#video #The Young and the Restless S53E134
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00:01Yes. Thank you. Charger to the room? Stephanie Simmons?
00:06Dr. Stephanie Simmons?
00:08Yes.
00:09As in, dear friends with Dr. Olivia Winters?
00:12How do you know Olivia?
00:13She would be my mother.
00:15Nate?
00:17Nate Hastings!
00:19Oh, my goodness!
00:21Olivia's son? Lily's cousin?
00:23Yeah.
00:24Come here!
00:28Oh, my goodness!
00:33Holden.
00:34Hi.
00:36Lily, hey.
00:38Are you meeting someone?
00:40Um, no, I'm on my own.
00:43If you'd like to search.
00:45Um, yeah.
00:48Yeah, I'll search. Thanks.
00:55So, um, have you heard from Malcolm with your kids?
01:01Um, no.
01:03Malcolm's in L.A. with them, but the test results aren't in yet.
01:07Which means, at this moment, Malcolm does not have a match.
01:11No, but, I mean, there could still be good news.
01:15Yeah.
01:16He really got hit with it, didn't he?
01:18Hmm.
01:19Your son is life-threatening disease.
01:22All at once.
01:23Yeah.
01:24Well, if anyone can handle it, he can.
01:27No, it's weird.
01:28Uh.
01:29What?
01:31How well you know him.
01:32You know, of course, you do.
01:34He's your biological father.
01:35You know, it just takes, it takes me a second to remember that he is mine, too.
01:44Even if I don't know him at all.
01:48Oh, my God.
01:51Oh, my God.
02:07Oh, my God.
02:21What time is it?
02:23BB&J time.
02:25The distance, you got two different jelly options there.
02:29Cut off the crust.
02:32Yeah, figured I'd use my time wisely
02:34while we waited for the second pregnancy test.
02:40Yeah.
02:42And?
02:46It's positive, too.
02:49Okay.
02:52So that's for sure.
02:54Yeah.
02:57Now the question is,
03:00what do we do next?
03:11How are you feeling?
03:14My stomach has settled.
03:16I'm actually hungry.
03:19It's cute, but I was talking right here.
03:23Here.
03:24Oh.
03:25That's amen.
03:26All feelings matter right now.
03:28So there's that.
03:31What about you?
03:33I could eat.
03:34Look.
03:37Billy, you have been so sweet and attentive.
03:40Thank you so much for fluffing my pillows
03:42and tucking me in my blanket,
03:44but you are a part of this equation, too.
03:46I know.
03:46It just feels weird to talk about myself right now.
03:48That's all.
03:48But I'm asking you.
03:50Okay.
03:53Well, not what I expected when I woke up this morning.
03:57No, I mean,
03:58considering we're supposed to be in London right now.
04:01Timing is probably the night that you came back
04:04after you moved out.
04:07Yeah.
04:08Yeah, that would make sense.
04:11You didn't think that maybe before today?
04:17I'm not really.
04:19I mean, maybe.
04:22And what made you think maybe?
04:24I've just been feeling so different.
04:27I mean, exhaustion is like I ran a marathon and...
04:32my stomach.
04:35And you've been here before.
04:38I have, yeah.
04:41So what's going through your head now?
04:48I don't know.
04:49The thoughts don't really slow down
04:51enough for me to process them.
04:53They're just kind of whizzing by.
04:54You don't have to answer anything right now.
04:57Okay, you have, you have time.
05:00You know, the brain is one thing,
05:02but when it comes to the kid, it's...
05:05Strange to the heart.
05:10I'm glad you came over.
05:11I would have never recognized you.
05:13What?
05:14You think I've changed?
05:15What?
05:15Since you was gay high?
05:17Absolutely.
05:20Olivia bragged about you,
05:21but she never told me
05:24that you grew up to be such a fine-looking young man.
05:28I heard your name,
05:29but I'm pretty sure I would have recognized your face anyway.
05:32Some of your lectures are online.
05:35Don't tell me you've seen them.
05:36And read your papers on blood diseases.
05:38Oh.
05:39Was that before or after you stepped away from medicine?
05:43Before, but I'm still a fan.
