- 12 hours ago
The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 7 - Episode 12: Uncivil in Seville
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00:15Previously on The Real Housewives of Miami.
00:18Lisa, did you ever unfollow my ex-boyfriend?
00:20No.
00:21You used to follow Pip, and now you follow Jordan.
00:23You're a groupie.
00:24What?
00:24It's all good.
00:24She called me multiple names.
00:26What is she?
00:26I wrote it down.
00:27You've been writing down what she's saying?
00:28Yep.
00:28You're taking notes?
00:30Yes, I am.
00:30Don't worry about it too much.
00:32If she's going to act like an asshole,
00:33we're not going to treat her nice and respond.
00:35Exactly.
00:35Literally, everyone at this table said,
00:37you're not the greatest friend.
00:39You're speaking for everybody?
00:40Yes.
00:43Shodi texted me?
00:44Yes.
00:45She had to block him because he wasn't stopping texting.
00:47I blocked it on my phone.
00:48What?
00:49Oh, my God.
00:50It's not there.
00:51Wait, what?
00:51Wait, what?
00:52Whoa!
01:00I don't need this shit in my life.
01:01I don't want to be friends with her anymore.
01:02I didn't know that.
01:03I didn't know this.
01:03I just don't know what he wants from me,
01:05and I don't want to be a part of it.
01:06So Jodi texts me this.
01:08I'm trying to let it all drop, but you seem not to want to.
01:11Let this fight go like we have been trying to do.
01:15I said, I've never in my life said anything rude to you, like, ever.
01:18If you don't understand that, Jodi, you're a psycho.
01:21Like, that's not cool.
01:23This is like Delulu.
01:25She's a fucking shits to her, okay?
01:27I don't...
01:27Okay.
01:28That killed me.
01:29Okay.
01:30Okay.
01:30Well, there's a situation.
01:32What?
01:32The situation is that Jodi has been sending her texts all afternoon, so she's upset.
01:38Marisol, there is a legal motion going on.
01:40We got to take care of this first.
01:43Oh, my God.
01:44Affidavit.
01:45They said I need to sign it in an hour.
01:47Oh, what happened?
01:47Oh, God.
01:48And then we deal with that tomorrow.
01:50Those are the messages that Jodi was sending to Larsa when Larsa was asking him to stop.
01:55This is crazy.
01:57Why is Jodi texting Larsa?
02:01Nobody's significant other should be texting any lady.
02:03He feels like he needs to stick up for Lisa and fight for Lisa.
02:07And you see, ladies, that's the problem.
02:09We can't tell our men too much because then they're damned if you do and you're damned if they don't.
02:13Right now, let's help her with the paper she needs to get back to the attorney for her kids.
02:17Can we just stop and please go back to dinner?
02:19You know, I'm going to take care of my problems over there, okay?
02:21Larsa, can you please go back to dinner?
02:23I want to get off the ride.
02:25I'm so sorry.
02:26I'll be right back, okay?
02:27I don't want this, okay?
02:29Larsa, there's two separate issues.
02:31Jodi should not be texting you.
02:33And then there's Lisa with lawyers and her children.
02:37It's been going on for three years.
02:38Every day is the worst day of my life.
02:40Hey, she wasn't at the dinner yesterday and today the dinner is all about her.
02:43You called the dinner yesterday fun?
02:44No, yesterday's dinner was fun.
02:46We had a good time.
02:47Oh, Lord have mercy.
02:49From the time we sat down, it's like, do you have a notary?
02:51Do you have this?
02:52Can you get this?
02:53Like, it's like, it changed the whole dynamic.
02:55It's true.
02:56It's true.
02:56It's true what she's saying.
02:57Don't kill the vibe for the rest of us.
02:59We're here to celebrate.
03:00What a bitch.
03:03Bitch.
03:05Like, what the fuck?
03:06Leave me alone.
03:08Notary first.
03:09Let's go to another place over there.
03:10I got, you know, let's go to a more quiet place.
03:12We're here to focus on what's important right now.
03:15My darling, this is a walk in the park to other situations that I have been in the midst of,
03:21such as a groom saying no at the altar.
03:24The groom has said no at the altar.
03:26The groom has said no at the altar.
03:28Please confirm.
03:30Easy.
03:31In my sleep.
03:32Come on, Lisa.
03:33Let me help you, girl.
03:34We're going to sit here and get this done.
03:36I just feel like I'm paralyzed like a cat.
03:38Like a scaredy cat right now.
03:39No, no, no.
03:39It's okay.
03:40You can only make important what's important to you.
03:43Right now, this is your children.
03:45This is your life.
03:45This over there is going to wait.
03:47I just don't believe you have an hour.
03:48That's my thing.
03:49Alexa, you know how men play games.
03:54Babe, Lainey's knows she's here.
03:56If Todd comes for you and you need a third, leave Todd out of it.
04:00Y'all are you talking about Todd?
04:02Just leave him out of it.
04:05Okay, we're not talking about Todd anymore.
04:07I know that word is not allowed.
04:09Now you know it's not just for you.
04:11It's for everybody.
04:11I can no longer meet any more Todd.
04:14You know, it just doesn't come out anymore.
04:16If all this is going on in Lisa's life, she's about to lose her kids.
04:19Why is Jody sending you a text?
04:21Why is he helping her?
04:22I can't.
04:23Jody, it's Gertie.
04:24Hi.
04:25Gertie's going to help me, so.
04:26Yeah, but Lisa, I think you have until 5 p.m. Eastern, which is an hour and six minutes
04:31from now.
04:31Okay.
04:32There is a girl named Giselle.
04:33I think she's an online notary like you've done before.
04:39Yeah.
04:40Then she's going to webcam with you or whatever, and don't do it that way.
04:43But Lisa, don't get yourself too wrapped up in these little fights and stuff like that.
04:46I can show you all the text.
04:48Jody, let me talk to you.
04:49Jody, Jody's Gertie.
04:50Jody, baby.
04:51Jody's Gertie.
