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Hacks - Season 5 Episode 5 - D'Amazing Race
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00:06look at that speed damian he's clocking at nine miles per hour oh let's get his info
00:14the harris team is looking good they were the laughingstock of the hospitality olympics last
00:18year but they've really turned things around they've got a strong anchor yeah she's quick
00:24but i worry about precision we're only staffing the best of the best at the diva oh is that what
00:30you're calling the casino mm-hmm the diva i like that diva oh look at that little one he lets
00:41the
00:41sock of the vacuum pull him he'll be less prone to injury smart
00:53i like his passion no can't do it horrible at trivia call it call it ref yes who do you
00:59think
01:00you are i am i am ray motherfuckers we did good come on let's go you need to be perfect
01:08work for this
01:08work for this this is where a hotel succeeds or fails a well-made bed it's almost all there is
01:14look at him in the vest i like the way he handles a top sheet go sophie go go i
01:21do not want to bring
01:21you tonight prove me wrong he's a surgeon quick but measured efficient but not careless fold that
01:29talk hospital quarters we went over there sophie jesus christ check check
01:44i am the best bed breaker in the world
01:50girl i see you
01:53moment of truth
01:57yes good girl
01:58see i'm on your side girl
02:01you know what i miss go fish
02:03mom mom hi guys mom i need you
02:07oh no honey is aden leaving you
02:09this is what men do they leave okay you gotta make sure that all the vehicles are in your name
02:15no are they no no no no are they mom
02:18they're finally doing celebrity amazing race
02:21oh remember you said that you would go on it with me if they ever made it
02:25oh no yeah no dj you know that i gagged i can't do any tv no performing for months
02:32nice try i called your lawyer you called steward well that's what you get for suing me for criminal
02:37negligence for breaking grandma's teapot okay steward and i have developed a lovely working
02:41relationship and he says you're in the clear as long as this season airs after the non-compete
02:46expires and it does so suck it no you are not allowed to do a reality show that has always
02:51been
02:51our rule mom this is really important to me okay you know it's important to me
02:57amazing race got me sober excuse me i think four hundred thousand dollars worth of rehab
03:02got you sober nope that failed episodes of the amazing race got me through some really dark
03:07times okay phil kogan is my higher power and you promised me that if i got sober we would go
03:12on
03:12together okay okay okay you're right i'll think about it yeah think about it but i need an answer by
03:18five o'clock okay plus if we win we get a million dollars which covers my allowance for the year
03:23well
03:23honey i i think all that money goes to charity oh really that's so stupid you know what i'm sure
03:30there's a workaround i still want to do it i'm gonna go practice driving on the wrong side of the
03:33road christ yeah look i don't think it's the worst thing in the world for you to go on a
03:39reality show
03:40i mean there'll be a big announcement revealing the cast and you can get them to plug msg in the
03:44press release you know she's right reality shows do give celebrities fresh relevance that's true
03:50but the problem with reality shows is you cannot control the narrative i mean that's why i've
03:55turned down andy cohen more than every twink on fire island and they can make you look however
03:59they want i mean don't worry about me but i mean they could really make dj look like a fool
04:03i mean
04:04she doesn't seem to worry to me yeah and having her as my teammate would probably be out on the
04:09first
04:10leg i could be home in a week you do need to sell tickets well guess it looks like i'm
04:17doing the
04:18amazing race oh that's bad too food waste is so depressing you know this is the fourth blackout
04:36we've had this year it's the sixth two happened during separate 12-hour naps you were taking not
04:41sleeps naps and you slept those nights too it's even worse thank god i'm such a good napper i'd be
04:49even more stressed out about the climate crisis and don't monitor my sleep it's private but it's
04:54fascinating
05:00jimbo what's up hey so i just finished lunch with jessica duncan and i have great news
05:05news she loves the who's making dinner idea she wants to hear it are you serious yeah she flipped
05:10out it are you peeing what call me back if you're peeing i can talk to you in a second
05:14no i i'm making
05:15coffee i although i i have peed over on the phone before okay um anyway i want to get you
05:21and deborah
05:21in a room with her is ever excited because this could be really big um i have not yet i
