Gabriel Iglesias returns to the stage in this all-new comedy special where he performs in front of a packed house at the historic Plaza Theatre in El Paso, Texas. Go to the restroom before you watch this and be ready to watch it again and again. I'm Not Fat...I'm Fluffy will be a classic!!!
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#comedy #standupcomedy #standup #gabrieliglesias #gabrieliglesiascomedy #gabrieliglesiasstandup
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FunTranscript
00:00:13El Paso, Texas, give it up for Gabriel Iglesias!
00:00:49What's up, El Paso?
00:00:58Thank you guys very, very much!
00:01:01Oh my God!
00:01:03I got chills! Look at, look at, look at!
00:01:08Thank you very much!
00:01:10Thank you!
00:01:13I missed you too!
00:01:17Siéntate tío, siéntate!
00:01:20Oh my God!
00:01:22Somebody saw me running, correle gordo, correle, correle!
00:01:28Oh my God you guys, I know a lot of you are like, what took you so long to come
00:01:32back to El Paso?
00:01:35I don't have a good excuse, but I hope this makes up for it!
00:01:45Man, I have some history in this town!
00:01:48I've been coming here since July of 1997, yeah?
00:01:53Used to perform on the west side of town over at Bart Reed's comic strip.
00:01:59I was here on my 21st birthday, I'll never forget it!
00:02:04Never forget it!
00:02:07And that's the last time I drank in El Paso!
00:02:12You guys don't mess around!
00:02:13It was my birthday, I'm hanging out at the club, and they're like, it's your birthday!
00:02:17I'm like, it's my birthday!
00:02:18You wanna drink?
00:02:19Sure!
00:02:21So I started drinking, and drinking, and drinking, and then the staff was like,
00:02:25Do you wanna party?
00:02:26I was like, I wanna party!
00:02:29You wanna dance?
00:02:30I wanna dance!
00:02:31I passed out, and I woke up at some place called the OP!
00:02:46Now see, you guys are clapping and you're laughing because you know!
00:02:51I didn't know it was an alternative nightclub!
00:02:54I'm from LA, I thought OP stood for, orale pues!
00:03:00And that is a messed up way to sober up!
00:03:02You know, I'm at the club, I'm dancing, you know?
00:03:06Hey!
00:03:08Hey!
00:03:10Hey!
00:03:18There was a little guy behind me going, Pikachu!
00:03:24Yo también soy Pokémon!
00:03:26No!
00:03:27Oh!
00:03:28Uh-uh!
00:03:29But it was kinda crazy!
00:03:30I was getting checked out by guys!
00:03:32I was like, oh my God!
00:03:33And I know they were checking me out, cause they're looking at me like I look at tacos!
00:03:40But then I thought about it, oh my God!
00:03:43I just turned on a man!
00:03:45Shoot!
00:03:51Man, I called, I called my girlfriend, I said, you better not mess up, I have options!
00:03:58Uh-huh!
00:04:00I have a memory, a few years back, I was doing a show at the comic strip, and my idol,
00:04:06Mr. Paul Rodriguez, was in town doing a benefit!
00:04:12He calls up the comic strip and he says, he says, uh, hey, listen, I'm doing a benefit up the
00:04:17street, you know what's going on?
00:04:18I'm gonna come down there and I wanna do some shots, unos tequilas, unos tacos, I'm like, oh, let's do
00:04:22it!
00:04:22He shows up to the club and he says, alright, get in the car, let's go!
00:04:25I go, where are we going?
00:04:26We're going to Juarez!
00:04:28Juarez?
00:04:28Let's eat some tacos here!
00:04:30I can't afford you here!
00:04:32Let's go to the other side!
00:04:36So we wind up on the other side and we wind up killing some tacos and, you know, we wind
00:04:40up crossing the border.
00:04:41And when we crossed the border, it was a few months after I taped a bunch of water commercials here.
00:04:47You guys remember the water commercials?
00:04:49And then they pulled me off the advertising because they said I was too fat to sell water.
00:04:52Whatever!
00:04:54So we're crossing the border and immigration was right there and they're checking the cars and we're in a blue
00:04:58van.
00:04:59My buddy Jim, who's sitting over there, was driving.
00:05:01And, uh, border patrol comes over to the window and he goes, he opens the door and he sees me.
00:05:06He goes, oh my God!
00:05:07It's you!
00:05:08You're hysterical!
00:05:09And I go, what do you think of this guy?
00:05:10And Paul was like, hey, what's up?
00:05:12And the guy was like, oh my God!
00:05:13And so we wound up taking pictures at the border.
00:05:15And it was so funny because we're outside the car and we're pretending to be arrested, right?
00:05:19People are driving by going, let go Rodriguez and Pikachu go!
00:05:24They're American, puto!
00:05:25Let them go!
00:05:30It was priceless.
00:05:33We cross the border and Paul's like, hey, I wanna go hang out and have a good time.
00:05:37He went to this place off the tank called Jaguars.
00:05:43It's a male, you know, gentleman's club, whatever you want to call it.
00:05:47So we go in there and I'm like, oh my God!
00:05:49As soon as we walked in, I'm like, I'm thinking Paul's gonna be all, you know, shh, I don't want
00:05:52nobody to know I'm here.
00:05:53Goes over to the DJ and the DJ's like, alright ladies, look who just walked in, Paul Rodriguez!
00:06:00All of a sudden, there's like 32 lap dances that stop like that.
00:06:03And all these girls, they bum rush Paul and I'm like, wow!
00:06:07I gotta get funnier.
00:06:12So we're hanging out there for a couple of hours, we wind up outside in the parking lot.
00:06:15And this girl jumped into the car and she's like, oh my God, Paul Rodriguez, I love you!
00:06:19My mom is a huge fan too, here, please, please, please!
00:06:22And he, whatever, you want your guy, come here, come here.
00:06:24Here, please talk to her on the phone.
00:06:29He looks at me in the front seat and he goes, hey, tu Iglesias, here, be me.
00:06:35He put me on the phone with the girl's mom, I'm like, hey senora, how you doing?
00:06:39Yeah, you know, your daughter, she's a real angel, yeah.
00:06:43That's what they call her here.
00:06:50Yeah, man, I love Paul.
00:06:51Like I said, Paul's the, you know, one of the main reasons why I got into comedy.
00:06:54And he used to mess with me a lot, trust me.
00:06:56In my last special, I talked about how I had a Volkswagen Beetle.
00:07:00It was a true story, I really had a Beetle.
00:07:02And I got rid of it because I got tired of the fat jokes.
00:07:06When you're a fluffy guy and you have a little car
00:07:08and all of your friends are professional comedians,
00:07:10oh, they'll make you cry.
00:07:13Paul especially.
00:07:14How the hell did you manage to squeeze inside of that?
00:07:16No, hombre, I have never seen a car expand before when someone was inside of it.
00:07:20How do you get a stretch mark on the windshield?
00:07:22That's what I want to know.
00:07:24When you fart, does it go faster?
00:07:26One after another after another.
00:07:28I'm like, oh my God!
00:07:30And you know what it is?
00:07:31It's karma.
00:07:33Because ten years ago, I did a joke about Paul Rodriguez on TV.
00:07:37I used to be on a show on the Nickelodeon network called All That.
00:07:41Some of you remember, yeah?
00:07:43That was me, a lot smaller.
00:07:45I was only two X's, I was a dos X, yeah.
00:07:48Anyway, as soon as the TV show season was over, they gave all the cast members gifts.
00:07:53They gave this one girl TV, this one kid a DVD collection.
00:07:56Since I was the only one who had his own car, they gave me a car alarm with a remote
00:08:01start to it.
00:08:02A lot of cars have those now, but think back ten years ago.
00:08:05There was only a few that had the...
00:08:10My friends went, where'd you get that?
00:08:12I looked at them and I said, Nickelodeon!
00:08:15That's bad!
00:08:16I go to show it off to everybody.
00:08:18I showed my mom.
00:08:18I said, Mom, go to the car.
00:08:20I got to use the bathroom.
00:08:20I left you a present.
00:08:21Un present?
00:08:22Okay.
00:08:23So she goes to the car and I started the car from the kitchen.
00:08:25Choo-choo!
00:08:28El Diablo!
00:08:29El Diablo!
00:08:30El Diablo!
00:08:31El Diablo!
00:08:32I had to run outside.
00:08:34Mom is not the devil.
00:08:35Look at, look at, look at.
00:08:36Choo-choo!
00:08:37Choo-choo!
00:08:40Nickelodeon!
00:08:41Oh my God, mijo!
00:08:42Oh my God, you scared me.
00:08:44Me sacases un pedo, mijo!
00:08:45Oh my God, mira, smell, smell, smell.
00:08:47Smell, mijo, smell.
00:08:50I wind up doing a show in Hollywood at a comedy club and I'm working with my idol, with Paul
00:08:55Rodriguez.
00:08:55As soon as the show was over, we go, you know, we're walking out the door and he walks up
00:09:00to me and he says,
00:09:01You know, I like the whole fluffy thing you do.
00:09:04It's catchy.
00:09:05Sounds cute.
00:09:05Keep eating.
00:09:08We walk outside and my car is parked there first because I showed up late.
00:09:12So, you know, my car's right there and Paul walks by.
00:09:15All right, take it easy.
00:09:16He walks right in front of my car and my friend goes, Dude, show him your car.
00:09:21Show him Nickelodeon.
00:09:23And I couldn't help it, you know, freaking...
00:09:26Hey!
00:09:28What the hell?
00:09:29What is this?
00:09:31Oh!
00:09:33Nickelodeon!
