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Taskmaster - S18E01 - The Faceless Facilitators [Full Movie] [Full Episodes]Full EP - Full
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00:00.
00:16I mean, you're used to say this.
00:30APPLAUSE
00:33Hello!
00:34Hello!
00:35Thank you!
00:36I'm Greg Davies.
00:37Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:39Daddy's back, and he's got five naughty children
00:42who need to sit on the naughty step.
00:44Let's hope they behave themselves and do well in the task,
00:47because...
00:48Papa has big slippers and a hair-trigger spanking arm.
00:51LAUGHTER
00:58Here we go.
00:59Please welcome our five formidable fighters.
01:01They are...
01:02Andy Zantzman!
01:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:05Baba Tunde Alashe!
01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:09Emma Sidney!
01:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:12Jack Dee!
01:13And Rosie Dole!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18And sitting next to me, a man who secretly confessed to me
01:22that he finds all women's sport slow, boring and undignified.
01:27LAUGHTER
01:28It's a lovely car!
01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33Hi, Greg.
01:34Hi.
01:34Well, look, I thought we should go mad at the beginning
01:37and have a game of charades.
01:38Yeah?
01:39Yeah.
01:39You up for that?
01:40Yep.
01:40OK, here we go. This is the only one.
01:42Ooh, look.
01:43Hmm.
01:44OK.
01:45Can of beans, yeah.
01:46Ooh, look, there's Jack Dee.
01:48Ooh.
01:49But also, watch this, huh?
01:51Hello, Greggy!
01:51Ooh!
01:53What is it?
01:55LAUGHTER
01:57They can say anything at all.
01:58We can say anything!
02:00Anything.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:01Do you know what it is?
02:02What?
02:03Jack and the Beans talk.
02:04Jack and the Beans talk.
02:06LAUGHTER
02:08APPLAUSE
02:09Good one.
02:11Right, first price task of a series.
02:13What's the category, Alex?
02:14I was shocked when you told me it, Greg, because it's
02:17the best thing that has been inside you.
02:20LAUGHTER
02:21I know.
02:22Unbelievable.
02:23My mum's watching this and I've been inside her.
02:26Greg will give five points for the thing he thinks is best
02:29and at the end of the episode, the overall winner
02:31will take home something that has been inside each
02:33of the four people they've been sitting next to
02:35and themselves.
02:36Yummy in my tummy.
02:37Your turn.
02:38Andy Saltzman.
02:39Yes, yes, Greg.
02:40What have you brought that's been inside you?
02:43Well, the best thing that's been inside me, Greg,
02:45is my lung.
02:46It is Andy's lung.
02:49Oh!
02:50Mmm.
02:51Ah, God.
02:52The winner's going to take home.
02:53But that's not Andy's lung, is it?
02:55Because otherwise Andy would be dead.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57Well, it just gives me a great incentive to win this show
03:00so I get them back at the end.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03Have you had those lungs inside you?
03:05Yes, I have.
03:06You have not?
03:07I have.
03:08LAUGHTER
03:09You don't like it?
03:10I don't like them, no.
03:11They don't work within the limit of the task.
03:14Right.
03:14And they make me feel sick.
03:16LAUGHTER
03:16What thing have you brought in that I might like
03:20that you've had inside you?
03:21I brought something that you will definitely like.
03:24It is Jamaican oxtail.
03:26It's beautiful.
03:27I'm Nigerian, but I love Jamaican food,
03:29so that's what I brought.
03:30And this is some oxtail stew here.
03:33I'm not going to lie.
03:34That looks disgusting.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:38But I'm telling you, it tastes delicious.
03:40You know what I'm saying?
03:40Has that been inside you?
03:42Yes.
03:42Same batch?
03:43Same batch.
03:44I mean, the idea of this,
03:45that you bring slightly surprising things in, Baba,
03:47you've just brought in the thing that you like to eat.
03:49Yes!
03:50Yes!
03:52Baba, it looks delicious.
03:53Apart from the sticks that have been thrown on top of it.
03:58Ever.
03:58What have you brought in that you might have had inside yourself,
04:01or you have had inside?
04:02So, because it's the best thing that's been inside you, right?
04:06Yes.
04:07I have brought in my ex,
04:09as represented by a USB stick.
04:13LAUGHTER
04:15LAUGHTER
04:17I've uploaded a huge amount of material about his life.
