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Court métrageTranscription
00:21:51Et tu, tu n'as pas l'idée, mais tu vas être une f***ing star.
00:21:56Donc, tu perds l'office, parce que tu et moi, nous allons sauver le monde.
00:22:02Avec notre talent.
00:22:03Oh mon Dieu, tu n'as pas l'idée de ce que ça veut moi.
00:22:08Oh, je t'aime, tu t'aime.
00:22:12Tu startes vos focales warm-ups.
00:22:14Yeah.
00:22:15Je vais te donner un deuce.
00:22:16Ok.
00:22:22F***ing Tony Gilroy.
00:22:37Adam?
00:22:39Oh my God.
00:22:41Get it up.
00:22:42Get it up.
00:22:48God.
00:22:51Come here.
00:22:55Closer.
00:23:00My hands hurt so fucking much.
00:23:28Hey, bro.
00:23:29Don't you fucking hate bromee.
00:23:31What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:23:33Nothing.
00:23:34Why?
00:23:34What's wrong with you?
00:23:35I call you a clam diver, and you send an eel to ass-murder Adam Bork?
00:23:39Did something terrible happen at your play rehearsal today?
00:23:42Which is definitely not your job.
00:23:43The lead producer's stepping away.
00:23:45They're shuttering the production.
00:23:47Get it coming.
00:23:49Fucker didn't use my improvs in Donna the Seven.
00:23:51He believed in me, you fuckwit.
00:23:53And for what?
00:23:53Because I fucking upstaged you with O-Father?
00:23:57Here's what's going to happen now.
00:23:59You are going to fucking do whatever I say, whenever I say it.
00:24:03I'm going to tell Homelander you are in some pussy play.
00:24:06Which is a definite conflict of interest since Homelander outlawed the National Endowment for the Arts.
00:24:14You have nothing to say?
00:24:16Nice.
00:24:18You were getting the hang of that Meisner technique, huh?
00:24:28Hey, buddy.
00:24:30Good boy.
00:24:32Good boy.
00:24:34Hey.
00:24:37You want to fuck me?
00:24:39You want to fuck me like a good boy?
00:24:59Hold on.
00:25:01What are you doing?
00:25:01Frenchie won't cook my steak pasipenium rare, and I like mine burnt with ketchup.
00:25:06Okay, and why don't you tell him that?
00:25:08I have.
00:25:10Maybe we just don't like the same steak.
00:25:14You know?
00:25:18Jesus Christ.
00:25:19Has Butcher ever washed this thing?
00:25:21Oh, that thing is, like, glazed in dog semen.
00:25:25Like a cum donut.
00:25:26Cum nut?
00:25:27Did I just invent a new word?
00:25:29You know what?
00:25:29I'm going to do us all a favor and wash this.
00:25:32Terror.
00:25:32Your boyfriend is about to become a virgin all over again.
00:25:35Whew.
00:25:36Good boy.
00:25:56What the fuck is that?
00:25:57You finally building yourself a fuckbot?
00:25:59Something me and Frenchie are working on.
00:26:02Proper preparation and planning, my son.
00:26:05None of my fucking business got it.
00:26:07Yeah, that's the one.
00:26:08Any leads on bombsite?
00:26:09Not a damn thing.
00:26:10Well, he's an unbreakable cunt that flies through the air.
00:26:12How hard can it be?
00:26:13Well, if it's so easy, why don't you look for him?
00:26:16I've hit every single dead end and then some.
00:26:19How about legend?
00:26:20That old bastard knows everyone.
00:26:22He's in the wind.
00:26:23If I had as much shit on Vod as he did, I'd fuck off too.
00:26:27Oh, shit.
00:26:28Wait, wait, wait.
00:26:29Hey, Terror, no.
00:26:30Hey, get down.
00:26:31Good boy.
00:26:32Good boy.
00:26:33Wait, wait, wait, no.
00:26:35You can't have no chocolate, mate.
00:26:36Yeah, get your own chocolate.