00:09:34Hombre, cabron, bitchy, Fluffy, you gave me a heart attack.
00:09:37You take it easy.
00:09:39Valet brings his car around.
00:09:41A brand new Porsche 911.
00:09:42The car was nice.
00:09:44You know, he pulls up and...
00:09:46Valet gives him the keys.
00:09:48He turns around and looks at me.
00:09:49Hey!
00:09:50Dude, Fluffy!
00:09:52Check it out!
00:09:53I'm like, whatever.
00:09:54It's not Nickelodeon.
00:09:57The door pops open.
00:10:01Trunk.
00:10:02Trunk.
00:10:03I'm not through yet.
00:10:06Chuk-chuk!
00:10:15Chuk-chuk!
00:10:22H-B-O.
00:10:34A lot has changed, El Paso.
00:10:36A lot has changed.
00:10:37One thing's for sure, I'm still the fluffy guy.
00:10:46And I say fluffy because that is the politically correct term.
00:10:49For those of you that don't remember,
00:10:51I used to say that there were five levels of fatness.
00:10:56Reason why I say used to say is because now there are six.
00:11:00Uh-huh.
00:11:01I met the new one in Las Cruces.
00:11:04Uh-huh.
00:11:05The original five levels are big, healthy, husky, fluffy, and...
00:11:10Damn!
00:11:11People ask, what could be bigger than...
00:11:13Damn!
00:11:14The new level's called...
00:11:16Oh, hell no!
00:11:26What's the difference?
00:11:27You're still willing to work with level five.
00:11:30Example, if you're on an elevator and you're with your friend.
00:11:32And this really big guy gets on and you and your friend look at each other and you're like...
00:11:36Damn!
00:11:38But you still let the big guy ride your elevator.
00:11:41That's the difference.
00:11:43Level six, you see walking towards your elevator.
00:11:50Oh, hell no!
00:11:54No!
00:11:56No!
00:12:00That's the difference.
00:12:02The guy that I met was six foot eight, six hundred and fourteen pounds.
00:12:07Uh-huh.
00:12:08Oh, hell no!
00:12:09And he was offended at my show.
00:12:12Not by anything that I said, but because of the fact that now at the shows, I started selling T
00:12:16-shirts.
00:12:17And apparently, I didn't have his size.
00:12:22Keep in mind, I go all the way up to 5X on the T-shirts.
00:12:25And he was like, you don't have my size.
00:12:29I was like, dude, I didn't know they made you.
00:12:36I have up to 5X.
00:12:38I don't have...
00:12:39X.
00:12:40The picture of a dinosaur on the back of the tag, you know?
00:12:46No.
00:12:47And by the way, you guys, I want to let you know now, here in this theater and all over
00:12:52the world, wherever anybody's watching this special,
00:12:54if you ever see me in public, either at a restaurant or at a hotel or anywhere, and you want
00:13:03to stop me and say hello or take a picture or anything, please, I welcome it.
00:13:08And it's an honor if you were to do that.
00:13:10I do not mind at all.
00:13:14Stop me anytime you want.
00:13:18I'm the same person.
00:13:22The same guy.
00:13:30Seriously, the same guy you see now is the same guy you'd see outside.
00:13:33I don't change, you know?
00:13:34You're not going to walk up and go, Gabriel, can I talk to you?
00:13:36I'm not going to be like, be gone from me!
00:13:39Gabriel is my stage name.
00:13:41I'm not even Mexican, I'm Scandinavian.
00:13:44No, trust me, I'm the same pendejo.
00:13:46You'll see outside.
00:13:47I don't mind.
00:13:48I love it, you guys.
00:13:49Trust me.
00:13:50You guys make it possible for me to have an incredible life and take care of my family, so I'm
00:13:54all for it.
00:13:55Not a problem.
00:13:56Trust me, right now, it's so crazy, because I'm still adjusting to people walking up to me.
00:14:01I'm checking into the hotel, and they already knew me, which was crazy.
00:14:05I go like, oh, hi, I'm checking in.
00:14:06Here's your key, sir.
00:14:09We know it's you, sir.
00:14:16I think that's awesome.
00:14:17I needed that like six years ago.
00:14:20One time I was trying to check into a hotel in Chicago at one o'clock in the morning, because
00:14:25I missed my flight.
00:14:26Nobody's at the front desk, just a little bell and a sign that said ring for service.
00:14:32So there I am.
00:14:46All of a sudden I heard this.
00:14:48I hear the bell
00:14:54All of a sudden this lady came out
00:15:01Are you the one ringing that damn bell
00:15:05What the hell you want
00:15:07I'm checking in
00:15:08You know what time it is
00:15:10It's tomorrow
00:15:12Oh no I missed my flight
00:15:14Whatever you say
00:15:17What's going on out there
00:15:18Girl you gotta see this
00:15:19I got a big ass Mexican showing up late as hell
00:15:25Okay
00:15:28What's your name
00:15:29My name is Gabriel Iglesias
00:15:32Iglesias
00:15:33Yes Iglesias
00:15:34Okay Iglesias
00:15:37No no no
00:15:38It's Iglesias with an I
00:15:40With an I
00:15:41But you said Iglesias
00:15:44You didn't say Iglesias
00:15:46You said Iglesias
00:15:48It's Iglesias with an I
00:15:49Whatever you say
00:15:51It's your damn name
00:15:52Okay
00:15:53Mr. Iglesias with an I
00:15:56You know that's bad for you
00:15:58Oh this right here
00:15:59My grandmama lived to be 100 years old
00:16:01Smoking
00:16:01Mine and her own damn business
00:16:03Okay
00:16:04Mr. Iglesias with an I
00:16:07Okay I found you in the system
00:16:09I got you for two nights
00:16:10Full size bed
00:16:11Nonsmoking
00:16:12I requested a queen size bed
00:16:14And you would have got a queen
00:16:15If you'd have been here yesterday
00:16:17But it's tomorrow
00:16:18And you're lucky
00:16:19I'm talking to you
00:16:21Mr. Iglesias
00:16:22What an I
00:16:23What's the I stand for
00:16:24I need a bigger bed
00:16:28What's going on out there
00:16:29Girl you gotta see this
00:16:31Nacho Libre is tripping
00:16:36Whatever
00:16:38Give me a hard time
00:16:40A lot has changed though man
00:16:42For those of you that don't know
00:16:43By now
00:16:43I finally became a dad
00:16:48Thank you
00:16:50Hell yeah
00:16:51He's 10
00:16:54Surprise me too
00:16:56Yeah they found me
00:16:58And it's not what you think
00:16:59I didn't discover that I had a lost child
00:17:01It's just that I hooked up
00:17:02With a beautiful woman
00:17:03Who had a pre-started family
00:17:06So basically I became a stepfather
00:17:08You know I just took over the payments
00:17:10Best part for me
00:17:11Is that my new son
00:17:12Looks exactly like me
00:17:15He's fluffy too
00:17:1710 years old
00:17:19162 pounds
00:17:21Yeah he's a little
00:17:22Damn
00:17:24And he's the cutest kid
00:17:25You talk to him
00:17:26His name is Frankie
00:17:26He's like Frankie
00:17:27What do you like to do?
00:17:28I like microwave burritos
00:17:30And playstation
00:17:32Me too
00:17:34Only problem is he wakes up early
00:17:365 o'clock every morning
00:17:39Gabriel
00:17:40What?
00:17:42I'm hungry
00:17:43Me too
00:17:44Make something
00:17:46And he does
00:17:48I can hear him in the kitchen
00:17:49Making hot pockets
00:17:50You know freaking
00:17:56And he opens the door
00:17:57And doesn't close it
00:17:58And the whole house
00:17:59Freaking
00:18:03Hot pocket
00:18:04Delicious
00:18:09Oh my god
00:18:10And he's so cute
00:18:11Because right now
00:18:12He's going through puberty
00:18:13And I think it's hysterical
00:18:14His mom doesn't think so
00:18:16She's like
00:18:16No
00:18:17I go yeah
00:18:18I caught him checking out a girl
00:18:19How do you know?
00:18:20I was looking at her too
00:18:23She was hot
00:18:25And I told my girl
00:18:26I said baby don't worry
00:18:27If he has any questions
00:18:28I'll be the man
00:18:29I'll take care of it
00:18:30Because I went through puberty at 10
00:18:32And she's like
00:18:33Oh thank you
00:18:34I said don't worry
00:18:35I took care of it
00:18:35You know
00:18:36Hey
00:18:36I went through puberty at 10
00:18:37I understand
00:18:39Plus I had cable
00:18:40So it was hardcore
00:18:41You know
00:18:43You know
00:18:43What's the difference now?
00:18:44Is that now
00:18:45You can program channels
00:18:46Not to work
00:18:47You couldn't do that
00:18:4820 years ago
00:18:49You couldn't block a kid
00:18:50Unless you stayed up
00:18:51My mom knocked out at 10
00:18:53And right around 11.45
00:18:54The following program
00:18:56Has not been rated
00:18:57By the Motion Picture Association
00:18:59Of America
00:19:00Due to its graphic
00:19:01Sexual content
00:19:02Viewer discretion
00:19:04Is advised
00:19:09I was 10 years old
00:19:11I lost my mind
00:19:12I'm sitting on that couch
00:19:13All of a sudden
00:19:23Are you ready?
00:19:27Uh-huh
00:19:28Oh yeah
00:19:30Yeah
00:19:31Oh yeah
00:19:33Yeah
00:19:33Are you ready?
00:19:35I'm done
00:19:46And you know
00:19:47What's crazy
00:19:48Is I know
00:19:49What's happening
00:19:49At my house now
00:19:50Because one night
00:19:51I heard
00:19:51Yeah
00:19:57What's he doing?
