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مسلسل Community مترجم - Episode 3
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00:16Hey, man. My name's Jeff. I'm trying to lock down the rest of my schedule before the deadline.
00:21I heard this class was a cakewalk. Are you passing it? Do you like the ain't cook?
00:26Thanks, awesome. So far, so good.
00:31Death, so called, is a thing that makes men weep.
00:38And yet, a third of life is spent in sleep.
00:45Open your textbooks to page 37.
00:50Now, close them and throw them away.
00:55Throw it away!
00:56Ha, ha, ha, ha! Throw it away!
01:00For those of you who are new, the motto of this class, carpe diem. Seize the day.
01:06No tests, no papers. You want an A?
01:09Live in the moment.
01:16Check, Bob.
01:17Take off your shoes. Quick, take off your shoes. Everyone, take your shoes off. Throw them away.
01:21Throw them across the room over there. Today, we learned to walk.
01:24Get up and walk out the door. This day could be your last.
01:28You could die in your sleep. You could get hit by a bus. You, that mole is raised and dark.
01:33It's not a good combo.
01:34You are new. Yes, I'm new. But I'll be old too soon.
01:37Carpe diem, sir. Carpe diem. I like it!
01:42Voice command. Voice command. Voice command. Voice command.
01:52Voice command. Voice command.
02:00Would you please use the buttons?
02:03Okay, Grandpa.
02:06Oh, God bless you, dear.
02:11What's so funny?
02:12You guys, I found it.
02:13The ultimate blow-off class.
02:15Professor Whitman.
02:16He thinks he's in dead poet society.
02:18There's no tests.
02:19There's no work.
02:20It's just day seizing.
02:23The deadline to enroll is tomorrow.
02:25I suggest you all do it.
02:26Well, some of us are here to actually learn things.
02:29I'm in.
02:29Me too. It sounds educational.
02:32I'll do it. I love Robin Williams.
02:34I bet.
02:34Not a fan. In every movie, there's an authority figure that gets mad at him for making people laugh.
02:38No, are you going to take the class?
02:39Oh, can't.
02:40My dad will only pay for classes that will help me run the family restaurant.
02:43It's been struggling since 2001.
02:459-11 was pretty much the 9-11 of the falafel business.
02:47So your dad has your whole life planned out for you?
02:50Are you even interested in falafel?
02:53I'm interested in making movies.
02:54But my dad says all media is Western propaganda that negatively stereotypes Arabs.
02:57Then he should see Aladdin.
02:58Jafar was a badass.
03:00Yes, he was.
03:00Yeah, he was.
03:03Abed, how much does a film class cost?
03:05$70.
03:09Britta.
03:10Jeff.
03:12Britta.
03:12Isn't Abed's dad a hardcore Muslim?
03:15They're not as understanding as Christians.
03:17You can get your head cut off with a salami sword.
03:18Shirley!
03:19That's the most racist thing I've ever heard.
03:22Pierce will beat that in one minute.
03:28This is really nice of you.
03:30The memo says four dreams.
03:33You guys, are we going to study Spanish or keep getting involved in each other's personal lives?
03:39Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl.
03:41And how about I pound you like a boy?
03:42That didn't come out right.
03:44Why don't you all just leave him alone with his cute little baby sneezes?
03:46You're not my mother.
03:48She's not?
03:5029 seconds.
03:52Give me some more time and a dream
03:55Give me the hope to run out of steam
03:58Somebody said we could be here
04:01We could be both so tired of better than you
04:05I can't count the reasons I should stay
04:10One by one they all just fade away
04:21What's your name?
04:21My name is Shirley Bennett.
04:23Shirley, you get an A.
04:24If you can tell me why you were here at Greendale.
04:29What'd I tell you?
04:31Okay, but never again.
04:33Shirley?
04:34To get a degree in business so I can sell my baked goods and whatnot on the internet.
04:40Why are you here?
04:42To get a degree in business so I can sell my baked goods and whatnot on the internet.
04:45Why are you here?
04:49Because I wasted 15 years of my life on a man who left me with nothing but stretch marks and
04:52a foggy memory of two bland orgasms and now it's time to get what's mine.
04:56Day seized.
05:01Only when we stop stopping our lives can we begin to start starting them.
05:06Ms. Edison here, for example, would rather write about what happens to other people than live what is happening to
05:12her.
05:13I thought there might be a quiz.
