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Hacks - Season 5 Episode 5 -
D'Amazing Race
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D'Amazing Race
tele: https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1
#film#shows#usa#usashows#hot#filmhot
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FunTranscript
00:06look at that speed damian he's talking at nine miles per hour oh let's get his info
00:14the harris team is looking good they were the laughingstock of the hospitality olympics last
00:18year but they've really turned things around they've got a strong anchor yeah she's quick
00:24but i worry about precision we're only staffing the best of the best at the dealer
00:28oh is that what you're calling the casino the diva i like that diva
00:38oh look at that little one he lets the sock of the vacuum pull him he'll be less prone to
00:44injury
00:46smart
00:52okay son i like his passion no can't do it horrible at trivia
00:57call it call it right yes who do you think you are i am i am ray motherfuckers
01:04we did good come on let's go you need to be perfect work for this work for this this is
01:10where a hotel
01:11succeeds or fails a well-made bed it's almost all there is look at him in the vest i like
01:17the way
01:17he handles a top sheet go sophie go go i do not want to bring you tonight prove me wrong
01:22he's a
01:23surgeon quick but measured efficient but not careless fold that talk hospital quarters we went over there
01:32sophie jesus christ check check
01:37oh yes
01:44i am the best spin breaker in the world
01:50girl i see you okay
01:54moment of truth
01:57yes good girl
01:58see i'm on your side girl
02:01you know what i miss go fish mom mom hi guys mom i need you oh no honey is aden
02:09leaving you
02:09this is what men do they leave okay you got to make sure that all the vehicles are in your
02:14name
02:15no are they no no no no are they mom they're finally doing celebrity amazing race oh remember
02:23you said that you would go on it with me if they ever made it oh oh yeah no dj
02:28you know that i gagged
02:29i can't do any tv no performing for months nice try i called your lawyer you called steward well
02:35that's what you get for suing me for criminal negligence for breaking grandma's teapot okay
02:38stewart and i have developed a lovely working relationship and he says you're in the clear
02:42as long as this season airs after the non-compete expires and it does so suck it no you are
02:49not
02:49allowed to do a reality show that has always been our rule mom this is really important to me okay
02:54you
02:54know it's important to me amazing race got me sober excuse me i think four hundred thousand
03:01dollars worth of rehab got you sober nope that failed episodes of the amazing race got me through
03:06some really dark times okay phil kogan is my higher power and you promised me that if i got sober
03:11we
03:12would go on together okay okay you're right now think about it yeah think about it but i need an
03:17answer
03:18by five o'clock okay plus if we win we get a million dollars which covers my allowance for the
03:23year well
03:23honey i i think all that money goes to charity oh really ah that's so stupid you know what i'm
03:30sure
03:30there's a workaround i still want to do it i'm gonna go practice driving on the wrong side of the
03:33road christ yeah look i don't think it's the worst thing in the world for you to go on a
03:39reality show
03:40i mean there'll be a big announcement revealing the cast and you can get him to plug msg in the
03:44press release you know she's right reality shows do give celebrities fresh relevance that's true
03:50but the problem with reality shows is you cannot control the narrative i mean that's why i've turned
03:55down andy cohen more than every twink on fire island and they can make you look however they want i
03:59mean
04:00don't worry about me but i mean they could really make dj look like a fool i mean she doesn't
04:04seem
04:05to worry to me yeah and having her as my teammate would probably be out on the first leg i
04:11could be
04:12home in a week you do need to sell tickets well guess it looks like i'm doing the amazing race
04:19girl i cannot wait to watch your ass it's gonna be great
04:29oh that's bad too food waste is so depressing you know this is the fourth blackout we've had this year
04:37it's the sixth two happened during separate 12-hour naps you were taking not sleeps naps and you slept
04:44those nights too it's even worse they got him such a good napper i'd be even more stressed out about
04:50the climate crisis and don't monitor my sleep it's private but it's fascinating
05:00jimbo what's up hey so i just finished lunch with jessica duncan and i have great news
05:05she loves the who's making dinner idea she wants to hear it are you serious yeah she flipped out
05:11it are you peeing what call me back if you're peeing i can talk to you in a second no
05:14i i'm
