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The Cheap Seats - Season 6 Episode 2
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00:01Tonight, from across Australia and around the world,
00:05it's time to look back and unpack the week from the cheap seats
00:09with special guests, award-winning comedian Senia Pakola
00:13and comedian Josh Jack.
00:16And now, here are your hosts, Melanie Bracewell and Tim McDonald.
00:23Thank you for joining us in the cheap seats.
00:26It's so exciting to have an award-winning comedian
00:29and a comedian on the show.
00:31Exactly.
00:32Both are going to be great.
00:33We are so excited.
00:34It's great to have them here.
00:35Great to have you with us as well as we work our way
00:37through another massive week of news.
00:39But we have to start with the shooting at the White House
00:42Correspondents' Dinner.
00:44Yes, this is massive news.
00:45We just thought we'd keep it light.
00:47This was a big incident in the US.
00:49Thankfully, everyone is okay.
00:51Everyone is fine.
00:51It all happened at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.
00:54And here is the Press Secretary, Caroline Levitt, on the red carpet.
00:57It'll be funny.
00:58It'll be entertaining.
00:59There will be some shots fired tonight.
01:02Okay.
01:04Amazingly, the first time that she's told the truth.
01:06Exactly.
01:07That is very exciting.
01:09This all happened early Sunday morning Australian time.
01:12Everyone's okay.
01:12We want to focus on the media's coverage of it.
01:15And the news in Australia broke on the morning show.
01:18I have some beautiful duck breast here.
01:21Donald Trump evacuated from White House.
01:24But don't let that interrupt the cooking segment.
01:26Don't let it interrupt the duck breast.
01:28Yes.
01:29They were saying duck for a very different reason.
01:32Look, in times of chaos, we turn to the ABC for the facts.
01:35Journalists hiding under dinner tables.
01:38We know that they had just been served a spring pea and burrata salad.
01:44Amazing.
01:46It is terrifying to think that Donald Trump came this close to eating a salad.
01:50It is terrifying.
01:51That is crazy.
01:52Well, for the guests in the room, there was naturally panic.
01:55So I wasn't quite sure what they were pointing at.
01:57Yeah, I was deep into my burrata salad.
01:59Let's forget the burrata salad.
02:02They were just excited because under Joe Biden, it was mostly puree-based meals.
02:05Exactly.
02:06It's great.
02:07We saw chaotic scenes at the dinner.
02:10Snipers, secret service officers.
02:12And in the bottom left-hand corner, you can see someone just really enjoying the salad.
02:20If you see the price of burrata, you've got to go to town while you can.
02:23Exactly.
02:24There was chaos in the room.
02:25While a few brave guests rescued some champagne bottles from the table.
02:31Let's take a couple of those for the road.
02:34No one left behind.
02:36She was caught red-handed, white-handed and rosé-handed as well.
02:40Thankfully, the president was unharmed.
02:42And we heard from Donald Trump after the incident.
02:45I also saw a lot of very strong, physically strong, really attractive law enforcement
02:53people come through those doors.
02:55These guys were hot.
02:57Some of those babes in the villa.
02:59When they stood in front of me to shield me, I saw dead ass.
03:04Yes.
03:06Whose voice is that, by the way?
03:08That's Donald Trump.
03:09It's been a big week at the White House.
03:11It's been a huge week.
03:12One of the biggest weeks in terms of weeks.
03:15It has been a big week at the White House.
03:17King Charles and Queen Camilla have arrived at the White House for the start of their four-day
03:21state visit to the US.
03:23Mm-hmm.
03:24And we've actually got a look at the plane that the King and Queen arrived in.
03:27This is amazing.
03:40The White House.
03:50The White House.
03:52The White House.
03:58This is a tour of the new home for the presidential bees.
04:00A beehive in the shape of a White House.
04:03This is amazing.
04:04Wow.
04:04Can we see that again?
04:05The Trump beehive.
04:07They make Manuka honey and Ivanka honey.
04:09Oh, I don't know.
04:10Which is interesting.
04:11That is brilliant.
04:12Yeah.
04:12Now, for those viewers wondering if the honey in the hive is a light clover and basewood
04:18flavour with a subtle hint of citrus.
04:24In case you're wondering.
04:25In case you're wondering.
04:28Let's move on now.
04:30And it has been a busy week for the president.
04:31Not just the dinner, but important meetings as well.
04:34Donald Trump appeared to have another urgent meeting yesterday with the back of his eyelids.
04:40That's important.
04:41That's important.
04:42This is amazing.
04:43He fell asleep during the Oval Office briefing.
04:45He wasn't the only one.
04:46Some are growing weary of waiting for peace.
04:49Never too early to learn to duck, are you?
04:54We might need to fact check that.
04:56Okay.
04:56A couple of our audience having an urgent meeting with the back of their eyelids.
05:00Let's head back home.
05:01And the government here are under pressure to start taxing gas exports.
05:04That's been the big story during the week.
05:06But they're being lobbied by Japan not to.
05:08Japan, an early investor and a big buyer of Australian gas,
05:12has been quietly lobbying the government against a new tax.
05:16Prime Minister Sanayi Takaichi to make a pre-budget dash to Australia.
05:23Would you call that quietly lobbying?
05:25No.
05:26She's sending mixed symbols.
05:33Can we see her again?
05:34That is amazing.
05:35That is the Prime Minister of Japan on the drum kit.
05:36She's actually a drummer for the iconic Japanese rock band, Guns and Cherry Blossoms.
05:40Oh.
05:42Let's press on.
05:43And of course, Saturday marked Anzac Day.
05:46Of course, a day to remember and to give thanks to all those Australians and New Zealanders
05:49who have served their nations.
05:50Exactly.
05:51We saw some incredible scenes across Australia and the media had full coverage.
05:55People from all walks of life.
05:57People with medals, young people, teenagers in their shorts and in their jeans.
06:04It's important to talk about their shorts and their jeans.
06:08And their jeans.
06:09It was great to see so many people get up so early for the denim service and pay their
06:12respects.
06:13Beautiful.
06:14In their levers.