05:45My heart ached for you
05:47when I heard about your injury.
05:50Having to give up surgery
05:52must have been agony,
05:54but leaving medicine altogether,
05:56that was a choice.
05:58A hard one at that.
06:01Wow.
06:02My mother really told you all that.
06:03Mm-hmm.
06:04Medicine is what brought us together.
06:06It's part of our bond.
06:08You do know how proud of you
06:10your mother is, don't you?
06:12She adores you.
06:15Do you two talk often?
06:16Yeah.
06:17Not as much as I'd like,
06:19but when we do,
06:20it's partly about work.
06:22We mostly spend time chatting
06:24about our remarkable sons.
06:26Cheers.
06:27Cheers.
06:29It sounds strange
06:31to talk about our father.
06:36I know it's a lot to process,
06:39so we can go at whatever speed you want.
06:43Might as well dive in.
06:45Get the expert here.
06:47Meaning you want to know more about Malcolm?
06:50Yeah.
06:52Okay.
06:54Well, he is my biological father,
06:58but my dad will always be Neil Winters.
07:02The portrait in the Jazz Lounge.
07:05Yes.
07:06And Malcolm was at the dedication
07:07because he is my dad's brother.
07:13Sounds like there's a story there.
07:14Yeah.
07:15There always is.
07:17We could circle back,
07:19or not.
07:21No, I mean,
07:22I think the important thing for you to know
07:24is that Malcolm,
07:26he's a really good man.
07:29My mother said the same.
07:31That's pretty much all she said.
07:32That,
07:33that and they lost touch.
07:36Well, I mean,
07:36that can happen with Malcolm.
07:38Not because he doesn't care.
07:40It's just,
07:41you know,
07:42he's drawn to adventure,
07:44which I think is why he chose photography,
07:46so he could travel the world.
07:49How is he going to handle
07:50not being able to travel?
07:51With all the treatment
07:53that he'll need
07:53if he gets a match.
07:55When he gets a match,
07:57he won't be able to jet off.
08:00I mean,
08:01honestly,
08:01I think he sees this treatment
08:03as its own kind of adventure.
08:05I mean,
08:06that's just
08:06the kind of optimist he is,
08:09which I think you
08:10kind of have to be
08:11to face the unknown
08:12the way that he does.
08:13I mean,
08:14look how he handled you and I
08:15not being a match,
08:16right?
08:16I mean,
08:16he just
08:18keeps the faith
08:19and just believes
08:20that things are meant to work out
08:22the way they're supposed to.
08:23Yeah,
08:23but,
08:24you know,
08:25some things don't work out.
08:27Yeah,
08:28but Malcolm doesn't see
08:29the world that way.
08:30You know,
08:31he just
08:31believes that
08:32things can be better,
08:34people can do better,
08:37and I don't know,
08:38I think he thinks that
08:39because
08:40of his own life.
08:42He's had a lot of rough spots
08:43that he's not proud of.
08:46There's something else
08:47that we can circle back to.
08:48Well,
08:48you know,
08:49you two will have
08:49your own conversation,
08:51I'm sure,
08:52where you can both talk about
08:53who you both are,
08:55if that's
08:56what you want.
08:57Yeah,
08:58well,
08:58he's got a lot
08:59going on right now
09:00and I assume that his
09:02treatment will be in
09:03New York.
09:04Yeah,
09:05I mean,
09:05I wish he would get
09:06his treatment here.
09:07I told him that.
09:09Is there any way
09:09that you could talk him
09:10into it?
09:11Or maybe,
09:12maybe once he's well,
09:13he can move back
09:13to Genoa City.
09:22Isn't this a treat?
09:24Dinner with Olivia Sun.
09:27So,
09:28what brings you to town,
09:30Dr. Simmons?
09:30Oh,
09:31no,
09:31you didn't.
09:32Now,
09:33you don't have to call me
09:33Auntie Stephanie,
09:35but you're definitely
09:36not calling me doctor.
09:37Understood.
09:39What brings you back
09:40to Genoa City?
09:41Stephanie.
09:43It was time.
09:44So,
09:45you haven't been back
09:45since you moved away?
