- 16 hours ago
Bulls (2026)
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00:051, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
00:00:29Great darts
00:00:30Now where are you? He's coming back on
00:00:38Welcome back to the World Darts Championship
00:00:40In this cricket match, Smith and Henriksen have closed the 20s through the 15s
00:00:44and have two bullseyes
00:00:45They're also ahead by 20 points
00:00:48Whitman and Keyes have closed the 20s through the 15s
00:00:51and have one bullseye
00:00:52Alistair Whitman is going to need three bullseyes to win the first televised world championship
00:01:01And he's really going to have to hit three
00:01:03because Henriksen has been hammering the bullseye all night
00:01:06Well, if anybody can get a hat trick, it's Alistair Whitman
00:01:17Oh, that all but ends the match
00:01:20He has to hit a double bullseye to win
00:01:22and he's completely blocked it
00:01:24By engraving Smith and Henriksen on the trophy
00:01:51Women and Keyes have won the world championship
00:01:53I am Godsmack
00:01:55How did he do that?
00:01:56It's not human, I tell you
00:01:57Somebody get down there and stop the engraver
00:01:59That is the greatest closing door in the history of this game
00:02:02Grown by the greatest player in the history of this game
00:02:05That's for you, weirdo mittens
00:02:08Weirdo mittens
00:02:33You were not in the CIA
00:02:35Yes, I was, I was in Berlin when the wall came down
00:02:38You think that happened by itself?
00:02:40You're so full of shit, Birch
00:02:42All right, showtime, Mitch
00:02:55All right, all right
00:02:56You got this, Hank
00:02:58Only needs one bullseye to win
00:03:00Are you crazy?
00:03:01He hasn't hit a bullseye all night
00:03:03No way
00:03:03Well, I'm willing to bet you double or nothing on your bar tab
00:03:05He's going to hit one right now
00:03:06Oh, you're on
00:03:08All right
00:03:10You're due
00:03:11One bullseye, okay?
00:03:13You got this, baby
00:03:41All right
00:03:43Aw
00:03:51what in the hell were you aiming at what do you think how the hell am i supposed to know
00:03:56you hit literally every other damn thing in the room except the bullseye
00:04:00you know hank that happens again the rules say that if you catch the dart before it hits the
00:04:07floor you can shoot again thanks have you ever caught a dart that bounced off the board
00:04:12no have you ever seen anybody catch a dart that bounced off the board no have you ever even
00:04:17heard a story about someone catching a dart that bounced off the board no thanks that's great
00:04:24advice i'm trying to be cute hank now i'm gonna kick your ass all right dude yeah let's go
00:04:33showtime baby showtime drinks
00:04:55hey thanks for the drinks our pleasure anytime showtime baby showtime
00:05:14that loss drops us number eight in the standings one more and we're right out of the playoffs
00:05:19yeah dana was right i didn't hit a bull all night no bro you just gotta learn how to close
00:05:24the game
00:05:24well it doesn't help with you betting the whole tab on the match can we afford that
00:05:28i know i should have made a disclaimer like only their drinks like we couldn't buy for
00:05:33ian and virgil too but i'm an idiot sorry
00:05:40oh oh johnny ray he's just a good friend dude what are you doing
00:05:48you're talking about jackie yeah i just couldn't think of a song with jackie in it
00:05:53was that supposed to be come on eileen there's nowhere near the lyrics dude it's not about the song
00:05:59hank what i'm talking about here is closing the deal you only live once bro yeah okay when's the
00:06:05last time you went on a date i've dated most of those around here i've just run out of options
00:06:10it's a small town i'm gonna die alone you one of their hands shut up dude
00:06:18i am beat i know i'm never playing them again i'm done i hate them it's so stupid
00:06:28go next time baby don't worry about it show time new show time
00:06:32hey hey diddle for the middle see who opens in the morning
00:06:46have a good night ma'am
00:07:13hey jackie hi hey how was the match last night
00:07:18tough one huh we'll bounce back
00:07:21you want something yeah uh just some flights i guess what do those ones say on them these
00:07:26uh the ones next one foxy mama
00:07:31it's funny because i was gonna ask have you ever had one before
00:07:37um no really they're kind of awesome in fact you should come by the bar sometime we could have
00:07:43one together yeah i i really don't think that's gonna be my thing come on you can at least try
00:07:49one
00:07:50i think you'll like it and if for some reason you don't i'll get you something else
00:07:55what the hell are you talking about hey
00:07:57what do you mean
00:08:02oh okay ah oh my god i thought you said um bahama mama like the drink
00:08:08ah okay yeah that makes way more sense i was like she wants to share a foxy mama with me
00:08:14have we met no um sorry it's in my head i heard bahama mama i've been making drinks way too
00:08:21long
00:08:21you still want them yeah i gotta get them now right it's two bucks
00:08:25don't even worry about it these are on me
00:08:29really you come in here almost every day and buy something i think i could let this slide
00:08:34oh thanks you're welcome
00:08:41um i gotta get back to work but thanks again
00:08:48and seriously if if you want to come by the bar one night i'll make us a couple of bahama
00:08:52mamas
00:08:54maybe it'll be your thing
00:08:56i might just take you up on that
00:09:01i'll see ya
00:09:09hey hank you still haven't gotten my latest check from when i produced back to the future and i was
00:09:14you did not produce that movie
00:09:16yes i did no you didn't i looked it up yes i did i'm the one who told bob to
00:09:21use a delorean
00:09:22do you know what the time machine was before that a refrigerator
00:09:27how bad would that movie have sucked if they used a refrigerator
00:09:30then how come you're not an imdb
00:09:32because i'm the uncredited guy behind the scene
00:09:35my ass
00:09:37you're a very kind young man
00:09:48and can i please bum off
00:09:50piss off
00:09:50here virgil someone left us here
00:09:54thanks buddy one of these days
00:09:56no worries
00:09:58all right another rusty day i'll make it a double
00:10:08bro this is pathetic
00:10:10we need to do a ladies night or something
00:10:13we've had three
00:10:14i've been wanting to do karaoke night though that could be cool
00:10:17yeah that could be cool
00:10:18but we need something
00:10:19something big
00:10:21something different
00:10:22some way to get people in here
00:10:24hey real people
00:10:25uh
00:10:26we gotta think outside the box
00:10:32let's uh let's go work on your bullseyes and we'll try to come up an idea
00:10:35yeah
00:11:13see
00:11:15i can hit the 20s through 15s all day
00:11:17when it comes to the bullseye i have some kind of mental block
00:11:19rusty nail
00:11:20one minute i don't think about it
00:11:22just try throwing the dart as fast as you can
00:11:24without thinking
00:11:29oh crap
00:11:30still waiting on that drink hank
00:11:31yeah
00:11:32ian one second
00:11:33that's
00:11:34that was better
00:11:35look at number
00:11:36i don't know
00:11:37move
00:11:38move your stance
00:11:38a little bit
00:11:39okay try throwing from a different angle
00:11:41switch things up
00:11:41but don't think about it
00:11:43jesus christ
00:11:43give me those things
00:11:44would you before you hurt yourself
00:11:45wait
00:11:47back
00:11:47you need some room
00:11:53rusty nail
00:11:55now
00:12:00what a fun
00:12:13was it two doubles in a one
00:12:15one
00:12:16is it five bulls
00:12:17five
00:12:18it was two doubles in a one wasn't it
00:12:20that was amazing
00:12:21here
00:12:22yeah
00:12:24how'd you do that
00:12:25here
00:12:26on the house
00:12:28how'd i do that
00:12:29i imagine the bullseye was your face
00:12:32you want to throw a game with us
00:12:33no
00:12:33why not
00:12:34because you're idiots
00:12:36whoa
00:12:36who do you call an idiot
00:12:38i've sat here and watched you guys throw hundreds of games
00:12:40and you suck ass
00:12:42i'd rather throw darts in my own nuts
00:12:45we're not idiots are we
00:12:47no
00:12:48he's an asshole
00:12:49hey turn this up would you
00:12:53oh what
00:12:54oh hank
00:12:55with sugar
00:12:56and cinnamon
00:12:57and whatever the hell else you like
00:12:58would you please turn this up
00:13:02you could write a children's book
00:13:04hi
00:13:05i'm dirk mcintyre
00:13:06and i'm standing outside uptown social
00:13:08with nikki and lance gallium
00:13:09the brother duo from manchester england
00:13:11who some believe
00:13:12are the greatest to ever play the game of darts
00:13:14they're here in chicago to play for their 10th world darts championship
00:13:17first time it's ever been held in our country
00:13:18welcome to america gentlemen
00:13:20yeah we're here to play some f***ing team from some f***ing place for the world f***ing championship
00:13:25who gives a c***
00:13:26whoa whoa whoa
00:13:26gentlemen i need to remind you that we are on national television
00:13:29oh so sorry
00:13:31in that case
00:13:37f***ing f***ing
00:13:38you're playing the american champs jules the dutch dragon van dongan and chuck pipes pulio
00:13:42for your tenth world title
00:13:44yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah judge open and the pips we played him
00:13:46a hundred times in every different format and we're an hundred now it's embarrassing honestly we're embarrassed for the entire
00:13:53nation
00:13:54But it would tie you with the legendary Alistair Whitman.
