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00:00Is it possible to take responsibility and love someone like your parents, your partner or children
00:04without turning that love into responsibility, anxiety, fear and emotional burden?
00:09Love is not something that you can just randomly get into.
00:15And yet our relationships are founded on the body.
00:19The underlying assumption there is that this fellow is just a body
00:24so all that he needs is physical health, good food, good salary to take care of his material aspirations.
00:34Yes, obviously we want our parents to live long.
00:37But live long for what?
00:39Live long just to extend the age of the body?
00:42Is that the purpose of life?
00:44What will you do with a healthy body if inside the healthy body you are frustrated, restless, even suffering?
00:53Where is heart in this?
00:56Where is truth in this?
00:58I am asking you.
00:59If all I am thinking of is my own welfare, what will I use you or you for?
01:05I will use you just...
01:13Achari ji, I always see my parents getting worried about me, about my career, about my marriage.
01:19I also get worried about their health and about to live up with their expectation and to make them proud.
01:25So this sometimes create a sense of guilt in me if I hurt them in any way and a psychological
01:33pressure in me.
01:34So observing this, sometimes I conclude that I should not get married and have children
01:39because if I don't want to repeat the same cycle of attachment, emotional burden and anxiety.
01:47So is it possible to take responsibility and love someone like your parents, your partner or children
01:53without turning that love into responsibility, anxiety, fear and emotional burden?
01:59A parent worrying about kids' health and the kid that we are talking of is at least in mid-20s
02:10and the parent is looking at the kid as a body whose health needs to be taken care of.
02:18And then again, as a male body that deserves to get a meeting partner,
02:27therefore some kind of marital alliance needs to be arranged.
02:33Whether we are talking of the son's health or his marriage,
02:43the fact remains that the son is being looked at as a body.
02:51The parents are not looking at the son as a conscious entity.
03:01As someone whose primary need is the contentment of consciousness and liberation from bondages.
03:12The parents are failing to appreciate that.
03:18The underlying assumption there is that this fellow is just a body,
03:25so all that he needs is physical health, good food, good salary to take care of his material aspirations
03:36and a woman to take care again of his physical needs and maybe loneliness.
03:47Now, that can be one kind of relationship, but we all would obviously see that's not the right relationship.
03:58That's not the right relationship between parents and kids.
04:02That's not the right relationship between any two individuals.
04:07Even among friends, that is not the right relationship.
04:16On the other side, the son says,
04:19I am worried about my parents' health.
04:21That's noble.
04:22And obviously kids should be concerned about their parents' health,
04:27especially if the parents are aging and ailing.
04:32It is basic humanity to look after the physical requirements and health of your parents.
04:45That's fine.
04:46But is that all that is there to one's father or mother?
04:55When you call up your father, all that you want to ask is the heart rate.
05:00When you call up your mother, the first thing on your mind is the sugar levels.
05:08And even if that happens to be the first thing on your mind,
05:12maybe the diabetes is severe.
05:17Maybe the cardiac element is chronic.
05:23Does that need to be the first and only thing?
05:30Yes, obviously we want our parents to live long.
05:34But live long for what?
05:36Live long just to extend the age of the body?
05:41Is that the purpose of life?
05:42Yes, obviously, I'll want to ask.
05:46Did you get your checkups done?
05:48Did you visit the doctor in time?
05:53Mama, is Papa taking all the medicines regularly?
05:58Ah, some of the parameters in the report don't seem to be improving.
06:05Let's take him to a better hospital.
06:07Obviously, one would do that.
06:10Yes, obviously.
06:12But one should not stop at that.
06:18One cannot say, my job as a son is to ensure that my parents live long.
06:24Yes, they must live long.
06:25But more importantly, they must live deep.
06:31And that is something very missing from our cultural contexts.
06:41And then the question is, what will you do with a healthy body?
06:45If inside the healthy body, you are frustrated, restless, even suffering.
07:01When you grow up, when you are your age, 25, 30, something, the relationship between parents and kids have to
07:12be adult-to-adult relationships.
07:16And among adults, the best, the highest form of relationship is friendship.
07:27And when you meet your friends, you are not concerned about just their physical welfare.
07:33Are you?
07:34Are you?
07:36You would be a pretty strange kind of friend, if all that you keep asking your buddies is, is your
07:43headache okay?
07:46Are you keeping your weight in check?
07:49Are you eating right?
07:53You're taking timely baths.
07:54What kind of friendship would that be?
07:58Where is heart in this?
08:01Where is truth in this?
08:05Where is consciousness in this?
