- 6 hours ago
The Assembly AU S03E01 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:20Morning.
00:21I would guess from how you're walking that you are very excited.
00:24Yeah.
00:25Thomas, how are you feeling?
00:27Excited.
00:27Same.
00:31Are you okay on the stage?
00:32Yeah, I'm doing fine. Just a bit nervous, that's all.
00:35We all get a bit nervous.
00:37This is like the first ever person that made an animated show
00:40that's coming on the show, and I got in so hype about it.
00:50Here he comes.
00:51Oh, my God.
00:53Oh, here we go.
00:54Hello.
00:55Welcome to the assembly.
00:56Oh, it's nice to be here.
00:57Hi.
00:58Hi.
00:59How are you, my friends?
01:01I recognise a bunch of these faces as well.
01:04Hey, guys.
01:05Good to see you.
01:07I've seen your wonderful work.
01:09Oh, thank you.
01:10You guys are superstars.
01:12Wait, so you watched the Hamish episode?
01:14I did watch the Hamish episode.
01:16Oh, no!
01:17I'm actually a bit nervous now.
01:18Oh, no!
01:25Straight down the barrel of the camera, okay?
01:27Everyone good?
01:29Okay, in three.
01:33Tonight, the assembly returns.
01:36And graduates from past series are back.
01:39Prep day one.
01:41Prep day one.
01:41Hey, guys.
01:43Mentored by Lee Sales.
01:46Hi, everybody.
01:48The students have graduated from the Journalism Foundations course
01:51and they're ready for the next step.
01:53Taking us on the road.
01:54Wow.
01:55Let's keep going.
01:56And behind the scenes.
01:57This is really awesome.
02:00To level up our media skills.
02:02Hey, Abby, we're about to record a song.
02:04Okay, I'm ready to go.
02:06On both sides of the camera.
02:08Square up to the camera.
02:10Some of Australia's most celebrated names are taking the hot seat.
02:14No making me cry, okay?
02:16For interviews like you've never seen before.
02:18What do you consider your most important decision?
02:20Um.
02:21Have you ever been arrested?
02:23That is a good question.
02:24What is the most bogan thing you've ever done?
02:26Oh, ho, ho!
02:28You've got this, Jess.
02:30Sorry.
02:31Tissue bell is back again!
02:33You have proven that no questions are off the table.
02:36We are Miss Gemplee!
02:50Hello, Pearly.
02:52I'm going back to the assembly.
02:56Uh, yeah, I'll definitely need that.
03:00I'm very excited.
03:02It's...
03:03I'm coming back home.
03:06Let's do this.
03:08Doing the last series of the assembly was such a dream come true.
03:13And so it's just beyond my wildest imagination to be doing it again.
03:28Wow, I'm the first here.
03:31Since I was last on the assembly, I have been so busy.
03:36I got to interview Chris Hemsworth on the red carpet.
03:41Do an internship with ABC Sport.
03:44Ryan, my name is Abby.
03:46Lovely to meet you.
03:47The assembly has helped me a lot with all my confidence and interview skills.
03:53Thank you very much. Pleasure to meet you.
03:54And I got a job with the ABC social media team.
03:58To be back here again, it is very exciting.
04:02Abby!
04:02Pleasure!
04:04Hey, hey, hey!
04:05Super excited to see my old troops again.
04:08Hello.
04:08Hello.
04:09My name's Pat.
04:10Hello.
04:10I'm meeting some of the Series 1 folks who I've only seen on TV so far.
04:14So, it's a huge day.
04:16Hello.
04:17Let's do a proper handbag.
04:18Nice to meet you, Molly.
04:20Evie!
04:21Evie!
04:21Hi.
04:22Hello.
04:23Andrew!
04:24Hey, Andrew!
04:24Since I graduated from the assembly, I did my internship at the ABC in Canberra.
04:30Today, I am at the National Arboretum and I am going to go and talk to some people and find
04:36out what they do.
04:37I feel like a journalist now.
04:39So, have you got any new plants, Andrew?
04:41Yes, I have got quite a few.
04:43Quite a few.
04:44Any new succulents?
04:45No, not yet.
04:46Oh, no.
04:49Hello, everyone.
04:51Hello.
04:52Hello.
04:53Hello.
04:53Hey, guys.
04:54Nice to meet you, mate.
04:55I'm Finn.
04:56Sales.
04:56Season 1, guys.
04:58Oh, great to finally meet you.
04:59Joe.
05:00James.
05:01Nice to be here.
05:01Season 2, Season 1.
05:03Hi!
05:04How are you guys?
05:06I'm very excited that the group's back together.
05:08We're back!
05:09And I'm very curious about who are the celebrities we're going to interview next.
05:22This time on the assembly, my role as mentor is continuing.
05:26But I know the students now all quite well, so I know with some of them that they can be
05:32pushed to reach their potential a little bit more.
05:35Where is Lee?
05:37Just like Lee.
05:38Lee.
05:38Lee.
05:39Lee.
05:40Lee.
05:40Lee.
05:41Lee.
05:41Lee.
05:41Lee.
05:41Lee.
05:42Lee.
05:44Lee.
05:45Lee.
