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مسلسل Desperate Housewives مترجم - Episode 7
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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:02Exactly what is it you hired me to do?
00:04Someone sent that note to my wife, and I need to know who.
00:07Some secrets were discovered.
00:08After my mom died, I started remembering what happened to Dana.
00:11Who's Dana?
00:12What are you doing here?
00:13Some secrets were uncovered.
00:15It could be any one of these guys she's having an affair with.
00:17Don't worry about it.
00:18I'm not letting her out of my sight.
00:20And some secrets?
00:21Jordana Geist manages to get her work done.
00:24How do you cram it all in?
00:25We're shared.
00:26It's ADD medication.
00:37It means different things to different people.
00:40In suburbia, it means keeping up with the Joneses.
00:44On Wisteria Lane, that means keeping up with Brie Vandekamp.
00:50Everyone knew Brie had the nicest lawn in the neighborhood.
00:53And no one begrudged her this.
00:55No one, that is, except Martha Huber, whose own lawn paled in comparison.
01:05No matter how carefully she trimmed, or how lovingly she watered, or how generously she fertilized,
01:17The grass was always greener on the other side of the fence.
01:26Hello, Victor.
01:27How are you today?
01:29Out jogging again?
01:32Would you like a slurp from my hose?
01:42Victor?
01:44Victor?
01:47Don't worry.
01:48I'm going to get an ambulance.
01:52Then one day, Mrs. Hooper finally got the chance to mow down the competition.
02:12Help!
02:14Somebody help!
02:19What happened?
02:21He collapsed on your hydrangeas.
02:23Call 911.
02:40Yes, Mrs. Hooper understood the first rule of competition.
02:45In order to win, you have to want it more.
03:13Thank you, Mr. Hooper, and I'll see you tomorrow.
03:32When I was alive, my friends and I came together once a month
03:36for a meeting of the Wisteria Lane Book Club.
03:39We found the problems of literary characters so absorbing.
03:44The way they dealt with adversity.
03:48Conducted illicit affairs.
03:51Endured domestic dramas.
03:55Implanned romantic conquests.
03:58But since my death, my friends had lost their interest in fiction.
04:05So, what did everybody think?
04:07Their own problems had become absorbing enough.
04:10I thought the character of Madame Bovary was very inspirational.
04:14Oh. Inspirational?
04:17She poisons herself with arsenic.
04:20Really?
04:21You didn't read until the end?
04:23I stopped after page 50.
04:26Am I the only one who read the book?
04:27I saw the movie. It was really good.
04:30Ladies, I'm sorry, but what is the point of having a book club if we don't read the book?
04:36More wine?
04:39So, uh, Reba, Emma, and Lori, would you girls come to the kitchen and help me with the snacks?
04:45Sure.
04:48I will be right in.
04:52God, I couldn't wait to get rid of them.
04:54Okay.
04:55So, Lynette said that you found Zach.
04:58He's at a rehabilitation center.
04:59And Julie snuck in and actually talked to him.
05:02Did he say anything about his mother's suicide?
05:04There wasn't enough time, but he did say one thing that was kind of mysterious.
05:07He said something happened to someone named Dana and that he could never, ever talk about it.
05:12Who the hell's Dana?
05:13That's the mystery part.
05:14I figured Dana has something to do with what Mary Alice was trying to hide.
05:18So, somebody found out Mary Alice's secret and sent the note.
05:22So, who the hell is that?
05:27Stationary is partial number 17, 100% cotton.
05:30It's made by Cypress Office Products.
05:33They have stores in 12 cities, including yours.
05:37Let me trace that postmark back to your local post office.
05:40Meaning?
05:42Meaning that the blackmailer is probably someone you know.
05:45A neighbor, milkman, pool boy, soccer mom.
05:50Soccer mom?
05:52Mr. Young, sometimes evil drives a minivan.
05:57I had this gig once.