00:19:58Becoming a man
00:20:00And I was curious
00:20:01I'm like
00:20:01I wonder what he's watching
00:20:02So I started flipping
00:20:03Through my channels
00:20:04Trying to find something
00:20:05That would spark interest
00:20:07Sure enough
00:20:08He's watching Cinemax
00:20:10Uh-huh
00:20:10And I know
00:20:11That's what he's watching
00:20:12That guy's clapping
00:20:12Hell yeah
00:20:14Cachino
00:20:14Yeah I know
00:20:16I know that's what he's watching
00:20:17Because out of my TV
00:20:19I'm getting direct sound
00:20:20And then I'm getting
00:20:21Like a little delayed echo
00:20:22Down the hall
00:20:24You know
00:20:24So it's like
00:20:25Uh-huh
00:20:26Uh-huh
00:20:27Yeah
00:20:28Yeah
00:20:30Uh-huh
00:20:31Uh-huh
00:20:33Yeah
00:20:33Yeah
00:20:43I saw him the next morning
00:20:45I said
00:20:45What were you doing last night?
00:20:46I was playing Nintendo
00:20:47Yeah
00:20:48Whatever
00:20:48You're playing
00:20:49Whee
00:20:53And now he's like
00:20:54Uh-huh
00:20:56Whatever
00:20:56Anyway
00:20:57I know I'm sweating up here
00:20:58The whole front row
00:20:59You guys are like
00:20:59It smells like carnitas
00:21:02He smells delicious
00:21:05Delicious
00:21:06Oh
00:21:06Big guys
00:21:07I don't know what it is
00:21:08When we get hot
00:21:08We smell like food
00:21:10We should have our own cologne
00:21:11Huh
00:21:12From the makers of
00:21:13Dres leches
00:21:16What's that smell?
00:21:17Taco
00:21:19I'm a dork
00:21:20I know
00:21:21People ask me about the voices
00:21:23All the time
00:21:23They're like
00:21:24Do you do that
00:21:24Just on stage
00:21:25Or do you do that
00:21:26In public too?
00:21:27Like no
00:21:27Of course I do the voices
00:21:28In public
00:21:29I have to make myself laugh
00:21:31You know
00:21:32I like doing the voices
00:21:33In places
00:21:33Where people can't see me
00:21:35Like drive-thrus
00:21:38Oh I'm evil
00:21:39At a drive-thru man
00:21:40Except the one by my house
00:21:41Cause they know me
00:21:43I mean
00:21:43They really know me
00:21:44I could show up
00:21:45At two in the morning
00:21:45Or two in the afternoon
00:21:46You know
00:21:48Welcome to McDonald's
00:21:48I'm gonna help you
00:21:49Yeah
00:21:50Let me have
00:21:51Pull up
00:21:56I did an order
00:21:57Gabriel
00:21:58Pull up
00:22:06Whatever
00:22:07Other places I've had fun
00:22:09IHOP
00:22:11Some of you
00:22:11IHOP?
00:22:12Yeah let me explain this one
00:22:13Next time you go to an IHOP
00:22:15Look for the podium
00:22:16Usually on the weekends
00:22:17They'll have the podium set up
00:22:17Right at the front door
00:22:18And when you walk in
00:22:19They'll have a host
00:22:20And they'll ask you
00:22:21How many in your party?
00:22:23And you tell them
00:22:23Two, three, four
00:22:24Whatever the case
00:22:25And then when it's time
00:22:26For your seats
00:22:27They'll call you
00:22:27With the little freaking
00:22:28You know
00:22:28They got the microphone
00:22:29On the side of the wall
00:22:30And they'll go
00:22:30Paging party of four
00:22:32Paging party of four
00:22:33Now serving
00:22:34When that party walked away
00:22:37I grabbed her microphone
00:22:37And I said
00:22:38Paging Mexican party of 47
00:22:40Mexican party of 47
00:22:43Now serving
00:22:44And the whole restaurant was like
00:22:49All the guys in the kitchen
00:22:51Orale way
00:22:54Hell yeah
00:22:56I love IHOP
00:22:57I go too much you guys
00:22:58I was at an IHOP one time
00:22:59During an earthquake
00:23:02Wasn't a big one
00:23:02It was enough to feel it
00:23:03But not freak out
00:23:04You know
00:23:04I live in California
00:23:05So we get them a lot
00:23:07But if you're not used to that
00:23:08You're like
00:23:08Ah!
00:23:08Earthquake!
00:23:09You know
00:23:09And I'm sitting there
00:23:10I just rode it out
00:23:11You know
00:23:33Freaking earthquakes man
00:23:34You gotta choose which one you want
00:23:35You know
00:23:36Earthquakes
00:23:37Tornadoes
00:23:37Hurricanes
00:23:38Fires
00:23:38Floods
00:23:39I live in California
00:23:40I'll take the earthquakes
00:23:41You can sleep through them
00:23:43You know
00:23:44And then whenever they happen
00:23:45You never believe it's an earthquake
00:23:46You're like
00:23:46Is it an earthquake
00:23:46Or a big truck?
00:23:48No seriously
00:23:49You'll be like
00:23:49Oh my god
00:23:54Oh my god
00:23:56Smell, smell, smell
00:24:03Smell
00:24:04But seriously
00:24:04You can go to work
00:24:05And people are talking about
00:24:06How they were sleeping
00:24:07You know
00:24:07Did you feel that tremor last night?
00:24:10You can't sleep through a tornado
00:24:11Or a hurricane
00:24:12And I said that down south
00:24:14And people were like
00:24:15Yeah you can
00:24:15I said
00:24:16Not if it hits your house
00:24:18I've never seen that interview
00:24:19You know
00:24:20Sir
00:24:20What happened to your home?
00:24:23I don't know
00:24:23I don't know what happened
00:24:24See
00:24:24I woke up this morning
00:24:26And this son of a bitch
00:24:27Was flipped over
00:24:29That's the darnest thing
00:24:30You know
00:24:30I got a truck in the tree
00:24:31My dog is down the street
00:24:33I can't find my wife
00:24:34But that's for a whole other reason
00:24:35All together
00:24:37I was asleep
00:24:37Sir
00:24:38You were asleep?
00:24:39Damn right I was asleep
00:24:40I got me one of them
00:24:41Tempur-Pedics over there
00:24:42Get her done
00:24:43That's what I'm saying
00:24:44Right there
00:24:53I love that impression
00:24:54You guys
00:24:55I love doing that
00:24:56Every time I do it
00:24:56Somebody's like
00:24:57Hey that's the redneck cable guy
00:25:00Mexicans
00:25:00Be careful
00:25:01Cause we have rednecks too
00:25:04We do
00:25:05And they sound exactly
00:25:07Like the white ones
00:25:08You guys real quiet huh
00:25:09You don't believe me?
00:25:10Watch this
00:25:11White redneck
00:25:12I tell you what
00:25:14Mexican redneck
00:25:15Uh huh
00:25:27White redneck
00:25:30Mexican redneck
00:25:32We put words and moves to that
00:25:44Same guy
00:25:46So be careful man
00:25:51I had to take it easy with the voices
00:25:52Once I got one of my girlfriend
00:25:54She used to think it was cute
00:25:55But then you know
00:25:56I scared her
00:25:58One night we're in the room
00:25:59And she's like
00:26:01What are you gonna do to me?
00:26:02And I was like
00:26:03You're gonna get it
00:26:07Stop doing that
00:26:11We used to role play
00:26:12We used to play White House
00:26:14Oh that was so much fun
00:26:15Back in the day
00:26:16I'd wake her up at 3 in the morning
00:26:18She's like
00:26:18Who is it?
00:26:19I was like
00:26:20You know who it is
00:26:29Ay senor
00:26:30I don't speak English
00:26:32Hell yeah
00:26:35That's about as political as I get now you guys
00:26:37Things change
00:26:38People ask me
00:26:39Do you get political?
00:26:39I'm like
00:26:40No not really
00:26:40You know
00:26:41What's your take on Barack?
