00:00In this situation, I think you're also in dad mode, and you're not on date mode.
00:05I'm in my 50s, newly divorced, and dipping my toe back into dating.
00:09I've been talking to a guy, and we made plans for lunch and a walk.
00:12Very normal, very low pressure.
00:14Then his nanny canceled, and he asked if he could bring his kids along.
00:18And what is very clearly a date.
00:20Is this modern dating, or did I accidentally sign up to be a stepmom before the appetizer even arrived?
00:26This is a first date?
00:27Yes, they've been talking, and this is...
00:30You know, I think if it's a first date, I honestly would say, you know what?
00:34I'm sure your children are great, and I would love to do this, but I don't really want to include
00:39them.
00:39I don't want to be included on this first date with your children.
00:42I think this is a situation where the wording matters so much.
00:45I don't think I would say it that way.
00:46You say it nicely.
00:48Oh, well, I don't know.
00:49I'm being put on the spot now.
00:50I feel like I'd ask ChatGBT and be like, how do I say this?
00:52But I think what the sentiment should be is, oh, no problem that your nanny canceled.
00:58Like, you spend time with them, and we'll just reschedule to a date that works for us.
01:02Good answer, hon.
01:04Just because it shouldn't come off like, oh, I don't want to spend time with your kids, even if that
01:09may be true.
01:10It should come off like, this is about me and you.
01:13Like, let's see if we even like each other.
01:15But I also think it's terrible pressure on the children.
01:17I don't know how old they are, but if they're little kids, all of a sudden you're putting a third
01:21party in the mix.
01:22And I don't think that's advisable.
01:25Right.
01:25I mean, if you had been dating the person for several months, then it's no big deal.
01:29Yeah.
01:29I would say absolutely, but not on a first or even a second or a third date.
01:32In this situation, I think you're also in dad mode and you're not on date mode.
01:37So you're not going to probably even come across exactly how you want to on an early date.
01:42I just think it's not a good idea.
01:44No good.
01:44Yeah.
01:45Modern problems.
01:46Classic solutions.
01:47Got a situation.
01:48We've got opinions.
01:49Send it in.
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