05:15making coffee i although i i have peed bo around the phone before okay um anyway i want to get
05:21you
05:21and deborah in a room with her is ever excited because this could be really big um i have not
05:26yet i haven't talked to deborah yet well you need to asap also i do need to flag one issue
05:33with the
05:33rights apparently when frank died he left them to kathy please tell me you mean to jimmy why would i
05:39mean
05:39kathy and jimmy now kathy her sister the one who hates her i even tried to grease the wheels i
05:44gave
05:44her a call today but she wanted to get off the phone because she said i was quote an enabler
05:47of
05:48her abuser who which i think is unfair but you know what we all have our narrative so whatever
05:52whatever to her she's a fucking bitch okay well uh i'll i'll talk to deborah let me know what our
05:58girl says and if she is not happy don't tell me just internalize it
06:05i think you're packing too much stuff you really have room for six rolls of toilet paper
06:09oh you can't just downgrade your toilet tissue out of nowhere i haven't had time to build up any
06:14kind of a tolerance it's a shock to the system i mean you can go to the hospital totally um
06:19hey while
06:20i have you so you know how i have that blind script deal well um i i figured out what
06:27i want to do
06:29uh i want to reboot who's making dinner oh um yeah it would take place in the same house but
06:35instead
06:35of a young couple it would follow some uh gen z friends who have to all live together to afford
06:40it
06:40i could pitch it and then you could just like totally rewrite it if you wanted to like just whichever
06:44whichever version works for you i feel like yeah done with but um i just wanted to run it by
06:48you
06:48because i really i really don't want to do a reboot of who's making dinner oh okay but you should
06:57no no no no i i i wouldn't want to do it without you no no no i i'm moving
07:02forward with the garden
07:03but i give you my blessing are you sure i mean i know it's like triggering for you when people
07:12rewrite your story well i would trust you to do it
07:20thanks i won't let you down i know but you know i don't have the rights so i can't help
07:26you with that
07:42look at that headshot it's at least 20 years old we have two offers already and two others are
07:50writing so if you're interested i suggest you come in aggressively okay great thanks
07:58what the hell are you doing here nice bones kathy not you the house how did you find me do
08:05you still
08:05have that p.i following me p.i what p.i he died is there somewhere we can sit if
08:14we must
08:18i was surprised you weren't at the christening what we we both were i'm aj's godmother i am aj's god
08:26oh god dj must have had two christenings you want to alternate months
08:34so um listen i know why you're here i talked to jimmy against the advice of my healer
08:40deborah you are not getting the rise to that show the thing is they're not they're not for debbrother
08:44for me huh sure no really they are what are you going to do with them nothing well you didn't
08:50know
08:51that i journal so what's your price you obviously need the money i don't remember you having a passion
08:56for selling real estate you weren't even good at playing house well you always made me be the maid
09:01well you were a natural i'm surprised you could remember anything at all i read that you had a
09:07psychotic break live on air no surprise there hope you're getting help just like you got help in the
09:1390s with prozac how did you i had dj go through your trash like a good little girl okay my
09:17sisters
09:19let's turn the volume down kathy is there anything we could do to change your mind well
09:28there is one thing no no let's go what when we were little our mother had these salt and pepper
09:35shakers do not waste your breath they were cherubic porcelain little blonde girls she used to say they
09:41looked exactly like us we loved them that's why we started shaker collections of our own then when mom
09:47passed deborah stole them from me i never stole them mom said she always wanted me to have them
09:52i'll give you the rights if you give me back the shakers which is never gonna happen see she's
09:57deliberately crushing your dreams it's sadistic really this woman is sick this woman is sick
10:07let's leave okay don't even think about coming back without those shakers
10:15oh windows cracked candles are lit there's mold run run
10:25hello i'm sorry i would pay anything i just can't i can't do that i get it i get it
10:32it's okay thank you for
10:46trying
10:47amazing race contestants take your places please
10:53oh my god this is the best day of my life thank you so much for doing this well you're
10:57welcome
10:57sweetie but just remember our deal okay you're representing the family yeah so went on camera
11:02mm-hmm no swearing right no unladylike behavior no talking back okay when in doubt ask yourself
11:08wwmd what would mommy do yes what would mommy do don't talk back i didn't i talked with we said