05:46Hi, everybody.
05:48Welcome back for season three of The Assembly.
05:53I'm taking it from that reaction, you're all very excited.
05:56Because we like you, you like us like none to us.
05:58Oh, that's nice.
05:59Tell me about what you've all been doing since I last saw you.
06:03Say weasel.
06:03I've learned how to make a short film.
06:05Great.
06:06How about you, Thomas?
06:08I've started a podcast.
06:10Fantastic.
06:11Ooooo!
06:12Fletcher, how about you?
06:13Well, I did my interview with the Wiggles.
06:16I saw that. Very, very good.
06:19What's the best part about being a Wiggle?
06:21The best thing about being a Wiggle,
06:22I think Fletcher is getting a chance to meet people like you.
06:26Did you enjoy it?
06:27Yes, I did.
06:28What were they like?
06:30Like, come straight out of TV.
06:34What about you, Bethany?
06:36I got to work at a festival, actually.
06:38I did that with Angus.
06:39And we got to invite people from the festival,
06:42like musicians, to come and sit in our morning show
06:45and ask some questions.
06:46Oh, how cool.
06:47So do we know what Angus is up to?
06:48Angus is working at Triple J.
06:50That's fantastic.
06:51That is so cool.
06:52All right, right, yes.
06:54Very exciting.
06:55I am so proud of all the incredible things
06:57that the students have done
06:58since they appeared on the Assembly.
07:00But more than that,
07:01I'm just so thrilled at watching their confidence develop.
07:04Would you like me to tell you
07:06who our first guest is going to be for this?
07:09He is one half of Australia's most famous
07:12comedy duo.
07:14He is a quiz master.
07:16He is an internationally successful author.
07:19Do you want to have a stab at guessing who it is, Thomas?
07:21Andy Lee.
07:23It is Andy Lee.
07:26Yes, Andy Lee.
07:29Good guess.
07:30What do you know about him, Thomas?
07:32The fact that he's done Do Not Open This Book.
07:34He's done The 100.
07:35We are back.
07:36A brand new season of The 100,
07:37only made possible by the people up there.
07:40He's from Hamish and Andy.
07:42He's done Gap here.
07:43Hello there.
07:44You promise me you'll see me down there?
07:46Yeah, I'll see you down there.
07:58He's also been nominated for Gold Logies and he has won a Logie with Hamish.
08:03Yeah, they're very, very popular.
08:05Well, we thought we'd give it a try.
08:07I would be blind and Hamish would be deaf for 50 hours.
08:10Guys, I just want to take this opportunity to tell you both that Hamish wipes his bum from
08:15the front.
08:17He does.
08:18He does.
08:18He does.
08:19Anastasia, you seem pretty excited about Andy.
08:21I was actually recently watching Do Not Watch The Show and I watched the first episode
08:26and I thought it was, like, really, really, really funny.
08:29How are you feeling, Wiz?
08:30No!
08:31Actually quite busy.
08:33This is the first person who made a cartoon show that's coming on the show.
08:39And I'm really excited to be talking about animation with him.
08:42I haven't got time for you today.
08:44Let's do it!
08:46Shall we split into our group?
08:47Let's do it!
08:48Let's split into our groups.
08:49All right.
08:56All righty.
08:57Let's start pairing our questions for Andy Lee.
09:01I've got to get my notebook out.
09:03Do I have a question about how he got banned from the Olympic Village?
09:06Hi!
09:08Hello, Babish Lee!
09:09Hello, Lee!
09:09I know you're all very excited about Andy.
09:12These questions I've come up with are very cheeky.
09:15Oh, okay.
09:16I like it when you're cheeky.
09:17I have done just a tiny bit of research on it.
09:21Is that tiny?
09:22That is...
09:23I researched that he's always checking in with his friends
09:26and maybe he may have had a friend that committed suicide or...
09:30Yeah, that's something.
09:32Good thinking.
09:32Coming back to the Assembly, I'm doing a lot more research.
09:36I'm not afraid to ask the hard questions.
09:39Yeah, that's a good question.
09:41Do we like Andy's comedy?
09:42I associate him and Hamish together.
09:48Yeah.
09:49What fascinates me about Andy is the whole comedy duo thing.
09:53I like Andy Lee a lot, but what I also find interesting about Andy Lee is he's often pushed
09:59behind Hamish and doesn't get the success that he probably deserves because he is a very funny guy.
10:07And he is funny.
10:08He is.
10:09Like, he can stand on his own two feet.
10:11He seems to have a love for Australian architecture if he bought that mansion he's doing up as well.
10:16Yeah.
10:16I think it was built 1874.
10:18Oh, that's interesting.
10:20Okay, Evie.
10:21I've written six.
10:22Good.
10:23I heard about Do Not Watch the Show and I didn't know he made it.
10:26I was like, oh, that was him?
10:27So then I was like, okay, I need to watch it now and I've watched it.
10:30I was like, oh my gosh.
10:31Did you like it?
10:32I loved it.
10:34One of my dreams is to be a voice actor and I also very love drawing, so I'm very excited
10:40to meet Andy Lee.
10:42All right, Thomas, what do you reckon?