04:22It's a bloke.
04:23And, er, he is just a legend.
04:27Is he an actual legend?
04:28Yeah.
04:28No, he's not an actual...
04:30Well, he's just...
04:30He's not King Arthur.
04:31Excuse me!
04:33LAUGHTER
04:35Well, the winner gets to plug it in and have a good look.
04:37And, as a boyfriend, what was his best quality?
04:40Just, like, nice to be around.
04:42He dumped me.
04:45LAUGHTER
04:45Do he eject you safely?
04:47LAUGHTER
04:54Hello, Jack.
04:55Hello.
04:55You all right?
04:56Yes, very well, thank you, Greg.
04:57OK.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:00What have you had inside you?
05:01I've brought in, er, my...
05:03Well, one of my favourite toothbrushes.
05:06Erm...
05:06Which I had, er...
05:08I used...
05:08I liked it so much, I used it for several years.
05:11And, erm...
05:12Thank you, yeah.
05:13LAUGHTER
05:13So I bought this one in 2012.
05:15And, er...
05:17I used it until 2022 or something.
05:19LAUGHTER
05:20Here it is!
05:21LAUGHTER
05:23Yeah, there it is.
05:24Jesus Christ, Jack!
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27It did discolour in the end.
05:29When we told Jack about the competition,
05:31you told him it was to bring in a good prize, right?
05:34Not...
05:34Not to just clear out the shit from his garage.
05:37LAUGHTER
05:37Well, Sir Jones, what have you had inside you
05:40that you deemed appropriate to bring on the show?
05:42It is a letter opener.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:46So I have recently started living on my own.
05:54And I love it.
05:56I am naked the whole time.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02That means I get a lot of food on my body.
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10And I have recently found out that there's been a smell
06:22coming from my belly bucket.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:29So the finger won't get it.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:36That does!
06:37LAUGHTER
06:40I can't get in really deep.
06:45And I swear to God, last week,
06:51I got a little bit of umbilical...
06:56LAUGHTER
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00How deep's your belly bucket?
07:02That's my favourite Bee Gees song, that's...
07:10Who has brought in the worst thing?
07:11Well, it's Baba or Andy, isn't it?
07:13Let's face it.
07:14OK.
07:14So we're going to give Zaltzman and his horrible lungs one point.
07:17Baba, two.
07:18Two to Baba, well done.
07:20Incredibly, getting three points is a man who lazily
07:23grabbed an old toothbrush on his way to the show.
07:26LAUGHTER
07:26Three to Jack.
07:27You know, it's such an appalling image.
07:29We'll give Rosie Jones five points on this occasion.
07:31There we go.
07:32Four to Emma, five to Rosie!
07:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:35It's a very strong start.
07:37Right, task one.
07:38Let's get going.
07:38OK, here we go, bro.
07:39And hush your sweet, sweet mouth.
07:56LAUGHTER
07:59Andy.
08:05I'll sit here, shall I?
08:06Yeah, just in front of Greg.
08:09Look at the state of it.
08:14Am I lying, Greg?
08:15You're very serious for me.
08:17Just smile more.
08:18I'm not going to lie to you, bro.
08:25Do not say any of this outside.
08:28LAUGHTER
09:03Oh!
09:05LAUGHTER
09:06LAUGHTER
09:08Oh, my...
09:10APPLAUSE
09:14Do you want to explain this task a little bit?
09:16Not yet.
09:17Oh!
09:19All right, who are we going to see first?
09:20We're going to start with the guy people are already calling Andy Zaltzman.
09:24LAUGHTER
09:26Are you all right, Andy?
09:29Andy?
09:30Thank you for watching, Andy.
09:45Hold
09:45on to the door. OK.
09:46They are
09:47standing there for one person. Oh,
09:55wait a minute. You can
09:55One,
10:06Let's go.
10:07Query.
10:08I've stopped the clock.
10:10I could have gone with quesadilla.
10:12If not, that's an opportunity missed.
10:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
10:20At what point during the filming process for this show, Andy,
10:23did you regret wearing full cricket whites?
10:26LAUGHTER
10:27I've never been in a situation in life where I haven't thought,
10:30this would be better if I was in cricket whites.
10:33LAUGHTER
10:33So, no regrets, no regrets.
