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00:20Hey, Jimmy Jr.
00:21Hey, Shana.
00:22Are you excited for the 8th grade academic improvement reward field trip?
00:25You better believe it.
00:26I developed better study skills this semester and I'm ready to be rewarded with a field
00:30trip.
00:31And it's so cool that it's at that indoor rock climbing place vertically challenged.
00:35Yeah, I looked it up.
00:36You get a partner and one person belays while the other person climbs.
00:39And the belayer stands underneath the climber and holds a rope and just makes sure everything's
00:44safe up there in the harness area.
00:46So want to be belay buddies?
00:48Uh, oh, okay.
00:50Yes!
00:50I've been doing pull-ups to get ready.
00:52Working on those biceps and trapeziuses.
00:54Man, I hope the harness is comfortable.
00:57I did ziplining last summer and the harness was super tight.
01:00Mm-hmm.
01:00Mm-hmm.
01:01Well, I gotta go meet Z.
01:03He found a sponge and we're gonna go kick it around.
01:05Okay.
01:06See you belay-der.
01:07Just gotta keep that 2.8 GPA to be eligible for the field trip.
01:11You mean like metaphorically?
01:13No.
01:13Like a 2.8 grade point average.
01:16Oh, okay.
01:17Do I have a 2.8 grade point average?
01:20No.
01:20Did you think you had a 2.8 grade point average?
01:23I don't know.
01:24Jimmy Jr. has one.
01:25He's developed very strong study skills this semester.
01:28Yeah, I've heard.
01:29Sorry.
01:30So I just need to zhuzh my old GPA up a few notches.
01:33Um, I was hoping I could maybe sign up for one of those super cool easy classes.
01:37I think they're called electives.
01:39You know, less taxing, more chillaxing.
01:42Wink, wink.
01:43Yeah, I think Peter Pescadero got an A in robotics for taping a battery to a cup.
01:47Okay.
01:48What about typing?
01:50Typing?
01:50Mr. Grant teaches typing. The new term started this week, but I can still sign you up.
01:55My fingers have tickled a few keyboards in their day. Let's do it.
01:57You want to go to that indoor climbing gym. I get it.
02:00There's nothing like being 12 feet off the ground to make you feel like you're 20 feet
02:04off the ground.
02:06I'm kind of excited about the belay thing.
02:07She wants to look up at Jimmy Jr.'s butt and kind of control it with a rope.
02:11Like it's a float at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
02:15Hey, Teddy.
02:16Hi, Teddy.
02:16Hey, guys. I'll have a burger of the day and extra fries.
02:20Extra fries? Check you out.
02:22Yeah, I just landed a big job. I'm custom building a high-end grill for this rich guy's outdoor kitchen.
02:27A grill? Really? What kind?
02:29A gaucho grill.
02:30Wait, seriously? You're building an Argentinian gaucho grill? That's like my dream grill.
02:34I thought I was your dream grill. Ha!
02:36Yeah, the rich guy, Elliot. He's super into Argentinian cooking.
02:40He's actually on some sort of food pilgrimage in Patagonia right now.
02:43I'm working while he's gone.
02:44Wait, Teddy. Do you know how to build a gaucho grill?
02:46I mean, how hard can it be? It's a grill, right? And then you slap some Argentina on it.
02:51No, Teddy. You gotta have a firebox. You gotta have an adjustable grill grate
02:55so you can control the distance between the meat and the flame.
02:58Whoa, Bob. Slow down. I don't speak grill nerd.
03:00Ha! He is a grill nerd.
03:02It's just it's more complicated than some normal backyard barbecue. It needs to be done right.
03:07Hey, it's more complicated. That's you, Bob.
03:11It needs to be done right.
03:14I don't like either of you.
03:15The Constitution. Romeo and Juliet. The Bible. Ever heard of them?
03:21Well, they were all typed on computer keyboards.
03:23Wait, what?
03:25Everyone in this classroom has the ability to type, but right now your fingers are clay.
