- 3 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess! Ep
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01El Espíritu de la Vida
00:00:03La Vida de la Vida
00:00:04A mi plea
00:00:06PLEASE SAVE MY CHILD
00:00:23Rod de la Sepulia
00:00:41¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:01:07¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:01:30¡Sackless coward would hit a puppy and run!
00:01:35Aw, it's okay, little guy.
00:01:38I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:48We're juvenile.
00:01:53See?
00:01:54Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo.
00:02:00Let's go.
00:02:13Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:02:16Please.
00:02:17My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:23If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26The Elizander Armstrong.
00:02:27His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:32He's so hot.
00:02:34Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes.
00:02:36He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money, fame, power.
00:02:40It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes.
00:02:49Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:55Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying!
00:02:58Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married?
00:03:05I'm already 100 years old.
00:03:07I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:24I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss.
00:03:38Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:39Oh, kind stranger.
00:03:41Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish?
00:03:45That's you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity.
00:03:48It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What?
00:03:52Oh, jeez.
00:03:53This has given me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay.
00:04:02Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:13Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:25What?
00:04:26My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on.
00:04:32Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry.
00:04:54I don't know what this is.
00:04:56I heard you're the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:26I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging.
00:05:53There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this
00:05:59is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:03They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
00:06:06If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:15The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second.
00:06:21You're not talking about the legendary goddess, you.
00:06:23That's correct.
00:06:25Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:34We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:40No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:47bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her.
00:06:49James, come.
00:06:51Put out a bounty.
00:06:53To the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will get her five million dollars.
00:06:58There's no need.
00:07:13I'll save your son.
00:07:16Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:22Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:27God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew, she even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:40That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:50Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover,
00:07:56but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:02Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country
00:08:10and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs
00:08:17on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her
00:08:23would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage
00:08:27of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:30Ew.
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:35Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out,
00:08:41you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end
00:08:49trying to find a cure for Master Lysander
00:08:50and to no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later
00:08:56if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:01But I warn you, if you fail,
00:09:03I'll have your and your dog's head
00:09:05mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:11And I'm only here to repay
00:09:13your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here,
00:09:18I'll leave.
00:09:20Devin, come find me
00:09:21when you have a different wish.
00:09:22No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:24My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:28Well, if he's a hero to you,
00:09:32then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother's a war hero
00:09:36who single-handedly saved this country
00:09:37from a terrorist attack.
00:09:38Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:40He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:46As if the number one hottest
00:09:4830 under 30 would even dream
00:09:50of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough
00:09:54to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up,
00:09:58you couldn't find an ounce
00:10:00of femininity on her.
00:10:01Only those cuts from the lowest ranks
00:10:03were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:08But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:19Oh, okay.
00:10:22What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:35What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that sweat can tell you
00:10:46everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:48Security, smash her face in for licking my son!
00:10:53He's born with congenital heart disease,
00:10:55has a peanut allergy,
00:10:56and the condition he has is called
00:10:58endogenic cryomorphie.
00:11:00Yeah, right.
00:11:01I mean, no way you got all that
00:11:02just from licking him.
00:11:04Oh, okay.
00:11:05I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine
00:11:10right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of
00:11:13endo-cryo-
00:11:15What?
00:11:16What?
00:11:18This?
00:11:25Is worth nothing
00:11:26when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29What?
00:11:30So you think that this
00:11:31crummy walking stick of yours
00:11:33is what?
00:11:34The rod of a sepulius?
00:11:36Why don't you go back
00:11:37to the homeless asylum
00:11:38where you came from
00:11:39if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree.
00:11:41I mean, even if she does
00:11:43solve this medical mystery,
00:11:45what is the point
00:11:46as of doctors
00:11:47who have studied for years?
00:11:49We are all certified.
00:11:51But Lysander does have
00:11:52congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but
00:11:59if she just throws out
00:12:00a bunch of fake diagnoses,
00:12:02one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again,
00:12:04there is no such thing
00:12:05as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course,
00:12:09none of you have heard of it.
00:12:10Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects
00:12:15those with both
00:12:15CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are
00:12:18a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times rarer
00:12:20than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all,
00:12:23you've hit the jackpot
00:12:24by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean,
00:12:29you wouldn't be homeless
00:12:30if you were
00:12:31actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely.
00:12:34You are just
00:12:35a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare
00:12:37to meet us
00:12:38who actually studied
00:12:40real medicine.
00:12:41I bet you were
00:12:43too poor
00:12:43to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went
00:12:46to the super circus
00:12:47instead.
00:12:49And now she's here
00:12:50putting on this clown show
00:12:51coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:53which mean nothing
00:12:54if you can't wake him up.
00:12:56Is that supposed to be
00:12:58a challenge?
00:12:59Oh, yeah.
00:13:01If you three incompetent
00:13:02doormats want to show me up,
00:13:04I think you all should
00:13:06grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:07Which, by the way,
00:13:09that condition is called
00:13:10an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being
00:13:14schooled by me
00:13:14and I'm about to walk
00:13:16all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him,
00:13:24we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend
00:13:29to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved
00:13:34more lives
00:13:35than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate
00:13:38to get rid of your competition,
00:13:40huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie,
00:13:41don't risk your hands
00:13:42for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry.