05:15Well, here's a quiz for you.
05:16Why did the pretty young girl die alone, surrounded by sweater-wearing cats who are trained to use human toilets?
05:25Get up on your desk.
05:28Come on. Stand on your desk.
05:31Up on your desk?
05:33She made it!
05:35Everyone, stand on your desks!
05:37Up, up, up, up, up!
05:38Come on!
05:39Rise, rise, rise above the programming!
05:42All your lives you were told don't stand on your desk!
05:45Well, why not?
05:50She's okay.
05:51Go to the nurse.
05:52Seize the day.
05:53You know, I was, uh, really moved by your honesty earlier.
05:58Particularly the part about, uh, your husband not being alone.
06:01Your homework!
06:05I want you to swim in a lake and tell ten people that you love them.
06:10Mr. Winger, can I have a word, please?
06:14Are you okay?
06:15Oh, maybe you're not.
06:16Oh, my goodness.
06:17Hi, Mr. Winger.
06:19I like to think that every life that passes through this class is changed.
06:23But every year, there's always one cocky opportunist who's just here to coast and grab an easy A.
06:28Oh, yeah.
06:28Are you right home?
06:30His name is Pierce.
06:31I can talk to him.
06:32It's actually you, Mr. Winger.
06:34You have no intention of seizing the day.
06:37What?
06:38Listen, I, I have never lived until I met you.
06:41I, I love you.
06:42Oh, there's one down, nine to go.
06:45Not that I need the grade or even want it.
06:46Well, I'm glad to hear it.
06:47Because if you don't genuinely seize the day before the end of the week, then you will be seizing an
06:53F for the semester.
06:58This is no way to teach accounting!
07:01I have to plan in advance how to prove that I live in the moment.
07:05I mean, I'd rather take an actual class, but now it's too late to drop our ad.
07:08It is not fair how hard it is for you to cheat here.
07:13Hey, how's it going?
07:15How's your film class, buddy?
07:16It's cool.
07:17Our first assignment is a documentary.
07:18They're like real movies, but with ugly people.
07:20I'm learning a lot.
07:21That is so wonderful.
07:22Some people don't like getting involved in others' lives.
07:25I think it's great.
07:25Hey, if you're making a documentary about Britta patting herself on the back, you're going to need a backup battery.
07:30Actually, I'm doing a movie about my dad.
07:32That is brilliant.
07:33How did he react to you signing up for the film class?
07:35The part hasn't happened yet.
07:36Here he comes.
07:37Hey!
07:37You want to get involved in my family's business?
07:41Holy war.
07:42Where do I find Mr. Britta?
07:45I'm Mr. Britta.
07:46That's right.
07:47I'm a woman with rights, and you can see my whole face.
07:52Oh, I get it.
07:53Because I'm Arab, I must hate women.
07:55Let me tell you something.
07:56I love women, but I'm getting a major B-word vibe from you.
08:00Wow, I can't believe I missed out on getting involved in this.
08:04You go host American Idol, and you stop messing with my son.
08:06He's a special boy.
08:08I raise him, okay?
08:09You don't raise him.
08:10Raising him means letting him follow his dreams.
08:12Dreams are for sleeping.
08:13You don't know that.
08:14It's clinically proven.
08:15This stuff polio.
08:16You lost me!
08:17Abed wants to study film.
08:21Hannah, what does he have?
08:22Wait, what is he saying?
08:23He says we're leaving.
08:24You're dumb that you want to stay and study film.
08:26I don't think I'm really in the scene.
08:27See, it was hard enough to talk to him before.
08:29Now we have this between us.
08:31Let's go.
08:32Hey, hey, Jimmy, don't let me.
08:33Wait, don't let me.
08:34You don't let me.
08:38Sir, you have a right to your faith and your family's privacy,
08:41but Abed is an adult and a U.S. citizen.
08:45Right?
08:45Yeah.
08:46And he has the right to stay.
08:48Fine!
08:50You want to raise him?
08:51You raise him!
08:52I'm out!
08:53Wait, what?
08:54You know, I had a father like you,
08:57and the day I finally cut myself loose
08:59is the day I finally started being happy!
09:04Well, that went well.
09:06I'll have to make some adjustments to my film.
09:08Jeff, I think you should play the role of my father.
09:11I don't want to be your father.
09:12That's perfect.
09:12You already know your lines.
09:19What?
09:21Are you dressed like an 80s rapist?