03:29I will mold that clay. And I swear to God and QWERTY that by the end of this term,
03:35you will be typing up to 45 WPM.
03:39WPM?
03:39Words per minute.
03:40How fast do I type? Sorry, I thought someone asked how fast I type.
03:44The answer? 110 WPM. I guess that's why it's on a certificate over there on the wall.
03:49I won a typing competition. Fastest 13-year-old in the county that year. No big deal.
03:54Except that it was a huge deal. Yeah.
03:57Now place your fingers of the index variety on F and J. Just feel for the keys with the little
04:02bumps.
04:03Ew.
04:03Oh, wow. I've always wondered about those bumps. I thought maybe they were the keyboard's nipples,
04:07which now that I say it seems wrong.
04:09Okay, so your fingers are on the home row. The home row is the cornerstone of learning to type.
04:15Keeps us oriented. It keeps us safe. You lose the home row, you're in the wilderness.
04:19Cold. Alone. Waiting for death's sweet kiss.
04:23Okay, let's hit return to load your first prompt.
04:28Sheila went to the store.
04:34Wow, this is taking forever. What if I just type how I always type? Take a quick vacation from home
04:40row?
04:41Now Sheila can get where she needs to go. Wow, Tina, you're fast. I can't even find the O.
04:46Is that it? Is that it? Fine, I'm just gonna use the Q.
04:50Uh, Tina? What's happening here? Your fingers are all over the place. It's like a muppet playing piano.
04:57I know, but this has been kind of working for me. You appear to be typing at 50 WPM, but
05:01I don't even
05:02understand what I'm looking at. Just go to the home row. Go home. Go home now.
05:06Or I just... boom.
05:08Ugh. Where are the emojis on this?
05:11Okay, Mom, I typed up your grocery list. All right.
05:15Gene, I'm gonna print out that letter to Michael McDonald that you had me type up asking him what a
05:19doobie is.
05:19We'll get to the bottom of this. Anybody else need anything typed?
05:22Can you crap out a paper on photosynthesis real quick?
05:25No, Louise. Fine. I guess I'll do my homework like an idiot.
05:30Boy, that class has got you typing up a storm.
05:32I know. I'm in the zone. And I'm kind of the fastest one in there. So yeah, I'm gonna get
05:37that easy A,
05:38which means I'm also gonna get to see a belay full of B.
05:41Hmm. Jimmy Jr's butt.
05:42Yep, got it. Hello?
05:44Bob, I finished the gaucho grill. I did everything they said to do online,
05:48but I don't know if I built it right. Can you come over tomorrow and check and look?
05:51Oh, now you want my help?
05:52Yes, please.
05:54Uh, I don't know if I want to.
05:55What?
05:55Yeah, maybe I'm busy with my cool life.
05:59Come on. I'm sorry I called you a grill nerd. Just come over, Bob. I need you.
06:04Okay, fine.
06:05Great. I knew you would, nerd.
06:08So, how's it look?
06:09Hmm.
06:10Hmm? What's hmm about it?
06:12It just seems like the lowest level for the grill grate is still too far from the embers.
06:16Oh, no. No, no, no. I can't lose this job, Bob.
06:20Rich people make great clients because of all the money they have.
06:23Uh, okay. I can help. We can do this.
06:25We're gonna fix all his mistakes and make you perfect.
06:28Bob, please don't talk about me to the grill.
06:30He doesn't understand you and he never will.
06:33Cut it out, Bob. Don't listen to him, grill. You were my friend first.
06:38Hey, belay buddy.
06:39Hi, Tina.
06:40Yeah, you are.
06:41What?
06:41You know it.
06:42Well, look at Tina, having witty banter in the hallway with my belay buddy, rocking that A in typing class.
06:48Now, nothing can come between me and a harness full of hiney.
06:51I mean, I definitely have an A in typing, right?
06:53No, you're not getting an A, Tina.