11:16the
11:16same thing okay hey everyone yes i would officially like to welcome you all to the amazing race
11:27now since this is our first celebrity race why don't we just talk a little bit about why you were
11:33taking part drew and jonathan what inspired you to be here today well we love to compete so not if
11:40but when we win very confident yeah yeah okay we're gonna be donating our prize money to the alzheimer's
11:46association we have a family member who died from alzheimer's so we're going on this journey for the
11:51patients and doctors who are running the much harder race the one for a cure okay that's a
11:56great cause great cause yeah yeah yeah now uh jr and richard we are playing for the united negro
12:03college fund right who also support hbcus throughout the country yeah and the million
12:08dollars that we are going to win correct that's just a fraction of the 26 million dollars that the
12:13united negro college fund donates every single year to scholarships awesome another great cause
12:20now what about you deborah and dj vents i'm here to promote my comeback show
12:25at madison square garden september 11th
12:30okay uh how about we get this race started everybody
12:36are you ready for your life changing adventure yes we are let's go good luck travel safe
12:51oh this is gonna be interesting
13:04okay drive yourselves to lax and fly to oaxaca mexico when you land make your way to capo
13:09those molinos you have fifty dollars for this leg of the race okay back back back
13:13mom this wedding hair to stink no no no no honey we have talked about a racerback cut on you
13:18stop it get in the car
13:34your next flight to oaxaca mexico
13:37yes yes please please hi deborah i'm like i'm i love you so much i have to say i went
13:43as you for
13:43halloween all of middle school got the fucking kicked out of me worth it no i'm obsessed with
13:49you jordan just told me you do comedy too you had to tell you that well now that i know
13:55i'm obsessed
13:56we should totally work together the blonde comedy girls you're a comedian yeah well i can also talk
14:02really really really fast and what else oh i can do asmr do you feel that do you feel it
14:08on the back
14:08your neck she's major she's a generational talent and this is online comedy well i've also done
14:13broadway and the hollywood bowl yeah she sold out in like under two seconds yeah it was super fun
14:19so should we make this official alliance allianceiana we can call ourselves the funny honey
14:27i don't i don't think so thanks wait no mom mom no no alliances are a huge part of the
14:33race
14:33okay so listen what if there's a puzzle we can't figure it out don't you want them to give
14:38us a hint on their way out that happens literally all the time absolutely not she says we're both
14:43comedians how dare she compare herself to me oh god they will get last and we will win this race
14:48come on let's go
15:18we need to go there are you paying attention
15:22this is very important we are in a race for one million dollars
15:46oh
15:46damn it i was hoping to be stranded and abducted where are the kidnappers from cinaloa drug cartel and you
15:52need
15:52Oh, it's a roadblock. That means only one of us can complete the challenge.
15:55Okay, okay, okay, okay.
15:57Who's the big cheese?
15:59Ah, this one's addressed to me.
16:01Mom, every single contestant is a celebrity, okay?
16:03Get over it! Get over it! Get over it!
16:04What's wrong with your fingers?
16:05Transport a wheel of cheese down the hill using a traditional antique cheese rack.
16:06Once there, you'll receive your next clue.
16:07I understood every word of that.
16:09Transport a wheel of cheese down the hill using a traditional antique cheese rack.
16:13Once there, you'll receive your next clue.
16:16Huh? Okay.
16:17Okay. All right, okay.
16:17This sounds complex. I think I should do this one.
16:19No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
16:21Hopefully, we can complete this quick and catch up to the other teams.
16:24Wait, honey, honey, you're flyaways.
16:25Stop!
16:26Okay, all right. Could you take that again?
16:46What are you doing? Are you tying it? Just tie the cheese!
16:52Rich!
16:53That's it, TJ!
16:55I wanted to say before, um, I know you got canceled. It's mere campaign and everything.
17:00I just want to say, like, from cancel queen to cancel queen, like, it hurts the soul, helps the wallet.
17:05Just if I could give you any advice, you know, who am I to say, I'm, you know, 19.
17:11Okay, baby! You got this!
17:15Okay, baby! You got this!
17:18That's it, girl! Come on, honey!
17:21No! No!
17:22No!
17:22Grant every footstep! But don't hunch! You're on camera!
17:26Steady! Steady!
17:28Trisha! Where are you?!
17:32Oh, there's it! You got this, Trish!
17:36Okay! Okay!
17:38Help!
17:40Oh, my God!
17:53Oh, my God!
17:55Oh, my God!
17:56Oh, my ankle!
17:58Honey, stop whippering! Stop whippering! It shows weakness!
18:00All right!