05:27haven't
05:27talked to deborah yet well you need to asap also i do need to flag one issue with the rights
05:34apparently when frank died he left them to kathy please tell me you mean to jimmy why would i mean
05:39kathy and jimmy now kathy her sister the one who hates her i even tried to grease the wheels i
05:44gave
05:44her a call today but she wanted to get off the phone because she said i was quote an enabler
05:47of
05:48her abuser who which i think is unfair but you know what we all have our narrative so whatever whatever
05:52to her she's a fucking bitch okay well uh i'll i'll talk to deborah let me know what our girl
05:58says and
05:59if she is not happy don't tell me just internalize it i think you're packing too much stuff
06:07you really have room for six rolls of toilet paper oh you can't just downgrade your toilet tissue out
06:12of nowhere i haven't had time to build up any kind of a tolerance it's a shock to the system
06:16i mean you can go to the hospital totally um hey while i have you so you know how i
06:22have that blind
06:23script deal well um i i figured out what i want to do uh i want to reboot who's making
06:31dinner oh um
06:33yeah it would take place in the same house but instead of a young couple it would follow some
06:37uh gen z friends who have to all live together to afford it i could pitch it and then you
06:41could just
06:42like totally rewrite it if you wanted to like just whichever whichever version works for you i feel like
06:46yeah done with but um i just want to run it by you because i really don't want to do
06:51a reboot of
06:51who's making dinner oh okay but you should no no no no i i i wouldn't want to do it
07:00without you no no
07:01no i i'm moving forward with the garden but i give you my blessing are you sure i mean i
07:08know
07:09it's like triggering for you when people rewrite your story well i would trust you to do it
07:20thanks i won't let you down i know but you know i don't have the rights so i can't help
07:26you with that
07:42look at that headshot it's at least 20 years old we have two offers already and two others are
07:50writing so if you're interested i suggest you come in aggressively okay great thanks
07:58what the hell are you doing here nice bones kathy not you the house how did you find me do
08:05you
08:05still have that pi following me pi what pi he died is there somewhere we can sit if we must
08:18i was surprised you weren't at the christening what we we both were i'm aj's godmother i am aj's
08:26godmother oh god dj must have had two christenings you want to alternate months
08:34so um listen i know why you're here i talked to jimmy against the advice of my healer
08:40deborah you are not getting the rights to that show the thing is they're not they're not for
08:44deborah they're for me huh sure no really they are what are you going to do with them nothing well
08:50you didn't know that i journal so what's your price you obviously need the money i don't remember you
08:56having a passion for selling real estate you weren't even good at playing house well you always made me
09:01be the maid well you were a natural i'm surprised you could remember anything at all i read that you
09:06had a
09:07psychotic break live on air no surprise there hope you're getting help just like you got help in the
09:1390s with prozac how did you i had dj go through your trash like a good little girl okay my
09:17sisters
09:19let's turn the volume down kathy is there anything we could do to change your mind well
09:28there is one thing no no let's go what when we were little our mother had these salt and pepper
09:35shakers
09:35do not waste your breath they were cherubic porcelain little blonde girls she used to say they looked
09:41exactly like us we loved them that's why we started shaker collections of our own then when mom passed
09:48deborah stole them from me i never stole them mom said she always wanted me to have them i'll give
09:53you
09:53the rights if you give me back the shakers which is never gonna happen see she's deliberately crushing
09:58your dreams sadistic really this woman is sick this woman is sick let's leave hey it's great don't
10:10even think about coming back without those shakers oh windows cracked candles are lit there's mold run run
10:22hello
10:25i'm sorry i would pay anything i just can't i can't do that i get it i get it it's
10:33okay thank you for
10:45trying
10:47amazing race contestants take your places please
10:53oh my god this is the best day of my life thank you so much for doing this well you're
10:57welcome
10:57sweetie but just remember our deal okay you're representing the family yeah so went on camera
11:02mm-hmm no swearing right no unladylike behavior no talking back okay let me in doubt ask yourself
11:09wwmd what would mommy do yes what would mommy do don't talk back i didn't i talked with we said
11:16the
