- 3 hours ago
Age of Attraction - Season 1 - Episode 07: Can You Tell Us His Age?
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00:08You
00:13We're getting ready to go meet my family or friends. I don't know who's here for me. I'm pumped. I'm
00:20really excited. Yeah, so wish us luck
00:27I
00:28Was the last time you met someone's family it's been a while okay, do you remember why you like me?
00:32All right, here we go. I see somebody's scuse us
00:40I love you so this is hailey hi hailey
00:47This is logan. Oh my god. I'm so happy you're here
00:54Here's to hailey cheers so hailey
00:58She's a leo. He's a leo. Oh my god
01:01Here we go again with the star talk. Yeah, I don't believe in that remember we don't believe yeah, okay
01:06So anyways, we became best friends and she did not know how old I was
01:11How old did you think I was when we were hanging out?
01:13Maybe five years older than me and I told her and she laid in fetal position because I was shot
01:19Really? Yeah, she looks good. I mean, so logan did not know my age. So how old are you looking?
01:23Wait, let's tell her our story first
01:25Okay, let's tell her our story first. Yeah, I mean so tell her how we met
01:30You want to go
01:33Um, so yeah, we met at this retreat and the whole point of the retreat was like, you know go
01:41in nothing about age not talking about age
01:42That's that was like the goal and out of all the women there. I connected with Vanessa the most and
01:49I wanted to continue, you know, seeing it out
01:51Obviously, I just felt like we had a connection and and then after that we moved in together. Yeah
01:56Okay, now we're here. How is that? How is that? Um, yeah
02:02It's been fun. I mean, she's
02:05She's you can tell she's a strong independent woman. Are you keeping up?
02:10You know, I try um, but looks like I think I'm doing a good job. I don't know
02:15I mean, we have our ups and downs, but it's good
02:17And I think tell me tell me about that
02:19I think you know, it's like we I mean, we're too fiery like we have a very fiery person out
02:25Like, you know, we do fight. I'm not gonna lie
02:27I mean, we kind of tell each other how it is and you know how we feel
02:31Like he kind of matches my energy and I match his energy. Yeah, now we're just, you know, then we
02:36can get to the age
02:37We're not getting to the age yet
02:39You wanted to get to the age early on
02:41I'm saving you for what you said he did
02:42Well, you're sorry, Chops goes in so many pieces
02:44I know, I'm sorry
02:45I'm sorry
02:46Say this, say this, what do you want me to say?
02:48Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really excited
02:49Is this like that fighting up that I'm seeing right now?
02:52The fiery-ness between us?
02:53Yeah, just like say this, say this. Oh, don't talk about it. Say this. Talk about the age. Oh, don't
02:57talk about the age
02:57Say what you want to say. Guess how old are you? Okay, just guess how old are you? I want
03:01her to guess
03:0238
03:03Well, I'm old
03:04How old are you?
03:06I'm 29
03:06No
03:09Are you screaming, crying through us now?
03:11Here's the thing though, here's the thing
03:12You guys are best friends though
03:16Vanessa's young
03:17No, and that's why we click so well like even like when we're in the apartment
03:20I don't feel the age difference, you know, but then sometimes it's like if you go out or like this
03:26conversation
03:27You get reminded of it and it's like that part's hard, but it's like everything else
03:31When I think of Vanessa, I mean, I feel like we're the same thing
03:34Right, right, right, right
03:35But what I want to say is like, I think it's so cool. My best friend is 32
03:39And my best guy is 29
03:41Like, and I'm 49
03:43Top of the roster
03:44He's the top of the roster. He's my only one. Stop
03:48You're the only one. Oh my gosh
03:50What?
03:51I just, it's crazy
03:53You know, I wasn't happy to see
03:56Haley's reaction to like how old I actually am
03:59I'm constantly reminded of the age gap
04:02With my parents with the outside world now with Haley and you know, it's tough
04:08It's the reality of you know, our life together so far. So
04:12Um, hopefully Vanessa's saying good things, uh, but you know, you never know
04:17Obviously, you know my daddy. That's right. I want to hear like what your impression of him was
04:21I I don't know like I thought it was kind of weird
04:25The way
04:27You guys like literally got like these like little mini fights. Yeah, like what's going on there? Is it like
04:32in a fun way?
04:34Or is this in like a
04:35I know. Okay. Does this remind you of any relationships of mine?
04:38All of them. Yes, I know seriously
04:42So at some point i'm like is this me or is this him or do I just pick really strong
04:47person out?
04:48I don't know. I don't like that. And yeah, I think that the meeting obviously this is a strange situation,
04:55but that was
04:56Bad but it's just a bad interaction
04:59He literally had a mini fight with you like twice while we were yeah
05:02Like that's weird. Yeah, I think that's weird. Yeah, so that's what I want to talk about
05:06So we move in together. I thought we were friends
05:10And like then finally like it got to be more than friends, but like I you move in together and
05:14you feel like you guys are just friends
05:16For like the first couple of days
05:17He was like sleeping with a pillow in between us and saying his prayers
05:20I mean that seems like significant
05:22It's just like these dumb little things that make me think he's still a little childish
05:26You know, I mean 29, but I think like I look at you and you're 32 and I don't feel
05:31like an age difference between you and I at all
05:34Like you're that person like you need to be hearing is like
05:38I know me too and I was at first I was like me too. I was excusing them as like
05:43yellow pie
05:43Are you like ready to take this home like to the next level? Yeah, like you want to continue this
05:49really? Yeah
05:49So I mean obviously things would be yeah different sure so for me, I feel like
05:58Honestly
05:59This this thing that we've been through has bonded us together. Yeah, like in a way that like I've never
06:05been with anyone else
06:06You know in the beginning it was great
06:09And then it got a little lukewarm and then it was bad and then it was good and now I'm
06:14just like where am I like?