00:26:42I'm like
00:26:42Well he's
00:26:43You know
00:26:43He's a lot smarter than the last one
00:26:44That's for sure
00:26:46I love his ass man
00:26:52Some people didn't want Barack in office
00:26:54Only because he was black
00:26:56And I'm like
00:26:57How retarded
00:26:57Come on you guys
00:26:58You know
00:26:58He's Barack
00:26:59He's not Snoop Dogg
00:27:02You know
00:27:02It's not like he's gonna come out
00:27:03Ladies and gentlemen
00:27:04The President of the United States
00:27:13Here we go again
00:27:17Mr. President
00:27:19Mr. President
00:27:19Yeah
00:27:22No
00:27:24Anyways that's as far as I'll go with
00:27:26He said he wasn't gonna get it political
00:27:28Yeah I know
00:27:29Gotta change it up you guys
00:27:31A lot of things are changing
00:27:33A lot
00:27:33Got the relationship now
00:27:35It's going good
00:27:36I love my girlfriend
00:27:37She's here in the house tonight too
00:27:40She's awesome
00:27:44We rarely fight
00:27:46And I think that's so freaking cool
00:27:48And I know why
00:27:48It's because I do this for a living
00:27:51Uh huh
00:27:52And she knows
00:27:53Whatever we argue about
00:27:54Will eventually end up right here
00:27:57It slows her down
00:27:58You ought to see her
00:27:59You know what I think
00:28:00Go ahead
00:28:00Say it
00:28:01Say it
00:28:07The only problem I have with my girls sometimes
00:28:10Are her friends
00:28:11I don't like her friends
00:28:12Because they're haters
00:28:14They are
00:28:14Look at that guy's clapping
00:28:15Yeah I know man
00:28:17It sucks
00:28:17Every time I leave the house
00:28:18And I go out of town for the weekend
00:28:20They show up
00:28:20And they start throwing little monkey wrenches in there
00:28:22You know
00:28:23So
00:28:24He's not here
00:28:25Where is he
00:28:26How come you're not with him
00:28:27What's the story
00:28:28What's the deal
00:28:29How long have you been together now
00:28:30You're not engaged
00:28:30You're not married
00:28:31What's up
00:28:32Is he going to adopt Frankie
00:28:33What's the word
00:28:33What's going on
00:28:34How come you don't have a ring
00:28:35Norma has a ring
00:28:35And she's a puta
00:28:36How come you don't have a ring
00:28:44So
00:28:45I'll get these messed up phone calls
00:28:47At like 2 in the morning
00:28:47When I'm on the road
00:28:48Right
00:28:50Hello
00:28:52Baby
00:28:53Yeah
00:28:53Are you okay
00:28:55What are you doing
00:28:56Nothing
00:28:57I'm just here at the house
00:28:59Watching cheaters
00:29:03Greed
00:29:04Oh wow
00:29:05Did you see that
00:29:06Almost fell
00:29:08If I fall now
00:29:09Show's over
00:29:12Yeah
00:29:13There'll be people outside
00:29:14We're standing here live
00:29:15In front of the Plaza Theater
00:29:16Where authorities believe
00:29:17Fluffy lost control
00:29:19Seven people were reported injured
00:29:21Three were rushed to the hospital
00:29:22Authorities had this to say
00:29:23Damn
00:29:38Thank you
00:29:39I'll be interviewing people
00:29:40Ma'am what happened
00:29:41It got dark
00:29:42Sir what did you see
00:29:46Stekayo Pikachu
00:29:47He fell
00:29:50But no anyways
00:29:51Let me finish
00:29:51And tell you what happened
00:29:53So my girl
00:29:54Started tripping out
00:29:55And I started getting
00:29:56These weird phone calls
00:29:57Finally I got tired of it
00:29:58I said you know what
00:29:59I don't need this
00:29:59You know
00:30:00I don't need it
00:30:00From now on
00:30:01When I take off on the road
00:30:03No more phone calls
00:30:04Look at that guy
00:30:05Yeah
00:30:06Are you here by yourself
00:30:11Whatever dude
00:30:13Anyway
00:30:15Here's the thing
00:30:16I took my girl
00:30:16To the Apple store
00:30:17And I got her an iPhone
00:30:18I got myself one
00:30:19And I said from now on
00:30:20We're texting each other
00:30:22And believe it or not
00:30:23She was cool with that
00:30:24Because anytime
00:30:25She would send me a text
00:30:26I would reply
00:30:27Like that
00:30:28I could be anywhere
00:30:29Freaking in the bathroom
00:30:31Freaking
00:30:32What are you doing
00:30:36I'm blowing it up
00:30:39I love you
00:30:40And she'd reply
00:30:41Oh my god
00:30:41Me too
00:30:42I love you
00:30:44It sounds so stupid
00:30:45But it was working out perfectly
00:30:47Until one night
00:30:47I got drunk
00:30:50Oh
00:30:50You want to hear this
00:30:52You want to hear this
00:30:54So check this out
00:30:56I'm leaving a comedy club
00:30:57In San Jose, California
00:30:59And I'm walking back
00:31:00To my hotel room
00:31:01Which is one block away
00:31:02As I'm walking
00:31:04I pass in front of this bar
00:31:05On the corner
00:31:06Called Cine Bar
00:31:07It's got all kinds of cinema
00:31:09And movie memorabilia
00:31:10In there
00:31:10Looks cool
00:31:10I'm walking in front
00:31:12And there are people
00:31:13In that bar
00:31:13That just left my show
00:31:15So I walk in front
00:31:16And I heard
00:31:16Fluffy
00:31:18Hey let me buy you a shot
00:31:20I was like
00:31:21Well you know
00:31:21I don't want to be rude
00:31:24Can't have that
00:31:25Right
00:31:26So I walked in
00:31:27I said
00:31:27What's it
00:31:27You know
00:31:28I'm on my way back
00:31:28To my room
00:31:29I'll just do a couple shots
00:31:29Whatever
00:31:30So you know
00:31:30One shot
00:31:30And then somebody
00:31:31Me too
00:31:31Alright me too
00:31:32Vamanos
00:31:33Let's do it
00:31:34Me three
00:31:34Me four
00:31:36Fifteen shots of tequila
00:31:38Later
00:31:42It occurs to me
00:31:44I think I should go
00:31:46I start walking
00:31:48Towards the door
00:31:48I took three steps
00:31:50The cold air hit me
00:31:51I got dizzy
00:31:52And I fell
00:31:53Hard
00:31:54I know I fell hard
00:31:55Cause when I hit the ground
00:31:56I farted
00:31:59Oh my god
00:32:01I farted
00:32:02My buddy
00:32:03Martin ran over
00:32:04And he helped me up
00:32:04Off the ground
00:32:05You okay
00:32:07We stumble back
00:32:08To the hotel room
00:32:09I sit down
00:32:10In the lobby
00:32:10And I'm just like
00:32:12Are you okay
00:32:13Gabriel
00:32:13I'm okay man
00:32:14Where's my phone
00:32:15I gotta let my girl
00:32:16Know I'm okay
00:32:17You're holding it
00:32:18Oh thank you
00:32:19Martin
00:32:19I love you
00:32:20I love you
00:32:21You're a good friend
00:32:21Man
00:32:22You're a good friend
00:32:23He goes
00:32:24What are you doing
00:32:24I'm gonna text
00:32:25Dude just call her
00:32:26No
00:32:26If I call her
00:32:28She's gonna know
00:32:29Something's up
00:32:29I'm gonna text her
00:32:31Watch
00:32:31Baby
00:32:32I made it back
00:32:34To the hotel
00:32:35I love you
00:32:38Kissy face
00:32:40Send
00:32:41Cling
00:32:42How did it go
00:32:45I farted
00:32:47I shouldn't tell her
00:32:49That huh Martin
00:32:49Okay
00:32:50It went good
00:32:51Send
00:32:52Cling
00:32:53What did you do
00:32:55After your show
00:32:58Oh
00:32:58Here we go
00:33:00My buddy Martin
00:33:01Is like
00:33:02Gabriel man
00:33:02Gabriel
00:33:03Don't tell her
00:33:03Don't tell her
00:33:04You're at a bar
00:33:04Getting drunk man
00:33:05Don't tell her
00:33:06Martin
00:33:06I have to tell her
00:33:08The truth bro
00:33:09We're cool like that man
00:33:11I can talk to her
00:33:12I can
00:33:13I can tell her
00:33:14Anything man
00:33:15She's not like
00:33:15Your old lady
00:33:16You know
00:33:18Tripping all the time
00:33:19Hey Martin
00:33:20Take the pictures
00:33:21Of the cochina
00:33:22Off the internet
00:33:23Whatever
00:33:24Oh I'm sorry
00:33:25Did I say that out loud
00:33:25Forgive me bro
00:33:27Gabriel lie
00:33:28I can't lie man
00:33:29Lie
00:33:29I can't lie
00:33:31Are you that honest
00:33:32No
00:33:32I just won't remember
00:33:33The lie
00:33:35I get in trouble
00:33:36Two times
00:33:36For the same stupid thing
00:33:37You know what I'm saying bro
00:33:38So I sent the message
00:33:40Baby
00:33:40I made it
00:33:44Delete
00:33:44Delete
00:33:45Delete
00:33:46Baby
00:33:47I went next door
00:33:49With Martin
00:33:50To cine
00:33:52Bar
00:33:53Had a nice time
00:33:55Kissy face
00:33:57Kissy face
00:33:58Kissy face
00:34:00Sent
00:34:02Cling
00:34:03Lucky you
00:34:04Wish I could have been there with you
00:34:07Tell Martin
00:34:08I said hi
00:34:09I love you
00:34:10Oh my god
00:34:13Martin
00:34:14I just told my girlfriend
00:34:16I was at a bar with you
00:34:17And she didn't get mad
00:34:21What the hell is she doing
00:34:34Man she told me to tell you hi
00:34:36And she don't even like you
00:34:40So I scrolled back to read what she read
00:34:42And apparently my stupid iPhone
00:34:44Has this memory spell check feature
00:34:45And it didn't recognize the word
00:34:47Cine
00:34:48Bar
00:34:48It flipped it and turned it into Cinnabon
00:34:52So apparently at 10 o'clock at night
00:34:55My girlfriend thought I was having cinnamon rolls
00:34:57With my friend Martin
00:34:59Which normally would sound like an ugly lie
00:35:01But considering her boyfriend is known as the fluffy guy
00:35:04Who loves chocolate cake
00:35:05It sounds real
00:35:07I was like oh my god
00:35:09Martin check it out
00:35:10My iPhone lied for me
00:35:20Blackberry can't do that
00:35:24A month later my girlfriend heard me tell the story
00:35:27And she's like that's a funny joke
00:35:28I go it really happened
00:35:29How come you didn't tell me
00:35:31I said the phone didn't let me
00:35:34And her friends are right there
00:35:35See he's out there getting wasted
00:35:37Send me you messed up taxes
00:35:38Whatever shut up haters
00:35:40Like
00:35:42Yeah a lot of things are going on
00:35:45In the house here tonight you guys
00:35:46I'm very happy she was able to make it
00:35:48A lot has been going on
00:35:48My mom once again here at my special
00:35:51Is in here
00:35:54Where you at ma?
