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Beauty and the Beast X Parody (1988) [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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03:47¡Gracias!
04:22¡Gracias!
04:25¡Gracias!
04:27¡Gracias!
04:29¡Gracias!
04:30¡Gracias!
04:31¡Gracias!
04:31¡Gracias!
04:31Lyle not a penny started to make his way home.
04:34He had done quite poorly in his peddling,
04:37and to top it all off,
04:39a very clever con man had taken his last penny.
04:42He had sold him some beans.
04:45He had heard about a man, Jack,
04:47who climbed a beanstalk
04:48and made a fortune,
04:50but stupid Lyle
04:52didn't realize it was just a fairy tale.
05:02Finally, just when his tired feet could carry him no more,
05:06he came upon a beautiful castle.
05:14I wonder if the friendly baron
05:17dwells therein...
05:19Dost thou mind?
05:22Thank you.
05:26I wonder if the friendly baron
05:30dwells therein that might take a poor traveler
05:33who's had a long and weary voyage here.
05:38I'll check therein and see.
05:40Si.
05:44Such are the wages of chivalry.
05:47You're a knight in shitty armor.
05:56As Shakespeare will say,
05:58in about two hundred years,
05:59me thinks you'll protest too much.
06:01Why do you resist me so?
06:03After all, we're the same, you and I.
06:06Poor and passionate.
06:08I'll do better than you.
06:10You just wait and see.
06:12One day my love will come here
06:13and take me away from all this.
06:15But not before kicking your ass.
06:17We've worked here in close quarters for three years,
06:20and you still prefer some phantom prince to me.
06:23After all, a cock in the hand is worth two in the bush.
06:27That's a bird, you lowlife.
06:29Everyone has their pet name for it.
06:33You know what you are?
06:34You're a knave and a scoundrel.
06:38You know my goal is to leave this dump
06:40and to marry someone like our master,
06:43a handsome prince.
06:45But he isn't handsome.
06:46He's beastly.
06:49No, but deep inside he's beautiful.
06:53You'll say.
06:54Get back to work.
06:56I don't pay you sixpence a week
06:57to rut like weasels on my floor.
06:59Yes, my lord.
07:00Yes, my lord.
07:25Yes, my lord.
07:51Yes, my lord.
07:58¡Gracias por ver el viaje!
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12:38No, no, no, no, no.
12:38I don't understand you.
12:40You're always complaining about when I make a word.
12:43You shouldn't do that.
12:44Yes.
12:44Sherwood Force is a word.
12:46What's the matter with you?
12:47Just like a word.
12:48I win.
12:48Come on.
12:49Did I tell you that I have a new set of thumbscrews?
12:53Oh!
12:55Looks good to me.
12:57Yes.
12:58I win again.
12:59You win again.
12:59That's right.
13:00Stupid me.
13:02Another mistake.
13:04Well, it's getting late.
13:06I'm going to have to give it up.
13:07Oh, we're bad here.
13:08Come on.
13:09We can play another game.
13:10It was over so fast.
13:11Oh, that's...
13:12No, you're just too good.
13:14I'm losing everything.
13:15It's stupid me.
13:16You make all these mistakes.
13:18But you're improving.
13:19Look, you got wife here.
13:21Yeah, I got wife.
13:23Well, I think I should just leave it at that, you know, and take off to bed.
13:27I'm not so good.
13:28I sort of warned you before.
13:29I'm not really good at games.
13:31And you're really good, boy.
13:33I'll tell you.
13:33You're the best I've ever run across.
13:35All right.
13:37Mr. Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Mother of God.
13:41I'll join you for breakfast at dawn on the very early risers.
13:45Oh, good.
13:46Lord Beast.
13:48Thank you.
13:50Tomorrow?
13:55Sure was a word, huh?
13:57It's crazy.
13:58That's crazy.
14:03That guy is ugly.
14:07How the hell am I ever going to get to sleep?
14:12Hades, Hades, Hades.
14:16Up walking all day long, trying to sell leeches.
14:19Doesn't do a bit of good.
14:20Nobody wants leeches in this day and time.
14:25Oh, I get to think of something beautiful.
14:27I don't want to have nightmares all night long.
14:29Nightmares, I hate nightmares.
14:31I think of being shish kebab by unicorns.
14:35Gremlins.
14:38I know.
14:41I'll think of my daughter, Beauty.
14:44No.
14:45This time of night, I better not think of Beauty.
14:49I know.
14:51I'll think of the Queen.
14:55She a little high there, maybe.
14:58I know.