11:16same thing okay hey everyone yes i would officially like to welcome you all to the amazing race
11:27now since this is our first celebrity race why don't we just talk a little bit about why you were
11:33taking part drew and jonathan what inspired you to be here today well we love to compete so not if
11:40but when we win very confident yeah yeah okay we're gonna be donating our prize money to the alzheimer's
11:46association we have a family member who died from alzheimer's so we're going on this journey for the
11:51patients and doctors who are running the much harder race the one for a cure okay that's a
11:56great cause great cause yeah yeah yeah now uh jr and richard we are playing for the united negro
12:03college fund right who also support hbcus throughout the country yeah and the million
12:08dollars that we are going to win correct that's just a fraction of the 26 million dollars that the
12:13united negro college fund donates every single year to scholarships awesome another great cause
12:17wow now what about you deborah and dj vents i'm here to promote my comeback show
12:25at madison square garden september 11th
12:30okay uh how about we get this race started everybody
12:36are you ready for your life changing adventure yes we are let's go good luck travel safe
12:51oh this is going to be interesting
13:04okay drag yourselves to lax and fly to oaxaca mexico when you land make your way to capo los molinos
13:09you have fifty dollars for this leg of the race okay bed bed bed bed mom this wedding hair
13:14to stink no no no no honey we have talked about a racerback cut on you stop it get in
13:19the car
13:34your next flight to oaxaca mexico yes yes please please hi deborah i'm like i'm i love you so much
13:42i
13:42have to say i went as you for halloween all of middle school got the fucking shit kicked out of
13:46me worth it
13:47no i'm obsessed with you jordan just told me you do comedy too you had to tell you that well
13:54now
13:54that i know i'm obsessed we should totally work together the blonde comedy girls you're a comedian
14:01yeah well i can also talk really really really fast and what else oh i can do asmr do you
14:07feel
14:07that do you feel it on the back of your neck she's major she's generational talent and this is online
14:12comedy well i've also done broadway and the hollywood bowl yeah she's sold out in like
14:16under two seconds yeah it was super fun so should we make this official alliance alliance yana
14:24we can call ourselves the funny honeys i don't think so thanks wait no mom mom no no alliances are
14:32a huge part of the race okay so listen what if there's a puzzle we can't figure it out don't
14:37you
14:37want them to give us a hint on their way out that happens literally all the time absolutely not
14:42she says we're both comedians how dare she compare herself to me god they will get last
14:46and we will win this race come on let's go
15:10i get it it's good tv it's good tv we need to go there are you paying attention this is
15:22very important we are in a race for one million dollars
15:47i was hoping to be stranded and abducted where are the kidnappers from cinaloa drug cartel and you
15:52need them oh it's a roadblock that means only one of us can complete the challenge okay okay okay okay
15:57okay who's the big cheese oh this one's addressed to me mom every single contestant is a celebrity
16:02okay what's wrong with your fingers we're real cheese down the hill using traditional antique
16:06cheese rack once there you'll receive your next clue oh yeah i understood every word of that
16:09transport a wheel of cheese down the hill using a traditional antique cheese rack once there you'll
16:14receive your next clue huh okay all right okay this sounds complex i think i should do this one
16:19you're not that coordinated no no no no no no i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it hopefully you
16:22can
16:22complete this quick and catch up to the other teams wait honey honey your flyaways stop okay
16:26all right all right could you take that again
16:45what are you doing are you tying it just tie the cheese
16:55i want to say before um i know you got cancelled smear campaign and everything i just want to say
17:00like from cancel queen to cancel queen like it hurts the soul helps the wallet just if i could give
17:06you
17:06any advice you know who am i to say i'm you know 19. that's it girl come on honey no
17:21no
17:21no plan every footstep but don't hunch you're on camera steady steady
17:28trisha where are you oh there's it you got this trash okay okay
17:40oh my god
17:53oh my god
18:00all right one more thing you're gonna have to get back up and grab the cheese and finish the challenge
18:05okay
18:09she's good she's good
18:18Oh, my God.
18:41Oh, my God.
18:51Woo! Oh, hey.
18:54What are you doing?
18:55Me? Just me?
18:56Yeah.
18:57Oh, nothing.