05:59Tracking down this PTA mom who was hell-bent on landing her daughter a spot on the parade float.
06:05Fed antifreeze to half the homecoming committee.
06:11Did you catch her?
06:14Mr. Young.
06:17The people who hired me didn't hire me to catch her.
06:27Wow, honey, what?
06:28This place looks spotless.
06:30Thanks.
06:31Hey, so listen.
06:33I have come up with this killer idea for the Spotless Scrub campaign.
06:37Great.
06:37You want to run it by me?
06:39No, I'm good.
06:41But thanks.
06:42Okay.
06:44Well, that's the thing.
06:45You know how whenever I pitch in the boardroom, O'Rourke and Hennessy always teared my ideas down in front
06:48of the partners?
06:49Yeah?
06:50I invited the partners and their wives over so I could pitch to them here.
06:54And I thought maybe we could make a formal dinner for six, we could sit, we could...
06:57And when exactly would this formal dinner take place?
07:00Uh, day after tomorrow.
07:01Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
07:03It's short notice, I just...
07:04You think?
07:05How am I supposed to pull off a formal dinner with no warning?
07:08I don't know.
07:08Bree Vandicamp does this kind of thing all the time.
07:11I...
07:12And what did you say?
07:14Well, I'm sorry.
07:15I didn't mean it like that.
07:16That's...
07:16You know what?
07:17Forget it.
07:17I'll call and I'll cancel.
07:18Just don't worry about it.
07:19No, no, let's...
07:20Let's do it.
07:23Really?
07:26Yeah.
07:27It's good for your career.
07:28I'll pull it off.
07:30Yes.
07:31Honey, thank you so much.
07:33You know what?
07:34I promise.
07:34I land this account and I'm gonna buy you something awful pretty.
07:41Luckily for Tom, Lynette had a recipe for success.
07:52Unfortunately for her, she was missing the secret ingredient.
08:11Yeah?
08:12It's me.
08:13Don't turn around.
08:14My mother-in-law can see you.
08:15I hate that she's always watching us.
08:18So meet me at the motel in an hour?
08:21Done.
08:23Uh, I've got plans.
08:25So cancel.
08:27They're with Danielle.
08:28We're going to the movies.
08:30That sounds like a date.
08:32Yeah.
08:33Well, I have a problem with you seeing other girls.
08:36Well, I have a problem with you having a husband.
08:38I guess we'll both have to learn to deal.
09:03Let's go.
09:04Don't even try to make it up to me by talking dirty.
09:08Hello?
09:10Hello?
09:11Hello?
09:29Mr. and Mrs. Van Kemp.
09:33So, your son decided to entertain some of his friends yesterday by shoving a freshman's head into a locker.
09:38This was the Johnson boy?
09:40Yes.
09:40He broke the boy's nose.
09:42Because of our no-tolerance policy, your son may face expulsion.
09:45You're going to ruin his whole future over a little roughhousing?
09:48Rex, this was practically assault.
09:50Mrs. Stark, what Andrew did was clearly wrong, but in his defense, his mother and I are going through severe
09:56marital problems.
09:57Oh, is that relevant?
09:58Our marriage is disintegrating.
10:00Of course Andrew was acting out.
10:01He has every right to be angry.
10:03If Andrew's angry about you moving out of the house, then perhaps he should shove your head into a locker.
10:07All I'm saying is that we need to take some of the responsibility here.
10:11So does Andrew.
10:13Blaming his actions on our problems, which are not so serious, does not help him.
10:17Our problems are serious.
10:19Mrs. Stark, you handle this however you see fit.
10:21Bree, I've gone to an attorney.
10:23You're going to be served with divorce papers later today.
10:26You went to an attorney?
10:29Yeah, and a good one too.
10:32Well, he better be good because when I'm finished with you, you won't have a cent to your name.
10:37Bring it on.
10:40Perhaps detention is the way to go.