00:13:58F*** him the f***ing wanker.
00:13:59Again, national television.
00:14:01And he is considered to be the greatest art player that's ever lived.
00:14:04In fact, didn't he come out of retirement to beat U2 for the Manchester Cup?
00:14:08What the f*** would you bring that up for?
00:14:09He couldn't carry me f***ing sack, Kim.
00:14:12We're the best that's ever been, and that's a f***ing fat.
00:14:14So you've been in town for a while, and the rumor is that it's not just to tune up for
00:14:18the big match.
00:14:19We're there to record our first f***ing album.
00:14:22So the rumor's confirmed.
00:14:24Is there anything you can tell us about the record?
00:14:26All you need to know, friend, is it's going to be the best f***ing thing you've ever f***ing heard in
00:14:32your own miserable goddamn life.
00:14:34Gotcha.
00:14:35Do you have a name for this upcoming record?
00:14:37No, we don't have a f***ing title yet.
00:14:38It doesn't f***ing matter, does it?
00:14:40It's going to be the biggest f***ing thing ever.
00:14:43I'm sure it will be.
00:14:45Is there anything you want to say to Jules and Chuck before the match?
00:14:47Yeah, yeah.
00:14:48F*** you, you f***ing tossers, all right?
00:14:51You f***ing f***er brains.
00:14:54So...
00:14:56f***ing f***ing...
00:14:57Understood.
00:14:59And fellas, before you go, I've got to ask.
00:15:01It's nighttime.
00:15:02Why are you two wearing sunglasses?
00:15:03Why are you...
00:15:04I'm about to punch you in the face right now.
00:15:06We have daytime sunnies, nighttime sunnies, rock and roll sunnies, and dark throwing sunnies.
00:15:11And we never, ever take off our sunnies.
00:15:15Do you even have sleeping sunglasses?
00:15:19Yeah!
00:15:25What a great couple of guys.
00:15:26Well, the best two-out-of-three world darts championship match
00:15:29will be broadcast here from Uptown Social
00:15:31live tomorrow night in Chicago.
00:15:33You won't want to miss it.
00:15:34What's his problem?
00:15:35Who gives a shit?
00:15:36Dude, we should go in the city and watch this match tomorrow night.
00:15:39Hell yeah, I'm down.
00:15:40All right.
00:15:41Ooh, who's gonna watch the bar?
00:15:45Eh, diddle for the middle.
00:16:12Hey, you made it.
00:16:13I couldn't go another day without trying a Bahama Mama.
00:16:17Coming right up.
00:16:19I'm gonna take a beer and a whiskey napkin.
00:16:23Showtime, baby! Showtime!
00:16:27Hey, buddy! Where's Hank?
00:16:30Hey, how about later we'll play for tonight's bar tab, too?
00:16:34Showtime, baby! Showtime!
00:16:36Don't you two have to get tired of being you two?
00:16:40No.
00:16:41No.
00:16:44There you are. Cheers.
00:16:47Cheers.
00:16:53That is really good.
00:16:54I told you.
00:16:56How are those flights treating you?
00:16:58They were good.
00:16:59Um...
00:17:00Not Bahama Mama good, but they're not bad.
00:17:03Yeah, I came by last night and...
00:17:05You were here?
00:17:06Only for a second.
00:17:07You were throwing and I didn't want to bother.
00:17:09No, no, no.
00:17:09You should have said something.
00:17:11I was, um...
00:17:12I was looking forward to seeing you.
00:17:15Nick!
00:17:17Today's the day!
00:17:21You've always been so nice to me.
00:17:24You're a very kind young man.
00:17:25I want to give you something.
00:17:26I appreciate it.
00:17:28Thank you, Virgil, but that's not necessary.
00:17:30No, no, no.
00:17:31I want to.
00:17:32You're very kind.
00:17:33And I hope I'm not offending you.
00:17:35No, no, no.
00:17:35You're not offending me.
00:17:36I'm just in the middle of something, so...
00:17:38Great, because you're very kind and I want to give you something.
00:17:41Come here.
00:17:43I am here.
00:17:44No, closer.
00:17:44It's a secret.
00:17:48Closer.
00:17:51What I want to give you, I'm not offending you, am I?
00:17:54Not with anything you've said.
00:17:56Good, because you're very kind.
00:17:59What I want to give you, it's about this big.
00:18:03And it's real.
00:18:04At least it feels real.
00:18:06I'm sure I'm not offending you.
00:18:07Um, I don't...
00:18:09I don't think so.
00:18:10I don't know.
00:18:11Well, a famous actor buddy of mine I met on Point Break.
00:18:15He gave this to me back in the 90s.
00:18:17I think he paid a fortune for it then.
00:18:19And it's real.
00:18:21Like I said, I mean, it feels real.
00:18:23And it's got real hair on it and everything.
00:18:27And I used to use it all the time.
00:18:29But I'm getting older and stuff.
00:18:32And I can't really get it going anymore.
00:18:35So now I want you to have it.
00:18:39Um, no.
00:18:41I don't think so.
00:18:43Do you understand what I'm trying to give you a hand?
00:18:45Yeah, I think I do, but I'm not...
00:18:47You're making a big mistake.
00:18:48This once belonged to...
00:18:50Jesus Christ, Virgil.
00:18:51No one wants your old, used, death trap of a pocket.
00:18:53Okay.
00:18:54Thank you, Ian.
00:18:57I'm sure you don't want it.
00:18:58Ugh.
00:19:02Make some noise!
00:19:03Come on!
00:19:05Representing the United States of America,
00:19:08the challengers!
00:19:10Let's hear it for Jules,
00:19:12the Dutch Dragon Van Doggen!
00:19:14And Chucky plays Paleo!
00:19:16Here at Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:19Chucky!
00:19:20Jules!
00:19:21Jules!
00:19:22Jules!
00:19:23Make some noise for these guys!
00:19:24Come on!
00:19:25Let's hear it!
00:19:26Everybody say, oh yeah!
00:19:28Yay!
00:19:29Hey!
00:19:30I bet you the bar tab, they don't make it to a third game.
00:19:35And from Manchester, England, ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:39the defending nine-time world champions,
00:19:43the undisputed masters, my friends.
00:19:45They're going for the record tonight.
00:19:46They're going for number 10.
00:19:48You think they can do it?
00:19:49Well, ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Nicky,
00:19:52the Manchester Moller, Galleon,
00:19:55and Lance Prettybar, Galleon.
00:19:57The Galleon Brothers, let's hear it!
00:20:04Woo!
00:20:10Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
00:20:11and welcome to tonight's World Darts Championship match.
00:20:14I'm joined in the booth by the one and only
00:20:16former national champion himself, Sean Grafton.
00:20:18Welcome aboard, Sean.
00:20:19Thanks a lot for having me, Dirk. Glad to be here.
00:20:21Absolutely.
00:20:22So, do you have any thoughts on tonight's match?
00:20:24The Americans are going to have a tough road ahead of them.
00:20:26The Galleon Brothers are the best team in the world,
00:20:28and have never lost a single game to Jules and Chuck.
00:20:30They have a tough road indeed.
00:20:32Do you have any advice for them?
00:20:33I would tell the Americans,
00:20:34since there's a lot of bad blood between the two teams,
00:20:36just to relax.
00:20:37Don't let the Galleon Brothers get under their skin.
00:20:39Sounds like good advice.
00:20:40Well, let's go down to the Yaki as the match is about to begin.
00:20:44Hey, do we get free drinks in the booth,
00:20:46or do I have to bring my own?
00:20:48Gentlemen, shake hands and shoot well.
00:20:51Uh-huh, for fuck's sake.
00:20:54You two mugs again.
00:20:55America is fucking huge.
00:20:57There's got to be somebody better than you two from sea to shining sea.
00:21:01You would've beat your assholes and he'll decide if you didn't cheat.
00:21:03Who the fuck needs to cheat to beat you two tossers?