06:55What? But I'm the fastest typer in here.
06:57I'm pulling down 75 WPMs.
06:59Yes, your bizarre and somewhat grotesque finger waggling seems to work somehow,
07:03but I can't in good conscience give you an A.
07:06You're not learning to type the way you should.
07:08You're a street typer, and frankly, it's disgusting.
07:11Okay, fine.
07:12If it'll get me an A, I'll use the home row.
07:13See? Typing so fast.
07:20Yeah, never mind.
07:20My fingers hate this.
07:21Ugh, Mr. Grant, I need an A so I can have a 2.8 great point average so I can
07:25go on the field
07:25trip to vertically challenged.
07:26I wish those words meant anything at all to me, but they just don't.
07:30Listen, my job is to help you not type like a psycho.
07:34It doesn't seem fair.
07:35If I'm fast, it shouldn't matter how I do it.
07:37Okay, what if, uh, what if I can type that fast?
07:40A hundred and ten words per minute?
07:43Yeah, then would you give me an A so I can go on the trip?
07:45Tina, I'm glad you got big dreams, even when those dreams are ridiculously stupid.
07:50So, sure, I'll give you an A if you can hit 110 WPM.
07:54Yes.
07:55Mr. Grant, my mom wrote me a note.
07:57I can't type today.
07:58I have type one finger beaties.
08:00It looks like my handwriting, but it's not.
08:06Definitely should try cherry wood.
08:08A true temple of me deserves the best.
08:11Are you talking about your underwear, dad?
08:13He's texting with Teddy.
08:15Can't wait to throw some beef in there.
08:18Dad's texted Teddy if taking a turn.
08:21Ah, 80 WPMs.
08:22Still not fast enough.
08:23Hey, T, you think we can borrow those fast little fingers of yours to,
08:26I don't know, do restaurant stuff?
08:28It's called a work ethic.
08:29Heard of it?
08:30Because Gene and I are all about it!
08:32Yeah!
08:33Sorry, I can't.
08:34I've only got a week to hit 110 words per minute if I want to go to vertically challenged and,
08:38uh, you know.
08:39See Jimmy Jr.'s butt in a harness.
08:41Yes, we know.
08:41Dad, I was going to say get to do some fun indoor climbing.
08:44Oh, sorry.
08:46And also, yeah, see that butt.
08:47Mm-hmm.
08:47110 words per minute, you're doing it there, that's how you win it.
08:55110 WPMs, I did it!
09:06What the, I mean, good!
09:08Good for you!
09:09Wow, Tina typed so fast.
09:12She doesn't even type the way you showed us.
09:15It's like everything you taught us doesn't matter at all.
09:17Maybe Tina should teach the class.
09:20She kind of looks like an old lady already anyway.
09:22Thanks, Jocelyn.
09:23The last part I didn't like, but...
09:25Mr. Grant, your face is weird.
09:28Are you pooping?
09:29I'm not pooping, Jocelyn.
09:32So I get the A right?
09:33I can go on the field trip on Friday?
09:35You can go.
09:36Yes!
09:37Mr. Grant, just go to the bathroom.
09:39You're going to have an accident and it's going to be a real distraction.
09:43Wow, it turned out great.
09:45We made something beautiful, didn't we, Teddy?
09:47We sure did, Bob.
09:48Linda, I'm glad you could come too, even though you didn't help at all.
09:51Well, I wasn't about to work at the restaurant while you two beef boys had to test out the grill
09:55party.
09:56I was only going to be gone a couple hours.
09:57Also, it's not a party, Lin.
09:59Just because I brought really good meat.
10:02And wine.
10:02And the perfect pineapple.
10:04Ed Toons!
10:05Bluetooth is a go!
10:20All right, that A in typing got you your 2.8!
10:24Yay!
10:25Tina's going to be the first person in our family to graduate eighth grade.
10:28And I'm making a note in the system that you will be absent from class to attend the vertically challenged
10:33field trip on Friday.
