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Court métrageTranscription
00:08all these decisions vetted out it it wasn't easy uh it came with the fucking conversation
00:14of extreme back and forth we we said that we were going to come out with a handful a handful
00:19was five but we made a decision to do something was just made up on the spot uh we're not
00:25done
00:26we still got more we're going to take six instead of five so the sixth person going to callbacks is
00:36ray yeah i gotta give way a shot as well man you know originality it's rare we've all done the
00:51same
00:51shit we all do the same shit so when you find a unique twist i think that should be
00:55highlighted i got it i thought it was dope as fuck which is why i think you're deserving of the
00:59next stage of the concert okay i think i represented myself very well but i'll be mad i'll be madder
01:08because there's motivation i feel like i should be moving on to the next round but here we are
01:15i'm trying to keep it cute right now it is you know it sucks but uh what can you do
01:23you can you
01:23continue on that's that's six but you know what this is my show my rules and i want to give
01:29someone
01:30the shot pat i want to give you what i would consider to be our bubble spot which means my
01:36alternate we need to see what happens in chicago if i feel like i need more talent you'll be my
01:41first
01:41call what i want to see is that you to come back and be a little more precise in the
01:45understanding of
01:46that five minute set and what it's supposed to be i understand what kevin hart told me i look forward
01:51to if i get another chance to leave no doubt to those that were not mentioned i can't say it
01:57enough
01:57please everybody relish an idea that you guys did your job for those that we did choose relish in the
02:03moment that it's not over for you i look forward to seeing what you do next uh this was a
02:07dope ass
02:07showcase man so thank you all for participating i appreciate the time all right thank you guys
02:19this la showcase was great i chose six comedians to go through instead of five so i feel good but
02:26i haven't seen chicago so you know who i feel good about today i may feel not as good about
02:32tomorrow
02:32that's the beauty of being the competition so i hope that the competition gets better and it gets more
02:37difficult to make choices because that means we have that much amazing talent
02:39i just want to call you and tell you that i i made it to the next round in the
02:45competition it's
02:46pretty exciting she said look at my new shirt that i'm wearing oh it looks good anyway back to the
02:55netflix thing remember i said remember back to the netflix thing i made it to the next round
03:05so many comedy people just do comedy and they don't live a life no and they go every night to
03:10the comedy club and i'm like but you can't what are you talking about yeah the people sitting in
03:14the audience are all having a ton of different life experiences yeah you have to have some of
03:18those experiences you have to go to prog or to home depot get those experiences so that when stupid
03:24things happen to me i'm like okay how can i incorporate that ultimately it's about the lab
03:29it's about the material when my mom passed away my dad passed away i went straight to the stage and
03:34found material to use in the moment right that's that's how i dealt with the cemetery you should
03:39have gone to the funeral well after after the funeral when i finally went to the stage right after the
03:44funeral that i put about a week in between the funeral was at the comedy the coffin was right
04:00we've hit new york we've hit l.a narrowed our selections down to 11. and now i'm in our final
04:07city and our nationwide search to find who's funny a.m we've invited comedians from the
04:13south and all over the midwest including the locals to meet us in the windy city there's no one i'd
04:19rather do this search with than my guy kumel nagiani kumel started by doing open mics here he turned
04:25his experience into an oscar-nominated movie became a marvel superhero and is now one of hollywood's
04:31brightest filmmakers he's had a hell of a career and it all started here in chicago how you doing good
04:36welcome to chicago i'm excited man how are you got some good here too right yeah we got a lot
04:41of great
04:41comedy for me the most exciting feeling in the world is watching someone i've never seen before
04:45and becoming a fan well then let's do our job today all right let's do it i'm excited all right
04:50who's
04:51here who am i laughing yeah who's gonna make us look bad cool here we go well well well the
04:58gang has
04:59arrived my boy they let you wear the jumpsuit they let you wear a canadian tuxedo well that's all i
05:04fucking had you know it's the ladies the ladies i gotta be surrounded by them you know what about
05:11you where you from south side chicago right here baby what's comedy like there uh it depends on what
05:18side of the town you're on see chicago comedy is kind of segregated right so you got the north side
05:23comedy where you'll find chris and then you'll got the south side comedy where you'll find us right right
05:29right right right right chicago breeds a very special type of comedian like hannibal berrs john belushi
05:40and the late great bernie mack chicago comedy it's an edge it's a we should be in the top of
05:47the
05:47conversation when you think comedy guys this is an exciting time because of our love for the craft we
06:01want to help find new people that could possibly be next right i want to say i think comedy competitions
06:08are i really do i've done them i i hate them contests are hard and i know you guys are
06:16probably
06:17nervous but i did this because kevin really really really loves comedy and wants to give a shot to
