#video #American Dad S22E06 The Treasure of Old Chinatown DD 5 1 H 264
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00:03Good morning USA
00:06I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day
00:10The sun in the sky has a smile on his face
00:13And he's shining a salute to the American race
00:19Oh boy, it's swell to say
00:22Good morning USA
00:25Good morning USA
00:33I love dim sum
00:35So many bites of delicious fun
00:38Spin the lazy Susan for another one
00:41Oh, there they are
00:43Oh, it's so good to see you
00:45Even under such awful circumstances
00:48I can't believe they're tearing down
00:50Winsome, Lose Some, Dim Sum
00:52They're tearing down all of Chinatown
00:54For what?
00:55Dumbass apartments no one wants to live in
00:58We're building New Chinatown Town
01:01Which I think is a great name
01:03Not to replace what came before it
01:05But to honor it
01:07That is why both cheesecake factories in New Chinatown Town
01:10Are renaming their world famous Bang Bang Chicken to
01:14Old Dirty Chinatown Chicken
01:17Man, Vic Mancuso is the best
01:20The confidence to wear gator skin shoes to a construction site
01:24I wish I had that
01:25Enough chit-chat
01:26Let's eat
01:27Excited to try this place
01:28Never been here and I'm aspiring food vlogger Jake Eats
01:32I go to food places, sit in my car and film myself eating and talking about it all while masturbating
01:37just below frame
01:38Don't worry everybody I can handle the ordering
01:41We'll have a large meat lovers pizza, nine Oreo McFlurries, a bloomin' onion, and a pitcher of Mountain Dew code
01:47red
01:48Okay
01:49You know, Steve, the history of Chinatown goes back all the way to the 15th century
01:55What?
01:56During the Ming Dynasty, the sailor Zhang He captained a great fleet
02:01Every ship filled with treasure
02:04Treasure?
02:05Shh!
02:06To show the world China's wealth he sailed to India and then to Africa and some people think he then
02:13sailed here
02:14How'd he sail on land?
02:16Now you dummy
02:17Using his magical compass, Zhang He sailed all the way to America and buried his treasure right here in Langley
02:26Falls
02:27And Chinatown grew over it?
02:29Yes, dummy, legend says there's an amulet that can lead you to the start and I have it
02:37Oops, these are my dog tags from Madonna's Express Yourself Tour
02:42Ah, here, I wanted in a poker game, I had three eights
02:47Baba, are you talking about treasure to my son?
02:51No, we were talking about pleasure, right Steve?
02:55Yeah, pleasure
02:57Why is it we always say it's a pleasure to meet you?
03:00It's a little early to know, right?
03:03Ugh
03:05Good cover, Steve
03:06Fifteen plates of chicken feet
03:08Gross
03:09What?
03:10Roger
03:11Hey, no way I ordered fifteen of these
03:13And I'm still waiting for that pitcher of Code Red
03:16Forget it, Jake Eats
03:17It's Chinatown
03:22Well, I don't think I'm beating that one
03:24See you next week
03:27It was so cool hanging with Mama and Baba the other day
03:30Don't think I didn't hear you two talking about treasure
03:33Most of my friend's grandparents are into lame stuff
03:36Like the show Blue Bloods and dying
03:39I love that Baba's into treasure hunting
03:41He's a fool
03:42Why are you so harsh on Baba?
03:44A fool, I say!
03:46A fool of the highest order!
03:48You know why, Steve?
03:49Because the treasure doesn't exist
03:52It's a bogus legend
03:54Possibly the dumbest treasure story ever told
03:58Sixty-two ships
04:00All bigger than the Titanic
04:02All full of treasure
04:03Which they hauled by foot
04:05Forty-two miles to Langley Falls
04:11She's questioning how Baba got the magic amulet in a poker game with three eights
04:17Three eights?
04:18If you had something of immense value
04:21You don't put it down on a hand that could lose to three eights!
04:26Okay, I get it
04:27The whole treasure thing's dumb
04:28Can we go?
04:29I've had to poop for five errands
04:34Holy cow!
04:35What a line!