10:34Yep, I'll be busy belaying my buddy.
10:36Uh-huh.
10:37Okay, bye.
10:37Hmm, that's odd.
10:39What?
10:40Someone put another note in here for something on Friday.
10:42Is it to remember not to come to school on Saturday and Sunday?
10:46A mandatory typing test has been scheduled for Friday at the exact same time they'll be loading up the bus
10:51for the field trip.
10:52A mandatory typing test?
10:54It says anyone who misses this test will get an automatic F, which could drop some people's GPA below 2
10:59.8, rendering them field trip ineligible.
11:01Well, that's specific.
11:03What?!
11:03I'm gonna go all caps on his ass!
11:07You!
11:07Me?
11:08Me what?
11:09You know what?
11:10I'm just going into the faculty lounge so I can enjoy my posture from last night and the night before.
11:15Don't try to impress us with what you eat for lunch!
11:18What's this BS about a mandatory typing test at the same time as we're loading the bus for the field
11:22trip?
11:22Oh, that!
11:24Right.
11:24Well, it just felt like a good time for a mandatory test, that's all.
11:28But I deserve to go on that field trip.
11:30I worked hard for that A.
11:31Yeah, which is not something we usually do, pal.
11:33Look, if you refuse to learn the home row method, then you'll never be a great typer.
11:38Or succeed at anything at all, ever.
11:41I'm as good a typer as you when you were my age.
11:43I bet I'm even a better typer than you now.
11:47That's hilarious, Tina.
11:49You are not a better typer than me.
11:51Yes, I am.
11:53Well, maybe the only way to settle this is a typing battle.
11:56Huh?
11:57A typing battle?
11:58After school.
11:59Tina versus Mr. Grant.
12:00Student versus teacher.
12:02Teen girl versus late 50s man.
12:05How dare you?
12:05Look, I can't have a typing battle with a student.
12:08We're supposed to help students, not demolish them and leave them in a puddle of their own blood.
12:13He's scared.
12:14I'm not scared.
12:15Scared of typing battles?
12:16Scared of intimacy?
12:17I'm not scared of either of those things.
12:19Well, half scared of one.
12:21Then say yes.
12:22If I win, there's no typing test on Friday.
12:24And if you lose, which you will...
12:26I guess you get the pride of having beaten a child at something.
12:29How about if you lose, there's still a test on Friday,
12:32and you have to clean every single keyboard and typing class.
12:35And trust me, you're gonna see some stuff that'll haunt you forever.
12:38You're on.
12:39I will crush you.
12:41But not this afternoon, because I'm getting a thing lasered off.
12:43But tomorrow afternoon, I will crush you.
12:49Good luck tight battling you teacher, Tina.
12:52Which your mother and I are hoping is totally normal.
12:55Thanks.
12:55Our girl's ready.
12:56And you should find a spot for Mr. Grant's head, because we're coming home with it.
13:00Don't bring it home.
13:01I want to declutter.
13:02You got this, Tina.
13:03Yeah, I do.
13:04Good luck, Tina.
13:05You're fighting for all of us, girl.
13:07Thank you, I am.
13:08I hope you win today, Tina.
13:10You deserve to go on that trip, even though you kind of game the system.
13:13Thanks.
13:13I'll be there rooting for you with my mouth, not my arms.
13:16I'm pretty sore from all the upper body stuff I've been doing to get ready for vertically challenged.
13:21That's why I keep rubbing this cool zone cream on.
13:24Whoa, that's potent.
13:25I didn't know we were allowed to bring creams to school.
13:28This changes everything.
13:29You really gotta rub it in.
13:31Oh, it feels so good on my muscles.
13:34Oh, that's the stuff.
13:36Damn.
13:37See you later.
13:38Mm-hmm.
13:39Tina?
13:40Mr. Grant?
13:41Just keep walking, Tina.
13:42We'll see you after school at the type-off, Mr. Grant.