04:52So with Larsa, do not even engage any longer.
04:55Forget her number.
04:55Do not text her directly.
04:56Not a good look at all.
04:58Don't text her.
04:58Yeah, yeah.
04:59Now I just feel the need to make sure she gets into this military some more.
05:04Exactly.
05:05That's my focus as well.
05:09You know why I went to Mass today?
05:16Why?
05:17Because I can't deal with this.
05:18I'm sensitive.
05:19I think this is in my heart.
05:21I can't deal with this anymore.
05:22Adriana, go sit on that side of the corner, please.
05:24Go sit over there and cry.
05:26Why?
05:27Go sit in that corner.
05:27All you're doing is making excuses for someone's bad behavior.
05:31I understand Larsa might be tired of dealing with these issues that Lisa has had for the
05:36past two years.
05:38I can't take anymore.
05:39I'm telling you, when people hurt, I feel it.
05:41But yet, I do not appreciate people who gang up on someone.
05:46I've been there myself, and it didn't feel good.
05:49These girls are extra mad.
05:50Oh my God.
05:52Nobody sends you a paper and says, sign it right now.
05:54Nobody.
05:55Where is Lisa?
05:56So she's on the phone legally.
05:57Talk to me.
05:58Let's talk about Stephanie's outfit.
06:00Yeah!
06:01Oh my God.
06:02Stephanie, you're not going to kiss me after this.
06:04Oh my God.
06:05You're going to kiss me after this.
06:06Stephanie, you're about to go back on your plane?
06:08Julia, Julia, Julia.
06:10I will not kiss you, Julia.
06:12Even Larsa's done it.
06:13I am like the biggest crude you'll ever meet.
06:16Give me all the cheeks.
06:17I won't.
06:17No.
06:18I have a red doesn't count.
06:18So I'm done?
06:19Everything's good?
06:20Yes.
06:21You're done.
06:21Okay.
06:21I'm done.
06:21This is a major, major life moment.
06:25I am getting divorced and I'm on a girl's trip at a dinner with a crazy lady yelling at me,
06:32making it about her.
06:33All signed.
06:34Woohoo!
06:35Yay!
06:35Okay.
06:35I'm so happy for you.
06:36My babe.
06:36Thank you so much.
06:37I'm just grateful to have at least two of my friends really be there for me.
06:42Oh, you actually.
06:43Oh, here comes Larsa.
06:44And Rihanna.
06:46Monkey, everything's solved.
06:48Everything's solved.
06:49Great.
06:50So, all right.
06:51Let's have a little chit-chat.
06:54So, what's the problem?
06:55Why don't you tell me what the problem is?
06:57I don't know.
06:57I've been dealing with legal stuff.
06:58Your boyfriend is texting me things that he shouldn't be texting.
07:03This is the harassing text message that Jodi sent to Larsa.
07:08Larsa, stop.
07:09I don't want this fight.
07:10You can't point at the sky and tell me it's not blue.
07:14Larsa, listen, I don't want to argue with you.
07:16Clearly, we're not on the same page.
07:18What fight?
07:18Have a good night.
07:19Jodi, we don't need to be on the same page.
07:22It's in the past if you'll let it go.
07:25Why were you involving him?
07:27I've never involved him.
07:28No, no, no.
07:28Your boyfriend is the one that involved himself when we were in Milan.
07:32He said to me, you're the one that had the paparazzi take the photo of him in the south of
07:36France.
07:36And I said, me?
07:38What am I, the CIA?
07:39And that's what started it all.
07:40You're acting like a victim right now.
07:42I'm acting like a victim?
07:44She has quite the talent for spinning things so she can look like the victim.
07:48She is the villain.
07:50You're disgusting.
07:51You're elected.
07:51Can you tell her to shut up?
07:52You're just going to make it worse.
07:53The way that you're both feeling right now, we're just going to keep on snapping at each other.
07:57He yelled at me in the elevator, babe.
07:59Victim.
07:59Oh, this happened to me.
08:00That happened to me.
08:01I have a yeast infection.
08:02This happened to me.
08:03Like, it's, like, nonstop.
08:04Did you just say yeast infection?
08:06Yeah, she has that, too.
08:07Lisa.
08:11I saw you taking notes.
08:12No, I just take notes for myself.
08:14Like, I always, I take notes like a student.
08:16Right.
08:16The names that she called me.
08:18She called me a groupie.
08:20She called me a groupie.
08:22Lisa, I can't.
08:24Stop calling her monkey because she's going to take notes.
08:26Do you have a note about me?
08:27No, not yet.
08:29Really?
08:30You know why I take notes?
08:32Because of my divorce.
08:33I learned you have to take notes about everything.
08:35But now when you have a conversation with your friends.
08:38It's very smart.
08:38You should all take notes.
08:40You don't forget things.
08:40It's very hard to be friends with somebody that's taking notes on you.
08:43I'm sorry, Lisa.
08:44It's scary.
08:45Can you imagine being friends with someone taking notes on you?
08:47No.
08:48That's dangerous.
08:49I am not sitting in a court of law where you have to take notes on our conversations.
08:54Can she even spell dumb?
08:56She's taking notes.
08:57To keep it straight, it might not be a bad idea.
09:01What?
09:02Like, you can't take mental notes?
09:03Like, I've been taking mental notes throughout this entire trip.
09:06When you're in legal stuff, like, I'm in...
09:08This is illegal, Lisa.
09:09This is, like, a group of friends, Lisa.
09:11Friends don't do that.
09:12We're not really friends, actually.
09:14Then you don't need to be sitting across from you, then.
09:16You can sit over there.
09:17They're gonna do this all night.
09:19Can we have fun?
09:20I just want to have fun, you guys.
09:22You haven't been a great friend like you always say.
09:24I'll go around the table.
09:26And you can try to pretend you are, even though you're not.
09:29Can't pose, I'll kiss you.
09:31Thanks, Martina, too much?
09:32No time.
09:32No time.
09:34Hi.