10:43Mom, you're getting too dressed up.
10:45I know, but I want to look really sexy.
10:48I told Mike I expect him to have you home by 11.
10:50Hmm, how about midnight?
10:52All right, but no later.
10:53You know how I worry.
10:55So, you, uh, got protection?
10:57Oh, my God.
10:59We are so not having this conversation.
11:01We are because I enjoy being an only child.
11:05Are you finished?
11:06Almost.
11:08You know, I always assumed I'd have sex for the first time before you had it again.
11:12Okay, you can leave now.
11:14Mm-hmm.
11:15Yeah.
11:18What do you think?
11:19Trying too hard?
11:22Yeah, well, what do you know?
11:2430 degrees outside and you're wearing fur.
11:26Oh.
11:35Hey, Mike.
11:51Hey, Edie.
11:55Wow.
11:56Get a load of you.
11:58You look so pretty.
12:00I hardly recognize you.
12:02Oh, this?
12:03Well, I have a date.
12:06Right now.
12:07With Mike.
12:09We kissed.
12:10FYI.
12:21Ooh, love the jacket.
12:23Good choice.
12:24Um, look, Susan, I'm really sorry, but I've got to cancel.
12:28I have a unexpected house guest.
12:32Come on through.
12:33Oh, sorry.
12:34Hi, I'm Kendra.
12:36Susan.
12:37I'm going to run to the car and get my stuff.
12:44I know how this looks, but there's nothing between us.
12:47Kendra's just an old friend.
12:49Old friend?
12:50Yeah, you know.
12:51Yeah, yeah.
12:53No, actually, no.
12:54I don't know.
12:54So, by old friend, you mean college pal, bowling buddy, safety from drowning?
12:59It's hard to explain.
13:00Could you give it a shot?
13:04Mike, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower.
13:08Mm-hmm.
13:09Look, I promise I'll make this up to you.
13:15And you look amazing.
13:18Mike, where are the towels?
13:24Thanks.
13:30Hey!
13:32How was your big date?
13:35Mike had to reschedule.
13:37Oh, because of the hot girl with the suitcase over there?
13:43Gosh, how devastating for you.
13:46FYI.
13:55Look, I just want to move this place fast.
13:57I'll do whatever we have to do.
13:59Well, that's good to know.
14:01You do realize that you're going to have to disclose the fact that your wife killed herself in the house.
14:06I am?
14:07Oh, yeah.
14:08Legal crap.
14:09And people get really freaked out by suicides.
14:13You can't blame them.
14:14Hell, I got the willies just standing here.
14:17Is there any way to get around it?
14:20Off the record?
14:21Yeah.
14:23You could say that she shot herself in the living room and then crawled out back to die.
14:30Well, I'm just saying.
14:34Oh, I got to go.
14:35I'll call you tomorrow.
14:43Edie, wait!
14:54Paul had always known Edie Britt was capable of doing anything to close a deal.
15:02But now he realized she was capable of so much more.
15:10Hey, Danielle.
15:11Hey, Mrs. Solis.
15:14Oh, Danielle.
15:17Remember when you said you wanted to be a model?
15:19You remember that?
15:20That was like last summer.
15:22Well, as it turns out, Perfect Modeling Academy has an opening for their summer program.
15:26Would you like me to sponsor you?
15:27Would I?
15:28Oh, my God.
15:28That's like one of the best schools in the country.
15:30You would do that for me?
15:31I sure would.
15:32I would so love to go to New York.
15:35Oh, and I would so love to help you get there.
15:46Hey, Jordana.
15:48Hey, Lynette.
15:49How are you?
15:51You look a little tired.
15:53Is everything okay?
15:54Actually, I'm getting ready for a dinner party tomorrow night.
15:56Six people.
15:57Sounds fun.
15:58Big fun.
16:00Say, you wouldn't have any of your kids' ADD medication that you could spare just to get me over to
16:05home.