00:13:48I got this.
00:13:51It's a deal.
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:56No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been
00:14:05in a vegetative state
00:14:06for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me
00:14:12because you're scared
00:14:13I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not,
00:14:16if you save my son,
00:14:17I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander,
00:14:28my heir,
00:14:29marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this
00:14:31for the money
00:14:32or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe
00:14:34in helping good people
00:14:35and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a jacuzzi set
00:14:39at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:42What for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad
00:14:46that she just wants a bath
00:14:48to wash the homeless stench
00:14:49off of her.
00:14:50Firstly,
00:14:51this is called greatness.
00:14:53Secondly,
00:14:55even if you drown yourself
00:14:56in plastic surgery,
00:14:57you couldn't get rid
00:14:58of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What?
00:15:02Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life
00:15:06at stake here
00:15:07and you're standing
00:15:09in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle
00:15:11of doctor
00:15:12when you're only capable
00:15:13of harm.
00:15:14Now stop getting in my way
00:15:16or I promise you,
00:15:18you will be bubbling
00:15:18at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh yeah?
00:15:21You want to see real pain?
00:15:22Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well put down the dog!
00:15:25With pleasure.
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong
00:15:43bereft.
00:15:47You don't deserve
00:15:49to call yourself
00:15:50a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see
00:15:58any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands
00:16:01can save lives,
00:16:02but in the wrong hands
00:16:03it becomes nothing
00:16:05but poison.
00:16:06This bitch
00:16:07isn't good enough
00:16:07to take down
00:16:08the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one
00:16:10of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course.
00:16:12I've saved entire
00:16:14civilizations
00:16:14with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I want to save someone,
00:16:18even the grim reaper
00:16:19can't stop me.
00:16:36Why is she
00:16:36spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't
00:16:38supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said
00:16:40even the grim reaper
00:16:41can't get in your way.
00:16:42Angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call
00:16:45malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal.
00:16:49She'll live.
00:16:50But she deserves
00:16:50a little punishment.
00:16:52Well,
00:16:52where's the jacuzzi
00:16:53I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:56Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want
00:17:00your son to live on
00:17:01to give you tons
00:17:01of grandchildren,
00:17:02don't you?
00:17:03Then stop getting
00:17:04in my way.
00:17:05Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for our dip,
00:17:09shall we?
00:17:14General Armstrong,
00:17:15your family
00:17:16is the richest
00:17:17and most powerful
00:17:18in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really
00:17:20going to let this
00:17:21hobo slut
00:17:22touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on.
00:17:24You two are going
00:17:25in there alone?
00:17:27If you don't want
00:17:27these drooling vultures
00:17:29to see your son naked,
00:17:30then sure,
00:17:31invite everyone in.
00:17:33All right.
00:17:34But I warn you,
00:17:36no funny business.
00:17:38Hmm.
00:17:56What the heck?
00:18:27¡Gracias!
00:18:33¡Gracias!
00:19:10¡Gracias!
00:19:31¡Gracias!
00:19:31¡Oh, my!
00:19:38I told you all to stay out!
00:19:45This is a critical moment for you,
00:19:47we can't be interrupted.
00:19:49Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not gonna let this homeless hooch�� mama trap my son!
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself
00:20:02You see that general
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman
00:20:10This is witchcraft
00:20:13I know what this is
00:20:15This is the dark witch
00:20:17I've heard of her
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts
00:20:21Of young handsome men
00:20:23And then she eats them alive
00:20:24I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son
00:20:27James
00:20:28Get the SWAT team
00:20:29Yes, sir
00:20:34You regain consciousness
00:20:46Help me
00:20:46I just want
00:20:52Something's wrong
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here
00:21:15Captain Morales
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there
00:21:21With a devious, man-eating witch
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can
00:21:25To tear down that door
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong
00:21:29We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive
00:21:36We're right
00:21:37We're right to the world
00:21:42We're human
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:48And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good
00:21:51You're awake
00:21:53I'm saving you
00:21:54Saving you?
00:21:56By bathing with me?
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:58Your fucking spy?
00:22:00Talk
00:22:01I swear to God
00:22:02We'll have you arrested for this
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me
00:22:07In your stripper
00:22:10I will never
00:22:11Oh really?
00:22:25Look who's guilty now
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is
00:22:31Alright, but it is a biological fact
00:22:33A man is attracted to a naked woman
00:22:37And her breasts
00:22:38Science, okay?
