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مسلسل Reginald The Vampire مترجم - Episode 2
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Reginald the Vampire...
00:03You really like her, don't you?
00:04Her name is Sarah.
00:05Maybe you should do something about that.
00:07Are you busy Friday night?
00:08No, I'm not busy.
00:10I think it would be fun if we went out.
00:11Sure.
00:12How have you never been on a date before?
00:15Leave me alone!
00:17If I can fix this, Reggie,
00:18I had the weirdest dream last night.
00:20No, you're not dreaming.
00:21I'm a motherfucking vampire!
00:22Being a fat vampire,
00:24that's gonna cause some problems within the vampire community.
00:26I want to be like this forever.
00:27Vampires can't glamour the vampires, alright?
00:31You need to feed, man.
00:33I don't want to kill anyone.
00:35You don't have to.
00:36We need to break up.
00:37I reject your imaginary breakup,
00:39and think that you and I need to have an open and honest conversation
00:43about what's going on between us.
00:47Can I come in now, please?
00:50Okay.
00:52Okay.
00:59Um, the best way to have an honest conversation
01:03is to just dive in,
01:05without hesitation or fear.
01:08Are you...
01:12alright?
01:15Reginald?
01:20better now.
01:22Good.
01:23Because, um...
01:24Stop!
01:24I really...
01:25Right there.
01:26Don't come any closer.
01:28Can't break up if we were never together.
01:30That's a fair point.
01:31Semantically sound.
01:32We're on the same wavelength here.
01:34I feel like there's something that you're not telling me.
01:37And, Reginald,
01:39you can tell me anything.
01:41I know how you could assume that,
01:44but...
01:46there's just some things a man can't share.
01:49Try me.
02:06What's the story, Morning Glory?
02:14Sarah, there is nothing I'd rather do than be with you.
02:20But I can't.
02:28Because...
02:30the timing's wrong.
02:31Or...
02:32the gods are against us,
02:33or...
02:34the stars are out of alignment.
02:36Probably all of those things at the same time.
02:41We can't be together.
02:57No.
02:58No!
02:59Sarah, what was I thinking?
03:00I was wrong.
03:02I don't care about the stars.
03:05Of course we can be together.
03:07We have to be.
03:09There's nothing in the world I want more.
03:15However...
03:16In the interest of full disclosure,
03:18I have to tell you something.
03:20So brace yourself, because, again,
03:22fully aware of what a shocker this is gonna be.
03:25But...
03:26The thing I wasn't telling you,
03:30my big, bold, impossible secret,
03:33is...
03:36Motherfuck, you vampire!
03:38No.
03:39No, I'm still not entirely on board with that catchphrase.
03:42What?
04:00She didn't hear a word I said?
04:02Sorry, no.
04:03How did you even know she was here?
04:06The Sarabon, man, it's like an alarm bell.
04:08What you feel, I feel.
04:09You don't want to feel what I feel.
04:13Understood.
04:14You made her go.
04:16I just put a different thought in her head.
04:19What will she remember from tonight?
04:21I went a little deeper than that.
04:23What?
04:24No first date for her to miss.
04:26No reason for her to come here.
04:28No conversation once she did.
04:30And no catchphrase.
04:32Is Sarah going to remember that she likes me?
04:34Well, I didn't tell her not to, man, but it's an inexact science.
04:36So, summing up, again, body issues for an eternity,
04:40unable to control my most basic urges,
04:42and unfit for human interaction, including, of course, romance.
04:46Well, hey, hey, none of that is permanent except for the body part.
04:49Something to look forward to then?
04:52Look, you need to feed, Reggie, okay?
04:54Nothing changes until you get your teeth into someone.
04:58What if I don't?
05:00Well, it won't kill you, but some very inconvenient shit will start to happen.
05:04Define inconvenient shit.
05:07Drop your fangs, bite, and drink.
05:10Oh, and don't forget, make them forget after it's over.
05:14I've never glamoured anyone before.