06:23all of you right you're taking a handful of comedians that will represent our chicago portion of this
06:28competition and then those people will go to callbacks in la all right handful doesn't mean a handful
06:34everybody can't go that's the reality of it so the winner will see a netflix comedy special
06:44so show up show out man okay i'm excited to see you guys come on have fun
06:55the one thing that you know and the same thing i know there's nothing more valuable than a good five
07:00minute set in the beginning of your career type five oh my god is what it's what you were built
07:04on
07:04yeah when i did i did letterman i did kimmel i did conan type five it's our time now yeah
07:09it's time we're
07:10locking in though to perform at home in front of my people means the world to me one of the
07:17things that
07:17i talk about on stage is myself my family the day-to-day operations of how you navigate being a
07:2340-year-old
07:24grandmother i plan to just literally bring them right into my living room and give them a taste
07:30of my organized chaos one joke at a time y'all better get ready because i'm ready let's go
07:46it's that time y'all i lied i'm shaking that was just a hype for them i lied i feel
07:53anxious i'm nervous
07:54the butterflies are there but it don't matter i'm still like let's do it let's get it for the one
08:01only miss corey bale
08:12i just want y'all to see just how fly i am y'all see it y'all see it
08:18and see the young girls i
08:19they they confused because i need y'all to know what grandmothers look like where my grandmothers at
08:26gone are the days of the moo-moos bitch we outside we not watching no more kids
08:34we catching flights now we we popping we popping passports that's what we do
08:39and i keep trying to be nice to my daughter my daughter had two kids and she's a great mother
08:45like she stayed at home with her babies she did what she had to do and one day she called
08:49me and she said
08:49mom can the babies come over i just want to go out with my friends and i had to let
08:54her know i said
08:55listen those are my grandbabies and as long as i got an address they can come over here
08:59anytime that they want to now i gotta watch what the i say
09:05do y'all know this little had packed a note in the diaper bag like i didn't raise five kids
09:13all
09:13motherfucking right like i don't know what i'm doing and they said hey mom this is emily's food
09:18and her feeding schedule please do not divert first of all where the you learned that word from
09:26but you went to public school i did all your spelling says divert was never on there
09:31it was never fucking on there in this bag there was a a a little package and it said sweet
09:37potatoes
09:38squash carrots and on the very top it said quinoa okay so listen
09:46i don't even know what the fuck it is an animal vegetable or mineral i don't know if i'm supposed
09:51to sprinkle the shit on huh you say it's what k what bitch ain't no k or no w in
09:58that
10:02q ui n oa is queen noah i know that much
10:08you come get this fucking baby you trying to raise a credit score
10:14come get this fucking queen noah and you know what while you edit take the i-kai berry out of
10:19here too because i don't know what the fuck that is
10:24what'd you say i'm sorry girl fuck you
10:30a-c-a-i spell i-kai
10:34i ain't never seen i-kai berry i know strawberry blackberry blueberry
10:40berry white bitch them the berries i know no shit about no motherfucking i-kai berry
10:47fuck her and fuck them grandkids my name is cory bell i love y'all so much good night
10:53wow look at that very good very good very good
10:59she gave her a ovation
11:03well she really knew her voice she knew how to get the crowd she was reacting to them
11:07right what the what the what just happened bro that's crazy yeah you went nuts i'm not gonna
11:15lie you went i don't even remember if i said my name you did oh my god i set him
11:20up for you though
11:21brother yeah yeah but also too you saw a lot of energy like oh yeah like that was a loud
11:26voice
11:26you should grab the hold of that crowd from the beginning yes she came out never flagged was just
11:31always on the offensive yes the goal is to try and get a standing ovation in five minutes that's what
11:36you should be going for they stood up and that was crazy it was i feel amazing i feel amazing
11:46i
11:46hope i hope kevin and the and the judges like it i seen her i got so scared my name's
11:51caleb elliott
11:52i grew up in north carolina you know i'm a young person but i'm an old comic 28 years old
11:58and i've
11:58been doing stand-up for 17 years about 14 me and my dad we would drive an hour hour 15
12:0430 minutes
12:04every week just for like seven minutes of material i would write the jokes and then my dad was like
12:11my coach like stand-up became my sport and you never think anything else will come up when you're
12:17doing it that young i am nervous about performing in chicago it's different it's the people are
12:26different you know the lifestyle is different i'm from the country you know i'm from the south i'm
12:31excited to see see if i can keep up with all the chicago comments chicago how y'all doing
12:37my name is caleb elliott i'm from north carolina so i'm not used to the chicago ways beautiful woman
12:42in here too good to see y'all that's fantastic i'm single just in case anybody
12:49please i um
12:52i'm excited i'm trying to get better i'm trying to get better at flirting like i don't have no game
12:56i'm trying to get better at spin game recently i was in new york and i did a show in
13:01new york after
13:01one of the shows i'm excited to tell you after one of the shows uh this girl came up to
13:04me she was
13:05hitting on me after one of the okay yeah hold your applause no she was she was flirting on me
13:16it was