18:01Sweetie, one more thing. You're gonna have to get back up and grab the cheese and finish the challenge, okay?
18:06Fuck!
18:09She's good! She's good!
18:50Hey, bud!
18:51Whoo!
18:52Oh! Hey!
18:54What are you doing?
18:55Me? Just me?
18:56Yeah.
18:57Oh! Nothing! Uh, er, I just came down to get a midnight snack, but then by the time I got
19:01here, I was not hungry anymore, because the house is so big, and it took me so long to get
19:04down here.
19:04Totally.
19:05What's up with you? What are you doing?
19:06Just walking the dogs.
19:08Okay. At this hour? That's curious.
19:10Well, when Debra's out of town, they get super anxious and just, like, shit everywhere.
19:15Oh! Oh, sorry. I'm so tired.
19:19Oh.
19:20Mmm, I gotta go to bed.
19:22Uh, but, yeah, it was good to see you.
19:25Good night.
19:26I'm gonna go. This is me. I'm headed this way.
19:28I know. Good night.
19:30Okay, good night. Good night, Damien.
19:32Okay.
19:34Wow.
19:34Oh.
19:36Now I kinda want a snack.
19:40Somebody help me right now.
19:44Bad situation, babe.
19:46I'm in a bad situation, babe.
19:49Oh, God, honey, be careful.
19:54Okay.
19:56It's... that's the last clue. That means we're the last team.
19:58No! I have to beat that idiot woman.
20:00We can still make up time, okay? We can make up time.
20:02Because in this race, the game's not over until you're standing on that mat and Phil says you're eliminated.
20:07All right. It's another roadblock. Who's got milk?
20:11Okay, now, sweetie, why don't you sit this one out and rest your ankles?
20:14What? What? No!
20:14Mom, what if it's a food challenge?
20:16We both know you are not gonna be caught dead eating full fat dairy on camera, so I will be
20:20doing it.
20:20Well, that's true, but you didn't do so well on the last roadblock.
20:22I did fine. It was fine. Mom, this is my dream, all right?
20:25And I said I would be doing the roadblock, so the rules say that I have to do the roadblock.
20:28Okay. Okay?
20:29All right. Milk a goat...
20:31Milk a goat.
20:31...until you have two quarts. When you think you have completed this task, present your milk to the goat farmer
20:36to receive your next clothes.
20:37No problem.
20:38Okay. All right. To the right. To the right. To the right.
20:41Okay, there it is. There it is. You got it. You got it.
20:43Just grab the gare.
20:48Jesus. She really is multi-talented.
20:51Aren't these goats so cute?
20:53I'm gonna get like six or seven when I get home.
20:55I don't like them. They're demonic.
20:57Why are their eyes so far apart?
20:59I'm done!
21:00Oh, we're done.
21:01Yay!
21:01Come on. Good to see you.
21:03Hey. Hey. Don't. Don't.
21:06Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
21:08Get over there.
21:10Get your boobs easy for me.
21:11DJ, DJ, why don't you watch the nice man? Do it for a minute before you try.
21:15I don't need to watch the man, okay?
21:16Don't you remember when I had that past life regression therapy and I found out I was a milkmaid who
21:20was secretly a princess?
21:21I got this.
21:22Sure.
21:23You have to hold.
21:25Okay. Well, she's being a bitch. That's not... that's not my fault.
21:28Pinch the top of the teat, DJ. The top of the teat.
21:30Hey, mom. Hey, mom. If you could shut up for a second, that would help. You're distracting me, okay?
21:34The top of the teat? What does that mean? Which end is the top?
21:36Just watch the guy. Watch the guy and then do it the way he's doing it!
21:41Don't yell at me. Shut the fuck up. I need to watch the guy.
21:44Deborah.
21:44It's a roadblock.
21:45You cannot help your partner.
21:46I know, Elise!
21:48Gotta relax into it.
21:50Oh.
21:52Huh? Huh?
21:53You gotta relax into that past life.
21:55Oh, my God.
22:07Look at it, guys.
22:10Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
22:12Calm down! It doesn't work, but I will hit you with it.
22:16And don't you dare touch anything in this shop, you harlot.
22:20I remember you.
22:21You threatened to smash a limoge vase, to strong-arm me, and to sell me to Deborah Vance.
22:26I did. I did do that.
22:27I was in a desperate situation, and I am once again in a desperate situation,
22:32but I come in peace.