10:44Okay.
10:44Are there any more Do Not Open This Book's in the works?
10:48And I've already put some suggestions.
10:51Do not open this book, I beg you.
10:53Do not open this book, now go away.
10:56Listen to me, do not open this book.
10:59Do not open this book or you'll be sorry.
11:02Do not be an idiot and do not open this book.
11:07I said for the last time, do not open this book.
11:11Can I just say they're amazing?
11:13They are so brilliant.
11:15I would publish every single one of those.
11:18Good work, gang.
11:19See you at the interview.
11:31Are you okay, Anastasia?
11:33Yeah, I'm doing fine.
11:33Just a bit nervous, that's all.
11:35We all get a bit nervous.
11:36I'm just hoping that Andy doesn't know me because right now I'm about to Andy flee.
11:40So do you know what I do sometimes before an interview if I'm getting a bit overwhelmed and a bit
11:44stressed?
11:44Just do some good deep breathing, okay?
11:46Yeah, I do that too.
11:47Let's do some box breathing, everyone together, okay?
11:49So in for four.
11:53Hold for four.
11:57Out for four.
12:00See how that calms you down?
12:05Hi.
12:06How are you, my friend?
12:08Friend to see you.
12:08Yeah, you too.
12:09Hello.
12:10Hello.
12:12Can I say I'm a big fan of your show?
12:15Even though you've been told not to watch them.
12:17Yes, even if I told not to watch.
12:21Hi there.
12:22I'm Andy.
12:23Ciao.
12:23Ciao.
12:24Good to see you.
12:24Nice to meet you.
12:25We watched the show.
12:27And the book.
12:27I didn't realise there's a bunch of rebels here.
12:31All right, Andrew, do you want to kick us off?
12:34Hello, Andy.
12:35I'm Andrew.
12:36Welcome.
12:37Hello, Andrew.
12:38This is a safe place.
12:40Everyone can relax and be themselves.
12:42There will be no judgement.
12:44Please do what you need to join in.
12:46For example, fidget, move, take a break, ask you if you need anything to help you to be included.
12:52Welcome, Andy.
12:53I feel very welcome.
12:54Thank you very much, Andrew.
12:56Savannah?
12:59Hello, Andy.
13:00Hey, Savannah.
13:01We are a collective of autistic journalism students, and we are very happy to have you join us today.
13:07I'm very happy to be here.
13:09Aw.
13:10Aw.
13:11Our rules are no subject is out of bounds.
13:14Maybe I'm not happy to be here.
13:18No, I am.
13:18I am.
13:18Sorry, Savannah.
13:19Sorry.
13:19Okay.
13:20Our rules are no subject is out of bounds, no question is off the table, and anything might happen.
13:28Welcome to the assembly.
13:30Thank you very much.
13:31How funny.
13:32Our first question is going to be from Fletcher.
13:35You have a lot of luck with the ladies, and now engaged.
13:39I am still looking for my first girlfriend.
13:41Do you remember your first girlfriend, and can you pass on any tips on how to get girls that are
13:45much better looking than you?
13:51Yes, I do have experience in dating people that are far more attractive than me.
13:56Thank you for pointing that out.
14:00To be honest, be yourself, Fletcher.
14:02The one thing that I find really interesting about dating and when I was single, people would be telling me
14:07what to do, and don't text her this day, but make sure you wait three days and do this.
14:12And I found that really hard and overwhelming.
14:16And so, as soon as I went back to just being myself, if I liked someone, I'd ask them out.
14:22If they said no, that's okay.
14:24I didn't waste time on it.
14:26So, I think being yourself, it's lovely when you find someone that's really compatible with you, and so that person
14:34will also come to you.
14:35Thank you, Andy.
14:36Thank you, Fletcher.
14:38Hey, Andy.
14:39I'm Finn.
14:40Hey, Finn.
14:40Were there any moments on the show, Hamish and Andy's Gap Here, when you were genuinely fearful of your life?
14:48Yeah.
14:49We went and jumped off a bridge in Bosnia.
14:51Oh, what?
14:53In a place called Mostar.
14:55And the bridge was 25 metres high.
14:58And I'm not particularly scared of heights.
15:01Hamish is, so I thought this would be...
15:02I organised this one.
15:04Oh, no, no, no.
15:05I jumped off first.
15:07It was extremely painful.
15:09I bruised every vertebrae in my back.
15:12But after I felt my pain, I was completely winded, and I got to the edge of the river, and
15:19I told the cameraman,
15:20Tell him not to jump.
15:22Tell him not to jump.
15:23Tell him not to jump.
15:25And the cameraman was kind of half not paying attention to me, because Hamish had already stepped over the rail.
15:30Yeah, that's the time I felt the most scared for my friend, and thought, we shouldn't be doing this.
15:37So, yeah, please, no one go and do that.
15:39We won't.
15:40We won't.
15:40And it's not like the books.
15:43It's like, do not do that, and you still do it.
15:44Okay, this one's a do not do that.
15:46Oliver.
15:48Hi, Andy.
15:49You and Hamish started on the same track.
15:52Fast forward to now.
15:53Hamish has a wife, two kids, and a calendar full of school pickups.