00:26:44What?
00:26:45Free Mississippi rule.
00:26:47Bloody hell.
00:26:48I never thought I'd see the day.
00:26:49It's got a fucking pubic ear on it and all.
00:26:51Tasty, too.
00:26:53Hmm?
00:26:56You know what's funny?
00:26:59Here we are, parked in the middle of hell, and I've never slept or shit so good my entire
00:27:06life.
00:27:06What's different?
00:27:07Well, like you, I just finally realized that I'm already dead.
00:27:13And once I just gave up that stress of needing to stay alive, it's like shit got easier.
00:27:22You know, I spent my whole life going after Soulja Boy for what he did to my family.
00:27:27Yet, he's immortal?
00:27:32What kind of fucking cosmic joke is that?
00:27:36So you tell me, Butcher.
00:27:39Why should I keep going?
00:27:41Well, you keep going from Monique to Janine.
00:27:45They're better off without me.
00:27:47How can a man so smart be so fucking daft?
00:27:49They are.
00:27:51And I'm better off without them.
00:27:54Because if I thought that there was a snowball's chance in hell, that I might see him again,
00:28:02then I might be too scared to do what you and me both need me to do.
00:28:27Oh, bonsoir, mon tutu.
00:28:30You wonder what am I doing?
00:28:33Well, first, I made Kimiko the perfect French ribeye.
00:28:39You know, she loves my steak.
00:28:42And for dessert, my soufflé en chocolate.
00:28:46It's a thing of legend.
00:28:55You know, she wants one of you, too.
00:28:59I don't know.
00:29:00What is it that you do?
00:29:03Eat, sleep, or fetch?
00:29:06Ha-ha.
00:29:07I stir the wall.
00:29:08You bring it back.
00:29:10I stir the wall.
00:29:11You bring it back.
00:29:13It's a nightmare of futility.
00:29:16What would I do with one of you?
00:29:17Oh, I've killed every plant I've owned.
00:29:21I'll surely kill you, too.
00:29:24Really?
00:29:28She deserves peace.
00:29:32A normal life.
00:29:35But I...
00:29:41I don't know how to give her this.
00:29:46If I even can.
00:29:52Oh, la, la, la, la, la.
00:29:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:01Oh, fut de brunt.
00:30:08I need fresh air.
00:30:09You want to come?
00:30:10Out ahead?
00:30:12No?
00:30:13Okay.
00:30:19If you and M.M. still think...
00:30:21Oh, for fuck's sakes, Huey.
00:30:22Knock it off with this V1 shite.
00:30:23You're doing me fucking that in.
00:30:26Oi.
00:30:27Terror.
00:30:28Cut it out.
00:30:29Come on.
00:30:30Now, listen.
00:30:31If we do find that stuff,
00:30:32we're not making any fucking vaccines out of it, all right?
00:30:35We're not the Department of Fucking Health.
00:30:36We burn this shit before Homelander gets his paws on it,
00:30:39and that's it.
00:30:40Well, if you want to kill yourself,
00:30:41knock yourself out,
00:30:42but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
00:30:43Oh, because I'm fucking right.
00:30:45Because I've always been right.
00:30:47I've been telling you lot,
00:30:48from the fucking start,
00:30:49the sky has fallen.
00:30:50And guess what?
00:30:51The sky fucking fell.
00:30:53Well, you kind of helped bring it down.
00:30:54Oh, don't give me that bollocks.
00:30:56Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fucking god.
00:30:59Once he becomes a mortal,
00:31:01he's going to start killing like one,
00:31:03and we are talking millions of people.
00:31:05Now, are you telling me
00:31:06you're honestly happy
00:31:08to risk all of that
00:31:09for a life on the run with your girl,
00:31:12knowing
00:31:13that you could have stopped it?
00:31:17You can live with that, can't you?
00:31:21What if it was Becca?
00:31:24You just let her die?
00:31:32I did let her die.
00:31:34Look,
00:31:36I know that Homelander comes first.
