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Short filmTranscript
00:00:09Today's a big day. We've done these showcases. We did Chicago. We did New York. We did L.A. Tom
00:00:14was there in L.A.
00:00:16Tom Brady? Yeah. Tom Brady came here. Famous comedian Tom Brady. Famous comedy host Tom Brady. He's so crazy. He's
00:00:22really funny. He's hysterical. She really can do it. She just knows how to piss me off. He has to
00:00:26do that whole thing again. He has to walk in again.
00:00:29Let's just go from arm. At the showcases in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago, I found 18 of the
00:00:43funniest comics and invited them all to L.A. With a career-changing Netflix special on the line, only 10
00:00:49will move on. It's time for callbacks.
00:00:53And we're doing it right here at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles. This is the room where Richard Pryor
00:00:58found his best material, where David Letterman, Whoopi Goldberg, and Robin Williams became legends.
00:01:04And with me is a legend in her own right, my good friend, Chelsea Handler.
00:01:09Look at this, color-coordinated. Look at that.
00:01:11I'm not having anything. I just found it.
00:01:12Why are you talking like Lou Rawls?
00:01:14Chelsea has done pretty much everything that you can do in this business.
00:01:17Sold out arenas, written best-selling books, her late-night show kick-started the careers of so many, myself included.
00:01:24Mrs. Big, glad you're doing it.
00:01:26I'm excited to see some stand-up. I'm excited to watch people deliver their material in front of all of
00:01:31us.
00:01:31You're ready.
00:01:32Okay, I'm ready.
00:01:33Let's do at least that.
00:01:33All right, so we can go.
00:01:34Okay.
00:01:34Let's just go.
00:01:35Are you aware of who judges me here?
00:01:38Judges? No, I don't know who they are.
00:01:41Who are they?
00:01:42You can buy your tea.
00:01:43Oh!
00:01:44Okay.
00:01:45I mean, I'm not Jeremy.
00:01:46Fuck.
00:01:47Chelsea Handler.
00:01:48Fuck! Are you serious?
00:01:49I'm serious.
00:01:51Okay. I love Chelsea.
00:01:53Oh, my God. Are you serious?
00:01:56And I'm just going to talk about my pussy. Great.
00:02:01Hey, guys.
00:02:02Hello.
00:02:05Beautiful faces. Hi!
00:02:08That's right!
00:02:09Welcome back.
00:02:10So, Chelsea, it's a room full of fantastic, funny comedians.
00:02:15Beautiful crowd. Look at this.
00:02:16It's beautiful.
00:02:17Look at this. This is so beautiful.
00:02:18The energy in here is great.
00:02:19Colorful. I'm fucking down.
00:02:21Okay.
00:02:21I'm down.
00:02:22Down for what?
00:02:23You know what.
00:02:24Okay, stop. Stop.
00:02:25All right. That's enough.
00:02:27That's enough.
00:02:27All right.
00:02:28These are all the comedians that have made it to this stage.
00:02:3018 comics in total.
00:02:32Only 10 will go on to the next stage.
00:02:35This is a pep talk.
00:02:36We're here to support you.
00:02:37Yeah.
00:02:37We want you to succeed.
00:02:39If something doesn't go well, fucking recover.
00:02:41Okay.
00:02:42You know?
00:02:42Okay.
00:02:43Recovery is as important as the performance.
00:02:45It's exciting for me because I already know what you guys are capable of, right?
00:02:48So, at this point, I get to see what else you have in your bag.
00:02:51Who gets better or who gets worse?
00:02:53Well, no one's going to get worse.
00:02:54You don't know where I was going.
00:02:56No one gets worse as the competition goes on.
00:02:57I had a fucking amazing thing where I was going after that and you didn't put-
00:03:00Well, land the fucking plane there.
00:03:01Well, now I got to fly a new plane to make the goddamn point.
00:03:05Because you fucked that flight up, Chelsea.
00:03:06Well, luckily you have two planes.
00:03:07Okay.
00:03:08So, that shouldn't be a problem.
00:03:11My legends that were with me previously are here.
00:03:14Chelsea is not the only one.
00:03:15We got Keegan-Michael Key from New York and Kumail Nanjiani from Chicago.
