- 2 days ago
Special Thanks to Princeton Vice for including us in this special.
Neo-Pulps! @Melevill @GraveMoodRings
Last Woman On Earth : Evelyn and her husband go swimming with their friend Martin during a vacation in Puerto Rico. When they surface from the water they realize there's been a temporary interruption in the world's supply of oxygen, killing all Puerto Ricans. Luckily, these 3 are rich American tourist, so nothing bad happens to them... or those it?
...
Melevill the shadow demon is the first Puerto Rican horror host, bringing a unique Boricua perspective to the genre. She hosts several shows in YouTube including Melevill's Hades Theater (2024), Melevill's Interviews From Hades, and Library of a Horror Hostess.
...
Sally the Zombie Cheerleader's School of Horror on YouTube is a show hosted by your favorite zombie horror host, Sally the Zombie Cheerleader. Join Sally as she attempts to explain B and Z films to a fiendish class from a zombie's point of view.
...
Professor Oddfellow is the ghostly host of Penetralia and one of the characters of the hit vampire sketch comedy series on YouTube 'Grave Mood Rings'.
Neo-Pulps! @Melevill @GraveMoodRings
Last Woman On Earth : Evelyn and her husband go swimming with their friend Martin during a vacation in Puerto Rico. When they surface from the water they realize there's been a temporary interruption in the world's supply of oxygen, killing all Puerto Ricans. Luckily, these 3 are rich American tourist, so nothing bad happens to them... or those it?
...
Melevill the shadow demon is the first Puerto Rican horror host, bringing a unique Boricua perspective to the genre. She hosts several shows in YouTube including Melevill's Hades Theater (2024), Melevill's Interviews From Hades, and Library of a Horror Hostess.
...
Sally the Zombie Cheerleader's School of Horror on YouTube is a show hosted by your favorite zombie horror host, Sally the Zombie Cheerleader. Join Sally as she attempts to explain B and Z films to a fiendish class from a zombie's point of view.
...
Professor Oddfellow is the ghostly host of Penetralia and one of the characters of the hit vampire sketch comedy series on YouTube 'Grave Mood Rings'.
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FunTranscript
00:08Harold, please don't.
00:09That won't solve anything.
00:12What's there to solve?
00:14You really don't see, do you?
00:18Harold, in the last world, you didn't give me a chance to find out where I belonged.
00:24You're not doing it in this world, either.
00:26I'll tell you where you belong.
00:30You're my wife, Evelyn.
00:32Harold, please.
00:35You're my wife.
01:00You're my wife.
01:40What's up?
01:42Where have you been?
01:45Heaven's been worried about you.
01:46I had a date.
01:47A blind date, actually.
01:50Damn it, Martin.
01:51Can't you ever be serious?
01:52I'm being perfectly serious, Harold.
01:54In fact, I'm even being honest.
01:58All right, Martin.
01:59Where's your date?
02:00It's just about 100 yards up the beach.
02:16Why did you do that?
02:18Send him up there?
02:19Oh, so I could see what he'd look like when he came back.
02:22So I could be alone with you.
02:24So he might get a little more sand in his shoe.
02:27Take your choice.
02:29I don't like any of those reasons.
02:31Can't help you.
02:33You dislike him more and more every day.
02:37He means well.
02:38I know.
02:40Well, why?
02:43Oh, I guess because he's either vain enough or stupid enough to think that it really matters what happens to
02:48us.
02:52I think maybe there's a little more basic reason than that.
02:56He has me and you don't have anybody.
02:58What do you have, F?
03:00Well, I'm sorry about that.
03:03But I never had anybody before.
03:06Yes, but before there was always a possibility.
03:08Well, there's still a possibility.
03:13But the truth of the matter is that I want someone just about as much as that girl down the
03:18beach wants someone.
03:19And that's not very much.
03:24Unless...
03:25Unless what?
03:26Oh, unless Harold here would get annoyed enough to try and kill me.
03:32What does that mean?
03:35It means I might know I'm not really dead yet.
03:38What's that mean?
03:40Oh, thanks.
03:40Oh, no.
03:43Oh, your god.
03:46Oh, my worth.
03:50Oh, my God.
03:59Oh, my God.
04:01Oh, my God.
04:02Oh, my Lord.
04:04Oh, my God.
04:06Oh, my God.
04:15I'm going fishing. I'll be back.
04:32What's new?
04:34Not much.
04:38Why aren't you fishing?
04:39I don't know.
04:42You see one fish, you've seen them all.
04:46Where are you going?
04:47Beach.
04:50Care to come along?
04:54Why not?
05:02How does the rest of it go?
05:06Beware the jabberwock, my son.
05:12The jaws that bite, the claws that catch.
05:19Beware the jump-jumper and shun the frumious bandersnatch.
05:26It's fun. I wish Harold could...
05:34Where will you be, ten years from the second?
05:38Running over ice blocks, chasing little gurns.
05:43Living in a guest igloo, I don't know.
05:47Will you be alive, ten years from now?