13:46And also, Tina will probably see you during the regular scheduled typing class,
13:50which may be a little awkward today, but yeah.
13:52I can't believe you were dumb enough to agree to battle a student.
13:56Yeah, what's next?
13:57A kid challenges me to a running competition?
13:59I threw my back out pulling up my shorts today.
14:02Guys, cool your muffins.
14:04I'm gonna win.
14:05You better win, Grant.
14:06I'm out learning all the state capitals, no matter how many kids want to battle me.
14:11Guys, I'm freaking out.
14:13Oh, God.
14:14Oh, God.
14:14He's got security footage.
14:15He's gonna see everything.
14:17What?
14:17What are you talking about?
14:18What security footage?
14:19Elliot, the gaucho grill guy, apparently has a security camera in his backyard.
14:24Oh.
14:24Uh-oh.
14:24He texted me, asking about the grill.
14:27He's just got cell reception back.
14:28He's getting on a plane in Patagonia, and he's excited to watch the footage of the grill
14:32being built on his layover in Miami.
14:35So, he's gonna see...
14:36Us having a big old beef party in his backyard.
14:39Ah, boy.
14:40He'll never hire me again.
14:41Also, what if he doesn't even pay me for this job?
14:44I dropped a lot of money into that grill.
14:46You just had Dad, the pineapple grilling hook, didn't you, Bob?
14:49It came with the sausage hook.
14:50It was the set, Teddy.
14:52Bob, Teddy, calm down.
14:53We'll figure something out.
14:55Should we just go smash the security camera?
14:57No, no.
14:58It's all online.
14:59Okay, okay.
15:00Um, well, right now, when he watches the footage,
15:03you're gonna be the bad guy who had an unauthorized beef party with this brand new grill.
15:08Yeah.
15:09But, what if you were the good guy who heroically saved the grill?
15:13Saved it from what?
15:51Okay, standard type-off rules.
15:54We go three rounds, fastest typer wins the round,
15:57best out of three wins the whole damn thing.
15:59Oh, and keep it down.
16:00We don't want Principal Spores finding out about this.
16:02We're not quite sure where he stands on teacher-student battles.
16:06Hey.
16:06What?
16:07Try not to cry too hard when I whoop you.
16:10Actually, you can use your tears to clean off these filthy keyboards.
16:14Just stretching out my right pinky,
16:15because I'm about to delete you.
16:18Ho, ho, ho!
16:19Yeah, she went there!
16:20Type his hat off, Tina!
16:22Yeah!
16:23Okay, people.
16:24Prompt one!
16:36Who are you rooting for?
16:38What? Tina.
16:39Same.
16:41Mr. Grant, 111 words per minute.
16:44Tina, 108.
16:45First round goes to Mr. Grant.
16:48Oh, man.
16:49Come on, Tina.
16:50You can beat him.
16:51School that teacher.
16:52Yeah!
16:53Serve him a typing hot mug of defeat.
16:55Prompt two!
16:59There she is.
17:00There's our freaky-fingered gal.
17:02Look at those fingers bang!
17:07Mr. Grant, 112 words per minute.
17:10Tina, 113.
17:12This round goes to Tina.
17:14Yeah!
17:16Crap!
17:17Last round, last prompt.
17:19Winner of this wins the type-off.
17:21Oh, my God!
17:22It could be either of them!
17:24You got him on the ropes, Tina.
17:25Now finish him!
17:26Sweep the fingers!
17:28First of the challenge, here you come, Tina.
17:31High ten!
17:33Huh.
17:34That's a pretty wet high ten.
17:35No judgment.
17:36Wait, my hands feel weird.
17:38Oh, my God.
17:39Ah, my fingers are getting all tingly.
17:40Uh-oh.
17:41It's the cool zone stuff from my sore muscles.
17:44Ah!
17:44Ah, they're numb!
17:45My fingers are numb!
17:46I can't feel the keys!
17:48That's not good.