04:36Thanks for helping, guys
04:37I'm having a tough time launching my channel
04:40I've only put two videos up
04:41One's an out-of-focus video of my shoe
04:44And the other was when a wild turkey wandered into our yard
04:47Kinda blew up
04:48But it got demonetized because counting crows was playing in the background
04:51Don't worry
04:52All Haley and I do is watch TikTok
04:54Being a food vlogger is easy
04:56Make a bunch of noises while you eat, then say what you like about it
04:59It's your boy Jake Eats
05:01And I'm at the Chili Hat
05:02It's a burger place, but they're known for their chili
05:06Let's take the lid off and get a good whiff
05:10Little spicy
05:11Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
05:15Sorry, I'll go get some napkins
05:19They made me wait in line just for more napkins
05:22And did you get the chili too?
05:25I'll be back
05:26Leave the napkins!
05:28Catch!
05:31I'll get some more napkins too
05:38Where are you going with all those big menus?
05:41These are books on Chinese lore
05:43Just because Mom doesn't want to entertain Baba's sweet little treasure fantasy doesn't mean I can't
05:48That's exactly what it means
05:49Mom, don't you want me to connect with Baba?
05:52Of course! Just not over treasure
05:55Which is everything with him!
05:57That's why I forbid you to hang out with him!
06:00You're so unfair!
06:02And I did not like that thing you just did where you pretended to be nice and then changed
06:09Wow, that was a lot to process
06:12I need to stop thinking for a while
06:16That's better
06:23Oh look, a note!
06:25Oh look, a note!
06:34Hey Steve, I'm sorry
06:39That little
06:40Ah!
06:43English leather and hot Takis
06:46Baba
06:52Steve, you got my pigeon!
06:54My mom's gonna kill me if she sees I'm gone
06:56Not if we find a treasure!
06:59Watching time go by
07:01Guarding the start
07:03According to legend
07:04The key to the entrance was an ancient sundial
07:08Unfortunately, I think they built that clock tower over it
07:12Then last night
07:13I remember seeing that the other day
07:17Watching time go by
07:19That lion's watching the old sundial
07:23Wait!
07:24Those books I read said that in Chinese culture
07:27It's bad luck to enter a lion by the mouth
07:30Then I guess that means your grandma isn't a lion
07:33Look, I'm serious
07:34It's why MGM Las Vegas had to change its original lion's head entrance
07:39Maybe it goes somewhere else?
07:41Steve, get your hand out of that lion's butt
07:43I knew I couldn't trust you Baba
07:46Come on Steve, we're going home
07:57Oh my god, it's the entrance!
07:59Come on, let's check it out!
08:04Great, now I have to go save him!
08:07Oh boo hoo, Francine has to go on an exciting treasure hunt
08:14Ugh, my bones
08:18Quit lying around you two! That's treasure to find!
08:32Wow, it's beautiful!
08:35When I arrive, you can go
08:39These are Chinese numbers
08:41Maybe it's a date?
08:42To your junk who came to America
08:45You know it, Franny! Sing it!
08:47Zheng He sailed for fun
08:49Came to Langley in 1421
08:51That's it!
08:53Although extremely lacking in pizazz
09:05Are we thinking this water's a good thing?
09:08Whisk us away to the next area?
09:10Oh yeah, it'll whisk us away
09:12To our deaths!
09:14Mom, you're doing the nice to mean thing!
09:16This makes no sense!
09:17All the research points to 1421
09:19Damn it, Baba!
09:21Your stupid obsession is gonna get us killed!
09:24Stupid obsession?
09:25We're probably 50 feet from all the treasure of 15th century China
09:3015th century China?
09:32We're idiots!
09:33They didn't use the same calendar as us!
09:38Our 1421 was their 4118!
09:41We are so stupid!
09:52A few more seconds and I'd have brain damage!
09:55Wait, do I have brain damage?
09:57Ask me Snot's social security number
10:00985007199
10:01Oh, thank god
10:05Good to see you again
10:06Oh, you're not Dana
10:07Well, let me catch you up
10:08I've been through this line six times over the last nine hours
10:11And I still haven't been able to review your chili
10:13Once I sneezed it all over my RAV4
10:16Twice I dropped it
10:17Then some teenagers slapped the bowl out of my hands
10:20Guess it's called a chili check?