08:11I don't think I need to clarify
08:15that I am not against taking care
08:24of the physical well-being of those you are related to.
08:28That's basics, obviously.
08:31My contention is,
08:34as human beings,
08:35we are
08:38characterized
08:39by our consciousness
08:41rather than our body.
08:44How did you gain admission to this institute?
08:48by displaying your body?
08:52By showing off your muscles?
08:57Yeah?
08:59By parading your pretty self?
09:03Or did you have to demonstrate
09:06the power and purity
09:08of your consciousness
09:10to be
09:11the occupants of these seats in the first place?
09:15Please tell me.
09:17Yes, obviously,
09:19before
09:19you are allowed to enter,
09:21there would have been
09:22some physical checks as well,
09:23right?
09:26So,
09:27eyesight would have been checked
09:28and a few other things.
09:31But that's
09:32secondary.
09:33That's
09:33secondary.
09:36The first thing
09:37was the
09:37IITJ.
09:39IITJ gives two hoots
09:41to
09:41how you look,
09:43how tall you are,
09:45how pretty you are,
09:46how heavy you are,
09:48what your gender is,
09:49and many other things.
09:52All that the Jai cares for is,
09:55can you be sharp enough,
09:57insightful enough,
09:58attentive enough,
09:59disciplined enough,
10:03factual enough,
10:07because that's what matters
10:08in a human being.
10:11Among animals,
10:13obviously,
10:13that does not matter much.
10:17you go to
10:19these
10:20animal fairs
10:22where
10:23cattle
10:24are sold
10:25and bought
10:25in bulk
10:28and nobody
10:29is going to
10:30test the consciousness
10:31of a buffalo
10:32before buying
10:33or selling it.
10:34Right?
10:36What would you
10:37rather look at?
10:39The body
10:40of the buffalo
10:41or the bull
10:41or the ox,
10:42whatever.
10:43Right?
10:45Is that
10:45what we want
10:47to bring
10:48our relationships
10:48to?
10:49Just the body?
10:50Test the body.
10:51If you are physically good,
10:52then you are good.
10:54If you are physically good,
10:55then you are good.
10:56And that is not
10:57exclusive
10:58to the parent-child
11:00relationship.
11:01That is much more
11:02pervasive
11:03in the man-woman
11:05relationship.
11:07And how do we forget
11:08that it's the backdrop
11:10of the Valentine's Day
11:11in the campus?
11:13How do you look
11:14at the other gender?
11:16That's a very
11:16important question
11:17at your age.
11:20Just as a body?
11:25Yes,
11:26that's what
11:26we often do.
11:28Who is the other?
11:29Just a body.
11:30And if the body
11:31looks sexy,
11:32I would go
11:33after that person.
11:35And the person
11:38might be thoughtful,
11:40creative,
11:41compassionate,
11:45deeply conscious,
11:47yet if the person
11:48does not appear
11:50physically attractive,
11:53one feels reluctant
11:55in initiating
11:56a relationship.
12:00So that's the way
12:01we are operating.
12:02But if that's the way
12:03we are operating,
12:04that's very animalistic.
12:07That's the way
12:08animals relate
12:08to each other.
12:12you go,
12:13you look at
12:14a child
12:15and you
12:15immediately remark,
12:17oh,
12:17what a healthy child.
12:19What have you seen
12:19in the child?
12:20What have you seen
12:20in the child?
12:21Just the body.
12:24How do you know
12:25whether the child
12:25is healthy?
12:27The jails
12:28are full of
12:29physically healthy
12:30criminals.
12:37do you want
12:38to care
12:39just about
12:40the physicality
12:42and physical
12:42well-being
12:43and the physical
12:45attractiveness
12:46and the physical
12:47sustenance
12:47of the other
12:48and yourself
12:50or is there
12:51more to life?
12:53I'm asking you.
12:55Is love
12:56something of the body?
12:58Is creativity
13:00something of the body?
13:04Is compassion
13:06something of the body?
13:07Is courage
13:08something of the body?
13:12All that
13:13which makes
13:15life worth living
13:16is something
13:18a little
13:19beyond the body
13:21and yet
13:22relationships
13:23are founded
13:24on the body
13:26that doesn't
13:27quite add up
13:27does it?
13:29Yeah?
13:33Have I answered
13:34or do we need
13:36to be more explicit?
13:37If you can,
13:38sir.
13:39In what sense?
13:40Yes,
13:40come up with
13:40the remaining parts.
