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مسلسل Community مترجم - Episode 2
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00:01Good afternoon, Greendale Community College.
00:03I am your dean with a few corrections to the fall class catalog.
00:08Cosmology should be cosmetology, astrology should be astronomy,
00:13and the students on the cover should be smiling, but I suppose that's a matter of opinion.
00:18Whoever is growing a small patch of cannabis behind the gymnasium,
00:22congratulations, you have won a cruise.
00:25Report to security to claim your tickets.
00:27In order to increase awareness of homelessness, security has been given binoculars.
00:32In campus news, the debate over our library's PA system continues,
00:37with some students suggesting its volume be lowered, while others question its very purpose.
00:42More on that story as it unfolds.
00:45That dude makes a lot of announcements.
00:47I like it. It makes every 10 minutes feel like the beginning of a new scene of a TV show.
00:50Of course, the illusion only lasts until someone says something they never say on TV,
00:53like how much their life is like TV. There, it's gone.
00:56I guess Jeff's running late again.
00:58Oh, what a shame. Maybe we should get started on you.
01:01Oh, no, no, no. I think we should wait for Jeff before we start studying.
01:05But maybe when Jeff gets here, we could talk to him as a group about his tardiness.
01:09Oh, come on now. Don't use that word around Abed.
01:12In any case, if you want me to have a chat with Jeff, I'd be happy to do it.
01:15We've got a bond going, kind of. Sort of like brothers.
01:18I hope your mom didn't make you take baths together, because one of you would have been like 30.
01:22That's funny.
01:22You know, Jeff probably comes late so he doesn't have to sit through all of your tardiness.
01:26Sorry, Abed.
01:28Okay. Well, you guys have some self-respect.
01:31You are obsessing over someone who does not give you a second thought.
01:34Meanwhile, in Guatemala, journalists are being killed by their own government.
01:38Baby, you jumped a column there. What's happening in Guatemala?
01:40Nothing. Journalists are being murdered?
01:44Believe me, every day in that country, people are being killed for speaking out.
01:48And the worst part of it is, when it's all over...
01:50Spoilers.
01:50It's gonna be as if it never even happened.
01:52Hey, Abed, real stories, they don't have spoilers.
01:57You understand that TV and life are different, right?
02:00Hey!
02:04My lady.
02:05My lord.
02:07Hey, baby.
02:08Hi, sweetie.
02:09You smell nice vitamin P.
02:11Morning, Jeffrey.
02:12People who are jazzed see me, too.
02:14Word-a-move!
02:16Good entrance.
02:22Britta?
02:23Hey, Jeff.
02:25Uh, I think there's something that the group would like to talk to you about.
02:28Actually, there's nothing more to say.
02:31Okay, if you're gonna study with people, it would be cool of you to show up on time.
02:35Oh, were you waiting?
02:36No.
02:37I just got here.
02:38Because you guys usually spend the first 20 minutes talking about your interesting personal
02:42lives and your cool emotional problems.
02:44And I just feel like I never have anything to offer.
02:47Aw.
02:48No, no.
02:48Truth is, my life is emptier than this three-ring binder.
02:53Annie, do you have any Spanish notes that might fit in there?
02:56Wow.
02:56Double spaced.
02:58So what's the guy gotta do to get a C around here?
03:00Yeah!
03:02Yeah!
03:03Yeah!
03:03One line.
03:05Give me some more time and a dream.
03:08Give me the hope to run out of steam.
03:11Somebody say, we could be here.
03:15We could be both, I'm tired, I'm better than you.
03:19I can't count the reasons I should stay.
03:24One by one, they all just fade away.
03:28One by one, they all just fade away.
03:33Study.
03:34Study.
03:35See you later.
03:35Bye.
03:37Hey, you know what today is?
03:39It's the two-week anniversary of my horrible first impression.
03:42There's a card for that?
03:43Well, not specifically, but if you think of grandsons as metaphors for friendship,
03:47I think you'll agree with this transformer here that it's time for ours to become a man
03:51by reading from the Torah.
03:53Look, Jeff, you're harmless enough to me because a life full of ups and downs has given me douche-ray
03:57vision,
03:57but those are good people in there, and they trust and respect you,
04:01and watching you exploit them kind of bums me out.
04:03Exploit them?
04:04They're my friends.
04:05Do I bring your car around, Jeff?
04:06No, I bet.
04:08I don't want you to bring my car around.
04:10I'll bring yours around, good guy.
04:12You get going, all right.
04:14You're cute, but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion.
04:21She said I was cute.