15:00I'll think of that whore at Wimbledon.
15:03After the tennis.
15:05I was happy to be leaving that ugly baron's domain.
15:09Goodbye, Lord Beast.
15:10Beast and Thunder.
15:11Thanks a lot.
15:14You won't regret taking those leeches off my hand.
15:17They're good steel.
15:26As Lyle was about to leave the grounds of Beastland, he passed a rosebush filled with beautiful pink roses.
15:34Remembering the request of his daughter, Beauty, he plucked one of the roses.
15:45Hey.
15:46Hey.
15:49Who gave you permission to pick that rose?
15:51Well, I just thought it was, you know...
15:53I give you room and board.
15:55My maid bucks your brains out.
15:56And you steal a rose from me.
15:59I should put you in my dungeon and give you a good thrashing.
16:02Well, I meant no harm.
16:02It's just that my beautiful, beauteous daughter, Beauty, asked that I bring her a rose.
16:07A little, nice little rose.
16:08Uh, you know, I can't give my daughter the finer things in life, you know, to help her.
16:13Very well, very well.
16:14I'll not thrash you.
16:17You're a beautiful human being, you know?
16:19Unconditioned.
16:20That's a beautiful daughter, Beauty.
16:22Visit my home for a few days.
16:26Oh, well, Beauty is very fine and delicate.
16:28I'm afraid that she would be maybe a little afraid, you understand?
16:34Yeah, you understand.
16:38Did I mention to you that I have snakes in my dungeon?
16:42Uh, Beauty, be right over.
16:44Take the first ox cart down.
16:45I'll send it right over.
16:46All right, good.
16:47And if you don't make good on your promise...
16:50I'll find it.
16:52Yes, sir.
16:53Sire.
16:57Have a nice day.
17:05Dodgers, I pretend.
17:06Oh, Father, Father, I have missed you so.
17:10Beauty.
17:12Look what I have brought you.
17:14Oh, it's so beautiful.
17:17Smell it.
17:20Where is Eliza?
17:22Well, where else?
17:34Sit down, Beauty.
17:44Can we talk?
17:45Of course.
17:47You know that really beautiful rose that I brought back for you?
17:51Yeah.
17:52Yeah.
17:53Well, it wasn't exactly free.
17:56You see, I got a little bit tired on the trip, and I took this break and stayed at this
18:00mansion.
18:00Lyle explained everything.
18:02Well, almost everything.
18:04About the house, the hideous Lord Beasland, and so forth.
18:09But since you know all that, we thought you might want to know what's going on in Eliza's room.
18:16And so would I.
18:19But it's only going to be a couple of days.
18:22A couple of days, sweetheart.
18:24Oh, it sounds awful.
18:26It sounds terrible.
18:27Papa, please don't make me do it.
18:29Father.
18:30But, but, but.
18:31Did you bring me any gifts?
18:33Uh.
18:35I'm afraid, dear daughter, I didn't.
18:39My trip wasn't too bound to fall.
18:40It was, uh.
18:41You wiener.
18:44What's the matter with little Miss Muffet?
18:47It's terrible.
18:48A wealthy baron insists that I come and spend a few days at his house because father picked one of
18:54his roses for me.
18:56A rich baron?
18:58What are we waiting for?
19:00Uh, well, I'm afraid he only requested beauty.
19:03Do you know the psychological damage that you do to me when you favor her all the time?
19:08You don't understand.
19:10This, this baron is an extremely ugly, hideous guy.
19:13Hey, he's rich.
19:15I mean, how bad can he be?
19:17Hmm.
19:18Q-U-A-S-P-L-E.
19:19Castle, I don't understand.
19:20He said closet.
19:21What do you get closet from?
19:23What do you get?
19:24A strange one.
19:25Nice one.
19:27A great guy's in an awkward place.
19:36Jesus H. Christ, son of a bitch.
19:39Art, you have a different name from your father.
19:42Perhaps you'd like to freshen up before...
19:46Before...
19:48Before...
19:49Before...
19:50Dinner.
19:51Dinner.
19:52I'll take you to your room.
19:54The beast was immediately charmed by the virginal beauty.
19:58Eliza, of course, was quite jealous.
20:03My dear.
20:04Hmm?
20:09Tell me.
20:10Do you know anything about Monopoly?
20:15Come.
20:16I'll show you.
20:21It's very easy.
20:23It's a game with words.
20:25See?
20:26Spell words.
20:28What's a quassel?
20:30What do you mean, quassel?
20:31It's castle.