09:46Feels like forever.
09:48After all,
09:49I mean,
09:49this is where
09:50my life started.
09:51My career took off.
09:54Lifelong connections.
09:55Then,
09:56memories,
09:56or what brought you back?
09:57Only partly.
09:59I'm actually here
10:00to see my son.
10:01You might know him.
10:02Hoden Novak.
10:05Hoden is your son?
10:06Yes.
10:07Have you two met?
10:08Uh,
10:09a few times.
10:10Oh,
10:11that's wonderful.
10:12I don't know him well,
10:13though.
10:14Maybe that can change
10:15down the road.
10:17All right,
10:18so,
10:19uh,
10:19what should we have?
10:21Hmm.
10:25Look,
10:26Malcolm is
10:27a free spirit.
10:29He has always been that way.
10:31But he doesn't have to be
10:33in physical proximity
10:35with someone
10:35to feel close to them.
10:37You know,
10:37his love and affection
10:38can be there,
10:40even if he isn't.
10:42But you do still wish
10:44that he got his medical care in here.
10:47Yeah.
10:48But,
10:48I mean,
10:49it doesn't matter
10:50what I think.
10:51You know,
10:51at the end of the day,
10:52he has to feel comfortable.
10:54I've dealt with
10:54my own medical issues
10:56and I understand
10:56how important it is
10:58to be comfortable
10:58in your surroundings
10:59for your recovery.
11:01So,
11:02you know,
11:03if that's New York for him,
11:04then so be it.
11:07But,
11:08at the end of the day,
11:08we still have to find him a match.
11:11That's what it all goes back to.
11:14Yeah.
11:17Makes sense, though,
11:18that
11:19you want him
11:20to be close to you.
11:21I was just,
11:23I was just asking
11:24since you mentioned it.
11:25Okay,
11:25well then I'll just
11:26ask you directly.
11:29Are you hoping
11:30to have a relationship
11:31with him?
11:36Mint tea,
11:37easy on the stomach,
11:38no caffeine.
11:42It's a far cry
11:43from sipping champagne
11:44on the jet,
11:45isn't it?
11:47And I promise you
11:48I will not have sushi
11:49until you're able to.
11:52You're avoiding me.
11:54I'm right here.
11:56But you're not telling me
11:57how you really feel.
12:00Look,
12:01I get I can't make you open up
12:02and I know it's a lot to process,
12:03but
12:06I'm just feeling really alone
12:08right now
12:09and that is not a judgment
12:10or a criticism on you at all.
12:11I just
12:14maybe it's a request.
12:17Can you please be here
12:19in this
12:21with me?
12:24So Audra didn't come over
12:26for work today,
12:26did she?
12:28She brought you a test,
12:29is that what happened?
12:32I just needed an answer
12:33before I said anything.
12:35And then you kicked me out
12:37because you needed a friend.
12:40Yeah.
12:42I get it.
12:44You wanted that friend
12:46to be you.
12:48It's a thought.
12:52Okay.
12:55I don't know, okay?
12:57I thought I was protecting you.
13:00I just didn't want you
13:01to go on this roller coaster
13:02with me until I knew for sure.
13:04You don't have to talk about it.
13:05No, we, we...
13:07We do, okay?
13:08Because we're both
13:09in this together.
13:12You woke up this morning
13:14and you had your suspicions
13:16and you called Audra
13:17and I get that.
13:18I understand
13:19why you would
13:22want to wait to tell me
13:23that you were pregnant.
13:25It was all out of love.
13:26I'm not being defensive, okay?
13:28I'm really not.
13:29Yeah.
13:33But you were afraid
13:35to tell me
13:36that you were pregnant.
13:39And if that's the case,
13:41then what does that say
13:42about us
13:43going forward?
13:51I want to be someone
13:52you can count on.
13:53You are, Billy.
13:55And I do, okay?
13:57I absolutely know
13:58what a wonderful father you are.
14:00You don't have to bolster my ego.
14:02You must be coming out.
14:02Hey, I'm not doing that, okay?
14:06I'm not.
14:07I'm just telling you
14:07what I see.