16:05Tina!
16:07Don't push your sister.
16:09Gosh, Lynette.
16:12I'm really running low.
16:13I need all my energy I can get.
16:16My sister Elaine and her kids are flying in town for a week.
16:19Yeah, that's exciting.
16:21I wish my sister would visit more often.
16:23Yeah, sisters are great.
16:24Yeah.
16:25Just three or four pills.
16:26I'm really hitting a wall here.
16:28Yeah, the calm down can be a real bitch.
16:31I wish I could help.
16:34I'm not going to forget about this, Jordana.
16:37What's that supposed to mean?
16:38It means come Girl Scout cookie time, don't bother bringing around little Tina because we won't be home.
16:49What's all this about?
16:53You both know that your mother and I have been unhappy for quite a while.
16:56After a lot of soul searching, we've decided that it would be better if we got divorced.
17:01But whatever problems your father and I may have, it doesn't change the fact that we love you very, very
17:06much.
17:07I've got a question.
17:08Go ahead, sweetheart.
17:09Ask whatever you want.
17:11Can I live with Dan?
17:13I mean, come on, Mom.
17:14Let's face it.
17:15We drive each other crazy.
17:24Is that what you would prefer, Danielle?
17:26To live with your father?
17:27I don't really care as long as I have my own bathroom.
17:34Um, all this, um, wine has, uh, given me a headache.
17:53Six weeks in the suburban jungle and this is all you got?
17:57There are over 300 families in this subdivision.
18:00It'll take time to check them all out.
18:02Dad said last time he saw you, you were ready to quit.
18:05No, well, I changed my mind.
18:07Well, this is a gigantic waste of your time and my father's money.
18:11Are you afraid of the old man burning through your inheritance?
18:13That's not funny.
18:16Mike, here's the thing.
18:18What?
18:20Dad can't chase ghosts alone.
18:23If you stop, he'll have to accept it's over.
18:25Let me have my father back.
18:28If I quit, he'll just hire somebody else.
18:29Not if you tell him there's nothing here to find.
18:33Well, I can't do that.
18:40What happens when your girlfriend finds out you're not just this sweet, neighborly plumber?
18:49You're lying to her, Mike.
18:57Oh, here it is.
18:59Great.
19:01This will keep the crab dip warm.
19:02It took forever to shell the little buggers, but it'll be worth it.
19:05You shelled your own crabs?
19:07Okay, I don't want to bet in, but are you doing too much?
19:10Because you look exhausted.
19:11Oh, I'm fine.
19:12I just need some coffee.
19:17Oh, my God.
19:18Look at this embroidery.
19:23Dana, where did this come from?
19:26Paul Young's garage sale.
19:32Dana.
19:35Wow.
19:37Dana was a baby.
19:47Surprise.
19:49No way.
19:50Yep.
19:51No way.
19:51No, it's all yours.
19:52You're the keys.
19:54Rex, what's this about?
19:56I went and splurged a little.
19:58Oh, Danielle, here's your present.
20:01Luggage?
20:02Yeah.
20:03It's to take with you to the Perchick Modeling Academy.
20:05I'm footing the entire bill.
20:06You mean it?
20:07I can really go to New York.
20:08Wait, wait a minute.
20:09What's all this about a modeling academy?
20:11It's my new career.
20:12Mrs. Solis is sponsoring me.
20:13Oh, is she now?
20:14And when were you planning on telling me?
20:15She told me, and I think it's a great idea.
20:18Don't you two see what he's doing?
20:19He's trying to get you on his side.
20:21He's trying to buy your love.
20:22Oh, for God's sake.
20:23Don't be paranoid.
20:24A car?
20:24A modeling academy?
20:26You should have discussed these gifts with me first.
20:28I'm sorry, kids, but we cannot accept them.
20:31Dad, you can't let her do this.
20:33Brie, we just told the kids we're getting divorced.