18:58Or I just came down to get a midnight snack,
19:00but then by the time I got here, I was not hungry anymore
19:02because the house is so big and it took me so long to get down here.
19:04Totally.
19:05What's up with you? What are you doing up?
19:06Just walking the dogs.
19:08Okay. At this hour? That's curious.
19:10Well, when Debra's out of town, they get super anxious
19:13and just, like, shit everywhere.
19:15Oh, sorry. I'm so tired.
19:19Oh.
19:21I gotta go to bed.
19:23But, yeah, it was good to see you.
19:25Good night.
19:26I'm gonna go. This is me. I'm headed this way.
19:28I know. Good night.
19:30Okay, good night. Good night, Damien.
19:32Okay.
19:34Wow.
19:35Now I kind of want a snack.
19:39Somebody help me right now.
19:43Bad situation, babe.
19:46I'm in a bad situation.
19:51God, honey, be careful.
19:54Okay.
19:56That's the last clue.
19:57That means we're the last team.
19:58I have to beat that idiot woman.
20:00We can still make up time, okay?
20:01We can make up time.
20:02Because in this race, the game's not over
20:05until you're standing on that mat
20:06and Phil says you're eliminated.
20:08All right.
20:08It's another roadblock.
20:09Who's got milk?
20:11Who?
20:11Okay, now, sweetie, why don't you sit this one out?
20:13What?
20:13Rest your ankles.
20:14What? No.
20:15Mom, what if it's a food challenge?
20:16We both know you are not going to be caught dead
20:18eating full-fat dairy on camera,
20:19so I will be doing it.
20:20Well, that's true,
20:21but you didn't do so well on the last roadblock.
20:22I did fine.
20:23It was fine.
20:23Mom, this is my dream, all right?
20:25And I said I would be doing the roadblock,
20:26so the rules say that I have to do the roadblock.
20:28Okay.
20:29Okay?
20:29All right.
20:30Milk a goat.
20:31Milk a goat.
20:31Until you have two quarts
20:32when you think you have completed this task,
20:34present your milk to the goat farmer
20:36to receive your next clue.
20:37No problem.
20:38Okay.
20:38All right.
20:39To the right.
20:39To the right.
20:40To the right.
20:42Okay, there it is.
20:42There it is.
20:43You got it.
20:43You got it.
20:44Just grab the gare.
20:48Jesus.
20:49She really is multi-talented.
20:51Aren't these goats so cute?
20:53I'm going to get like six or seven when I get home.
20:55I don't like them.
20:56They're demonic.
20:57Why are their eyes so far apart?
20:59I'm done.
21:00Oh, we're done.
21:01Yay.
21:01Come on.
21:02Good to see you.
21:03Hey, hey.
21:05Don't.
21:05Don't.
21:06Hold on.
21:07Hold on.
21:07Hold on.
21:08Get over there.
21:10Get your boobs easy for me.
21:11DJ, DJ, why don't you watch this?
21:13Watch the nice man.
21:13Do it for a minute before you try.
21:15I don't need to watch the man, okay?
21:16Don't you remember when I had that past life regression therapy and I found out I was a
21:20milkmaid who was secretly a princess?
21:21I got this.
21:22Sure.
21:23You have to hold.
21:25Okay.
21:25Well, she's being a bitch.
21:26That's not, that's not my fault.
21:28Pinch the top of the teat, DJ.
21:29The top of the teat.
21:30Hey, mom.
21:30Hey, mom.
21:31If you could shut up for a second, that would help.
21:33You're distracting me, okay?
21:34What?
21:34The top of the teat?
21:35What does that mean?
21:35Which end is the top?
21:36Just, just watch the guy.
21:38Watch the guy and then do it the way he's doing it.
21:41Don't yell at me.
21:42Shut the fuck up.
21:43I need to watch the guy.
21:44Debra.
21:44It's a roadblock.
21:45You cannot help your partner.
21:46I know, Elise.
21:48Gotta relax into it.
21:50Oh.
21:51Huh?
21:52Huh?
21:53You gotta relax into that past life.
21:55Oh, my God.
22:07Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
22:12Calm down.
22:13It doesn't work, but I will hit you with it.