15:57You've got a fiancƩ, no kids, and a giant renovation project.
16:01Who's really winning at life?
16:03Me.
16:05Next question.
16:06No.
16:08It's an interesting thing to ask.
16:11Winning at life.
16:13It's completely down to the person and what makes them happy.
16:17I'm absolutely content with my fiancƩ and trying to build a house and my dog.
16:23But we always measure success by sometimes money or happiness and all those type of things.
16:30It's tough when it comes to power and money because I've got a friend of mine who just
16:34works nine to five, labouring, clocks off, goes to the pub, hangs out with his friends,
16:38has the best time, doesn't worry about work.
16:40And I actually think he's the most successful because he's winning life because it's exactly
16:44what he wants to do and he feels really content.
16:47So if you're content with what you're doing, I think you're winning life.
16:50Thank you very much.
16:52Abby, your go.
16:53Why did it take you forever to propose to Beck?
16:57Oh, Abby.
16:58Hey, you've got to do your proper due diligence, you know.
17:02Several references, background checks.
17:05I had several private investigators follow Beck for numerous years.
17:09She's gathered all the data to make sure she's the right one for me.
17:14The real reason is we were just having so much fun.
17:17I knew Beck was the one for me pretty early.
17:22But when you're having fun and you've got other things to do, it didn't quite feel like
17:26the right time.
17:28Certainly, we've both grown together and individually.
17:32And I think making a big life decision, whether it's marriage or any of those things, it's
17:37really nice to do it on a really stable footing when both people in the relationship are feeling
17:43really comfortable and really sure of themselves.
17:45And Beck and I had got to that place.
17:47So that's where I felt like it was the right time to get married.
17:50Well, I do love a good wedding.
17:55Was there a time when opening up to a friend made a real difference in your life?
18:00Yeah.
18:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:03It's, um, I think we can carry things quite heavy at times.
18:08And this one, this came to me because I was carrying something quite heavy.
18:15And I did go and seek therapy.
18:16I sought counselling for that.
18:18Um, and when I was younger, I was like, counselling's for wusses.
18:23What's all that about?
18:24I really didn't believe, yeah, that was the, not, not the, that was not the way that I kind
18:29of viewed the world.
18:29And as I got older and realised that I was troubling, uh, being troubled, I felt I really
18:35have to turn to someone.
18:37Talking to a therapist, they just said, you need to tell more people about this.
18:43And when people say that saying, a problem shared is a problem halved, there is a truth
18:47to that.
18:48I think it's really important that you can feel a sense of relief, but also you can gather
18:53intel on how you might find a solution when, when you share these type of problems.
18:58So, yeah, that was really helpful.
19:00Well, I think it's really important to have friends.
19:04Absolutely.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Savannah, have you ever been arrested?
19:08I've gone, I've gone, I've gone to jail.
19:12I haven't been arrested.
19:15I have been put in the back of a divvy van though.
19:18What's a divvy van?
19:19A divvy van is the, uh, the police car that looks like a nice station wagon.
19:24But instead of the back of it where you put your surfboards and your dog sometimes, they
19:28put the criminals.
19:28So it's not a nice place to be.
19:30And it's a cage inside that.
19:31And I was involved in a pub fight when I was 19 years old.
19:38And, uh, the police came and they grabbed me and they put me in the back of a divvy van.
19:44So I was scared.
19:45And I thought, am I going to end up in jail?
19:48It's, where does this, where does this go from here?
19:51Um, but thankfully, after everything had calmed down, they, they let me out and, uh, and I
19:56got to go home.
19:57Thank you, Andy.
19:59Willow.
20:03Mine is Willow.
20:04Hello, Willow.
20:04You lost your tooth during an ice cream incident.
20:07You had to have a cow bone screwed to your, into your teeth.
20:11Does that make you feel weird when you eat steak?
20:15Sorry.
20:18Well, I've never thought about that.
20:20I mean, I might, I might feel weird now.
20:22And I'll be thinking, I'll be thinking of you every time I have a steak.
20:27The steaks are getting high.
20:32So, yes, I lost, these are, these two front teeth are fake.
20:36Yeah.
20:37They came, I smashed them playing ice hockey with Hamish.
20:40So I had to have them taken out.
20:43And I've got a titanium tooth in.
20:45They screw it in.
20:46With cow bones.
20:47And then they had to rebuild my jawline with cow bone.
20:50You're right, Willow.
20:51So they used cow bone and they layer the bone in there and that moulds to my bone.
20:55But I wondered whether I'm now a half man, half cow.
20:59You know, I do sleep standing up and I get scared of lightning.
21:04So, yeah, but no, the steak thing, I'll think of you every time now.
21:08Oh, no, I'm going to, thank you.
21:12Thank you, thank you, Willow.
21:13Here, take care of us.
21:15All right.
21:15Hello, Andy.
21:16Hello, Andy.
21:17I'm Anastasia.
21:18Lovely to meet you.
21:19All right.
21:20When we interviewed Hamish on this area, I asked him, what are the pros and cons about you?
21:27Oh.
21:28And he was actually really honest, so.
21:31Oh, no.