09:34Kissing, maybe we'll change the energy.
09:37That's what I do.
09:38Let's make it possible.
09:40No, you're missing it, Stephanie.
09:42Let's kiss and not fight.
09:43If Gernie and I can kiss...
09:46You can make up.
09:48Oh, my God, for sake, come on already.
09:51What?
09:52Whoa, Gernie was open-mouthed.
09:54Gernie was open-mouthed.
09:55Gernie was open-mouthed.
09:56Oh, my God, this group is fucking crazy.
09:59I'm sorry, you make no mistake.
10:01This is the first time ever.
10:02And I might like this movie.
10:04It's like a fucking drug.
10:06We had better dinners, but we had worse.
10:18Hi.
10:19Hello, they're beautiful.
10:20How's it going?
10:21I miss you.
10:23I miss you, too.
10:24We're so close, but so far.
10:25I know.
10:26I prefer to hang out with you anywhere in the world,
10:29but Madrid is a lot of fun with you.
10:31I miss you.
10:36I miss you.
10:36I miss you.
10:36Is there any drama?
10:37Are the girls behaving?
10:38Of course there is.
10:42Darling.
10:44How are you?
10:44How are you?
10:44Hi, my darling.
10:46I'm getting glummed.
10:48You're great.
10:49You're great.
10:49Looking forward to seeing you all.
10:51It's so incredible that you're going to host us all tomorrow.
10:55Martina is so jealous.
10:56And Martina's good?
10:58Martina is babysitting the boys.
11:00How much do you pay her an hour?
11:01I cannot afford her.
11:07You got a knock.
11:08What are you doing with your little germ people?
11:10I'm a germapole.
11:11I don't touch the handles.
11:14Ooh, yes, auntie.
11:17You look like a southern belle up in España.
11:20Are you?
11:21You guys look amazing.
11:22Look at the bow in the back.
11:24You look sweet.
11:25I like this.
11:26And you're comfortable with the shoes.
11:28Howdy.
11:29We're walking on ruins.
11:30No, we're not.
11:31My mother always said, you got to suffer to be beautiful.
11:32So let's suffer, bitches.
11:33Are you guys tired?
11:35I'm tired.
11:36Exhausted.
11:37Let's just have fun today.
11:38No drama.
11:39I think Alexia, Stephanie, Larsa, Julia, and Marisol are going to that tile place.
11:44Oh, they're going to make it?
11:45Yeah.
11:46I don't know.
11:46I prefer to go see the city.
11:48All right.
11:49La ciudad de Sevilla.
11:51Let's go.
11:54We are in the neighborhood of Triana.
11:57In this town, they do tile making.
12:00Oh.
12:01This reminds me so much of my mom because in our home in Mexico, all the bathrooms and kitchens,
12:09she decorated them with Spanish tiles that she had shipped in.
12:13She loved Spanish hand-painted tiles.
12:16It was a little much, by the way.
12:19It can be nauseating when it's in every room.
12:25Hello.
12:27I'm Marisol.
12:28I'm Paula.
12:29Nice to meet you.
12:30I'm Julia.
12:31Alexia.
12:32Alexia.
12:32Nice to meet you.
12:33I'm too.
12:34I'm too.
12:35I'm too.
12:36I'm too.
12:37Stephanie.
12:38Hi, Larsa.
12:39Okay.
12:39I'm going to introduce this place.
12:41This place was an old ceramic factory from the end of 19th century.
12:46Oh.
12:46Cool.
12:46The walls and the arches are original.
12:48So cool.
12:49You can feel the, the ceramic here.
12:52Mm-hmm.
12:53Have you painted before with, with ceramic?
12:55No.
12:56No, never.
12:56We haven't even painted on, on a paper.
12:59Oh, I haven't.
12:59Or on anything.
13:00I doodle while I'm in meetings.
13:02All my notes, I'll have Masood with hearts.
13:04Jackson, he did something the other day.
13:06He made a Picasso painting on my truck.
13:10With a rock.
13:13I'm going to put some stencil, but if you want, you can mix an extensile and your imagination.
13:18Please don't paint, you know what, what you painted in the room yesterday.
13:21Male genitalia.
13:22Was it a penis?
13:23A penis.
13:24Please don't paint a penis.
13:25Are you missing C that much?
13:26I just like to draw.
13:28I put a lot of wood.
13:28And she draws a really good, by the way.
13:30Yeah.
13:30It's a nice one.
13:31I'm not going to lie.
13:32It's a nice one.
13:32It's a pretty one.
13:36You drew a real minimalist clean penis.
13:38I like a clean penis, don't you?
13:42I think this is a proper size.
13:44I mean, think about it.
13:46If you had a penis when you wanted to be like, at least up to here.
13:49No, I'm not drawing a penis.
13:51No.
13:52I have to put a little wrinkles on it.
13:57Do you think a lesbian cannot draw a penis?
14:00Are you kidding me?
14:02It looks like a dog bone.
14:06Can you tell me what this is?
14:07I drew something.
14:11It's your penis.
14:11I drew it.
14:14It looks like it exactly.
14:19Kiki's in the run class.
14:20She should have been in this group.
14:22Is my ass okay?
14:23And that outfit.
14:24So good.
14:24Nailed it.
14:25It is nice.
14:28Oh my gosh, guys.
14:29I am so excited about this.
14:31This is the oldest palace in Europe and has been here.
14:36It was created by the Muslims.
14:38Today, this is making me happy.
14:41Alcazar is one of the most iconic sites around the world.
14:45Not only is the oldest castle in Europe, but it's still being utilized by the royal family.
14:51After everything that went down last night, we needed like, you know, to see something pretty and historical that elevates
14:59us as human beings.
15:00Yes.
15:01How beautiful.
15:02Wow.
15:03The name Alcazar comes from Arabic, Alcazar, which means the fortress.
15:08To the Muslim influence.
15:09The mosaic.
15:10Ah, okay.
15:11Stunning.
15:11Yes.