00:22:40It just means that my body
00:22:41Oh, shut up
00:22:41Is physically
00:22:45You're just doctoring me with your funny
00:22:47And I'm a professional
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice
00:22:50Captain, do something now
00:22:52Ready
00:22:58We're almost there
00:23:00Aim
00:23:02Get him, boys
00:23:04Get him
00:23:06Fire
00:23:09Fire
00:23:25Those democils
00:23:26How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch
00:23:30I told you this is dark magic
00:23:33Of course your earthly bullets won't do a thing
00:23:35No
00:23:36I believe Miss Trixie is a good person
00:23:38She's not the dark witch
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong
00:23:42You are too easily fooled
00:23:44This homeless psycho
00:23:45Doesn't even have the skills to make a living
00:23:48How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right
00:23:51The Queen Angel and I
00:23:52Are already the top female doctors in the world
00:23:55If we can't save him
00:23:57No one can
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer
00:23:59Think about it
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice
00:24:02He's been in a coma for two years
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have woken him up
00:24:05You're right
00:24:06This homeless girl is maybe the goddess
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess
00:24:15No, no
00:24:16Absolutely not
00:24:17There is no way this hobo girl is better than us
00:24:21But how could you know for sure?
00:24:22Right now
00:24:23What we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie
00:24:26You're wrong, sir
00:24:27This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander
00:24:31It's called borderline revival
00:24:33She uses torturous pain to wake the patient
00:24:37But only temporarily
00:24:38It's a trick
00:24:40To pull the wool over your eyes and ears
00:24:43That means my son is in tremendous pain
00:24:46I'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can
00:24:49To kill that antler rod bearing witch
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this
00:24:54He is dying right now
00:24:55Naked in a jacuzzi
00:24:57With a smelly vagrant
00:24:58Then it looks like it's up to me
00:25:00The witch doctor
00:25:02Only I know the right techniques to take her down
00:25:06My son's life is in your hands
00:25:08You heal him
00:25:10I will give you
00:25:10Whatever your heart desires
00:25:13I don't know who you are
00:25:15But there is no way
00:25:17I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away from me
00:25:21This is it
00:25:22The finishing touch
00:25:24I must now give you the kiss of life
00:25:27So we can both survive
00:25:47It's poison gas
00:25:49The poison gas will smoke them out
00:25:52And end her torture over Master Lysander
00:25:54Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there
00:25:57You're jeopardizing his life as well
00:26:00No, don't worry, General
00:26:01Gold diggers like her only care about themselves
00:26:04Soon
00:26:05She'll come out crying to Mommy
00:26:07Then we can reverse the poison on your son
00:26:10And then he can marry one of us
00:26:13They really won't stop until they get both of us killed
00:26:18I made a promise to you that I'd save you
00:26:21It's now or never
00:26:34What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over ten minutes
00:26:38Wait a second
00:26:40You don't think that they're
00:26:42You!
00:26:43You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers at me
00:26:47If your brother's dead
00:26:48It's because of that homeless gold digger
00:26:50Oh my god
00:26:51Yeah!
00:26:52She's the one who sealed the door shut
00:26:54I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident
00:26:57Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that
00:26:59If you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother
00:27:02This is taking way too long
00:27:05Captain Morales
00:27:06It's time to get out
00:27:07The big guns
00:27:08These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter
00:27:12Bazooka
00:27:13She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself
00:27:16Crap, oh my god
00:27:17Get back something
00:27:19Ready
00:27:21Aim
00:27:22Aim
00:27:22Oh shit
00:27:27Quit your whining and stand down
00:27:41The parasite's been extracted
00:27:43Shoot her dead now
00:27:44Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:47I said stand down
00:27:50Don't listen to her
00:27:51She's a fraud
00:27:52A termite to the field of medicine
00:27:54I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care
00:27:58If I'm a termite, then
00:28:00You're worse than a disease spreading tick
00:28:02Wait a second
00:28:04Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment
00:28:07You can see for yourself
00:28:09Well now you're just asking to be exposed
00:28:12That is it
00:28:13No more stalling, General
00:28:15If you won't punish her
00:28:16I will
00:28:21Don't hurt her
00:28:27He's a cure
00:28:33His pulse is regular
00:28:35In fact, it's never been better
00:28:40There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad
00:28:53Lysander's warm again
00:28:54He's not cold and pale like before
00:28:56And his heart is strong
00:28:58Come, feel it
00:29:01I saved my son
00:29:02Thank you
00:29:03Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will
00:29:07Your son would have otherwise died
00:29:09By their greedy and unskilled hands
00:29:11I've learned my lesson
00:29:13I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again
00:29:18Wait, wait, no, no
00:29:19There is only one person in the world
00:29:22Who is more skilled in the field of medicine
00:29:24Than the queen, angel, and I
00:29:28The goddess healer
00:29:33Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old
00:29:40And you don't look a day after 20
00:29:43It doesn't matter who I am
00:29:45What matters is that the patient is healthy again
00:29:48Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother
00:29:51Take care
00:29:52No, wait
00:29:54Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet
00:29:57He's right
00:29:58We are men of our words
00:30:00And as I promised you, my heir, Lysander
00:30:02Would take you as a wife if you cured him
00:30:04And you did just that
00:30:05Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead
00:30:08I really appreciate it, but
00:30:12I'm sorry, I
00:30:15I'm already engaged
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am
00:30:20I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:30:25And he's coming back today
00:30:26But don't be disappointed
00:30:29Really, I'm no one special
00:30:30I just got lucky with your brother
00:30:32Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments
00:30:36But you're still Lysander's savior
00:30:38Please, let me give you what I promised
00:30:40Take the gold
00:30:41No, really