05:50I don't know.
05:52How could I?
05:54I don't want to believe that.
05:57Well, you didn't want to believe the world would end either.
06:02You don't want to now.
06:05Well...
06:06It's what I feel.
06:09I felt it end.
06:11And I'm married to somebody who doesn't insist upon my thinking about it.
06:16A thinking, period.
06:18That's marvelous.
06:20You think.
06:22You are the thinkingest man.
06:24Is that supposed to make me feel bad?
06:26And you ask questions.
06:31Questions.
06:33Questions.
06:35Questions.
06:35Questions.
06:37I think I'm going to erase you.
06:43I'm going to take my big toe.
06:46And wipe you out.
06:49Dare me.
06:53Double dare me.
06:56Seems I remember doing this before.
06:58Only then I didn't have so far to fall.
07:05Where are you now, Martin?
07:12Dare.
07:16Dare.
07:23If you hold them down, it'll help.
07:51Come out of the sun.
07:52Come out of the sun.
08:06Auld.
08:08Clear.
08:34It's lovely.
08:35You make a nice martini.
08:38Naturally.
08:39I was taught all the do's and don'ts of gracious living.
08:44I'm running out of finger food, Skelly Cat.
08:46What do I do?
08:47Huh?
08:48Oh, hi.
08:49We're back, Flushies.
08:50And the beach flirting has escalated
08:52into full-blown tropical canoodling.
08:55Yeah, Skelly.
08:56Hey, I'm eating.
08:57Oh, I call it.
08:59Blue chain.
09:00They sure have, Skelly Cat.
09:02Martin and Evelyn are on the beach getting all kissy face,
09:04while Harold is all fishing and radiating the vibes of a man
09:08who knows he's losing control of the narrative,
09:10and he does not like being edited.
09:14Now, Harold has been acting like the last days of Earth
09:16are his own personal management seminar,
09:19so naturally seeing Evelyn laugh and connect with somebody else
09:22sends him into a slow-boiled rage.
09:25And once again, let me just note,
09:27if there is only one fleshy woman left,
09:29I feel like everyone should be behaving
09:31with a little more maturity, maybe less chest-thumping,
09:34less possessive nonsense, and more,
09:36how do we not all die while Sally's freezer space increases?
09:41You know, at current levels, Sally's freezer situation
09:44is starting to look real apocalyptic.
09:47She's one empty container away from staring at us
09:49like we're our menu adjacent.
09:51Yeah, I knew it was bad when she started reorganizing
09:54the last shelf and muttering,
09:55we may have to be very creative.
09:57Not us!
09:58Not me!
10:01Stop that! I was not threatening anybody.
10:03I was making a perfectly normal undead contingency plan.
10:07And so the crisis begins.
10:11It really is.
10:12And I cannot stress enough
10:13how unready I am for this level of societal collapse.
10:17I planned for a spooky evening.
10:19Well, not for no more hugs for you, Sally.
10:23Jeez, my tummy is already growling.
10:25What do I do?
10:28Hey, Sally, don't hug me like that.
10:30I'm not on the menu!
10:31Stop it!
10:32Don't worry, skilly cat.
10:34You're all bones and fur.
10:35I wouldn't eat you.
10:37Yet.
10:39Anyway, surprise fists come out.
10:41Harold and Martin fight on the boat.
10:43They fight in the water.
10:44They fight on the beach.
10:46They fight in a box with a fox.
10:49Uh-oh, Sally's ripping again.
10:51Look out!
10:53Hey, I got caught up in a moment.
10:55Anyway, how is it that after all the moist, sandy quarreling,
10:59their hair and clothes look so dry and neat?
11:02I mean, Harold and Martin are out here flopping in saltwater,
11:05clawing at each other, rolling in the sand,
11:08and somehow both still look ready for a low-budget aftershave commercial.
11:14Apparently, the Caribbean sun tries back to the black eye, Sally.
11:20Apparently, anyway, their grooming is surviving better than civilization.
11:25Then Harold picks up a rock and clocks Martin with it,
11:28because, of course, the apocalypse eventually
11:30becomes caveman courtship with nicer shoes.
11:33And after nearly braining the man, Harold tells him to leave.
11:38Please take the extinction of it now.
11:41Exactly, Skellycat.
11:43Oh, before I forget, I've got to do this.
11:47And somewhere in the back of my mind,
11:50I'm still worrying about Meleville,
11:52because if Fretilico got hit like the rest of this movie suggests,
11:56I don't know.
11:57I just know that she is somewhere sword fighting the great apocalypse
12:00while I'm over here crying over an empty freezer.
12:05And I need to find out if this is all true.
12:08Anyway, I need to call and make sure she's okay.
12:12Well, I guess everyone can be all right, Skelly.
12:15Yeah, you're right, Skellycat.
12:17Mine is panic and yours is judgment.
12:19Now, be quiet.
12:20I've got to call Meleville to make sure she's okay.
12:22Hey, Kelly, it's a lot of numbers.