20:36Isn't it time to spoil him a little?
20:37I said no.
20:39You know what?
20:41They're my kids, too, and I can give them anything I want.
20:45There you go.
20:46Thank you, Daddy.
20:48Mm-hmm.
21:14Did you offer to help Danielle get into modeling school?
21:17What?
21:18Uh, yes.
21:20No.
21:20Um, is that how she heard it?
21:23Yes.
21:24Gabrielle, did you or did you not offer to sponsor her?
21:28I just wanted to help out.
21:29It's in New York, for God's sakes.
21:31Why on earth would you suggest that?
21:34It's her dream.
21:35And don't you want her to be happy?
21:37No.
21:39No.
21:39And in the future, I would appreciate you keeping your ridiculous ideas to yourself.
21:44Brie!
21:52John.
21:56John!
21:57You're so jealous of Danielle, you try to ship her off to New York?
22:00I'm not jealous.
22:01I just don't like to share.
22:03Well, you know what?
22:04I quit.
22:05The yard, us, everything.
22:07Oh, don't be that way.
22:09What's the point if we can never be together?
22:11You know, an hour here, an hour there?
22:13I don't want us to end on a bad note.
22:17Carlos has this black tie thing tonight.
22:19I could slip...
22:19Mrs. Solis!
22:21John, please.
22:23All we had was so special.
22:27I think it deserves a proper goodbye.
22:32We'd, um...
22:33We'd still be over, though.
22:35Of course.
22:50I knew this play date was a good idea.
22:52Oh, yeah.
22:52Thank you for suggesting it.
22:54Your boys are the only ones I know who could tire out Timmy.
22:59Yep.
23:00He's a feisty one.
23:02Hey, word on the street is, um, you've been medicating Timmy?
23:05Oh, yeah.
23:06For his ADD.
23:08The pills have been a godsend.
23:10I bet.
23:14Can I use your bathroom?
23:33As Lynette swallowed the stolen medication of an eight-year-old child,
23:38she vowed she'd never again sink to such depths.
23:46Any time soon.
23:59Well, it looks like you've got your blackmailer.
24:03Is it time to bring in the police?
24:05That's not really an option for me.
24:08Hmm.
24:10Before my wife shot herself, we lived a life that I was proud of.
24:15We loved each other.
24:17We had value as we went to church.
24:19We gave to charity.
24:21We were good people, Mr. Shaw.
24:23Well, I believe you.
24:26That's why it's so incomprehensible to me that E.D. Britt would try to destroy us.
24:33Well, you've suffered a great loss.
24:35Before your pain healed, that's gonna take some time.
24:39I can't wait.
24:42I need help now.
24:48For five grand, she's hurt.
24:51Ten grand, she's gone.
25:12Mom, what's going on?
25:14Oh, I'm throwing you out.
25:15I've separated all your things into two sides.
25:17This side is yours, Danielle, and the other one is Andrew's.
25:22Okay, you've lost it.
25:23Where are we supposed to live?
25:25Darned if I know.
25:26Danielle, everything in the north quadrant of your side is clothes and books and such,
25:30and the south side are miscellaneous items.
25:32Mom, this isn't gonna work.
25:34Okay, I'm not giving up my car.
25:36That's a smart idea, because you're probably gonna have to sleep in it for a while.
25:41Mom, you can't stop us from going back inside the house.
25:44Oh, no?
25:45That's up, Mr. Conlon, the locksmith.
25:47He's been very helpful today.
25:48Of course, I could give you the new keys, which would mean you'd have to adhere to my rules,
25:53which include giving back your father's gifts.
26:02Okay, fine.
26:03You win.
26:03I won't go to New York.
26:10I'm out of here.
26:16Oh, hello.
26:18Welcome.
26:18I'm Edie.
26:19How do you do?
26:20Hi.
26:20The open house in the suburbs?
26:22This is beyond kitsch.