00:30:44I don't need anything
00:30:45I just believe in doing good in the world
00:30:51Trixie, it's your fiance
00:30:53He's back
00:30:54And he says he's breaking up with you
00:30:58I must go
00:31:06Hobo close
00:31:07Halo glow
00:31:08I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie
00:31:12It was just dumb luck
00:31:14She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal
00:31:16She could have been the richest woman in the world
00:31:19Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around
00:31:25I'm gonna marry that homeless woman
00:31:32Oh my god
00:31:33I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo
00:31:36But this is godly
00:31:38No, no, no, no, Lysander
00:31:42Lysander's job is supposed to be mine
00:31:45I'd so much rather share him with you
00:31:47Than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him
00:31:50You two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession
00:31:53Take these two weirdos out of here
00:31:55And revoke their licenses
00:31:56Wait, no
00:31:58We're not for us
00:31:59No, she's just better than us
00:32:02Oh my god
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane
00:32:10No, she isn't
00:32:11She said it was just dumb luck
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills
00:32:16Why did she wear that shit-stained dress
00:32:18And had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:20But think about the impenetrable walls
00:32:21No normal person could have done that
00:32:23Goddess or not
00:32:25Homeless or not, I don't care
00:32:26I have never met a woman like that
00:32:28I have to find her
00:32:29I have to make her my life
00:32:31She won my heart over too
00:32:32But if my bestest big bro wants her
00:32:35I'll help you find her
00:32:36Alright, listen
00:32:38I need help finding three wedding gifts
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things, out of my house
00:32:51Now
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house
00:32:54She waited for you for three years
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now
00:33:02One with some serious fuck you money
00:33:05So get lost
00:33:07Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:16Grandma
00:33:18Beatrice, Trixie, Amore
00:33:20I've been dying to throw this in your face
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend
00:33:25Marissa
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow
00:33:30So sign over the house now
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait
00:33:40And I did
00:33:41For three years while you were deployed
00:33:43Yet you cheat on me with my best friend
00:33:46And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together for three years
00:33:53And, uh, it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:55When I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa
00:34:03That's how much you would owe me
00:34:04If I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations
00:34:11Of being a low-grade male prostitute
00:34:17Oh, yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa
00:34:21Is so much better than you
00:34:22She grew up even poorer than you
00:34:26And now, she's the CEO of an entire corporation
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:40Of course she's an upgrade
00:34:41Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement
00:34:45Oops
00:34:46Yeah
00:34:47That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her
00:34:57You gave her the presidential contract?
00:35:00I certainly did
00:35:00In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother
00:35:05Only have everything you have all thanks to me
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro
00:35:15That breakup must have hit her hard
00:35:16You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here
00:35:21My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone
00:35:27How dare you insult her
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma
00:35:32Let's not stoop to that level
00:35:35Poor Edna
00:35:36She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:41Show her, Bob
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is
00:35:50She didn't purchase this house on her own
00:35:52She was begging on the street for money
00:35:56I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you
00:35:59Even if you got no game
00:36:01I got street cred I got out of keep, you dig?
00:36:04The word you're looking for is dignity
00:36:06And you're one to speak, cheater
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma
00:36:17I want to see how regular, everyday people live
00:36:20So that I can help them
00:36:22Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade
00:36:32Is actually a downgrade
00:36:37Enough bullshitting already
00:36:38Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives
00:36:54At your wedding, I will
00:36:55What?
00:36:58If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend
00:37:02Why should I do good by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding
00:37:07As a charity to you
00:37:10Fucking bitch!
00:37:11You better keep your word
00:37:13Oh, that's rich
00:37:15After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again
00:37:17Do you remember that?
00:37:26Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now
00:37:28They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding
00:37:33Grandma, I have to confess something to you
00:37:36I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions
00:37:39Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you the richest person on the planet
00:37:47It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius
00:37:50The god of healing
00:37:52I've saved several world leaders with these hands
00:37:55That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract
00:37:59And become the goddess healer
00:38:01It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you
00:38:05But please, Trixie dear
00:38:07I know it must have broken your heart
00:38:10But embellishing your worth and who you are
00:38:14It will only delay the healing process
00:38:17You don't have to believe me just yet
00:38:19After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills
00:38:24I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need
00:38:29That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity
00:38:32You've always had an angel's heart
00:38:35I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right
00:38:39Who actually deserves you
00:38:41You will see tomorrow, Grandma
00:38:51You said Trixie's crashing my wedding
00:38:53She was bullying us too, Sasa
00:38:55She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck
00:39:00When nobody steps on Snake
00:39:02Snake bites back hard
00:39:04So let her come and embarrass herself
00:39:06Yeah
00:39:07You mean
00:39:10We broadcast
00:39:12That video of me?