12:24I have to call long distance.
12:34Start sorting.
12:35Then we'll take another crack at it.
12:42I no longer see the reason for catching fish we'll never be able to eat.
12:48All right, Martin, what do you want to do?
12:51To look at many things, not just fish.
12:54What's the matter, Martin?
12:56You afraid if you look at a fish too long, you begin to look like one?
13:00Maybe, Harold.
13:01Maybe that's exactly what I'm afraid of.
13:05Boy, oh, boy.
13:07It's certainly a good thing the world ended when it did.
13:10Because you never would have made it, boy. Never.
13:13Made what, Harold?
13:14A millionaire?
13:16Money?
13:18Money and fish.
13:20Fish and money.
13:23Harold, if rotten money smelled like rotten fish, they'd have given you a bank to yourself.
13:29Yes, sir, Mr. Gern.
13:31The way you made your money?
13:33Stank.
13:34The way you catch fish?
13:36Stinks.
13:37And furthermore, Harold, you stink.
13:49Maybe through the paint.
14:00Maybe we catch fish, but there's a lot of things.
14:00And then, we're going to have to do so.
14:00I'm going to have to get you back for a few minutes.
14:00Let's just pick up.
14:00I'll have a week to go.
14:00Let's do something.
14:01I'll have a moment here.
14:01But we're going to get you back for a few minutes.
14:01I'll have to get you back.
14:02Oh, can I see you back in your mind?
14:29This is no game no more, boy.
14:32It's always a game, Hal.
14:35How is Evelyn?
14:37Nice?
14:39Not bad.
14:41But why not find out for yourself?
14:49That got to you, didn't it?
14:50Didn't it?
14:52Come on, let's see you laugh now.
14:54You're always mocking all the time.
14:56Mock now.
14:57You don't understand the meaning of decency.
15:00You laugh at it.
15:01Go to life.
15:02You think living is stupid?
15:05Well, why don't you try dying a little?
15:08You're leaving.
15:11You think that's funny?
15:13You'll be out of here in two hours.
15:16Where to?
15:19Take your choice.
15:22You mean you'd exile one third of the human race?
15:25I'd do better than that than I can.
15:27But you know why you couldn't, Martin?
15:31Because you don't have it in you to find a reason.
15:34Not yet.
15:41So he's leaving.
15:42And not just because of what he did to you.
15:45Did to me?
15:46Harold, Martin didn't rape me.
15:49That's enough.
15:50I don't want to hear about it.
15:53It's not just because of that.
15:55We had a balance here.
15:57We had a system.
15:58And he lost it up.
16:01Harold, I know you're hurt.
16:03But it never was his system.
16:05Or mine.
16:07Hurt.
16:08To begin with, when we first got here, I asked for suggestions.
16:12Neither of you had anything but smart remarks.
16:15Well, somebody's got to take the responsibility somewhere.
16:19Sure, you had a system and we had none.
16:21But we needed our own, Harold.
16:23Not yours.
16:24But you never had anything.
16:29Never have.
16:30Not when I met you.
16:31And not when I married you.
16:33Your system never really worked for me, Harold.
16:36With or without the world, your system's the same.
16:38It gives me everything but you.
16:42Your money is gone and what it meant is gone.
16:45And you've never really seen that.
16:47It meant me.
16:49And I'm not gone.
16:51And you never really saw that.
16:54I made that money.
16:56It didn't make me.
16:57And what it took to make, I've still got.
17:00Then use it.
17:01Use it to help.
17:03That's what I want to do.
17:04That's what I'm trying to do.
17:06And Martin?
17:08I'll help us by getting rid of him.
17:11Harold, Martin is part of us.
17:15I'm married to you, not to Martin.
17:18To hell with him.
17:30Where are you going?
17:32Out.
17:33What do you do?
17:35Nothing.
17:42What's that?
17:44A little headache.
17:48Do you mind going alone?
17:50No more than I mind going.
17:53Would you mind company?
17:56I won't stop you.
18:00Ask me, though, Martin.
18:02I need you to ask me.
18:04Look, Ev.
18:05I may not have much love for that man, but I couldn't do that to him.
18:09What?
18:10Leave him alone.
18:12Martin, he wanted you alone.
18:14I don't think he realizes what that means.
18:17Martin.
18:19All right, Ev.
18:20I do want you with me.
18:24We'll run around the world together.
18:26We'll take that yacht and set sail, okay?
18:29Really?
18:31Really.
18:33What'll I need?
18:35It's a come-as-you-are party.
18:40Evelyn?
18:41Evelyn?
18:42Evelyn?
18:42Evelyn?
18:43Evelyn?
18:45Evelyn?
18:47Evelyn?
18:48Evelyn?
18:51What's taking so long?
18:53Packing.
18:56You see Evelyn?
18:58Yes.
19:00Where?
19:02Here.
19:03Where is she now?
19:05She left.
19:09How's your eye?
19:11It still works.
19:13Well, when you're ready, I'll be down by the garage to see you off.
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