10:21Pretty funny
10:22Then I got clipped by a VW Golf
10:24But that was my fault
10:25Because I was walking backwards through the parking lot
10:27Having a heated exchange with an off-duty baseball coach
10:30So anyway, one small chili please
10:36Chili check!
10:37Ha! Still funny
10:39I got chili checked again
10:41I gotta hop back in line
10:43Oh no, looks like the shark's nest just let out
10:46They must have given up three touchdowns in the fourth quarter
10:49So everyone's cashing in their free cheer-up chili
10:51Sometimes when you lose, you really win
10:55Hey, there's still some chili in here
10:58Chili check!
11:01Look the door
11:05But look! Moonlight! A way out!
11:08This whole place is falling in on itself
11:11We gotta get out of here
11:12Get out?
11:13We're closer now than we've ever been
11:15We'll finally be crazy rich Asians
11:18Just like in that movie
11:20Parasite
11:20This is what you always did
11:22Put treasure ahead of everyone
11:24You wasted my whole childhood training me for treasure hunting
11:29Rock climbing, Chinese lure, Krav Maga
11:33Dislocating my limbs to fit through tight spaces
11:36Well, can I offer one rebuttal in my defense?
11:40What?
11:45Go!
11:47Woo!
11:49I think of all the good times that I've missed
11:52With that sweet treasure I just cannot resist
11:58Ow!
12:00I got it bad, got it bad, got it bad
12:03I'm hot for treasure
12:07I got it bad, so bad
12:11I'm hot for treasure
12:14Take it, Steve!
12:17Dad!
12:21Come on!
12:22Come on! We're gonna get smushed!
12:26Let's go, Steve!
12:27We can still get the treasure!
12:30Sorry, Mom!
12:31Steve, no!
12:36I must have slid weird
12:37Look away, Baba
12:42Vic Mancuso
12:43Vic Mancuso!
12:45Vic Mancuso?
12:47Thank God you're working in the dead of night
12:50I know this sounds crazy
12:52But my father and son are stuck underground
12:56In a dangerous web of treasure tunnels
13:00Please, calm down
13:01Step into my little portable construction office thingy
13:05I don't know what they're called
13:07Do you? Let's just go inside
13:10I don't get why Mom's still upset
13:12You were right about everything
13:15There's another room down there
13:18Not again!
13:22Oh, my spine!
13:24My precious spine!
13:27Sorry, what were you saying?
13:29Something about a tiger's butt?
13:31Lion's butt!
13:32The lion statue right here in the square!
13:35Please, excuse my silk hon-fu robe
13:38I'm in the middle of one of my many daily suit changes
13:41Of course!
13:42I see you've noticed from my object dart and Jackie Chan posters that I appreciate fine Chinese things
13:49I could watch Rush Hour 2 all day
13:52Yeah, it's a great movie
13:54I'm gonna need some henchmen in here
13:55Wait, what?
13:57Francine, I didn't buy old dirty Chinatown just to turn a profit
14:01If the legends are true, Zheng He's mythical compass is right below us
14:07With that power, I could redevelop the world
14:11Wait a second, you're a bad guy
14:16Listen up, this lady, a grandpa and some dumb kid found the entrance to the treasure before you
14:23You knew about the treasure?
14:25Now it will be super easy to catch up to your family, force the old guy to lead us to
14:30the treasure, and kill them
14:32Ah, sometimes I'm so smart, and sometimes I'm so dumb
14:38Also, guys, I think getting outsmarted by this group of ragtags is another example of how our hybrid work schedule
14:45is just not working
14:47Henchmen work is something best done in person, everyone's gotta start coming in more
14:51No more Zoom!
14:52Sorry, boss, you cut out for a second, what'd you say?
14:56Ugh, nevermind
15:03You'll do anything to my son, and I swear, I will find you, and I will hurt you
15:10You can do whatever you want to my dad
15:12Oh, you're not going anywhere
15:14You sure you're good to watch her, Trevor?