10:35Ah, all right, good, that's encouraging.
10:37Do you ever regret sitting in a big throne like that?
10:40No.
10:40Does it not make the rest of your life seem mundane?
10:43LAUGHTER
10:46I mean, I suppose now you've said it, yeah.
10:49Andy did very well, he managed to succeed in 7 minutes 54.
10:53Ooh!
10:54Not bad, is it?
10:55Two more attempts now,
10:57and a little bit more explanation from Bubba and Rosie.
11:01Stare at camera number one for at least 30 seconds without smiling.
11:10Still smiling.
11:21No! No!
11:24No!
11:25Right, let's try again.
11:31Eat an imaginary fly that has just landed on you.
11:52Look under the sixth...
11:54..fifty-six...
11:58..letters of this task.
12:05What letters have you got so far, Rosie?
12:10The first one's right. What's the second one?
12:13E.
12:15Is it an N?
12:17Wait, OK.
12:21You haven't quite finished the task.
12:29BUZZER
12:30Oh, not that seal.
12:35No, not that seal.
12:37Not that seal.
12:38Not that seal.
12:44No, not that seal.
12:45Yeah.
12:51Say a word beginning with Q.
12:53That's six words.
12:56Your time started when you stared at the camera.
12:59Quiet.
13:00Quiet.
13:00I've stopped the clock.
13:01That's it.
13:03That's it.
13:04That's the smiling one.
13:07Yeah.
13:08That's my Achilles heel.
13:11I'm so happy.
13:19BUZZER
13:20BUZZER
13:21The seal misdirection, it's the sort of thing this little nerd loves to do.
13:26How does it make you feel as a contestant?
13:27At the time, I was just like, who's coming up with this nonsense?
13:31You know what I'm saying?
13:31Yeah, yeah.
13:32Yeah.
13:32I messed up.
13:33You've come to the right show to mess up.
13:36Rosie, I missed what you said your Achilles heel was.
13:39Is it not laughing like a town crier?
13:42Basically, I've always got to smile, cos when I don't smile, people think I'm dead.
13:59Right.
14:00That's the end of part one.
14:01See you soon.
14:08APPLAUSE
14:13Welcome back to the first episode of this new series where we've begun with a silent task.
14:19Shh!
14:19Keep it down, Big Mouth.
14:21Yes, some have been more silent than others, but there's two people left to see.
14:25Emma Ciddy and Jack Dee.
14:31I'm not tempted to smile at all, Jack.
14:52SEA?
14:55Are you getting the fourth letter?
15:05I've lost my count now.
15:07Oh.
15:07And I think it's going to matter.
15:09It's going to matter.
15:10Yeah.
15:11Quick.
15:12I've stopped the clock.
15:14What have you come up with?
15:15I mean, the first one, I thought, I came up with seal.
15:18Did you?
15:18And I thought, that's got a nautical feel to it.
15:21That does sound relevant.
15:22Yeah.
15:24Look under the letters.
15:25Well, yeah.
15:26Or whatever those.
15:28It's not seal.
15:29It's not seal.
15:29Well, I think it might be seal.
15:30You think it might be seal?
15:31Yeah.
15:32So I look, ah, okay.
15:33So then I find a seal and look underneath it.
15:35Well, maybe.
15:36That's a walrus.
15:37It's a shark.
15:38There's a seal.
15:40Sea lion, really.
15:40Splitting hairs.
15:41Ah.
15:42Okay.
15:43What about this seal?
15:46Okay.
15:47There was something written there.
15:49Did it still come off?
15:50Yeah, you ripped it quite hard there.
15:52I didn't rip it quite hard.
15:53What are you talking about?
15:54You were very rough with it.
15:56Don't blame me for shoddy props.
15:58I'll just go and see if we've got another one.
16:00Thanks.
16:06Oh, I'll set it on fire.
16:09I mean, that's pretty good.
16:11Faster.
16:13Fastest.
16:14Good as new.
16:15Is there another one coming this year?
16:17Yes.
16:17We're just really sticking it down so it doesn't slip.
16:21Well, what's the point of that?
16:22That's what's caused all this.
16:27I've got a task for you.
16:28Ah.
16:28Best of luck.
16:32This is me being patient?
16:33Yeah.
16:34Maybe this is how you should have done the first one.
16:35Oh.
16:37Quick.
16:44Well.