00:31:39I really do.
00:31:41All I'm asking
00:31:42is that we try.
00:31:45Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.
00:31:50Hey, Tara, no.
00:31:53Hey, get out of there.
00:31:55Oh, bloody hell.
00:31:55Is that chocolate?
00:31:56Isn't chocolate bad for dogs?
00:31:58For a dog, the soda's fucking lethal.
00:31:59Hey, pressure, you cunt.
00:32:01Get me some hydrogen peroxide, would you?
00:32:03Okay, we have some in the first aid kit.
00:32:04Give me one second.
00:32:05What happened?
00:32:06You poisoned me fucking dog.
00:32:08No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:32:10Look, all you need is charcoal.
00:32:12We should call a vet.
00:32:13They're going to tell you you need charcoal.
00:32:14Guys, we got this.
00:32:14Just give us some room.
00:32:15I'll hold his mouth open.
00:32:16You pour, right?
00:32:17On the count of three.
00:32:18One, two, three.
00:32:20Sorry, buddy.
00:32:21Hang out.
00:32:24That's all right, all right.
00:32:29Oh, that's it.
00:32:30That's a good boy.
00:32:31All right.
00:32:32You're going to be all right, boy.
00:32:35Fucking hell.
00:32:40Hey, you want some turkey?
00:32:45Well, first you've got to fuck me, then I'll give you the turkey.
00:32:56Hey.
00:32:58Hey.
00:32:59There he is, eh?
00:33:01Hey.
00:33:02Were you having a dream, were you?
00:33:04Was it a goodie?
00:33:08How's he doing?
00:33:09Yeah.
00:33:10He's all right.
00:33:12Thank you for, uh...
00:33:14Ouais, c'est all good.
00:33:27Oi, Yui.
00:33:34Listen, uh...
00:33:35If we do find that B1,
00:33:38and if it don't fuck us,
00:33:42you can have some.
00:33:46For Annie and the...
00:33:48I'm coming home.
00:33:50What about you?
00:33:53Oi, but as soon as Frenchie's got that shite sorted,
00:33:56we're using it, all right?
00:33:58Ready or not?
00:34:12What are you looking at?
00:34:16Nothing.
00:34:21And as for you,
00:34:23don't you ever fucking do that to me again, all right?
00:34:26Good boy.
00:34:29Now, I caught Blondie trying to give you wet plus the boil wash.
00:34:33But I know how you love the crunchy bits.
00:34:36Yes, I do.
00:34:37I know how you love those crunchy bits.
00:34:38Yeah.
00:34:51You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
00:34:58Local law can handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
00:35:02All right.
00:35:02Well, recall all the soups stationed overseas.
00:35:05American heroes should be protecting America,
00:35:07not who gives a fuck a stand.
00:35:10Great idea.
00:35:22Where to?
00:35:23Crime analytics.
00:35:30That was thrilling, wasn't it?
00:35:34What a bright future we have ahead of us.
00:35:37It was a real Gucci-oni piss party.
00:35:41Imagine how much more exciting it'll be when Homelander becomes immortal.
00:35:45Who?
00:35:47Have you found Livy Ward?
00:35:51No.
00:35:53Homelander hasn't gotten anything out of Stan Edgar.
00:35:56No.
00:35:56But I haven't had a crack at him yet.
00:36:09Just give me a little personal space, will ya, Garth?
00:36:13Mm, 24-7 agents must be hard for someone so into scat play.
00:36:17You realize I do actually work.
00:36:19I was this close to convincing the FCC
00:36:21to pull every broadcast license but VNN.
00:36:24Homelander feels this is more important.
00:36:28What now?
00:36:29The president and I stand by this decision.
00:36:32We need our American soups here in America.
00:36:35Well, isn't it kind of, sort of, your fault for being invaded?
00:36:38You might as well have been wearing a short skirt.
00:36:40Man, those Ukrainians sure have a fucking mouth on them.
00:36:45Remember, you're doing the Lord's work.