06:15We saw some moving scenes across Australia.
06:20Beautiful scenes.
06:22Nice to have the Japanese back on board.
06:31Let's stick with Anzac Day and the commemorations.
06:35Speaking of music, Sunrise had a very touching musical tribute.
06:40I stood upon the rocky shores.
06:43I watched the tall ships come.
06:48This is amazing.
06:49I didn't know that you were in the ten tenors.
06:53Here you are, right smack in the middle.
06:56See if you can spot me.
06:59He's behind that quite short hair.
07:03That was fantastic.
07:04Good to see Breakfast TV get into the spirit.
07:06Yeah, yeah.
07:06It was a big morning for Breakfast TV.
07:08The Today Show were live on the beach.
07:10There is some inclement weather around.
07:12But as I said, nothing compared to what our servicemen and women have gone through.
07:18You're saying they weren't dealing with a light drizzle?
07:20Exactly.
07:22No, let's check back in.
07:24Welcome back to this very special edition of Anzac Day.
07:27They were under enemy fire from Weekend Sunrise.
07:32Of course it was three years to the day where they defeated Studio 10.
07:36Yeah.
07:38Look, there was some sad news at these dawn services.
07:41Some were marred by booing during the Welcome to Country ceremonies.
07:44Skyny has spoke to Pastor Ray Minikin, who spoke so well on the issue.
07:48Exactly.
07:48He spoke so well.
07:49But he did have a little bit of trouble with his Zoom.
07:52Despicable.
07:53Ray, given that this happened in Melbourne and Sydney and Perth, I understand, on the same
07:57morning in the same way, does it seem to you like an organised campaign?
08:06It's awkward if you're doing an interview and you're trying to swipe left to the person you're talking to.
08:11Yes.
08:11I think Ray was just trying to end the call.
08:14We're there just to do one particular thing for our...
08:20It looks like we've lost Ray Minikin there.
08:24I could see him pressing those buttons on his computer.
08:27He may well have pressed the wrong one.
08:28We don't know.
08:30I think he pressed the right one.
08:32Yes.
08:33He very rarely seen Goodbye to Country ceremonies.
08:39We owe so much to our soldiers, many of whom went on to achieve so much back home.
08:44Former soldiers have founded some of our best known companies.
08:49Coles was started by World War One veteran George Coles.
08:52Dan Murphy was a flight sergeant who launched more than 280 bottle shops.
08:58Yeah, the first aircraft to be fitted with an interlock.
09:00Yep.
09:02That's amazing.
09:03This is true.
09:03He did serve in World War Two in the RAAF, in the Air Force.
09:06He apparently dropped the first Jager bomb on Japan.
09:09Wow.
09:11Wow.
09:11Beautiful.
09:12Beautiful.
09:15Back to Anzac Day, and I think this guest on Sky News summed it up best.
09:19Tell us what Anzac Day means to you.
09:21It's all about mateship and also just coming together as a country
09:25and playing a bit of two-up.
09:26Love you, Dad!
09:27Yeah!
09:28Pails never pales, baby!
09:30Yeah!
09:31Thank you to the Governor General.
09:33I've got a tear.
09:33That is beautiful words.
09:35It was an incredible day across the country, and it means so much to so many.
09:38111 years later, we are standing on these beaches in silence, in our jeans, in our gym gear.
09:45What sort of jeans?
09:46What sort of jeans?
09:48Nan has a Levi sponsorship.
09:50She has to leave her.
09:51Unbelievable.
09:53All right.
09:53Moving on now.
09:54Let's head overseas.
09:55Let's head to South Africa.
09:57Suspended EMPD Deputy Chief, Julius Mkwinazi, and Kurileni City Manager, Kakiso Lerukla,
10:03are expected back in the Barksburg Magistrates Court today.
10:07Okay, there's a lot going on there.
10:08Slightly distracted by someone in the first 11.
10:11Reading the news.
10:13Reading the news.
10:14So this was a corruption case in South Africa.
10:16Yes, it was.
10:17It was a corruption trial.
10:19Let's take a look at how it went.
10:21So if you could go to an extra JD 17, in the file.
10:29It gets a bit hard under the lights.
10:31Do you have it?
10:42Unbelievable.
10:43Slightly distracted.
10:44Thankfully, he got some help.
10:45Can you help?
10:46Sorry.
10:47Sorry, Commissioner.
10:50You have a tissue stuck on your forehead.
10:54Oh, right.
10:54We've got tissue stuck on your forehead.
10:56It's awesome.
10:57He is a hero.
10:57We've got a great show for you tonight.
10:59We'll be back with plenty more in the cheap seat.
11:01Well after that.
11:15Welcome back to the cheap seat.
11:17It is so great to have you with us.
11:20Now working in the newsroom, you never know what story is going to land on your desk next.
11:25Every so often, one of these stories, they can stop you in your tracks.
11:27And you need to give that story the respect it deserves.
11:30And in a world struggling with division and hardship.
11:34Brings a tear to our eye when we hear stories like this.
11:38Well Arnott's has unveiled a new flavour in its popular shapes biscuit range called pizza shapes.
11:44It's a combination of barbecue and pizza flavours.
11:47Together at last.
11:49Trump has now settled 10 wars.
11:52Well done.
11:53Barbecue and pizza.
11:54And speaking of exciting collaborations.
11:57This segment is brought to you by our brand new sponsor AHM Insurance.
12:01AHM Insurance!
12:06AHM Insurance for People Things.
12:08It is great to have them on board.
12:09Great to have them back after last week.
12:11They came back.
12:12That's how good they are.
12:13That's great.
12:14Big thank you to AHM.
12:14And they've got such a great segment to sponsor.
12:18Oh.
12:18Because it's time for...
12:26Mouse Markets!
12:27Back by popular demand.
12:30And this is where I take you through all the ups and downs of the stock market,
12:34the nitty gritty, a deep dive into all things economics.
12:37I've been crunching the numbers.
12:39And good time too because the federal budget is not far away.
12:41A lot of economic turmoil around the globe.
12:44Obviously.
12:44This is a good chance to break it all down.