15:12We have our own private tour guide, Inspector Gadget, right here.
15:16Adriana, I feel like, is the Jackie of all trades.
15:18Ms. Inspector Gadget is literally like, ta-dum, ta-dum.
15:24I cannot believe we are here.
15:25You're like a princess entering a castle that belongs in the 11th century.
15:29I actually feel like it.
15:30This maybe used to be my castle from the past life.
15:33See the gold?
15:34See the gold up there?
15:35The gold leaf, everything.
15:37Oh, my God.
15:39This room was the place of birth of Maria de Bourbon.
15:43Maria de Bourbon.
15:45It was one of the queens.
15:45How does she know all this?
15:46She's amazing.
15:47I have traveled to 58 different countries.
15:51So I lived in Paris and studied art history.
15:54I also lived in Florence and studied Italian art and then Rome.
15:59This is what I'm about.
16:00To be in places like this and understand all that it is.
16:05This is amazing.
16:07Imagine back then there was no technology.
16:09Everything was handmade.
16:10This is unbelievable.
16:11You know how much that would cost in Miami to do a drawer like that?
16:14Forget about it.
16:16I was a teacher's pet, so I'm already so...
16:19Oh, here we go.
16:20She's going to help me.
16:22Tomorrow we're going to Marbella.
16:25But I didn't get a chance to ask you, Larsen, because I want to make sure that you're comfortable.
16:29Do you want Lisa to be invited on the plane?
16:34I want to make sure that you're happy.
16:36No, I know.
16:36I was shaking so bad yesterday.
16:38I don't know if I want to be on the same plane with her.
16:40There is something more about my friends that I don't think I told you why it's also so important for
16:45me to go to Marbella.
16:47I was thinking to be with all of you and ask them, would they be okay to be a godparent?
16:54Oh my God!
16:56I love that.
16:58That's adorable.
16:59That's adorable.
17:01That's amazing.
17:02Martina and I met Derek and Jeffrey more than 10 years ago.
17:07They're just like our family.
17:09Having a godfather figure is something symbolic and I would love my boys to have a male figure in their
17:16life as well.
17:16And those guys are one of the best male figures I could wish for.
17:22It's a special moment for me, you know?
17:24I mean, I'm so sorry that Lisa is going through what she's going through right now.
17:29But yesterday, this dinner turned into a disaster.
17:33But I feel like you really need to talk to her because you just can't not invite her.
17:38Of course not.
17:38I don't see myself saying, Lisa, you're not invited.
17:40I can't do that, you know?
17:41Hard call.
17:42But...
17:43This is the craziest .
17:44Lisa gets away with anything in this group.
17:47She's been friends with them for a really, really long time.
17:50And they have learned to just accept the way that she is.
17:53And continuing to allow her to be a destructive way.
17:57You guys want to make excuses.
17:59It has now been years where you guys give her chances and chances to be late and disrespect you.
18:04I also believe that she has come in and ruined the environment.
18:09I don't want to hope and wish that she's going to get on the plane and not cause an issue.
18:14And I'm not willing to take that chance.
18:29Lisa has come in and ruined the environment.
18:34I don't want to be on a plane with her.
18:36I don't want to be in a car with her.
18:38Right.
18:38I think that every time you two are in front of each other...
18:41Yeah, it's a lot.
18:42...you have a problem.
18:42So we know something's going to happen.
18:44I mean, the good thing is that the plane ride is only 22 minutes.
18:47A lot can happen in 22 minutes.
18:49But you're right.
18:49Everybody knows that there's such a thing as jetiquette.
18:53It's etiquette on a jet.
18:55Lisa is always late.
18:57So I already think the number one rule of jetiquette, she's going to break it.
19:01And who wants bad vibes in the sky?
19:03Nobody.
19:04I'm in a situation.
19:05You're in a situation where you're with someone that's taking notes and sending them to someone that doesn't give a
19:10shit about you guys.
19:11I saw her taking the notes.
19:13Something's going on with her because Lisa was never like this.
19:15I know.
19:16I agree.
19:17It's like she's thinking more now.
19:19And then the wheels are spinning.
19:22I don't want to get sued.
19:23I like my money.
19:24That's why I'm saying I don't want to be on the plane with her.
19:26I'm not willing to lose anything for someone else's situation.
19:31And I think you guys can all agree to that.
19:32Is that fair to say?
19:33It's fair to say.
19:34Yeah.
19:36Oh, my goodness, guys.
19:37This is one of the first times on the trip I've really been in the moment, you know?
19:42I have so much personal stuff going on.
19:45I have to say the lawsuits take up most of my time.
19:49Yesterday was an example of that.
19:50Just the fact that within an hour you had to reply, find a notary, that alone got me anxious for
19:55you.
19:55So I can understand, you know?
19:56And the kids are going through a lot.
19:58Logan's saying things like, all I can think about is fixing you and dad.
20:01Can I put you guys together?
20:02And he, as a young boy, should not be worrying about these adult problems.
20:06I feel like I'm just crumbling.
20:09I really feel like it's not okay for somebody's boyfriend to be calling another person in the group.
20:18She started it.
20:19Yeah, but how does Jody know everything that happened in the group?
20:21She started it.
20:22She literally said his name, so it was about him.
20:25So, yes, I told him.
20:26I think it's bad enough that Jody is texting a woman.
20:31Oh, my God.
20:32But it's the amount of taxes.
20:35Like, I think Jody takes Larsa more than Lisa.
20:37I don't know how her and Jody are speaking directly, to be honest.
20:39I don't like it at all.
20:40I need everyone to leave Jody alone.
20:43He's a great guy.
20:44What's the vote?
20:45I would want to talk to her.
20:48Julian, I will tell her.
20:50She doesn't like people to tell her, like, what to do.
20:52Well, too bad.
20:52Too bad.
20:53I don't like it neither.
20:53Larsa, literally, since June, has been telling her, Lisa, please, you're my friend.
20:59And you're following Marcus.