00:35:56I know you're out here
00:35:57Oh there she is
00:36:06She almost didn't make it here tonight you guys
00:36:09Almost
00:36:09A month ago my mom got admitted to the hospital
00:36:13She got a little sick
00:36:14Somebody forgot to take their medication
00:36:16Uh huh
00:36:17I don't need it
00:36:20Yeah uh huh
00:36:20Remember that
00:36:21Remember that right
00:36:21Anyway ma
00:36:22Sorry I have to throw it at her
00:36:23So she makes sure she takes her medicine
00:36:25Gotta give my little shout outs right now
00:36:26Right here in the front row you guys
00:36:27If anybody saw my last DVD
00:36:28In the bonus features
00:36:30This gentleman right here
00:36:32Freddie Franco
00:36:32Fred Franco
00:36:33Has attended over 250
00:36:36Of my shows
00:36:38Over 250 of my shows
00:36:41In about
00:36:42Five or six different states
00:36:46At first my girlfriend was like
00:36:47Psycho
00:36:50But he's not
00:36:50He's cool
00:36:51We've hung out with him
00:36:52He's one of the greatest fans ever
00:36:53And so I have to give him his props
00:36:55You know
00:36:56He took some time off of work
00:36:57To come out here
00:36:59So thank you Freddie
00:37:01Man
00:37:03You're diehard
00:37:04Please don't ever turn psycho
00:37:05Please
00:37:06Because I have some cycles out there
00:37:07They'll show up
00:37:08And they'll hang out by the car
00:37:08Gabriel
00:37:14It's funny because
00:37:15This is my third special
00:37:17In the last special that I did
00:37:18I did a bunch of references
00:37:20To police officers
00:37:22And
00:37:23They weren't exactly
00:37:24Flattering references
00:37:25Or jokes
00:37:26You know
00:37:26I was just kind of like saying
00:37:27You know
00:37:27The whole donut thing
00:37:31Apparently
00:37:31Apparently
00:37:32They became fans
00:37:34In some weird way
00:37:35Because I started getting phone calls
00:37:36To do police functions
00:37:38In December
00:37:39I had five Christmas parties
00:37:41I got a phone call from my agent
00:37:42And he's like
00:37:42Gabe check it out
00:37:45CHP
00:37:45California Highway Patrol
00:37:46Wants to hire you
00:37:47To do a show
00:37:48I go really
00:37:48What does it pay?
00:37:49They want you to donate your time
00:37:51I think I'm busy
00:37:54They told me to let you know
00:37:56You have a warrant
00:37:57In the city of Fresno
00:37:58California
00:37:59I'm like
00:38:00Oh
00:38:00They're good
00:38:03So I did the show
00:38:04And I'm going to tell you guys
00:38:05Right now
00:38:06I'm going to tell you guys
00:38:07Right now
00:38:07It was one of the scariest shows
00:38:08I ever did
00:38:10A room full of nothing but cops
00:38:13Everybody's drinking
00:38:13A lot
00:38:14And I'm scared
00:38:15Because if they get ghetto
00:38:16Who do I call?
00:38:19You know
00:38:20I got to go out in the parking lot
00:38:21And find some gang member
00:38:22Hey back me up
00:38:25So the show went good
00:38:27It went so good
00:38:27That they asked me to do
00:38:28Another show
00:38:29In California
00:38:30In San Diego
00:38:31For the California Highway Patrol
00:38:33Border Division
00:38:33And I tried to make up an excuse
00:38:35That my car wasn't working right
00:38:36They said
00:38:37No worries
00:38:38We understand
00:38:39They sent a patrol car
00:38:41To my house
00:38:43With a freaking
00:38:43Uniformed officer
00:38:45And I was like
00:38:45Oh my god
00:38:47Best part was
00:38:48I didn't tell my family
00:38:50He was coming
00:38:52Oh yeah
00:38:53Sometimes you have to
00:38:54Create your own entertainment
00:38:56It was hysterical
00:38:57Five o'clock rolled around
00:38:58I'm like
00:38:59He should be here any minute
00:38:59Sure enough
00:39:02Frankie
00:39:04Frankie
00:39:04Can you get the door please?
00:39:05Okay Gabriel
00:39:06So he goes to the door
00:39:07Comes back
00:39:07And he's got like
00:39:08You know
00:39:08He's like
00:39:09Gabriel
00:39:11Gabriel
00:39:12The police are here
00:39:13Why are you whispering?
00:39:15Because something's gonna happen
00:39:18When he said that
00:39:19I'm like
00:39:19Oh I got a freaking
00:39:20Let him have it now
00:39:21Right
00:39:21I said
00:39:22Oh my god Frankie
00:39:23They found me
00:39:25What do you mean Gabriel?
00:39:26I gotta go Frankie
00:39:27I gotta go
00:39:28Take care of your mom for me
00:39:29Okay I love you
00:39:30I love you
00:39:31No
00:39:32I gotta go Frankie
00:39:34And I saw the officer
00:39:35I said
00:39:35Pretend you're arresting me
00:39:36I want to freak out my kid
00:39:37No problem
00:39:38Turn around
00:39:38And put your hands
00:39:39Behind your back
00:39:40I can't reach
00:39:43Just hold my hand
00:39:44Walk me to the car
00:39:44Just walk me to the car
00:39:45Come on
00:39:46Just walk me to the car
00:39:47He doesn't know the difference
00:39:48Dude
00:39:48Just walk me to the freaking car
00:39:49Come on
00:39:51I get to the cop car
00:39:52He throws me in the back seat
00:39:53Right
00:39:53And slams the door
00:39:55And I ask him
00:39:56Is it okay if I yell out the window
00:39:57To freak out my kid?
00:39:58You want to use the microphone?
00:39:59Yeah!
00:40:01Freaking
00:40:02Here you go sir
00:40:03And he hands me the microphone
00:40:04And I said
00:40:05Frankie this is the police
00:40:06We have your father
00:40:08We're coming back for you
00:40:09In one hour
00:40:11Do your homework
00:40:15One minute later
00:40:16My girlfriend calls me
00:40:17You're an ass
00:40:19What's he doing?
00:40:20He's doing his homework
00:40:23That's called parenting baby
00:40:37He got even with me though
00:40:39He totally got even with me
00:40:41I walked in the kitchen one morning
00:40:44He's sitting there
00:40:45And he looks at me
00:40:45And he goes
00:40:46Gabriel
00:40:46I have a question for you
00:40:48What's a hooker?
00:40:51What did you say?
00:40:52What's a hooker?
00:40:53Where did you hear that?
00:40:54I was watching HBO
00:40:56And there was a commercial
00:40:57For a show called
00:40:57Hookers at the Point
00:40:58It said this Saturday
00:41:00At 1130
00:41:00Check out all the hookers
00:41:03What's that mean?
00:41:04Oh that means
00:41:04We're going out Saturday
00:41:06What's a hooker?
00:41:07Let it go dude
00:41:08Tell me
00:41:09You don't need to know
00:41:09Tell me
00:41:10Frankie that's for adults
00:41:11You said it was an adult
00:41:12I said you eat like an adult
00:41:15And what you do in the bathroom
00:41:16You are grown up
00:41:17Trust me
00:41:17But you don't need to know
00:41:18What a hooker is
00:41:19He throws a fit in the kitchen
00:41:21Hooker
00:41:22Hooker
00:41:23Hooker
00:41:24Hooker
00:41:24What are you doing?
00:41:25Hooker
00:41:26He won't stop
00:41:26I don't know what to do
00:41:27So I snapped
00:41:28Quit it
00:41:29And he stopped
00:41:31And apparently his mom heard that
00:41:34And as soon as I yelled
00:41:35Oh my god
00:41:37He went from being my son
00:41:40To my girlfriend's little cub
00:41:42Once again
00:41:43And here she comes
00:41:44From the other side of the house
00:41:46Mama lying to protect her little
00:41:47You know
00:41:48Hi
00:41:49You're failing
00:41:50Mama
00:41:51Mama
00:41:58I can see her coming
00:42:02Why are you yelling at my baby?
00:42:04Oh my god
00:42:05He wants to know what a hooker is
00:42:06And that's why you're yelling?
00:42:08Tears, right?
00:42:09You said if he had any questions
00:42:10He could come to you
00:42:12I didn't know he was gonna ask me that
00:42:14You said don't worry baby
00:42:16I'm the man
00:42:17I'll take care of it
00:42:21Tell him
00:42:22Are you serious?
00:42:23Tell him now
00:42:28Frankie, you wanna know what a hooker is?
00:42:30Yeah
00:42:31Those are your mom's friends
00:42:46They don't like me anyway
00:42:48At least now when they come over the house
00:42:50Frankie, who's at the door?
00:42:51Hooker's here
00:42:54My buddies are like
00:42:55What did he say?
00:42:56Happy birthday
00:42:59Oh my god
00:43:03Notice that we got a soldier in the front row, man
00:43:04How you doing, bro?
00:43:06U.S. Army
00:43:09Thanks for coming, man
00:43:11What's your name?
00:43:14I can see, yeah
00:43:15I can read the last name
00:43:15Fuentes
00:43:16But what's your name?
00:43:17What's that?
00:43:19Ricardo
00:43:20You're in El Paso
00:43:21Ricardo, cabrón
00:43:23Save Ricardo for over there, okay?
00:43:25Aquí
00:43:26Ricardo
00:43:26I want you to sound like you're in one of those novelas
00:43:28Who is it?
00:43:29It's Ricardo
00:43:32Did you bring a pistola?