00:03:20So, I'm getting a variety of opinions and eyeballs from faces that I respect, admire,
00:03:24and more importantly, that love this craft of comedy.
00:03:27Right now, you know what the task at hand is.
00:03:29Ultimately, we're picking what we would consider to be the comics of the future.
00:03:33That's a big deal.
00:03:35That's a big deal.
00:03:35So, take a moment, look at the list, see where you fall on the show, get your mind right,
00:03:40but then go out there and do what you do.
00:03:42Guys, good luck.
00:03:43Have a good time.
00:03:44Make sure you have fun.
00:03:44Okay?
00:03:45Yeah, have fun, you guys.
00:03:46Tell them both about the bracelet, that you're going to give away the bracelet for the second
00:03:49one.
00:03:51Let's go.
00:03:51All right, we're going to recruit you.
00:03:53I got it.
00:03:54Yell out who's first.
00:03:55Who first?
00:03:56Who first?
00:03:57Who first?
00:03:58Steve Fury, baby.
00:03:59Oh, yeah.
00:04:01I knew it.
00:04:03You got it.
00:04:03That's crazy.
00:04:05It's a big moment.
00:04:06Callbacks are a whole other animal.
00:04:08The stakes are much higher.
00:04:09I got it.
00:04:10They're in a legendary club in front of multiple judges, and it's a much bigger crowd.
00:04:15This is a pressure moment.
00:04:17Like, we'll see who stands up in the pressure and who doesn't.
00:04:20Thank you for this opportunity.
00:04:22These are people that could get a Netflix special and do well.
00:04:24What did you say?
00:04:25I just thank you for the opportunity to be here.
00:04:27What's going on?
00:04:29There's ladders.
00:04:30There's four ladders out there.
00:04:32You want to adapt?
00:04:34Okay.
00:04:35Oh, wow.
00:04:36I'm nervous, but my favorite thing about comedy is probably the camaraderie between all the
00:04:41comics.
00:04:42And I think that's, like, special about comics is, like, we know how hard it is to do this.
00:04:46You bond over just going through the trials and tribulations.
00:04:50It's us versus the audience.
00:04:52When you try and make people laugh, that means at some point you failed.
00:04:55And that is what unites us all.
00:04:58It keeps us all humble.
00:04:5930-second warning for Steve.
00:05:02I'm at the fucking city.
00:05:03I'm nervous.
00:05:04First time in this competition, I've been very nervous.
00:05:06I am damp to the touch.
00:05:07Some would say moist.
00:05:09Going first is hard.
00:05:10Okay, Steve, time to go to stage.
00:05:15In the first round, I was lucky enough to get selected right after my set.
00:05:18That doesn't really do much for this next round, because that one's done.
00:05:22Whatever happened then is in the past, and it means nothing.
00:05:25This next one, I'm going against better comics from all over the country, so I have to get
00:05:29my head in and forget whatever happened in the past and focus on what's happening next.
00:05:32I have a lot more to show everybody.
00:05:34The more I show, I think the more people will like me.
00:05:39Steve Fury!
00:05:45What up?
00:05:48Yes!
00:05:49My name is Steve Fury.
00:05:50Happy to be here.
00:05:51Me and my fiancée just moved.
00:05:53Fifth floor.
00:05:55Top floor.
00:05:56Just got ants.
00:05:57I don't know how they did it.
00:06:00Pretty impressive for an ant to go five human stories.
00:06:05I have trouble climbing those stairs.
00:06:07You tell me a fucking ant just did that?
00:06:10So I did the math.
00:06:11For an ant to climb five human stories would be the equivalent of a human climbing Mount
00:06:17Kilimanjaro.
00:06:18Could you imagine being at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro, looking up and being like, I think
00:06:25there's a cookie up there?
00:06:28It's like the whole town, everybody I've ever met in my life.
00:06:32Single file line!
00:06:35It's an ant joke.
00:06:36Some of you guys will get that later.
00:06:37Don't worry about it.
00:06:38I am happily getting engaged.
00:06:40Had to go ring shopping recently.
00:06:42And I don't know if you guys know this, but there's two types of diamonds now that are
00:06:45almost exactly the same.
00:06:46Okay?
00:06:46They have a mind and they have a lab-grown diamond.