06:15It's been like so been running in circles with it
06:19Do you think it's his age or do you think it's this personality type? It's sounding to me
06:24That it could be just a little bit of both. Yeah
06:28Maybe he's like having an issue with the age and that's why he's so hot and cold. Yeah, and like
06:34causing these problems
06:36I know yeah, so like
06:39What it so should you like take that ring off your finger?
06:44In relationships, vanessa normally wants somebody
06:48Super outgoing the life of the party. I think she needs somebody a little bit younger somebody who's still outgoing
06:54fun
06:55Not a lot of baggage, but at the same time
06:59That's kind of like where things might come into a problem because
07:02He is those things so you know do I think this is the best thing for her
07:07I'm not sure
07:08No, we can't take this for granted anymore
07:22Oh, parachute pants. Not really. I like these. They are not parachute pants
07:2828. That's the year I was born. Oh my god. Awesome. Good to know
07:34Um, I went to breakfast with my sister and kept asking me about age and stuff and I told her
07:45Okay
07:46It's important for them to know. Yeah, but like they don't know me
07:49But I know you so they need to know about who you are. I just it's hard for me to
07:56sort of like
07:57Understand how they could like accept me given all of those like very different
08:05Circumstances I would think that they would be like how can you know that you feel the way you do
08:12I think my people are going to be a little bit more cautious
08:17I know my kids I know that they
08:20Want me to be happy they want me to find someone um
08:25You know they love me so they
08:33I you know I can't imagine that they'd be like
08:38Against what I want but I don't know
08:44I mean it's scary yeah, I think the more we talk about the more scared I get because i'm worried
08:51that
08:52That something I can't control is going to fuck this up. I got it. I don't want to get blindsided
08:59I just need to know from you. Is it worth it for me to continue to invest in this?
09:07Do you think we can navigate that backlash together?
09:11I
09:12Mean, this is just really hard
09:15But it's just like I wish we didn't have this stupid complication
09:20What complication like just to worry about people's perceptions and judgments and age stuff, but it's a complication on your
09:28side
09:28I'm only stressed about it because you're stressed about it
09:31And you're so stressed about it
09:35I
09:35Emotions are running high
09:38I know
09:39I've never heard my face
09:47You said it's hard
09:49We're meeting somebody
09:50I'm a good viper
09:52Nervous as shit
09:52Hey, don't call me out like that
09:55You're nervous too
09:57I am
09:57Very
10:04I'm happy to see you
10:05I'm so happy
10:07You didn't expect to see me
10:08No
10:09So happy
10:09Oh my god
10:10Well, I gotta get my head
10:11I'm super excited to see my best friend and my cousin
10:15Good to see you
10:16Hi, nice to meet you
10:17How are you?
10:18Nice to meet you as well
10:19I'm good
10:19I'm good
10:20What is your name?
10:21Pfeiffer
10:21Pfeiffer
10:22Raycherice
10:23Nice to meet you
10:24She's seen me at low points
10:27So she's protective of me and you know my feelings in my heart
10:31So I definitely know she's going to have some tough questions
10:35Derek is definitely a pivotal point of my life
10:38So I'm just wanting to see how you guys connect
10:41Have you guys talked about any future plans or have you thought about anything
10:46future plans?
10:47Yeah
10:47Yeah
10:48Yeah, we have
10:48So she's currently in Seattle
10:51Oh, Seattle
10:51Nice
10:52Okay
10:52And like her contract where she's working is up in three months
10:56Wow
10:57Wow
10:58Yeah
10:58All right
10:58I mean
10:59Okay
10:59All of that's lined up
11:00So we talked about obviously me having the boys, right?
11:04So she's open to moving because obviously I'm stationary
11:07I can't
11:07Correct
11:08And you are living in Seattle currently
11:10Yes
11:11Yes
11:11So that would be a big move for you
11:13Yes
11:13If you were to move to Texas
11:14It would be
11:15I'm originally from Pittsburgh
11:17Okay
11:18So I moved from Pittsburgh to Seattle
11:20Mm-hmm
11:20By myself
11:21Nice
11:22A big, I mean, cross-country change
11:25But I've always been the type of person to kind of go for that sort of adventure
11:31And I like change
11:32Especially, I mean, be a good reason
11:35Don't worry
11:36Definitely change
11:37It was very important for me to establish that when I'm moving to Dallas
11:42Like I do want to be like fight for it
11:44Like I still want to be myself
11:45Correct
11:46My group of people
11:47Correct
11:48Um, because you can't
11:49You can't rely on just one relationship
11:51For, to be your only relationship in your life
11:54Mm-hmm
11:55Um, because that's a lot of pressure for one person to be everything
11:57And that's kind of what I was gearing towards too
12:00Yes
12:00Considering the kiddos
12:01It's like, how do you feel about
12:03Yeah, I mean, I knew, um, right when I started talking to Derek that he had children
12:08And that's like very important to me
12:10Correct
12:10Um, and I knew that he wouldn't be able to move
12:13But I am in the position where I can
12:15Okay
12:15Um, and I take, I mean, I take family seriously
12:18I really want a big family with lots of kids
12:20I'm assuming you don't have kids
12:22No
12:22Okay
12:23And so you want a big family
12:24Yes
12:25You'll be okay with kind of incorporating yourself into a family
12:28Absolutely, absolutely
12:29Yeah
12:29Awesome
12:30Just more, more people to love
12:32Exactly
12:33Um, yeah
12:34And remind me, I don't know, how old are you?