05:16Well, it's part of your nature now.
05:19Then come with me.
05:20Show me how to feed.
05:23I can't do that.
05:25Why?
05:26It's our tradition.
05:27There comes a time when baby birds gotta leave the nest,
05:30even if they need a little push.
05:32I am not a baby bird.
05:34No.
05:35No, you're a motherfucking vampire.
05:58I'm not a baby bird.
06:09Welcome to the Slushy Shack.
06:11How may I help you?
06:12Welcome to the Slushy Shack.
06:13How may I help you?
06:16What?
06:22Todd wanted to have it.
06:24Whoa.
06:25How about a little warning next time?
06:26Sorry.
06:27Sometimes I violate people's personal space.
06:32And...
06:33Todd wanted to have a serious talk with you about your attitude,
06:35but I convinced him I might be more efficient at getting to the bottom of what's bugging you.
06:39Oh?
06:40Okay.
06:41Fair enough.
06:42What's up with the attitude, buddy boy?
06:45Okay, how is this more efficient?
06:48I employ the direct approach when necessary.
06:51Spill the beans.
06:53I'm worried.
06:54And I don't know what to do about it.
06:56Go on.
06:57There's this friend of mine.
06:59I'm worried about her health.
07:02She's sick?
07:03Not exactly.
07:04So this is not a health problem?
07:07It's complicated.
07:08I'm trying to figure out how to help her.
07:10I mean, let's say that she's not entirely okay, but has no idea she's not okay.
07:17Like you're sick and don't know it.
07:18Maybe waiting until things get better is my best option, but I can't wait.
07:23Waiting for things to get better is glass half full of foolishness that never wins the day.
07:27Right.
07:28Okay, well, good talk.
07:31Ashley, I needed this.
07:32Thanks, I guess.
07:36Okay.
07:37One.
07:38Pull yourself together when you're at the register and never bark at a customer again.
07:41Got it.
07:42Attitude check.
07:43Two.
07:44You're weirdly indirect about this, but I'm sensing genuine emotion in between the lines when it comes to this anonymous
07:49friend of yours,
07:50so I'm going to say what I told you at the start.
07:52What's with the attitude, buddy boy?
07:55Employ the direct approach when necessary.
08:06Dude, they slapped me.
08:08What?
08:10What the...
08:26Hi.
08:27Hey.
08:30Hey?
08:33Reginald.
08:36Sorry I'm late.
08:37So weird.
08:39I forgot how to get here.
08:41I mean, well, I didn't forget, but, like, I did.
08:46So, what did you do last night?
08:49Well, not much.
08:51Nothing.
08:53I don't know.
08:55I was just thinking about what we were talking about at work yesterday.
09:00Oh.
09:01Well, um, I don't really remember what we talked about.
09:05Follow-up question.
09:06Have you been on any dates lately?
09:10No.
09:12I don't think so.
09:14I mean, no.
09:16I haven't.
09:18But, uh, why would you ask me that?
09:22Nothing.
09:23Just collegial interest in your social calendar?
09:27Oh.
09:31What's the story, Morning Glory?
09:34Okay.
09:36That's a Blair song, right?
09:38What do you see when you look at me?
09:41Are you okay?
09:43I'm Reginald.
09:46I'm Sarah.
09:48I'm Sarah.
09:48Is there a reason you're acting like we never met?
10:10Have we met?
10:13You killed my brother.
10:15I'm sorry.
10:15You're gonna have to be more specific.
10:17You killed Isaac.
10:18Again, my apologies.
10:19The funny thing is, I actually killed more than one Isaac, so I'm feeling the details from you.
10:23Oh, we're talking about Dallas Eichert.
10:25Or maybe the Isaac I killed in Berlin?
10:42Come on, man.
10:43You killed my brother.
10:44Which we established.
10:45And did I mention how sorry I was about that?
10:50Hey, hey, hey.
10:51Look, if we're gonna fight, first we gotta establish some rules, right?
10:55We're not gonna fight.