00:06:49For all intents and purposes, it's the same fucking thing.
00:06:52Chemically, optically, tinsel strength, diamond checker, Mohs.
00:06:55I didn't know that.
00:06:56So when I go in there, Jewel goes, first off, I'm going to show you this right here.
00:06:58He goes, this is a lab-grown diamond.
00:07:00He goes, your fiancee does not want this.
00:07:05He goes, this is for poor people.
00:07:08Then he said it was almost $6,000.
00:07:11I was like, goddamn, I didn't know I was poorer than poor people.
00:07:14That's crazy.
00:07:16Do you have anything for a peasant or a serf?
00:07:21I'm happy.
00:07:22I'm happy I found the love of my life, man.
00:07:24I learned a lot when I was single.
00:07:25I want to share it with you guys.
00:07:26I learned a lot when I was single.
00:07:27I learned that you can tell how good a girl will be at sex by how dirty the inside of
00:07:34her car is.
00:07:36Like, if she's got a lot of old Starbucks cups and McDonald's wrappers, she's going to
00:07:41blow your fucking mind.
00:07:42That's what I learned.
00:07:43That's what my research tells me.
00:07:47That's clean as fuck.
00:07:48Said that joke six months ago in Florida, a woman stood up and goes, well, I ride the
00:07:53bus.
00:08:00Just asked her to marry me.
00:08:01Went ring shopping a couple of weeks ago.
00:08:02Can't wait to marry her.
00:08:04My name is Steve.
00:08:05Thank you very much.
00:08:10I think that guy's going to go through it.
00:08:12He's funny as fuck.
00:08:13He's incredible.
00:08:14Steve was really great.
00:08:15He's, like, making analogies and metaphors.
00:08:17The material was really good.
00:08:19Really good.
00:08:19Very polished.
00:08:20Also, the confidence matters.
00:08:22He was so comfortable.
00:08:24He was really comfortable.
00:08:27I'm confident in my shit.
00:08:28I just want to do this shit.
00:08:29You just got to take a deep breath.
00:08:31Tell yourself everything's okay.
00:08:32Me and Reg go way back.
00:08:33That's my guy.
00:08:35Reg's friendship means so much to me.
00:08:38Babies, I don't even need to do what you know, though.
00:08:40Just do this shit, all right?
00:08:40I love you.
00:08:41I was doing stand-up maybe two or three years, and she told me she wanted to do stand-up,
00:08:44and I helped her get into stand-up.
00:08:45And, like, nine years later, Eva a body bag.
00:08:48I'm so proud of her.
00:08:49Eva!
00:08:50Evan!
00:08:54I'm really hoping me and Reg move on.
00:08:56I know there could only be one winner, and I'm really hoping it's one of us.
00:08:59What's going on?
00:09:02It's a good-looking crowd.
00:09:04Okay, y'all disagree.
00:09:06Fuck it.
00:09:07Like, flattery doesn't work on us, bitch.
00:09:09Get to the jokes.
00:09:10Heard you.
00:09:11I'm, like, excited about aliens being here.
00:09:14I really am.
00:09:15I am.
00:09:16Yeah.
00:09:16I feel like Earth needs new men.
00:09:21Yeah, yeah.
00:09:22We need new options in this motherfucker.
00:09:24We need...
00:09:24Yeah, right?
00:09:25I would definitely fuck with an alien.
00:09:28I'm trying to see what these Mars niggas are talking about.
00:09:30You know what I mean?
00:09:32What these getting money Jupiter niggas are saying.
00:09:34You know what I mean?
00:09:36Real shit.
00:09:37I know it sounds crazy, but let him be 6'4 with no kids.
00:09:43If he's 6'4 with no kids, I'm sucking both of his dicks.
00:09:49Right?
00:09:49He's got to have at least two.
00:09:50Don't come over here with us Wednesday.
00:09:51We've been there, done that.
00:09:53If you're going to invade the planet, let me see some shit I ain't never seen before.
00:09:56You know what I mean?
00:09:57Real shit.
00:09:58So I met this guy.
00:09:59He was a trans man.
00:10:00He didn't put that on his page that I didn't know, but when I showed up to the restaurant,
00:10:03he disclosed that to me.
