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مسلسل Reginald The Vampire مترجم - Episode 2
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Reginald the Vampire...
00:03You really like her, don't you?
00:04Her name is Sarah.
00:05Maybe you should do something about that.
00:07Are you busy Friday night?
00:08No, I'm not busy.
00:10I think it would be fun if we went out.
00:11Sure.
00:12How have you never been on a date before?
00:15Leave me alone!
00:17If I can fix this, Reggie,
00:18I had the weirdest dream last night.
00:20No, you're not dreaming.
00:21I'm a motherfucking vampire!
00:22Being a fat vampire,
00:24that's gonna cause some problems within the vampire community.
00:26I want to be like this forever.
00:27Vampires can't glamour the vampires, alright?
00:31You need to feed, man.
00:33I don't want to kill anyone.
00:35You don't have to.
00:36We need to break up.
00:37I reject your imaginary breakup,
00:39and think that you and I need to have an open and honest conversation
00:43about what's going on between us.
00:47Can I come in now, please?
00:50Okay.
00:52Okay.
00:59Um, the best way to have an honest conversation
01:03is to just dive in,
01:05without hesitation or fear.
01:08Are you...
01:12alright?
01:15Reginald?
01:20better now.
01:22Good.
01:23Because, um...
01:24Stop!
01:24I really...
01:25Right there.
01:26Don't come any closer.
01:28Can't break up if we were never together.
01:30That's a fair point.
01:31Semantically sound.
01:32We're on the same wavelength here.
01:34I feel like there's something that you're not telling me.
01:37And, Reginald,
01:39you can tell me anything.
01:41I know how you could assume that,
01:44but...
01:46there's just some things a man can't share.
01:49Try me.
02:06What's the story, Morning Glory?
02:14Sarah, there is nothing I'd rather do than be with you.
02:20But I can't.
02:28Because...
02:30the timing's wrong.
02:31Or...
02:32the gods are against us,
02:33or...
02:34the stars are out of alignment.
02:36Probably all of those things at the same time.
02:41We can't be together.
02:57No.
02:58No!
02:59Sarah, what was I thinking?
03:00I was wrong.
03:02I don't care about the stars.
03:05Of course we can be together.
03:07We have to be.
03:09There's nothing in the world I want more.
03:15However...
03:16In the interest of full disclosure,
03:18I have to tell you something.
03:20So brace yourself, because, again,
03:22fully aware of what a shocker this is gonna be.
03:25But...
03:26The thing I wasn't telling you,
03:30my big, bold, impossible secret,
03:33is...
03:36Motherfuck, you vampire!
03:38No.
03:39No, I'm still not entirely on board with that catchphrase.
04:00She didn't hear a word I said?
04:02Sorry, no.
04:03How did you even know she was here?
04:06The Sarabon, man.
04:07It's like an alarm bell.
04:08What you feel, I feel.
04:10You don't want to feel what I feel.
04:14understood you made her go i just put a different thought in her head
04:19what will she remember from tonight i went a little deeper than that what no first date for
04:26her to miss no reason for her to come here no conversation once she did and no catchphrase
04:32is sarah gonna remember that she likes me well i didn't tell her not to man but it's an inexact
04:36science so summing up again body issues for an eternity unable to control my most basic urges
04:42and unfit for human interaction including of course romance well hey hey none of that is
04:47permanent except for the body part something to look forward to then look you need to feed reggie
04:53okay nothing changes until you get your teeth into someone what if i don't well it won't kill you but
05:01some very inconvenient shit will start to happen define inconvenient shit drop your fangs bite and
05:09drink oh and don't forget make them forget after it's over i've never glamored anyone before well
05:16it's part of your nature now then come with me show me how to feed i can't do that why
05:25sorry tradition
05:27it comes a time when baby birds gotta leave the nest even if they need a little push i am
05:32not a baby bird
05:33no no you're a motherfucking vampire
05:46no you're a prophet
05:49no no
06:04one
06:05had
06:06no
06:06no
06:09welcome to the slushy shack how may i help you welcome to slushy shack how may i help you
06:16what
06:22todd wanted to have it oh how about a little warning next time sorry sometimes i violate
06:29people's personal space and todd wanted to have a serious talk with you about your attitude but
06:35i convinced him i might be more efficient at getting to the bottom of what's bugging you
06:39oh okay fair enough what's up with the attitude buddy boy okay how was this more efficient i employ
06:49the direct approach when necessary spill the beans i'm worried and i don't know what to do about it