00:43:35Sorry, man
00:43:36I'm just giving you a tough time, man
00:43:37But thank you for coming, man
00:43:38Thank you for what you do
00:43:41Seriously, bro
00:43:45I did a tour
00:43:46Recently called Around the World in Eight Days
00:43:49We went to Iraq, Afghanistan, Germany, Turkey
00:43:54Greenland, Alaska, and Los Angeles
00:43:57They had to drop me off
00:44:00Iraq was crazy, you guys
00:44:01When you land in Iraq
00:44:02It's not like landing here
00:44:03You know, in El Paso
00:44:04Where the plane comes in
00:44:07Over there
00:44:08People take shots at the planes
00:44:10So the plane comes in like this
00:44:12Like that
00:44:13And then at the last minute
00:44:16Caca
00:44:18The whole plane smelled like chimichangas
00:44:20It was terrible
00:44:26That for me was one of the scariest shows of my life, man
00:44:30I'm in Iraq
00:44:32Middle of the night
00:44:34Outside
00:44:35No tents
00:44:36Pitch black
00:44:38Helicopter flying
00:44:39And there's a spotlight
00:44:40On me
00:44:42And I'm supposed to be funny
00:44:44And I can hear
00:44:44And the crazy part
00:44:51Is that I saw a sign
00:44:52That was very familiar
00:44:54They have subways in Iraq
00:44:58I was like
00:44:59Is that
00:44:59What is it?
00:44:59Is that
00:45:00It's subway
00:45:00Oh my god
00:45:02Ew
00:45:03I got back to my room
00:45:04They have the stupid commercial there too
00:45:06In their language
00:45:07Oh my god
00:45:08I almost lost it
00:45:09Same one
00:45:10Freaking
00:45:16Oh my god
00:45:20Turn it off
00:45:21Turn it off
00:45:21Turn it off
00:45:26It's crazy, man
00:45:28You know what was crazy, bro?
00:45:30When I was in Iraq
00:45:30They wanted me to go to different bases
00:45:32But they wouldn't let me go
00:45:33Because they have to provide you with a helmet
00:45:35And a bulletproof vest
00:45:36And apparently the military does not have a big and tall
00:45:41They put that 75 pound vest on me
00:45:44It looked like a bulletproof bib
00:45:46Like if somebody shoots my snack
00:45:48I'm okay, you know
00:45:50I'll stop right here
00:45:51I'm like, oh my god
00:45:53No, no, no, no, no
00:45:58No, man
00:45:59We flew into Korea
00:46:00That threw me off a little bit too
00:46:02We go to check into the hotel
00:46:03And it was kind of scary for me
00:46:05Because the phone
00:46:06Had a big sticker on it
00:46:07That said
00:46:08Do not discuss classified information
00:46:11Someone is always listening
00:46:13That's freaky
00:46:14Because I'm calling my girl back home, right?
00:46:17Hello
00:46:17Hey, baby
00:46:18Oh my god, where are you?
00:46:19I can't tell you
00:46:22Oh my god, I'm so worried
00:46:23Don't worry, baby
00:46:24Everything's cool
00:46:25Oh my god, I miss you so much
00:46:26Where are you?
00:46:27I can't tell you
00:46:28So I'm trying to give her clues, right?
00:46:30Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
00:46:32Germany?
00:46:33What?
00:46:34I'm kidding
00:46:34Oh, thank god
00:46:36I wish you were home
00:46:37Why?
00:46:38If you were home right now
00:46:39We'd be in the room
00:46:40Really?
00:46:42What else?
00:46:43We'd be laying on the bed
00:46:44Check you out
00:46:46All of a sudden
00:46:46I heard a voice that said
00:46:48What else would you do?
00:46:53Sorry, proceed, proceed
00:46:55Locker's over there
00:46:58But I enjoy myself, you guys
00:47:00I have a lot of fun
00:47:01I made the reference
00:47:02To the police officers
00:47:03And, you know
00:47:04Sometimes there's problems
00:47:05Everywhere
00:47:07Cops used to mess with me a lot
00:47:08That's why
00:47:09I love getting recognized now
00:47:10Now they're just like
00:47:11Oh, it's you
00:47:12I'm like
00:47:14That wasn't the case
00:47:15Six years ago
00:47:17I did a theater show
00:47:18Just like this one
00:47:19In the city of San Antonio
00:47:21As soon as the show was over
00:47:22San Antonio, que paso?
00:47:24As soon as the show was over
00:47:26You know
00:47:26I'm hanging out in the lobby
00:47:27Taking pictures and stuff
00:47:28And then we go outside
00:47:30And I get stopped
00:47:31In front of the theater
00:47:32In front of my own poster
00:47:36How sad is that?
00:47:37You know, freaking
00:47:38What are you doing?
00:47:39Standing
00:47:41You have any ID?
00:47:50Keep going
00:47:50All right
00:47:53Now, uh-uh
00:47:54Every chance I get
00:47:55To have fun with him
00:47:55I will
00:47:56Last time I got stopped
00:47:57The cop came to the car
00:47:58All mean
00:47:59You know why I stopped you?
00:48:00I looked at him
00:48:01With a straight face
00:48:02And I said
00:48:02Cause I'm black
00:48:07Hell yeah, man
00:48:08What's up, player?
00:48:10He turned the flashlight
00:48:11On you guys
00:48:16Get the hell out of here
00:48:17Stupid
00:48:18Yay, yay
00:48:21Oh, and by the way
00:48:25Thank you
00:48:26To whoever brought
00:48:27The chocolate cakes
00:48:28In the back
00:48:28I got them right
00:48:29Before the show
00:48:30Thank you very much
00:48:32Very cool
00:48:36Somebody brought
00:48:37Chico's tacos too
00:48:37I thought that was great
00:48:43Now, you guys here
00:48:45Know what I'm talking about
00:48:46But everybody that's
00:48:46Watching at home
00:48:47They're like
00:48:47Chico's tacos
00:48:48What the hell's that?
00:48:49It's an El Paso tradition
00:48:51If you come to El Paso
00:49:00Just know
00:49:01That that's
00:49:01You know
00:49:02That's right here
00:49:03That's the tradition
00:49:04In El Paso
00:49:04I ran into people
00:49:05In other places
00:49:06Like Chicago
00:49:07And New York
00:49:07I'm like
00:49:08Where you from?
00:49:08El Paso
00:49:09And I say
00:49:09Chico's tacos
00:49:09And they're like
00:49:10Oh
00:49:12Like wow
00:49:13Yeah
00:49:13That's hardcore
00:49:15It is the craziest food
00:49:17I've ever tried
00:49:18You guys
00:49:18Craziest ever
00:49:20Reason is
00:49:21They
00:49:21You know
00:49:21They give you
00:49:22These little taquitos
00:49:23And there's like
00:49:23A sauce
00:49:24And you pour it
00:49:24And like
00:49:25The taquitos flow
00:49:26And it absorbs
00:49:27And
00:49:28I never thought
00:49:28I'd see the day
00:49:29Where I could drink
00:49:30A taco
00:49:35Yeah
00:49:37And you gotta have that
00:49:38At the end of the night
00:49:38Don't try to freaking
00:49:39Plan out events
00:49:40After going
00:49:41You know
00:49:41They'll say
00:49:42Oh we're gonna eat at Chico's
00:49:43And then go to the movies
00:49:43No don't do that
00:49:44Don't do that
00:49:45You'll be sitting there
00:49:46Like you know
00:49:46Hey this is a good movie
00:49:47Huh
00:49:47This is the one
00:49:48Where Nicolas Cage
00:49:49Comes out
00:49:53Anyway
00:49:53He plays the bad guy
00:49:54In this movie
00:49:54And it turns out
00:49:55Really good
00:49:58Then all of a sudden
00:50:08You're running by people
00:50:10They're like
00:50:12Chicos
00:50:17And they'll pass
00:50:18On tradition
00:50:25You know what's funny
00:50:27Is that a year from now
00:50:28There'll be people
00:50:29Watching this
00:50:29All over the world
00:50:30Just like the first DVDs
00:50:31In Canada
00:50:31Australia
00:50:32And Europe
00:50:32This DVD will wind up
00:50:34Somewhere in Australia
00:50:35And there'll be people
00:50:35In Australia
00:50:36Going
00:50:36What the hell's
00:50:37GCAS
00:50:39Cronky
00:50:39We gotta go
00:50:40We gotta see
00:50:41GCAS
00:50:42You watch
00:50:43People freaking out
00:50:44I say
00:50:45We must go try
00:50:46GCAS
00:50:47It sounds splendid
00:50:49Yes it does
00:50:50Drink a taco
00:50:51I never thought
00:50:51I'd see the day
00:50:52I'm going to try it
00:50:54El Paso de Davis
00:50:57But no
00:50:58I got chicos tacos
00:50:59And cakes
00:51:03One night
00:51:05At one show
00:51:05I received
00:51:06Eleven chocolate cakes
00:51:09And it was local
00:51:10So I took them home
00:51:11And that is an argument
00:51:13That nobody in this building
00:51:14Has ever had
00:51:15At three o'clock
00:51:15In the morning
00:51:16Cause you don't just
00:51:17Walk into the house
00:51:18With eleven cakes
00:51:19You make some noise
00:51:20You know
00:51:26And I walk in
00:51:27With the last two cakes
00:51:28And my girlfriend's
00:51:29In the kitchen
00:51:29And she's like
00:51:30What the hell is this
00:51:31I'm trying to be cute
00:51:32It's a bakery
00:51:39Where did you get
00:51:40All this cake
00:51:40I said baby
00:51:41The people at the show
00:51:42Brought it
00:51:42Are you going to eat
00:51:43All of it
00:51:45Eventually