22:16And don't you dare touch anything in this shop, you harlot.
22:20I remember you.
22:21You threatened to smash a limoge vase to strong army and to sell it to Debra Vance.
22:26I did.
22:26I did do that.
22:27I was in a desperate situation, and I am once again in a desperate situation, but I come
22:33in peace.
22:34I need your help.
22:35Just some information.
22:37Ha!
22:37Go straight to hell.
22:39I'd never help you.
22:40Oh.
22:41That's too bad to hear.
22:44Seems like you've got a lot of, um, inventory around here.
22:48And I did happen to notice some items on your website are heavily discounted.
22:54Maybe times are tough?
22:57Your generation doesn't understand antiques, but it'll come around.
23:01It's always cyclical.
23:03Well, if you want to wait for that to happen, be my guest.
23:06But what if I told you that I could take half your inventory right now at market value?
23:11I wouldn't believe you.
23:12You're lying piece of shit.
23:15That's wise.
23:16I can't.
23:17But I know someone who can.
23:19Marcus!
23:24Sam!
23:25Mr. Vaughn?
23:27You're looking fit?
23:30I'm decorating and furnishing an entire new casino with all vintage pieces.
23:35If you help my friend here, I'm sure we can make a deal.
23:38What's the style?
23:39Art Deco.
23:40Where?
23:40The old Paradiso.
23:41Fabulous.
23:42I need someone who can make me an exact replica of these.
23:50Why would you ask an antiques dealer where you could get a fake?
23:55Well, I seem to remember a certain psychotic bitch telling me that you once fooled her
24:03with a counterfeit Georgiou of sconce.
24:05I remember because she called it the worst betrayal of her life.
24:08Mind you, her husband porked her sister.
24:11So I need to know who your forger is, because he's obviously very good.
24:16Well, lucky for you, you're looking at him.
24:23God, I love this town.
24:26Can I use your bathroom?
24:28No.
24:30I don't see anything.
24:32Well, are you looking?
24:33Of course.
24:34Of course I'm looking.
24:35I don't know.
24:36He'll be running here if I saw him.
24:37Don't be sacked.
24:38Wait, sit down there.
24:39Sit down there.
24:39Look, look, look.
24:40There it is.
24:41Hot.
24:42Finally.
24:42Come on.
24:43Okay, ready?
24:47This will be the one.
24:48This will be the one.
24:49This is it.
24:50Okay, detour.
24:52All right.
24:53Break or dance.
24:54Break.
24:54Enter a room filled with 10,000 Mexican ceramics and smash them on the floor until you find
24:57one containing a clue.
24:59Dance.
24:59Put traditional clown makeup on each other, then learn a clowning dance from a demonstration.
25:03Once you successfully complete the dance to your judge's satisfaction, you will receive
25:06your next clue.
25:07Okay.
25:08Okay.
25:08Okay.
25:09I think we should do the pottery.
25:10What?
25:10I mean, that's simple.
25:11Something any idiot can do.
25:13Why are you gesturing at me?
25:14I'm not.
25:14I'm gesticulating.
25:15I'm Italian.
25:16You're not Italian.
25:17No.
25:17Mom, that'll take forever.
25:18We are already coming in last.
25:20Oh, we are.
25:20We've got to make up time.
25:21If we get the clown dance on the first try, we can pass somebody.
25:24Well, we can get it on the first try.
25:25Why?
25:25Let's just try.
25:28Look, I'm not going to put on clown makeup and do a silly little dance with you.
25:33I will look stupid.
25:37No, you're worried that I'm going to look stupid.
25:39You think I'm going to embarrass myself, don't you?
25:42Well, yes, I do.
25:43I do.
25:43I don't think you're going to learn a clowning routine, and I don't think that you were a
25:46milkmaid in a past life.
25:48A princess who chose to be a milkmaid.
25:52What about your leg?
25:53You cannot dance with that ankle.
25:54What are you talking about?
25:55I just got that steroid shot from the Mexican street doctor.
25:58My tits itch, but my ankle's feeling great.
26:01Do you want a chance at beating that girl?
26:03Yes.
26:04Do you?
26:04Yes.