06:56go on there's this friend of mine i'm worried about her health she's sick not exactly so this
07:05is not a health problem it's it's complicated i'm trying to figure out how to help her
07:10i mean let's say that she's not entirely okay but has no idea she's not okay like you're sick and
07:18don't know it maybe waiting until things get better is my best option but i can't wait for things to
07:23get
07:23better is glass half full foolishness that never wins the day right okay well good talk ashley i
07:31needed this thanks i guess okay one pull yourself together when you're at the register and never
07:40bark at a customer again got it attitude checks two you're weirdly indirect about this but i'm sensing
07:46genuine emotion in between the lines when it comes to this anonymous friend of yours so i'm gonna say
07:50what i told you at the start what's with the attitude buddy boy employ the direct approach when necessary
08:05dude they slapped me what what
08:16oh
08:26hi hey hey reginald
08:36sorry i'm late so weird i forgot how to get here i mean well i didn't forget but like i
08:45did so what
08:47did you do last night well not much nothing i don't know i was just thinking about what we were
08:57talking
08:57about at work yesterday oh well i don't really remember what we talked about follow-up question have
09:07you been on any dates lately no i don't think so i mean no i haven't but uh why would
09:20you ask me that
09:31what's the story morning glory oh okay that's a blur song right what do you see when you look at
09:40me
09:41are you okay are you okay i'm reginald i'm sarah is there a reason you're acting like we never met
10:11have we met you killed my brother i'm sorry you're gonna have to be more specific you killed isaac
10:18again my apologies the funny thing is i actually killed more than one isaac so
10:22get rid of the details from what we're talking about dallas eich or or maybe the isaac guy killed
10:26in berlin
10:41come on man you killed my brother which we established and and did i mention how sorry i was about
10:47that
10:50hey hey hey look if we're gonna fight first we gotta establish some rules right we're not gonna
10:55fight i'm gonna rip your head off your body no no no i i like my head it's been on
11:00my body for over 75
11:02years look isaac wasn't a bad guy he was just mean and in a little vain and in a lot
11:09of ways that's worse
11:10right he didn't have to die he wasn't really a threat to me in truth he had his hands up
11:17to
11:17surrender oh but he hurt a friend of mine okay and my feeling was i'm putting isaac down for good
11:49i'm not a baby bird i'm not a baby bird i'm a man now let me in
11:56hey he's not in here oh you're reginald who who are you i'm mike do you i i need help
12:06it sounds like it do you know where maurice went and he comes and he goes do you do you
12:12know when
12:12we'll be back why don't you come inside and we'll wait together thank you
12:31you're late yeah sorry i'm ran into somebody
12:39angel's blood you're going in hot it's what i need going after her they never took you for the
12:45death wish type look can you get it from me or not sure but i mean you gotta understand the
12:50risks
12:51involved the weight of something like this on the other hand happy to oblige
13:04it's like he erased her i mean sure she remembers who i am but what if she never remembers how
13:10she felt
13:11about me what if it's just an empty space the thing about glamoring the essential comes back
13:18sarah forgot what she did last night but one way or another she'll reclaim how she feels about you
13:24is there like a timetable that i can consult that will let me know when that happens when you measure
13:29your life in your life in centuries patience is a virtue this would be a lot easier if you could
13:36just glamour a comprehensive undead life hack into my head vampires can't glamour other vampires i told you
13:45that what are we talking about love
13:52love love is constant only the names change how you doing reggie other than thinking vampires were
14:01pretty convenient gestalt for love i'm not doing great thank you reggie's special he just hasn't
14:06realized it yet hey what's the square root of 65 894.256.698
14:18what's the first sentence of the seventh chapter of the last book you read war and peace the rustle of
14:24a woman's dress was heard in the next room he's smart yeah that's his superpower it feels like a
14:32partner trick no it's not a trick okay that's function you're exceptional take advantage of that gee
14:40i had no idea how amazing i was all right it's time for you to go feed or fall apart
14:48hey drop your fangs
14:51bite and drink make them forget when it's over exactly
15:32i'm
15:33i'm
15:33i'm
15:34i'm
15:39i'm
15:39i'm
15:41Ah!