00:51:47I'm not going to do it
00:51:47In one hit
00:51:48You know
00:51:48Freaking two hours later
00:51:49Clear
00:51:55How do you know
00:51:56Someone isn't trying
00:51:57To poison you
00:51:58With cake
00:51:58Are you serious
00:51:59It's like you live
00:52:00By the cake
00:52:01You die by the cake
00:52:02You know
00:52:03No
00:52:05Uh-uh
00:52:05So
00:52:07We're going back and forth
00:52:08Right
00:52:08We wake up Frankie
00:52:10And Frankie walks
00:52:11Into the kitchen
00:52:11At three o'clock
00:52:12In the morning
00:52:13And he's all
00:52:20Where did all the cake
00:52:21Come from
00:52:21The people at the show
00:52:23Brought it
00:52:24Tell them I said thank you
00:52:26I'll tell them
00:52:26You said thank you Frankie
00:52:28Gabriel
00:52:29How come they bring you cake
00:52:30Cause ten years ago
00:52:31I did a joke
00:52:31Where I said
00:52:32I love chocolate cake
00:52:34Now people bring me cake
00:52:35You should say
00:52:36You love transformers
00:52:39I'll start doing it
00:52:40Alright
00:52:41So my girl's like
00:52:42Baby put Frankie to bed
00:52:43I go Frankie
00:52:43You gotta go back to sleep
00:52:46Want some cake
00:52:46Yeah
00:52:48So I grabbed one of these
00:52:48Tiny cakes
00:52:49That somebody brought me
00:52:50One of those little tiny ones
00:52:51That has the plastic cover
00:52:52And the sticker on the side
00:52:53And I handed it to him
00:52:54I go here
00:52:55He goes
00:52:55A little piece
00:52:56I go
00:52:57Dude it's a small cake
00:52:59You could have the whole thing
00:53:00And the look
00:53:01That came over his face
00:53:02At three o'clock
00:53:03In the morning
00:53:04Was like
00:53:05He got a gift
00:53:05From God
00:53:07Cause I said
00:53:08Here
00:53:09And he was like
00:53:22Take it to your room
00:53:35I went to go take him to school
00:53:36The next morning
00:53:36He's in the bathroom
00:53:37Crying
00:53:39Hey
00:53:40Are you okay
00:53:41My stomach
00:53:42Your stomach
00:53:44Too much cake
00:53:45Yeah
00:53:46Was it good
00:53:47Hell yeah
00:53:49I'll see you in the car
00:53:5120 minutes later
00:53:52He comes to the car
00:53:52And he's all sweaty
00:53:55You alright
00:53:56What happened
00:53:56I blew it up
00:53:58Get in the car
00:54:00I get him to school
00:54:0145 minutes late
00:54:03And usually
00:54:04When I drop him off
00:54:05You guys
00:54:05I leave him on the side
00:54:06Of the school
00:54:07And they have like
00:54:08A drop off zone
00:54:08With cones
00:54:09And a supervisor
00:54:10To make sure
00:54:11That your kid
00:54:12Gets off safely
00:54:12When you're 45 minutes late
00:54:14There's nobody there
00:54:15So I left him
00:54:16In front of the school
00:54:17And apparently
00:54:18That's a no no
00:54:19You're not supposed to do that
00:54:20I didn't know
00:54:23Go for it
00:54:25I'm not supposed to
00:54:26I know
00:54:26Just go
00:54:27You're late
00:54:27Go
00:54:30Out of nowhere
00:54:31Here comes the principal
00:54:32And I know it's the principal
00:54:34Cause he's like
00:54:35It's the principal
00:54:35It's the principal
00:54:36It's the principal
00:54:36It's the principal
00:54:37I'm like
00:54:37Relax
00:54:37I'm 30
00:54:38I don't give a damn
00:54:40Here comes the principal
00:54:42Sir
00:54:42Sir
00:54:43This is not the designated
00:54:45Drop off area
00:54:46Please take your child
00:54:47To the other side
00:54:48Of the school
00:54:49You cannot leave him here
00:54:51I was like
00:54:52Watch this
00:55:07That's how you do it
00:55:08Homeboy
00:55:09That's how you do it
00:55:10That principal
00:55:11Was amazing
00:55:12Cause she was like
00:55:40Did that really happen?
00:55:42Yes
00:55:44I felt so bad
00:55:46Cause when I picked up Frankie
00:55:47He's like
00:55:47The principal yelled at me
00:55:49I'm like
00:55:49I'm sorry
00:55:50I'm gonna tell my mom
00:55:51No
00:55:52It's alright dude
00:55:54We're having a good time
00:55:55Right now
00:55:55With his mom
00:55:56And it sucks you guys
00:55:57Cause we got into a fight
00:55:58That weekend
00:55:59That was not too big
00:56:01But it was like
00:56:02It could have been prevented
00:56:04My girlfriend's backing the car
00:56:05Up out of the driveway
00:56:06And somebody had left
00:56:08Like this
00:56:08I guess they were moving
00:56:09And they left this big box
00:56:10Behind the car
00:56:11And my girlfriend's backing up
00:56:13And I go
00:56:13Baby
00:56:14Baby
00:56:14There's a box
00:56:15I got it
00:56:18Even Frankie was like
00:56:19Mom
00:56:20He told you
00:56:20There was a box right there
00:56:21Shut up
00:56:23So we get inside the house
00:56:24And I looked at her
00:56:25And I said
00:56:25What the hell
00:56:26Is your problem?
00:56:28And sure enough
00:56:29Frankie walks up
00:56:30Oh
00:56:30You guys are gonna fight
00:56:32I'm like
00:56:32Oh shoot
00:56:32No no no
00:56:33I'm sorry Frankie
00:56:34We're not fighting
00:56:34You're yelling at my mom
00:56:35No no no
00:56:35No no
00:56:36I love your mom
00:56:36She just didn't hear me
00:56:39You're not mad at her
00:56:40No I'm not mad at your mom
00:56:41Baby
00:56:41I love you
00:56:42I love you
00:56:42See I love your mom
00:56:43I love you
00:56:45I love your mom
00:56:46Everything's cool
00:56:46You wanna go play some video games
00:56:47Or something?
00:56:48Come on
00:56:48I'll go play with you
00:56:49Oh okay
00:56:49Okay come on
00:56:50I'm not mad at your mom
00:56:51Dude come on
00:56:51Let's go
00:56:52Say bye to your mom
00:56:52Bye mom
00:56:53Come on let's go
00:56:53Come on
00:56:54We're cool
00:56:54I'm not mad at her
00:56:55Come on let's go
00:57:00Come on let's go
00:57:03See some of you are laughing
00:57:04Some of you are like
00:57:04Can he really say that?
00:57:07I snuck it in there huh?
00:57:10No no fighting
00:57:12But I had to make up the fact
00:57:13That I yelled at Frankie
00:57:14I go Frankie
00:57:15Whatever you wanna do
00:57:16Let's do it
00:57:16Okay bro can we go to an arcade?
00:57:19Arcade?
00:57:19Dude you have a Nintendo Wii
00:57:21At your house
00:57:22And then I had a flashback
00:57:24To 20 years ago
00:57:25Que que arcade
00:57:26Cabrón tu tienes un Nintendo
00:57:27En la casa
00:57:27You have a Nintendo at home
00:57:30I'm like oh my god
00:57:30I'm turning into my mom
00:57:32Come on dude let's go
00:57:35I take him
00:57:36To this big old freaking arcade right
00:57:38And I felt so out of it
00:57:39Because I didn't know
00:57:40You couldn't put money
00:57:41In the machines anymore
00:57:43Man I remember quarters
00:57:44I'm thinking here five bucks
00:57:46And he's like looking at me like
00:57:48What go play
00:57:49And he's like
00:57:50He came right back
00:57:50All done
00:57:51I'm like dude
00:57:52I didn't know this
00:57:53You have to go to another machine
00:57:54Put in money
00:57:55And then it gives you a card
00:57:56And then you swipe that card
00:57:57To play video games
00:57:58And the game he wants to play
00:58:00Doesn't cost a quarter
00:58:01It costs three dollars
00:58:03A game
00:58:04Big old machine called
00:58:05Dance Dance Revolution
00:58:08Some of you know this game?
00:58:09Yeah?
00:58:09Maybe sorta?
00:58:10For those of you that don't know the game
00:58:12It's pretty simple
00:58:12It's a dancing game
00:58:14And there's a big screen
00:58:14And then arrows come out to music
00:58:16And whatever arrow comes out
00:58:18That's the arrow you have to step on
00:58:20When it comes out
00:58:21Kinda cool
00:58:22But all the music is techno
00:58:24And it's loud
00:58:26I know I'm getting older
00:58:27Cause I'm like
00:58:28They gotta turn that down
00:58:30Dance Dance Revolution
00:58:32Revolution
00:58:33Get ready
00:58:33And the kids are like
00:58:34I'm ready
00:58:36Select music
00:58:41And that's what they dance to
00:58:42Ready?
00:58:43Go!
00:58:44Go!
00:58:47Go!
00:58:47Go!
00:58:48Go!
00:58:49Go!
00:58:49Go!
00:58:57Perfect
00:58:58And the kids like
00:58:59Woo!
00:58:59And I'm like
00:59:05I love this game
00:59:06But they need to have something
00:59:07That's more fluffy friendly
00:59:09So the fluffy people
00:59:10And parents can hang
00:59:11And enjoy
00:59:12We're watching this game
00:59:14For over an hour
00:59:15I told Frankie
00:59:16Let's go play another game
00:59:17And then we'll come back
00:59:18Where the line goes down
00:59:19The line never goes down
00:59:21Great
00:59:22So I'm watching kid
00:59:24After kid
00:59:24After kid
00:59:25And I'm like
00:59:26Serious?