09:25Professor Whitman comes by here every morning,
09:27and I need him to see me celebrating life.
09:31What's all that?
09:32I am calculating Abed's expenses for the semester.
09:35You know, there's books, there's meals.
09:37He's renting that camera.
09:38You know, he needs a little spending money.
09:40Um, all money is spending money.
09:42Oh, Britta,
09:43um, it's amazing what you're doing for Abed.
09:45I mean, a lot of people talk a good game.
09:46But you, you follow through.
09:49Love you.
09:50Sure.
09:53I bet that doesn't happen to you a lot.
09:55Happened yesterday.
09:56Truly just doing our homework.
09:57Hillary,
09:57thank you for getting people coffee.
09:59I love you.
10:04Abed, how's it going, buddy?
10:06Good.
10:06My film is coming together.
10:07Cool tie, Jeff.
10:08Are you wearing that because you're playing the role of my dad,
10:10or is it really Christmas?
10:12Definitely Christmas.
10:13Is that a new camera?
10:14Yeah, it's more expensive,
10:15but it lets me adjust really specific settings
10:17that most people don't notice or think about.
10:19Hi, I would like a latte, and...
10:21Jeff, let me get you something.
10:23I'm okay.
10:23Oh, come on, I got you.
10:24No, really, I don't need anything.
10:26No, really, you're insulting me.
10:27Look at all this cash.
10:27Okay, I will get a small black coffee.
10:31Boo!
10:32An ordinary coffee for an ordinary life.
10:35Good morning, Professor Whitman.
10:38Sorry, Mr. Winger.
10:40These won't cut it.
10:42Shazbot!
10:43I shall have...
10:48A birthday cake!
10:52Choo!
10:59I see men in your situation, Troy.
11:02No, those are both of me.
11:04You were on top of the world before,
11:06and now no one gives a rat's ass.
11:08I can help you with your image.
11:10First, I'd lose the jacket.
11:12You look like a high school bitch.
11:13But more importantly, it's your sneeze.
11:15When I was a CEO,
11:17I had an array of masculine sneezes
11:19that asserted dominance.
11:22You know, like the explosives
11:23shock the room into silence sneeze?
11:31Or the draw-them-in sneeze, you know?
11:36Maybe I wouldn't sneeze.
11:38Because I'm in control.
11:41You could even use a sneeze
11:42to drive home a point.
11:43Like, I think the Cubs
11:45are going to win all this year.
11:46Come on!
11:50What do you think?
11:53Tell me more.
12:04It's showtime.
12:09Hey, everybody.
12:09Good morning.
12:10Good morning, sir.
12:12Good morning.
12:12Good morning, Greendale.
12:14Hi.
12:15Good morning.
12:15Watch the kite.
12:17Uh-oh.
12:18Why, do I get a chance?
12:20Oh!
12:21Look at it.
12:22One foot.
12:26Thank you, guys.
12:27Bring it in here.
12:28Nice.
12:28Thank you so much, you guys.
12:30That was really fun.
12:34Sloppy.
12:34And considering the age of these girls,
12:36unwittingly creepy.
12:38Damn it.
12:40Beat it.
12:41Professor, will you look at the amount of work
12:43that I'm putting into this?
12:44I mean, throw me a bone.
12:46Had I not already cried at the sunrise this morning,
12:49I would be weeping right now.
12:51What does that mean?
12:53What do you mean, Jeff?
12:55What does your life mean?
12:57How long did it take you in the morning
12:58to make it look like you have bedhead?
13:00How many sweatpants-sport jacket combos
13:02did you try before you found the one
13:04that said, I don't care?
13:07Seize the day, Jeff.
13:08For real.
13:09Go running naked in a hailstorm,
13:11kiss a girl in the middle of the day,
13:12fly a kite, but do it for yourself.
13:15Or you won't just fail my class.
13:18You'll fail life.
13:30That guy's really got your number.
13:31Drop the flower.
13:32Okay, I really need to talk to you about Abed.
13:34I went by his film class today.
13:35He wasn't there.
13:36He's cutting.
13:37I want to know why he would do something like that.
13:40Ask him.
13:41Every time I try to ask him about it,
13:43he just keeps filming me
13:44and telling me that I'm playing the role of his mother.
13:47Abed is not normal.
13:49That's what you bought
13:51when you intentionally tangled yourself in his life.