26:23Just behave yourself.
26:25This is one of the houses on the street I've had a hard time getting into.
26:27God, I wish you would let this go.
26:29I'm taking you out for drinks tonight.
26:31There's this cowboy bar called the Saddle Ranch you need to see.
26:33Why?
26:34It's the last place anybody ever saw your sister.
26:42Susan, what brings you here?
26:44I just wanted to say goodbye to Mary Alice's house before somebody else moved in.
26:50Aw.
26:51That sounds almost plausible.
26:54I beg your pardon?
26:55Oh, come on.
26:58We both know why you're here.
27:00And the answer is yes.
27:01They are having sex.
27:03No question.
27:05You know what you're talking about.
27:06They're just friends.
27:07Think so?
27:08I overheard them say that they're going to Saddle Ranch tonight for drinks and dancing.
27:14So friends can do that.
27:17Oh, my God.
27:18I just want to slap and shake you.
27:26Where did you say they were going tonight?
27:38I don't know why I let you talk me into coming here.
27:40There is obviously nothing going on between them.
27:43Where are you going?
27:44I'm going to the bathroom and I'm going home.
27:46I don't want Mike to catch me here.
27:48It's only been ten minutes.
27:49She could be waiting to make her move.
27:55Oh, come on.
27:56You're not going to beat a girl like that by knocking off her early.
27:58It's not a competition.
28:00The hell it isn't.
28:02Good night, Edie.
28:05Suit yourself.
28:06But for the record, I was rooting for you to land him.
28:11And why would you root for me?
28:14Well, I figured it would be easier for me to steal Mike from you than her.
28:18She seems like fun.
28:23Just take some antacid.
28:25It's not those kind of cramps.
28:27This is a business dinner.
28:29It's important.
28:33Relax.
28:34You and I can go alone.
28:36Gabriel can stay here and get better.
28:40Fine.
28:41See you in a couple of hours.
28:43Okay.
28:45Take good care of Carlos.
28:47Oh, I always do.
29:10Oh, God.
29:22Mike.
29:24What a small, small world.
29:27Yeah, it sure is.
29:28I caught Edie hiding in the back.
29:30No kidding.
29:31Is she here?
29:35Yeah.
29:36She said the jig is up, and then she went to ride the bull.
29:40Oh, and she said you two came together.
29:42Oh, well, yeah.
29:43We did.
29:45I just thought she left.
29:47Are you following me?
29:48What?
29:51Now I just came here, you know, with Edie.
29:54We just love to ride that bull.
29:58You ride the bull?
29:59Yeah.
29:59Yeah, it's a real rush.
30:02Come on, Susan.
30:03Give me a break.
30:04You know, you give me a break.
30:05I did not follow you here, and even if I had followed you here, it's just because you've
30:08been so secretive about Kendra.
30:10Kendra and I are friends.
30:11And I came here to ride the bull.
30:13Woo!
30:15We got another way to ride the bull!
30:23Okay, little dog, you're up.
30:26Oh, fine.
30:28I'm a doggy.
30:29She's a hot dog!
30:34Oh, whoa!
30:35She's a hot dog!
30:39She's a hot dog!
30:42She's a hot dog!
30:47Oh, yeah.
30:49I'm here to ride the bull.
30:52Check it out.
30:53Woo!
30:54Okay.
30:56Yeah!
30:57Woo!
30:59Baby!
31:00Woo!
31:03Woo!
31:06She's a fireball!
31:11Andrew, you promised you'd stay with your mother.
31:14That's why I gave you the car.
31:15Dad, she wants me out.
31:17She put all my stuff on the front lawn.
31:19This is ridiculous.
31:20I'm going to call her, and I'm going to smooth all this out.
31:23You're going home.
31:23No, Dad, why?
31:25Now I can live with you without feeling guilty.
31:27It'll be perfect.
31:28It'll be like our own little bachelor pad.