26:04We're not going to do it standing around smashing pottery for hours.
26:07Yeah, well, think about Grandma's teapot.
26:09You were pretty good about breaking the...
26:10Shut up about Grandma's teapot.
26:14Let's go.
26:21And Charlie.
26:22And Charlie.
26:23And Chaplin.
26:23Ooh, and Charlie.
26:24Oh, my God.
26:24And body roll.
26:26You know how.
26:27Well, I don't know.
26:27Hold on a second.
26:28It's got to be a clown.
26:29Do you look...
26:29How's this?
26:31Ooh!
26:32Finally.
26:33Took us like eight tries, y'all.
26:34It's hard.
26:35Good luck.
26:36Roll down.
26:37Aba, hi.
26:38We're so funny and nice.
26:39Let's go.
26:39We're done.
26:39That was great.
26:40That was great.
26:40That was great.
26:40Thank you, Junior.
26:41That was so fast.
26:42Come on.
26:42We got to...
26:43You.
26:44We'll take you.
26:44Just do it.
26:46Oh, God.
26:46This is...
26:48Uno, dos, tres.
26:51Punta ocho.
26:53Okay.
26:54We got the floor.
26:54We got the floor.
26:55Oh, that was so much fun.
26:56What?
26:57The judges were, like, getting emotional watching us.
26:59It was really sweet to see.
27:00Done.
27:00All right.
27:02Mom, we got to go.
27:02We got to go.
27:03We got to go.
27:04We don't know the dance.
27:05We just have to try.
27:06We are...
27:06We can do it one more time.
27:06Listen to me.
27:07We are in last place.
27:08I know that.
27:09We get this on the first try.
27:10We have a shot.
27:10Mom, look at me.
27:12Let me try.
27:12Please.
27:13Let's go.
27:14Go.
27:14Go.
27:14Go.
27:15Go.
27:23Sorry.
27:24I didn't throw it.
27:24I didn't throw it.
27:25That's my bad.
27:26That's my bad.
27:27Go again.
27:27Go again.
27:32It's the...
27:33I did the wrong foot.
27:34We're good.
27:35You got it?
27:35Yeah.
27:35You know where you went wrong?
27:36Yeah.
27:36Yeah.
27:36Okay.
27:43I kicked it on four.
27:44I kicked it on four.
27:45She kicked it on four.
27:46That I saw.
27:47Start over.
27:47Start over.
27:48Go.
27:48Quick.
27:52Can I help?
27:53I've got it.
27:54I've got it.
27:56No.
27:58Yeah.
28:03No.
28:06Oh, shit.
28:07Fuck.
28:09Come on.
28:10Come on.
28:11Come on.
28:17It's okay.
28:18It's okay.
28:18It's okay.
28:19It's okay.
28:21It's okay.
28:23It's okay.
28:25It's okay.
28:25It's okay.
28:26It's okay.
28:28It's okay.
28:29It's okay.
28:29It's okay.
28:29It's okay.
28:30It's okay.
28:31It's okay.
28:33It's okay.
28:33It's okay.
28:34It's okay.
28:35It's okay.
28:36thought I got at that time. Felt good to me. What was it? Debra and DJ? No, Phil, no, no,
28:41no, no,
28:42not Phil. No, Phil, come on. No, no. Come on. Obviously, I'm here for a reason. I know it's been
28:51a hard couple of days, and DJ, you've had your injury and been struggling with this clown challenge.
28:57I mean, a little bit. You've been here four hours. I know. And all the other teams have checked into
29:02the pit stop. Oh. Debra and DJ, I'm really sorry to tell you that you've been eliminated from the
29:08race. We didn't do it. But you know what we didn't do, actually, Phil? We didn't quit. So you can
29:17hold
29:17your head high. Yeah. You gave it everything. Yeah. Yeah. I know you're upset, but are you pleased you
29:22came on the amazing race? That's the best thing that I've ever done in my whole life. Honestly,
29:28Phil, this race, it challenges every single part of you. That's what I wanted. You know,
29:33I got to milk a goat. I got to see two different cities in Mexico. But most of all, I
29:41got to spend
29:43more time with my mom than I have in years, and that's really all I wanted. You feel like you
29:48really bonded with your mom? Yeah. It was beautiful. You feel the same way, Debra? Yeah. Same.