14:08And I see a very loving
14:10and sweet
14:11and protective man
14:12who looks after
14:13the children
14:14in his life.
14:15Johnny
14:15and Katie
14:16and Connor.
14:17Even after everything
14:18that happened
14:19with Chelsea
14:20and Adam.
14:21Well, I love them.
14:23When you love something,
14:24you take care of it.
14:27I love you.
14:29And I want to do that
14:30for you.
14:32You've been such a gift to me,
14:34one that I did not expect.
14:36Of course, you're brave
14:37and you're strong,
14:38but it's your heart.
14:39It's massive.
14:41And it's open.
14:42Even though it's been
14:43knocked around
14:44more than once,
14:47you need to know
14:47that you're never
14:48going to be alone
14:50again, okay?
14:52Unless you want to,
14:53unless you need to,
14:55then I'll be right there
14:57supporting you
14:57and watching you
14:59and do your thing.
15:02But if you need someone,
15:04I'm not going anywhere.
15:08Come here.
15:15One...
15:21One of the things
15:22that I talked to
15:25Audra about,
15:26one of the reasons
15:27why I didn't tell you
15:28when I woke up this morning...
15:31Yeah.
15:33Yeah.
15:38I'm sorry, Sohelly.
15:41You've...
15:41You've already been
15:43there so much
15:44with Delia.
15:46And we...
15:48lost the two most
15:50precious little people.
15:54I mean,
15:55how can we face
15:56that chance again?
16:02A relationship
16:03with Malcolm.
16:06I don't even know
16:07what that looks like.
16:09Well,
16:10makes sense
16:10that you would want one.
16:11Does it?
16:14I guess
16:15it's a little late.
16:16I mean,
16:17the man is sick
16:18and he has other things
16:19on his mind.
16:20Yeah,
16:20but it doesn't mean
16:21that you're not too.
16:22He wouldn't want you
16:22to think that way.
16:23I don't resent him
16:24and I don't blame him.
16:26It's nothing like that.
16:28But my mother...
16:29My mother holding this back
16:31and not telling me
16:31until Malcolm
16:32needed something,
16:33I don't know
16:34how to feel
16:34about that part.
16:37Look,
16:38I know that Stephanie
16:41feels like a weight
16:42has been lifted,
16:43but she also feels
16:45a lot of remorse, too.
16:46And I hate
16:47to be mad at her,
16:48but...
16:48And I know,
16:49I know how heavy
16:50that secret is to carry.
16:51It's okay.
16:52It's your life.
16:53You can feel
16:53however you want to feel.
16:55Except I'm not sure
16:56what that is.
16:57I get it, okay?
16:58You're feeling
16:59a lot of emotions
17:00and it's scary.
17:02Because when you've
17:03spent your life
17:03trying to keep
17:05things drama-free,
17:06feeling all this anger,
17:08it's uncomfortable.
17:09Well, if you're
17:10trying to tell me
17:10that it's okay
17:11for me to be angry
17:12at my mother,
17:14I'm not sure
17:15I could fight it
17:16if I tried.
17:18Tell me about
17:19your new career.
17:21You know,
17:21you look like a man
17:22who's pretty happy
17:23with his life.
17:25Uh, business is great.
17:28Working at Winters
17:29with my family,
17:29that's going well.
17:31But, uh,
17:32growing up,
17:33seeing what people
17:34like my mom and you
17:35brought to this world,
17:36I couldn't wait
17:36to do the same.
17:38I loved being a doctor
17:39for a long time.
17:42But I'm not sure
17:44I ever developed
17:45a layer that gets you
17:47through the loss
17:48of a patient.
17:49A painful fact
17:50for all of us.
17:52Maybe that's why
17:53when surgery
17:54was no longer
17:55an option,
17:55I was able to move on.
17:56Ooh.
17:57People get saved
17:58through medicine
17:59without surgery
18:00every day.
18:01But I love
18:02what I do now, too.
18:03Good.
18:03Get to work
18:04with my family,
18:05you know,
18:06building a legacy,
18:08creating jobs
18:08where people
18:09can pay the mortgage,
18:11go to a doctor,
18:13buy groceries.