20:32Q-U-A-S-T-L-E.
20:33Castle.
20:34What's the matter to you?
20:35You're just like your father.
20:37Hmm.
20:39Meat.
20:40My favorite.
20:42My favorite.
21:13Ah!
21:22Finished?
21:23Yes.
21:24Yes.
21:25Yes.
21:26Dessert?
21:26No.
21:27No thanks for me.
21:28No thanks for me.
21:29Are you sure?
21:30Oh yeah.
21:32No, no, no.
21:32I can't eat sweets.
21:34It's alright.
21:35Yeah.
21:36Be gone, be gone.
21:37Hmm.
21:38Hmm.
21:38Hmm.
21:39Hmm.
21:39Hmm.
21:40Hmm.
21:44Why don't we have some brandy and some more Monopoly?
21:51As you please, sire.
21:53You know, I'd really like some brandy right about now.
21:57I was speaking only to Beauty.
22:00You may retire for the evening.
22:07Ah, Beauty.
22:12Ah.
22:14It's often said that beauty is only skin deep.
22:17But ugliness goes to the bone.
22:21Do you believe that?
22:22Certainly not.
22:25I have so much love and passion inside me.
22:29But my ugliness prevents anyone from seeing it.
22:33That's very sad.
22:35People don't realize that the beautiful diamond is embedded in dark black coal.
22:40Yeah.
22:42Yeah.
22:42And the ugly caterpillar becomes the beautiful butterfly.
22:47And the gnarled sticks and twigs of winter make way for the roses of spring.
22:52And those sticky little wrinkled little babies become fully grown adult things.
22:58And people.
22:59Birds.
23:02Are you finished?
23:04No.
23:04Quite.
23:05I agree with you.
23:05You agree with me.
23:07Oh, Beauty.
23:09So many times in my life I've met women who have completely rebelled and won't even speak
23:13to me.
23:14It's you.
23:17You're different.
23:19Beauty.
23:19Could you?
23:21Could you?
23:22Could you find it in your heart too?
23:25Make love to me.
23:27Oh, no.
23:28Wait a minute.
23:28Oh, please, Beauty.
23:30Please.
23:30I would be so grateful.
23:33Listen.
23:34I'm nice and I'm empathetic and you know all that.
23:37But I'm sorry.
23:38I just...
23:40I can't.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:42I'm the one who shouldn't be sorry.
23:43I was wrong to ask.
23:44Let's enjoy the fire.
23:48Let's enjoy the fire.
23:49Let's enjoy the fire.
24:23Why does that bitch have all the luck?
24:26I mean, why can't I have a rich landowner?
24:31Would you settle for a rich landowner's son?
24:34Of course.
24:37Who are you?
24:39Just as I said.
24:40The master's my father.
24:43Fortunately, I got me mother's looks though.
24:46Lucky for you.
24:49You know, you really are quite attractive.
24:52Much more than your sister.
24:56Well, you shouldn't have to say the right things.
25:01Do you believe in love at first sight?
25:06Not only that.
25:11I believe in.
25:13You think he might not come?
25:15Constantly.
25:16Hmm.
25:17Why is it that we sit around waiting for some man to come along to take care of us?
25:26Men are such great treasures.
25:29No, they aren't.
25:31I mean, sure, we have Beastie downstairs.
25:34But most men, they're coarse.
25:37Hairy.
25:39Hairy.
25:40And rough.
25:42They're not smooth and silky.
25:47Or curvaceous.
25:50And slick.
25:54Or supple.
25:57And round.
25:59And understanding.
26:04Giving.
26:06I mean, man doesn't even...
26:09Farewell, Lord Beast in town.
26:12You have been most gracious.
26:15Oh, precious beauty.
26:19Please.
26:20I will ask.
26:22One more time.
26:23And I will not ask again.
26:25Just one brief moment.
26:27Of love making.
26:28Please.
26:29And I will comfort and care for you.
26:31For the rest of your life.
26:32And give anything your heart deserves.
26:34Anything.
26:38Lord Beast in town.
26:39Lord Beast in town.
26:40You are so charming.
26:41And brilliant.
26:43And witty.
26:44But...
26:45I'm sorry.
26:46I cannot.
26:48Oh, no.
26:50Oh, no.
26:51Why me?
26:54What's the matter with him?
26:56Did he find a zit on his nose this morning?
26:58No.
27:00He's offered to marry me.
27:01And take care of me for the rest of my life.
27:04And bestow great riches upon me.
27:06If only I would make love to him.
27:08And I refused.
27:12Why you?