00:36:47Word's out. VOD's stock is tanking.
00:36:49The international markets are in free fall
00:36:51and you're not the least bit concerned.
00:36:53It's not about what I think.
00:36:55It's what the man wants.
00:36:58It's always what the man wants.
00:37:05You want a drink?
00:37:07So we're at the climate change summit in Reykjavik
00:37:09when the Swiss chancellor says we should all race our Gulf Streams.
00:37:13The amount of CO2 we splooched out,
00:37:15the air was chewy the next day.
00:37:17Lolz.
00:37:22Come on.
00:37:23What do you want from me, Sage?
00:37:25What makes you think I want anything from you?
00:37:26You haven't called me the poster child
00:37:28for a late-term abortion once today.
00:37:30Truth be told, you're not the one I want.
00:37:33I know you know what Homelander's doing.
00:37:36He's going after the V1.
00:37:37Wait, what?
00:37:38And if he gets any.
00:37:40He lives forever.
00:37:41What is V1?
00:37:42And what do you mean Homelander lives forever?
00:37:45I've done what I can to make sure he doesn't find any.
00:37:47How do you know about this and I don't?
00:37:50Have you two been talking without me?
00:37:53Homelander is an open baby book,
00:37:55but Soldier Boy is tricky.
00:37:56I need you to read his mind.
00:37:57What he knows, where they're headed next,
00:37:59and, most importantly,
00:38:00if Soldier Boy is warming up to his sadistic regret.
00:38:05Okay, I'm in.
00:38:06The fuck you are?
00:38:08We are not conspiring against Homelander.
00:38:10Hey, don't forget the Aung San Suu Kyi quote
00:38:12tramp stamped on our ass.
00:38:14The only real prison is fear.
00:38:16No, the only real prison is prison.
00:38:18Ashley, what do you think happens to you if I die?
00:38:22I'm not about to risk my neck
00:38:23because I let an overgrown boil do my thinking for me.
00:38:27Okay, fine. Just stay.
00:38:28Why? So you can play more mind games?
00:38:31You gave me your answer. I heard you.
00:38:33Now, don't make me drink alone.
00:38:39I'm starving.
00:38:40Are you starving?
00:38:41I'd kill for a chalupa right now.
00:38:43I'd kill for a big, juicy dick.
00:38:45Oh, we should call Gavin. His girth was amazing.
00:38:48And, oh, man, the amount of spunk he shot back here.
00:38:50We looked like Pepe Le Pew.
00:38:51We are not booty-calling my high school boyfriend.
00:38:54But he was so sweet.
00:38:55And Mom loved him, remember?
00:38:56Yeah, well, Mom's dead, so she doesn't get a say.
00:38:58And neither do you.
00:39:00What happened to her?
00:39:01Cancer.
00:39:03My grandmother, too.
00:39:04What was she like?
00:39:06Your mother.
00:39:08Tiny.
00:39:10Terrifying.
00:39:12This one bitch, Harper Hewitt, used to make fun of my nose.
00:39:15So my mom tells Mr. Hewitt that Mrs. Hewitt has been railing the UPS guy,
00:39:20which she was.
00:39:21That was Mom, bringing a nuke to a knife fight.
00:39:27So they moved.
00:39:29And the rest of kindergarten was no sweat.
00:39:32My folks shot me up with V, thinking I'd be a meal ticket.
00:39:36And then my power turned out to be smarts.
00:39:39Which is the worst fucking one.
00:39:40Try knowing what everyone really thinks of you all day.
00:39:43Ooh, trust me.
00:39:44The thing people hate more than just about anything is feeling stupid.
00:39:49So when a three-year-old corrects your grammar, or, oh, tells them their life dream yogurt shop
00:39:56is doomed to fail, they start to hate you, too.
00:39:59At least my parents did.
00:40:00Until they dumped me at my grandmas.
00:40:02But grandma.
00:40:04You know, she was the only one who ever thought it was a gift.