21:31Oh, yeah.
21:33Yeah, you already know what's coming.
21:35So, let's go the opposite way now.
21:38What are the pros and cons about Hamish?
21:41Right.
21:42I'll start with the pros.
21:45I mean, he's so funny.
21:47But beyond funniness, he's an amazing friend.
21:51So, I always felt that we're going to be on great adventures.
21:54And when you catch up with Haim, you know something fun is going to happen.
21:59And they're the best type of friends for me, you know, when you can go and have fun.
22:02And it's not saying that every friend has to be this outrageously funny, adventurous person.
22:07But that's what draws me to Haim.
22:09And I just never get sick of him.
22:12Cons.
22:13Here's the list I prepared earlier.
22:18He knew this was coming, so he came prepared.
22:22Hamish, as he puts it himself, is fast and loose.
22:26So, he's very unpredictable at times, which makes him a lot of fun.
22:30But also, you can be left going, where is he?
22:33Is he coming?
22:35No one knows.
22:36I remember one day we were meant to be writing because we were hosting an awards ceremony.
22:40And I'm sitting at the cafe.
22:42And ten minutes goes past.
22:44And I'm thinking, oh, yeah, that's normally about the time.
22:46He's late.
22:47He's always late.
22:48And I'm like, 15 minutes, better call him, maybe he hasn't forgotten.
22:52And I called him.
22:54And he picks up the phone and just says, do you think we need a radar gun?
22:59And I said, what?
23:00What are you talking about?
23:01He said, I'm at the cricket shop.
23:03It could be fun for us to see how fast we're bowling.
23:08Now, neither of us really play cricket.
23:10But this is the impulse nature of Haim.
23:13He gets on the scent of something like an excitable dog, hound, and off he goes.
23:18And it normally follows fun and adventure.
23:20So, his con is also I've benefited from many, many times.
23:25Okay, my next question is, what is your advice to someone who wants to be a voice actor?
23:30Try different voices.
23:32Definitely.
23:33Like this one?
23:34Pikachu!
23:35Yes.
23:36But when you're doing it, always stand up.
23:40All right.
23:40Unless the character's sitting.
23:43But make sure you express.
23:45Like, people always think that they're going to be in there and they're just talking to
23:47a microphone doing this.
23:48That's true.
23:49You have to go like crazy and be like, do not even watch this show!
23:53That's exactly right.
23:54You will sound much better if you're really expressive.
23:57So, if I'm doing whiz, I'm always sitting there.
24:00I always go long and round.
24:02Because that's how I try and get in there.
24:04Long and round.
24:04There you go.
24:05And then I'll go, no, you shouldn't be watching!
24:09And I speak with my arms.
24:11Like, wow, that's not entirely true.
24:15That's right.
24:16So, be really expressive.
24:17And if you're meant to be pulling something, like pulling a door, we have rubber bands
24:21in there, like big rubbers.
24:21And I go, yeah, yeah.
24:22And they're like, yeah.
24:23Yeah.
24:24And so, you can make all those sounds.
24:26So, enjoy it when you get in there.
24:28Because you're very good at voices.
24:30Next question is, whiz would normally lie to the audience in Do Not Open This Book and
24:36Do Not Watch This Show.
24:37So, what is the biggest lie you have told and does it affect you to this day?
24:43Oh.
24:46There are some lies I've told that I won't tell you today.
24:50And I know we're meant to share everything.
24:51Don't worry.
24:52But they generally involve holding a secret for someone else and someone that might have
25:01been in trouble.
25:03And there are times that you can hold onto that for too long and then someone does the
25:08wrong thing.
25:09Wow.
25:10And so, if someone is in trouble, sorry, you don't always have to hold it on and pretend
25:19to everyone else that it's fine.
25:25Do you want some tissues or anything, Andy?
25:27Yeah, sorry, one second.
25:28The tissue girl is back again.
25:29Oh, well.
25:30The tissue girl.
25:31Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
25:36This one used?
25:37Um, no, it's not used.
25:38I'll get them second hand, eh?
25:42Hello, Andy, I'm Andrew.
25:45Your book is titled Don't Open This Book.
25:48Did it ever cross your mind that some kids, especially autistic kids, might literally follow
25:53instructions and never open it?
25:56I have seen some children too scared to open it.
26:00Yes.
26:01Or they're just very obedient.
26:03And then there's normally a teacher there or a parent that can help them and encourage
26:09them to take that risk.
26:11Oh, good.
26:12Uh, but yes, it's been a book that I didn't realise would resonate with people with autism
26:18as much as it has.
26:19Yes.
26:19Uh, I've had schools from all over the world reach out to me, autistic schools from all
26:24over the world reach out to me, saying that the book really resonates with the class.
26:28Oh, thank you, Andy.
26:30Dale, you're next.
26:32Hi, Andy.
26:32Hey, Dale.
26:33Good to meet you.
26:34You and Hamish actually snuck into the Olympic Village in 2012 and got banned for life,
26:38which is pretty legendary.
26:40If you could sneak into any global event today just for the jokes and banter, which event
26:44would it be and what would you do once inside?
26:46Ooh.
26:47Oh, wow.