16:46I mean, first things first.
16:48Let's start with the positives.
16:49Emma.
16:50Sure.
16:50Pretty efficient.
16:51Well, yeah, I would argue boringly efficient.
16:54You looked under a seat.
16:55There was a bit of fun there.
16:57I really appreciate that.
16:57And, I'll tell you something else.
16:58Yeah.
16:59No one winks anymore.
17:01Right.
17:01And you did a lovely bawdy wink after it.
17:03I didn't mean it to be bawdy.
17:05I more meant like, you know, we're all in this together.
17:08I didn't mean sexually bawdy.
17:10I'm sorry.
17:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:11I just mean fun bawdy.
17:12Fine.
17:13What went wrong, Jack?
17:15Well, OK, full disclosure, within a couple of minutes, I could see what was going on here.
17:21I thought, oh dear, they've come up with a duff task.
17:24Oh, yeah?
17:25And to get some mileage out of it, I'm going to have to find some stuff here.
17:31I should probably cross out what I wrote then.
17:33Um, what did you write?
17:34Well, I say this as a man of a similar vintage, but I wrote, this all feels a bit grandad's
17:39not settled into his home yet.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:45Emma said the word quick after 3 minutes 58.
17:47Jack said the word quick after 41 seconds and 30 minutes.
17:51Just over half an hour.
17:57Actually, I want to show you one more, one more little extra bit of Jack.
17:59Would you mind?
18:00Yes, do, yeah.
18:01This tickled me.
18:01This is Jack earlier on in the task.
18:05I mean, it's not my fault.
18:06This is probably quite boring to watch.
18:09Oh, it's not boring.
18:10OK.
18:12Here's the first word, beginning with cue, that anyone said.
18:15You said it after 3 minutes 32 seconds.
18:17So a bit quicker than Emma in the end.
18:19Oh!
18:20It's cruel.
18:21It's cruel.
18:22Even I say that's unfair, but I'll take it.
18:29Sometimes the game can be cruel, Emma.
18:31Yeah.
18:32Oh!
18:33LAUGHTER
18:35So, Baba was the slowest in the end.
18:3717 minutes 59, one point.
18:39Aw, Baba.
18:39Then Rosie gets two points, and he was the third slowest, three points.
18:43Emma gets four points, but Jack D wins the task and five points!
18:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:48Wow.
18:50I'd love to see a scoreboard, please.
18:52All right, well, there are joint leaders at this stage.
18:55It is Jack and Emma on eight points.
18:57Here they are.
18:58APPLAUSE
19:01Another one, please.
19:03Yes.
19:04And we're off to a theme park.
19:06Oh, my God.
19:23How are you standing like that, bro?
19:25It's quite windy.
19:26I've got a really bad feeling about this.
19:29Have you been on any of the rides?
19:30No, I haven't.
19:32No, I haven't.
19:32Um, because, er...
19:33It's closed.
19:35LAUGHTER
19:36Yeah.
19:37Knock over exactly a hundred cans.
19:43You must throw all five balls.
19:48And pull one rope nice and hard.
19:52You must stay on the spot at all times, and you may not move the spot.
19:59Closest to 100 cans wins.
20:02Your time starts now.
20:05APPLAUSE
20:09Let's have a look, then.
20:10All right, we're going to begin with one man.
20:12He's dressed as a sportsman.
20:13But can he sportsman?
20:15It's Andy Zoltzman.
20:16LAUGHTER
20:18Exactly a hundred cans.
20:19How many cans are there?
20:20I reckon there's 200 cans.
20:21200 cans, right.
20:22Yeah.
20:23I'll do that.
20:24OK.
20:32I think that's 70 cans down.
20:36So this is your sport?
20:38Pressure is on here.
20:40OK.
20:45Right, I was hoping to get all of them down in one go.
20:52I'd say that was unlucky.
21:00Oh, damn!
21:02What if I throw a tin?
21:10You've opened it.
21:12Right, I'm running out of balls.
21:14Running out of tins.
21:29I was doing very well there.
21:31I very nearly stopped.
21:33That's the most disappointed I've been in a long time.
21:36LAUGHTER
21:42APPLAUSE
21:45It was all very impressive initially.
21:47And then, well, what I think is the Zoltzman equivalent
21:50of anarchy happened.
21:51Yeah.