04:23Tell you what, you take her.
04:24I have less to prove.
04:25You know, Jeff, you can't pursue people so desperately.
04:28It starts to creep them out.
04:30Why don't we go get a beer?
04:31I'll give you some advice, and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest.
04:36I'm not much of a sausage guy, Pierce.
04:38Maybe next time.
04:40Next time, then.
04:43Hey.
04:46Britta, will you tell us more about Guatemala?
04:48I never went to a real college.
04:49I want to be political.
04:50Oh, that's good.
04:50You guys should discover that stuff on your own.
04:52Yeah, but we need your help.
04:54We've been living on the wrong side of the looking glass.
04:56You're like Jodie Foster.
04:58Or Susan Sarandon.
04:59You'd rather keep it real than be likable.
05:00Can you at least tell us what to Google?
05:02Uh, you could start with this journalist, Chakata Panacos.
05:05He wrote an article critical of the government, and they killed him.
05:08Oh!
05:08That's horrible.
05:09Can we have a protest?
05:10I want to protest a hell out of something.
05:12We could have a candlelight vigil like lesbians have on the news.
05:14I could make brownies!
05:18Brownies?
05:20Every once in a while, a student will come up to me and ask,
05:22Senor Chang, why do you teach Spanish?
05:28They say you're just like that.
05:30Why do you teach Spanish?
05:35Why you?
05:38Why not Matt?
05:42Why not photography?
05:46Why not martial arts?
05:49I mean, surely it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret,
05:56like, oh, building a wall that you can see from outer space.
05:59Well, I'll tell you why I teach Spanish.
06:02It is none of your business.
06:04Okay?
06:04And I don't want to have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am.
06:16I am a Spanish genius.
06:19In Espanol, my nickname is El Tigre Chino.
06:27Because my knowledge will bite her face off.
06:33So don't question Senor Chang or you'll get bit.
06:38Ya bit.
06:39Ya bit!
06:45Friday manana, we'll be having conversations with the rest of the class using some of the phrases we learned in
06:51Unit 1.
06:52You'll be partnering up in pairs of dos.
06:57So if you look under your desk, you'll find a card with either a picture or a word on it.
07:02Okay?
07:03For ejemplo, blondie aquí has a card with a picture of a house on it.
07:08So that means a person with a card with the word casa on it is her partner.
07:15Comprende, Starburns?
07:17Okay.
07:18See you Friday.
07:19Find your partners.
07:20Have a great day.
07:21And what do we say at the end of every class?
07:25Hasta luego.
07:27Come on, hands.
07:2890% of Spanish.
07:29Hasta luego.
07:32Excelente.
07:32Excelente.
07:33Good.
07:34I bet.
07:35I bet.
07:36Do you want to trade cards?
07:38No.
07:38I'll give you 20 bucks.
07:41No.
07:4250 bucks.
07:44I don't want your money.
07:44I want your shirt.
07:46What?
07:46I've had my eye on it since registration day.
07:50All right.
07:50Fine.
07:50Give me your card.
07:51I don't think you understand.
07:51I want to wear it out of here.
07:55Thanks.
07:55Gracias.
07:56Gracias.
07:57What are the odds?
07:59Are you sure you didn't adjust the odds?
08:01I know Ovid's been eyeing that shirt for three weeks.
08:04It's almost like you gave it to him so he would switch cards.
08:07Uh, I gave op-ed my shirt because I'm not selfish, which is something I guess you'll finally discover while
08:12we are working on this.
08:14Tomorrow night.
08:15Dinner.
08:16Drinks.
08:16I think that's something that we should discuss with our partners.
08:19Oh, see.
08:20I did switch cards.
08:25Can you leave this?
08:26What are the odds?
08:28It's a nice shirt.
08:30Want to sell it?
08:31Yes.
08:35What's the moist towelette industry like?
08:37Believe me, it's nothing like the product.
08:39No, it's a hard, dry, large business.
08:43Destroyed all my marriages.
08:44Of course, it didn't help any that I can't have children.
08:47I'm not sterile.
08:48In fact, it's a rare condition called hypervirility.
08:51Apparently, my sperm shoot through the egg like bullets.
08:55Can you believe that?
08:56I can't, but you can, so that's fine.
08:59So, the assignment is to write a Spanish conversation using those five phrases that...
09:05Ooh.
09:07Hemingway's lemonade.
09:08We don't need to make this a long evening.
09:10We can just...
09:10What am I, a piece of garbage to you?
09:12What?
09:14No.
09:17Got ya.
09:18Hey, come on.