00:21:05What do you call messing around every time we're with the board?
00:21:07Okay, okay, fellas.
00:21:09Go back to your tables and let's play some darts.
00:21:14You know, I haven't thrown darts in about a month.
00:21:20This one's for your mums.
00:21:23And this one...
00:21:24He just hit a triple 20 without even looking at the board.
00:21:27Then a triple 19.
00:21:28This last one...
00:21:28He can't possibly hit the 18-2, can he?
00:21:31Oh my God, he did it!
00:21:33He threw a white horse without looking.
00:21:35That's even more amazing than Jordan's no-look free throws.
00:21:38It's unbelievable.
00:21:40Where's my drink?
00:21:41That was amazing.
00:21:43I'm telling you they're the best ever.
00:21:49It's gonna be impossible to overcome that amazing turn at the Aki.
00:21:54Let's go!
00:21:55We're gonna be releasing our Greatest Dits album before you throw a dart.
00:21:59Why don't you show some sportmanship and let me take my turn?
00:22:01Hey, pull that shit again like you did in Germany and I'm gonna kick your ass.
00:22:05I'm gonna make it to you.
00:22:09Let's go for it.
00:22:10What?
00:22:10The Gallions have completely taken the wind out of their sails.
00:22:16a single 17
00:22:22oh is this some kind of a joke this is the best your country is to offer
00:22:27the bad blood continues
00:22:31just threw a punch at lance oh it looks like he may have hit jewels
00:22:34broke my nose what the hell just happened fuck your nose i broke my diamond
00:22:42drinks the match has been cancelled the match has been cancelled
00:22:46this is the first world darts championship that's going to be a no decision
00:22:49it's unbelievable i've never seen anything like it
00:22:51there's still time to get my drink and uh do we start to pay
00:23:07what in fuck is wrong with you can't you see we're creating
00:23:10we have a problem you're about to have a bigger one when i shove this base up your ass
00:23:18what do we get wilkins and williams
00:23:22uh there's hoober and michaels no piss off
00:23:27why do we have to play any of these twat waffles anyway
00:23:30cuz we are trying to bring this sport to america and if you want to be global stars
00:23:35if you want to sell out your music tour here and get minted then we need a championship
00:23:41match where you don't start a fight and insult the entire nation
00:23:45well i'll feel sorry for them if that's the best day out
00:23:47because those two are a couple of muggy bitches
00:23:50see that's exactly what i'm talking about
00:23:54and by the way we're sick of playing forking cricket
00:23:57you threw exactly three dots at cricket what are you talking about
00:24:03this was just delivered for the gallium brothers
00:24:05and the man said it was urgent
00:24:08it's probably another love letter from emma watson
00:24:13boy is he still here
00:24:14no he left immediately
00:24:16what does it say
00:24:19i have something you want
00:24:21you have something i want
00:24:22if you want a chance to win back the only trophy you ever lost
00:24:26then
00:24:29we found our team
00:24:30dark side of the moon
00:24:35they're a level c pub team you'll destroy them
00:24:39i know
00:24:39it's bloody perfect
00:24:53hey
00:24:54how much uh
00:24:55how much dough you got in the bank
00:24:58not a lot
00:24:58why
00:25:02is everything okay
00:25:03yeah
00:25:04oh yeah
00:25:05just curious
00:25:06it's
00:25:10it's
00:25:11come on in
00:25:12it's ladies
00:25:14day
00:25:14first drinks on the house
00:25:17yeah
00:25:18come sit down
00:25:19i'll tell you about the time i had dinner with the president of bachua
00:25:23i think we're in the wrong spot
00:25:25no no no no no this is the right spot
00:25:28we can throw in a second round too
00:25:32oh you know they just texted it they're at the ritz
00:25:36oh great let's go
00:25:38whoa wait come back we can do a third round
00:25:42what the hell virgil
00:25:43what'd i do
00:25:48i thought that third round might
00:25:50hi i'm looking for hank fuller and austin turner
00:25:55uh i'm hank and this is austin
00:25:58who are you
00:25:59some sort of bill collector
00:26:01no
00:26:02i'm lester harrison
00:26:04chairman of the championship darts corporation
00:26:06oh crap i think i forgot to send in our dues
00:26:09this isn't about that
00:26:11this is something much different
00:26:12i'm here to offer you boys the opportunity of a lifetime
00:26:16how would you like to play the galleon brothers for the darts championship of the world
00:26:24what is this some kind of joke
00:26:26no this is completely on the level
00:26:28after the no decision last night we've decided to give an unknown team a shot at the title
00:26:34and we've chosen you
00:26:38why picture this
00:26:40an unknown team comes from nowhere with a shot at the greatest title in the world of darts
00:26:50think of what it will do for the sport for every little kid who ever picks up a dart and
00:26:55dreams that maybe one day they too can be a world champion
00:27:00we could pay anything to play
00:27:03no but one hundred thousand dollars goes to the winner
00:27:09we'll do it
00:27:10we'll do it
00:27:10wait a minute
00:27:11wait a minute
00:27:12wait a minute we're not gonna win a hundred thousand dollars
00:27:14we can't even beat mitch and dana these guys are gonna destroy us
00:27:17oh yeah of course they are
00:27:18well it's gonna be a massacre
00:27:20who cares
00:27:21this is what we've been looking for hank
00:27:24the promo for the bar
00:27:26it's gonna be on the bar
00:27:27it's gonna be on tv right
00:27:28see
00:27:29this is amazing
00:27:30we can wear our pub t-shirts for the whole country to see
00:27:32talk to the beachers
00:27:34see they'll do an article on us
00:27:35i don't know get on the radio
00:27:36talk about the match
00:27:37promote the bar
00:27:39this is amazing bro
00:27:40austin
00:27:41i'm hank
00:27:43hank
00:27:43your mate is making a lot of sense
00:27:46what do you say gentlemen
00:27:48hell yeah
00:27:48we're in
00:27:53awesome
00:27:55all right
00:27:57let's get started
00:27:58a decade later i can say
00:28:12finally broke the scale
00:28:17to every rule that comes to quit
00:28:23remind me where i've been
00:28:27oh
00:28:32don't stay
00:28:56all right guys guys it's coming on
00:29:05it looks like there's been a shake-up in the world of darts
00:29:07in an unprecedented move the championship darts corporation has chosen
00:29:12dart side of the moon an unknown michigan city team to play for the world darts championship
00:29:18do we know what city in michigan they're from
00:29:21michigan city indiana
00:29:24anyways the match will take place this saturday at 8pm here at uptown social
00:29:28you can catch it here live but if you'd like to go down and share on the underdogs in person
00:29:31you might want to get there early because this one probably won't last long
00:29:35good luck fellas
00:29:37that sucked
00:29:41well i should get back to the shop
00:29:44but i thought it was great
00:29:48hey jackie um
00:29:51do you want to come to the match on saturday
00:29:54they're going to destroy us and it's going to be really embarrassing but
00:29:57it would be cool to have you there
00:30:00um
00:30:01i bought a ticket the moment you told me about it
00:30:13are we going to make complete fools of ourselves on national tv
00:30:16yeah you will
00:30:18unless you do exactly what i say
00:30:20what happened to you
00:30:23you want a chance to win
00:30:25win what
00:30:26the world dart championship hank
00:30:28we're not trying to win
00:30:30they're the best ever don't be ridiculous
00:30:31they are not the best ever but with that attitude you will make asses of yourself
00:30:35do you think we actually have a chance to beat them
00:30:38i know this
00:30:39if i teach you and coach you
00:30:41you will not go on national television and look like complete morons
00:30:48i don't know what we're going to do in a few days
00:30:50we're certainly not going to get any worse
00:30:52you besides
00:30:52we should try to be our best right
00:30:54we're going to be shooting on national tv
00:30:56playing with shirts with michigan city and the pub on them
00:30:59we can't show up like we don't give a shit right
00:31:04all right
00:31:04all right
00:31:05let's get to work we got a lot to do
00:31:08now
00:31:08now
00:31:12can we get some more drinks here
00:31:14yeah sure
00:31:14what are you doing
00:31:16gonna go get some drinks
00:31:17no no no no we're training
00:31:19what about our customers
00:31:20it's not my problem
00:31:22find a solution now
00:31:24now
00:31:26well i guess we don't need any drinks
00:31:28hold on
00:31:30i think of an idea
00:31:32what about
00:31:34you think
00:31:36he's always here anyway
00:31:39yeah sure why not
00:31:41hey virgil
00:31:43you want a
00:31:44job
00:31:46doing what
00:31:47attendant bar
00:31:47we can't pay much
00:31:49and you're gonna make crappy tips
00:31:50but
00:31:50okay
00:31:51have you ever attended bar before
00:31:53i mean i used to own the most popular bistro in paris
00:31:56we had
00:31:57all right all right let me show you a few things
00:31:58no that's okay i got it
00:32:09i didn't know you had a neighbor
00:32:10hey
00:32:11for you monsieur
00:32:13oh
00:32:14a vodka martini extra dirty and a zorn after two
00:32:44i did not see that coming
00:32:47it's like watching a horse ride a bike
00:33:05the five things it takes to be a great dart player
00:33:08number one how to stand at the occhi
00:33:11occhi is the line you throw the darts from
00:33:13why don't you say the line
00:33:14because it's called
00:33:15an occhi
00:33:18your feet should be a foot to a foot and a half apart
00:33:20your weight
00:33:21balanced upon your front leg
00:33:23with the line from the 20
00:33:25through the bullseye
00:33:27to the middle of your foot
00:33:32yep
00:33:32your back leg behaves as a kickstand
00:33:35you should be comfortable
00:33:37and relaxed
00:33:39comfortable
00:33:40are we relaxed
00:33:43gentlemen i can't tell you how concerned i am
00:33:45as to whether you're comfortable and relaxed or not
00:33:49number two how to throw away darts
00:33:50i know how to throw
00:33:51shut up
00:33:52arm raised at a 90 degree angle your forearm completely straight
00:33:57aim
00:33:57draw back
00:33:59fire and follow through
00:34:02ideally there should be as little movement as possible
00:34:08good do that a couple thousand times
00:34:10a thousand?