21:52That being, you angrily throwing a yoga ball to the left.
21:57Yeah, what else do you do with yoga balls?
21:58I've never really seen what they're for,
22:00apart from hurling in a fit of rage.
22:03So I haven't counted, I haven't been knocked down.
22:05There's some good news.
22:06You miscounted at the beginning.
22:07You thought there were 200 cans there.
22:09There were actually 160 cans there.
22:11Oh, right.
22:12You knocked over 104 cans.
22:14Oh!
22:15In school, bro, man's a comedian, bro.
22:17Like, what do you think?
22:19LAUGHTER
22:24Oh, fuck!
22:27LAUGHTER
22:37Keep pulling, just keep pulling.
22:41Wait!
22:42I'm not done yet.
22:43I got this, innit?
22:49Yes, baby!
22:52Ah!
22:53If I keep going higher, let's go low.
22:56Oh!
22:57For goodness sake, man!
22:59Alright, big up.
23:00Big up.
23:01Later.
23:03LAUGHTER
23:07What the hell?
23:13Neither of you thought to count the cans
23:16before you started throwing.
23:18Yeah, I'm just going to go for it.
23:19You want me to stand there and be like,
23:20one, two, three...
23:21I ain't doing all of that, right?
23:22LAUGHTER
23:23No, no, I understand that at school
23:25you got out of most subjects
23:26by telling them you were a comedian, it seems.
23:28LAUGHTER
23:30I'm not doing maths, I'm a comedian.
23:32That's it.
23:33He didn't learn throwing at school.
23:34He's a comedian.
23:36Rosie, there's some awful heartbreaking moments for you.
23:39I've never seen the phrase,
23:40yeah, baby, so close to the phrase, oh, no.
23:44LAUGHTER
23:44I don't want to say that they were Leon in the series,
23:52but I've got cerebral palsy!
23:56Oh, come on!
23:59LAUGHTER
24:01Oh, Winky's not having that!
24:06LAUGHTER
24:07Compared to Bubba's 32.
24:10APPLAUSE
24:12Right, we'll each have another break.
24:13It's a chance for Alex to count all of his friends.
24:17Welcome back to Taskmaster!
24:20LAUGHTER
24:26APPLAUSE
24:30Oh, hello!
24:32You've joined us for the third part of the show
24:35and some more throwing at the theme park.
24:37Yes, these adults are trying to knock some cans over with some balls.
24:41And finally, uh-oh, it's Jack and Emma grouped together again.
24:45OK, so, how many cans are there?
24:4817...
24:5021...
24:51So, that's going to be...
24:54Yeah...
24:56I can't be bothered!
24:58LAUGHTER
24:5940...
25:0140...
25:0240 times four...
25:04..is 160 cans!
25:06There's, uh, 160 there.
25:12Are you just getting rid of the balls?
25:14So, I'm going to try and just get...
25:16Ah!
25:18OK, I don't...
25:19OK.
25:26My dad played rugby for England.
25:34Might actually just...
25:37Come to Daddy.
25:43Oh, God!
25:45What a shame!
25:46What a shame!
25:47What a shame!
25:47This one's pointless, but we'll try anyway.
25:50Oh!
25:51Oh!
25:51Oh!
25:52Oh!
25:52Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:54Oh!
25:55Oh!
25:55Oh!
25:58Oh!
25:59Oh!
25:59Oh!
26:00Oh!
26:02Oh!
26:03Oh, it feels so difficult!
26:14So...
26:17That's a disappointment.
26:19Yeah.
26:20I might be able to use this.
26:21If I couldn't hook them over,
26:25and then...