22:33I need your help. Just some information.
22:37Ha! Go straight to hell. I'd never help you.
22:39Oh. That's too bad to hear.
22:44Seems like you've got a lot of, um, inventory around here.
22:48And I did happen to notice some items on your website are heavily discounted.
22:54Maybe times are tough?
22:57Your generation doesn't understand antiques, but it'll come around.
23:01It's always cyclical.
23:03Well, if you want to wait for that to happen, be my guest.
23:06But what if I told you that I could take half your inventory right now at market value?
23:11I wouldn't believe you. You're lying piece of shit.
23:15That's wise. I can't.
23:17But I know someone who can.
23:19Marcus!
23:19Marcus!
23:24Sam!
23:25Mr. Vaughn, you're looking fit.
23:30I'm decorating and furnishing an entire new casino with all vintage pieces.
23:35If you help my friend here, I'm sure we can make a deal.
23:38What's the style?
23:39Art Deco.
23:40Where?
23:40The old Paradiso.
23:41Fabulous.
23:42I need someone who can make me an exact replica of these.
23:50Why would you ask an antiques dealer where you could get a fake?
23:56Well, I seem to remember a certain psychotic bitch telling me that you once fooled her with a counterfeit George
24:04of Sconce.
24:05I remember because she called it the worst betrayal of her life. Mind you, her husband porked her sister.
24:11So I need to know who your forger is, because he's obviously very good.
24:17Well, lucky for you, you're looking at him.
24:23God, I love this town.
24:26Can I use your bathroom?
24:28No.
24:30Are you looking?
24:33Of course. Of course I'm looking.
24:35I don't know.
24:36I'd still be running here if I saw it.
24:37Don't be sassy.
24:38Wait, sit down there.
24:39Down there. Look, look, look.
24:40There it is.
24:41Hot.
24:41Finally.
24:42Come on.
24:43I got eight.
24:43Okay, ready?
24:47This will be the one.
24:48This will be the one.
24:49This is it.
24:50Okay.
24:51Detour.
24:52All right.
24:53Break or dance.
24:54Break.
24:54Enter a room filled with 10,000 Mexican ceramics and smash them on the floor until you find one containing
24:58a clue.
24:59Dance.
24:59Put traditional clown makeup on each other, then learn a clowning dance from a demonstration.
25:03Once you successfully complete the dance to your judge's satisfaction, you will receive your next clue.
25:07Okay.
25:08Okay.
25:08Okay.
25:09I can let you do the pottery.
25:10What?
25:10I mean, that's it simple.
25:11Something any idiot can do.
25:13Why are you gesturing at me?
25:14I'm not.
25:14I'm gesticulating.
25:15I'm Italian.
25:16You're not Italian.
25:17No.
25:17Mom, that'll take forever.
25:18We are already coming in last.
25:20Oh, we don't.
25:20We've got to make up time.
25:21If we get the clown dance on the first try, we can pass somebody.
25:24Well, we didn't get out on the first try.
25:25Why?
25:25Let's just try.
25:26We're just not.
25:27We're...
25:27But look, look, I'm not going to put on clown makeup and do a silly little dance with you.
25:32I...
25:34I will look stupid.
25:37No, you're worried that I'm going to look stupid.
25:39You think I'm going to embarrass myself, don't you?
25:42Well, yes, I do.
25:43I do.
25:43I don't think you're going to learn a clowning routine, and I don't think that you were a milkmaid
25:47in a past life, okay?
25:48It's a princess who chose to be a milkmaid.
25:52What about your leg?
25:53You cannot dance with that ankle.
25:55What are you talking about?
25:55I just got that steroid shot from the Mexican street doctor.
25:58My tits itch, but my ankle's feeling great.
26:01Do you want a chance at beating that girl?
26:03Yes.
26:04Do you?
26:04Yes.
26:04We're not going to do it standing around smashing pottery for hours.
26:07Yeah, well, think about Grandma's teapot.
26:08You were pretty good about breaking the...
26:10Shut up about Grandma's teapot.
26:14Let's go.
26:17I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like
26:20it.
26:21And Charlie, and Charlie, and Chaplin, and Chaplin, and body roll.
26:26You know how.
26:27Well, I don't know.
26:27Hold on a second.
26:28It's got to be a clown.
26:29Do you look?
26:29How's this?