12:37I'm 23
12:40Okay
12:42I did not know that
12:43Yeah
12:44We did it a little bit different
12:46A little far apart
12:47Yeah, we didn't, we didn't know
12:48We had no concept of each other's age
12:50Um, but it, yeah, I really have no
12:52I have no person, like, I have no issue with age gaps
12:55Um, I'm, I'm really, I am about like, who is the person
12:59Who, correct
13:00Because it doesn't matter
13:00I've been in alignment with her life
13:02But have you dated someone with kids?
13:05I, no, I have never dated anybody with children
13:08Okay
13:09Um, I guess my biggest point of reference was
13:12Well, my parents were split up when I was really young
13:15Um, and my dad was like, basically a single dad
13:17Yeah
13:18Um, so I had a lot of personal experience with like, the step-parent figure
13:23Okay
13:24Um, I think there's definitely a way to go about, um, being, like, we've talked about
13:29Being introduced to, to his, his children
13:31Um, and I think it's really important to take the time before doing that
13:36Yeah
13:36Um, because I know how it's impacted me meeting people quickly
13:40Um, like the women that my dad was with, um, I would never want to put Derek's children in that
13:47situation
13:47And it seems like you're very understanding
13:49Right
13:49Which is honestly a very amazing characteristic, you know
13:53But being like, in the real world
13:56Totally
13:56Of things where it's like, hey, we only plan quality time
13:59Right
13:59Once a month
14:00Well, Dom is calling now
14:02Yeah
14:02And he's saying, hey, I miss you, Dad
14:04Right
14:05And Derek goes with his son
14:07How would that kind of look?
14:10Like, yeah, if I feel like time is not being made
14:13It, I would just bring it up
14:14That I would say, like, yeah, like, I'm feeling, like, can we get, like, one date in the books?
14:20A month
14:20Like, I don't need, I don't need a ton
14:22You're not asking for every day
14:25Pfeiffer's 23
14:29I, that, that's, that's, that's, that's a gap
14:34What does that really look like long term?
14:38Because 10 years from now, she could be a completely different person than she is today
14:42And maybe those things that Pfeiffer mentioned she was okay with
14:46Maybe she wouldn't be okay with five years from now
14:48Who knows?
14:49I think these are questions that are something to kind of think about
14:54Absolutely, yeah
14:55We need to see when that storm hit
14:57Right, what it looks like
14:58What does it look like?
14:59Right, absolutely
14:59And it will, it'll hit
15:00Like, that's, that's just life in general
15:02Let me fade away through the night
15:11How are you feeling?
15:16I'm okay, it could be better
15:18Do you want to, do you want to talk a little bit?
15:21I mean, I don't, I don't know
15:23What do you want to talk?
15:24Like, yeah, actually, I'd like to tell you how I'm feeling a little bit
15:28Okay
15:28You want to sit down?
15:29Yeah, just give me a blankie
15:32I have never been broken down this much in a relationship
15:35And I've never felt so exhausted in moments in relationships
15:37But I care about Leah so much
15:39And I care about the connection that we've made
15:41I want to make this work and move forward
15:44I want to talk and all I really want to talk about was just to remind you that I see
15:49you
15:49And that I know that this is hard on you
15:52Just like this is hard on me, this whole process
15:54Um, but I want to be honest about the fact that the overbearingness
16:02It's quite literally driving me nuts
16:04Maybe I just think of it a little differently
16:06I think I'm more of a, I'm trying to do like a we thing
16:09But then it's like, I feel like you keep doing a me thing
16:12Which is cool
16:13Well, I think it goes back to the fact that you don't want to be left alone
16:18Which I understand
16:19I think what you realize is like, I'm left alone a lot
16:23I'm a flight attendant, we're alone all the time
16:26Like, trust me, when I'm alone, I'm alone
16:29And I have no problem with it
16:31But it's like, I just don't understand
16:33I don't know what is healthy for you and healthy for me
16:37And then like, find us our healthy place
16:39I'm, I'm struggling
16:41Like, I'm really, really struggling
16:42I know, I see it
16:44And that's why I'm like, I don't
16:45That's why for me, it's like, I don't know what to do for you
16:48And like, I want you to be like your happy, healthy self
16:51I just, I don't know
16:52I just, I miss what it was like at the retreat
16:54I know
16:55And like, I miss the way you looked at me
16:59I do
17:02I, I, it hurts me to hear that like, you feel
17:06That I'm looking at you that way
17:08Because I really am trying
17:10My absolute heart is to
17:13Make sure you feel loved
17:14Like, I really am
17:15I'm just telling you that I won't leave this
17:18Without giving all of that I got
17:21That's, that's what I'll tell you, you know
17:23And I, and I believe that you won't either
17:25So, I appreciate you hearing me
17:27No, thank you for having this conversation with me
17:30Yeah, let's just take it day by day
17:33We're good?