00:40:08I would quote Othello to her, word for word, and, and she'd clap.
00:40:14And laugh her big laugh.
00:40:19I'm still so pissed she is gone.
00:40:23I used to want to be like my mom.
00:40:27Strong.
00:40:28Pushy as fuck.
00:40:29Didn't take shit from anyone.
00:40:31You still can.
00:40:34If you help me.
00:40:38Fuck you.
00:40:40You knew about my mom the whole time.
00:40:41You drew it out of me just to soften me up.
00:40:44Did it work?
00:40:44No.
00:40:45This is my fucking problem with you.
00:40:47I know you've been working some big plan all year.
00:40:49How am I supposed to trust you if I'm just a pawn in your fucked up chess game?
00:40:53All right.
00:40:55If I tell you, will you help me?
00:40:58I would heavily consider it.
00:41:00Helping Homelander take control of the country is phase one.
00:41:04It was only ever the beginning.
00:41:05Phase two is the end.
00:41:07The end of what?
00:41:08The world.
00:41:10After this soup-killing virus is released.
00:41:13Wait, you want it released?
00:41:14Oh, you bet I do.
00:41:16After soups you realize humans are behind it, all hell will break loose.
00:41:21Soups butchering humans.
00:41:23Virus butchering soups.
00:41:25Fucking world war soup.
00:41:26I don't believe you.
00:41:28Swear on my grandma's soul.
00:41:30Why would you possibly want that?
00:41:32Because I'll be watching from my cozy bunker outside Colorado Springs.
00:41:36And when it's all over, I can read all day every day.
00:41:41No one bothering me.
00:41:44Nothing but peace and quiet forever.
00:41:49Which is why Homelander can't survive.
00:41:52That needy asshole would never give me a moment's rest.
00:41:55And defeats the whole purpose.
00:41:58Don't worry.
00:41:59You're invited to my bunker.
00:42:01You too, Ashley.
00:42:10Would you like some knee pads?
00:42:12Sorry, what?
00:42:13You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog.
00:42:18So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
00:42:21Go easy on the little guy.
00:42:23He brought me Stan Edgar.
00:42:24Thank you, sir.
00:42:25You may leave.
00:42:37What crawled up your shithole?
00:42:39No idea what you mean.
00:42:41When you're pissy,
00:42:43you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too.
00:42:47Stan Edgar?
00:42:48Still stonewalling you?
00:42:49I've talked to him three times now.
00:42:51Says he has no idea where the V1 is.
00:42:53Heart rate steady as a rock.
00:42:55I'm starting to believe him.
00:42:57That slippery fuck used to fetch my cocaine.
00:43:02You know what?
00:43:04I have an idea.
00:43:08Why don't I take a crack at him?
00:43:12What, you don't trust me?
00:43:13Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material
00:43:17and tried to stop me getting the V1.
00:43:20So I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
00:43:24You could have killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't.
00:43:28Maybe I feel like I owe you.
00:43:29Well, maybe you're lying.
00:43:31Maybe.
00:43:37Give me an hour.
00:43:39I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.
00:43:51My, my.
00:43:52Now the mighty have fucked themselves square in the ass.
00:43:57Don't shit where you eat, Stan.
00:43:59So you've called in reinforcements?
00:44:00I wanted to see the prick that sold me out to the Reds.
00:44:03It wasn't personal.
00:44:04It was a business decision.
00:44:05We had your replacement model on the way.
00:44:08Even as a toddler, Homelander showed more promise than you ever did.
00:44:13Not that it amounted to much.
00:44:16When have you ever done anything remotely interesting or original?
00:44:22My power is absolute, Stan.
00:44:27At heights no one's even dreamed of.
00:44:30I'd call that pretty fucking original.
00:44:32Nothing that the lowest speck of this pointless species couldn't have thought of
00:44:36were they to be granted your level of power.
00:44:39Why am I still alive?
00:44:44Because you're useful, Stan.
00:44:47And I always wanted a pet.
00:44:49Perhaps.