18:14I found satisfaction
18:15and purpose.
18:16And like you said,
18:17I'm happy.
18:18And I have
18:19great appreciation
18:20for medical professionals
18:22still in it.
18:22fighting in the good fight.
18:24Against disease,
18:26fear,
18:26injury,
18:28neglect,
18:29and also time.
18:31But when it works,
18:33when you get to keep
18:35another soul in this world
18:37to watch another sunset,
18:39to have one more day
18:41with the people
18:42in their hearts,
18:43it's science, yes,
18:46but it's also magic.
18:48But you're right.
18:50When it doesn't work,
18:51when you can't pull it off,
18:53when the universe
18:54doesn't respond
18:56to our efforts,
18:58it's nothing worse.
19:01How am I supposed to feel
19:02when I look back
19:03at my childhood?
19:04I hated being the kid
19:05whose dad was dead,
19:07and that is exactly
19:08what I was.
19:09My teachers knew it,
19:11students knew it,
19:12their parents knew it.
19:14And sure,
19:14there were a bunch of parents
19:15who were divorced,
19:16and maybe some kid's parent
19:18traveled for work,
19:19but there was no one else
19:20like me.
19:21The kid with the dead dad.
19:25And sure,
19:26you know,
19:26I heard all of the stories
19:28about the great
19:28Dr. Jerry Novak,
19:30and I saw the photos.
19:33But when I heard
19:34other kids talking
19:35about their fathers,
19:38when I saw how their dads
19:39would show up
19:40to their school performances
19:42or their games,
19:46my mother doesn't know us.
19:47I used to lie
19:49about my father,
19:51pretending that he was alive.
19:53That he was this amazing guy.
19:55I'm making up
19:56all these stories
19:57about the things
19:59we would do together
20:01fishing,
20:03playing catch.
20:04It must have been
20:05really lonely,
20:07feeling like you had to
20:08hide the truth
20:09about your life.
20:11It was easier
20:11than being pitied.
20:14Having a dead parent,
20:15it's the kind of thing
20:16that kids worry
20:17is contagious,
20:19as if it's something
20:20that they could catch
20:20and that could happen
20:21to them.
20:24Look,
20:25you can't
20:26undo
20:27those moments
20:28of loneliness.
20:30but Malcolm
20:31is a good person.
20:32He's someone
20:33you can talk to.
20:35You know,
20:35and he'll want
20:36what's best for you,
20:37whatever that will look like.
20:38But we won't get
20:39those years back,
20:40will we?
20:42And we don't know
20:43how many more
20:43we have left,
20:44do we?
20:45I mean,
20:46that is the reality
20:46that we're talking
20:47about here, right?
20:48that Malcolm and I
20:49were both
20:51robbed.
20:52And that won't
20:53ever change.
21:00Remember when we were
21:01just two people
21:01that didn't know
21:01each other very well?
21:03We had too much
21:04in common.
21:06Yeah.
21:07We had a lot of talks
21:08when Adam and Chelsea
21:09were in Baltimore,
21:11telling ourselves
21:12and each other
21:13that everything
21:13was going to be okay.
21:15and stories.
21:18And Ava.
21:20And you understood.
21:22Because Adelia.
21:26Still dreaming about her.
21:28The age that she was,
21:30the age that she would be now.
21:32You ever?
21:36Yeah.
21:38Ava would be
21:39turning three.
21:43Sometimes I swear
21:45I
21:47I can hear her
21:48in my dreams.
21:50Her laugh.
21:52Her
21:54talking
21:54and my whole body
21:55just knows it's her.
21:59I like to think
22:00that Adelia's with Catherine.
22:03I hope she's proud of me.
22:06How could she not be?
22:09Because I've failed her siblings.
22:12I don't need you
22:13to defend me.
22:13I'm just saying it's true.
22:15You know?
22:16And I've made mistakes.
22:20I've said things.
22:21I've done things.
22:22I've
22:24reacted in
22:24in ways.
22:27Cared more about myself
22:28than I did them.
22:30And I'm not
22:31I'm beating myself up
22:33but I'm also not
22:33letting myself off the hook.
22:35I mean, I'm human.