21:00And you know what he's done to me, my family, the things he said.
21:02And she just doesn't want to do it because Larsa's telling her, like, not to do it.
21:06And so, if you talk to her like that, she's going to say, well, you're not going to tell me
21:09what to do.
21:10Listen, I feel like we need to de-escalate the situation.
21:13We do.
21:13I know that you are not ready to unfollow Marcus.
21:16And I know it's so stupid.
21:18I know this is so stupid.
21:18I just think that it is the factor that has escalated everything.
21:23But she's, like, very aggressive with the way she approaches me.
21:26I know, I know.
21:26And she's not the boss of me.
21:28I understand.
21:28I'm not going to let her tell me what to do.
21:30I don't know, Adriana, what you think.
21:32She's always my voice of reason.
21:34You don't want to unfollow Marcus on Larsa's demand.
21:38Demand.
21:39Because that means then she is winning.
21:41At the same time, I feel like you empowering her.
21:45Because she's using that to run the whole group against you.
21:48That's exactly right.
21:49Okay.
21:49Okay.
21:50I'm just going to do it.
21:52I can't believe that this is, like, the big thing.
21:54That's the level that Larsa is on.
21:56This doesn't mean that you have to engage with her anymore.
22:04Do you see that, guys?
22:09I think I see pigs flying.
22:11One less chip she gets to play.
22:13I don't think that Larsa is going to go,
22:15thank you, friend.
22:18I hope we can move on from this now,
22:21that you've unfollowed Marcus.
22:25Like, that's not going to happen.
22:27Now can we just go back and enjoy more of this view?
22:29I'm so freaking loosey, darling.
22:31This place was magical.
22:32One unfollow at a time.
22:34There you go.
22:35I'm so proud of you.
22:36Okay.
22:42I'm nervous.
22:44I don't like this.
22:45I know.
22:47I'm going to relax you right now with this boozy sedative,
22:49because this isn't going to be an easy conversation.
22:52It's Stephanie's plane.
22:54It's Stephanie's choice.
22:56Why am I taking the heat?
22:59Ay-yi-yi.
23:00God.
23:01It's always me.
23:04Holding the bag.
23:06Doing the dirty work.
23:08Hi.
23:10Hi, Monk.
23:11Hi.
23:11How was your day?
23:13I'm out of breath.
23:14Did you go running?
23:16Are you ready for tonight?
23:18Ready?
23:18No, this is from today.
23:19Oh, okay.
23:20How are you?
23:22Good, we went to make some tiles.
23:24It's our role as hostess to have this conversation with Lisa.
23:27I'm a little nervous, to be honest, to be talking to Lisa.
23:31Maybe not as nervous as Marisol right now, but I still think we got this.
23:36Oh, good.
23:36Missed you guys.
23:37Did you have fun?
23:38Yes.
23:39Now we have tomorrow.
23:40We're going to Marbella.
23:42We're going on Stephanie's jet.
23:44It's a short flight.
23:45Okay.
23:45And we're going to my friends, Derek and Jeffrey.
23:48And for me, it's extra special because I want to ask them to be godfathers of my boys.
23:52Oh, my God.
23:54Right.
23:54That's so special.
23:55They don't know.
23:57Oof.
23:57So they're going to say yes?
23:59I hope and I'm sure also they will say yes.
24:01I will be on my best behavior if that's what I'm here for.
24:05I already know that, so...
24:07I love hearing that.
24:09I love hearing that.
24:10Yeah.
24:10You've got to put your phone away because everyone's really uncomfortable about the note-taking.
24:15I can't put my phone away because I have two kids and I have little stuff going on.
24:18Okay, so here's what we're going to do.
24:20We're going to have a basket on the jet and then when we get to the house, there's a basket
24:24for the phone.
24:25Are you guys making this rule for everyone else?
24:28Yes, I'm going to put my phone in a basket.
24:30Yeah, but I can't do that.
24:32Absolutely, I have to have my phone.
24:33Here's the problem.
24:35The note-taking has everyone on high alert.
24:37Okay, let me explain.
24:38I'm only taking little notes on Larsa because she likes to twist and turn things and lie, so I have
24:44to keep it straight.
24:46Only Larsa? Larsa's our friend.
24:48One day you take it on Larsa, next time you'll take it on me.
24:51I have to be able to pick up my phone.
24:54Right.
24:55I have two small children, but when you're here, who can help you help them if they need help over
25:01there?
25:01Nobody.
25:02Their father doesn't?
25:04Nope.
25:05You can't ask Jodi to do it?
25:06Nope.
25:07But he's your partner and he steps in when you have an emergency.
25:10No, he's not their dad.
25:13Are you kidding me?
25:14He's not going to help you with your kids if you have an emergency?
25:16What kind of love is that?
25:19Guys, I will remove myself because it's bananas.
25:22You guys are trying to tell me what to do with my phone.
25:25It's nuts.
25:26Guys, I love you guys.
25:27I'm not coming tonight.
25:30I feel like I'm not wanted and I'm on.
25:33That's not true.
25:33I think we gave you an opportunity.
25:35I love you guys.
25:36I'm with us.
25:37I proposed you to go to the spa.
25:39This is exactly what I didn't want to happen in my bed.
25:42I'm not going to dinner with these people tonight.
25:45Like, no.
25:47Oh, that .
26:09You have no makeup on at all?
26:14Who's going to help you with all that?
26:15You need to know.
26:16No, Gianna, no, I'm not a makeup artist.
26:19I just don't know, like, this is based on my color,
26:21so I don't know what...
26:23No, I like to be dark.
26:25Oh, okay.
26:29Howdy!
26:30You guys look great.
26:32Red is my power color, I love it.
26:34Hello!
26:35Hello!
26:36Kix, I missed you today!
26:39What is that?
26:40You guys wanna do a selfie?
26:41What is that?
26:42Oh my God, that's so cool!
26:44You could film porn with this.
26:49Yo, this is so cool.
26:52Memories, memories.