13:16very cool it was very cool i do not have a joke about that i've just been telling people so
13:22it was so it was so exciting i didn't know what to do man i was scared i was scared
13:29because i'm in the game my friend's like bro you gotta flirt you gotta say something cool back and i
13:32was like i said girl who did who'd you vote for like i don't know what to say like days
13:39are days
13:40always been tough for me just because i'm i'm i'm cute i don't know y'all stop y'all stop
13:49flirting with me no it's i'm i'm adorable
13:55but i don't i don't want to be
13:59because i'm i'm a man
14:03i am i'm a grown adult male this is this is i'm full grown this is as big as i
14:11get and
14:13i wish i was sexy man which i you know which i was like a sexy dude you know what
14:17i'm saying you
14:17know i'm sorry i'm sorry i try to impersonate a sexy dude laughing you know you know
14:26you know you gotta rub your chest too if you said
14:30you're sexy that's cool man that's cool i don't have a i don't have a chest so i can't
14:38hey i'm kayla billy y'all were great man thank you all so much
14:44we did a whole set about one thing i i like the awkwardness i like the self-deprecation there
14:50was an innocence to it but a vulnerability and a like and i think the awkwardness is hard because
14:54he would sometimes let things sit for a second before he broke it that takes a lot of confidence
14:59stayed in it just sit in silence so that was great i wish i could do it again it's weird
15:04because when
15:04you're doing tapings you're like there's like three parts of your brain working yeah it's like
15:09not just president it's also what do i look like it's what i look like and what am i saying
15:13yeah yeah
15:13it's like it's like inception in your brain yeah two three different because i'm like was i
15:17doing like i know i said the words right but i was like what was i doing
15:24come on mr cameraman
15:29i said hey man you can't be like drinking and stuff like that and i said
15:33i'm well come on
15:36the rattlesnakes and condoms two things we don't with
15:43did you bomb you don't feel bad i don't feel i don't feel a thing there's a there's a lesson
15:47and all it did not bother i remember every single bomb i've had and it was always the worst night
15:52of my life really oh yeah i didn't have my first bomb until like i was three or four months
15:57in that's
15:57what happened to me too because if it had happened i would have given up if i'd bombed once in
16:02my first
16:02month i would have never done it they weren't even angry at me they were sad for me like oh
16:06he thinks
16:06she could do this it's so bad when you go out and blow all of your good jokes and then
16:13you look
16:14and you have 10 minutes left you're like yeah you didn't like that this is all much worse than that
16:22wait a minute bro wait a minute you ask the right person you might get one now i'm from cincinnati
16:27doing comedy for 14 years i always thought i was the funniest motherfucker in every room i've ever
16:32walked in you warmed up i mean show me look at me i'm in a sweatsuit do the warm up
16:36i'm chilling
16:41do less that's my whole warm-up calm down be quiet inside remind yourself you've done all the work
16:47already go do that thing you've been doing on stage i'm chilling i'd much rather lull you to death with
16:52a couple of jabs and then hit you with the hook that you don't even see coming watch me go
16:56bomb go
16:57do that thing you've been doing oh hell yeah i like being in a room like this man we're all
17:15together in this country they try to tell us how divided we are right now we're laughing at the same
17:18shit smile at the same shit you know what i'm saying we're much more unified than they give us credit
17:22for
17:22you know what i mean like i tell you one thing can we all come together here and agree that
17:29we're
17:29at a point in this country where we can admit we miss george w bush i forgot how black the
17:35room was my
17:36bad ride with me on this you know what i'm saying here's the thing man i'll be reminiscing about the
17:42early 2000s like one thing i'll say right i'll tell you straight up it was easier being a straight
17:45white dude back then you know what i'm saying i mean it's still like you know what i mean but
17:52the weird thing about being a straight white dude right now is we're supposed to act like it's not
17:56going great but like between you and me we're still killing it like i drove here on a boulevard of
18:02green lights like i'm doing fine you know what i'm saying like look what i what i the thing about
18:08being a straight white dude right now is we're supposed to act like things aren't going great but it is
18:12you know what i'm saying we're doing fine but like all i know is
18:19i know this feeling oh you know what i'm saying
18:28talking about being a straight white honky in the middle of this
18:32it's easy to be like man i'm good everything's fine and then you get in there and you're like
18:36oh i forgot a moment and it that it took it took all the momentum away what i saw was
18:41dealing with
18:42silence took him to a place to where his his rhythm was off he couldn't get back to the place
18:48you could
18:48feel confidence or the place of i've been there but look i'm not here to highlight the bad i'm here
18:53to
18:54to find the good and talk about where the potholes present themselves yeah i wasn't always a comedian
19:01i used to be a law professor which is generally how people become comedians but i was nervous to tell
19:07my mother she was like what are you gonna do for money and i didn't like that she asked that
19:12so i
19:12just gave it back to her i was like well mommy i could prostitute
19:18she was like oh elizabeth
19:23yeah and i was like insult i'm like my mommy doesn't think i could prostitute
19:29i am a lesbian i feel like at some point i got gay enough i didn't have to tell you