15:42Ah!
15:45Ah!
15:48Ah!
15:49Ah!
15:51Ah!
15:52Ah!
15:53Ah!
15:55Ah!
15:57Ah!
15:58Ah!
15:59Ah!
16:02So the baby bird returns to the nest.
16:07Well, that's not Reginald.
16:09Back so soon?
16:13Hi, I'm Angela.
16:17Murray's home?
16:22Come on in.
16:25Come on in, guys.
16:26Uh-huh.
16:43Come on.
16:47Come on!
16:48Come on.
17:36What the?
17:39Nice night.
17:40I love a warm breeze.
17:43You about to jump me?
17:45Not exactly.
17:47You think I'm praying for a dude like you?
17:50That's actually closer to the truth than you might understand.
17:54Educate me a little, man.
17:57I want to drink your blood.
17:59Excuse me?
18:00I need to drink your blood.
18:04Get away from me.
18:05I could break your neck before you even knew it hit you.
18:07Only thing's neck you can break off is a bucket of fried chicken.
18:10Make it easy on yourself.
18:12Come with me and I will let you live.
18:14I don't think so.
18:16You don't know who you're messing with.
18:18I'm Vampyr.
18:21I own the knight.
18:23I'll pay you $25.
18:25$25 for my blood.
18:26$50, but we have to go to an ATM first.
18:29Hang on.
18:29If you're a vampire, where are your damn fangs?
18:39They're temporarily unavailable.
18:42I don't know who you think you're fooling, but vampires are all Patterson and shit.
18:47We're your cheekbones, fool.
18:48Well, in truth, vampires come in all shapes and sizes now.
18:51I'm done talking.
18:52Understand?
18:53Comic-Con is next month.
18:55Listen to me!
18:55Oh, I'm listening, motherfucker.
19:06So?
19:11How long has it been since you two last saw each other?
19:17A very long time.
19:21I saw you in New York.
19:24The night David Dinkins got elected mayor.
19:27I didn't see you.
19:29No.
19:31No, you didn't.
19:36I hear you met Isaac's brother, Eric.
19:40Man needs a weapons designation, not a name.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:45Well, I just wanted you to know face-to-face personally that Eric will no longer be a problem.
19:53You have my word.
19:55Well, Angie, if we got your word.
20:02Nice small home cooking.
20:06Etouffee.
20:07Oh.
20:09Like Marisa's mother used to make.
20:15Well, it was nice meeting you, Angela.
20:19Is there anything else we can do for you tonight?
20:21I should go.
20:23It was lovely to meet you, too.
20:26Mike, is it?
20:36I really didn't mean to intrude.
20:39I just wanted to see you in the flesh after all of these years.
20:45Don't be a stranger, young soldier.
20:51I remember we were going to break them.
20:55Who are you breaking now?
20:57Wait and see.
20:58I remember we were going to break them down.
21:02I remember we were going to break them down.
21:06I remember we were going to break them down.
21:11I remember we were going to break them down.
21:17I remember we were going to break them down.
21:18I remember we were going to break them down.
21:19I remember we were going to break them down.
21:19I remember we were going to break them down.
21:19I remember we were going to break them down.
21:19I remember we were going to break them down.
21:22I remember we were going to break them down.
21:24I remember we were going to break them down.
21:34Late for work?
21:36Something like that.
21:39Chocoholic blasts just a pinch of tropical coconut.
21:42I feel the need to feed.
21:46You and me both.
22:02Reginald?
22:07I appreciate the customer service, but I'm perfectly capable of riding home by myself.
22:18There's a creepy vibe to what's happening here. You get that, right?
22:23I can't do this.
22:27I can't.
22:29Can't do what?
22:35Back the fuck up!
22:37Language!
22:38Dude, you have fangs!
22:40They have a mind of their own. Out they come, in they go. I'm helpless to control them.
22:46And you think after all this time, I mean, it hasn't been a ton of time.
22:49Are you a vampire?
22:55Regrettably, yes.
22:56But you're fat.
22:57I don't know why that's relevant, but everyone keeps harping on it. So, hey, thank you. I'm fully aware of
23:04my body issues.