00:34:10a couple thousand
00:34:12while i watch
00:34:14fellas i am going to teach you as my father taught me
00:34:18with hard work respect and dedication for the game
00:34:22when i am done with you you will know darts
00:34:25better yet you will know yourselves
00:34:29i will make you dart throwing machines
00:34:32i will also make you
00:34:34gentlemen of the sport
00:34:46people are laughing at us
00:34:48yeah they are you look ridiculous
00:34:50get used to it
00:34:52Hank
00:34:53you can't hit bullseyes when you're all alone at home
00:34:56what do you think is going to happen
00:34:58when you're at the world dart championship
00:34:59there's a huge crowd of people there
00:35:01and tv cameras pointed directly at
00:35:04holy shit
00:35:05holy shit is right
00:35:06which is why i want you guys to do two things for me
00:35:09number one no drinking before the match
00:35:10whoa whoa whoa whoa
00:35:11no drinking correct
00:35:12you mean while we're throwing
00:35:14no i mean no drinking
00:35:15but what about when practice is over and
00:35:18i said no drinking period
00:35:19hold on but i like to wind down after a long time
00:35:21then get harvey wallbanger to coach you
00:35:28at number two
00:35:29i got a task on this piece of paper
00:35:31that i want you to complete before the match
00:35:35whoa whoa whoa whoa i didn't say stop throwing
00:35:37get back to the hockey
00:35:40as little movement as possible right
00:35:41little movement as possible
00:35:43towel off too you both look like pigs
00:35:51you sure this is what he meant
00:35:52what is said on the piece of paper
00:35:54it's crazy it's a practice sport
00:35:56it's gonna take us forever to finish the game
00:35:58i know but we said we'd do it so
00:36:00let's do it
00:36:02do we have to do it like this
00:36:05i don't know
00:36:07but we're here so
00:36:08bro
00:36:09what happened you both always lose a bet
00:36:13i don't know
00:36:14fuck this i'm out of here
00:36:15yep
00:36:15thank god
00:36:18austin
00:36:19what
00:36:21austin
00:36:32number three
00:36:34strategy
00:36:35we must always stay one step ahead of our opponents
00:36:38they close one number we close the next
00:36:41they go for points we go for more
00:36:44we never play their game
00:36:47and we wait for them to make the one little mistake that allows us to bounce and defeat them
00:36:59hank the hammer
00:37:01number four
00:37:01you gotta have a cool nickname
00:37:03it is pretty cool
00:37:05yeah because you're not being called a tosser
00:37:27i'm trying
00:37:29okay
00:37:30ah
00:37:34give me a number
00:37:36seventeen
00:37:37i'm trying
00:37:37triple cut of teeth
00:37:38triple cut of teeth
00:37:38got it
00:37:41okay
00:37:42lower
00:37:47nope
00:37:47nope
00:37:48i'm leaving
00:37:50austin
00:37:50nope
00:37:52austin
00:37:58i don't know what to do i tried everything
00:38:00hank what's your favorite number to throw at
00:38:04anything besides the bowls
00:38:05no i mean what's your favorite number every dart player has a favorite number
00:38:09i like 18s
00:38:10okay
00:38:11do you think you can hit
00:38:13eighteen
00:38:14in that circle
00:38:17i think so yeah
00:38:18all right let me see
00:38:21good
00:38:21now the next time you throw aim at that dart just use it as a marker
00:38:30okay
00:38:30yeah i see that but the 18s are easy it's the bowls i can't hit
00:38:34yes you can
00:38:36the bullseye is a circle one and a half inches in diameter it's actually one of the larger landing areas
00:38:42on the board
00:38:42it's just an optical illusion
00:38:46that space you just hit all those 18s is the same size as the bullseye
00:38:52if you can hit those 18s you can hit the bulls that's all there is to it
00:38:57now throw at the bulls but in your mind just imagine that big open space where you hit all those
00:39:0218s
00:39:10what's up
00:39:11what's up wait
00:39:12just an 18 right
00:39:14breathe
00:39:15picture the 18 and throw
00:39:31awesome did you see that way to go man that's how you do it one on a three is not
00:39:37gonna cut it
00:39:38so let's get back to work i can tell you this the gallium brothers are taking this
00:39:42more seriously than you guys are
00:39:53so then i thought is it a gift from evan to know that we're going to die
00:39:59right
00:40:00yeah well you should probably just see is that an umbop tattoo on your wrist yeah but it's pronounced
00:40:08student ball love yeah i'm pretty sure it's umbop no it's umbop anyway why do you have a
00:40:15tattoo of a terrible song on your arm terrible song are you fucking kidding me have you ever
00:40:21listened to the lyrics yeah don't they just say umbop over and over again no love it's a song
00:40:27about relationships and getting older losing your hair and and flowers it's like the beatles when i'm
00:40:3764 or shakespeare or yates it's fucking poetry down here listen to this can you tell me
00:40:49oh no you can't because you don't know can you tell me you say you can but you don't know
00:41:01can you tell me oh which flower is gonna grow no i can't because you don't know
00:41:12can you tell me whether it'll be a daisy or a rose
00:41:18say you can but you don't know
00:41:24yeah umbop is still a terrible song
00:41:26it's umbop
00:41:29i didn't finish telling you the lyrics
00:41:31lastly and most important number five release the pressure
00:41:40at all times we want to be calm relaxed and in focus
00:41:46my father would say that when he was in the zone everything else in the world would go away
00:41:51it was just him his darts and the dartboard
00:41:57don't let anything rattle you we respond we do not react and remember
00:42:06breathe
00:42:15you are
00:42:17there we go
00:42:21what do you want what do you want
00:42:23bullseyes it's time for bullseyes
00:42:35bullseyes
00:42:37bullseyes
00:42:48bullseyes
00:42:58Hey.
00:43:03How's it going?
00:43:05I'm on my way to training.
00:43:07I just wanted to come by and see you real quick.
00:43:09Great.
00:43:11How are you holding up?
00:43:12Big matches tomorrow.
00:43:14Yeah.
00:43:14It's crazy, right?
00:43:16You're still coming, aren't you?
00:43:18Of course.
00:43:18I'm so excited.
00:43:20And just think, pretty soon, you're going to be world champs.
00:43:24I don't know about that.
00:43:26Hey, hey.
00:43:28Good luck tomorrow.
00:43:29We're all watching and rooting for you.
00:43:31Thanks, man.
00:43:32See?
00:43:33Well, what I was going to say is, I don't know if we'll win,
00:43:37but if we can at least make it go to three games, that would be amazing.
00:43:41No, you're going to win.
00:43:42And when you do, you better not forget about us.
00:43:46Impossible.
00:43:49You guys have worked hard.
00:43:51Come a long way.
00:43:52Now there's just one thing left.
00:43:54What's that?
00:43:56Play me in a game of darts.
00:44:01Shoot well, gentlemen.
00:44:10Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:44:18Show me your red is frozen, I'll show you one redder.