19:32okay i'm pretty
19:34sure you all knew you didn't say anything it would have been good for the lesbian stuff to be moved
19:40up it should be mixed up in there and now being a prostitute as a lesbian right now it completely
19:47opens up a whole other area of joe i just recently like went back to visit my family dude i've
19:52been
19:52trying to like go back and like visit them more often but uh in doing so i've had to come
19:58to terms with
19:59the fact that uh we are white trash didn't really think we were to be honest with you guys
20:09until i was hanging out with my cousin abby and her baby daddy travis
20:16he was bitching about his child support payments dude he's like i pay 480 a month per kid
20:25basically like i'm working to pay for these kids
20:30yeah
20:33i mean that's the support part travis i don't know if you knew that but
20:39he's on parole right now too dude
20:42with really good timing i 1000 agree um i do not think
20:48that was strong enough to change my org uh so he doesn't make the bubble for you no
20:53despite all his belly i haven't managed to pick me up a fine looking lady man hell yeah we're
20:58thinking uh about having this big wedding but it's getting a little out of control
21:02you know she's talking about she wants to have 11 bridesmaids that means i got to come up with 11
21:06groomsmen i don't know 11 people like like i already know the day of the wedding i'm gonna get
21:12desperate show up to home depot looking for some day labors
21:17i have two suits in my hands like does anybody here know the cupid shuffle
21:22uh a lot of the punchlines didn't really have the payoff that i'm hooked that they would have
21:27no longer just set up the heart of the punchline as to head right
21:34i pay rent late sometimes i don't feel good about it but when i do i try to make up
21:38for it i try to
21:39deliver the rent to my landlord in person you know own up to my mistake man to man lord to
21:44peasant i'll be like here are your rents my lord i'm so very sorry that the blooms were tardy this
21:52moon cycle but as you know banditry has been rampant on the streets these days and rent will
21:58be late next month you take care if and when you are addressing the specific niche you have to paint
22:04the picture and make sure that your audience is able to come with you you gotta make me understand
22:09it right so um i think
22:15i think in a showcase this should be a much more difficult conversation for us we should we should
22:21be shuffling the puzzle so much more wait but this wait but what'd you think it is we're not doing
22:27that enough no that's right a little disappointed how are the new york la showcases
22:32would you say it was stronger than this yes that's the other thing those are people who
22:36already moved to l.a and new york these are people who are still in chicago or texas or wherever
22:41this needs a little yes it was a bad show you know you want to see a lot of strong
22:48performances
22:48right and i just have to be honest um as a judge and as somebody that's trying to find this
22:53this
22:55person of new it wasn't great we're halfway through and i'm not loving what i'm seeing so far
23:00in los angeles i gave a bubble spot to pat johnson i think john cena is the most accomplished
23:07monkey-faced white man that there ever has been yes with what i'm seeing so far here in chicago
23:15in the interest of having a strong group of callbacks i think i better shake things up a little bit
23:20pat pat johnson oh man i told you the off position was uh one that i did on the spot
23:28you know within
23:28this opportunity to put together the next version of a five minute set you can shock me and possibly
23:33shock the world so i didn't want to give up on you i wanted to see you in the next
23:36stages um and i'm
23:38excited right we come back to l.a and this portion of the competition it gets real so stand up
23:44do what you
23:45do show out all right my guy i'll see you in los angeles champ thank you see you soon yes
23:51sir all
23:52right but pat is definitely a comic that i want to see more from but that was up to him
23:57to deliver
23:58and show that he deserves the spot go do that thing man
24:02i was supposed to go to college for mechanical and electrical engineering when i was in high school
24:10i was building robots and whatnot i was on the robotics team so to go from that
24:14to all of a sudden i'm gonna talk about my dick in front of strangers yeah it's gonna ruffle some
24:19feathers my parents they love it now winning this competition can change my life a number of ways
24:28because kevin hart exposure is great kevin hart money or netflix opportunities that would be awesome
24:32i scoop ice cream hopefully i ain't got to do that no more
24:38all right let's get this out the way now this is my hair this is not a hat
24:46shut the up don't laugh at that listen i'm progressive hey you gay live your life be happy
24:53you lesbian live your life be happy you non-binary live your life but i got questions
25:00i got questions i get what i mean for the most part non-binary that kind of mean like you
25:04neither
25:04either or you both but you can't have the great qualities of both genders and the responsibilities
25:12of neither no no i know a lazy motherfucker when i see one you're not about to weasel your way
25:21out of
25:21this community work we got jobs here we split up the workload we said boys do this girls do this
25:28i
25:28saying what's right but we split up the workload now you sitting there with all these man muscles
25:34in this sexy ass dress
25:39and not gonna do nothing she
25:43you either gonna help us move this couch or start sucking some dick around here
25:54i don't give a fuck what you do but you get to work god damn it
26:02a lot of people think that's a homophobic joke i don't think it is