13:42So,
13:43like the second
13:44part of my question
13:44was that
13:45is it possible
13:46to love someone
13:47and take responsibility
13:48without turning
13:49that love
13:50into anxiety
13:51emotional burden
13:52fear
13:53expectations
13:53and if you
13:54can have
13:57care
13:58even
13:59worry
14:01about
14:02the other
14:02person
14:04provided
14:05it is
14:06honestly
14:07about
14:07the other
14:08person
14:11chances
14:12are
14:12by
14:14cleverly
14:15wording
14:15your question
14:16you are
14:18hiding
14:18the intent
14:19of the
14:20questioner
14:20when you say
14:22you are
14:22worrying about
14:23the other
14:23person
14:24is the
14:25worry
14:25really
14:26about
14:26the
14:26well-being
14:27of the
14:27other
14:29or is
14:30your own
14:31self-interest
14:32hiding in
14:33your worry
14:34please tell me
14:36if it is
14:37truly about
14:37the other
14:38and not
14:38about you
14:39then go ahead
14:40and worry
14:40as much
14:41as you want
14:41to
14:43most of
14:44the worry
14:45and anxiety
14:48and other
14:49neurotic
14:50conditions
14:50that you
14:51experience
14:51are not
14:52because you
14:53are very
14:54concerned
14:54about your
14:56friends or
14:56relatives
14:57or the
14:58country
14:59or the
14:59world
15:00or other
15:00species
15:01no no no
15:01we are not
15:03so selfless
15:05most of
15:06the worry
15:07that we
15:08experience
15:08with respect
15:10to others
15:11is the
15:12worry
15:13that comes
15:14with
15:15threatened
15:15self-interests
15:19once
15:19the object
15:21of worry
15:24ceases
15:26to be
15:27of value
15:28to your
15:28self-interest
15:29you will
15:30find that
15:30you are
15:30no more
15:31worrying
15:31about him
15:35kids say
15:36they worry
15:37so much
15:37about their
15:38parents
15:41but then
15:42old age
15:43homes
15:43are overcrowded
15:47kids worry
15:48about their
15:49parents
15:49often
15:50there might
15:51be exceptions
15:51fine
15:52often only
15:53as long
15:53as their
15:54own
15:56physical
15:57psychological
15:58or financial
15:59well-being
15:59is tied
16:00to the
16:01parents
16:01when the
16:02parents
16:03become
16:03old
16:04senile
16:05debilitated
16:06they are
16:07often
16:07thrown
16:08to the
16:09vridhasrams
16:12so is
16:13it the
16:13other
16:13that you
16:14are really
16:14worried
16:15about
16:15if
16:15yes
16:16then
16:16go ahead
16:17and worry
16:18as much
16:18as is
16:19needed
16:19please
16:20do that
16:22worry
16:22in itself
16:23is not
16:24a problem
16:24but
16:25self-centered
16:27worrying
16:28is definitely
16:29a problem
16:31self-centered
16:32anything
16:33is a
16:33problem
16:34not
16:35because of
16:35moral
16:36reasons
16:36but because
16:38it takes
16:38something
16:39away
16:39from
16:40what
16:40life
16:40can
16:41offer
16:41you
16:44getting
16:45it
16:46yes
16:46so
16:47dissociate
16:48these
16:48two
16:48things
16:50your
16:52own
16:52egoic
16:53interests
16:54and the
16:55real welfare
16:56of the
16:57other
16:57love
16:59is about
17:00being
17:01assured
17:02of one's
17:03own
17:04interests
17:05I'm
17:06all right
17:06I don't
17:08need to
17:08use the
17:09other
17:10as a
17:10means
17:11to plug
17:12my own
17:12hollows
17:14I'm
17:15all right
17:15as I
17:15am
17:17and
17:18being
17:19relieved
17:22of
17:23worrying
17:24about
17:24myself
17:25I
17:25can
17:26now
17:26actually
17:28pay
17:28attention
17:29to the
17:30condition
17:30of the
17:31other
17:32please
17:33think
17:34if you
17:35are
17:35worried
17:37about
17:37your
17:38own
17:39survival
17:41or
17:43fulfillment
17:43or
17:45desires
17:45if you
17:46are
17:46worried
17:46about
17:47those
17:47things
17:47can
17:48you
17:49truly
17:49love
17:50the
17:50other
17:50you
17:51will
17:51have
17:51no
17:51space
17:55you
17:56will
17:56have
17:56no