00:39:16Yes
00:39:16Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can
00:39:20She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal
00:39:22And the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:24Against my presidential glow up
00:39:26Let's turn this party into her funeral
00:39:35There he is
00:39:38Welcome home, brother
00:39:40Welcome home, General
00:39:44Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie
00:39:47This is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner
00:39:49He served with her regiment in the Marines
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies
00:39:54Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family
00:39:56While he's been deployed overseas, sir
00:39:58So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her
00:40:01Fucking coward
00:40:02According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding
00:40:05Then we should join her
00:40:07Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman
00:40:11And her incredible power that saved my life
00:40:13So she needs our support
00:40:14Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will not allow her to protect her, sir!
00:40:20And let's roll
00:40:36Welcome, everyone, to my wedding
00:40:38Today is a very special day for me and Butch
00:40:41Not only are we getting married
00:40:42But in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract
00:40:46Allowing my biomedical company to go public
00:40:53Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:55Wakeham, Stowe, Butch is taking my last name
00:40:58Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho
00:41:01You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department
00:41:05But this is a par-tay, after all
00:41:07I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you
00:41:13The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself
00:41:19It's an honor
00:41:20And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of
00:41:25We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin
00:41:32Not so fast
00:41:33The party doesn't start until I say it does
00:41:57You two really are a match made in hell
00:42:00So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck
00:42:04I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:08Um, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir
00:42:11Just watch
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter, you lost
00:42:18I bet she's here to bum a meal off us
00:42:20You know, being this poor
00:42:24Me, bum a meal
00:42:25Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:29What evidence do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO
00:42:36Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me
00:42:40And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat
00:42:44Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me
00:42:48See everyone?
00:42:50Butch already cut ties with his ex
00:42:51But she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding to suck up to me
00:42:57This is what poor sad girls do
00:43:00They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious
00:43:04Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel all high and mighty now
00:43:08But don't bite the hand that feeds you
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract
00:43:18You giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills, no education, no connection
00:43:25So how could you possibly have a pool to get the US fucking president to give me a billion dollar
00:43:31contract?
00:43:31We both share humble beginnings, Marissa
00:43:34And I saw potential in you
00:43:35Even trusted you as my best friend
00:43:38But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you
00:43:41Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man
00:43:44This is what us rich girls do
00:43:47They steal from lame spinsters for fun
00:43:50Damn right
00:43:51You were too embarrassing for me
00:43:54Sasa tramples you any day
00:43:56I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich
00:43:59Bravo, self-admission of a gold digger
00:44:02Quick, somebody put that on a memoir
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone
00:44:06You should make her stop
00:44:07Don't listen to her, everyone
00:44:09She's the gold-dicking, blood-sucking leech
00:44:12I don't even have to lift a finger
00:44:14And you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch
00:44:19You may look and sound like a man
00:44:21But you're nothing but a pathetic coward
00:44:23Okay, enough
00:44:23You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves
00:44:33That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie
00:44:37Because I've got the material goods
00:44:39And you're just all empty talk
00:44:41I'm not here to request to be chosen
00:44:43Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing
00:44:47See this?
00:44:55Oh my god
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:06No
00:45:06The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not
00:45:10I don't believe it
00:45:12You all sound so scared already
00:45:13Don't worry
00:45:14This isn't that contract
00:45:17It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me
00:45:23See everyone
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us
00:45:26But you don't even have the guts to go all the way
00:45:28Look at her following orders
00:45:29I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is
00:45:32Like a good little peasant slave
00:45:35That house is worth all her life savings
00:45:40You want to, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:54You must understand me
00:45:56I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you
00:45:59And I'm giving it to charity
00:46:07Bro
00:46:08She's gone cuckoo in the head
00:46:10She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:12She can pretend to be a deep pocket investment baddie
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie
00:46:18It's just a drop in the bucket for me
00:46:20I know what this is
00:46:22You've gone delusional
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella
00:46:25So you can just show up to a fancy party
00:46:27And some Prince Charming will scoop you into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening
00:46:32Security, lock the doors
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her
00:46:39This is where your dreams will die, bitch
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie Lysander
00:46:46She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now
00:46:49Butch Tanner
00:46:51Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him
00:46:54Let's go
00:46:58You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people for much worse
00:47:04Including your head of command, Butch
00:47:08General Lysander Armstrong
00:47:09You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack
00:47:16You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech
00:47:20So how could you possibly have this magical ability
00:47:23To heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here is gonna believe you
00:47:27If you really cured the incurable general
00:47:29Then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary
00:47:32And she's not
00:47:33You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie
00:47:36Let me show them, Butch
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone
00:47:45Trixie's just a...