26:57Okay, we're calling Lisa now.
26:59Ooh!
27:01Oh, I love it.
27:03Hi, my friend.
27:05You guys can go ahead if you like,
27:06I can take a cab,
27:07because I need, like, five minutes,
27:09so you guys can go ahead.
27:11Okay.
27:14So we'll just see you there, then.
27:16Okay, bye.
27:17I don't wanna keep you guys, so I'm gonna...
27:18Okay.
27:20Thank you for answering.
27:21We'll see you there.
27:23She hung up.
27:24Okay.
27:24It was hell to get here.
27:26I'm dealing with a lot.
27:27I'm not gonna let Larsa have the satisfaction
27:30of driving me out of this group.
27:31Lisa, I know it was uncomfortable,
27:33and you're going through a lot of emotions.
27:35You're, like, got so many things going on.
27:39I thought you handled it quite well.
27:41And I wanted to see you at dinner.
27:44Let's...
27:45You can do it!
27:46You can do it!
27:49All right, love you.
27:49Love you.
27:50Bye.
27:50So, I'm gonna go to dinner.
27:53I'm hungry, and besides, a girl's gotta eat.
27:55So, we're missing Gertie and Adriana.
27:58We should head out and just send the other girls
28:00a text message with the address.
28:02Right, yeah.
28:03Let's go.
28:03Yeah, let's go.
28:03No, I don't...
28:04We can't be late.
28:05Oh, my God, it's so warm today.
28:06Oh, my God, my folder.
28:07Please don't go.
28:08Please don't go.
28:09So funny.
28:11What's in the folder?
28:12Taking notes?
28:13Like, Lisa?
28:13Oh, God.
28:15I would never do that.
28:16Oh, did you guys give your order for the restaurant?
28:18Yes.
28:19Hi.
28:19Oh, Gertie.
28:20How you guys doing?
28:21Hi, hi, hi.
28:22Hi.
28:22I left a necklace.
28:25I'm here.
28:26I need my black necklace.
28:27I'm like, ooh.
28:28Black necklace.
28:29Hello.
28:30Hi.
28:31We'll squeeze in.
28:32I guess I'll go to the other one.
28:35Did you see?
28:36Adriana literally looks at me and walks the other way.
28:39Because you're ready?
28:39Is it me?
28:40I don't know how about...
28:41I don't know how about...
28:42Did she look?
28:42She didn't even say, how can I squeeze in?
28:44Nothing.
28:44Hello.
28:45Hi.
28:45Hey, come on in.
28:47How was your day?
28:48You had fun?
28:49I did have fun.
28:50Good.
28:51Gertie, I have serious gossip for you.
28:53Kiki found a boyfriend in Sevilla.
28:57Oh!
28:58I want a beautiful husband from Sevilla.
29:04No, no, no.
29:05Not you.
29:06He's gonna have a wife, but in 15 days I won't.
29:08Oh, my God.
29:09And I told him I'm taken already by Julian Martinez.
29:11No, you didn't.
29:12You actually said, how deep is your wallet?
29:14Oh.
29:1740 years ago when I lived here.
29:18I was 17.
29:20Yeah.
29:20Why didn't you marry a Spaniard, Alexia?
29:22I was actually engaged to a Spanish guy.
29:24His grandfather was the owner of Pepsi-Cola.
29:27Wow.
29:28In Spain.
29:29Wow, you missed your vote.
29:30We're trust fund babies.
29:31I didn't even know what that was.
29:32Oh, my God.
29:34Back in the day.
29:34That's like real money.
29:34Looking for that Pepsi-Cola CEO and hope he's single and not gay.
29:39And try and put them back together.
29:41We need a big band-aid.
29:44And by big band-aid, I mean big band-aid.
30:06Oh, this is gorgeous.
30:08Wow.
30:09It's not pretty.
30:11Guys, look at the tile.
30:12These are the expensive ones.
30:13I need to sit somewhere where I can kick Alexia under the table.
30:20Will you get me a tequila soda?
30:27We had a good day today.
30:31We really did.
30:32And we were making tiles.
30:33And we were making tiles.
30:34That's right away.
30:48I guess the turtle is good symbolism of the speed Todd's moving at to finalize this divorce.
30:55Julia and Maris are hosting.
30:58They decided when we come back to the hotel, we're going to meet up with Lisa.
31:02And we did.
31:03So then I said to her, here's the caveat.
31:06You have to put your phone in a basket when you get on the plane.
31:09And you have to put your phone in a basket when you get to the house.
31:14Oh, by the way.
31:15She decided she unfollowed Marcus.
31:17None of us.
31:20Thank God, baby, Jason.
31:22Wow.
31:22We're so past that.
31:24Adriana, that's the bare minimum.
31:26Wait.
31:27Adriana, I didn't know that you were going to announce that because we all made a pact that we were
31:30not going to announce that she unfollowed Marcus.
31:33We did.
31:34Someone's going to say it.
31:35Pinky promise right now, Kiki.
31:36Watch.
31:37Someone's going to go.
31:37And you.
31:37Go.
31:38Pinky promise.
31:39She made Kiki literally, like, promise her life that she wasn't going to say anything about
31:42I guess I missed that part.
31:44Yeah, you were sitting there.
31:45We were like, we're not going to say anything.
31:46I know, but I was looking at the birds.
31:49I was watching the parakeets.
31:51Adriana, you're the worst secret keeper.
31:55I'm sorry.
31:56And I thought it was good news.
31:57Lisa, she doesn't really care to follow Marcus.
32:00Because it's just because she won't let Larsa control her.
32:03Well, that fish is gorgeous.
32:11Steph, Steph.
32:13So good.
32:13Roquetas.
32:15Mmm.
32:20Oh, my God.
32:22Are you kidding me?
32:23Oh, no.
32:24I'm going to eat real quick.
32:26Bye.
32:27Bye.
32:31Hi, Lisa.
32:32I'm glad you're here.
32:33How is everybody doing today?
32:36So glad that you're here.