23:07You were going to feed on me.
23:09It felt like my last available option.
23:11Well, I'm not letting you do that.
23:14As you wish.
23:16I forbid you entry into my home.
23:19Sounds about right.
23:20Be gone, undead creature of the night.
23:23Is that really necessary?
23:35Reginald, are you okay?
23:38No.
23:40What are you going to do?
23:42I'm going to sit here and wait for the sun to rise.
23:46But won't that burn you up?
23:48Yes, I'm lucky.
23:49I'm sorry in advance for the mess. I'll probably wash right off the sidewalk.
23:55What's it like, being a vampire?
23:57How does it look?
24:02Who made you?
24:04Long story.
24:07Well, JFTR, I know all about vampires, so I won't let you glamour me.
24:11Not to worry. The last time I tried to glamour someone, I got punched in the face.
24:16Will you promise not to bite me if I get you something good to eat?
24:20Yes?
24:21How do I know I can trust you?
24:23I'm a vampire, not an asshole.
24:26Right.
24:32Weak as a kitten, too.
24:36Aren't you going to invite me in?
24:37You're just kidding about you not entering.
24:40Pretty sure that's just something we made up on TV.
24:42I mean, think about it.
24:48Mom will be back soon. That's when her second job ends, so you have to eat and run.
24:53And she leaves you all alone like this?
24:56Perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
24:59I'm not sure if this will help, but I can't hurt.
25:05There's blood in there, right?
25:06Technically, it's not blood. It's just water and a protein called myoglobin.
25:32My grandmother says chew your food 32 times before you swallow.
25:40That was an emergency.
25:42Pretty gross, to be honest.
25:44Sorry.
25:51Well, I'm going to go before your mom comes home.
25:56This is the weirdest fairytale ever told.
26:00Will you come back and visit?
26:02I mean, outside of the slushy shack.
26:05Mom's got extra long hours all week, so I get bored.
26:09Plenty of steaks in the freezer. I'll thaw some out.
26:12It's a date.
26:13Still a little creepy.
26:15I'm a vampire. Creepy's my brand.
26:17Up high, big guy.
26:19Okay.
26:27Oops.
26:47What is it?
26:49An invitation.
26:56Commantial.
27:33What the fuck?
27:40What the hell are we doing here?
27:42You hate this woman.
27:44After everything she did to you?
27:46If I'm going to destroy Angela and her for good,
27:49then I need to know everything there is to know about her world.
27:52Well, it's like she taught me.
27:55Knowledge is power.
28:08Have a good night.
28:12I'm giving Reginald ten minutes to get here,
28:15suit up, and get to work.
28:19Or else...
28:22Hi, welcome to the slushy shack.
28:23How can I help you?
28:24I'm the slushy shack.
28:50I'm the slushy shack.
28:51I'm the slushy shack.
28:55I'm the slushy shack.
28:56I'm having a baskin day.
28:58I'd say so.
28:59Maybe you should get that looked at?
29:01Yeah.
29:02First thing in the morning.
29:04Okay.
29:05Uh, Todd's getting pretty impatient,
29:08so you should probably get out front.
29:10Or see a dermatologist.
29:13Uh, whatever you think is best.
29:16Did you ever hear the story of the ant and the horse?
29:21The one now?
29:23The ant and the horse.
29:26I can't say that I have.
29:29There's this horse.
29:32And it's totally beautiful,
29:34and the envy of all other horses.
29:37So, a pretty good horse.
29:39Best horse possible.
29:41And every day,
29:42the horse runs past this anthill.
29:45And an ant waits for the horse every day.
29:49Now, the horse doesn't know the ant exists,
29:51but for the ant,
29:54the horse is the most important thing in the world.
29:57So it waits.
29:59But the horse just runs on by.
30:02Not sure how I feel about this whole insect horse story.
30:05And then, one day,
30:06the horse stops to graze.
30:09Like, right next to the anthill.
30:11And the ant,
30:12who's been waiting and hoping for so long,
30:16this is his moment.
30:17He walks up to the horse.
30:20And there's so much he wants to tell her.
30:23A tidal wave of feeling.
30:25But then,
30:26he notices that the horse is about to eat arrowgrass.
30:31Is that bad?