12:45I've seen all of that.
12:47But where do we start?
12:49Understandably, Australians are miserable.
12:54And that was...
12:55Oh right!
12:58Meryl's Markets!
13:01Thank you for breaking that down.
13:03You're welcome.
13:05Let's move on now.
13:06Here's an interesting story.
13:07A welfare check on an elderly resident has led to a surprising discovery.
13:11It all started when the 91-year-old grandma missed a daily check-in phone call.
13:17Officers went to the woman's home.
13:18But they found her playing video games in her bedroom.
13:22This is an amazing story.
13:24Be me, sister.
13:25Yeah!
13:26The queen there, grandmother.
13:27She's the 90-year-old grandmother in the US.
13:29Apparently we found out that she was playing Grand Theft Auto.
13:34Which was good.
13:35I think she's fine.
13:38There's a few other games she's already finished.
13:40She's finished World of Warcraft.
13:44It's a brilliant knitting game.
13:46It's good fun.
13:47I thought she was playing EA Sports Mahjong 26.
13:50New graphics.
13:52I think what she's looking forward to playing is The Legend of Zelda.
13:57You remember Zelda, right?
13:58She was my neighbour 45 years ago.
14:00Used to take my mandarins from this tree in the front garden.
14:04She's dead now.
14:05That's a good game.
14:06That is a good game.
14:07It's a great game.
14:08It's a great game.
14:09It's a great game.
14:09Hey, speaking of older generations, there are some great initiatives out there for the elderly.
14:15Like this new trial to help dementia player patients.
14:17John has been trialing a memory aid at home.
14:21His wife, Helen, sets reminders.
14:23So John, what do you make of these phones?
14:26Well, I've got dementia, so how the hell will I know?
14:33Well done, John.
14:33Well done.
14:35That was beautiful.
14:36They're great fun.
14:37They programmed to only call 3AW.
14:40When it comes to seniors, we couldn't look past this story.
14:44Naughty nannas defying age and expectations.
14:52Naughty nannas.
14:53It's like they're reading your Google search history too.
14:59They have been defying my expectations.
15:02What were the naughty nannas doing?
15:04They're on a day trip to sexy boutique.
15:06Okay.
15:07Of course.
15:08Forget the RSL.
15:09Forget bingo.
15:10No, this was a big story on A Current Affair where residents from a Melbourne rest home
15:13went out on a day trip for a bit of shopping.
15:16And how did they go?
15:19Cheryl was an absolute menace.
15:22What are you laughing at?
15:23No, nothing.
15:24You're being cheeky again, aren't you?
15:26Me?
15:28While Norma was so excited, she forgot she needed a walk-up.
15:33This is amazing.
15:35This is incredible.
15:35And we are so excited to announce, one of the naughty nannas joins us at the desk.
15:40Ladies and gentlemen, would you please put your hands together for Cheryl!
15:49Thank you so much for joining us.
15:51Amazing.
15:52Amazing to have you.
15:54Now, we saw you in the package going crazy at Sexy Boutique.
15:58What was that experience like?
15:59Fun, fun, fun!
16:02So this was a trip for you and the girls to go out.
16:06These are sort of trips that you do regularly?
16:08Not those sort of things, but we do go out regularly.
16:11Yes.
16:11All the time.
16:12Yeah.
16:13Lunches.
16:14Lunches.
16:15We don't do dinner because we're old people.
16:17Okay.
16:19Unless someone's taking me and paying.
16:24Sounds like you want me to ask you out, Cheryl, if that's where you're going with that.
16:28Maybe.
16:29Well, I have been to sexy land.
16:35We would love to know.
16:36Yes.
16:37What did you buy from the Sexy Boutique?
16:39Did you buy anything?
16:40Lingerie.
16:41Ooh!
16:42And it's in the hope chest.
16:44Hope to be able to use it!
16:49Well, we've got a shot.
16:50Let's take a look.
16:53No, we don't.
16:53We don't have that.
16:55What's in your hope chest too?
16:58I lost hope a long time ago.
17:01So, Cheryl.
17:02So, were there anything that shocked you at Sexy Boutique?
17:05Did you...
17:07Unfortunately, no!
17:09No!
17:10You've seen it all before?
17:12No, no, I haven't seen it at all before.
17:14Oh, right.
17:14But it was an eye open of it.
17:18That's amazing.
17:19Now, you had a lot of fun at Sexy Boutique, but Jan, one of your friends, she also had a
17:26lot of fun and she bought a couple of other products as well.
17:29Soon, the fun was over and it was time to leave Sexy Boutique behind.
17:34You've bought the whole shop.
17:35What have you got here?
17:35I do.
17:36Well, I've got suckers.
17:38Yeah.
17:39Uh, you know, things to .
17:45Some nice .
17:48What are you going to do with this?
17:50I'm not going to tell you.
17:52What?
17:54That is unbelievable.
17:57Now, has Jan been sort of hanging out and going to these lunches or has she been quite
18:02busy?
18:03She kept it all to herself.
18:06Mean old lady.
18:09Sorry, Jan.
18:10I love you.
18:12So, apparently you watch a bit of TV.
18:14What shows do you normally like to watch?
18:16I like Lifestyle.
18:19Oh.
18:20Yeah, Antiques, Bargain Hunt, Murder Mystery.
18:26I'm in love with Midsommar Murders.
18:28I don't know where they find all these dead people.
18:34In terms of death rate per capita, Midsommar Abbey and Midsommar Worthy, they are right
18:39up there.
18:41Well, we've been so excited to get you on the show.
18:43Am I right in saying that when our producers called you, you were keen but then you thought
18:49maybe it was a scam?
18:51Definitely thought you were a scam.
18:53I thought...
18:54No, no, no.
18:56It's not taking me for a ride.
18:59Well, you did bring me for a ride.
19:01You did bring me for a ride.
19:03Not one of those.
19:04Not one of us.
19:07We did.
19:08We did.
19:08And we've had a lot of big name celebrities join us.
19:12But you haven't a big, big girl.
19:13No.
19:15We haven't.