00:47:47Freeloading beggar
00:47:51She won't leave me and Marissa alone
00:47:53Cause we're rich as fuck now
00:47:55I'm a major in the marines
00:47:57Sasa
00:47:58She has a billion dollar biomedical contract
00:48:01WITH the military
00:48:03Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch
00:48:07How despicable
00:48:09She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger
00:48:13Get out of here
00:48:14No one wants to marry you
00:48:15No free meals for the poor
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society
00:48:21So you're either born on a silver spoon
00:48:23Or you're as accomplished as me to be here
00:48:25Maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here
00:48:29Maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can
00:48:35I already have everything one can dream of
00:48:37But I valued our friendship, Marissa
00:48:39Which is why I came here to give you a second chance
00:48:42To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing
00:48:45But no
00:48:46You stooped so low
00:48:48It disgusts me
00:48:49Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum
00:48:54And who knows if you've already started offering sexual services
00:48:59Well then
00:49:01Why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie
00:49:03My brother will never take you back
00:49:06No man will marry an embarrassment like you
00:49:09But make me happy
00:49:11And I might consider making you my personal prostitute
00:49:25How dare you hit my brother
00:49:27I'm never letting you leave here alive
00:49:29I thought I had to do something
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear
00:49:33After I'm done with you, Trixie
00:49:35Not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you
00:49:39Oh
00:49:40Is that so
00:49:42Security
00:49:44Get down on your knees
00:49:46And give Bob one hell of a blowjob
00:49:48In front of everybody here
00:49:50Or I'll pop so many holes in you
00:49:52The men here won't know which one to fuck
00:49:54I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you
00:50:00Before you even touch me
00:50:02Dream on
00:50:04You wish General Eisender scooped you off your feet
00:50:07But you weren't good enough for me
00:50:08You're definitely not good enough for him
00:50:10Enough
00:50:12You're souring my party
00:50:13So you either get the fuck out
00:50:16Or I'm gonna shoot you
00:50:18On the count of three
00:50:19I think I quite like it here
00:50:21Two
00:50:32Mmm
00:50:34This wine is so delicious
00:50:36One
00:50:37Shoot
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife
00:50:49It's
00:50:51It's
00:51:01Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No
00:51:10I'm fine
00:51:11But um
00:51:12When did I become your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me
00:51:17Trixie
00:51:18Remember
00:51:19I'm a man of my word
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you ever again
00:51:22Really
00:51:23It was nothing
00:51:24I saved you because you're a good man
00:51:27Not because I want you to owe me any favors
00:51:35I see what this is
00:51:36You're the one who cheated on me Trixie
00:51:38Look at you guys all lovey-dove
00:51:40Don't try to pin this on her
00:51:42She waited for you for three years
00:51:43This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh
00:51:52She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash
00:51:54No man who in a hundred foot pole would want to touch her
00:51:58She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some
00:52:05I see her in the marines
00:52:08I'm a major
00:52:09You know
00:52:10Look man
00:52:10I know Trixie is like uh
00:52:13I don't know
00:52:13Like a seven
00:52:14Now that she's all cleaned up
00:52:16But don't waste your manhood on a whiny
00:52:18Worthless woman like that
00:52:25A real man never talks about a woman that way
00:52:29You're a coward
00:52:40We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them
00:52:44You're very gracious Trixie you know that
00:52:49You're only getting off with it because she's so kind
00:52:51So you're gonna do me the favor of never coming near her again
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck with me you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major
00:52:58You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts
00:53:01I'll destroy you
00:53:02Do you really not know who this is Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were in the marines
00:53:07What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just a supply boy
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part of your plan Trixie?
00:53:19Poor girl
00:53:20Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries
00:53:27Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy
00:53:34A bum girl and a pimp
00:53:36What a pair
00:53:38Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long
00:53:42Maybe we should try to place them off some more don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:57Trixie listen, I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life
00:54:01But I know that we shared a moment
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear
00:54:10It's not in my nature
00:54:12I'm like somebody else here
00:54:14Listen, Trixie
00:54:16I have never met a woman
00:54:20Like you
00:54:22So incredible and kind and beautiful
00:54:25So I know that you're the one for me
00:54:29This guy's either nuts or a really
00:54:32It's really good actor
00:54:34Oscar worthy
00:54:35Oscar worthy
00:54:36No
00:54:38First gift
00:54:44Trixie, I know that you just lost your home
00:54:46So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion
00:54:49Worth 500 million dollars
00:54:51Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston
00:54:54And second gift
00:54:59This contains all the rights to my entire fortune
00:55:03Which is now yours
00:55:04Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07It must be that easy
00:55:08They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show
00:55:11They've got nothing left
00:55:13Lysander
00:55:14I really don't care for any of us
00:55:15Look, I know
00:55:17I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman
00:55:20Okay, which is exactly why
00:55:22Well, my third gift
00:55:24Is um
00:55:26Well
00:55:42Cleo
00:55:43Hey
00:55:44Oh my god
00:55:47You found my dog
00:55:51Trixie, I'm just a man
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more
00:55:56Trixie Amore
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:03You know I can't say no to this doggo
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you
00:56:27Go go power couple
00:56:30Okay, stop
00:56:33The only power couple here is Butch and I
00:56:36Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is
00:56:40No man in their right mind
00:56:44Would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:46Hey
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:48But I'm making this woman my wife
00:56:51Which means that she will be treated as
00:56:53And cherished as the most precious woman on earth
00:56:56Understand
00:57:01You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:57:06This is general Lysander Armstrong
00:57:15As if like the almighty general Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically control the global stock market
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of england than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:32I bet my life you're all just
00:57:34actors
00:57:34Then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:36Come on Lysander, what are we waiting for?