31:29Dad.
31:32What?
31:34Son, that's not going to happen.
31:36Why not?
31:40Andrew, these last few months have been incredibly difficult for me.
31:44There are a lot of things that I've got to work out for myself, and I can't do it if
31:48you're living with me.
31:49I'm sorry.
31:51I don't care.
31:52All right?
31:53I'm not going back there.
31:54I don't think you have a choice.
31:57But, Dad.
31:58Uh-uh.
32:05Oh, come on now.
32:07Don't...
32:14Peace?
32:16Yeah, it's me.
32:17Do you still have your fake ID?
32:20Yeah, I've got to go home and kiss my mother's ass, and I'm not going to do it sober.
32:32More than I needed to know.
32:35I was in shock.
32:37He was totally shocked.
32:38He says, Congressman, this was a campaign.
32:40This was not the vote.
32:41You voted already.
32:42That's what it was.
32:44I love that one.
32:46Oh, the dessert's looking wonderful.
32:49Lynette, do you need any help?
32:51I got it covered.
32:51No problem.
32:52Okay, Scabbo, you're up.
32:54Let's hear this genius idea of yours.
32:56Okay.
32:59Uh...
33:01Okay.
33:03The single greatest obstacle facing Spotless Scrub is a lack of visibility.
33:07We need to concentrate ad spending in places where women spend the majority of their time.
33:13For example, large chain grocery stores.
33:17Picture Spotless Scrub ads on the side of every mother's shopping cart.
33:23Interesting.
33:24Oh, you know what would be even better?
33:25Dry cleaning bags.
33:27What?
33:28No, really, hear me out.
33:29Put a big Spotless Scrub ad between a woman and her cashmere sweater.
33:32I guarantee you'll get her attention.
33:34Honey, honey, that's great.
33:35I'm in the middle of a thing here.
33:36Oh.
33:39She's got a point.
33:41I would notice that.
33:42And those dry cleaning bags hang in our closets forever, and so it is like constant advertising.
33:48Exactly.
33:49You know, maybe there's a way that we can work that in.
33:51You know what, this is kind of a fantastic idea.
33:54Can we go nationwide with this?
33:56Why not?
33:56Start by targeting the top chain, then branch out from there.
34:00Boom, boom, boom.
34:01Mass saturation.
34:02Oh, you know what else would be a great idea?
34:04Here's the thing.
34:05While Annette was commanding everyone's attention, Susan was trying to remain inconspicuous.
34:13Everybody's looking at me, aren't they?
34:15Just the slapstick fans.
34:17Oh, God.
34:18Why couldn't I have just been knocked unconscious?
34:23Here?
34:24Absolutely.
34:27Oh.
34:29Ow.
34:31Ow.
34:32Ow.
34:35Susan, this is Kendra.
34:37We've been introduced.
34:39No, this is Kendra.
34:40We've been friends for years.
34:41She's here on a visit.
34:42She's leaving tomorrow.
34:43That's it.
34:45That's true.
34:46I have no designs on this man whatsoever.
34:50I'll be right back.
34:54Sorry about the misunderstanding.
34:56Me too.
34:57So, how long have you two been seeing each other?
35:00Well, you sort of interrupted our first date.
35:03But up until then, smoking hot tension.
35:07Sounds pathetic, I know.
35:09No, I think it's good to take it slow.
35:12You'd be smart to be careful.
35:17Any particular reason?
35:19Look, Mike's a wonderful guy.
35:22Really.
35:23But you should ask him why he moved to Wisteria Lane.
35:27It's one hell of a story.
35:31Here, I got some ice.
35:33Here you go.
35:35Thanks.
35:37Thanks.
35:48Well, it's been fun.
35:50Thanks, guys.
35:51See you later.
35:52Woo-wee.
35:55Good evening.
35:56Good evening.
35:58Have a seat.
36:03I could get used to this whole closure thing.