19:16We haven't.
19:17We haven't.
19:21And backstage, a few of our producers were telling us, we've had some big names, singers
19:25and actors and musicians, but never have we had a slightly more diva guest than Cheryl.
19:31Oh!
19:32Oh!
19:33Because apparently we made you a cup of tea and you weren't happy with the cup of tea,
19:39were you?
19:40No, no.
19:40It tasted like flowers.
19:43Oh!
19:43So we made...
19:44I want a cup of tea that tastes like a cup of tea.
19:46Like my men.
19:48Strong and bold.
19:52I was...
19:53I was hoping you were going to say, we can wash, because we're right in there.
19:59Never mind.
20:02Cheryl, you are lightning in a bottle.
20:05You've clearly lived an amazing life.
20:06Have you got any tips to pass on to the younger generation about living well?
20:11Do whatever you want, whenever you want, and as long as you want.
20:14Yay!
20:14Yay!
20:18On that incredible life advice, we're going to take a break.
20:21Ladies and gentlemen, will you please thank Cheryl!
20:38Welcome back to The Chief Seat.
20:40And it's time for our very special guest.
20:43Celia Pakwola
20:44Celia Pakwola
20:45Celia Pakwola
20:46I am Australia's occasional sweetheart, Celia Pakwola
20:49If you're referring to my outfit, I'll have you know
20:51I am naked and this is a rash
20:53What's this got to do with anything?
20:55Yes, I am available, whatever, shut up
20:57We are so excited to welcome award winning
20:59Writer, actor and comedian, Celia Pakwola
21:04Hi buddy
21:05Hi mate
21:06We are so excited to see you
21:08Thank you so much for being here
21:09And a big congratulations
21:11Congratulations is in order
21:12Because your show just won
21:14Most Outstanding Show at the Melbourne International
21:17Unbelievable
21:19Thank you
21:20Thank you
21:21I know
21:22How does it feel?
21:23Honestly, it feels really incredible
21:25Although I do feel like I should hand it over to Cheryl at this point
21:28Because I don't know how to follow that
21:30I don't know about you
21:31But I'm thinking petition for Cheryl on Gogglebox
21:33Right now
21:35Cheryl and Jan
21:36Sexy boutique, Gogglebox crossover
21:38Just the two of them sitting there on their vibrating couch
21:41Having a wonderful time
21:43But that's comment
21:44Mate, I'm shook
21:47We'll put a word into the bosses
21:49Congratulations
21:50It is incredible
21:50It was incredible
21:51I was beside myself
21:52And then I found out that there was no cash prize
21:54So that was less exciting
21:55But then I was excited again
21:57Honestly, it's the most meaningful achievement of my career
22:01So I guess I just walk into the ocean now
22:03I feel it
22:04You're done?
22:05I can't believe it
22:06I still can't believe it
22:07It's very exciting
22:09It is a very prestigious award
22:10Did you celebrate in any special way?
22:12Well, weirdly
22:13I don't know if you know this
22:13It's in the day
22:14I'm sure the Oscars are the same
22:15It's at 12.30
22:16That real showbiz hours
22:17The awards are at 12.30
22:18Right
22:19And I'd had a couple of champagnes
22:20Because, hello
22:21And then I went out into the sunlight
22:23I was like, what do I do?
22:24I've got to celebrate
22:25I need to eat some
22:25Because I've had some champagne
22:26So it was like, special occasion
22:27So I went and found some food
22:28And I believe you've got a
22:31This is it
22:32This is literally what I ate
22:34It's a curried egg and cress sandwich
22:36Wow
22:37Yeah, that's what I chose
22:38It's a bit sad, isn't it?
22:39It's kind of like if you got your death row meal from 7-Eleven
22:42Well, let's talk about the show
22:44Because I went to go see it in a comedy festival
22:46It was hilarious
22:48It's called Gift Horse
22:49And you're touring it around Australia
22:51For those who haven't seen the show
22:52Can you give us a summary?
22:54Yes, so basically if you know me
22:55I don't do shows every year
22:57I only do a show when I've got something important
22:58Going on in my life
22:59Something that I feel like I need to work through
23:00With people
23:01Something I've got to say to the world
23:03Like my last show was about having a baby
23:04Okay, huge change in my life
23:06And I was doing a show this year
23:07And then last year
23:08On my 42nd birthday
23:10My boyfriend gave me an inflatable kayak
23:14And that's the show
23:16That's the show, 100%
23:17That's what the whole show is about
23:18The whole show is basically
23:19One long breakfast radio segment
23:22I'm sorry, it is
23:23That's why it's also so shocking
23:24To have won with this show
23:26That is possibly the most trivial
23:27But it's actually not
23:28When you get into
23:29About gift giving
23:30But that's truly what it is
23:31He gave me an inflatable kayak
23:33And it was supposed to be one joke
23:35And then it blew up
23:35Not unlike
23:36An inflatable kayak
23:37And it became
23:38A national and potentially global tour
23:40And now something that's won this
23:41So it's crazy
23:43This is the kayak
23:45This is the morning
23:45Look at the face of a woman
23:46Trying to pretend
23:47She doesn't hate that kayak
23:49Because I know you go
23:52Why is there a chicken in that
23:53That's my daughter
23:54My partner is Pluckaduck
23:59Because kayaks
24:00This is the thing
24:00Some people love kayaks
24:01So people are like
24:02What do you mean
24:02That's not necessarily
24:02Let me explain to you
24:04On the morning of my 42nd birthday
24:05This morning
24:06And I walked out
24:06And found this
24:07Inflated
24:07Inflatable kayak
24:09And I said
24:10It's a kayak
24:11Was the first time
24:12I've ever said the word kayak
24:16So that's what's part of it
24:18So your partner
24:19Bought this gift for you
24:21And now you're doing a show about it
24:23How does he feel
24:25Well
24:25His name is Dara
24:26I'll tell you this
24:26So I've been working on the show
24:27For a year and a half
24:28Since my birthday in February
24:29And until very recently
24:31He hadn't seen any of it
24:32Right
24:32He didn't want to see it
24:33I tried to tell him bits
24:33And I talk a lot about him in the show
24:35And he's like
24:35No no I want to wait
24:36Until it's finished
24:36Okay
24:37Hadn't seen it
24:37Until two weeks ago
24:39In Melbourne
24:39He saw it for the first time
24:40In the comedy theatre
24:41In the Melbourne International Comedy Festival
24:44And I really miss him
24:50Sorry
24:51But I got the award
24:52So what are you going to do
24:53I know
24:54He liked it
24:54Thank goodness he liked it
24:56He liked it a lot
24:56And also I'm aware how lucky I am
24:58Like this is a ridiculous job to do
24:59When you have partners
25:00Like I don't know how your partner feels
25:01But like normal people
25:02If you give your partner a shit gift
25:04Maybe you're in the family WhatsApp
25:05I'm talking shit about him
25:07Up and down the country
25:08On TV
25:10Thousands of people
25:11Have laughed at the bad choice he made
25:13Oh man
25:14And he's fine
25:15He's fine
25:15He seems to like it
25:17Has he given you a gift since?