00:59:29How much is it?
00:59:30It's three dollars a dance
00:59:31Three dollars a dance?
00:59:33And then I thought about it
00:59:34Well I paid twenty
00:59:35Two nights ago
00:59:36So
00:59:37I guess three dollars
00:59:38Isn't that bad
00:59:40Now that I think about it
00:59:43Some of you are clapping
00:59:44Some are like
00:59:45I don't get it
00:59:47Yeah whatever
00:59:48Anyway
00:59:50So kid after kid
00:59:52Then I found something out
00:59:54You can always spot
00:59:56That one kid
00:59:57Who you just know
00:59:58Is going to grow up
00:59:59To be a little bit more
01:00:01Creative
01:00:03Than others
01:00:04By the way
01:00:04He plays the game
01:00:05And all the other little kids
01:00:07They know something's up
01:00:08They're like
01:00:08You got to watch
01:00:09When Benji plays
01:00:10You got to watch
01:00:10Watch
01:00:12Sure enough
01:00:13Here comes Benji
01:00:14Right?
01:00:14Dance dance revolution
01:00:16Get ready
01:00:17I'm so ready
01:00:18I'm like
01:00:20Oh
01:00:20Oh it's on
01:00:24Select music
01:00:29Ready?
01:00:30Go
01:00:30This dude took off
01:00:49Perfect
01:00:49I know
01:00:54Frankie's like
01:00:55I'm next
01:00:55You can't follow that
01:00:57You better come over here
01:00:58And play some Street Fighter
01:00:59Let me show you
01:00:59How to throw a fireball
01:01:00I had to make it up to him
01:01:06Another way
01:01:07I had to take him
01:01:08To Disneyland
01:01:10I stopped going to Disneyland
01:01:12A long time ago
01:01:13Because you know what
01:01:13Those roller coasters
01:01:14Are not fluffy friendly
01:01:17Disney cares
01:01:18That's why there's safety there
01:01:19You know
01:01:20They have all those
01:01:20Different harnesses
01:01:21And if you're over 300 pounds
01:01:23Just stay in the parking lot
01:01:26You know
01:01:26Because they got the whole
01:01:27You know
01:01:31You're fluffy
01:01:32Forget it
01:01:34That's why I love
01:01:35A ghetto ass carnival
01:01:36You know those ones
01:01:37They build in like
01:01:38Six hours
01:01:38I can still ride
01:01:40Those roller coasters
01:01:41It's only one bar
01:01:43Three clicks
01:01:43That's it
01:01:44If it locks
01:01:44Good
01:01:45If it doesn't
01:01:45Hold on
01:01:50Plus fluffy people
01:01:51Never fall
01:01:51We never fall
01:01:53You know who falls
01:01:54The skinny guy
01:01:54That got stuck next to us
01:01:57That's who
01:01:59More room
01:02:03But me and Disney
01:02:04No
01:02:05No mas
01:02:06But I had to
01:02:07Because I messed up
01:02:09I fell asleep
01:02:10On the couch
01:02:10And I woke up
01:02:11All you know
01:02:12And Frankie
01:02:13Was watching TV
01:02:14He goes
01:02:15Look here bro
01:02:16Look
01:02:17Disneyland
01:02:18And I was like
01:02:19Dude
01:02:19What's the big deal
01:02:21Okay
01:02:21It's Disneyland
01:02:21Now what
01:02:22You never gone
01:02:22You never gone
01:02:28My dad never took me
01:02:31Oh mother
01:02:32Next morning
01:02:39Welcome to the magical world of Disney
01:02:42We walk in the park
01:02:44He's all happy
01:02:46We get into the middle of the park
01:02:48And he's so funny
01:02:49He starts getting winded
01:02:50I thought it was hysterical
01:02:53Because up until then
01:02:54I only saw myself get like that
01:02:55You know
01:02:58So to see a little ten year old version of
01:03:03Hysterical
01:03:03I was dying
01:03:04I go Frankie
01:03:05You want to take a break
01:03:06Mmhmm
01:03:06Kibo
01:03:07This park is big
01:03:08I'm like see
01:03:09It's not a small world after all
01:03:13Whatever dude
01:03:14Sit down
01:03:15So we're sitting down
01:03:16Waiting
01:03:17All of a sudden
01:03:18I start getting recognized
01:03:19At Disneyland
01:03:19And that for me was cool
01:03:21You know
01:03:21People are walking by
01:03:24Fluffy
01:03:25Can we take a picture
01:03:26Sure
01:03:29More people
01:03:29It's him
01:03:30It's that guy
01:03:32Pikachu
01:03:34Now I have like ten people around me
01:03:35Like I'm a new character
01:03:36At the park
01:03:38Best part is
01:03:39Frankie starts getting annoyed
01:03:40He's like
01:03:41Why don't they leave you alone
01:03:43Frankie
01:03:44These are the people
01:03:44That come to the shows
01:03:45They're the reason
01:03:46Why you have a Playstation
01:03:50Thank you
01:03:54I'm going here
01:03:54And I'll start taking the pictures
01:03:56So I told Frankie
01:03:57Frankie what ride
01:03:58Are you going to get on
01:03:59Ride?
01:04:00Yeah
01:04:00What ride do you want to get on
01:04:01I don't want to get on a ride
01:04:04What the hell are we doing
01:04:05At Disneyland
01:04:07The commercial said
01:04:08That Disneyland
01:04:09Is the happiest place
01:04:10On earth
01:04:11Oh my god
01:04:14That's IHOP
01:04:17What the hell are we doing here?
01:04:22We're hanging out at IHOP
01:04:23And you know
01:04:24We started talking
01:04:25And it was kind of like
01:04:26A little bonding moment
01:04:27Because Frankie
01:04:27His dad isn't in the picture
01:04:29And my dad wasn't in the picture
01:04:30So for some reason
01:04:32You know
01:04:32We've got a little connection
01:04:33Going on
01:04:33And it's pretty cool
01:04:34Frankie told me something
01:04:36And it got me right here
01:04:36He goes
01:04:37You know
01:04:38I'm talking to him
01:04:39I said Frankie
01:04:39I says
01:04:40Do you ever want to
01:04:40You know
01:04:41Talk or see your real dad?
01:04:43And he goes
01:04:43You are my real dad
01:04:46I was like
01:04:46Oh
01:04:49And then he followed it up with this
01:04:50I want my last name
01:04:51To be Iglesias
01:04:55And then his mom walked in
01:04:57Me too
01:04:59They work together
01:05:00They work together
01:05:02I knew it
01:05:03It's a tag team
01:05:06Whatever
01:05:06Whatever
01:05:10Another time I took him to IHOP
01:05:12You guys
01:05:13Too funny
01:05:14We walk in there
01:05:14We got my buddy Noah
01:05:15Went to go eat
01:05:16Tore it up
01:05:17Walked out of the parking lot
01:05:18And discovered that my car
01:05:20Had been stolen
01:05:22Yeah
01:05:23I was fooled too
01:05:24I'm like
01:05:24Oh
01:05:26We gotta walk
01:05:29My buddy Noah
01:05:30He's trying to be helpful
01:05:31He's like
01:05:31Gabriel
01:05:31Don't you have OnStar?
01:05:33I'm like
01:05:33Yeah
01:05:33But it's in the car
01:05:34Stupid
01:05:35Well can't you call the 800 number?
01:05:37Maybe they can track your car
01:05:38I'm like
01:05:39Oh shoot Noah
01:05:39You're a genius
01:05:40So I pull out my cell phone
01:05:41And my freaking
01:05:42You know
01:05:42OnStar card
01:05:43And I call them up
01:05:44Freaking
01:05:46OnStar
01:05:47For OnStar service
01:05:49Press 1
01:05:50Para servicio en español
01:05:52O prima al numero 2
01:05:53To report a loss
01:05:55Or stolen vehicle
01:05:55Press 3
01:05:57One moment
01:06:11Thank you for choosing OnStar
01:06:12This is Kim speaking
01:06:13How can I help you?
01:06:14Kim
01:06:14They just stole my car
01:06:16From IHOP
01:06:17I'm very sorry sir
01:06:18Can I get your OnStar number?
01:06:19Actually Kim
01:06:20I can't read the card
01:06:21It's kind of chewed up
01:06:22Can I give you like
01:06:23A credit card
01:06:24Or social security
01:06:24Or something?
01:06:25Sir just give me your name
01:06:26Okay my name is Gabriel
01:06:27Iglesias
01:06:28Okay
01:06:31Hello
01:06:34Hello
01:06:36Kim
01:06:39Kim
01:06:41Do you spell that
01:06:43What a I?
01:06:55OnStar
01:06:56For OnStar service
01:06:58Press 1
01:06:58Para servicio en español
01:07:00O prima al numero 2
01:07:01Kim
01:07:02Un momento
01:07:03Por favor
01:07:28I speak Spanish too
01:07:30Motherfucker
01:07:31I love you Opasso
01:07:33Muchas gracias
01:07:34Thank you so much
01:07:37Thank you
01:07:47Because I can'tance
01:07:49From Jack
01:07:50For good
01:07:51Me
01:07:51Mary
01:07:51Who
01:07:57Do youơ
01:07:58I'm
01:07:58I Love
01:07:58you Som Who
01:07:58WhoGO
01:07:59I
01:08:00love
01:08:00I love you
01:08:03I love you
01:08:04I love you
01:08:05I love you
01:08:06You love you
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