17:48I'm so sorry, Tina.
17:50I was just trying to give you a supportive high ten.
17:52Ah!
17:53I can't feel anything!
17:54Well, now you know how teachers feel.
17:59Final prompt!
18:00Wait!
18:01Wait!
18:01Wait!
18:01Stop!
18:02Hold on the prompt!
18:03I got cool zone on my hands, and now my fingers are numb.
18:05I'm not going to be able to type.
18:06Oh, wow!
18:07Let me head over to my filing cabinet and file that under Not My Problem.
18:11I gotta wipe it off!
18:12I gotta wipe it off!
18:14It's not working!
18:16Quick emergency bathroom trip!
18:22Why won't you just text the call already?
18:25I'm so nervous, I can't even eat.
18:27It's gonna be okay, Teddy.
18:28It was a good plan.
18:29Not really.
18:30Oh, this is him.
18:32Hello?
18:33Hey, Elliot.
18:34Uh-huh.
18:35Yeah, that's us on the...
18:38Yes, we grilled.
18:39We were just making sure it worked.
18:42Well, I wouldn't call it a party.
18:44I guess there was some dancing.
18:47Yep, that was a few cannonballs, but I'm really sur...
18:51Oh, yeah, that car came out of nowhere.
18:53And the guy with the bat, he must have been one of those angry vegetarians I've been hearing about.
18:58They hate grills.
18:59Yeah, I know.
19:00The twists and turns of life.
19:03Huh?
19:03Okay, great.
19:04I'll come over tomorrow.
19:06We can settle up.
19:07Bye.
19:07Yes!
19:08He bought it!
19:09Yeah!
19:09Seriously?
19:10Hello?
19:11Oh, God.
19:11Hey, sorry.
19:12I'm at an auction and a guy bought a thing.
19:15A very famous pair of pants.
19:17Gotta go.
19:17Bye.
19:18I couldn't wash it off.
19:20Would it kill this school to have some warm water or soap in these friggin' bathrooms?
19:24Soap?
19:24Ooh la la.
19:26I'm so sorry, Tina.
19:27Damn you, cool zone.
19:29In what zone is this considered cool?
19:31Can we, um, reschedule?
19:33You can't reschedule a type-off, Tina.
19:36Anyway, isn't it your little field trip tomorrow?
19:38So, yeah, we finished this today.
19:40Sorry, Tina.
19:41Third prompt!
19:44I don't know where my fingers are.
19:46Aw, bet you're wishing you'd just learn to use the home row now, huh, Tina?
19:50But you just had to go your own way, didn't you?
19:53Blaze your own trail with your freakish freestyling.
19:56Well, you know what can happen to trailblazers?
19:58They go up in blazing flames.
20:01Yeah, that was a burn burn.
20:03Tina, don't let anyone tell you where home row is.
20:05You make your own home row, you crazy SOB.
20:08I can't.
20:09I'm gonna lose.
20:11Come on, Tina.
20:13Weird, freakish typer.
20:14Come on, Tina.
20:16Weird, freakish typer.
20:18Come on, Tina.
20:20Weird, freakish typer.
20:22Come on, Tina.
20:24Weird, freakish typer.
20:26Come on, Tina.
20:28Weird, freakish typer.
20:30Come on, Tina.
20:31Weird, freakish typer.
20:34Mr. Grand, 115 words per minute.
20:37Tina, 116.
20:39Tina wins!
20:40What?
20:41No, no, no, no!
20:43Damn it!
20:44Frickin' grand.
20:45Yes!
20:45Yes!
20:46Yes!
20:46Mwah!
20:46Mwah!
20:47Mwah!
20:47Okay, my lips are numb.
20:50Did you see me get to that handhold, Tino?
20:53Oh, I saw.
20:54I saw the whole thing.
20:56Looking good up there, buddy.
21:10I'm a big fire.
21:12In my background.
21:18The temple of the carne.
21:22I always have to adore.
21:27For the couch!
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