25:18Because there is now a lot of pressure
25:19On his next gift
25:20Well the thing is
25:21Because this became the best show I've ever done
25:25And won me this award
25:27I'm pretty sure I'm going to be getting inflatable kayaks
25:30Every year
25:31For the rest of my damn life
25:34Which is fair
25:35Maybe I'll get a canoe in there
25:37It's going to be very hard for it to be a surprise
25:39When you're in bed and you're going to hear
25:42But to be honest
25:43Because I have had another birthday
25:45So 43
25:46So for this year
25:47He did very well
25:47And he got me a very tasteful gift from Sexy Boutique
25:50Which I love
25:52Beautiful
25:53That's lovely
25:53We are so happy that you won the award
25:55And you shared this amazing image on your socials
25:58So that's the award on the right
25:59And on the left
26:00This is an award that I won 20 years ago
26:02My fifth ever gig
26:03Because this is my submission for
26:06Most humble comedian of the year
26:07Thank you
26:09But it was my fifth ever gig I won the Raw Recruit
26:11Raw is the open mic competition
26:12And this
26:13I was the first and last person to win this award
26:15They never did it again
26:17I know
26:18It was for the best first time entrant
26:19So it was my fifth time on stage
26:21I was in the town hall
26:22And I won that
26:23And then 20 years later
26:24That's this one
26:25Wow
26:27That's amazing
26:28So
26:31You are celebrating 20 years in comedy
26:34It is amazing
26:35It is amazing
26:36And excitingly
26:37We have found the footage
26:38From 20 years ago
26:40Could you please give it up for Celia
26:42For Paula
26:43Oh my god
26:44Oh my god
26:46Look at that baby
26:47Terrified
26:48Look at me
26:48Terrified
26:49I love that you're paying
26:50Respect to the Anzacs
26:51And your jeans
26:53That is so mean
26:57Imagine your first day at work
26:58Someone filming it
26:59And putting it on TV
27:0020 years later
27:00Anyway
27:01So that was my fifth time on stage
27:02Absolutely terrified
27:03And I think I can say
27:04I can't remember
27:05But I think I'd say
27:05My best joke
27:06Was probably my haircut
27:09Well I think
27:10Your second best joke
27:11Was this one
27:11Oh no
27:11I think we should just be able
27:12To do things that we enjoy
27:13In life
27:14You know
27:14Simple things
27:15Like
27:15I enjoy when things are ironic
27:17Sometimes I'll suffocate a sheep
27:19With a woolen jumper
27:20And say
27:20And say
27:21You did this
27:23Yeah
27:24That's what we would do
27:26If someone goes
27:27I'm going to play your material
27:29From 20 years ago
27:30That was quite
27:31That still holds up
27:32That's a double joke as well
27:33You did this
27:34Because also EWE
27:35I mean that's quite smart
27:37I didn't even know
27:37That I did that
27:38You let me just figure that out
27:39Now
27:40Celia is currently touring
27:42Her show
27:42Gift Horse
27:42Around the country
27:43Head to
27:44Comedy.com.au
27:45For tickets
27:45Ladies and gentlemen
27:46Would you please
27:47Thank the wonderful
27:47Celia For Paula
28:02Welcome back
28:02To The Feet Street
28:03It's time to check the show
28:04Ladies and gentlemen
28:05Would you please
28:05Welcome our very own
28:06Cultural Correspondent
28:06It's Mel Tresina
28:07Mel Tresina
28:10Hello Mel
28:11Lovely to see you
28:12Speaking of showbiz
28:14Apparently there's
28:14A very exciting
28:15Announcement today
28:16Apparently
28:17Big Brother's coming back
28:22Oh my gosh
28:24Yes
28:24Big Brother 2
28:252 Big 2 Brother
28:27Yes
28:27Big Brother Tokyo Drift
28:29Yes
28:30We're working on the title
28:31This is exciting
28:32So fans want to know
28:33When will it be?
28:34Good question
28:36Okay
28:38When do applications open?
28:42Is it back at Dreamworld?
28:45These are all
28:46Really good questions
28:47I would love to give you
28:48An answer from Tim
28:49Are you involved
28:50In the production at all?
28:52Well that's my next question
28:53Will you be returning
28:55As host?
28:56I think so
28:57I mean
28:58Yes
28:59Yes
29:00I can't wait
29:02To the headline
29:03I think so
29:04Says presumptuous Mel
29:07We asked because
29:08And speaking of headlines
29:09We saw this over the summer
29:10In New Idea
29:12According to sources
29:13Mel has laid down
29:14A firm set of demands
29:16Before she agrees to return
29:17Yes
29:18Yes
29:19Look how angry I was
29:21In that
29:21You were so angry
29:22What were some of the demands?
29:24Just you know
29:25Like an inflatable kayak
29:28I said something like
29:29I want my tea
29:29Like my men
29:30Strong and bold
29:33She did not say
29:34Strong and bold
29:35She did
29:36Strong and bold
29:37Oh
29:43Well
29:45I like mine bold
29:47I was wondering
29:48How you had a bold
29:49Cup of tea
29:51And how do you think
29:52You have a bold cup of tea?