00:44:50Or is it because you are so desperate for daddy figures
00:44:53that you can't even bring yourself to kill the ones who hate you?
00:44:57At least that's something he and I have in common.
00:45:01Do you want to die, Stan?
00:45:15Is that supposed to mean something?
00:45:18Well, I had the eggheads and crime analytics
00:45:19track down your granddaughter, Zoe, and her dad.
00:45:24They're in Tempe, Arizona.
00:45:30So, where is the V1?
00:45:35As I told you, I genuinely don't know.
00:45:46But I may know someone who does.
00:45:49You should go and see Mr. Marathon in L.A.
00:45:52He's always had an intense interest in Vaught's history.
00:45:57It should be a delightful reunion.
00:46:04Hooray for Hollywood
00:46:06That screwy, ballyhoo-y Hollywood
00:46:09Go out and try your luck
00:46:11You might be Donald Duck
00:46:13Hooray for Hollywood
00:46:15Homelander, it's really, uh, really good to see you.
00:46:18Um, why?
00:46:19But, uh, you know, what brings you by?
00:46:20Relax.
00:46:21We're just here to talk.
00:46:22Yeah, great.
00:46:23Awesome.
00:46:23Soldier boy.
00:46:24Wow.
00:46:25Big fan, sir.
00:46:25I actually, uh, popped my cherry in your underoos.
00:46:28Nice.
00:46:30So you were part of the seven?
00:46:31I was, I was.
00:46:32You know, until this one replaced me with A-train.
00:46:35Check it out.
00:46:35Come on.
00:46:37Well, you're only the world's fastest man
00:46:39as long as you're the world's fastest man, champ.
00:46:41And you got slow.
00:46:42It was one race.
00:46:43You never gave me the chance to win it back, boss.
00:46:50Hey, check this one out.
00:46:52Gross 35 mil.
00:46:53On a 200 million dollar budget.
00:46:55These aren't even VOD films.
00:46:56What's the difference?
00:46:57These were made where washed up soups go to die.
00:47:00Sony Pictures TV.
00:47:02It's a legit studio.
00:47:03And I save half on their TVs.
00:47:06And maybe we're not part of the official VCU
00:47:08and maybe we can't mention VOD
00:47:09or, you know, any licensed VOD hero.
00:47:12But, hey, still making magic.
00:47:15That and I, uh, I sling a little bit.
00:47:17On the side, low pills, Ozemak, whatever you need.
00:47:19Fastest dealer in town.
00:47:21All right, come on.
00:47:22The gang will be psyched to meet you.
00:47:28Did you guys hear?
00:47:29They rounded up Aziz, Macaulay, Joaquin, Kiefer, Meryl.
00:47:33I also heard they got Benedict.
00:47:35Wong or Cumberbatch?
00:47:36Both.
00:47:37I know, dude.
00:47:38What the fuck, Mel Chemical?
00:47:39Get your boys in check, huh?
00:47:40Just because I'm a soup
00:47:41doesn't mean I truck in that fascist shit.
00:47:42We need to do something.
00:47:44Counterpoint, why?
00:47:45Because we're storytellers, dude.
00:47:47Our superpower is we inspire hearts and minds.
00:47:50Look at the characters we create.
00:47:51Luke Skywalker, Katniss,
00:47:53Gandhi.
00:47:54Oh, bitch, please.
00:47:55Come on, like Mark Hamill, J-Law, and Sir Ben Kingsley
00:47:58do anything but collect their fucking residuals.
00:48:00They're very engaged.
00:48:02Look, here's what we do.
00:48:03We all post about this simultaneously on Instagram.
00:48:07Yes.
00:48:07Black squares on the main feed.
00:48:09Black Lives Matter did black squares.
00:48:10Fuck.
00:48:11You're right.
00:48:11We do blue squares on the grid.
00:48:13Because blue lives matter.
00:48:14I wouldn't post that.
00:48:16Is there any color that hasn't been taken by some fucking group?