17:57stamina
17:58it
17:59would
17:59be
17:59impossible
18:02to
18:03do
18:03something
18:03for
18:04the
18:04other
18:04when
18:05your
18:05own
18:06self
18:06is
18:07crying
18:08for
18:08its
18:09unmet
18:09needs
18:12therefore
18:13love
18:13is not
18:14something
18:14that
18:15you
18:16can
18:16just
18:16randomly
18:17get
18:17into
18:20for
18:21you
18:21to be
18:22loving
18:22towards
18:22the
18:23other
18:23first
18:23of
18:24all
18:25your
18:26own
18:27internal
18:27insecurities
18:28must
18:29stand
18:32reasonably
18:33well
18:33addressed
18:36an
18:36insecure
18:37person
18:37cannot
18:38love
18:40a
18:41fearful
18:41person
18:42cannot
18:42love
18:45a
18:46greedy
18:46ambitious
18:47person
18:47would
18:48only be
18:48violent
18:49in the
18:49name
18:50of
18:50love
18:54we
18:54don't
18:55understand
18:56that
18:57word
18:57and the
18:58philosophy
18:58behind it
18:59therefore
18:59we
18:59often
18:59abuse
19:03it
19:04if
19:05all
19:05I
19:05am
19:05thinking
19:06of
19:06is
19:06my
19:06own
19:07welfare
19:07what
19:08will
19:08I
19:09use
19:09you
19:09or
19:09you
19:10for
19:12I
19:13will
19:13use
19:13you
19:14just
19:14as
19:15means
19:16for
19:17my
19:17own
19:18internal
19:18ends
19:18right
19:19how
19:20can
19:20I
19:21care
19:21for
19:21you
19:23when
19:24I
19:24am
19:24fighting
19:27an
19:28impossible
19:28war
19:30on
19:30the
19:31internal
19:31front
19:31all
19:32my
19:32resources
19:33are
19:34invested
19:35there
19:36I
19:36have
19:36nothing
19:37available
19:38to
19:38offer
19:38you
19:42you
19:43get
19:43this
19:45Achariji
19:45I
19:45have
19:46one
19:46follow
19:46up
19:46on
19:46this
19:46we
19:47cannot
19:47get
19:48freedom
19:48from
19:48the
19:48attachment
19:49without
19:49coming
19:50into
19:50relationships
19:50so
19:51even
19:51to
19:51get
19:52the
19:52freedom
19:52from
19:52the
19:53relationship
19:53we
19:53need
19:54to
19:54come
19:54into
19:54relationship
19:54relationship
19:55so
19:55could
19:56you
19:56please
19:56elaborate
19:56on
19:56that
19:57or
19:57maybe
19:57I
19:57got
19:58it
19:58wrong
19:58no
19:59you
19:59don't
19:59need
20:00to
20:00get
20:00into
20:01additional
20:01relationships
20:04there
20:05is
20:05nobody
20:05here
20:05who
20:06is
20:06not
20:06related
20:08just
20:09that
20:09the
20:09conventional
20:10definition
20:10of
20:11relationships
20:11especially
20:12in
20:13a
20:13campus
20:15pertains
20:16to
20:16a
20:17man
20:17woman
20:18relationship
20:20at
20:21the
20:21philosophical
20:21level
20:22if
20:22I
20:23hold
20:23this
20:23mug
20:24here
20:24this
20:25is
20:25a
20:25relationship
20:27in
20:27fact
20:27I
20:28don't
20:28even
20:28need
20:28to
20:28hold
20:29a
20:29physical
20:29object
20:32something
20:34in
20:35the
20:35mind
20:35in
20:35the
20:35form
20:36of
20:36a
20:36thought
20:36denotes
20:37a
20:37relationship
20:39so
20:39relationships
20:41don't
20:41have
20:42to
20:42be
20:42additionally
20:43manufactured
20:44they
20:45already
20:45exist
20:46who
20:46is
20:47not
20:47related
20:47if
20:48you
20:48are
20:48holding
20:48that
20:48Mike
20:49you
20:49are
20:49already
20:49in
20:49a
20:49relationship
20:51wearing
20:52those
20:52clothes
20:52you
20:53are
20:53in
20:53relationship
20:54sitting
20:55in
20:55the
20:55auditorium
20:55you
20:56are
20:56in
20:56relationship
20:58thinking
20:59of
20:59something
21:00anything
21:01a
21:01cricket
21:02match
21:02a
21:02politician
21:03anything
21:05there
21:06is a
21:06relationship
21:09now
21:10how
21:10does
21:10that
21:12correspond
21:13to
21:13freedom
21:13from
21:14attachment
21:19in
21:20your
21:20relationship
21:20you
21:22have
21:22to
21:23see
21:24the
21:24center
21:26you
21:27have
21:27to
21:27observe
21:28where
21:29that
21:29relationship
21:30is
21:30coming
21:31from
21:34when
21:35the
21:36ego