00:44:26Tell me your dirty joke, and I'll laugh it off lightly.
00:44:34If I tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me.
00:44:43Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:44:50And if you wait, you know me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:44:58Because I'm saving mine up for a very, very special day.
00:45:06When I can fuck it all up in the most spectacular way.
00:45:15Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:45:22And if you're waiting on me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:45:29And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.
00:45:32When you're next to make one big mistake.
00:45:34Sorry about that.
00:45:35No, no, it's worth it for his quick.
00:45:38And if you're waiting on me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:45:44Hey, hey, hey, hey, you're going to have to wait.
00:45:47Because I'm saving my money for a very, very special day.
00:45:52What the matter is, it's only a matter of time.
00:45:56We don't love you in the most spectacular way.
00:46:03Show me the best you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:46:08All right, tomorrow I'll pick you guys up before the match.
00:46:13We'll go over everything, make sure you're in the right frame of mind.
00:46:20Oh, and, uh, I don't think I'm proud of you guys or anything.
00:46:31Can you believe we just beat Ian?
00:46:33Bro, we might have a chance at winning tomorrow.
00:46:36Yeah.
00:46:38Excuse me?
00:46:40Hey.
00:46:41Sorry to interrupt.
00:46:42Can I talk to you for a minute?
00:46:44Yeah, sure.
00:46:45Yeah.
00:46:45Yeah.
00:46:46It's a good time.
00:46:54Hey, Virgil.
00:46:55You, uh, do me a favor.
00:46:58So I got you something for the match tomorrow.
00:47:01You did?
00:47:02Yeah, it's not much, and you don't have to use them if you don't want to.
00:47:05But I just thought, turn it around.
00:47:13This is great.
00:47:15Uh, I'm definitely going to wear this tomorrow.
00:47:18And one for Austin.
00:47:27He's going to hate it.
00:47:29It's great.
00:47:31And I didn't know if Ian had a nickname, so...
00:47:37Yeah, that's...
00:47:40That's him.
00:47:41That'll do it.
00:47:44Of course.
00:47:48So, uh, where'd the name Good News come from?
00:47:51My grandparents were collectors.
00:47:54They used to take me on these long drives where we'd go to these little shops and they'd find these
00:47:58great pieces.
00:48:00My grandmother used to find a piece she loved and say, well, here's some good news.
00:48:06I always got a kick out of that.
00:48:08That's cute.
00:48:10So what about you, Hank?
00:48:11Was it always your dream to own a bar and play the World Darts Championship?
00:48:17No.
00:48:17No, not even close.
00:48:19Um, the bar's been in the family forever, but it's sat empty for years.
00:48:24And then after Mom died and me and Austin moved back, we were like, hey, let's get the old pub
00:48:31up and running again, so...
00:48:32So you and Austin...
00:48:34The half-brothers.
00:48:35Different dads.
00:48:36Huh.
00:48:37I didn't know that.
00:48:39Hey.
00:48:41Ooh.
00:48:42Do you have a few minutes?
00:48:44Sure.
00:48:44What's up?
00:48:45I want to show you something real quick.
00:48:47Here, come on.
00:48:48Everywhere I go
00:48:51All of the signs point to you
00:48:55Like something divine
00:48:57And I hope this is forever
00:48:59There ain't no way
00:49:01Who is that?
00:49:03That is Jay.
00:49:05He's great, right?
00:49:06Amazing.
00:49:08How did I not know about this?
00:49:11It doesn't publicize it.
00:49:12It just does these little impromptu shows,
00:49:14and if you're in the know, you get a little alert when one's happening.
00:49:19It's pretty cool, right?
00:49:21Very cool.
00:49:22Can I be in the know?
00:49:26I think we could work something out.
00:49:27What life was like before you
00:49:32Everyone knows that I've been falling apart
00:49:37So then, what is your dream, right?
00:49:41It's supposed to be love
00:49:43What?
00:49:45You can tell me.
00:49:46It can't be that bad.
00:49:49I've always wanted to do that.
00:49:53Sing?
00:49:57Sing something for me.
00:49:58No.
00:49:59Why not?
00:50:01It makes me nervous.
00:50:04Why?
00:50:05I don't know.
00:50:06It's just you're up there all alone,
00:50:08and people are staring at you.
00:50:09It's just...
00:50:11Well, you gotta try.
00:50:13Close your eyes.
00:50:15Picture everybody in their underwear.
00:50:17Have a Bahama Mama or two.
00:50:19You'll be great.
00:50:23You're gonna sing for me one day, Hank Fuller.
00:50:26Hmm.
00:50:28After all this training we've been doing with Ian,
00:50:31I've been thinking about giving it a shot.
00:50:34I'm gonna hold you to it.
00:50:35Baby, I believe in destiny.
00:50:40It's meant to be.
00:50:42Everywhere I go.
00:50:46All of the signs come to you.
00:50:51I saw the divine and all...
00:50:54Oh, his voice was so good.
00:50:56Of course.
00:50:57I'm glad it came up, you know?
00:50:59And I'm in the know now, right?
00:51:01Officially, yeah.
00:51:02Okay.
00:51:02I'll hold you to it.
00:51:03Hey, do you want to come up for a glass of wine?
00:51:06I don't have the stuff to make at Bahama Mama, but...
00:51:10Sounds good.
00:51:11Cool.
00:51:23Is Austin here?
00:51:26Austin?
00:51:28He's probably sold the bar.
00:51:30Wow.
00:51:32Great place.
00:51:33Did you design it yourself?
00:51:36Yeah, pretty much.
00:51:38Um...
00:51:39TV and dark wood are Austin's.
00:51:45Can I use your bathroom?
00:51:47Yeah.
00:51:48Yeah, let me show you where that is.
00:51:51Here you go.
00:51:57Did you see me?
00:51:58No, I think so.
00:51:59Okay, look, what do we do?
00:52:01Should we stay?
00:52:02We should go.
00:52:02Oh, my God.
00:52:05Okay, I'm so sorry.
00:52:06Let's just head out.
00:52:07Pretend like this never happened.
00:52:11Egg?
00:52:13Yeah?
00:52:14Is that...
00:52:15Is that you?
00:52:16Yeah?
00:52:18Okay.
00:52:20Uh...
00:52:21I'll be out in just a minute.
00:52:25I'll see you at the match tomorrow.
00:52:28You're gonna be great.
00:52:30Yeah.
00:52:41Whoa.
00:52:43Dude, are you okay?
00:52:46Sorry about that.
00:52:48Um...
00:52:48I've just been a little bit stressed and...
00:52:51I've just tried to blow off some steam.
00:52:54By getting herpes?
00:52:55Dude, Virgil has been using that thing since the 90s.
00:52:58I know.
00:53:00I've hit an all-time low.
00:53:02What are you stressed about?
00:53:04Dude, we're gonna be great tonight.
00:53:05It's not about the match.
00:53:07It's...
00:53:07What?
00:53:08I could help.
00:53:09What is it?
00:53:09No.
00:53:10No, no, no.
00:53:10I got it.
00:53:11I got it.
00:53:13I tell you, I sure could use a drink right about now.
00:53:15Ian said we have to do exactly as he says.
00:53:17If you drink from that...
00:53:18He's not gonna know.
00:53:20Yeah, but I will.
00:53:25Look, I...
00:53:27I gotta...
00:53:28I gotta throw this thing away.
00:53:30Carrying around a bag full of shame.
00:53:33I'm gonna go for a little walk and collect my thoughts.
00:53:37We can talk about this when I get back.
00:53:40Cool?
00:53:42Cool.
00:53:43Sure.
00:53:44Yeah, but Austin, seriously, man.
00:53:46Um, don't go out drinking.
00:53:49We have a chance tomorrow.
00:53:50You saw what happened tonight.
00:53:51We beat Ian.
00:53:52He let us win.
00:53:57God damn it.
00:53:58That's not what I, um...
00:54:02I'm sorry.
00:54:03I'm gonna get rid of this and...
00:54:06I'll just be right back.
00:54:39Do you want a walking partner?
00:54:41Excuse me?
00:54:43Do you want a walking partner?
00:54:45It's just you're there and I'm here and it's that weird sort of awkward thing and I just figured, well,
00:54:49that's silly.
00:54:50You know, we may as well walk together.
00:54:52Yeah, sure.
00:54:53Where are you headed?
00:54:54Do you know where Holloway Drive is?
00:54:56Uh, you sure you're in the right neighborhood?
00:54:59I have no idea.
00:55:01I just moved here and, um, I was meeting some coworkers and I can't find the street.