26:26Alright
26:41It's gonna miss
26:53What I've written down is the juxtaposition of the sentence my dad's played rugby for England and
27:00The throws that we witnessed following that sentence sounds melodramatic. I think it might destroy your family
27:08Is it too early in the series to say I don't have
27:19She did not go over more than Bubba she knocked over 36, which is good Jack
27:25You've made a career out of not looking very happy. I've got a theory secretly you were loving that a
27:30panic cathartic I suppose
27:32I would do that again. Actually. I wouldn't mind. Yeah, how many accounts got knocked out at least they bothered
27:37to count
27:38Yes, well, I can tell you we know Bubba was 32 Emma 36 Rosie 47 Jack 68
27:45approaching
27:52I don't want to show you one extra replay though. Do you mind? Yeah, okay. Here we go
28:03Oh
28:06Nice pop of the legs though
28:10That means that Andy doesn't get any points
28:13Bubba goes up to two points three to Emma four to Rosie and Jack wins the task and five points
28:20And it's got knocked out at least they bothered to count yes, well, I can tell you we know Bubba
28:24was 32
28:25Emma 36 Rosie 47 Jack 68
28:29So approaching
28:30yeah, obviously
28:32I don't want to show you one extra replay though. Do you mind? Yeah, okay. Here we go
28:51Nice pop of the legs though
28:55That means that Andy doesn't get any points
28:57Oh
28:58Bubba goes up to two points three to Emma four to Rosie and Jack wins the task and five points
29:02Oh
29:02I
29:07Don't look like it's horn
29:09Babbling on babblously
29:12Yeah, your time started now Jack your time has now started your time was started
29:16I've had to say a word like that in the time where your time has started it starts now. Yes,
29:21because you didn't say we're beginning with B for five seconds
29:23Oh
29:25I'm not into that
29:28Get some soap and make some bubbles come on
29:33Can I get naked
29:36Oh
29:37That is beautiful
29:39Okay
29:45You announced you're gonna make bubbles in this the bubble task as if you had a great idea
29:52Yeah
29:52You even said come on afterwards
29:54Yeah, but obviously you gotta get some soap and could I do it for the children
29:59Like if I don't buy like bubble solution water like you know the one that you can just buy if
30:03I'll do it by myself
30:04And you'll play on your own with bubbles
30:06No for my children
30:07Oh, you said you do on your own sometimes
30:10I like make the bubbles you've got to make the bubble solution and I put it in the machine
30:14I know how to make bubbles Bubba
30:16Then listen to what I'm listening to you
30:18You clearly ain't
30:19I just want to establish whether you play with bubbles on your own
30:22No, don't play with bubbles on my own bro
30:24What a comedian
30:28Okay, the first two we're gonna see are Jack D and Bubble Tunday
30:35Here we go
30:37Are you into any particular types of bubbles Jack?
30:40Well champagne I like
30:41Like a bit of champagne
30:43We've got champagne
30:44Where?
30:45Where's the champagne?
30:48Right, I'mma draw my daughter
30:50She's two months and she's so beautiful
30:53Bring it to me
30:54Do you want me to bring you champagne?
30:55Yeah, and some glasses
30:56This are arms
30:58Will do like legs
31:01Oh, she is beautiful
31:03This is a vegan non-alcoholic
31:06Yeah
31:06Is there any other way you can take fun out of champagne?
31:12You've got real chocolate
31:13Get yourself some penguin
31:15Who wants dark chocolate?
31:17Like come on man, I'm not a psychopath
31:18You know what I'm saying?
31:19I'd like you Alex to pass this round to the crew
31:22So that they all have some
31:23What a beautiful thing Jack
31:25Yeah, I think
31:26Thank you, you've said it
31:27Let's get some flowers
31:29I mean
31:32Should we keep one for Greg?
31:34That's a good idea
31:34Which one do you think you'd want?
31:35Probably have a pint with me
31:37Ready for this my guy?
31:39I'm ready
31:42It's my match
31:43It's my match
31:47To everyone
31:48Thank you for having me here
31:50And looking after me so nicely
31:54Thank you for
31:55Yeah, enjoy this drink with me
31:57And I wish you peace and happiness
31:59And
32:03What's wrong with him?
32:06What's wrong with him?
32:13Peace and happiness and I hope all your dreams come true
32:16I want a beautiful toast
32:18Thank you
32:23You like that broad?
32:24Yeah
32:26Bringing joy to your heart
32:37How lovely that you involved the crew
32:39I mean that
32:40Yeah
32:41We don't
32:41You know they work very hard on the show
32:43I know
32:43And they never get anything
32:44As they were saying to me earlier
32:47They don't
32:48You know why?
32:48Why?
32:49Because Alex
32:49Do you know what he calls them behind their back?
32:51Oh
32:51He calls them the faceless facilitators of his junior
32:57Thank you
32:57It was nice to see them briefly happy
33:00And when I left they just said
33:02Jack thank you
33:11Pleased with your accent?