10:56I'm gonna rip your head off your body.
10:58No, no, no.
10:59I like my head.
11:00It's been on my body for over 75 years.
11:02Look, Isaac wasn't a bad guy.
11:05He was just mean and a little vain.
11:08And in a lot of ways, that's worse, right?
11:11He didn't have to die.
11:13He wasn't really a threat to me.
11:15In truth, he had his hands up to surrender.
11:18But he hurt a friend of mine.
11:20Okay, and my feeling was, I'm putting Isaac down for good.
11:49I'm not a baby bird.
11:51I'm a man.
11:51Now let me in!
11:55Hey!
11:56He's not in here.
11:58Oh.
11:59You're Reginald.
12:01Who are you?
12:02I'm Mike.
12:04Do you...
12:04I need help.
12:06It sounds like it.
12:08Do you know where Maurice went?
12:09He comes and he goes.
12:11Do you know when he'll be back?
12:14Why don't you come inside and we'll wait together.
12:31You're late.
12:32Yeah, sorry.
12:34I'm ran into somebody.
12:39Angel's blood.
12:40You're going in hot.
12:41It's what I need.
12:42Going after her.
12:44They never took you for the death wish type.
12:46Look, can you get it from me or not?
12:48Sure, but you've got to understand the risks involved.
12:51The weight of something like this is...
12:58On the other hand, happy to oblige.
13:04It's like he erased her.
13:05I mean, sure, she remembers who I am, but what if she never remembers how she felt about me?
13:11What if it's just an empty space?
13:14The thing about glamoring, the essential comes back.
13:18Sarah forgot what she did last night, but one way or another, she'll reclaim how she feels about you.
13:24Is there, like, a timetable that I can consult that will let me know when that happens?
13:29When you measure your life in centuries, patience is a virtue.
13:35This would be a lot easier if you could just glamour a comprehensive undead life hack into my head.
13:42Vampires can't glamour other vampires.
13:44I told you that.
13:46What are we talking about?
13:49Love.
13:55Love is constant.
13:57Only the names change.
13:59How you doing, Reggie?
14:00Other than thinking vampires were pretty convenient gestalt for love, I'm not doing great.
14:05Reggie's special.
14:06He just hasn't realized it yet.
14:08Hey.
14:10What's the square root of 65,894?
14:14256.698.
14:18What's the first sentence of the seventh chapter of the last book you read?
14:22War and Peace.
14:23The rustle of a woman's dress was heard in the next room.
14:28He's smart.
14:29Yeah, that's his superpower.
14:30It feels like a partner trick.
14:32No, it's not a trick.
14:34Okay, that's function.
14:36You're exceptional.
14:37Take advantage of that.
14:39Gee, I had no idea how amazing I was.
14:45All right, it's time for you to go.
14:47Feed or fall apart.
14:49Hey, drop your fangs, bite, and drink.
14:53Make them forget when it's over.
14:55Exactly.
14:59Exactly.
15:11Hey.
15:13Hey.
15:32Come on, what's wrong with me?
15:36Come on.
15:39Almost there.
16:02Oh, so the baby bird returns to the nest.
16:07Well, that's not Reginald.
16:10Back so soon?
16:13Hi, I'm Angela.
16:17Mary's home.
16:22Come on in.
16:23Come on.
16:24Oh, my God.
17:15Oh, my God.
17:24Oh, my God.
17:36What the?
17:39Nice night.
17:40I love a warm breeze.
17:43You about to jump me?
17:45Not exactly.
17:47You think I'm praying for a dude like you?
17:50That's actually closer to the truth than you might understand.
17:54Andrew gave me a little, man.
17:57I want to drink your blood.
17:59Excuse me?
18:00I need to drink your blood.
18:04Get away from me.
18:05I could break your neck before you even knew it hit you.
18:07Only thing's neck you can break off is a bucket of fried chicken.
18:09Make it easy on yourself.
18:12Come with me, and I will let you live.
18:14I don't think so.