27:14Why you?
27:16There, there, Lord Beast in town.
27:18There, there.
27:19I'll make love to you.
27:21That is, if the deal's still on.
27:24You know, about the...
27:26Taking care of you.
27:27You got a paper bag?
27:32My daughters, you returned safely.
27:35Oh.
27:36Did anybody call for me while I was gone?
27:38Uh, yes.
27:39They're all waiting for you now.
27:41Little John?
27:42Friar Tuck?
27:43Robin and...
27:44and Maid Marian?
27:45Well, uh, Robin Hood and Friar Tuck, uh, called.
27:48They're, uh, be a little bit late from, uh, Sherwood Forest.
27:50But, uh...
27:51Little John and Maid Marian, they're, uh...
27:53Wow!
27:59What is wrong, my dear?
28:02Is the beast's ugliness emblazoned on your brain the way it is on mine?
28:07Well, indeed, he's quite ugly on the outside.
28:11But on the inside, he's a man of great wit, sensitivity, romance.
28:18He used to love to build a fire and we would sit by it.
28:21And he would talk.
28:23You must have done some incredible speaking.
28:25You did.
28:28Well, then why aren't the, uh, melancholy, my guest?
28:31I'm not sure.
28:34I turned him down when he wanted to make love to me.
28:36Ah! Jesus, I hate Christ!
28:40You're right to turn him down.
28:41You'd regret it the rest of your life if you did.
28:43But don't you see?
28:44I turned him down merely because he was physically ugly.
28:48I can dig it.
28:51But he wept so bitterly.
28:52You know, he's a man of great sensitivity.
28:55I hurt him.
28:56Now I feel so bad.
28:58My naive one.
29:00Men will beg, and they will plead, and they will cry for the charms of a beautiful woman.
29:06But I cared for him.
29:07I cared for what he was on the inside.
29:10Don't you see?
29:11He genuinely cared for me.
29:13It's true.
29:14Sometimes you have to dig a little more deeply for true beauty.
29:18Father, I must return to him.
29:21I just cannot be true to myself if I don't.
29:25I'm fine, but if you'd fall in love, and if you'd marry, and...
29:29Would you consider adoption?
29:31Possibly?
29:33A kid.
29:35So Beauty returned as fast as she could to Beastland to fulfill her destiny.
29:46Lord Beastington.
29:49You...
29:49You...
29:50You...
29:51You've returned.
29:53Yes, I've returned my life.
29:55Oh, you have.
29:57But...
29:58Why?
30:00You mean...
30:03Oh, Beauty.
30:06May I undress you?
30:11Oh...
30:12Let me do it.
30:18You know...
30:19I am an animal.
30:21Yes.
30:23Oh, my God.
30:25It worked.
30:26It worked.
30:27Beauty.
30:28I love you.
30:30You're so...
30:32You're incredibly handsome.
30:36Sure, compared to before.
30:38You see...
30:40Years ago, a spell was put on me by a wicked witch.
30:43And it could only be removed...
30:46If a beautiful...
30:48And kind woman...
30:50Who really and truly cared for me...
30:53Made love to me.
30:56That's remarkable.
30:59I guess sometimes being a...
31:02Self-sacrificing, guilt-ridden ninny...
31:05Pays off.
31:07Absolutely.
31:10Beauty...
31:12Will you marry me?
31:14Yes.
31:16Oh, yes.
31:23Well...
31:24Here we are.
31:26This...
31:28Is my grade school.
31:30PS 48.
31:31Charming.
31:33And over here...
31:37This...
31:39Is my father.
31:41I see the resemblance.
31:46Over here...
31:48Is my pen done.
31:54Here...
31:57My window.
31:59What a pain.
32:01Why didn't I ever think of fucking him?
32:04It was a beast.
32:19Oh, my good woman.
32:21Have you a room for a wealthy adventurer...
32:25Upon whom a witch has cast a horrible spell?
32:29Right this way.
32:36Yes, yes.
32:38Oh, my very own feet.
32:42Wait.
32:42I can't get this mask off.
32:45Help me, please.
32:46Please, it's hot in here.
32:49Please.
32:51That's rough.
32:52I can't get that...
32:54And there you have it, my children.
32:56Everyone came.
32:57Or at least, almost everyone.
33:00Cause in my eyes...
33:03You're beautiful to me.
33:26Cause in my eyes...
33:29You're beautiful to me.
33:29You're beautiful to me.
33:29I may be w Emery at the Photoshop.
33:32Everyone came...
33:34Becca...
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