09:19Let's have one drink before we work.
09:29To the empowerage of words.
09:31To the irony of that sentence.
09:35So, what's up with you, Jeffrey?
09:37It seems like you've got a burr up your ass or something.
09:41Well, um, I guess that it's, uh, I think it's Britta.
09:44Forget Britta.
09:45All you have to know about her is her name.
09:47What is she, a water filter?
09:48I mean, she's ugly.
09:50Okay.
09:53Why don't we start with me saying, don't they lie?
09:55What the hell are you doing?
09:57Our assignment.
09:58Oh, no, no, no.
09:59This is the first time people are gonna see Winger and Hawthorne together.
10:03We're gonna show them we're a force to be reckoned with.
10:05Come on, let's brainstorm some story ideas.
10:10Better yet, before we do that, let's ask ourselves...
10:15What is a story?
10:17Oh, my God in heaven.
10:19We hate!
10:21Guatemala, we hate!
10:25Guatemala, we hate!
10:27Guatemala, we hate!
10:27If you like that brownie, you're gonna hate what's going on in Guatemala, I'll tell you that.
10:30Google it!
10:31Oh, dang!
10:32Sorry to phrase the truth.
10:34Okay.
10:35Once it gets dark, I hand out the candles and we do what's called a speechless protest.
10:39We put tape over our mouths and gather hand in hand in a sea of outraged silence.
10:50Starburns, no.
10:51No.
10:53What's gotten into you?
10:55This is not how you do this.
10:56Well, we know it's not how you do it because we're doing everything.
10:58Yeah, but this is tacky and lame.
11:01I didn't mean that.
11:03I didn't mean that.
11:04I'm sorry.
11:04What I meant to say is that this cause is really personal to me.
11:08Are you saying that we're not allowed to protest?
11:13Britta, you sound like Guatemala.
11:15Sounds like somebody has the case of likes to use French politics to make themselves feel special,
11:19but doesn't actually ever want to do anything.
11:21No, I do things.
11:23I...
11:24I went to...
11:27I don't do anything.
11:32What can I do?
11:35You can hang the Chikata Panegos piñata.
11:37You guys realize he was beaten to death, right?
11:40That's where we got the idea from.
11:42Poignant.
11:43All right.
11:48Okay.
11:49Tell me what I've got so far.
11:51What we have so far?
11:52Well, we have something incredibly long and very confusing and a little homophobic.
11:58And really, really specifically, surprisingly, and gratuitously critical of Israel.
12:03And it's called Two Conquistadors.
12:05Should probably be Dos.
12:06I mean, it is a Spanish class.
12:07Oh, which reminds me, the only thing not included in this epic are the five phrases required
12:12to get me a passing grade.
12:16You're right.
12:17Needs more work.
12:18What are you guys doing?
12:19I have no idea.
12:20Well, we're heading to the demonstration.
12:22What, hippies?
12:22Some cause Britta's into.
12:24It's a silent protest.
12:25Lots of candles.
12:26Gets the ladies in the mood for social change, if you know what I mean.
12:28Good chance to put some miles on this shirt.
12:30You realize these conversations are due in the morning, don't you?
12:33Oh, yeah.
12:34Right.
12:37What do you want to do?
12:40Hola, me llamo Abed.
12:41Hola, me llamo Troy.
12:43¿Dónde está la biblioteca?
12:44La biblioteca está en la ciudad.
12:46Gracias.
12:49Acts.
12:50Okay.
12:51What are we going to do about the ending of Act Two?
12:54I'll tell you what we're going to do.
12:56We're going to take this and we're going to put it in a museum for crazy people.
13:01And then we're going to take this and memorize five phrases from it tomorrow morning before class.
13:06Good night.
13:08Wait a minute.
13:08Wait a minute.
13:08Wait a minute.
13:09You're bailing on our first sausage fest?
13:11This is your definition of friendship?
13:13No.
13:13This is my definition of you trying way too hard and me finding it harder and harder to stay polite.
13:19Now, this was a fine enough way to spend an evening devoid of hope.
13:23But the woman I kind of like is out there in the moonlight caring about something stupid.
13:27And this is my chance to show her that I care enough to act like I care about a two.
13:32That's all you had to say, Jeff.
13:33That was it?
13:34Oh, that would have been great if I had done that two hours ago.
13:39Let's go.
13:40Let's go.
13:45Let's go.
13:50Let's go.
13:51Let's go.
13:54Let's go.
14:01Let's go.
14:03Let's go.
14:05Let's go.
14:06Let's go.