18:16You don't know who you're messing with.
18:18I'm vampire.
18:21I own the knight.
18:23I'll pay you $25.
18:25$25 for my blood.
18:26$50, but we have to go to an ATM first.
18:29Hang on.
18:29If you're a vampire, where are your damn fangs?
18:39They're temporarily unavailable.
18:42I don't know who you think you're fooling,
18:44but vampires are all Patterson and shit.
18:47We're your cheekbones, fool.
18:48Well, in truth, vampires come in all shapes and sizes now.
18:51I'm done talking.
18:52Understand?
18:53Comic-Con is next month.
18:55Listen to me!
18:55Oh, I'm listening, motherfucker.
19:06So?
19:11How long has it been since you two last saw each other?
19:17A very long time.
19:21I saw you in New York.
19:24The night David Dinkins got elected mayor.
19:27I didn't see you.
19:29No.
19:31No, you didn't.
19:36I hear you met Isaac's brother, Eric.
19:40Man needs a weapons designation, not a name.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:45Well, I just wanted you to know face-to-face personally
19:49that Eric will no longer be a problem.
19:53You have my word.
19:55Well, Angie, if we got your word.
20:02Nice small home cooking.
20:06A touffet.
20:07Oh.
20:09Like Marisa's mother used to make.
20:15Well, it was nice meeting you, Angela.
20:19Is there anything else we can do for you tonight?
20:21I should go.
20:23It was lovely to meet you, too.
20:26Mike?
20:27Is it?
20:36I really didn't mean to intrude.
20:39I just wanted to see you in the flesh after all of these years.
20:45Don't be a stranger, young soldier.
20:51I remember we were going to break him.
20:55Who are you breaking now?
20:57Wait and see.
21:34Late for work?
21:36Something like that.
21:39Chocoholic blasts, just a pinch of tropical coconut.
21:42I feel the need to feed.
21:46You and me both.
22:02Reginald?
22:07I appreciate the customer service, but I'm perfectly capable of riding home by myself.
22:18There's a creepy vibe to what's happening here. You get that, right?
22:23I can't do this.
22:27I can't.
22:29I can't do what?
22:35Back the fuck up!
22:37Language!
22:38Dude, you have fangs!
22:40They have a mind of their own.
22:43Out they come, in they go.
22:45I'm helpless to control them.
22:47You think after all this time, I mean, it hasn't been a ton of time.
22:49Are you a vampire?
22:55Regrettably, yes.
22:56But you're fat.
22:57I don't know why that's relevant, but everyone keeps harping on it, so hey, thank you. I'm fully aware of
23:04my body issues.
23:07You were going to feed on me.
23:09It felt like my last available option.
23:11Well, I'm not letting you do that.
23:14As you wish.
23:16I forbid you entry into my home.
23:19Sounds about right.
23:20Be gone, undead creature of the night.
23:22Reginald.
23:23Is that really necessary?
23:35Reginald?
23:36Are you okay?
23:38No.
23:39What are you going to do?
23:42I'm going to sit here and wait for the sun to rise.
23:46But won't that burn you up?
23:48Yes, I'm lucky.
23:49I'm sorry in advance for the mess.
23:50I'll probably wash right off the sidewalk.
23:54What's it like, being a vampire?
23:57How does it look?
24:02Who made you?
24:04Long story.
24:07Well, JFTR, I know all about vampires, so I won't let you glamour me.
24:11Not to worry.
24:12The last time I tried to glamour someone, I got punched in the face.
24:16Will you promise not to bite me if I get you something good to eat?
24:20Yes.
24:21How do I know I can trust you?
24:23I'm a vampire, not an asshole.
24:26Right.
24:32Weak as a kitten, too.
24:36Aren't you going to invite me in?
24:37I'm just kidding about you not entering.
24:40Pretty sure that's just something they made up on TV.
24:42I mean, think about it.
24:48Mom will be back soon.
24:50That's when her second job ends, so you have to eat and run.