26:06i'm not homophobic i don't feel that at all right i'll tell you something homophobic y'all remember this
26:13show
26:13scared straight was a show where they would take badass kids right and they would put them in jail
26:19and they would talk about the different ways in which they would fuck them in ass just not
26:25hey this was the show
26:29grown men if you was in here i'd fuck you in the ass
26:32if you was in here i'd make you comb my chest hair and fuck you in the ass
26:37do you understand that's the whole reason we don't want to go to jail is to not get
26:41fucked in the butt that that's it
26:44i don't want to go to jail the police that's a difficult thing to to deal with period police
26:49be shooting people unarmed they always got the same dumb ass excuse i fear for my life you got a
26:53scary
26:54job motherfucker you can't be a bitch and the police you gotta pick one and that's my thing i know
27:00they
27:01ain't that scared at least not the white ones because i've got an instagram i've seen white people
27:06i've seen them interacting with animals no fear they'll grab a snake but no they won't they won't
27:12harm the snake or nothing i want to see the same patience used on a deer in the woods
27:19i want that same same there you go buddy you're all right you're all right oh a little feisty he's
27:28okay he's okay calm down buddy there you go there's some hot cheetos in hennessy there you go
27:36ladies and gentlemen that's my time i'm ron taylor it's a very good joke very very good
27:40thank you i like the coming out my hair looks like this and then immediately
27:45fuck y'all man like you like you didn't he's so likable that he can get away with that he
27:50can get
27:51away with edgier bits you know you talk about non-binary and people get a little like what's
27:55this gonna be and then he's just so likable that to me was not malicious that's a funny and his
28:01presence
28:01i could feel wasn't like constructed that's the hardest thing to teach being yourself on stage
28:08very hard i agree he was my favorite so far yeah fight spicy cooks toes not racist
28:18i am from columbus texas a small town i mean it was an amazing childhood parents are great
28:24uh which is apparently not good for stand up i'm gonna switch the opener it's probably a bad idea
28:31this could go bad because i'm a christian no sex jokes no no swearing but i don't think it's a
28:38hindrance
28:48what's up so good to be here my name is mason i'm uh i'm not racist
28:56and yeah it's good i've been told i give off a pretty racist vibe and um i love black people
29:04i really do i love black people i'm serious probably my favorite besides white for sure
29:08i love black friends i would like more i just wish the handshake wasn't so scary
29:16this is what i've noticed the higher they come in the more choreographed it's gonna be
29:20black guy comes up this high there's dancing involved dude it's like what's up so good to
29:25meet you man i'm married uh to a woman regular style and um i um
29:35i love marriage if you're thinking about marriage you should do it marriage is awesome
29:38uh it's up there you know it's right underneath being single just um
29:42marathon so good she got mad on her wedding day because i wasn't crying she was like why
29:47aren't you crying i was like i'm not sad you know she's like tears of joy i was like i'm
29:53not happy
29:59my family's cool they're very cool family uh they're very smart they love reading like this
30:03last christmas we're sitting around the dining table everybody's going in circles saying how
30:06many books they read that year and i was sitting there sweating trying to think of one book all
30:10right just one book that's not the bible you know so finally it was my turn they go mason how
30:15many
30:15books have you read give us your top three and now i have to think of three books all right
30:20bibles back
30:21on the table so i said the bible and then i made up a book called roger that and they
30:30were like what's
30:31that about i was like world war ii i think yeah and then the last book i said to catch
30:37a mockingbird
30:37and uh they were like to kill a mockingbird and i go yeah i love the sequel it's awesome you
30:44know
30:45all right you guys are awesome my name is mason thank you so much thank you
30:51everything flowed great punch lines good energy how about the boldness to come out yeah and have
30:59racist humor black is his second favorite after white that's very funny looking like that
31:08thanks guys you got it baby thank you baby you got it how you feel i'm feeling great
31:14you look great you are great thank you so much the tie looks nice do you guys like my tie
31:18yeah
31:18love the tie that tie is funny guys okay i gotta go i gotta go good luck thank you
31:25good luck thank you babe i've been doing comedy for five years
31:30i was really bad at school i had like a learning disability so i think i always felt like i
31:37had
31:37like a different thing going on than my peers hello i'm olivia keep it going for me
31:45i'm funny i am not good at other things it seems like i have to do this or i'll be
31:53a receptionist
31:54forever my boyfriend really wants me to call him daddy in bed and i got really shy when i said
32:02it
32:02and it sounded like i thought he actually was i was like daddy
32:11daddy my friend was like he just wants to feel like he's in charge so the next time i was
32:19like mom
32:26yeah he came really hard
32:31he's great though the last guy i was seeing was really close to his ex because they were still dating
32:40and my boyfriend he used to do this thing at the beginning where he would talk about other women
32:44being hot to me like a fool and i had to tell him the only time you can talk about
32:51another woman's
32:51appearance with me is if there's like an open casket
32:58you know you can say one time she was beautiful