22:37I'm making mistakes
22:38but
22:40my father
22:42that's why I need
22:43to try harder.
22:47I'm so afraid
22:48of failure sometimes.
22:51You know,
22:52when you're a father
22:52you
22:53or you're a parent
22:56you quickly realize
22:57that it's not about you
22:58and you gotta get
22:58the hell out of the way
23:00for their sake.
23:04So that's me.
23:07that's where I'm at.
23:09But you gotta trust me
23:10when I tell you
23:11it's your feelings
23:12that matter the most.
23:14It's not just me.
23:16Listen,
23:16your heart takes priority,
23:17okay?
23:18Because you carried Ava
23:19and you didn't get
23:20to raise her.
23:24So you gotta be thinking
23:25about that again.
23:28And
23:29I'm telling you that
23:30if we can do
23:30everything right
23:33and still
23:37are you willing
23:38to risk that again?
23:42So
23:43I really think that
23:45Devon and Nate
23:45need to know.
23:47About me?
23:48Yeah.
23:49I mean,
23:49they're a family.
23:51Nate and I
23:51have a biological
23:52connection
23:53because
23:53his mom
23:54and my mom
23:55were sisters.
23:56And then my family
23:58adopted Devon
23:58when he was a teenager.
24:00So
24:01I'm not blood related then?
24:03Blood,
24:04no.
24:05But
24:05Malcolm was married
24:07to Nate's mom,
24:08Olivia.
24:08So
24:09they're gonna see you
24:10as extended family.
24:12You don't
24:13you don't know that?
24:14Yeah,
24:15that's just the way
24:15it is with our family.
24:16There's no guarantees
24:17that that'll be the case
24:18this time.
24:19Well,
24:20I do think
24:21that they need to know.
24:23And
24:23I would love to tell them
24:24as soon as possible.
24:26Like
24:27now
24:27if that's okay.
24:28And you want me to be there
24:29when you tell them?
24:30I mean,
24:30I think that's best,
24:32don't you?
24:33I mean
24:35the best is
24:36beyond me
24:36right now
24:37and so is the worst
24:38for that matter.
24:39I just know that I
24:42want to be in the loop
24:43from now on.
24:46Okay.
24:46So
24:48can I call them
24:49right now?
24:51There's no time
24:53like the present.
24:55So I heard
24:56the movie theater
24:57is now a cafe.
25:01I'm sorry.
25:02Do you mind?
25:02This might be work.
25:04Sure.
25:04Go ahead.
25:07Hey, Lily.
25:08What's going on?
25:08Hey,
25:09I need to see you
25:10and Devon
25:10if you have time.
25:12Everything okay?
25:13A family meeting.
25:14Not business,
25:15but sooner is better.
25:16So,
25:17can you come to society?
25:19Uh,
25:19yeah.
25:20Give me a few.
25:21I'll see you soon.
25:21Okay.
25:22Bye.
25:24Everything okay?
25:26Yeah.
25:26Sorry about that,
25:27Stephanie.
25:28That was my cousin,
25:29Lily.
25:29I need to head out
25:30to meet with her.
25:31You've been wonderful,
25:32Nate.
25:33Look,
25:34I hope I run into you
25:35before you leave.
25:36That would be lovely.
25:37Well,
25:38don't you be late.
25:38Count on me.
25:39I'll take care of the check.
25:41It's already taken care of.
25:42You shouldn't have.
25:44You're my mother's dear friend.
25:46We're practically family.
25:47Come on.
25:49Anytime.
25:50See you soon?
25:51Yes.
26:20Hey.
26:26Thomas.
26:27Um,
26:28so,
26:28Colton and I
26:29found out some
26:30news recently.
26:33Um,
26:34turns out
26:35that
26:37Malcolm
26:38is
26:39his biological father.
26:42So,
26:43we are
26:44half siblings.
26:46Malcolm.
26:48Malcolm is your father.
26:49According to who?
26:51That would be my mother,
26:52Stephanie Simmons.
26:53She used to live here
26:54and she,
26:55she knew Malcolm
26:56and your parents
26:57and
26:58Nate's mom.