24:53And she leaves you all alone like this?
24:56Perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
24:59Not sure if this will help, but I can't hurt.
25:05There's blood in there, right?
25:07Technically, it's not blood.
25:09It's just water and a protein called myoglobin.
25:32My grandmother says chew your food 32 times before you swallow.
25:40That was an emergency.
25:42Pretty gross, to be honest.
25:44Sorry.
25:51Well, I'm going to go before your mom comes home.
25:56This is the weirdest fairy tale ever told.
26:00Will you come back and visit?
26:02I mean, outside of the slushy shack.
26:05Mom's got extra long hours all week, so I get bored.
26:09Plenty of steaks in the freezer.
26:10I'll thaw some out.
26:12It's a date.
26:13Still a little creepy.
26:15I'm a vampire.
26:16Creepy's my brand.
26:17Up high, big guy.
26:45What is it?
26:49An invitation.
26:55From Angela.
27:13Oh.
27:18I love you, my God.
27:20I love you, my God.
27:21I love you, my God.
27:24I love you, my God.
27:24I love you, my God.
27:27I love you, my God.
27:33What the?
27:34What?
27:40What the hell are we doing here?
27:42You hate this woman.
27:44After everything she did to you,
27:46If I'm going to destroy Angela and her for good, then I need to know everything there is to know
27:52about her world.
27:53It's like she taught me. Knowledge is power.
28:08Have a good night.
28:12I'm giving Reginald ten minutes to get here, suit up, and get to work.
28:19Where else?
28:22Hi, welcome to Slushy Shack. How can I help you?
28:24I'm Slushy Shack.
28:51Bye, Jamal.
28:55Whoa.
28:56I'm having a best-in day.
28:58I'd say so. Maybe you should get that looked at?
29:01Yeah, first thing in the morning.
29:04Okay. Uh, Todd's getting pretty impatient, so you should probably get out front.
29:10Or see a dermatologist. Uh, whatever you think is best.
29:16Did you ever hear the story of the ant and the horse?
29:21The one now?
29:23The ant and the horse.
29:26I can't say that I have.
29:29There's this horse.
29:32And it's totally beautiful, the envy of all other horses.
29:37So, a pretty good horse.
29:39Best horse possible.
29:41And every day, the horse runs past this ant hill.
29:45And an ant waits for the horse every day.
29:49Now, the horse doesn't know the ant exists,
29:51but for the ant, the horse is the most important thing in the world.
29:57So, it waits.
29:59But the horse just runs on by.
30:02Not sure how I feel about this whole insect horse story.
30:05And then, one day, the horse stops to graze.
30:09Like, right next to the ant hill.
30:11And the ant, who's been waiting and hoping for so long,
30:16this is his moment.
30:17He, he, he walks up to the horse.
30:20And there's so much he wants to tell her.
30:23A tidal wave of feeling.
30:25But then, he notices that the horse is about to eat arrowgrass.
30:31Is that bad?
30:32The worst.
30:33Oh.
30:34Arrowgrass has a high cyanide content.
30:36Totally poisonous for the horse.
30:37Oh, that's not good.
30:38So, the ant races right up her nose.
30:42Like, deep up in there.
30:44And the horse rears back and sneezes.
30:48Shaking its head and it just trots off, leaving the grass behind.
30:52What happened to the ant?
30:54He shot right out of her nose and bounced off a tree.
30:58But he, he limps back to his hill.
31:01And that's where he waits.
31:03Every day.
31:05For the horse to return.
31:06Because, he'll save her life again and again.
31:13If that's what it takes.
31:16So, slushy counter?
31:20Or emergency dermatologist?
31:25Let's go back to work.
31:37Dude, you look like the shit a shit took.
31:41I, maybe you should just take a sick day.
31:44Uh, hey, excuse me.
31:45Could I grab...
31:46Just one second, sir.
31:48That hat is not regulation.
31:50And I'm gonna have to ask you to remove the sunglasses pronto.
31:53Welcome to the slushy shack.