30:32The worst.
30:34Arrowgrass has a high cyanide content.
30:36Totally poisonous for the horse.
30:37Oh, that's not good.
30:38So the ant
30:40races right up her nose,
30:42like,
30:42deep up in there.
30:44And the horse rears back
30:45and sneezes.
30:48Shaking its head,
30:49and it just trots off,
30:50leaving the grass behind.
30:52What happened to the ant?
30:54He shot right out of her nose
30:56and bounced off a tree.
30:57But he limps back to his hill
31:00and that's where he waits
31:03every day
31:04for the horse to return
31:06because
31:09he'll save her life
31:11again and again
31:13if that's what it takes.
31:16So,
31:18slushy counter
31:20or emergency dermatologist?
31:25Let's go back to work.
31:36Dude,
31:37you look like the shit
31:38a shit took.
31:41I...
31:42maybe you should just
31:42take a sick day.
31:44Uh,
31:44hey,
31:45excuse me,
31:45could I grab...
31:46Just one second, sir.
31:48That hat is not regulation
31:50and I'm gonna have to ask you
31:51to remove the sunglasses
31:52pronto.
31:53Welcome to the slushy shack.
31:54How may I help you?
31:58Hey, guy,
31:58you need to feed
31:59and you need to feed now.
32:00Tell me something I don't know.
32:14Your face looks like toxic waste.
32:15I know,
32:16thank you.
32:17Here you go.
32:20Feed on Todd.
32:21What?
32:22That was disgusting.
32:23He's young,
32:24he's fat.
32:25I bet his blood tastes awesome.
32:27Regi-wide,
32:29you stink.
32:31Feed on Todd.
32:35What the hell happened to your face?
32:39There you go.
32:52There you go.
32:54There you go.
32:54There you go.
32:54Said,
32:54there he is.
32:54There he is.
32:54There he is.
32:56There he is.
32:57Ah,
33:09To be continued...
33:34To be continued...
34:10To be continued...
34:40To be continued...
35:20To be continued...
35:32To be continued...
35:55Don't move.
35:55I'll be right back.
36:00Dude, get your ass out of here.
36:04Whatever mess you're making, I do not want to clean it up.
36:06You understand me?
36:11Oh, you're disgusting.
36:34You're disgusting.
36:37I fuck, friendo.
36:39Listen to me.
36:41What?
36:43Listen to me.
36:46I'm going to bite your neck and drink your blood, and that fills you with joy and happiness.
36:50It is the greatest thing that's ever happened to you.
36:53And when I'm done, you will forget that it ever happened.
36:58Don't move.
37:08Something to BeitI.
37:10Don't move me.
37:12Don't move me.
37:14I don't know.
37:16I don't know.
37:18It's fine.
37:43What did you do?
37:46You drugged me?
37:49Where's Mike?
37:57Why?
37:58Oh, baby, you know the answer to that.
38:09Todd?
38:17Hello, Sarah.
38:21What do you say we get ourselves back to work, huh?
38:30Okay.
38:35Nice.
38:42Woo-ha-ha-ha!
38:55Maurice?
38:58No, no, no, no.
39:19What?
39:20What?
39:21What?
39:22What?
39:24What?
39:25What?
39:37What?
39:51What?
40:05What?
40:07What the hell were you thinking young soldier?
40:09Is that how you honor the gift that I gave you?
40:12I gave you forever.
40:13And that vampire you made is an abomination.
40:18Perfection is what keeps our nation safe and not only is he less than perfect, but he is defective, grotesque,
40:25and an insult to our purity.
40:30Reginald Andres will not survive the night.
40:55Reginald Andres will not survive the night.
40:58I will.
40:59Ah, uh-oh!
41:10Oh, my sweet lord.
41:12Don't mind the rotund vampire, or over very little importance.
41:16He's just passing through.
41:19it's like i was never here who are you nobody trust me on that everyone thinks so
41:26you don't belong here i mean if you think about it does anyone really belong here
41:31you're lying to me again not to argue semantics but i'm gonna rip your head off
41:48truffle
42:09listen to me
42:19maurice you won't believe what i just did
42:28my damn feet are on fire got it
42:34so
42:43so
42:46so
42:51so
42:52so
42:54so
43:04you
43:06you
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