17:38Thank you
17:40Thank you
17:40Yeah, we'll figure this out
17:43We'll figure this out
17:51Mmm
17:52Delicious
17:53So good
17:55Having my friends meet Libby
17:57Really put things into perspective for me
18:00I mean, integrating a 22 year old girl into my life is definitely concerning
18:06We live on different coasts, different time zones
18:09Kids, work, life, and what happens when we're back to all of that
18:17So remember when we were, like, talking
18:20And you were telling me how you wish that you would have
18:23Taken more time between college and the real world
18:28And, like, traveled or moved abroad or something
18:32I don't know, it's just been, like, on my mind
18:35Like, I know we have the commitments, honey, coming up
18:41And I feel like the closer we get to that, the more I've been in my head
18:45About, like, is there a future with us? Are we aligned? Is our age going to be more of a
18:53factor?
18:55I just know, like, when I was 22
18:58I wasn't ready to be in a serious, committed relationship
19:02And I knew that, so
19:04It was just, I don't know, it's been something that's on my mind
19:07I'm like, if there's more life that you feel like you need to go and live
19:11And, like, do it by yourself
19:13I would understand that
19:15To me, I don't view it as that
19:17I'm not like, oh, this is somebody who's going to take away from my life
19:20And they're going to expect me to, um, be a certain way
19:24Or not travel, not have fun, not see my friends, whatever
19:30I don't see it like that
19:31I feel like you add to my life
19:33I mean, I've already had so much fun with you
19:35And, like, to me, that's experiencing life
19:38I know I'm a lot of fun, like, right now
19:41I am more boring at home
19:43Yeah
19:43I don't go out that much
19:46There's definitely, my life is more just, like, established and settled
19:51And I think that's always been an issue with me when I date, like, you know, younger
19:55It's like, am I holding you back from, you know, I guess what I wanted in my 20s
20:01I don't know, like, obviously I'm only 22, but I don't think I'm as crazy as you might think
20:07The most important things to me in my life have been stability and my friends and my family
20:13And, you know, like, my career and keeping myself on track and all that stuff
20:18Like, that's what feels good in life to me, not being crazy
20:23Part of something I wanted to experience was a stable relationship with a normal person
20:28An old guy
20:30So
20:30A really old
20:31Really old guy
20:32Really old person
20:33I think it's just hard to hear a lot of hesitation from him
20:38And I guess it hits me differently now that I've, like, opened up to him fully
20:44There is a part of me that is nervous that
20:48If we get to the next step and we're outside of here these doubts and reservations will just continue
20:54And at that point we will be fully in and that will only get harder
21:02Everything we're getting comes up
21:05Finally the way it ends up and fall
21:08Sipping out of the shadows
21:11Can you meet me?
21:12No, I'm good
21:13You're good?
21:13Yeah, for now
21:14Um, so you got to meet my friend, which I'm so happy because
21:19How ironic, like, my best friend and you are, like, the same age
21:23It's pretty on brand
21:24I feel like
21:25Yeah, yeah
21:25I did not expect you, I expected nothing less of your best friend
21:28I expected her to be young, vibrant, just like you
21:31Yeah
21:31It's cool to see you with your, with your girl, you know, like, you were, you were shining as always
21:36I'm so happy
21:36What do you, what do you think her honest opinion is of me in this?
21:41I think she was just worried about the fighting thing, like, less saying the fighting
21:44It kind of alerted her
21:46Yeah
21:46To, like, what is this fighting? What is going on? Like, how, is this a big deal type of thing?
21:51Does this, like, define us? Are we more than just having, like, little fights, you know, and
21:57I mean, you tell me
21:58I mean, I don't want it
21:59What do you think?
22:00No, I don't want it to define us
22:01I don't either
22:02I would like to just be able to, like, elevate both of us to a place where, like, we don't
22:08have to have the fighting anymore, you know what I mean?
22:11Like, it's just like, it's like a battle of egos, you know, like, it's just not healthy, and it's not
22:17good, and I don't want to do it
22:18So, I'm like, from this point on, I'm like, I just want to pick the battles, like, if it's not,
22:24we're fighting
22:24And I feel like today was a good day, like, you know, we got annoyed with each other, but we're
22:28like, whatever, blow it off, you know?
22:30Yeah
22:30So, I mean, do you think, like, eventually, like, just our little quips be like, that's just Vanessa
22:35I would hope so, yeah
22:37I mean, it was funny, because, like, at dinner, like, it was like, is this a fight, you know?
22:40Yeah
22:41No, like, this is literally me talking, and then all of a sudden you going, like, no, talk about this,
22:46talk about this, talk about this
22:47And, like, going in circles, I'm like, Vanessa, what do you, what do you want?
22:50I'm always 10 steps ahead
22:51Yeah
22:51I know
22:51You are
22:52You're right
22:52Like, you have to see that in yourself
22:53No, and I know that
22:54You know what I mean?