33:12I'm going to own it
33:13Yes I was
33:13I was pleased with it
33:14Because you know
33:16Honouring my new baby girl
33:17And
33:18Yes
33:18That was genuinely sweet
33:20That was
33:20Can we have a look at the painting of his daughter?
33:22His beautiful 11 week old daughter?
33:25Here she is
33:28I think I ripped this up afterwards
33:30Because
33:31I'm ashamed
33:32I can actually draw
33:33You can actually draw?
33:34I can actually draw
33:34I'm a good drawer
33:35Well you didn't?
33:36You didn't do art of school
33:37All right
33:42Just so you know
33:43He said the word bang
33:44Every time he drew a thing
33:45He also said that his sperm and genes
33:46And DNA were elite
33:50You should see my son and daughter
33:52I'm telling you man
33:53They're gorgeous
33:53When my daughter was born
33:54The whole hospital
33:55They were like
33:55Oh my days
33:57She's so gorgeous
33:58Even the really ill people
34:01Well it's time for Mr. Steps off the spot himself
34:04It's Andy's office
34:06And
34:06Action
34:11Come
34:12Beauty ends the bubble
34:15I am bubble
34:17Am I beautiful?
34:19Tell me
34:20What
34:21Is beauty?
34:23I have dreams of what a sphere can become
34:27But I know
34:28Change
34:29Changes
34:30Change
34:30And the world becomes new again
34:33We create
34:34We destroy
34:35We are destroyed
34:37We were created
34:39Life
34:40Isn't the unexpected
34:43Try the orange
34:45For I know
34:46As a bubble
34:47Things never stay the same
34:50Things never change
34:51We are all bubbles
34:54Bubbles doomed to die
34:57But our beauty
34:58Lives forever
35:01Work the camera
35:02For fuck's sake
35:04For homme
35:05For femme
35:06For le taskmaster
35:07Et son petit ami
35:09Alex Oehne
35:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:19I don't actually have anything negative to say about it
35:25We are all bubbles waiting to burst
35:27Exactly
35:27Well we are
35:28It's exploration of
35:30The sort of fragility that this show too often shies away from
35:33Andy I thought it was excellent
35:34Thank you
35:35Time for the final break of the night
35:37Who will not only win the episode
35:39But also take home a lung and Jack D's rancid old toothbrush
35:42What an adrenaline rush
35:44I feel like I'm tripping in Woodstock man
35:47See you soon
35:49Thank you
35:49Thank you
35:51Thank you
35:55Thank you
35:56Thank you
35:57Welcome back
35:59Welcome back to the final part of this new series
36:02Who's next in line to do something beautiful with bubbles, Alex?
36:06Ooh, a top-notch question, Greg, and a lovely voice
36:09It's Rosie and Siddy Jones and Emma
36:22I'm not Rosie
36:24I am the bubble comb fairy
36:32Oh
36:36Greg oh
36:38Greg I am doing the most beautiful thing with bubbles a beautiful babe having a bubble bath
36:51Say
36:54Yes, but
37:00Is that because I know them all right?
37:13What are you doing tonight bubble baths, maybe?
37:22I said that you want more
37:30Because you like bubblegum
37:37It's a bubblegum
37:39It is
37:41I can't really do bubblegum
37:42It is
37:43How much more?
37:44More?
37:46More?
37:55And I know
37:57You want the bubblegum dance
38:02Bubblegum fairy
38:10Bubblegum fairy
38:24Bubblegum fairy
38:27And now I live
38:31Won't
38:33Drop
38:41I think what we have to
38:43The three of us have to talk about is your understanding of the word beautiful
38:47Probably
38:48No, I think I nailed it
38:53Do you?
38:54LAUGHTER
38:56Honestly there is nothing more beautiful in life than
39:03Than the bubblegum fairy
39:05Yeah
39:06Played by the most beautiful woman in life
39:11Right, well I'm not going to comment on your personal beauty because I'm looking only at the character
39:17And
39:19Personally
39:22I found the bubblegum fairy to be quite irritating
39:27Emma, let's talk about your beauty
39:30Yes
39:30When you started erotically eating the chocolate
39:34I think you just looked hammered
39:41And I'm very flattered to be offered a bath with a lady but I would prefer it
39:45If she hadn't been out for 12 pints
39:48I think beauty's in the eye of the beholder
39:50Yes, and I'm the beholder
39:52Totally fine
39:53That I do accept
39:55Yeah
39:55But I would you rather share my bath with
40:01What, Emma or the bubblegum fairy?