32:36Me too.
32:37Hey.
32:38How are you?
32:39I'm good.
32:39Good.
32:40It's like orange.
32:44Who shows up two hours late and acts like everything is okay?
32:48Like, we're just fine.
32:51She lives in Dulululand.
32:53I'm a pootie.
32:54I'm a pootie.
32:55I'm a pootie.
32:55There you go.
32:56So what's the tea?
33:01Lisa, we made a promise we were not going to say anything.
33:04Adriana, round her mouth.
33:07I literally was like, we literally said that.
33:10Not like that, though.
33:11You mean Kiki pinky promise?
33:12Not like that.
33:13No, but wait.
33:14It was like that.
33:14First of all, Kiki, stop being so ratchet.
33:29What do you mean stop being so ratchet?
33:30Lisa, we made a promise we were not going to say anything.
33:33Adriana, round her mouth.
33:35Kiki, stop being so ratchet.
33:37What do you mean stop being so ratchet?
33:42Because I was breaking good news!
33:45Adriana, that's up.
33:47That's good news.
33:48You calling me ratchet?
33:50Oh my God, I'm gonna choke on a bone.
33:52You don't ratchet up them all.
33:54We made a promise, you call me ratchet?
33:56I didn't see the promise.
33:58Did you call me ratchet?
33:59No, I mean.
34:00No, no, no, she didn't mean it like that.
34:02She called me, Adriana, don't react.
34:04Kiki is overreacting.
34:05What do you mean?
34:07She called me ratchet.
34:08Now I'm about to get ratchet for real on her ass.
34:11Hold on, I'm gonna look it up for you, okay?
34:14Slang ratchet.
34:16What does it mean?
34:17R-A-T-C-H-E-T.
34:20It does say exciting or excellent, no.
34:23Slang ratchet, low class and out of control
34:26and can be used in a disparaging or complimentary way.
34:31Oh, I'm confused now.
34:32Think maybe Adriana meant to use a different word.
34:35There's no way that she meant to say that.
34:38I hope that's not what she meant.
34:39I don't know if at this point we need a referee
34:41or a translator, but I'm just happy
34:44that I'm not in the hot seat.
34:46Well, that's the wrong word.
34:47All these women use the wrong words.
34:48Ratchet is a ghetto, okay?
34:50That's not nice.
34:51Yeah, that's not the right term at all.
34:52Did you just call me ratchet?
34:54Well, because you're trying to throw me under the bus.
34:56But that's what you did.
34:57You are too old to be talking like this to people.
35:02Oh, Kiki, stop.
35:04I'm ratchet?
35:05Oh, I'm old, I'm old, I'm old.
35:06Yeah, you said I'm just my mom.
35:08I'm old.
35:08You ratchet.
35:09Oh, thank you.
35:10You're the ratchet one.
35:12No, you're not going to come from me like this.
35:13You call me ratchet?
35:15I'm old.
35:15Of course you're old.
35:16I'm old.
35:16Yes, you are old.
35:17You want to deny it?
35:19She's old.
35:20I mean, she's older.
35:21I mean, I don't know.
35:22I mean, I'm old too.
35:24I mean, I don't know.
35:25It's just about this.
35:26You say you use the wrong word.
35:27It wasn't the right word.
35:28I'm old, I'm old.
35:28It doesn't matter.
35:29So I guess I'm expired.
35:31It's ageism.
35:33This typical Adriana, saying the most ridiculous things,
35:38accuses me of being old.
35:39off your old car.
35:41Go get plastic surgery on your wrinkled knees,
35:44because they need it.
35:46Karma's been nipping at Adriana's heels for a long time.
35:50Time out, time out, time out.
35:51You guys, in order for us to get back to a place
35:54where we can all coexist and see the good in each other,
35:57I feel like we have to understand that, like, we're friends.
36:00We need Jesus.
36:01We're going to be friends.
36:02No, we need common sense.
36:04And Jesus.
36:04But according to kids, you can only be friends if you're young.
36:06If you're old, you can no longer be friends.
36:08I'm going to join you in this.
36:12Guys, let's have a lovely time.
36:14I want to apologize to everybody about yesterday.
36:17No, I really do.
36:18I wanted to remove myself, and I did.
36:20And I dealt with my stuff.
36:21It was real stuff.
36:22Like, she was with me like she saw it.
36:24Oh, and by the way, anyone want to take my phone?
36:27Yes, we do.
36:28Yes, we do.
36:29I want to clarify.
36:30So, in the last two and a half years, I'm constantly taking notes
36:35because the lawyers and whoever else will say,
36:38you've got to take a note of everything in case...
36:41I'm sorry, I've got to go back to Miami
36:43because I've got to babysit her kids.
36:46Because that's what grandmothers do.
36:47Are you kidding me?
36:48I'm leaving right now.
36:49I'm leaving right now.
36:50Old people like me have to babysit her kids for her.
36:54Do you know who's taking care of my mother?
36:56Are you kidding me?
36:57Moi.
36:57It's me who's taking care of her.
36:59Respect.
37:00Respect.
37:01Respect.
37:03Respect.
37:04Respect.
37:05Respect.
37:06Respect.
37:07I'm sorry.
37:07Are you kidding me?
37:08Are you kidding me?
37:08You have to talk to your mom like that.
37:12I'm done.
37:13I'm done.
37:13There's no way in hell that I'm taking a single chance
37:16to do something nice for Julia and this happened again.
37:20This is the third dinner that all of you guys ruined.
37:22I am done.
37:23You guys are all very...
37:24Oh, yeah.
37:24She's following you.
37:25Yeah, why are you going with you?
37:28I've got to go babysit her kids so she can party.
37:30I'm not going with you.
37:32This is insane.
37:34This is crazy.
37:36You girls are all crazy.
37:37Honestly, I am embarrassed.
37:40But listen, we are in Spain.
37:41They don't do this here.
37:43I don't want them to know that we are American.
37:45We can fix it.
37:46No, there's nothing.