22:55Because my mind is, like, constantly going
22:56It is, but it's like, look, if you want somebody to, in their personality
22:59To be their personality, you have to take a step back sometimes
23:02It goes, yeah, it goes both ways
23:03I'm not saying it's just you
23:04Like, there's me, like, I'm, like, push, push, push
23:07Right
23:08And you're, like, 10, you're 10 steps behind, and I'm 10 steps forward
23:11Well, I've just given you the steps
23:13Yeah, I know, I know
23:14You know, but I do feel like, like, I want you to accept me for how I am, and I
23:20want to accept you for how you are
23:21So, it's like, we just have to, like, navigate through that
23:26Right
23:28So, hopefully we can figure this out
23:30Yeah
23:30So, what's next?
23:32Yeah
23:32Yeah, what's next?
23:34I just asked you
23:35You can't ask me that question, though
23:36No, I mean, it's like, the question that's hanging in the air
23:39Like, where do we go from here, you know?
23:42What's next is we enjoy the night
23:43Stop it
23:45And we have fun
23:46And we light some candles
23:48Okay
23:49I'll step out and take this ride
23:52I feel alive
23:53So, I'm gonna step out and crown
23:57Got something to believe in
23:59Even if I pull back down
24:03Nothing's gonna stop me now
24:05Cause now I'm fireproof
24:10All right, what's on the happy hour menu?
24:13Great, expect, ooh, wine flight
24:19Zero appetite
24:20Zero appetite
24:21Zero appetite?
24:22No, no
24:26Here they are
24:27I've got this fire inside
24:29Yay
24:30Oh, my God
24:33Hey, Mom
24:36How are you?
24:37Good, how are you doing?
24:38Richard
24:38John
24:39John, nice to meet you
24:40Oh, my God
24:45I can't believe you guys are all here
24:47It is crazy
24:48Were you not expecting, like, to come?
24:50How are you guys?
24:51Good, how are you?
24:52Wow
24:52I can't believe you guys are all here
24:54Yeah
24:55Cheers
24:55Cheers, nice to meet you
24:57Yep
24:57Thanks for coming
24:59Taking the flight
25:00Very, very happy to
25:01It's been fun
25:02Your mom talks about all you guys all the time
25:06Obsessively
25:07And I'll say that she's very proud of you guys
25:10Yeah
25:10I'm happy you guys are here
25:12Yeah
25:13And I think she is, too
25:14No, I'm not happy
25:16Yeah
25:17Yeah
25:17Well, what made you want to take this journey?
25:23I guess getting out of Miami
25:25Miami's very superficial
25:27And not to talk down on it
25:29But it's hard to make, like, a genuine connection
25:31Um, I came into this experience, like, super open-minded
25:35And ready for whatever came to me
25:38And connected fast
25:40Yeah, for whatever reason
25:42Like, we gravitated towards each other from the very beginning
25:45And it's just like our relationship has built more and more
25:49And it's, you know, been very genuine
25:52He's, like, a nice, safe dude
25:54And it's been really great to get to know him
25:59And...
25:59Do you, are you guys living together right now, or?
26:02Yeah
26:02Oh, you are
26:03How's that?
26:04It's been good
26:05He's being a very good boy
26:08He's, like, picking up and, like, doing things
26:11But, yeah, actually, like, probably the one thing that I would say
26:16That bothers me the most
26:18Is that, like, a couple times we've been at, like, a restaurant
26:20And you'll take, like, a paper napkin
26:22And you'll just be, like, toot
26:24And I'm, like, that's not where that goes
26:27See, I'm learning something
26:28Small things
26:28Yeah
26:29Small things
26:29I feel like I do that
26:30Like, nobody would say anything like that
26:32Yeah, well
26:33What do you think about, like, having, like
26:35Like, her having, like, older kids, too
26:39So, we'll...
26:40I don't know
26:41We've talked about that, but
26:42Yeah, like, when we revealed
26:46Like, our truths to each other
26:48Age, and obviously you guys were a huge part of that
26:51Yeah, of course
26:52Um, he was, like, whatever
26:56Not, like, a passive, right?
26:58Just, like, who you are who you are
27:00And she shouldn't be, and she's not explaining me
27:03But she shouldn't be ashamed of that
27:05And you don't want to have kids, I'm assuming?
27:08I don't want kids, no
27:10I've never seen that in my future
27:14Yeah
27:15Yeah
27:16I felt comfortable giving her that answer
27:18And that's how I honestly feel, so
27:21That's fair
27:22I mean, I will say the fact that we are all, like, older, though, too
27:25It kind of, you don't have to deal with the BS of, like
27:27I don't know, like, me going to college
27:29You're, like, paying, I don't know
27:31Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:32Like, the pressure of all that
27:33Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:34I mean, that's part of why I agreed to do this
27:37Was because I, you know
27:39Now that we're all done, yeah
27:40Well, it's not, yeah, I mean, it's not that you're done
27:43Like, obviously, I'm always going to be your mom's
27:45And be supportive and everything
27:47But it did come sort of at a strange time
27:51That this opportunity was, like, literally the day I left your graduation
27:56Yeah
27:57And I remember, like, leaving you guys that day
28:00Yeah
28:00And crying and being, like, what am I doing?
28:03What am I doing?