15:17Yeah, I'm good, Vic, it's just like I'm there, she pulls anything, I'll slack you
15:22Now it's time to catch these dorks, get Zheng He's compass, and become the most powerful real estate developer in
15:29the world!
15:29Right after I change my suit one more time, I'm just worried this one won't go with the compass
15:36I'm telling you, Steve, Mama is insatiable
15:40Please stop! I should have stayed with Mom, and I gotta pee
15:44That's like the eighth time you had to pee!
15:46So anyway, I don't know if it's her or just my sex appeal, but Mama can go all night
15:52Oh my god, stop!
16:01Hey Trevor, do I hear the bluey theme song in the background?
16:05Didn't you tell your daughter no more screen time?
16:08Are you kidding me, Presley?
16:15Hey, Presley was asleep
16:18Later, Trevor, I gotta save my son
16:21Oh no, you were lying
16:23Gotta stop trusting everyone, Trevor
16:37My Chinese is a little rusty
16:39This either means quick way or quick death
16:43I'll take my chances
16:49Wheeeee!
16:51Another pee puddle?
16:53They must have a dog or something
16:56But if you really want to juice your grandma's orange
17:00Mommy!
17:01Shhh! Pancuso's henchmen are all over the place
17:04The guy rebuilding Chinatown?
17:06He's only doing it to get his hands on Zheng He's compass
17:09Let's get moving before one of them catches up to us
17:12Too late
17:14We can take these guys
17:17Okay, I got this
17:20Krav Maga!
17:21Threat punch! Threat punch! Threat punch!
17:23I mostly do throat punches
17:25Good thing these guys all had throats
17:29Okay, okay, okay
17:30We are clean
17:31We have the chili
17:33Let's do this
17:35Burgers, more burgers, fries
17:37They forgot the f***ing chili!
17:43That's chili, huh?
17:45Damn it, she did say be careful the chili is under the burgers
17:48She said it twice actually
17:51This can't be the end, it doesn't make sense
17:54I'm gonna go pee again
17:56You know, I didn't have to include you in my treasure obsession when you were growing up
18:00I did it because I enjoy spending time with you
18:03I like spending time with you too
18:05The problem was, once it wasn't treasure related, you didn't want to spend time with me anymore
18:11I'm sorry, I just thought if I could get the treasure, I could give you and your sister and your
18:17mom a better life
18:18I think I would have just preferred you more in the life we did have
18:22Uh, guys, I think my pee found something
18:26Maybe we have to twist this rock?
18:28I'm not touching pee
18:29Me either
18:30Ah, Steve has pee hands!
18:34Pee pee hands, kid!
18:39There's an indentation
18:40We need to fill it with something
18:42Not just something
18:44Not just something, Zhang He's lucky gold medallion
18:46Didn't we use that to get in here?
18:48No, that was Zhang He's amulet
18:51I'm talking about Zhang He's medallion
18:53Which I gave to you for your 12th birthday
18:56No, you gave me...
18:59My necklace!
19:01I knew you'd keep it safe
19:21Zhang He's compass
19:23It's magnificent
19:25And it's all magnifi-mine
19:29Now, I'll have the power to develop the whole world into a crappy mixed-use retail space
19:36Where parking is only free for the first 30 minutes
19:41And no validations
19:43EVER!
19:47Jahang!
19:59An exit!
20:03You don't need that
20:04You already have treasure
20:07And so do I
20:17Win some, lose some, dim some
20:20Let's go some!
20:34You fools!
20:35I had it in my hands!
20:40I saved that dummy's life just so he could die?
20:43Hey Baba, I have one question
20:46What were you gonna do without my necklace?
20:48Oh, Steve.
20:50I knew you'd show up
20:53Suckers!
20:53Shoulda gone back in!
20:55Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
21:06What up?
21:06It's your boy Jake Eats
21:08And I'm here to tell you what I think of the Chili Hat
21:28Well, guess we better find a way home.
21:30Chitty-checks!
21:32Bye-bye, see you soon.
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