33:04and i'm gonna be like well she got her makeup done
33:10and she hasn't eaten in days
33:20and my sister she's got two kids named george and walter
33:25and i agreed to watch them one time because i thought they'd be elderly men
33:32but it's got me thinking about my eggs right at my age i have like 400 000 left that's a
33:39lot
33:39of people you know that's a lot of white people it's starting to feel like a rally
33:47so i applied to sell them but did you know you can't sell your eggs if you have any tattoos
33:52or any history of like obsessive drinking or drug usage
33:55i was like what kind of women do you think are selling their eggs
34:04beggars can't be choosers
34:08i'm olivia carter thank you goodbye
34:16short setup very short setup i love it many many punch lines great great joke writing the number of
34:23jokes that we got during that set that might have been the highest density of jokes we've seen
34:27quick great use of five minutes she knows how to do five minutes that's exactly what i was going to
34:31say that was a very very good set strong
34:37how we doing chicago we good
34:40now i'm from i'm from i'm from atlanta atlanta atlanta a rough place atlanta rough other day this lady asked
34:46me she was like oh dan can you walk me to my car and i was like sure thing and
34:51as soon as we got to
34:51a car i'm like can you drive me to mine because i'm 115 pounds you thought this was a one
35:01-way trip
35:03because ladies it's a dick move to ask someone to walk you to your car because it's dangerous outside
35:09and then you just leave them there
35:15you know how many times i want a woman to a car at midnight we get to a car i'm
35:19like oh damn i guess
35:20i gotta walk back by myself she's like oh that's crazy good night why is it that when you're walking
35:27a woman to a car the city is the safest it's ever been and then as soon as you drop
35:32her off it turns to
35:33gotham right you just walking back to your car crackheads trying to make you solve riddles
35:40look like hey your blood was shaped like a rock but gets you high
35:45you're like nigga crack
35:48the answer's crack
35:52everyone in atlanta wants to own a gun i was walking with my white friend downtown atlanta he was like
35:56hey bro we good and he pulls up his shirt and he's got all right chill out
36:05he pulled he pulls up his shirt
36:08fuck you
36:11bitch i'm trying to win something
36:15that's funny
36:16not now
36:21i'm staying at the ac hotel though if you want
36:26try to ignore her ass i'm like i keep an eye on the drink
36:31goddamn orange hair distracting me
36:33i like that
36:35fuck yeah i fucking like that season didn't let it throw them off hit a joke in the moment yeah
36:43i will admit though men we don't know how to be safe because i was doing a private event for
36:50a
36:50rapper the other day and i was leaving and he was like hey man text me when you get home
36:54safe
36:54and i was like i'd rather die
36:58i'd rather get robbed shot than to text another grown man
37:04hey bro got home safe
37:08and then he double taps it and that heart pops up
37:12my name's daren galano i really appreciate y'all
37:15you know what you know what i like it i like it i like it
37:21yeah good material good presence a lot of uh ripping with the crowd but back with the material
37:27that's very hard to do even seasoned comedians struggle getting back yes yes
37:32going into that audience the way you did yeah
37:35yeah no i appreciate it it was a lot of fun like you said it was a lot of fun
37:38you're starting and you got a girl
37:39yeah and you got a girl and i know and i gotta grow out of that look at that
37:43i'm leaving with something i'm leaving with something
37:47right now if if i had to choose i got ron cory olivia i like olivia yeah i like olivia
37:56yeah
37:56right right now now the question is do you put his set above came up
38:04i don't know it's gross but this is where it gets good for you or not because now we're gonna
38:08have to make a decision it's gonna be tough i had a little bit of fear in me but chicago
38:15is starting the turn of the round and now we have a really crazy pool of talent
38:25i'm gonna see you on the other side there you go yeah i've only been doing a comedy four years
38:32i worked in northfield for 12 years before comedy yeah new mexico louisiana ohio pennsylvania
38:38everywhere just drilling holes in the ground when i quit my job i was making half a million dollars a
38:42year and i gotta tell my daddy hey i'm quitting this oil field job i'm gonna be a comic
38:49this is the biggest opportunity in my motherfucking life i want to win this just to prove
38:54not to anybody else but myself that quitting that job and starting all over at the age of 30
39:00could work chicago how the fuck we feeling now baby oh shit hey baby a lot of pretty women out
39:10in this
39:11mother fucker i'll tell you what i ain't forgot i'm uncle laser
39:17and i am the single mother slayer where them single mothers at let me i know i can smell y
39:24'all i can
39:25smell y'all y'all here smell like turkey baking in a microwave but they sexually aggressive now and look
39:35i'm guys i like i like a woman had a couple kids i like that who wallered out
39:43like that don't look like a mud flap on the back of an 18-wheeler just blowing around with a
39:47brief
39:48i don't want no part of it because i'm gonna be honest with y'all dead ass i'm gonna be
39:51honest with y'all
39:53hey tight make me claustrophobic you hear me it makes me claustrophobic
39:58i've seen this one little single mother though you know we like fooling around she you know
40:02that ain't like the new time you fuck somebody like this but she got up on some weird shit she's
40:07like hey i want you to make this pussy fuck
40:16i said do what she said i want you to make this pussy fuck i said can i talk to