21:37operates
21:37as a
21:38void
21:38as an
21:39incomplete
21:39entity
21:42then
21:43it
21:43uses
21:44the
21:44other
21:44as a
21:45crutch
21:48it
21:49attaches
21:49to
21:50the
21:50other
21:52in
21:54the
21:55hope
21:56of
21:57some
21:57relief
21:58some
21:58security
21:59some
21:59stability
22:00that's
22:01attachment
22:04in
22:05attachment
22:05separation
22:06remains
22:06right
22:07two
22:07things
22:07have
22:07attached
22:08they
22:09haven't
22:10unified
22:10they
22:12haven't
22:12homogenized
22:13they
22:14are just
22:15externally
22:16attached
22:16to each
22:17other
22:17so the
22:18separation
22:19is maintained
22:20the
22:20individuality
22:22is
22:22maintained
22:24yet
22:25some
22:26kind
22:26of
22:27working
22:27relationship
22:28is
22:29struck
22:29in
22:31the
22:31hope
22:31that
22:32something
22:33would be
22:33obtained
22:34or extracted
22:35from that
22:36relationship
22:37that's
22:38attachment
22:38attachment
22:39is not
22:40love
22:40attachment
22:40is in
22:41fact
22:41almost
22:42the
22:43opposite
22:43of
22:43love
22:45in
22:46love
22:47there
22:47is
22:48unity
22:49love
22:50is the
22:51is the
22:52dissolution
22:53of separation
22:54the dissolution
22:55of the
22:55ego
22:55boundary
22:56in attachment
22:57the ego
22:58boundary
22:58always
22:59exists
23:04two blocks
23:05of metals
23:05kept in
23:06close contact
23:07for long
23:07will get
23:08attached
23:08to each
23:09other
23:09that doesn't
23:10mean that
23:11their boundary
23:12has vanished
23:14strike them
23:15hard with a
23:16hammer
23:16and you find
23:18they are
23:18separated
23:19again
23:20they are
23:21together
23:22only as
23:23long as
23:23external
23:24conditions
23:24are
23:24favorable
23:25the
23:27moment
23:27external
23:28conditions
23:33turn
23:34averse
23:35the
23:36attachment
23:36is
23:36lost
23:40right
23:41attachment
23:42is the
23:44most
23:45common
23:47characteristic
23:48of
23:48any
23:49relationship
23:49the
23:50ego
23:50can
23:51have
23:51therefore
23:53in your
23:54pre-existing
23:55relationships
23:57observe
23:58attachment
23:59and
24:00ego
24:00it is in
24:02this
24:02observation
24:03that you
24:05might
24:05find
24:07that you
24:08are into
24:09something
24:09that is
24:09needless
24:12I never
24:13said that
24:14you need
24:14to
24:17go out
24:18and
24:18hunt
24:20for
24:20additional
24:21relationships
24:22you are
24:23already
24:23saturated
24:24with
24:24relationships
24:24additional
24:25ones
24:26are not
24:26needed
24:28you have
24:29to
24:29be honest
24:30about
24:31what you
24:31already
24:31have
24:34just
24:35download
24:35Dachar Prasanthi
24:36and there
24:37you go
24:37to the
24:38community
24:38section
24:39and you
24:40have
24:41live
24:42testimonials
24:43streaming
24:44in at
24:44the rate
24:45of one
24:45every five
24:46minutes
24:46I'm
24:47seeing
24:47lives
24:47change
24:48in
24:49thousands
24:49if not
24:50millions
24:51every
24:51day
24:51in front
24:52of my
24:52own
24:52eyes
24:52we are
24:52doing
24:53it
24:53we have
24:53actually
24:54done
24:54it
24:54join
24:55the
24:55community
24:56of
24:56more
24:56than
24:56two
24:57lakh
24:57participants
24:58on the
24:58Acharya Prasanth
24:59app
25:00your first
25:01month is
25:01completely
25:02free
25:02you'll get
25:03full access
25:03to
25:04Gita
25:04mission
25:04on the
25:05app
25:05you will
25:06get
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25:10with Acharya
25:11Prasanth
25:11access to
25:12the vibrant
25:13Gita
25:13community
25:14wisdom
25:15exams
25:15curated
25:16news
25:17audiobooks
25:18quotes
25:19and much
25:19more
25:20search
25:21Acharya Prasanthi
25:22Google Play Store
25:23or Apple App Store
25:24and download now
25:34subscribe cho kênh
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