26:59So,
26:59you're saying this happened
27:00while Malcolm was
27:01still married to Olivia?
27:02He wouldn't.
27:03He didn't.
27:04My mother was,
27:05uh,
27:06she had left town
27:07by the time Olivia
27:08and Malcolm got together.
27:09That's why she was in town.
27:10Your mother.
27:12I was just
27:13with Stephanie.
27:15Sorry,
27:15Dr. Simmons.
27:17Because of her
27:17connection to my mom.
27:19She mentioned Holden
27:21but she never
27:21mentioned Malcolm.
27:22So,
27:23hang on,
27:23you just found this out?
27:25Your mother came
27:26to tell me.
27:27Malcolm just found out
27:28as well.
27:29He just happened
27:30to be in town too?
27:31It's a lot of coincidences.
27:33Well,
27:33Stephanie has her reasons
27:34for sharing it
27:35but the point is,
27:36is that
27:38Holden is family
27:39to me now
27:40so he's
27:41family
27:41to all of us.
27:44Look,
27:44I'm sure you have
27:45a lot of questions
27:46but you know
27:47almost everything
27:47that we do,
27:48so.
27:48Oh,
27:49we know
27:49almost everything?
27:51That'll
27:51have to be
27:52enough for now.
27:54Now that you
27:55have the headlines,
27:56I'll,
27:57I'll give you
27:57some privacy.
27:58No,
27:58you don't have to leave.
27:59No,
27:59it's fine.
28:00Another one I can update
28:01and I'm sure,
28:03I'm sure you would
28:04all like to talk.
28:11So,
28:12tell me how you
28:13really feel.
28:17you've always known
28:19what losing
28:20Ava did to me.
28:23Feeling like
28:23I was never
28:24going to be
28:24whole again.
28:26Feeling like
28:27I was
28:29marked.
28:30Like people
28:31would just look
28:31at me
28:31and they would
28:32just know
28:32that I was
28:33broken.
28:39when I lost
28:40Ava.
28:41I lost
28:42myself.
28:45And a million
28:46little moments
28:46that we were
28:47never going to
28:47get to have
28:48together.
28:50And I know
28:52that I would
28:53have messed up
28:53as her mom.
28:56I know it
28:56and I would
28:57have tried
28:58to do better.
29:02But either way,
29:03I would have
29:03loved her
29:04with all of
29:04my heart.
29:09But I
29:10never got
29:10that chance.
29:14I survived.
29:18And I felt
29:19so guilty
29:20and ashamed
29:21for surviving.
29:32I'm grateful
29:33you're here.
29:36How do I
29:37do it again?
29:41What if
29:42all I feel
29:43is fear?
29:45I mean,
29:46what does that
29:46do to the baby?
29:48What if I can't
29:49dream?
29:50Or what if I
29:50can't hope?
29:51Or what if I
29:51can't get
29:53excited?
29:54And if I do
29:55get excited
29:56and I do
29:57dream
29:58and I do
30:00fall in love
30:02before she
30:03hear?
30:12I do know
30:13What if it
30:13happens again?
30:21I do know
30:23that you're
30:23going to be
30:26there.
30:28being with you
30:28Sally
30:31is all I
30:32can ask
30:32for.
30:41But you
30:42didn't tell me
30:42that you
30:43were seeing
30:43Nate.
30:44I didn't know
30:45it myself.
30:45I was at the
30:47bar having a
30:47drink.
30:48He heard my
30:48name.
30:49We just
30:49started talking.
30:51And he
30:52didn't say
30:52anything about
30:53how I rubbed
30:53him and
30:53Devon the
30:54wrong way,
30:54huh?
30:56When?
30:57How?
30:58Son, are you
30:59just making
30:59assumptions?
31:00Because he
31:01didn't say
31:01anything like
31:02that.
31:02That's fair.
31:03It's just
31:04that I have
31:04history with
31:05some people
31:06here, which
31:06means I
31:07might not be
31:07on the
31:08invite list
31:08for the
31:08family dinner
31:09any time
31:10soon.
31:12If ever.
31:14So, you're
31:15calling Holden
31:16family, but
31:17like Tucker
31:18is technically
31:19our family.