40:04Well, Emma
40:06A hundred times over
40:09Sorry, bitch
40:10Sorry
40:17Go on then, Greg
40:18Well, who do you think is going to get one point?
40:21I'll give you a clue
40:24One point to Rosie, well done mate
40:26Yeah, good
40:26I mean if the chocolate goblin woman of nondescript nationality hadn't been so drunk
40:31She might have got more than two points
40:33Two to Emma, got it
40:35I think the sentiment of sharing bubbles with a largely ignored and often much derided crew
40:43Right
40:43With him
40:44It is quite beautiful and deserves three points
40:46Three points for Jack
40:47Got it
40:48I'm going to give Baba's beautiful daughter four points
40:50Four, got it
40:51We must recognise artistic genius when we see it and Andy gets five points
40:54OK, well done
40:55Andy, fair chance
40:57OK then
40:58Everyone, please make your way to the stage for your first final task of the show
41:10Who's reading the task?
41:12Emma is going to read the task
41:13Is she?
41:14I hope you'll include a wink in this read
41:18Excuse me
41:23Drink the vinegar
41:26On your turn you can either drink from one straw or not drink at all
41:31And get a clue from Alex instead
41:33You must stand on the spot when choosing your straw
41:36And you must never stray from the spot
41:38OK
41:40Only the vinegar drinker wins
41:42There's five points at stake here
41:44No one else will get any points at all Greg
41:46Wow
41:46They can choose to either
41:48Tell me which number they're going to drink from and then drink from it
41:50Yep
41:51Or they can get a clue from me
41:52The clue refers to the numbers in front of the straws
41:56Up you come Rosie
42:02So Rosie, would you like to drink or get a clue?
42:04So I'm going to go for it
42:08OK, which number are you going to drink from?
42:09Ten
42:09Off you go
42:10Down and down
42:11Whoa!
42:15This is a get-fighting to happen
42:27Have you drunk vinegar?
42:30No
42:32I like it
42:33OK
42:34A bit fishy
42:36Yes, it is a bit fishy
42:37It's tomato juice
42:40OK, Jack, would you like a clue or a drink?
42:41Um, uh, let's try a clue
42:44OK
42:51You're such a weird man
42:54You must now return to your spot
42:56Oh, that's true
42:57Oh, a clue for you, Sam
42:58I get that
43:00Clue, clue
43:01Clue as well?
43:01Yeah, yeah
43:02Yeah, yeah
43:04Yeah, yeah
43:04Yeah, yeah
43:05Yeah, yeah
43:11Here we go
43:12What number are you going to choose?
43:13Sixteen
43:14Sixteen
43:14Wow, confident
43:16I'm not
43:17I don't like this, man
43:20Do you not like a lovely vinegar drink?
43:25Is it vinegar?
43:27No, that ain't vinegar, but
43:28I don't know
43:29That's all right
43:29It's iced tea
43:30It's iced tea
43:31It's iced tea
43:32It's iced tea
43:32It's iced tea
43:33It's iced tea
43:35It's iced tea
43:43Clue or suck
43:46A clue, please, Alex
43:48Clue, here it comes
43:49I'm nearly there
43:49Here I am
43:52It's a lot of this, isn't it?
43:55Just let me seductively get it out of the way for you
44:03OK
44:06I'm going to suck
44:09But I'm also going to try and get your clue
44:15Cool
44:16I think it's a prime number
44:21I do like them
44:22So I'm going to go for 17
44:29OK
44:31Right, Tom
44:38She drank the vinegar!
44:46Right
44:48Well, that goes five points
44:49Come down here
44:50Let's see how that affects the final score
44:58Very good
44:59So you getting there
45:00You just guessed it
45:01Is it?
45:02I thought the clue was a prime number
45:06Why?
45:07Because Alex is so boring
45:10Yeah
45:12Do you want to see the scoreboard?
45:13Yeah
45:13It's unbelievable
45:14She was in third place before
45:15But now she's in first place
45:16Rosie Jones has 17 points
45:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:23Rosie Jones wins episode one
45:25Please go and collect the things that have been inside your rival
45:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:44Yes
45:45Jess
46:00I must be the hero
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