37:46You can't fix anything in a dinner, Lisa.
37:48I'm leaving.
37:49I'm done.
37:50Let's go.
37:51Get the out of here before we embarrass ourselves anymore.
37:53I'm dying.
37:54I'm out.
37:55I'll make them Venmo us.
37:58Close the door so nobody else comes in here with us.
38:00Sorry about that.
38:01We're really sorry about that.
38:03Sorry about the outburst.
38:04Drinks on the house, on us.
38:11That chair got in my way.
38:13I'm sorry.
38:14Tonight escalated because of Kiki and Adriana.
38:17Unfortunately.
38:18Because Lisa and you were moving forward, I thought.
38:20It's always something.
38:20It's always something.
38:21You guys, I'm not getting closer to the weekend.
38:23Are we going to go?
38:24Are we going to get out?
38:25I can't.
38:26Can you please go?
38:26No, don't cry.
38:27Don't cry.
38:28Are you okay?
38:30Can you put on the air condition, please?
38:32I'm mortified and I apologize on behalf of my friends.
38:36It's a lot.
38:37It's a lot.
38:37It's a lot.
38:38I'm sorry.
38:38I'm sorry.
38:57Cut me out of these clothes.
39:00Oh, Stephanie's crying.
39:01It's been a long day.
39:02It's a long day.
39:03And I think she feels responsible because she offered the plane.
39:06Yes.
39:06I don't even blame Stephanie for not having us in her plane tomorrow.
39:09I know.
39:09I can't just be like, okay, I'm taking my friends and then leave the others.
39:12Like, I just don't understand.
39:13It's 22 minutes.
39:15No.
39:15I feel bad for you.
39:16It's a horrible predicament.
39:18I feel your pain, Stephanie.
39:18I feel your pain.
39:18I feel you.
39:19You haven't had rest, the proper sleep.
39:21She's also not used to.
39:22No.
39:23Conflict like this.
39:24She's not used to you.
39:24Very high level.
39:26Very high level of conflict.
39:27It was disgusting.
39:29Can we just not get along just for dinner?
39:31By the way, I was so embarrassed.
39:33Talking to Lisa last night, at least you kept a normal tone.
39:36Those two were disgusting.
39:38You are too old to be talking like this to people.
39:41Old people like me have to babysit her kids for her.
39:44I feel like even when I have words, I talk low.
39:46I'm not like one of those people.
39:47Wait, we know.
39:48We just use it.
39:48Like, the house is on fire.
39:53Let's do it.
39:53Let's do it.
39:54The house is on fire.
39:56And I feel so surprised that Alexia is really there for me.
40:00And she's making me feel really good.
40:02And I feel like I'm seeing some light at the end of this really dark tunnel with Alexia.
40:06You're invited tomorrow.
40:07Wait, why was Julia?
40:08You're invited tomorrow.
40:10That's the memo.
40:12I have to sign this?
40:14I got to read this.
40:15This is a lot.
40:15And I'm not a good student.
40:20We're going to try to do a seating arrangement.
40:22If we can make the seating arrangement work, where I close the compartments.
40:25OK.
40:25I don't know the layout of your place.
40:26I'm going to draw it for you.
40:27OK.
40:29One solo that has a door here and a door here.
40:32This is for the biggest criminal.
40:35Adriana can be in this solo room.
40:36Put Gertie here across from her.
40:38Adriana and Lisa are buddies.
40:41OK.
40:41And they love to spend time together.
40:43Can you put both of them back there?
40:44Yeah.
40:45Yeah.
40:46Perfect.
40:46And then Julia.
40:48And then Julia could be here with us.
40:49Julia and Gertie are making out now.
40:51I mean, they're for sure friends.
40:52So then we left the criminal seat alone.
40:54If they find out, none of them are going to be happy.
40:56Because nobody wants to sit there by themselves.
40:59That's only if they misbehave, which they're not.
41:01Oh, God.
41:02Hold on.
41:03Hold on.
41:04I feel like I don't have a choice.
41:08OK.
41:08And you know, I also have the option of we get there.
41:11They disrespect me for...
41:12It's 22 minutes.
41:14They disrespect me for 22 minutes.
41:15And you drive back.
41:16I can't.
41:16Oh, my God.
41:17I like Rene.
41:18I like Stephanie a lot.
41:20But Stephanie, like, really lost it.
41:23She's losing me.
41:24Because this is just too much for me.
41:27The door closes.
41:28There's a full door.
41:29This is like a door.
41:29Like, there's a door.
41:30Mm-hmm.
41:32The isolated seating area, it makes me feel like everyone's
41:35being, like, punished.
41:38And it's not sitting well with me.
41:39And I don't want any part of it anymore.
41:42Look, I don't even have to go.
41:43I don't care anymore.
41:44Maybe we shouldn't go anywhere.
41:48Let's try to make it work.
41:49If it works, great.
41:49If it doesn't, it doesn't work.
41:51I'm trying to make this work for Julia.
41:52Please.
41:53Do you want to take a photo of this and put in our group text?
41:56That way, you don't have to say anything else.
41:57You say, this is the seating arrangement.
41:59They need to see my memo, though.
42:00I don't want to be wearing, you know, zippers
42:01and, like, cutting my seats.
42:03And they need to know that I really don't like clothing.
42:05Mm-hmm.
42:09This is why I drink so much.
42:11So that my spirit doesn't break.
42:21Next time on The Real Housewives of Miami.
42:23Yolo, baby.
42:27I love the smell.
42:29I really do.
42:29I love it.
42:30It reminds me of the farms in Columbia.
42:32Ooh, now this is a little too strong.
42:35Yeah, but it's from the horse.
42:36It's different.
42:37Welcome to Rila Moana.
42:39Wow.
42:40Now this, my friends, is some white lotus .
42:44And I approve this message.
42:46Cheers.
42:47Cheers.
42:48Cheers.
42:48Thank you so much.
42:50Cheers.
42:51a story.
42:54Nice Jeff.
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