29:55I was going to ask
29:56You guys the same question
29:56Yeah I mean I guess
29:56I don't want hair
29:57In my tea
29:58Yes
30:02Well that's answered a lot
30:06Let's move on
30:06There's lots of
30:07Happening in the Water
30:07Show
30:07Yes there is
30:08Alright so Channel 7
30:09Have a brand new
30:10Renovation show
30:11My Reno Rules
30:13And who better
30:14To host a renovation show
30:16Than everyone's favourite
30:17Vet
30:18Dr Chris Brown
30:19Of course
30:20Of course
30:20Well it's good in case
30:21That show needs to be put down
30:22He'll be right on
30:26The judges on these
30:27Renovation shows
30:28They always show me
30:29New ways of using
30:31Design jargon
30:32In my everyday life
30:33I loved it
30:36No seriously
30:38This bathroom
30:39Cranked my tractor
30:40I think that's a product
30:45You can get from
30:46Sexy Boutique
30:47A tractor cranker
30:52Over to 10 for
30:53MasterChef Australia
30:55So the show is in
30:57It's 18th season
30:58And has stepped up
30:59With technology
31:00And gotten a little
31:00Meta
31:08The frames start to play
31:10And it's Sophia
31:11And it's Sophia's first
31:14It's like a window
31:15Into her home
31:16Which is really sweet
31:21I think we're going to
31:22Cut it there
31:23I think we're about to see
31:24A tractor get cranked
31:28And also
31:29That's not her husband
31:30Wow
31:32It's like
31:32I don't think
31:33You're only in your
31:34Like she's
31:35Only done a couple
31:36Of seasons
31:36It's better
31:37You'll need to be
31:37Working from home
31:39Come on
31:40Interesting
31:40She likes her
31:41Man likes
31:41She likes her teeth
31:43Tall and hairy
31:53Now what I love
31:54About the show
31:55Is the banter
31:56Between the judges
31:57And the contestants
32:00Alisha
32:01Hi
32:01Are we getting
32:02Some Latina flavours
32:03You're actually not
32:07That's a no
32:08That's a no
32:10So the floor
32:11Continues on 9
32:12A game show
32:13Where contestants
32:14Verse each other
32:15In expert categories
32:16And
32:16Contestant
32:19Pancakes and eggs
32:22Contestant Kelsey's
32:23Expert topic
32:24Is weddings
32:25And she reveals
32:26Her big advantage
32:29I think Shane
32:30Thinks I'm going to
32:31Be an easy target
32:32You got this
32:33You got this
32:35But
32:35I've been married
32:36Three times
32:39Four time lucky
32:40Wow
32:41She likes her men
32:42Like she likes
32:43Her teeth
32:44In a multi-pack
32:53Let me get out
32:55My showbiz gavel
32:56Because I have
32:57Some legal drama
33:00Friday
33:00Was a federal
33:02Court case
33:02Management hearing
33:03For Kyle
33:04And Jackie O
33:05And whilst
33:05Jackie O
33:06Wasn't present
33:06Kyle Sanderlands
33:07Did attend
33:08And he had
33:09One message
33:09For his former
33:10Employer ARN
33:11Suggesting
33:12He may drop
33:13His $85 million
33:15Lawsuit
33:16Against the
33:17Australian radio
33:18Network
33:18If they throw
33:19Him the mic back
33:21Put me back
33:22On the radio
33:22And let's get
33:23The share price
33:23Back up
33:24The ARN share price
33:26Is actually up
33:27Since Sanderlands
33:27Was so great
33:30This is amazing
33:31This is going to
33:31Be the trial
33:32Of the year
33:32Scheduled for
33:33Later in October
33:34I think
33:34They're going to
33:35Do both trials
33:35Either together
33:36Or separately
33:37Which are the
33:38Two options
33:41Not really
33:41Providing as much
33:42Information as I
33:43Thought I was
33:45They're pushing
33:45For it to be
33:46Together
33:46Yes
33:47Like barbecue
33:47And pizza
33:48Shapes coming
33:48Together as well
33:50But this is a big
33:51Legal talking point
33:52Isn't it
33:52It is
33:53It is
33:53All the legalities
33:54And these news
33:55Headlines of this
33:55Kyle and Jackie O saga
33:56It's been really
33:57Consuming
33:58So I've decided
33:58To switch off
34:00And turn to some
34:01Literature
34:02Instead
34:03So for the first
34:04Time this year
34:05It's time for
34:07Storytime with Mel
34:13Now Mel has
34:15Walked off
34:17I guess we didn't
34:18Fit her demands
34:19That she wanted
34:20For the season
34:20She wanted that
34:21Kayak
34:21She wanted lots
34:22Of things
34:23Mel
34:24Mel where are you
34:25I'm just
34:26I'm just here
34:27At the Channel 10
34:28Library
34:30Look
34:31With my tea
34:33That is strong
34:34And bold
34:36A lot of books
34:37Around you
34:38There is
34:39Yeah
34:39So I thought
34:39We should read
34:40Some of my
34:41Favourite passages
34:42From an Aussie
34:44Icon
34:44A book that I've
34:45Really been
34:45Digging my teeth
34:46Into
34:47Jackie O
34:50The whole truth
34:51Wow
34:52No reason
34:53Just like from
34:54One successful
34:55Radio broadcaster
34:56To another
34:58So if everyone
34:59Wants to gather
34:59Around and grab
35:00Their copy
35:01We'll open it
35:02Together to
35:02Page 62
35:04Now this was
35:05Published last
35:05Year before
35:06All the legal
35:06Drama
35:07So this is
35:08One of my
35:08Favourite passages
35:09Please
35:09She spoke
35:10About the
35:11First time
35:11That she
35:11Met Kyle
35:12Little did
35:13I know
35:14I had just
35:14Been introduced
35:15To the man
35:15Who would
35:16Forever change
35:17My life
35:17And become
35:18One of my
35:18Most trusted
35:19Friends
35:19His sheer