00:55:06And I keep texting them, but nothing and I'm so lost.
00:55:11Yeah, I've never heard of it.
00:55:13You tried Googling it?
00:55:14Yeah, I did, but nothing came up.
00:55:16I just drove down here.
00:55:17I figured this is where all the cool spots in town seem to be.
00:55:21They are, but, uh, I don't know.
00:55:24I grew up here.
00:55:25I've never heard of that before.
00:55:26Um, sorry.
00:55:28I-I-I wish I could help you out.
00:55:30I just...
00:55:31Ah, it's fine.
00:55:33I'll just see them on Monday and figure something out.
00:55:38I-I could...
00:55:39I could walk you back to your car if you'd like.
00:55:43That'd be nice.
00:55:44Thanks.
00:55:47It's in the bag.
00:55:49Ah!
00:55:50Ah!
00:55:51What the heck is that?
00:55:52It's-it's nothing.
00:55:54Uh, that was nothing.
00:55:55That was, um, that was my little brother, so I was just throwing away for him.
00:55:59So, and, uh, now it's gone.
00:56:02You're acting really strange.
00:56:04Was that a, uh...
00:56:05No, that was-that was nothing.
00:56:08That was definitely nothing.
00:56:09It's gone, so...
00:56:15Um...
00:56:16So, uh, how long you lived here?
00:56:18About a week.
00:56:20Wow.
00:56:21You are new.
00:56:22I am.
00:56:24Where'd you move from?
00:56:26Santa Claus.
00:56:27Santa Claus?
00:56:29Mm-hmm.
00:56:29Okay, now you're just-you're-now you're just messing with me.
00:56:32Oh, honestly, it's a small town.
00:56:34Oh, no, I know all about Santa Claus, Indiana.
00:56:37I just never met anybody from there.
00:56:39Yeah, that's the way I am.
00:56:40Really?
00:56:41Yeah.
00:56:42Holy shit.
00:56:43You have no idea how excited this makes me.
00:56:45Why is that?
00:56:46I don't know.
00:56:47I've always just had a thing for those...
00:56:50little Indiana towns with weird, funky names, you know?
00:56:53Mm-hmm.
00:56:54Like mudsop.
00:56:56Hey, that's a good one.
00:56:58Um, carefree Indiana.
00:57:00Toad hop.
00:57:02Hardscrabble.
00:57:03Bee hunter.
00:57:04Goddamn, you're good at this.
00:57:05Um, okay.
00:57:07Now, if you want to get a little spicy, there's the famous French-like Indiana.
00:57:11Mm-hmm.
00:57:11Mm-hmm, keeping on the spicy theme, there is booty.
00:57:15Booty?
00:57:16Yeah, you know, it's spelled like Buddha.
00:57:18You know how the rest of the world would pronounce it.
00:57:20But this being Indiana.
00:57:22Nice.
00:57:23That's hilarious.
00:57:24Um, okay, now one of my personal favorites.
00:57:27Floyd's knob.
00:57:31Pocket punani.
00:57:33Pocket?
00:57:34What?
00:57:35No, that was-that was my little brother's, I swear.
00:57:38I hope for your sake it was, because that did not look good.
00:57:41No, I've-honest.
00:57:45Well, this is me.
00:57:46Oh.
00:57:47It's been nice.
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:51Do you want to get a drink?
00:57:56A drink?
00:57:58Uh, yeah.
00:58:00Are you nervous?
00:58:02Never.
00:58:02Me?
00:58:06Ah, thank you very much.
00:58:08Looks great.
00:58:12Yeah.
00:58:18It's weird.
00:58:20But it's-
00:58:21Well, I've-I've been in this place a bunch of times,
00:58:23and it's always packed.
00:58:26Makes you feel like everybody knows something you don't.
00:58:29Hmm.
00:58:30Maybe it's just one of those kind of nights.
00:58:33What kind of that?
00:58:34The unexpected can happen.
00:58:40Can I ask you a-a serious question now?
00:58:44Sure.
00:58:45You sure?
00:58:45Yeah.
00:58:46Okay.
00:58:48Have you noticed how much the Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis?
00:58:53What?
00:58:53No, it doesn't.
00:58:55Oh, you don't believe me?
00:58:56No, it doesn't.
00:58:57Okay.
00:59:00Just take a look at this, please.
00:59:05That's insane.
00:59:07That's crazy, right?
00:59:09How come more people aren't talking about this?
00:59:11I don't know.
00:59:13You know what?
00:59:14I think it-
00:59:15That's up to us now to start getting the word out about it.
00:59:22So what do you do?
00:59:24I own a bar.
00:59:26I own a bar with my-my little brother, Hank.
00:59:28Oh, the one with the, uh...
00:59:32Jeez, yes.
00:59:33Yeah, yeah.
00:59:34That's the one.
00:59:37You're not gonna believe this.
00:59:41Uh, he and I are playing for the World Darts Championship tomorrow in Chicago.
00:59:48You're right.
00:59:48I don't believe you.
00:59:49There is no such thing as the World Darts Championship.
00:59:52What?
00:59:52Yes, there is.
00:59:54It's a real thing, and we're playing in it tomorrow.
00:59:57It's gonna be on TV and everything.
00:59:58Seriously?
00:59:59Yeah.
01:00:01Wow.
01:00:03That's nuts.
01:00:04I mean, that's amazing.
01:00:05You must be pretty good.
01:00:07Yeah.
01:00:13Well, let's drink to that, then.
01:00:16Cheers.
01:00:25Come on, man.
01:00:26It's your phone.
01:00:32I screwed up.
01:00:34I told him you let us win the match yesterday.
01:00:37Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:40I've just been so stressed out lately.
01:00:45The bar's in terrible shape.
01:00:47We're barely hanging on.
01:00:49This apartment, I mean, everything, it's all tied together.
01:00:53To lose it all.
01:00:55I've been so stressed out lately, I even used Virgil's fake hoo-ha.
01:00:59I know.
01:01:00I know.
01:01:01It's disgusting.
01:01:04Hank, he doesn't, he doesn't know about any of this.
01:01:07Well, he knows about the hoo-ha.
01:01:10That was embarrassing.
01:01:13He doesn't know about the rest, you know?
01:01:16They've just come so far.
01:01:19Let's go find them.
01:01:20Okay.
01:01:23That's okay.
01:01:24Come on.
01:01:31Just the guy I wanted to see.
01:01:33Why?
01:01:33Have you seen Hank?
01:01:34Nope.
01:01:35I finally got my check.
01:01:36You gotta be shitting me.
01:01:38I told you.
01:01:39If it weren't for me, it would have been a damn refrigerator.
01:01:42Well, then, Virgil, I guess you deserve that money.
01:01:46Hey, do me a favor.
01:01:47If you see Hank, have him get in touch with me immediately, please.
01:01:49Sure thing.
01:01:50Everything okay?
01:01:51I don't know, man.
01:01:52We're about to find out.
01:02:01Hey.
01:02:02Here for some last-minute supplies?
01:02:04No, I, uh...
01:02:07Uh...
01:02:08Where is he?
01:02:09I was hoping you might know.
01:02:13You know, he really...
01:02:17Well, you're the first place to look.
01:02:24I don't think.
01:02:25I don't mean to put this on you
01:02:29But I don't know what I would do
01:02:34If you was to leave me the truth
01:02:37Is I can't live without you
01:02:42Without you
01:02:42I don't know where I would go
01:02:47I don't know where I would go
01:02:50I just would not be myself
01:02:54I don't need nobody else
01:02:59I don't need nobody else
01:03:21Cause I don't need nobody else
01:03:26We have a love that is true
01:03:30Cause I came there with it now, yeah, I'll show
01:03:36Why'd you leave?
01:03:41I'm not kidding.
01:03:44These guys are the best in the world and I can't even hit a bullseye when I'm at home by
01:03:47myself.
01:03:50I started to believe we could win, too.
01:03:56You can't hit a bullseye?
01:03:58Is that a joke?
01:04:02What do you mean?
01:04:04You hit one every moment of every day with me.
01:04:08You've never not hit a bullseye, as far as I can tell, Hank.
01:04:12You're just a bullseye kind of guy.
01:04:19Look how far you've come.
01:04:23There's a champion inside you.
01:04:26That's what I see.
01:04:29Now go show the world what the Hank Fuller that I know can do.
01:04:38Thanks.
01:04:39No, don't like me.
01:04:41When you win, you owe me a song.
01:04:48I'll see you at the match.
01:04:50Wouldn't miss it for the world.
01:04:59I mean, if he doesn't get here soon, he'll be here.