28:04Yeah, yeah
28:04You know, like, because I was, like, having doubts about it
28:07And leaving you guys was so hard
28:11Yeah
28:12But, you know
28:14But, I mean, you've always tried to protect us and think about us first
28:17But maybe you've been neglecting yourself
28:20It's important to take care of yourself, too
28:22And to do something that's for you and for your future
28:25Yeah
28:28Yeah
28:32Yeah, I mean, that's what I said, you know
28:35In this whole thing was, like, I more or less, like, finished that chapter
28:40Making sure you guys were, like, sent off on, like, your, like, best way possible
28:45And so now it was, like, a time for me to find, you know, something that was good for me
28:54And, like
28:55Your own happiness
28:57Exactly
28:57Yeah
28:58Yeah
28:59Yeah
28:59How would you envision your ideal future together?
29:03Like, um, yeah, I don't, I mean, we don't know
29:08Like, I'm not going to predict anything
29:12I respected Lauren for caring about her mom and asking those hard questions
29:18I think probably all three of the kids were interested in those answers
29:22I know how important, like, family time is
29:25So I'm going to head back to the apartment
29:27Thanks again for coming
29:28Hopefully we catch up soon
29:30Yes
29:30Good to meet you
29:33Richard
29:33Yes
29:34Very nice to meet you
29:35Thanks again
29:36Yeah
29:36Do you have again?
29:38Yeah
29:38Bye
29:38Nice to meet you
29:40Of course
29:41Hopefully see you soon
29:43Yep
29:44I think today went great
29:45But I saw Teresa kind of beat around the bush
29:49I wish she was a little more confident and proud
29:52Yeah, I think John and I are solid
29:55I kind of wish she would have boasted about that a little more
29:59And I think the kids would have probably fed off her energy
30:03Saying, like, oh, shit, my mom's, like, she's really sold on this guy, so
30:06Yeah
30:07I didn't love that lack of enthusiasm
30:12Yeah
30:13What do you think?
30:15You look really happy and I'm so excited for you
30:19Do you see yourself, like, getting married?
30:23I don't know
30:24Yeah
30:25Can't answer that question
30:26And, you know, you guys have seen me, like, hurt and destroyed and
30:32Yeah
30:33You know, and I don't want you guys to see that again, so I'm being very careful
30:39And, um, but I also want to take your feelings and consideration into my decision making
30:48You know, I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable with any situation that I'm, like, in
30:55So, you know, I want you guys to at all times feel like you can be
31:00Yeah
31:01I'm not just saying this
31:02Like, you can be up front with me
31:04Yeah
31:04And tell me because you are, like, the most important things to me in my whole world
31:12So, can you tell us about his age?
31:16No
31:17I mean, I can, but I don't want to
31:19Why?
31:20Because I really feel strongly that I want you to get to know him like I did
31:26Yeah
31:26You know, we formed a connection based on those deeper qualities and, like, the more meaningful
31:33things
31:33Yeah
31:34And I want you guys to also have that opportunity
31:38Yeah
31:39But I just want that to come at a later stage
31:42Yeah, I just want to make sure you're thinking realistically
31:45Like, the age is going to make a big difference when you're out of this whole experience
31:51No, I trust me
31:53It's a huge thought
32:00Not telling the age is definitely a little weird
32:03I would say I think John is probably more around 35
32:06If John were younger than about 30, it would definitely be more of, like, a surprise to me
32:11And definitely more of a weirder thing
32:13It's just because, like, we're maybe even closer to age than she is
32:16So that's definitely a little strange
32:18He seems really into her
32:21Which I think that's a good sign that they have great chemistry
32:25But I want to protect my mom, obviously
32:27Because she's been in hard relationships for the past 10 years
32:32But I do think realistically
32:33There's a lot of other things that come with the age difference
32:37And I think time will tell
32:39If it really will be able to work out in the long run
32:50How are you feeling, ma'am?
32:54Um
32:56Talk to me
32:57Honestly, pretty bad
33:00Okay
33:03I think
33:07Maybe I've been a little bit
33:11Overly optimistic
33:12About things
33:14I guess
33:16Okay
33:17Um
33:20Okay, like, this whole time
33:22I've been telling myself
33:23I'm like
33:25I'm moving because I want to move
33:27I'm moving because I don't want to be
33:28Which is true
33:29I don't want to be in Seattle
33:30I don't want to be there
33:31But, like
33:32I'm moving
33:33To basically be with you
33:35Like, that is
33:37That is the truth of the matter
33:38Like, that's what I'm doing
33:41Mm-hmm
33:42And
33:45I have always told myself
33:48I will
33:48I will
33:49I will not change my life for a man
33:51Which
33:52I think my big struggle right now
33:55Is, like
33:55Am I betraying
33:58Myself
33:59By giving up everything
34:01For a relationship
34:02And
34:04I'm having a hard time
34:06With
34:07My own personal
34:09Values
34:10Okay
34:12Um
34:13I also think
34:14Sometimes I just don't need
34:17To hear, like
34:18Oh, everything's gonna be fine
34:20Because it's not helpful
34:24Um
34:25Because it's, like
34:28I'm
34:29I'm, like
34:30Like
34:31Giving up everything
34:34Which, like
34:35And you're
34:36It's not like you're not
34:39But
34:41Like, I am
34:42And it's, like
34:43I don't
34:45Like
34:46Like, put yourself
34:47In that position
34:49Like
34:50I'm not only
34:51Leaving everybody
34:53And everything
34:54I've worked for
34:55But I'm also
34:57Going against
34:58My own values
34:59To do that
35:01Which is not to say
35:03That I'm not going to
35:04Or that it's not
35:05Going to be worth it
35:07But sitting here
35:10Now
35:10I'm, like
35:13What the fuck
35:14Am I doing?