00:48:19What about white?
00:48:20Well...
00:48:21Oh, ooh, ooh.
00:48:22I'll get Lena Dunham to write an editorial for The Atlantic.
00:48:25Oh, yeah.
00:48:25That'll really...
00:48:26People, that has great readership.
00:48:28She's a great writer.
00:48:28She's very persuasive.
00:48:29Whatever fuck stinks.
00:48:31Look, best day of my life was when they executed Hater.
00:48:34Right?
00:48:34More offer onlys for the forte.
00:48:37Hey, do we think Michael Cera's a starlighter?
00:48:38Because we're up for the same part right now.
00:48:40And it'd be pretty good if you got Vanished.
00:48:41We've been friends with him for 20 years, Chris.
00:48:43Yeah, but I really need this part, man.
00:48:45Oh, no.
00:48:46Oh, no.
00:48:47What's up?
00:48:48Homelander.
00:48:49Soldier Boy.
00:48:50Wow.
00:48:50I'm Will.
00:48:51Remember me?
00:48:52I'm the one who turned in Channing Tatum.
00:48:57Seth Rogen.
00:48:58We actually met once before with Black Noir, the premiere for Silent Vengeance 3, Vengeance
00:49:03Reloaded.
00:49:05Big fan.
00:49:06I'm actually testifying in front of Congress for you, you know.
00:49:08Outing suspected starlighters.
00:49:10Spoiler alert.
00:49:11Post Malone.
00:49:13You need to get the fuck away from me right now.
00:49:15You bet.
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:17We came here looking for something.
00:49:19What do you know about V1?
00:49:23You come to the right place.
00:49:33Here you go.
00:49:37Oh, yeah.
00:49:38Vought yanked that one from the newsstands after Kent State.
00:49:42Good times.
00:49:44How'd you end up with it?
00:49:45Some old bitch on eBay.
00:49:46I paid 20 bucks.
00:49:48I mean, it'd go for half a mil at auction.
00:49:50Easy.
00:49:59Yeah, Dr. Vought was a titan.
00:50:01A visionary.
00:50:03He was a pansy.
00:50:04With a German accent and sweaty palms.
00:50:07He was a complicated guy.
00:50:15Do you or do you not have V1?
00:50:21I don't.
00:50:23But Bombside does.
00:50:24He does.
00:50:26That piece of shit's still alive.
00:50:28Yeah.
00:50:28He was my best customer for a long time.
00:50:30What makes you think he has it?
00:50:31One night he was tweaked out of his gourd and he told me he has some and I believe him.
00:50:36Where is he?
00:50:36Me and Bombside are so cool.
00:50:37Why don't we all just hang out for a sec and I'll call him.
00:50:40He'll fly right over.
00:50:49Let's get this up in Bogota where you're taking a pass.
00:50:51I mean, for the soldier boy?
00:50:54Nothing but the best.
00:51:00Seth?
00:51:02Oh, no.
00:51:03I actually hate weed.
00:51:04I just pretend to like it from my brand so I can sell ashtrays to suckers.
00:51:11Yo, Homelander.
00:51:13You want to hit this?
00:51:15It is my life goal to smoke you out, homie.
00:51:20Don't call me that.
00:51:24Homelander.
00:51:25It's good to see you again.
00:51:30Do I know you?
00:51:31Yeah.
00:51:31We met like six times.
00:51:33Malchemical.
00:51:34Make deadly gases.
00:51:36Did that whole campaign with gas sex.
00:51:42That's embarrassing.
00:51:44Homelander is still as weird as he was when I was there.
00:51:47Well, I wasn't there back then, but yes.
00:51:50Let's get this one.
00:51:51One time at Lidu, Misha Barton wanted to suck him off, right?
00:51:54He spent two hours talking to her about Nietzsche, then left when she stepped on his cape.
00:51:58Oh, that fucking cape.
00:52:00Like a baby with a blanket.
00:52:02I'm pretty sure he jerks off into it.