26:50I would have loved to go to the King's coronation.
26:55Worn an uppity suit, maybe a top hat.
26:58But the real question is, what would you do inside?
27:00Well, I would have had to use Wiz's voice, I reckon, just to kind of fit in.
27:08I would have had a good time sniggering at people thinking they're more important than
27:13they are or something like that.
27:14Awesome.
27:15Thank you, Dale.
27:16Do you want to pass along to Mitch?
27:18Um, what were your original plans before becoming a comedian?
27:22I wanted to be an accountant.
27:25Really?
27:27Yeah.
27:28Wow.
27:28So I love numbers.
27:30I love spreadsheets.
27:31Um, and I love schedules.
27:34Uh, there was one incident, Mitch, that made me change my mind.
27:37I was finishing year 12 and I was going to do some accounting work for the Good Guys Electrical
27:43Company.
27:44So I went and worked there and I spent three days cancelling cheques instead of presenting
27:50them accidentally and I cancelled $80 million worth of cheques.
27:54Oh, no.
27:55And back then, we only backed up our system once a week and it was for the whole company.
28:03So they found out about lunchtime on a Wednesday.
28:06Everyone at the company had to do all the work that they'd done for Monday, Tuesday and
28:09a half of Wednesday again.
28:10And I didn't feel great about that.
28:13I quit.
28:14Oh, no.
28:15I went and had a summer, which I probably should have been doing anyway.
28:18And I went into university and changed it to marketing and brand management.
28:22And somehow you landed in comedy.
28:24That's right.
28:24Yeah.
28:25Alright.
28:26Um, your mum had a near-death experience.
28:29Do you think your mum is a fighter and are you proud of her?
28:33Um, yeah, my mum was given two weeks to live in 1996.
28:37And she's still here.
28:39So, that's annoying.
28:40Um, no.
28:42You're like, gosh.
28:44Uh, it was, it was, it was tough.
28:47It was a tough time.
28:47I was 15.
28:49Um, my mum forgot how to walk, how to talk, who we all were.
28:51Uh, so every day after school I'd reintroduce myself cause she wouldn't even remember from
28:55the day before.
28:57You know, mum was the first to survive it in Australia.
28:59Cerebral vasculitis is the name of her.
29:01Please.
29:02Um, and it's like a mini, mini strokes.
29:05Um, you can't have it in the body but mum had it in the brain.
29:08Oh.
29:09Um, when mum came back home, that was hard because she got a culture shock.
29:16I was, I'm a mummy's boy still but I was a mummy's boy and she'd be making my lunch
29:20before I go to school and all these things and we'd all become self-sufficient.
29:23Mm.
29:24And then mum was quite confused that we were just self-sufficient and then wanted to go
29:29back.
29:29So she didn't want to live with us for a little bit.
29:32I found that the hardest and I was angry with her, which it can be.
29:36We've gone, we've gone through all this and you don't even want to be with us.
29:39But realising that that must have been such a shock to the system.
29:42She doesn't really remember much of the four to six months she was in hospital.
29:45Mm.
29:45So to go in and then just kind of being transported six months into the future with no recollection
29:50of what's happening around you, that was the part that was tough for her.
29:53And I understand that now but I, I found that the hardest part of it at the time.
29:58So you reckon she's a fighter?
30:00She's absolutely a fighter.
30:02Um, I'm proud of mum and proud that she's still going.
30:05That's great.
30:06Thanks Andy.
30:07Thanks Mitch.
30:08Right.
30:09Hi Andy, my name's Daniel or Dan.
30:11Hey Dan.
30:12I love huskies and I rescued a husky called Spike.
30:16My question is, do you like huskies?
30:18And if you don't, I hate you and bye, get out of here.
30:26Dan.
30:27Yeah.
30:27I've got bad news for you.
30:29I love my fluffy dog.
30:32But I've got a reason why.
30:33Don't tell me you don't love that fluffy snow dog.
30:36I've got, I've got a, I've got a reason why Dan.
30:38So, cause I'm a bit traumatised.
30:41Okay.
30:42Okay.
30:42Yeah.
30:43Hamish and I flew to a glacier in Alaska and we met all the husky snow dogs.
30:51Yeah.
30:51And then Hamish's surprise had bought me a suit entirely made out of meat.
30:56And he organised a race between me and 12 huskies.
31:04So, I was running through the snow as 12 huskies came for me.
31:07I didn't make it to the finish line and they all got me and ate me.
31:12All right.
31:13Thank you, Daniel.
31:14Ciao.
31:15It's your turn.
31:15Um, someone once said, um, no one is just one thing, right?
31:20That's true.
31:21As being part of a very famous comedy duo, um, how did you feel when you're boxed into
31:27being described to be the straight man of the two of us?
31:30Certainly I had my own worries about, do I exist without Hamish?
31:36When we're doing something so strong, uh, together, and I think the world of the way he performs,
31:43if I'm without him, what am I?
31:47Uh, am I good enough?
31:48We encouraged each other from a very early, uh, very early on to go and do things individually,
31:55and you'd learn from that and you'd come back and tell the other person.