35:15What the fuck
35:15Am I doing?
35:22I'm sorry
35:23That's, like
35:23Not very
35:25Positive
35:26Or kind
35:27But
35:28No, it's real
35:29I want you to be honest
35:31And real
35:34I'm just, like
35:38I'm just scared
35:39I understand
35:41I understand
35:42I think that, um
35:45Uncertainty means
35:46That's there
35:46That's normal
35:48And I know
35:49That that's
35:49Extremely uncomfortable
35:50For you
35:51And I know
35:52It's like
35:52Well
35:52Derek, that's easy
35:54For you to say
35:54Because you're not
35:55The one making
35:55That sacrifice
35:57I get
35:57I get all of that
35:59There is not
36:01Like some word
36:03Or magic formula
36:04That I can say
36:05To just make
36:05All that go away
36:06That's just going
36:07To be an element of it
36:10But
36:10Change is
36:11Not that
36:12Always
36:13You know
36:13Change is just
36:14More of like
36:15Evolving
36:17And so
36:18Still have your friends
36:19You'll have me
36:21You'll have
36:21Your relationship
36:22You'll have new friends
36:23You'll eventually
36:24You know
36:24Whether you change
36:25A career 25 times
36:27It doesn't matter
36:28Like you don't have
36:28To know all the answers
36:29Right now
36:30You don't have to
36:30Like I don't
36:32I don't
36:32I don't want to stress
36:33Personally
36:33Like just being
36:34Like selfish
36:35I don't want to be
36:36Stressed out
36:36Like oh my god
36:37If I ever stress
36:38About this
36:38Like I need you
36:39To be in a peaceful
36:40State for us
36:42Like that's how
36:42We'll flourish
36:43Like just being real
36:44So
36:46Mm-hmm
36:47Mm-hmm
36:48What
36:52What
36:54Say it
36:57So you're saying
36:58In order for this
37:00Relationship to work
37:01Starting off
37:02You need to be
37:03Making this decision
37:04From a place of peace
37:06Is that correct
37:10Okay
37:11I tried to keep it simple
37:28Simple never gets you this
37:31Can't resist
37:34No
37:35I thought
37:37Oh this is beautiful
37:42So excited to see everyone
37:47Can't waste another minute
37:49Without a leap
37:51Oh babe
37:52Look at this
37:54You guys like
37:55You guys are glowing
37:57Over here
37:58Are you?
37:58Are you?
38:02And now you're
38:04Proving to me
38:05Hey guys
38:06Hi honey
38:08I miss you so much
38:10You look so beautiful
38:11Yeah
38:14Hey guys
38:15What's up?
38:16How are you?
38:17What's up?
38:18Hi
38:18What's up buddy?
38:30Everybody looks amazing
38:32You guys all look stunning
38:34You guys all look stunning
38:34Can we toast
38:35Everybody together?
38:36I think no matter
38:37What happens beyond this
38:38We've all grown
38:39And we've all become
38:40Better people
38:40So
38:42You know
38:42One day at a time
38:43Let's just keep moving forward
38:44Whether it's together or apart
38:45I know that this has been a blessing
38:46And I'm very appreciative
38:47Together or apart?
38:48Dang
38:49I agree
38:50I love it
38:51Cheers
38:51Cheers
38:52Cheers y'all
38:53Cheers you guys
38:54Together or apart?
38:55Better or apart?
38:56Two together
38:57Hello
38:59Oh
39:01Hey
39:04How are y'all doing?
39:08We're great
39:09How are you doing?
39:10We're great
39:10We're not doing great
39:11It's not about us
39:12It's not?