35:21Brilliance
35:21And our
35:22Divine
35:22Chemistry
35:22Together
35:23Were about
35:24To make
35:24History
35:25By one day
35:26Becoming
35:26Australia's
35:26Most successful
35:27Radio show
35:28I would
35:28Spend the
35:29Next 24
35:30Years and
35:31Counting
35:31Of my
35:32Life
35:32With this
35:32Wonderful
35:33Man
35:33I think
35:34You can
35:34Stop
35:35Counting
35:35There
35:37This is
35:38Amazing
35:39What amazing
35:39Insights
35:40From the
35:41Gospel
35:41According to
35:42Jackie
35:43Jackie
35:44So if
35:47We go
35:48To 282
35:49She speaks
35:50About
35:50Well she
35:51Thanks her
35:52Former
35:52Employer
35:53ARN
35:54To my
35:55Bosses
35:55At ARN
35:56Thank you
35:57For allowing
35:57Us to make
35:58History
35:58Together
35:58For your
35:59Constant
35:59Belief
36:00In us
36:00And for
36:00Your
36:01Continual
36:01Loyalty
36:02And support
36:04In literature
36:05We call
36:05This
36:06Situational
36:06Irony
36:14Which we
36:15Can
36:15Also
36:15Demonstrate
36:16By the
36:16fact that
36:16Nell
36:16Trescina
36:17Is hosting
36:17A reading
36:17Segment
36:22So
36:23I really
36:24To be
36:25Fair
36:25I quite
36:25Liked
36:26The book
36:26I thought
36:26Jackie
36:26Was really
36:27Vulnerable
36:27She talks
36:28About
36:28Her
36:28Marriages
36:29Her
36:29Divorces
36:30And how
36:30She's
36:31Going
36:31To do
36:31The
36:31Expert
36:31Category
36:32On
36:32The
36:32Floor
36:32About
36:33Weddings
36:35But the
36:35Most outrageous
36:36Story
36:36That she
36:36Told
36:37Was actually
36:37This one
36:38In page
36:3916 of
36:39Your book
36:40Kids
36:40I was
36:43In year
36:43Two
36:43And desperately
36:44Wanted to
36:45Buy an
36:45Ice block
36:45From the
36:46Tuck shop
36:46I'd often
36:47Spend lunch
36:48Time inside
36:48The church
36:49And then
36:49One day
36:50I noticed
36:50A bunch
36:50Of 20
36:51Cent
36:51Coins
36:51In the
36:52Donation
36:52Box
36:52It was
36:53All too
36:53Easy
36:54To take
36:54One
36:54And buy
36:55Myself
36:56That
36:56Ice block
36:56That is
36:57Outrageous
36:5820 cents
36:59For an
36:59Ice block
37:01Insane
37:02The real
37:03Crime is
37:03Inflation
37:04Yes
37:05Damn right
37:06And that
37:07Was
37:07Hang on
37:08Hang on
37:09Are you happy
37:10With that couch
37:10In that
37:11In that setting
37:13Oh why
37:13Can you
37:14Change it up
37:15Don't say
37:16That's so
37:16Flirtily
37:18You're really
37:19Cranking
37:19My tractor
37:27Just
37:32Excuse me
37:33For a moment
37:37Oh no
37:41Oh my gosh
37:44Okay
37:44I think
37:46We'll have to
37:46Leave that
37:47Sigmund there
37:48Hang on
37:48Hang on
37:50Let's
37:50Toss the book
37:51Into the fire
37:51Yeah
37:52Oh my gosh
37:55That's
37:55Stout
37:56Rick
37:56An afternoon
37:57To
37:57Jame
37:58Thank you for
37:59A sec
37:59Mel Chesina
38:17We are so excited to welcome writer and comedian. He's a friend of both of ours. It's Mr. Josh Jack.
38:25Lovely to see you. Thank you so much for coming on.
38:27Welcome to the show, Josh. This is actually not your first time on TV.
38:32No, it was a while ago now. You probably don't recognise me. I was the little boy that fell into
38:36the gorilla enclosure.
38:39Yeah, Harambe.
38:41That's huge. It's amazing to see you all grown up.
38:45And not just that either, you also made the news for the way you handled a redundancy meeting.
38:51Yes, a little while ago I was made redundant, fired, whatever, semantics.
38:57But I was living in New Zealand at the time and over there they allow you to bring in a
39:01support person to the meeting.
39:02So they gave me, yeah, a little bit of a heads up and I thought I might be getting fired.
39:07So I thought who better to cheer me up than a professional.
39:10Yeah, well let's hear who you chose.
39:13New Zealand man got the last laugh while being fired thanks to his emotional support clown.
39:18Josh Thompson hired Joe the Clown for emotional support when he was being let go.
39:24That's incredible.
39:26Yeah.
39:27So good.
39:28Yeah.
39:29So good.
39:30You brought Joe the Clown to your redundancy meeting for real.
39:34Yeah, yeah.
39:34It was 200 bucks.
39:36Bargain.
39:37I will say first two minutes of the meeting, pretty funny.
39:41It is like a half an hour long meeting.
39:43And after that it's kind of just a man that none of us know sitting there making balloon animals while
39:49we're all trying to talk.
39:51Yeah, so you're getting fired.
39:52Meanwhile, Joe the Clown is...
39:53Oh, he's doing like crying, mime crying.
39:58And you don't realise how squeaky balloon animals are until you're in a pretty quiet room.
40:04This story was so huge in New Zealand.
40:07In fact, the New Zealand Herald did a write-up at the end of the year of the biggest heroes
40:11of the year.
40:13And there you are there.
40:14And there you are on the front page.
40:16Our heroes.
40:18I don't use the term hero lightly.
40:20Luckily, New Zealand Herald does.
40:22Who else is on that front cover?
40:23Yeah, nine other like actual people who did good things.
40:26There's like people who raise money for charity, like cancer researchers and stuff.
40:31And there's just me who was like pretty bad at my job.
40:36It's so great to have you on the show, Josh.
40:39You are a hero.
40:39You're not here to talk clowns.