01:05:07Sorry, I'm late.
01:05:08You're my brother, Hank.
01:05:09You don't apologize to me.
01:05:11I'm just glad you made it.
01:05:12Oh, by the way, I didn't drink last night.
01:05:16And I was wrong.
01:05:17Ian didn't let us win the match.
01:05:19Right?
01:05:21I don't know if you drank last night or not.
01:05:23But if you did, I'm going to kick your ass.
01:05:26And yeah, I didn't let you guys win.
01:05:27You guys played great.
01:05:29Now, why don't we show these boys how we do things on this side of the pond?
01:06:19Hold this and stand to the ocular.
01:06:24What's that say?
01:06:25Uh, seven feet, nine and a quarter inches.
01:06:29Now, hold that at the bullseye.
01:06:33Now, what's that say?
01:06:34Five feet, eight inches.
01:06:36Exactly right.
01:06:37It's the same dartboard you guys have been throwing at the whole time.
01:06:40They don't change any rules for the world championship.
01:06:44Cool?
01:06:45Cool.
01:06:45All right, let's go warm up.
01:06:49Guys, wait a second.
01:06:51What's that?
01:06:52They didn't even bother to change the banner.
01:06:58That's okay.
01:06:59After tonight, they're never going to forget your names.
01:07:18Ladies and gentlemen, let's get started.
01:07:22I'm going to introduce the winner.
01:07:25Everybody say, oh yeah.
01:07:28Oh yeah.
01:07:30Oh yeah.
01:07:30Oh yeah.
01:07:33Oh yeah.
01:07:54And from Michigan City, Indiana.
01:07:59We got you rolling.
01:08:01Right here from Michigan City, Indiana,
01:08:04Hank the Hammer.
01:08:06And Tom, Austin Turner, baby.
01:08:09Dark Side of the Moon.
01:08:12I hear you guys say, oh yeah.
01:08:16Oh yeah.
01:08:17So good for you, baby.
01:08:19You're so good for you.
01:08:30Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
01:08:32and thanks for joining me and my partner in the booth,
01:08:34Sean Grafton, for tonight's World Darts Championship.
01:08:37What are your thoughts, Sean?
01:08:38First off, I just want to apologize for the joke
01:08:41I made last week about, you know,
01:08:43having a drink in the booth.
01:08:44That's just silly dart humor,
01:08:45and I really didn't mean anything by it.
01:08:47Not a problem.
01:08:48I doubt anybody took that seriously.
01:08:49So, thoughts about the match?
01:08:52One word, bloodbath.
01:08:54These guys from a pub league in a little town in Indiana
01:08:56have no chance.
01:08:57Two games to nothing,
01:08:58I doubt they even score a single point
01:09:00against the Giants.
01:09:01Well, there you have it, folks,
01:09:03from the former champ himself.
01:09:05Let's go down to the hockey
01:09:06as the match is about to begin.
01:09:14Hey, my name is Ian.
01:09:15I coached outside of the moon.
01:09:18Good luck, man.
01:09:19You're gonna need it.
01:09:20Do you have our trophy?
01:09:21I think they only give you that if you win.
01:09:24You guys got what I want?
01:09:25What, an apology?
01:09:26What do we owe you a fucking apology for?
01:09:28What you said about my father.
01:09:31Hey, I'll get it out there.
01:09:33Hey.
01:09:34Yeah.
01:09:34Hey, who's our old man?
01:09:37My father is Alistair Whitman.
01:09:40And now I wish you guys good luck.
01:09:42Because you're gonna need it.
01:09:46Wait, so is he really your dad?
01:09:48Stay focused.
01:09:48Finish warming up.
01:09:55Did you hear that?
01:09:56Did I just hear that Alistair Whitman is his father?
01:10:00That's what it sounded like to me.
01:10:02If that's true, does that make any difference in tonight's match?
01:10:05No.
01:10:06They still have zero chance to win.
01:10:10Tonight's game is the best of three match.
01:10:12The first team to win two matches is the champion.
01:10:15Now the standard CDC rules apply,
01:10:16and the Galleon brothers won first to throw.
01:10:19Are you ready, gentlemen?
01:10:21Then shake hands and shoot well.
01:10:24Shoot well.
01:10:25You two's are punching way above your weight.
01:10:27We've been told to be nice and play a soft little game and make it look good.
01:10:31So play along, or I'll send you both home in a fucking ambulance.
01:10:35And here you go.
01:10:36We want you to be the first to have this.
01:10:38A CD.
01:10:39Great.
01:10:41Hold on.
01:10:41This is our name.
01:10:42And now it will always be remembered as a title of our first album.
01:10:47You're welcome.
01:10:49I don't want that piece of shit record.
01:10:51Yeah, I might check it out.
01:10:52That'd be cool, right?
01:10:53What?
01:10:54Hey, hey, can I see that thing for a second?
01:10:57Get the fuck out.
01:10:58What are you doing?
01:11:00I'm looking for my friend.
01:11:02Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:03They're going to throw your darts for you?
01:11:05Why don't you guys get your heads in the game?
01:11:15They're not even going for points.
01:11:18Oh, Whitehorse.
01:11:19He threw a Whitehorse.
01:11:23Screw them.
01:11:24You know what to do.
01:11:25They're not taking Darkseid seriously.
01:11:27They just went in.
01:11:28Well, let's see how Darkseid responds.
01:11:34Trouble 17.
01:11:37Trouble 16.
01:11:38Okay.
01:11:39Trouble 15?
01:11:41That's unbelievable.
01:11:42These boys came to play.
01:11:47Jesus.
01:11:54The DJ's own my pussy.
01:11:57The DJ owns my pussy.
01:12:02Woo!
01:12:04Hold the blind to that, didn't you?
01:12:16Austin's turn to the hockey much for shaking Nicky up, because he only hit two 20s.
01:12:20What the fuck was that?
01:12:23Here we go.
01:12:23This is our chance.
01:12:25Go for points.
01:12:25Close out 20s, 19s.
01:12:27We got it.
01:12:43Hank only manages 34 points.
01:12:46Sorry about that.
01:12:48We're still in.
01:12:49Come on.
01:12:50Come on.
01:12:54Lance closes the 17s and 16s.
01:13:01Austin closes the 20s and 19s.
01:13:03We should have gone for points in the 15s.
01:13:05His coach won't be happy about that.
01:13:08Nicky closes the 15s and lands a bullseye.
01:13:12So we're 18.
01:13:14It's just the 18s.
01:13:16It's okay.
01:13:22Hank is only able to get one bullseye.
01:13:24We needed a bunch of them to keep them in this.
01:13:26Well, whatever your name is, you're just little chakaree cracks under pressure, aren't you?
01:13:31Get your notebook, laddie.
01:13:33Shout out what's done.
01:13:38Guy in Brothers 1, Dark Side of the Moon, 0.
01:13:41Just as I predicted, Dirk.
01:13:42Folks, if you have those dinner reservations in 20 minutes, you're not going to miss them.
01:13:48I'm killing this guy, son.
01:13:49I'm sorry.
01:13:50I'm going to tell you something my father told me about darts, but it applies to everything in life.
01:13:55You have to believe right here, right now, that you're as great as any dart team that ever was or
01:14:01ever will be.
01:14:02But you have to believe that.
01:14:05Hank!
01:14:05Hank, hey, how's the match going?
01:14:08Uh, it's terrible.
01:14:10We lost the first game.
01:14:11I, um, I couldn't concentrate.
01:14:14Well, I think it's because I had to get you these.
01:14:22So you weren't lying.
01:14:26Hey, you made it.
01:14:28You kidding?
01:14:29I had to see this with my own eyes.
01:14:32What the hell is this?
01:14:33Let's throw some darts so we can get the hell out of here.
01:14:38I'll see you around, okay?
01:14:41Hey, don't go anywhere.
01:14:43I won't.
01:14:44I promise.
01:14:45You promise?
01:14:46I promise.
01:14:48But you have to promise me something.
01:14:50Anything.
01:14:51When?
01:14:57All right.
01:14:59You heard what the man said.
01:15:01Let's throw some darts.
01:15:03Let's go.
01:15:08This should be the final game of the match.
01:15:10I don't think Dartside can keep up with it.
01:15:18Lance is keeping the same strategy.
01:15:20Closing the 20s and 19s.
01:15:22Yeah.
01:15:22Let's see if Austin can answer like last game.
01:15:24Let's see if Austin can answer like last game.
01:15:32Fuck it.
01:15:35Whoa.
01:15:36Trouble 20.
01:15:38Trouble 19.