14:06Let's go.
14:07Let's go.
14:07Let's go.
14:08Let's go.
14:08Let's go.
14:10Let's go.
14:11Let's go.
14:11Let's go.
14:12Let's go.
14:13Let's go.
14:13Let's go.
14:15Let's go.
14:20nice sign thanks i like what you've done with the place
14:26i think i was a little too harsh on you i'm not perfect
14:31i am i'd be happy to show you the ropes awesome look at awesome jeffrey winger
14:39too awesome for old pierce with your hip shirts and your your gelled hair and your cool tape over
14:49your mouth why is everybody wearing tape over their mouth it's a protest pierce oh good because i know
14:57what i'd like to protest how much you hurt me conflicts like these will ultimately bring us
15:01together as an unlikely family you have horrible breath right now first you constantly blow me off
15:07then you want me to do your homework then you tell me i'm trying too hard to be your friend
15:12so you
15:12have to go you have to come out here to 10 to care about the stupid stuff she cares about
15:19his words
15:20not mine he is paraphrasing pierce i got an idea why don't you go get a cup of coffee and
15:26hold some
15:26waitress hostage with a monologue about your sperm i'll show you some sperm buddy your idea
15:32what the hell are you what you're fired no i'm not ready to die
15:39uh he's he's he's jumping down he's fine
15:50have you seen it we did it girl page three it's up mostly about pierce but listen to that last
15:55paragraph
15:56the incident occurred during a protest regarding events in guatemala awareness and this isn't the
16:01school paper by the way this is a real damn paper there's a marma duke in there well it's more
16:04than
16:05i ever accomplished did you guys know about the ethnic cleansing in burma you need to bust out that
16:09brownie mix
16:15morning morning
16:18oh no i get it garfield's wishing me a happy arbor day and you'd like a fresh start
16:22nice try it's actually secretary's day and it says that i'm sorry about crashing your protest with that
16:27drunken self-immolating baby boomer we don't blame you sweetie pierce has always been on my watch list
16:31that dude is crazy he told me girls have two pee holes i sang christmas carols at a nursing home
16:36once
16:36i've seen the face of dementia and last night i saw it again you know what he did that's
16:42really crazy he offered me a hundred dollars to switch cards with him just so he could be
16:48partners with jeff i think he thought getting closer to jeff would bring him respect in the group
16:53i think he spent his whole life looking out for himself and he would trade it all for a shot
17:00at
17:00some kind of family
17:08hola class hola time for our presentations first up was supposed to be jeff and pierce
17:15but pierce explained the situation to me apparently there was a falling out things were set people were
17:22betrayed jeff having heard pierce's side of the story i think the only humane thing to do would
17:27be to give you a c and let pierce do his presentation alone if that sounds fair to you
17:37that doesn't sound fair to me at all pierce i understand if you don't want to be my friend
17:42but this thing that we've created it is bigger than the both of us and it deserves to be done
17:48right
17:55okay um guys why are there costumes involved these are short conversations they're not supposed to
18:00take your breath away well tough you ready amigo si
18:14it's not what you thought when you first begin
18:26you got what you want
18:35you can hardly stand it though but now you know it's not going to stop
18:51it's not going to stop
19:04to you one more time
19:25it's not going to stop
19:31F. F minus.
19:33What? What?
19:35Did you say S?
19:43So, that was one of the worst things I have ever seen,
19:46which I guess makes being a part of it a pretty selfless act.
19:50Oh, I'm impressed.
19:51Well, how do you know I didn't do it just to get another shot at you?
19:54Because a smart guy like you would know that no woman in that class
19:58would be able to look at you as a sexually viable candidate ever again.
20:04No, I know. I thought of that.
20:07You should look back.
20:10Ah!
20:12You did an all right job up there, my friend.
20:14Thanks, Pierce.
20:16A couple of notes.
20:16You've got this thing you do with your face when you're trying to be funny
20:19that forces people to think about how cool you think you are.
20:22It's really distracting me.
20:24No.
20:25You can't.
20:25Right.
20:27Hadi.
20:43Ti-bong la araña discoteca.
20:46Disco teca.
20:47Moineca.
20:48La biblioteca.
20:49Es un bigote grande pero manteka.
20:52Manteka.
20:52Bigote gigante.
20:54Pequeño.
20:54Cabeza is mi yepe, cerveza is bueno.
20:57Buenos días, me gustas papas frías, bigote de la cabra,
21:01it's Camarón Díaz.
21:03Yeah, we, we.
21:05What?
21:06It's 2009.
21:08Word.
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