00:57:38Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:57:40What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us?
00:57:43The elites
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck
00:57:46She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:49Truth is she's just a useless lazy bitch and bum
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:58:03I'd handle them myself but
00:58:06I'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:58:09Go ahead Lysander
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander
00:58:18Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me
00:58:22Oh my gosh, I'm so scared
00:58:25Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:33Uh, hello?
00:58:37Yes
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt
00:58:48Hey, hey, hey
00:58:55Are you sure that was the call, Sasha?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:59:01My company's dead
00:59:03Evaporated
00:59:04It's in thin air
00:59:07Then that's impossible
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did she do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho
00:59:14You said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Ms. Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means
00:59:26You're really Lysander Armstrong
00:59:29The richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:33If Trixie's married the famed war hero, the man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:41Now you believe me, those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:46There's gotta be some trick to this
00:59:48I guess you guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:59:50It's awesome
00:59:59I know why you're all over Trixie
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what a real woman can do for you
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time
01:00:12Do you have your hands for me or I'll have them removed for you
01:00:15I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:34I don't blame her at all
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me?
01:00:39Fine, but there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:41I can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:4418 years old
01:00:45Fresh for the taking
01:00:53I did that so you wouldn't have to, Ms. Trixie
01:00:56Thank you, Devin
01:00:59Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me
01:01:02Your best friend
01:01:04By stealing my fiancé
01:01:06But now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:10You're an insult to all good women out there
01:01:12No, to all of humanity
01:01:13So now, everything that I've ever given you to
01:01:17I'm taking it all back
01:01:20Wait, everyone, stop
01:01:25They're imposters
01:01:26I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34Because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is
01:01:53The right rewrites the wrong, the left leaves the wrong bereft
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:02:03In fact, she's on her way now
01:02:08So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15If the president and the goddess healer approves of my product
01:02:19Who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs, break his arms, no one would even bat an eye
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:29FBI!
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft
01:02:36Gotcha
01:02:41Guess I still get the last laugh Trixie
01:02:43No, don't arrest her
01:02:46Trixie is a good person
01:02:48Please officer, don't arrest her
01:02:50Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams
01:02:52What are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch
01:02:56We were worried, so we came here to back you up
01:03:00Listen officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor
01:03:04She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:03:11Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:18My fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:20She's an angel descended from heaven
01:03:24You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal
01:03:34He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:41And that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet
01:03:51So this must be an imposter
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:58I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiance
01:04:08You don't get to decide, punk
01:04:10Let's go
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:35If you can
01:04:38Look at me
01:04:42You're off
01:04:56You're on
01:04:58You're right
01:04:59There
01:05:04You're
01:05:06¡Oh!
01:05:26¿Es eso suficiente? ¿O quieres más?
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Leicenander.
01:05:42Drama.
01:05:44Meet my new fiancé.
01:05:48Wow, your new fiancé.
01:05:50He's so manly.
01:05:52Much better than your last one.
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:57It's Butch's loss.
01:05:59Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:02She's like a shining star in the sky,
01:06:04and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:07Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, Sam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor.
01:06:13Drown out the poor.
01:06:15Drown out the poor.
01:06:16Drown out the poor.
01:06:18Drown out the poor.
01:06:19Drown out the poor.
01:06:20See, Trixie, you've got no connections, no power.
01:06:24You can't compete against me,
01:06:26even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield
01:06:33because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:35Let them eat cake.
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:48Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:49Attack.
01:06:50Attack.
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:15What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was.
01:07:19I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding.
01:07:28Oh, damn it!
01:07:30Depp, Depp.
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun, too.
01:07:35That'll teach you for messing with the Wighhams.
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:39We're quartered.
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:42Devin, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:48They will be punished.
01:07:52Now hold still for me.
01:07:56Right.
01:07:57Right.
01:07:58Right's the wrong.
01:08:08Holy fuck!
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:11By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13She the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now.
01:08:20Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:22See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:25No, please.
01:08:26I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:28Don't put me on some sort of fetus.
01:08:30Sure.
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl in the streets.
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:39While I do not care for glory,
01:08:41I do believe in justice.
01:08:43Marissa and Butch,
01:08:44not only have you betrayed me,
01:08:46but now you've hurt the innocent, too.
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:55Wrong.
01:08:56But you're close.
01:08:58I'm bullshit.
01:08:59I'm gonna show you how the elite can travel in your little lives.
01:09:04You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try.
01:09:07Charge!
01:09:09Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death.
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good,
01:09:27but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:31You're not the grim reaper.
01:09:33What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:42I will.
01:09:47Left leaves the wrong rest.
01:09:55I'm fine.
01:09:57Nothing happened.
01:09:58You'll see soon enough.
01:10:00Oh, please.
01:10:01I really wanna die.