40:24it first
40:26and she said yeah you could talk to her she go what that mouth do
40:32and i said hey let me not tell you let me show you
40:45and that pussy queen let me tell you something it startled me and i said what was that she said
40:49that's my pussy leaving you a review my name's uncle lazier y'all been great
40:58we out here at the end of the day we're all humans you know so just because i'm like my
41:02shit is different you know and i talk different i look different we still all go through the same
41:06shit you know what i'm saying so i just relay it in a different way than others just be somebody
41:11that somebody wants to be stuck in an elevator with because nobody wants to be stuck in an elevator with
41:15a fucking asshole uncle lazier the jokes are funny obviously great energy great energy i'd want to
41:21see what an hour of that looks like you know because everybody else you see like even if they're staying
41:25on topic for five minutes i can extrapolate back to what an hour is like with him i don't know
41:31does
41:31that like run out of steam i'm this i'm the single mom slayer and okay you know what yeah what
41:39else is
41:41what are your parents like yeah what else is interesting about you yeah i'm terrified i'm
41:47sweating under my titties okay yeah same yeah yeah my titties are fully soaked you definitely just broke
41:54my nerves you're not alone yeah yeah you're not alone thank you baby you got them anything on my teeth
42:09hello family i'm embracing 40 especially when i'm dating i'm dating now i'm back out here on the
42:15dating scene and i'm happy about it at 40 you can date the father or the son
42:21get you a little ceo or a janitor it don't matter you gotta be careful out here who you date
42:27though
42:27because you start dating these boys see you at 40 and be trying to get you pregnant at 40 and
42:31i can't
42:32do that i add miss t ever can't have no kids value sugar he's about why what's the reason i
42:39think
42:39we will make beautiful babies i said well first of all my you got eczema
42:46all the bad characteristics come from the daddy y'all know i ain't lying
42:51could y'all imagine 40 year old me with a small baby crying at 2 3 in the morning i'm
42:57trying to
42:57figure out what's wrong with the mother i'm giving them a bottle a pacifier a blanket a nipple whole
43:03time this nigga neck itch i may have no itchy ass baby i do a lot of things a itchy
43:14baby is not on my
43:15forecast i'm y'all favorite cousin tiara it was good see y'all good night that felt like one set
43:24one day punch lines every every few seconds there was something funny great energy very comfortable on
43:31stage too yeah she's very comfortable yeah also cousin tiara's that's a fun like little vibe to set
43:37up like hey i'm just your cousin talking to you one of the toughest hurdles of being a female comment
43:45is being treated like i was not too much of a threat whole time i'm that nigga you know what
43:52i mean but
43:53they don't need to know that hopefully this changed my life by giving me the exposure to people who didn't
43:59know i existed who didn't know how funny i was on the stand-up tip kevin hart get to see
44:04me it changed my life right there
44:06team sandals
44:12hold on look at all the niggas mad as hell he said thick bitch what
44:17y'all mad ain't you you ain't seen a nigga bitch with waist beads what's up
44:27i just wrapped up my 10 year gay contract think i'm a free agent
44:31my 10 my 10 year gay contract yeah i can't wait to come back to y'all boy i swear
44:39to god i miss y'all
44:40i've been gay 10 years i wish i would have read the fine print on this motherfucker i'm going back
44:46to
44:46niggas all right and i miss the attention from y'all i miss the attention i miss feeling a little
44:54creeped out and uncomfortable i miss that shit i miss it
45:00white boys y'all not exempt
45:04uh-huh for a fact the last guy i fucked was white
45:13and ladies let me tell y'all right now the stereotype is not true baby
45:18they got up credit too
45:23what are you guys gonna talk about the dick no no
45:35i'm getting me a fat one yeah i want me a big boy you hear me
45:41because i still need titties does that make sense
45:44i still need something to hold on to a big thing i want him serving crack
45:56no not drugs big ass like i want
46:02you know it's a big night i need a that when he get in the car he get in there
46:05like a tetris piece
46:06does that make sense
46:07a tetris piece no because y'all regular small niggas y'all just get in there and i
46:10i need to get like this in town
46:12well my name is t sanders thank y'all so much for having me
46:17i love y'all
46:18thank you
46:28hard fucking hit her it was strong material she's very funny she's very naturally funny here's an
46:33example of words with punch lines attached to who i am where i'm from what i'm doing here what i'm
46:41excited about tea blew it out the water oh it was just like they were just there yeah it was
46:48the
46:48best crowd you could do yeah it make you shake well i was shaking when i got off i was
46:53just like
46:54yeah there you're like okay this is good i'm eating go go go yeah when you get off you're like
47:00yeah i had tears i had tears too yeah
47:10camille and kevin judging my stand-up uh a nerve-wracking experience it like feels crazy
47:17like the the prize is insane like what a netflix special we killed that
47:22it's open to the beginning kudos amazing to everybody there's a crazy variety of talent
47:27and comedian and style i think caleb was great i think mason was great mason was really really
47:33really good but then uncle laser here i am mother slater and because of tiara i'm older i'm 40
47:39whereas cory was like look i'm a grandma now cory was also really good at reacting to the crowd
47:44yes you know that was a very strong show very strong so hard that's what makes it great let's go