36:06I love long goodbyes.
36:19Wait around the corner.
36:20I'll be right back.
36:31Smile, Gabriel.
36:49Well, that's it, then.
36:56What are you doing?
36:57She had a camera.
36:58We've got to catch her.
37:02Mrs. Solis, your husband's going to kill us.
37:05Come on.
37:09Leave me alone.
37:11Give me that camera right now.
37:12Shut up.
37:12I'm not kidding, old woman.
37:14Stay away from me.
37:15Don't touch me.
37:18Bam!
37:19Bam!
37:20Ah!
37:28Man.
37:29No.
37:30Leave me alone.
37:30Let's see you down.
37:31One.
37:34Foot!
37:34What?
37:35Ah!
37:35Ah!
37:38Ah!
37:38Ah!
37:39Ah!
37:39Ah!
37:40Ah!
37:40Ah!
37:41Ah!
37:47Ah!
38:03No, no, you go home, I'll take care of this, and you were never here, go, go!
38:20Did you see that guy came barreling around the corner and just hit her?
38:24Do you have a cell phone?
38:26Yeah.
38:26Call 911.
39:03What happened?
39:05Is she breathing?
39:06As Juanita teetered dangerously close to the white light,
39:11Lynette and Tom were headed into a black hole.
39:14I was just participating.
39:16Your participation was supposed to be limited to making dinner, not making my ideas look bad.
39:22Yeah, well, maybe you need better ideas.
39:25I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
39:28No, no, no, no, no.
39:28We both know that your career was going so much better than mine before we had kids.
39:32You never let me forget that.
39:34That is not fair.
39:35You are always competing with me, and judging by tonight, you know what? Still are.
39:39Tom, I am sorry about tonight, truly.
39:42But these days, if I'm competing with anyone, it's the Brie Vandicamps of the world,
39:45with their spotless kitchens and their perfect kids who throw fabulous parties where nothing ever goes wrong.
39:51I try so hard to keep up, but I can't.
39:53Lynette, that's not my expectation.
39:54And when you work on a pitcher, you bring the partners over,
39:57I am reminded of a world I left behind where I was the winner and people tried to keep up
40:02with me.
40:02I can't go back.
40:04Look, I can't win where I am.
40:06I am stuck in the middle, and it is really starting to get to me.
40:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
40:10For your information, I thought you threw an amazing dinner party tonight.
40:13I was thrilled.
40:16I don't know how you pulled it all together.
40:21Yeah, well...
40:22And whether you believe it or not, everyone who knows you thinks that you are a great wife and mother.
40:29No, they don't.
40:30Yes, they do.
40:32Especially me.
40:35Thanks.
40:39What's wrong with your eyes?
40:42Nothing.
40:42I'm tired.
40:45Turn around.
40:46Wait a minute.
40:46I want to look at you.
40:47I'm fine, really.
40:51What's going on outside?
40:53What's going on outside?
41:06Oh, my God.
41:08Thank God you're here.
41:09Will you go take care of Gabrielle?
41:10I have to go home for a minute.
41:11Yes.
41:11All right.
41:16Oh, Andrew.
41:17Thank God you're back.
41:19I need your help, honey.
41:20There's been an accident.
41:21What happened?
41:23Andrew?
41:30Mama?
41:35Andrew.
41:41Rex, you need to come home.
41:43Something's happened, and we need you.
41:57Competition.
41:58It means different things to different people.
42:01But whether it's a friendly rivalry,
42:04or a fight to the death,
42:07Cheers.
42:08The end result is the same.
42:11There will be winners,
42:15and there will be losers.
42:18Cheers.
42:20Cheers.
42:25Of course, the trick is
42:27to know which battles to fight.
42:32You see,
42:35no victory
42:36comes without a price.
42:38You see,
42:40I shall see.
42:42Bye-bye.
42:52Bye-bye.
43:21Transcription by CastingWords
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