01:10:03And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:07Whoops.
01:10:08Just crossed it again.
01:10:10Whoops.
01:10:10And again.
01:10:12Nothing's happening.
01:10:13I hate you.
01:10:14Stop.
01:10:15Stop.
01:10:17Stop.
01:10:20Stop.
01:10:21Stop.
01:10:23Stop.
01:10:24Stop.
01:10:24Stop.
01:10:24No.
01:10:25No, Bob.
01:10:26Hey.
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything.
01:10:31Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:34I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:41Major.
01:10:41Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:53Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:11:04You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:05Oh, please.
01:11:06You hurt us first.
01:11:08At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:11But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:16Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:23You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife.
01:11:38And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:52Oh, really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:57You've got nothing on me.
01:12:02Yes.
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:10Goddess.
01:12:11Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:19Get the VP.
01:12:20We're leaving now.
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:36As Secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention,
01:12:58so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:13:00No.
01:13:01My granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:03Reversing time just to heal someone's wound,
01:13:06only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:12Oh, my God.
01:13:18Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:23and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:27Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:32I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:35You can only dream of what you can never have
01:13:37while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:41Look, I don't know what circus school you went to,
01:13:43but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:45It ain't working.
01:13:46You can't just fake the...
01:13:50Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:53It's like real magic.
01:13:54Trixie, you're an angel,
01:13:57but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex,
01:14:03won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No.
01:14:09Trixie, look.
01:14:11I believe you.
01:14:12You saved me.
01:14:14Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:17No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:21We'll riot against you now.
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:24Tear her apart!
01:14:26Tear her apart!
01:14:28Tear her apart!
01:14:29Tear her apart!
01:14:31The vice president arrives!
01:14:48Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:54You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:57Wait, what?
01:14:59He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01No, no.
01:15:02We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:04Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:05This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:11But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:16Yes.
01:15:16We all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:18What I mean is...
01:15:21You're the war hero.
01:15:22General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:24And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:27The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:30And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:35He is the general.
01:15:37Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:39Did you hear that?
01:15:41Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:45So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the president.
01:15:51On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:55I told you.
01:15:56Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:59This is treason.
01:16:00Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:08Hurry!
01:16:09The Goddess Healer needs us.
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:15My brother is a war hero.
01:16:17He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:20He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:22If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:23Enough!
01:16:24You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:28Not just your brother.
01:16:30Yeah.
01:16:31It's okay.
01:16:33Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancée's life.
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:43I never gave a fuck.
01:16:45About any damn titles.
01:16:49I truly saved a good man.
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancée.
01:16:59And what can you do about it?
01:17:01Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:04My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:09Let's try it out on them.
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:13There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:15Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:18Despicable!
01:17:18What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:24Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:28Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:32Oh!
01:17:42Shoot!
01:17:43Wait, that's the president.
01:17:47Oh!
01:17:55What the hell?
01:17:58Hey, idiots!
01:18:01Oh!
01:18:03Oh!
01:18:05Oh, my gosh!
01:18:07I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:18:09That was...
01:18:10They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:14What is this?
01:18:15Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:19This is a war crime.
01:18:21These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:25I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:26I have the presidential contract.
01:18:28With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:30And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:35What are you doing?
01:18:35Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:39That is easy.
01:18:41There's no need.
01:18:42I'll save everyone.
01:18:57It's raining gold!
01:19:01What's happening?
01:19:02Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:04It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:07She...
01:19:08She is...
01:19:10She is a criminal.
01:19:12Don't worry, Madam President.
01:19:13We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:17Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:20What are you talking about?
01:19:22The president literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract.
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36This contract?
01:19:37Yes!
01:19:38Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:56My contract, you bitch!
01:19:59And that's not all.
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:15There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:18Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:26Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:28And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:31So prepare yourself.
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:35What are you going to do?
01:20:37The president is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:43You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll...
01:20:54She's going to give me my billion dollar...
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:08Why?
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract.
01:21:14You wish, you idiot!
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:24I don't understand.
01:21:25I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:31And do you know the goddess healing saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only.
01:21:43And it's...
01:21:46Her.
01:21:57What?
01:22:02Welcome, goddess.
01:22:23No, no, no.
01:22:34I mean, the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39She took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done, I'm officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear.
01:22:52I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:00She's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:06She's going to be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:16I love you.
01:23:30All her gold, all her clothes, all that could have been mine.
01:23:34This is all your fault.
01:23:37You seduce me!
01:23:39Don't help me!
01:23:40You were the one that came on to me, you himbo!
01:23:44Please, Trixie, give me another chance!
01:23:47I want to be rich again!
01:23:49I'll be your slave.
01:23:51Kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:55But it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:02You two should be locked up.
01:24:03And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:24:08arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:13I never loved you.
01:24:14It's your fault!
01:24:15I was only with you for your money.
01:24:17I don't care.
01:24:18You were rich.
01:24:19I'll see myself now.
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands,
01:24:37I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:48Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes!
01:24:53Well.
01:24:54Woo!
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
01:25:06Thank you.
01:25:08Thank you.
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