31:58Um, but yeah, it, I'd be lying to say that I was, wasn't nervous when I went out on my
32:08own
32:08to do my own things, because I, because Hamish is a safety blanket.
32:13I have to work much harder when I'm not around him.
32:17Oh, regretting the leather pants, every time I go to move it's...
32:21They look cool though, so don't, don't regret them.
32:24Thank you so much.
32:25Taking advantage of being Cleo's Bachelor of the Year, would you ever use your looks to star in a movie?
32:32Oh, you know what?
32:35Thank you, but that was 20 years ago, so I think this is, this has all changed a bit.
32:38But, um, it's one of the main reasons I write and create all my own things, because I tried out
32:45for lots of things and no one put me anything.
32:47Um, I found it hard to be picked.
32:50You know, I'd go for things and, and people thought there was a better option.
32:55And so instead of continually going down that path and just hoping that I might get picked for something,
33:02I just thought, okay, I'll try and take destiny into my own hands here and I'll write things and put
33:07myself in them and see how they float.
33:09Yeah, nice.
33:10Yeah, if they don't open up the doors for you, create your own house and doors.
33:12That's exactly right. So maybe I have to write my own film.
33:15That's awesome. Thank you so much.
33:17Thomas.
33:19So, um, so you spoke earlier about, um, your mother's, um, diagnosis.
33:25But not just that, there was also the possibility that you could have died when you were a baby after
33:31you were diagnosed with, um, something.
33:35Epiglottitis.
33:35Epicalitis.
33:36What was your reaction when you first learned about that?
33:40The story I heard from my dad, which was sad, was they were rushing to the hospital and, uh, and
33:50I couldn't breathe at all.
33:52So I was going blue in the back and, and he got pulled over by the police.
33:57And dad said to the officer, hey, look, my, my son's dying, thinking that the policeman might help and, and
34:04give us away.
34:06And the policeman said, well, he's not dead yet, and went on to write up a ticket.
34:11And so I loved just, you know, I'm all for our service people and the police and so on.
34:16But this was a singular moment where I was like, that, that's a shame that that happened.
34:19And that was more troubling to, to think about.
34:24Um, and then, I mean, I was, I think one, but the other sad part of it was a lady
34:31up the road in the street we grew up in.
34:33Her kid didn't make it, had the same thing and didn't make it.
34:36So mum found it really difficult to be walking the pram with me and for a long time just walked
34:43down the street instead of up.
34:44So it's, it's, it's sad that these little things can happen.
34:47I was very lucky, but also being very mindful that lots of people aren't.
34:51I see.
34:55All right.
34:56Hello, Andy.
34:57I'm Pat.
34:58Nice to, nice to be here.
34:59Nice to be here.
35:01Now, I've read a lot about your impressive Ravenswood mansion, but as a bird enthusiast, I'm curious to know, what
35:07do you think of the ravens that live around Ravenswood?
35:10Oh, I see the ravens.
35:12I'm fond of the ravens.
35:13Mmm.
35:13Not as fond of the pigeons.
35:15They keep coming in and pooing all over the place.
35:16Yes.
35:17So I need to work that out.
35:18We're working with regeneration, um, environmentalists to get the right plants in and we're seeing birds already come back, which
35:25is incredible.
35:26So, um, hopefully the place is less about the house and more about the environment once we almost settle in
35:34there.
35:34That's great.
35:35And I'm glad you like the ravens because most Australians don't.
35:38Yeah.
35:38You're like probably the 2% that do.
35:40No, I like a raven.
35:42Yes.
35:43Pat, will you pass along to Evie?
35:45Yes.
35:45Uh, uh, cartoons have had a huge impact on me.
35:54They are like oxygen.
35:57Since you have a cartoon show now, I was wondering what are your favourite cartoons and did any of them
36:03have an influence on you?
36:06Oh.
36:07Yes.
36:08Great question.
36:09I mean, I loved The Simpsons growing up.
36:12The classics!
36:13They're classic.
36:15Um, Roger Ramjet and Mighty Mouse when I was a lot littler.
36:18Oh, wow.
36:19Um, you know, uh, all, like, Walt Disney, um, The Sorcerer's Apprentice.
36:26There's, my favourite cartoon of all time was Robin Hood.
36:31Have you seen the one with all the, where the fox plays Robin Hood?
36:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:35I've seen that.
36:36That was my favourite of all time.
36:39I used to watch it over and over and over again.
36:42I also did something for you.
36:45Oh, wow!
36:47Oh, listen, Douglas!
36:48Because I, um, I, um, recently watched Do Not Watch This Show and it is literally everything I've loved about
36:53cartoons.
36:54Just the, the wit and the writing and the animation and just the voice acting.
36:59Just, I love everything about it and I really wanted, and I really want to be in the industry.
37:03So I just wanted to show my love for it.
37:06Oh, Evie, that's fantastic.
37:08Well, we operate out of Melbourne, but if you're ever down there, please reach out.
37:13Yeah.
37:13And I'll bring you into the studio.
37:16And, like what you've done here, everything is hand-drawn.
37:21So, that's why it takes so long.
37:23I didn't realise this.
37:24I'm in heaven, walking amongst them and seeing what they're doing.