39:13We're already in love
39:14We're married
39:14We have a baby
39:15Okay
39:15Okay
39:16All the things
39:17So last time we saw you
39:18We dropped a little surprise
39:20Letting you all know
39:21That your friends and family
39:22Were on the way
39:24So no more surprise
39:25That's more of a bomb
39:27Not a surprise
39:28That was a bomb
39:29Well and just like that
39:30This relationship wasn't
39:32Just yours anymore
39:33Yeah
39:33To say the least
39:34You had to open it up
39:36To opinions
39:37To pressure
39:38And to judgment
39:39That's true
39:40And it affected all of you
39:41In different ways
39:42Teresa
39:44I know when we
39:45Kind of dropped that bomb
39:47I couldn't help but notice
39:48Some nervousness
39:50I was horrified
39:52Scared
39:52And I wasn't expecting it
39:55To happen the way it did
39:56Obviously your kids are older
39:58They're you know
39:59I think
39:59Well I mean I'm very protective
40:01Of my kids
40:01They're my kids
40:03However
40:03John was extremely
40:06Poised and very articulate
40:08And they asked him
40:10Great hard questions
40:11And he answered them
40:12You know like a baller
40:14And it was great
40:15Was his age
40:17One of the questions
40:18That your kids asked
40:19Well I was like
40:20Yeah no no
40:21Oh you didn't tell
40:22No they don't know
40:24Oh
40:24So they never told
40:26And they won't know
40:26For a while
40:27Until I decide
40:31What's your reasoning
40:32For not telling your kids
40:34His age
40:34Because there is a
40:36Gigantic double standard
40:38If he was my age
40:40And I was his age
40:41It would be such
40:42A lesser of a problem
40:44And so I'm going into this
40:46As you know
40:47Really in a difficult position
40:50Because there will be
40:51A lot of judgment
40:52Not on only me
40:53But my kids probably
40:54Their friends
40:55Our community
40:56All of that
40:57And if we're being real
40:59Like and we want to say
41:00Like age doesn't matter
41:01Then why should I have to
41:03Reveal it right now
41:04Why shouldn't I
41:05Be able to let them
41:06Get to know him
41:08Before I say
41:10You know
41:10By the way
41:12He's like
41:13In your age range
41:14Like that's
41:15Going to be awkward
41:16Leah you've been pretty
41:18Expressive over there
41:20Because the whole point
41:21Of this journey
41:22Is to let everyone's
41:24Family know
41:25How old were
41:26The people that were dating
41:27That's the whole point of it
41:28So I didn't know
41:28That there was a choice
41:29I mean it doesn't have to happen
41:31When somebody else
41:32Tells me it has to happen
41:33Like I'm making
41:34But it's going to happen
41:34Regardless
41:35Yeah of course
41:37Why hide it now
41:38Like
41:40He's 27
41:41I'm not hiding it
41:41I'm trying to be strategic
41:43In letting my kids
41:45Get to know him
41:46As I did
41:48They will find out
41:49When they find out
41:50And it's nobody's
41:53Choice or decision
41:54To do that
41:54Except for he and I
41:55I just thought like
41:56We had to divulge it
41:58At the end of the day
41:59You know
41:59I thought that was
41:59The whole goal
42:00It was like
42:01We're not ashamed of it
42:02I'm not ashamed of how old he is
42:03I'm not ashamed of it
42:05So I just need some water
42:07It's really none of your business
42:08It's not my business
42:09It's just
42:10It's not my business
42:10It's going to come out
42:11One way or another
42:11It's none of your business
42:12Yeah
42:12I understand
42:16No I'm still going to have a voice
42:17But it's just
42:18I understand that you're coming
42:19You can have your voice
42:20That goes in your head
42:21Not verbally
42:22It's the voice that's going to be said
42:24Well I don't need to hear it
42:25Oh I'm sorry
42:26It just got said
42:29All I can say is
42:30Don't fucking come for me
42:31Because I will
42:37Let's stay respectful
42:38Guys
42:39We're good
42:44I think for clarity
42:45Friends and family
42:47Were coming to meet
42:48The person that you committed to
42:50And how many of those details
42:52You include is
42:53Up to you
43:04You shared space
43:06You shared lives
43:08You faced judgment
43:11And you found ways
43:12To stay connected
43:13But now
43:15It's decision time
43:17Tonight
43:18Is your last night together
43:22Tomorrow morning
43:23You will wake up
43:25Next to the person
43:25You've lived a life with here
43:27But then
43:28You have to say goodbye
43:30Because from that moment on
43:32You will be on your own
43:33No more shared space
43:36No more comfort
43:37In each other's presence
43:39Just time to sit
43:40With your heart
43:41Your doubts
43:43And your decision
43:49The next time you see each other
43:51It will be to speak your truth
43:53And to decide
43:54Do we move forward together
43:56Or do we walk away
43:59Each of you will make one final journey
44:01To a mountaintop
44:02Overlooking a place
44:04Where it all began
44:06Up there
44:07You'll stand face to face
44:08And ask
44:09Do you keep those promise rings
44:12And commit to taking this leap together
44:15Or do you take them off
44:17And choose a different path
44:19Alone
44:25Socks
44:31You've all got a lot to think about
44:38It's just not
44:39Fair
44:49You're 22
44:51I'm 38
44:53That's a big gap
44:55The truth is
44:57No matter how much
44:58I doubt
44:59The age gap
45:00I don't doubt
45:02The way I feel
45:04When I'm with you
45:06If we were to stay together
45:08I may regret it
45:10For the rest of my life
45:12I always protect you
45:14And I always protect your hearts
45:16Piper, I truly love you
45:21It's a huge commitment
45:22To say that this person
45:26Who's 27 years younger than me
45:28Is my boyfriend
45:28I need you to believe
45:30That age is just a number
45:32But also believe in me
45:34That every day I'm going to show up
45:35And work on this together
45:37I love you
45:40I can't see myself
45:41Growing with you
45:43You lit something inside of me
45:44That I thought was gone
45:47I think we've both made a decision
45:48That will impact
45:49Our lives and our families
45:51And I just hope and pray
45:53That's the right one
45:54He's like in the prime
45:55Of his life right now
45:56Honestly
45:57And why would he give that up
45:59For someone 20 years older than him
46:02Is this a party break up with
46:04I hate the promise ring back
46:08So I stay up
46:09Till the sun up
46:13I'm waiting for a sign
46:16Do I cross your mind?
46:18Don't wanna
46:20Find another
46:23Trying to forget
46:25But if I let go
46:27Will I see you again?
46:32Can we go back in time?
46:37Would it be such a cry?
46:42To look at this as a sign
46:47I'm trying again?
46:49I'm trying again
46:50One more time
46:53So I stay up
46:56Till the sun up
46:59I'm waiting for a sign
47:01If I let go
47:03Will I see you again?
47:27I'm waiting for a sign
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