47:50tell them who's coming to los angeles all right shuffling this board today came with a lot of
48:04debate you know that we said we're taking a handful of comedians and i've decided to take six that will
48:09represent our chicago portion of this competition my first choice today
48:16i'm terrified i'm really not sure and that's making me more nervous
48:22ron man you got that yeah
48:27i just love your confidence man i love your cadence on stage i love that there's an edginess to the
48:34guy
48:35that you would not expect to curse your material sean bright took all them days off work so i feel
48:41vindicated i'm glad they enjoyed the stuff i did mad if i didn't make it i'd just be at home
48:47pulling
48:47my thumbs like this when there's all this great ice cream i could have been scooping number two
48:55god damn grandma we got we got to go to the to the grandma you did a great job i
49:01loved it i i think
49:02it was unique i think your material was very true to who you are and i was with you every
49:06step of the way
49:07uh number three tea god damn man another another dose of like some raw fucking crazy energy uh and
49:16it's it's necessary it's needed the special thing about stand-up comedy
49:22number four
49:25if i gotta put you in there you were you were fucking amazing i was thoroughly impressed with with just
49:33how
49:33you dissected that five minute set thanks and it looked so comfortable thanks dude you made that
49:39performance down to the last couple uh daniel i found a heavy level of laughter in your material there's
49:50a dope ass quality to you an amazing pizzazz and there's an amazing pop that i felt like you had
49:56uh our
49:57last one everybody was really really good and this is why i don't like comedy competitions for this
50:02fucking moment i don't i don't look at this as a bad moment though i do i'm there's so many
50:07funny
50:07people that can't go ahead i am different and i am optimistic all the things that i felt i should
50:14have had i never got snl i should have had it i was right there why didn't they fucking give
50:19it to
50:19me if i would have got it i wouldn't have become the movie star that i am now so plain
50:24that
50:24should have broke the box office if it would have had that success then i probably wouldn't
50:28have got the movies that i got after i wouldn't have been able to go and cameo and make the
50:32relationships that ultimately got me in front of the best producers and the best writers in town
50:36it's a business of opportunity it's a business of being ready for the moment that you don't even
50:41know is coming you have no idea what your fucking moment is it's going to present itself when you
50:46least expect it and the question is is will you be ready for it i'm just going to rip the
50:51band-aid off and
50:52say who it is because i don't think that we need the drum roll
50:58we made the choice to say kayla we want to see you perform again we go to the next stage
51:04i can tell that you're a smart writer and i can tell there's a lot in that comedy bag so
51:14congrats to those that were chosen and to those that weren't my advice to you exchange numbers
51:19yeah that's the other side of this it's the community it's the support i started stand-up
51:24comedy here in chicago open mics i'm still friends with everybody i did comedy with i don't like to
51:29think of comedy as being a competition i like to think of it as being collaborative exchange numbers
51:34keep in contact thank you guys for being a part of the competition i appreciate you
51:43it was definitely an honor to share the stage with y'all i'm putting on for chicago and if you're
51:49coming from the la group or the new york group please be ready because chicago is definitely about
52:05to break it to make it out of the first round into callback i i'm grateful to be here in
52:13hollywood
52:14and perform at the comedy store comedy store is legendary there's so many people that would kill
52:19to be where i am and i don't take that lightly can we dab okay oh wow that's good that's
52:25good
52:25that's good are y'all nervous or what it's intense because now the competition's more fierce i know
52:29these people these are all great comments so it's so it's very you got to bring your game and you
52:34can't
52:35you can't just relax you can't just be like no i got this my god getting a call from kevin
52:43was surreal
52:44i feel amazing yeah yeah i've been here so now we're talking we're talking we're talking the fact
52:53that pap got a bubble spot i'm not gonna sleep on that do you know what i mean like they
52:58created a
52:59spot for him and i've seen what pap can do out here as a la comic so so glad i
53:04could catch the bus here
53:05this round could change everything because you're going against some great comedians caitlyn palufo she's
53:10hilarious she's filthy she's got it ron taylor one of the best comedians in the world please
53:16your folks crushed talking about chemo first time in this competition i've been very nervous hey guys
53:25set it ready for the show i don't know i don't know hit another stage gotta go gotta go
53:32turn another page on the chapter long ago handling this business like a pro like a pro
53:39stay up in it we gonna get it we drop in it represent it we jumped in it gotta keep
53:44it hot
53:44with the juice sauce in it never gonna stop that's who we with it never gonna stop we'll never quit
53:48it
53:48never gonna stop it's just the beginning never gonna stop you thought that it ended admit it
53:52we don't keep it moving yeah cause there ain't no other way only way to do it cheer do it
53:57every
53:58single day gotta keep the focus here that's the way we do it cheer you must have it backwards
54:05yeah you got it
54:11yeah you got it
54:22yeah
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