37:27So you'll have to come and visit.
37:30Thanks, Evie.
37:31Silas.
37:32Is there a question you've always wanted to ask somebody but never had the chance?
37:37Oh.
37:38Yeah, generally those ones come to like, I wish I'd asked my grandparents more things.
37:45That's the one that sits with me.
37:47You kind of end up being babysat by them and they just spoil you and it's all about you.
37:51Which is great, that's what being a grandparent is about.
37:55But when I look back, I would have loved to have just showed an interest in them rather
37:58of being all about me.
38:00I do that with my parents now, just spend as much time in asking them the questions.
38:05Yeah.
38:07Thanks, Silas.
38:08Um, James.
38:09Hi, Andy.
38:09Hey, James.
38:10What is one trait you admire in others?
38:14Um, I really admire people's courage.
38:16And that's not when we talk about being in the front of an army, you know, running into
38:21battle with a sword.
38:22There's so many courageous things you can do.
38:25And I think the main one for me is when people stand up for what they believe in.
38:30Um, even when, and it could just be a singular moment where someone's saying something that's
38:36not quite right.
38:37I do admire when people call that behaviour out in a pleasant way, not combative.
38:42And, and just are really true to their beliefs.
38:44I think that's, that takes courage.
38:46Well, Andy, it was very courageous you coming on the show today.
38:50So I, I admire the gusto.
38:52And gusto to you.
38:55Okay, okay.
38:57Andy, thank you so much for taking your time and coming on the show.
39:02How ever.
39:03Oh, gosh.
39:04Yeah, before you get your butt off the seat.
39:08We have a little bit of a challenge for you.
39:10We're going to do a try not to react challenge right here, right now.
39:15No laughing, no giggling, and no smiling.
39:20I'm going to find this so hard.
39:22If you lose, you get nothing.
39:24If you win, you also get nothing.
39:28I didn't know the stakes would be this high.
39:32James is going to be going first.
39:34Does Andy need his eyes shut, or is he good?
39:36Uh, yeah, close your eyes, Andy.
39:38Okay, open.
39:40Andy Lee, I don't know him, I've never met him, but I hear he's not very talented.
39:45You know, Hamish won all the gold.
39:47I love the gold, but Andy, you know, I'm going to check Fort Knox.
39:51He's no talent, but I don't know him.
39:55So far that is zero to Andy, and one to the students of the assembly.
40:01Okay.
40:02Croaky, guys.
40:03Usually I'm out in the wild, and I find live critters to show you,
40:06but today I've actually found a fossil.
40:09Now this is...
40:12And you can actually see here and tell his age by these lines
40:16in the fossil where he's crystal.
40:20Well done.
40:22Oh, gosh.
40:23Okay, now I think it's going to get harder for you guys as it goes through,
40:26because now I'm understanding what I need to do.
40:29Mm. All right.
40:46I got wrong about it being harder.
40:49What birds do you think those were?
40:51Oh, they were birds?
40:52Mm.
40:52Sheep is none that I want to meet.
40:54I hate that!
40:56Well...
40:56Baby Channel Bill Cuckoo.
40:58Okay.
40:58Baby Galar.
40:59Mm.
40:59Adult Australian Raven.
41:01Ah, yes.
41:02I had it pitched as more of a teenage raven.
41:04Yeah, well done.
41:05They're pretty whiny, even when they're grown up.
41:08Um, Andy, close your eyes.
41:11Savannah's up next.
41:13Oh, my God!
41:15Oh, my God!
41:15Oh, my God!
41:18Please stand up for me.
41:23Oh, my God!
41:27Oh, my God!
41:31Oh, my God!
41:31Just open your eyes now, Andy.
41:38Do you want a carrot?
41:48I absolutely loved it.
41:49Thanks, guys.
41:50Well done.
41:54Well done, Thomas.
41:56It was fantastic.
41:58So if you do get down to Melbourne, come and visit, eh?
42:00Oh, yes.
42:01Yeah, awesome.
42:03You are hilarious.
42:05You are so great.
42:06Oh, thank you.
42:08It was one of the best days I've ever had in my life.
42:12Oh, yes, you sit right next to me.
42:15Just here.
42:16No, no, no.
42:17Right there.
42:17Right there.
42:18Next to me.
42:18Right there.
42:19Right there, Andy.
42:20Right there.
42:21Look at the camera.
42:23The Assembly.
42:24The Assembly!
42:28Thank you, Andy.
42:29I had a great time interviewing you.
42:31I had a great time.
42:31Wow.
42:32You guys are very good at interviewing.
42:34Our next guest is a very well-known Australian actor and producer.
42:38It is Claudia Carvin.
42:40Oh!
42:41Oh, my God, she's here.
42:44Hello.
42:45Hello.
42:46How has growing up around nightclubs shaped your opinion on recreational drug use?
42:50Oh, no.
42:51That's a really odd one.
42:53I heard you don't like kissing while acting, but you still do it so many times.
42:57Do you see a space for yourself in politics?
43:00Lee Stiles has put me off being a politician.
43:02Yeah, he is a gentler.
43:04He he he!
43:04Why are youoi amiI?
43:06He he he.
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