26:31Ooh!
26:32Finally.
26:33Took us like eight tries, y'all.
26:34It's hard.
26:35Good luck.
26:36Roll down.
26:37I'll be high.
26:38We're so funny tonight.
26:39Let's go.
26:39We're done.
26:40That was great.
26:40That was great.
26:40Thank you, senior.
26:41What?
26:41That was so fast.
26:42Come on.
26:43You.
26:44We'll take you.
26:44Just do it.
26:46Oh, God, this is uno, dos, tres, punta, ocho.
26:53Okay.
26:54We got the color!
26:54We got the color!
26:55Oh, that was so much fun.
26:56What?
26:57The judges were, like, getting emotional watching us.
26:59It was really sweet to see.
27:00Done!
27:01All right?
27:01Mom, we gotta go.
27:02We gotta go.
27:03We gotta go.
27:03We don't know the dance.
27:05We just have to try.
27:06We are...
27:06We can do it one more time.
27:06Listen to me.
27:07We are in last place.
27:08I know that.
27:09We gotta get this on the first try.
27:10We have a shot.
27:10Mom, look at me.
27:12Let me try.
27:12Please.
27:13Let's go!
27:14Go!
27:14Go!
27:14Go!
27:16Go!
27:23Sorry.
27:24I didn't throw it.
27:24I didn't throw it.
27:25That's my bad.
27:25That's my bad.
27:27Go again.
27:27Go again.
27:32It's the...
27:33I did the wrong foot.
27:34We're good.
27:35You got it?
27:35Yeah.
27:35You know where you went wrong?
27:36Yeah.
27:36Yeah.
27:36Okay.
27:42I kicked it on four.
27:44I kicked it on four.
27:45She kicked it on four.
27:46That I saw.
27:46Start over.
27:47Start over.
27:48Go.
27:48Quick.
27:52Can I help?
27:53I've got it.
27:54I've got it.
27:56No!
27:58Yeah!
28:03Yeah!
28:04AHHHH!
28:06Oh, shit.
28:07Fuck.
28:09Hop on!
28:10Come on.
28:17It's okay.
28:17It's okay.
28:18It's okay.
28:33What? No! I really thought I got it that time!
28:37Felt good to me.
28:38What was it?
28:38Gebra and DJ?
28:39No! Phil! No! No! No! No! No! Not Phil! No! Phil! Come on!
28:43No! No! Come on!
28:46Oh, come on!
28:48Obviously, I'm here for a reason.
28:49I know it's been a hard couple of days, and DJ, you've had your injury, and you've been struggling with
28:55this clown challenge.
28:56I mean, a little bit.
28:58You've been here four hours.
28:59I know!
29:00And all the other teams have checked into the pit stop.
29:02Oh!
29:03Debra and DJ, I'm really sorry to tell you that you've been eliminated from the race.
29:11We didn't do it. But you know what we didn't do? Actually, Phil, we didn't quit.
29:17So you can hold your head high.
29:18Yeah.
29:18You gave it everything.
29:19Yeah.
29:20Yeah?
29:20Yeah.
29:21I know you're upset, but are you pleased you came on the amazing race?
29:24That's the best thing that I've ever done in my whole life.
29:28Honestly, Phil, this race, it challenges every single part of you.
29:30I-I-I-I-I-I-I-that's what I wanted, you know? I got to milk a goat.
29:34Yeah.
29:34I got to see two different cities in Mexico. But most of all, I-I got to spend more time
29:43with my mom than I have in years, and that's really all I wanted.
29:47You feel like you really bonded with your mom?
29:51Yeah. It was beautiful.
29:53You feel the same way, Debra?
29:55Yeah. Same.
29:59Um, Phil, can I ask a favor?
30:01I can't get you back on the race.
30:03No, no, no. I understand. We're eliminated. But if I could just take one more crack at
30:08this dance, I know I could nail it.
30:09Are you serious?
30:10I'm serious. We got so close this last time. I don't know if you were watching, but we got
30:14so close, didn't we?
30:15We did.
30:16Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, give it another shot.
30:20Actually, Mom, this one's for us. Okay?
30:25Okay, we can do this. We can do this. Okay.
30:27We can do this.
30:32Okay.
30:38Oh, fuck me! Fuck! Shit! Just forget it. Just fuck it. You know what? I don't even care.
30:43I never cared. I don't care, Phil!