31:54How may I help you?
31:57Big guy, you need to feed, and you need to feed now.
32:00Tell me something I don't know.
32:14Your face looks like toxic waste.
32:16I know, thank you.
32:17Here you go.
32:20Feed on Todd.
32:21What?
32:22That was disgusting.
32:23He's young, he's fat.
32:25I bet his blood tastes awesome.
32:27Regi-wide.
32:29You stink.
32:31Feed on Todd.
32:35What the hell happened to your face?
32:39There you go.
32:40There you go.
35:22Thanks for coming. We'll see you again real soon.
35:24Yep. Thanks.
35:27Maybe I should check on Reginald.
35:30You want to check? Check on your own time.
35:33Welcome to Sushi Shack. How can I help you?
35:36Hey.
35:37What are you doing back there? That break was for employees only.
35:41Reginald is very, very sick.
35:43Tell someone who cares, okay?
35:48I think he's dead.
35:54Don't move. I'll be right back.
36:01Dude, get your ass out of here.
36:04Whatever mess you're making, I do not want to clean it up. You understand me?
36:11Oh. You're disgusting.
36:19Oh.
36:20Someone's wrong with your eyes, man.
36:24What the hell happened to your mouth?
36:28Jesus.
36:29That does it, okay?
36:31You're fired.
36:36That's what the eye fuck, friendo.
36:39Listen to me.
36:41What?
36:43Listen to me.
36:46I'm going to bite your neck and drink your blood, and that fills you with joy and happiness.
36:51It is the greatest thing that's ever happened to you.
36:53And when I'm done, you will forget that it ever happened.
37:19I'm going to bite your neck and drink your blood, and that fills you with joy and happiness.
37:43What did you do?
37:46You drugged me?
37:49Where's Mike?
37:57Why?
37:58Oh, baby, you know the answer to that.
38:09Todd?
38:17Hello, Sarah.
38:21What do you say we get ourselves back to work, huh?
38:31Okay.
38:36Nice.
38:42Maurice.
38:43Huah.
38:43Huah.
38:49Huah.
38:50Huah.
38:50Huah.
38:50Huah.
38:53Huah.
38:54Huah.
38:54Huah.
38:54Huah.
38:56Huah. Huah.
39:21Comfortable?
39:23Coffin?
39:24Seriously?
39:25And you always said I didn't have a sense of humor.
39:27Do I look amused?
39:29Where am I?
39:31You're in a wooden box about to incinerate.
39:34But if it's any consolation as your maker, I will know the exact moment when you burn.
39:40I'll feel it.
39:41I made you in Oakland.
39:43You were such a beautiful boy, but your hunger for revenge almost ended us.
39:49And I followed you all the way home, where I begged you to leave your family behind, but you would
39:55not listen to me.
39:56You did not speechify me before you shoved me into this fire.
39:59And now you show up in Ohio without any good reason except for that's where I am.
40:03Did you think I wouldn't see you coming?
40:05Angel's blood?
40:06What the hell were you thinking, young soldier?
40:09Is that how you honor the gift that I gave you?
40:12I gave you forever.
40:13And that vampire you made is an abomination.
40:18Perfection is what keeps our nation safe.
40:21And not only is he less than perfect, but he is defective, grotesque, and an insult to our purity.
40:30Reginald Andres will not survive the night.
40:34Angela!
40:36Angela!
40:49Angela!
41:09oh my sweet lord don't mind the rotund vampire of very little importance he's just passing
41:17through it's like i was never here who are you nobody trust me on that everyone thinks so
41:26you don't belong here i mean if you think about it does anyone really belong here
41:31you're lying to me again not to argue semantics but i'm gonna rip your head off
42:08listen to me
42:19maurice you won't believe what i just did
42:28my damn feet are on fire got it
42:34so
42:43so
42:48so
42:53so
42:55so
42:56so
42:56so
42:59so
42:59so
42:59so
42:59so
43:00so
43:01so
43:06so
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