40:40Yeah, you're a huge sport fan.
40:42You're going to take us to sport.
40:43Yeah, it's been a huge week in sport.
40:45But no story bigger than Kenyan runner Sebastian Sarway,
40:49who smashed the world record running a sub two-hour London marathon.
40:53Betting the previous record by over a minute,
40:56many are putting the time down to the shoes he wore.
40:57This is a photo of them.
40:59Wow.
40:59Yeah, they're the new Adidas Pro Evos 3.
41:02They weigh just under 100 grams each.
41:05Whoa, that's my goal weight.
41:06Oh, thank you.
41:09But even after the run,
41:10I would say Sarway's biggest achievement
41:12was getting through this interview with the BBC Sport.
41:15Would you go sit down now
41:16and have some fish and chips and a beer?
41:21No.
41:24He broke the record for the world's fastest interview.
41:27There we go.
41:27Well done.
41:28Beautiful.
41:28But of course it wasn't all about Sarway.
41:31Daddy Pig,
41:32you've been one of the stories of the London Marathon.
41:34Yes, reports were that Daddy Pig ran wee wee wee all the way home.
41:38Wow, that was amazing.
41:40This was a huge story, this London Marathon
41:42and this record-breaking run.
41:44Am I right in saying you've also run a marathon before, Josh?
41:47I have.
41:47Thanks for bringing it up.
41:48One time.
41:49Heroes.
41:50Marathon heroes.
41:53Yeah, a little bit slower than the two-hour mark.
41:57But it must have been worth it, though,
41:58because at the end of when you do a marathon,
41:59you get that big photo crossing the finish line.
42:01Yeah, you get the photo.
42:03I was looking forward to it.
42:04You know, it's the only thing you really have to show
42:06that you did do the marathon.
42:08So I finished it, had a few choccy milks,
42:10and then they sent me my big finishing photo.
42:12I think we've got it here.
42:13Right.
42:14Amazing photo.
42:15Yeah, that is mostly another man.
42:18Are you in this photo?
42:20Technically, I am in there.
42:21If you look...
42:24That's the photo they sent you of, you did it.
42:26Yeah, yeah.
42:27Technically, yeah, I'm in there,
42:29but I feel weird about having it in my house.
42:33But it wasn't just the London Marathon
42:35that ran over the weekend.
42:37Robots have outrun people
42:38at this year's Beijing Half Marathon.
42:41The Beijing Half Marathon.
42:43It was just incredible to see a white athlete move that far.
42:46Wow!
42:46That is incredible.
42:47That is incredible.
42:48It is incredible.
42:50But we've got to move on to the soccer.
42:52The A-League regular season has concluded
42:54with Newcastle Jets taking out Men's League
42:57and the Melbourne City taking out the Women's League.
42:59But for more on that,
43:00we cross live to Marty Sheargold.
43:02Sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
43:04I'm not going to do that.
43:06Well, the Newcastle Jets did secure the Premiership
43:09after drawing 2-2 with Melbourne Victory
43:11in a game that saw attendance skyrocket,
43:13though not in the way you'd expect.
43:16Picked the best defences in this competition this season.
43:21Look, a few seagulls.
43:23I'm sure it'll be fine.
43:24They'll fly away.
43:25It won't take away anything from the game.
43:26It's just crazy stuff.
43:29Look at the seagulls.
43:31They say it's good luck when a bird poos on you.
43:34Surely there's a limit.
43:36To the NRL now,
43:37where Broncos player Katoni Staggs
43:39managed to play through an injured plantar fascia.
43:42And if you don't know what that means, don't worry.
43:44We've got Jonathan Thurston to explain it
43:46in the medium of facial expression.
43:48Obviously, I snapped my plantar fascia last week
43:51and, you know, I had to get through it.
43:56I guess that translates to bad.
44:00But lastly, I want to talk about this.
44:02I don't know if you've heard the news,
44:03but I did an Ancestry DNA test
44:05and it's come back that I'm 1.5% Indian.
44:08OK, wow, 1.5%.
44:10Which they say is enough to get into
44:12the Indian Premier League cricket.
44:14OK, great.
44:14Not enough to do the accent.
44:18I have been watching the IPL.
44:21That is huge, yeah.
44:22And if you, like me, are looking to get into it
44:23and get to know the players,
44:25I recommend starting here.
44:26Got to be one of the greatest names
44:28in world cricket.
44:30Napoleon Einstein.
44:32Napoleon Einstein, wow.
44:34He's one of the best.
44:35He's no Genghis Bin Laden,
44:36but he's one of the best.
44:40And that's my week in sport.
44:41On that note, we've got to take a break.
44:42Would you please thank Josh Jarrell?
44:57Welcome back to the cheap seat.
44:59Sorry, we're...
44:59So the show's still on.
45:00We were tucking into our burrata.
45:02It's a great obstacle.
45:05You're up.
45:09Delicious.
45:11What else is making news?
45:13Retro gaming is having a bit of a comeback
45:15with more people picking up the controller
45:18as part of their digital disconnect.
45:20No better way to disconnect from digital
45:23than going digital.
45:24This was an interesting story
45:26on Channel 9 News Queensland,
45:28and it's inspired this week's edition of...
45:33Reporter of the Week.
45:35What's your best week goes to Channel 9's Ned Balm,
45:38one of the friends of the show,
45:40who had one of the greatest sign-offs we've seen.
45:43Recent studies have also shown
45:44that little hit of nostalgia
45:45can also benefit your mental health,
45:47almost like passing that Mario level
45:49or beating the boss in Street Fighter 2.
45:52Excuse me.
45:53Marouken!
45:57Unbelievable.
45:58Congratulations.
45:59He was reporting on inflation.
46:00It had nothing to do with...
46:03Congratulations, Ned.
46:04You are ours.
46:08The corner of the week.
46:10On that note, we are down a big thank you
46:12to Cheryl, Celia Pekoma, and Josh Jack.
46:15Absolutely.
46:16There we go.
46:17Excuse me.
46:19Marouken!
46:22Right here on the Chiefs game!
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