01:15:41Trouble 18.
01:15:42I didn't see that guy.
01:15:43It's like he said, you can't hit the white horse here.
01:15:46But I sure as shit can.
01:15:49Great charge.
01:15:54They're still not taking them seriously.
01:15:56Hank stepped up with Liaki.
01:15:57This is where the game has faltered in the past.
01:16:00Trouble 17.
01:16:01Trouble 16.
01:16:06Trouble 15.
01:16:08Wow.
01:16:09Wow.
01:16:09The Galleons are going to start taking them seriously now.
01:16:15Single bullseye.
01:16:17Double bullseye.
01:16:20And another single bullseye.
01:16:22Yeah, you see, now they're starting to score points.
01:16:26Austin could potentially close the game.
01:16:29He needs to shut down the bullseye first.
01:16:32Single bull.
01:16:36Double bull.
01:16:37He needs the trouble 16 or 15 for a miracle game.
01:16:42Dark side of the moon throws a perfect game.
01:16:44I cannot believe it.
01:16:45What an amazing display of darts.
01:17:15No one saw this coming, especially me.
01:17:23Lance Gallion hits three triple 20s.
01:17:25He's closed the 20s and scored 120 points.
01:17:28That was a magnificent start to the game.
01:17:38Trouble 19.
01:17:42Another trouble 19.
01:17:44The way these two are throwing, their coach may really be Alistair Whitman's son.
01:17:50Austin Turner hits seven 19s.
01:17:53Dark side of the moon are 76 points.
01:17:55Great response.
01:17:59Nicky hits the triple 19 and three 18s.
01:18:02As I thought, both teams are now playing a modern strategy.
01:18:10Hey, Fuller hits two triple 17s and a triple 20.
01:18:13Fantastic darts.
01:18:15They've now gone ahead with 127 points.
01:18:19Lance hits the triple 18 and three 17s.
01:18:22They've retaken the lead with 174.
01:18:25What a match.
01:18:27In Freddy Ball.
01:18:29And now they have the lead by one.
01:18:34Nicky finds four 15s.
01:18:35Giving them the lead with 189 points.
01:18:42They've again inched ahead with 191 points.
01:18:45This is like two heavyweight boxers giving everything they have in the final round of a title match.
01:18:51An incredible thing to witness.
01:18:53Lance lands a triple 15.
01:18:55Then finds two 16s.
01:18:56They're ahead with 234 points.
01:19:01Austin hits another triple 16 and closes the 15s.
01:19:04As they've regained the lead with 239 points.
01:19:10Blast heart just misses.
01:19:12Yes.
01:19:12But it landed in the 16, closing out that number.
01:19:15Meaning it all comes down to the bulls.
01:19:17To recap, the Galleon brothers have closed out the 20s through the 15s.
01:19:21And they've managed two bullseyes.
01:19:23They also have 234 points.
01:19:25Dart side of the moon has also closed out the 20s through the 15s.
01:19:28They have no bulls.
01:19:29But they are ahead with 239 points.
01:19:32Dart side of the moon needs three bulls.
01:19:33The Galleon brothers, too, to win the game and the match.
01:19:59The Galleon brothers, too, to win the game and the match.
01:20:02Hey.
01:20:04Hank.
01:20:05Look at me.
01:20:12So?
01:20:12Sorry.
01:20:13Oh, my God.
01:20:14I cannot stop thinking about how much a Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis.
01:20:20But hey.
01:20:21There's no pressure, man.
01:20:23We've already won.
01:20:53I can't stop thinking about how much a Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis.
01:20:54That does not look good.
01:20:56It's not good at all.
01:21:03It's virtually impossible.
01:21:05The dart is covering almost the entire double ball, which is what he needs to win.
01:21:12This shot was only made once, and that was by the greatest player to ever throw a dart.
01:21:49The Darts Out of the Moon wins!
01:21:51That side of the moon wins.
01:21:53They are the new darts champions of the world.
01:21:55We actually caught the darts in all my years.
01:21:58I've never seen that.
01:21:59This may be the greatest day in the history of this beautiful sport.
01:22:04We did it, bro.
01:22:06We did it.
01:22:06No.
01:22:07She won.
01:22:07Unbelievable.
01:22:08No, that shot was unbelievable.
01:22:10And we saved the bar.
01:22:12Wait, what?
01:22:13What are you talking about?
01:22:14Oh, dude, if we didn't win $100,000, we could have lost the place.
01:22:17Seriously?
01:22:18Yeah.
01:22:19The apartment, too.
01:22:20So, when were you going to tell me?
01:22:22Never.
01:22:23What the mother of Christ happened?
01:22:26I told you they'd never forget your names after tonight.
01:22:29Is that why you had us play in our underwear so we'd be ready for this?
01:22:34No, that had nothing to do with anything.
01:22:35I just thought that was funny.
01:22:37Is Alistair Whitman really your dad, or is that some bullshit to you?
01:22:40Hey, does it matter?
01:22:42No.
01:22:43No.
01:22:44No.
01:22:47Hey.
01:22:48That was for you, weirdo Mittens.
01:22:50Who knew darts could be so exciting?
01:22:52It's surprising, right?
01:22:53Yeah.
01:22:54You're going to have to show me how to play later.
01:22:56Gentlemen, I, uh...
01:22:58What the fuck do you want?
01:22:59I think we know what I want.
01:23:04For what?
01:23:06For everything.
01:23:07I couldn't have done it without you.
01:23:11Hey, I was wondering, do you think you and I could sometime, would you be interested?
01:23:18Good lord, Hank.
01:23:20Why do you think I have a little dart section in my otherwise beautiful shop?
01:23:25Yes.
01:23:27Yes, I would love to go out with you.
01:23:46Huh.
01:23:48Huh.
01:23:48So you're still saying it was Hank's fake vagina.
01:23:53Bugger roll.
01:23:54Hey, I'm, I'm gloating here, man.
01:23:56Is this some kind of a fucking joke?
01:23:58What?
01:23:59You're a fucking queer?
01:24:00Hey, if you got a problem with him, then you can...
01:24:01Hey, no, it's all good, man.
01:24:02I got this.
01:24:03Listen, man, I just learned...
01:24:05Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
01:24:06Look, all I wanted to say was, I'm a queer too.
01:24:09But up until now, I was the only one playing championship darts.
01:24:11You know what I mean?
01:24:12Welcome to the fucking game, mate.
01:24:14Your lads played well.
01:24:16And we won a fucking rematch.
01:24:23I also did not see that coming.
01:24:29Hey, now, where you going?
01:24:33You're going in, we got lots to see.
01:24:37Right now, the winds are blowing.
01:24:40We'll celebrate you, you and me.
01:24:44Hey, now, the songs are playing.
01:24:48But the music has let it be.
01:24:56Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:24:59All right, let's give it up to Virgil, everybody.
01:25:02Thank you so much, Virgil, for that wonderful rendition of Darling Nicky.
01:25:07Yeah, Prince was a good friend of mine.
01:25:10The original title of that movie.
01:25:11Yes, he was.
01:25:12Yes, he was.
01:25:13Thank you, Virgil.
01:25:14Another round for Virgil.
01:25:17All right.
01:25:27Um, never did this before, but, uh, it was the first time for everything, right?
01:25:32So, there goes nothing.
01:25:52I was a-losing his lost cause, you were misled by what you saw, but there we were tempted by
01:26:02fate and a half-empty blender.
01:26:06So, we drank it till the sun came up, told me that you only hung around to see if we
01:26:12could make it a night to remember.
01:26:20You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain.
01:26:24I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:26:27You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane.
01:26:31If you watch me, if I really wanna go there.
01:26:34You waited in your running car, so patiently outside the bar.
01:26:42A dark-born angel saving me from some bad decisions.
01:26:48Then you drove us to a parking lot somewhere out of the sticks to make some backseat memories.
01:26:56History with no need of revision.
01:27:02You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain.
01:27:06I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:27:10You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane.
01:27:13If you ask me, if I really wanna go there.
01:27:17If you ask me, if I really wanna go there.
01:27:20If you ask me, if I really wanna go there.
01:27:48You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain.
01:27:52I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:27:55You said, watch it now, boy, I'm gonna go insane.
01:27:59If you ask me, if I really wanna go there.
01:28:02You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain.
01:28:06I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:28:10You said, watch it now, boy, I'm gonna go insane.
01:28:13If you ask me, if I really wanna go there.
01:28:16You said watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:28:20I said baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:28:24You said watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go and stay
01:28:27If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:30If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:34If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:53If you ask me if I really wanna go there
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