31:20So, you
31:20get where I'm
31:21going with
31:21this, right?
31:21Yes.
31:22Okay.
31:23What are you
31:24thinking where
31:24Holden's
31:25concerned?
31:25I don't know.
31:26I mean, there's
31:27time to figure
31:28that out.
31:29I say this
31:30with love and
31:30respect, but
31:31Damien is proof
31:32that time isn't
31:33infinite.
31:34And I'm not
31:34trying to push
31:35you one way
31:35or the other,
31:36Lily, but
31:38you know what?
31:39Forget I said
31:39anything.
31:40This is your
31:41decision.
31:41No, I agree
31:43about the time
31:44thing, but I
31:44just, I have a
31:47lot that I'm
31:47thinking about
31:48right now.
31:48So, everything
31:49else will have
31:50to wait.
31:50Is this about
31:51Cain again?
31:52What's he done
31:52now?
31:53No, it's not
31:54Cain.
31:55Well, then it's
31:56gotta be about
31:56Malcolm.
31:57The guy shows
31:58up to town and
31:59then leaves right
31:59away.
32:00You know, he
32:00had a son he
32:00didn't know
32:00about that's
32:01here.
32:02Is Devon
32:02right?
32:04We can't help
32:05unless you tell
32:05us.
32:11It's Malcolm.
32:12I've taken
32:12this.
32:16Malcolm, hi.
32:16Um, did you
32:18get the
32:19information?
32:22What were the
32:23results?
32:33You know, people
32:34don't mean any
32:34harm.
32:37But when you
32:38lose a child and
32:39someone says, I
32:40can't imagine,
32:41they're right, I
32:42can't.
32:43You might be a
32:45fear in the
32:45back of your
32:45head, but it's
32:49a million times
32:50worse than that
32:51fear.
32:54Yeah, that's
32:55true.
32:57If the best
32:57happens instead
32:58of the worst, and
33:00you get to carry
33:01that little life in
33:02your hands, you
33:05got a chance to
33:05do everything
33:06right, but you're
33:09still going to
33:09fumble her now
33:10and again.
33:13Well, being
33:14human means making
33:15mistakes.
33:17Being a parent
33:18means trying to
33:19do better.
33:21No, that's
33:22good.
33:22That's profound.
33:23Who said that?
33:25Steal that one.
33:26I will write it
33:27down for you
33:28later.
33:32Appreciate you.
33:37Can we do the
33:38rest of this
33:38later, too?
33:41Talking, thinking,
33:42figuring out what
33:42comes next.
33:45We'll go side
33:46by side as a
33:48team.
33:49Make that sound
33:50like a question.
33:52That's a
33:52certain.
33:54We will go
33:55side by side as
33:58a team.
34:00Always.
34:06This is none
34:07of your doing
34:08or choice.
34:08It was all
34:09mine.
34:09So if you need
34:10me to help you
34:10to smooth things
34:11out...
34:12What does that
34:12say if I need
34:13my mother to
34:13handle this for
34:14me?
34:15Whatever happens,
34:17it'll be okay.
34:20Now you sound
34:20like Malcolm.
34:22I sound like a
34:23man I don't
34:23really know.
34:24But you will.
34:26And this family
34:27of his, they...
34:28Your family?
34:29They have a lot
34:31to deal with.
34:32So do you.
34:33Mom, I am not
34:34one of them.
34:36And maybe it's
34:38better that way.
34:41Give yourself
34:42time to work
34:43through this.
34:45As I imagine,
34:46they will do
34:47the same.
34:52Neither of the
34:53kids?
34:56No, I mean
34:57that...
34:57Yeah, it's okay.
34:58We'll just...
34:59We'll move on
34:59to the next
34:59option.
35:02Yeah, I'm
35:02actually...
35:04I'm here with
35:04Devon and Nate
35:05and it would be
35:06a lot easier.
35:09Yeah.
35:11I love you.
35:20Okay.
35:26Hey.
35:28Hey.
35:29What's up?
35:31Hey.
35:32Hey.
35:32Hey.
35:37Hey.
35:58Join us again for the Young and the Restless.
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