13:55Look, will you just...
13:56Will you please talk to him?
13:57I've got problems of my own.
13:59I'm out here trying to seize a day.
14:04What?
14:05What?
14:08Is he going to kill us?
14:13Thanks for the pizza, Abed.
14:15I was starving.
14:16Yeah, it's nice.
14:17Like a picnic.
14:18Or a family dinner.
14:19It's a study group and a pizza.
14:21Let's not get carried away.
14:29So, Abed.
14:31How's film class?
14:32Good.
14:34Yeah?
14:35Did you go to class today?
14:36Not really.
14:36Not really.
14:37Well, Britta's paying for those classes.
14:39Don't you think maybe you should go?
14:40I was shooting my movie.
14:41Yeah, but your movie's for class.
14:43My movie's more important.
14:44La la la.
14:46Someone order seven lattes?
14:48I got that.
14:49No, you don't got it.
14:50I got it, Abed.
14:52I got everything.
14:54What is wrong with you?
14:55All I want to do is take care of you.
14:57I know you're not stupid.
14:58Are you doing this on purpose?
15:00Yes.
15:03Why won't you answer me?
15:05Because this is the scene where you leave.
15:06You better believe it.
15:09Britta.
15:15What do you think, Dad?
15:16I think you are really weird, Abed.
15:20And I think the wrong person just left.
15:27Perfect.
15:27That's a wrap.
15:32That guy was your dad?
15:38Hey.
15:39Hey.
15:39You don't really have tickets for Ravi Shankar, do you?
15:42I lied to get you here.
15:44Because it's time to communicate.
15:46Communicate?
15:46Have you met Abed?
15:48It's not the two of you that need to talk.
15:50Hey, wait a minute.
15:51Where's Weezer?
15:52They're coming.
15:53All right.
15:54Now, the only reason why this whole mess got started is because both of you wanted the
15:58best for Abed.
15:59And I think the lesson we can all take away from this is that everyone should always do
16:04whatever they want and leave each other out of it.
16:09Is that your take?
16:10Let me give you mine.
16:12You and your pillow-leptic girlfriend got all up in my stuff because you wanted to be cowboys.
16:16And then you turn chicken when you found out it would take more than speeches and guided
16:21missiles.
16:22Interesting.
16:22I haven't seen the Iraq metaphor, but...
16:24What Iraq metaphor?
16:25I'm talking about your speeches and her guided...
16:28Got it.
16:29The point is, is that Britta is sorry, right?
16:31Wrong.
16:32Crap.
16:33Abed may not be a great filmmaker, but that doesn't mean that he wants to make falafel.
16:37You need to let him make his own decisions.
16:39Make his own decisions?
16:40Have you met Abed?
16:41You know who he is?
16:43Yes, I know.
16:43You have no...
16:44Guys, you're stupid.
16:45I'm finished.
16:48Britta, Jeff, Dad.
16:54Dad.
17:13How's it going, buddy?
17:15I don't want to be your father.
17:21I think you are weird, Abed.
17:23Okay, look.
17:24I need to talk to you about Abed.
17:25He's not normal.
17:30What is wrong with you?
17:31All I want to do is take care of you.
17:35Why will you not answer me?
17:45What do you think, Dad?
17:47I think you are weird, Abed.
17:50And I think the wrong person just left.
17:59He's not exactly citizen keen.
18:02He's not exactly citizen keen.
18:03He's not exactly citizen keen.
18:26I feel a little out of the loop here.
18:29That feeling is called the joy of freedom.
18:36The son is hard to understand.
18:39Whatever.
18:40If making movies help them be understood, then I pay for the class.
18:56with falafel as a fallback
19:03abed yeah did you do all of that to me on purpose but that's not a very nice way to
19:11treat your
19:11friends well britta it isn't called friend business it's called show business he's smoking
19:18honey let him leave the nest get your hand off of my knee
19:34god bless you god bless you thank you
19:39someone who doesn't like getting involved well i owe you you owe me that cannot be comfortable
19:47for you hey um you should kiss me right now
20:06day seized we're even
20:09a plus winger i know a life-changing kiss when i see one wowie
20:18yeah you
20:38Am I crumping?
20:39No.
20:39Am I crumping?
20:40No.
20:41Am I crumping now?
20:43No.
20:45This is crumping.
21:02We're crumping.
21:03No you're not.
21:07Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang bang bang!
21:23You
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