00:52:04Probably why it's so stiff.
00:52:05Say that again.
00:52:10Oh, can't you take a fucking joke?
00:52:15Say it again.
00:52:18I thought as much.
00:52:19If Bonsai's not coming, I'm leaving.
00:52:21No, he's on his way.
00:52:22Be here any minute.
00:52:23That's where.
00:52:27Nah, I'm done.
00:52:31Oh, shit.
00:52:31By the way.
00:52:33Hey.
00:52:34I heard you all.
00:52:35And I want you all to know that very soon, gentlemen, you are going to pay for your sick posts
00:52:41and your hateful memes.
00:52:43Especially the memes.
00:52:48No, no, no, no.
00:52:49It was Camille and Seth's idea.
00:52:51What?
00:52:51I was against you.
00:52:52Fuck you, Forte.
00:52:52It was fucking his idea, man.
00:52:54If he is just sucking your dick so you can help his shitty fucking career.
00:52:57Take them, okay?
00:52:58Shit, I'll take them out for you right now.
00:52:59Oh, really?
00:53:00Yeah.
00:53:00You want to take me, bitch?
00:53:01I'm fucking yoked.
00:53:02Shut up, Forte.
00:53:03Forte, you're making this worse.
00:53:04Everybody stop!
00:53:06We really should round up Michael Cera.
00:53:11Hold on.
00:53:12Sorry, quick question.
00:53:14What?
00:53:15Oh, for fuck's sake.
00:53:23Who's memorable now?
00:53:24What the fuck?
00:53:25Easy, easy, easy.
00:53:26Can we fuck off, please?
00:53:27Joe, MacGruber, everything is cool.
00:53:29Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you.
00:53:30Honest.
00:53:31But, but, but, but, fuck this fucking guy.
00:53:33You know, he fucked my life.
00:53:35If you help us get rid of him, then we all win.
00:53:37And you, you can have the seven.
00:53:40And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
00:53:42I don't need to kill him to get the seven.
00:53:44No, yeah, of course not.
00:53:45But what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church?
00:53:47I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool.
00:53:49All the hookers, the drug dealers.
00:53:51They want to ban porn.
00:53:52I mean, they want to ban fucking abortions.
00:53:55Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
00:53:58Exactly, for all of us.
00:54:00So if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos.
00:54:06You know, we can go back to fucking and being fucking awesome.
00:54:10Look, we know you've got that fucked up chest blast thing.
00:54:13I mean, I was at hero gas and I saw it.
00:54:15Just finish him now.
00:54:16Take away his powers so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance.
00:54:27He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
00:54:29Yeah, yeah.
00:54:31But as much as it pains me to say this,
00:54:34he's my fucking asexual weirdo.
00:54:41Nobody fucks my son but me.
00:54:43What?
00:54:44That came out wrong.
00:54:57Oh, fuck.
00:55:08Danny Treo needs to stick to acting.
00:55:10The top will just fuck my shit up.
00:55:13Soldier boy!
00:55:17911, what's your emergency?
00:55:19Yeah, please send police right now.
00:55:20Wait, what is the address?
00:55:21I don't know the address.
00:55:22Do you know the address?
00:55:23I don't know the address.
00:55:24Oh, fuck.
00:55:25Fuck.
00:55:25Don't kill me.
00:55:26Shut up.
00:55:26Shut up.
00:55:27I'm not going to kill you.
00:55:28I'm going to get you out of here,
00:55:29but you need to do exactly as I say.
00:55:38Go.
00:55:38Go.
00:55:39Oh!
00:55:43Fuck!
00:55:54No!
00:55:55No!
00:55:56No!
00:56:03What'd you do to me, man?
00:56:05Seth!
00:56:07Fuck!
00:56:08Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:56:09Is it bad?
00:56:11Well, uh, I didn't mean to.
00:56:13I don't want to die, man.
00:56:16It's going to be okay.
00:56:16I'll remember you every time I watch in American Pickle.
00:56:21What?
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