30:46Stop fucking filming me! It's done! It's over!
30:50No!
31:01Oh!
31:02Oh!
31:04Yeah.
31:05Oh, my.
31:07Oh!
31:09They're just how I remember them.
31:11Good.
31:13I can feel her.
31:15I can feel Mommy in the pepper shaker.
31:18She's in there.
31:20Oh, thank you, Ava. Thank you so much.
31:23But how did you convince her?
31:26She doesn't know.
31:29I stole them.
31:30I don't know what Debra's gonna do when she realizes you stole them.
31:33I don't wanna know.
31:35Yeah.
31:37Physical, probably.
31:39You must really, really want those rights.
31:42Yeah.
31:43Yeah, I do.
31:46So, do we have a deal?
31:47Yes.
31:49Yes, you've earned them.
31:51I'll have my lawyer call Jimmy in the morning.
31:55Welcome home, guys.
32:09Aw.
32:12Aw.
32:13I remember boarding groups.
32:15Fun.
32:16They never let Aiden and me pre-board because they don't count MMA as military service.
32:22Fucking bullshit.
32:25I'm sorry we lost.
32:27It's my fault.
32:29If you had done the roadblocks, we would have won.
32:31No, you're kinda good at everything and super annoying.
32:35No, that's not true.
32:37I've never been good at failing and moving on.
32:44I'm proud of you.
32:45Now, you let things roll off your back.
32:48During this race, you just threw yourself into everything.
32:51You didn't even care how you looked.
32:52Oh, thanks so much, Mom.
32:54No, no.
32:54That's good.
32:56That's good.
33:00You're tougher than me.
33:02You are.
33:03I mean, I've always cared too much about what people think.
33:08Because I know how hard it is when people make fun of you or call you crazy.
33:15Like they're doing to me right now.
33:21I think that's why I tried to protect you from all that.
33:24And why I didn't let you try trapeze or, you know, release your reggae album or...
33:30Go on QVC?
33:32Yes.
33:36I...
33:37Overcorrected.
33:38I didn't let you try enough.
33:40Because you could have handled it.
33:47You're right, you do care what the world thinks.
33:50But I've only ever cared what one person thinks.
33:54Who?
33:57Phil.
34:06I can't believe this.
34:07No, no, no, no, no.
34:07Tell me again.
34:08Tell me again.
34:09She really said I can feel Mommy.
34:12Stop laughing.
34:13I feel really bad.
34:14She cried.
34:16This is the best.
34:19Oh, my God.
34:21Well, you are an evil bitch.
34:23I've never felt closer to you.
34:27Well, let's just hope I make you proud and make a good show.
34:31So it's worth it.
34:32Even if you don't.
34:34Recently, I have warmed up to the value of falling flat on your face and embarrassing yourself.
34:39Okay.
34:40Maybe just say you're gonna do great.
34:41Oh.
34:42You're gonna do great.
34:43I know.
34:44And live in five, four, three, two.
34:50Welcome back, folks.
34:51Okay.
34:51I am thrilled because we have an amazing new designer here with us today.
34:58Please welcome Deborah Junior Vance.
35:03Okay.
35:03How many times has your baby reached for your earrings and almost pulled your entire ear clean off your skull?
35:10So many.
35:11Well, it's never gonna happen again.
35:12Do you wanna know why?
35:15Detachables.
35:16Oh, my God.
35:17Because they detach.
35:18Look at that.
35:19That's right.
35:20No more bloody lobes.
35:21Moms get it.
35:23Amazing.
35:24Wow, these are flying off the shelf.
35:26They are going fast.
35:27If you want your own to jewelry, you better call in now.
35:31Oh, and I think we have a call right now.
35:33Oh, because you are the best thing.
35:41You are the best thing.
35:47You are the best thing.
35:51You are the best thing.
35:51You are the best thing.
35:53You are the best thing.
35:54You are the best thing.
35:55You are the best thing.
35:58You are the best thing.
35:59You are the best thing.
36:00You are the best thing.
36:02You are the best thing.
36:02You are the best thing.
36:04You are the best thing.
36:10When I say this love will never fade away
36:18Oh, because you are the best thing
36:24You are the best thing
36:30You are the best thing
36:36You are the best thing
36:37You are the best thing
36:44Both of us have no love before
36:50Come on, no promising like a snake
36:52To walk on out the door
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