29:59Um, Phil, can I ask a favor? I can't get you back on the race. No, no, no. I understand.
30:04We're
30:05eliminated. But if I could just take one more crack at this dance, I know I could nail it. Are
30:10you
30:10serious? I'm serious. We got so close this last time. I don't know if you were watching, but we got
30:14so close, didn't we? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, give it another shot. Actually, Mom,
30:22this one's for us. Okay? Okay, we can do this. We can do this. We can do this. Okay.
30:38Oh, fuck me! Fuck! Shit! Just forget it. Just fuck it. You know what? I don't even care. I never
30:43care. I don't care, Phil. Stop fucking filming me. It's done. It's over. Oh! Yeah. Oh, my. Oh. They're just
31:10how I remember them. Good. I can feel her. I can feel Mommy in the pepper shaker. She's
31:18in there. Oh, thank you, Ava. Thank you so much. But how did you convince her? She doesn't
31:27know. I stole them. I don't know what Debra's going to do when she realizes you stole them.
31:33I don't want to know. Yeah. Physical, probably. You must really, really want those rights.
31:42Yeah. Yeah, I do. So, do we have a deal? Yes. Yes, you've earned them. I'll have my lawyer
31:53call Jimmy in the morning. Welcome home, guys. Oh. Oh, I remember boarding groups. Fun.
32:16They never let Aiden and me pre-board because they don't count MMA as military service. Fucking
32:22bullshit. I'm sorry we lost. It's my fault. If you had done the roadblocks, we would have
32:31won. No, you're kind of good at everything and super annoying. No, that's not true. I've
32:37never been good at failing and moving on. I'm proud of you. Now, you let things roll off
32:47your back. During this race, you just threw yourself into everything. You didn't even care
32:52how you looked. Oh, thanks so much, Mom. No, no, that's good. It's good. You're tougher
33:01than me. You are. I mean, I've always cared too much about what people think because I know
33:09how hard it is when people make fun of you or call you crazy like they're doing to me right
33:17now. I think that's why I tried to protect you from all that and why I didn't let you try
33:25trapeze or, you know, release your reggae album or... Go on QVC? Yes. I overcorrected. I didn't let
33:39you try enough because you could have handled it. You're right. You do care what the world thinks.
33:50But I've only ever cared what one person thinks. Who? Phil.
34:06I can't believe this. No, no, no, no. Tell me again. Tell me again. She really said I can feel
34:11for Mommy. Stop laughing. I feel really bad. She cried. This is the best. Oh, my God. Well,
34:22you are an evil bitch. I've never felt closer to you. Well, let's just hope I make you proud
34:29and make a good show so it's worth it. Even if you don't, recently I have warmed up to the
34:36value
34:36of falling flat on your face and embarrassing yourself. Okay, maybe just say you're going to
34:40do great. You're going to do great. Thank you. And we're live in 5, 4, 3, 2... Welcome back, folks.
34:51Okay,
34:52I am thrilled because we have an amazing new designer here with us today. Please welcome Deborah Jr. Vance.
35:03Okay, how many times has your baby reached for your earrings and almost pulled your entire
35:09ear clean off your skull? So many. Well, it's never going to happen again. Do you want to
35:13know why? Detachables. Oh, my God. Because they detach. That's right. No more bloody lobes.
35:22Moms get it. Amazing. Wow, these are flying off the shelf. They are going fast. If you want
35:28your own to jewelry, you better call in now. Oh, and I think we have a call right now.
35:33Oh, because you are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You
36:00baby. Come a long way. Baby. Come a long way. Baby. You know, I hope and I pray that you
36:09believe me. When I say this love will never fade away. Oh, because you are the best thing. You are
36:24the best thing.
36:25You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing.
36:38You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing.
36:39You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing.
36:39You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing.
36:39You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing.
36:39You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You ever happened to me.
36:42You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You ever happened to me.
36:44You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You ever happened to me.
36:47You are the best thing. You are the best thing. You ever happened to me. You are the best thing.
36:55You are the best thing
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