00:10:04And I appreciated him letting me know, right?
00:10:07I could tell he was nervous and, you know, scared that I was going to react a certain way.
00:10:11And I told him, I said, you got to relax, okay?
00:10:12I am too poor to have a phobia.
00:10:18I said, as long as you identify as a man who's paying this check...
00:10:29At the end of this meal.
00:10:30Because, bitch, I showed up ashy and hungry.
00:10:32I was...
00:10:35The date went very well.
00:10:36The conversation was good.
00:10:38The date went south when his card declined, when the bill came.
00:10:42Yeah, his card declined.
00:10:44And I was concerned.
00:10:47And he said, don't worry.
00:10:49One of my six roommates is going to send me some money.
00:10:52I said, nigga, where you live at, jail?
00:10:56Why you got so many roommates?
00:10:59So long story short, he pays the bill and he asks me out again.
00:11:01He said, Eva, I had a great time.
00:11:03Can I take you out again?
00:11:04I said, nah, I'm good.
00:11:07And he got offended.
00:11:08He was like, I thought we had a great time.
00:11:09Don't tell me you're transphobic.
00:11:12I said, no, baby, I don't date the poor.
00:11:17I'm poor.
00:11:17What the fuck are we going to do together?
00:11:18Wish upon a star, nigga?
00:11:19I need...
00:11:21I need help.
00:11:24I said, why didn't you plan better?
00:11:26Why didn't you transition into a rich man?
00:11:33Right?
00:11:35So your trans actions can go through.
00:11:41Yeah.
00:11:44My name is Eva.
00:11:45Y'all have a good night.
00:11:48I like her energy a lot.
00:11:50I like her.
00:11:51Confident, stand and deliver.
00:11:53Yeah.
00:11:53Not high energy, not pushing it, making you come to her.
00:11:57When you just hear the whole trans bit and the check, it makes you go think which came first.
00:12:01Like the actual, you know what I mean?
00:12:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:03Like which joke set up that whole story.
00:12:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:05Action first and then all of it.
00:12:07And then she backed into the rest of the stuff.
00:12:09Yeah.
00:12:09I forgot a tag on my trans bit, my nigga.
00:12:13Hey, you still went crazy.
00:12:14I'm sick.
00:12:15You still did very well.
00:12:16I'm so sick.
00:12:16I'm so sick.
00:12:17You did very well.
00:12:18I am terrified right now.
00:12:19Where the fuck I go?
00:12:20Where's the exit?
00:12:21I can just leave?
00:12:25I am so tight.
00:12:28I forgot a tag in my last, my closing bit and I'm just very disappointed in myself.
00:12:37There's good, better and best.
00:12:39Tags help you elevate the joke.
00:12:42Just one little detail, but to me it's like, it's a big deal.
00:12:45Because I worked, I worked very hard to be here, I just hope that I still make it through.
00:12:56I'm not going off for a good hour and some change.
00:12:59What's five times 12?
00:13:00Because that's about as long as it's going to take.
00:13:02That was good math.
00:13:04I was supposed to, I was supposed to be a mathematician.
00:13:06You were supposed to be a mathematician?
00:13:08I was in multivariable calculus.
00:13:09Wow.
00:13:10Those are some words.
00:13:12Hey, hey.
00:13:12I know they mean something.
00:13:14I think the biggest difference between the audition round and this call back round
00:13:19is that it's the cream of the crop.
00:13:21Daniel, time to go to stage.
00:13:23Daniel!
00:13:25I want to, I feel like as agents, managers, I don't have any representation.
00:13:29So moving in, it's like, okay, I'm excited to prove myself to say, no, I belong.
00:13:34Show some love with Daniel.
00:13:36Delano!
00:13:38How we doing?
00:13:39We good?
00:13:40Okay.
00:13:41I'm trying to learn how to date.
00:13:42Biggest thing I learned with dating, I learned I can't hit on alcoholic women anymore.
00:13:47I can't do it.
00:13:48Nah.
00:13:49Y'all laughing.
00:13:49I had one girl, she almost drank me into poverty.
00:13:54No, for real.
00:13:55We were at the bar and she was like, hey Dan, another round.
00:13:57I was like, bitch, I work at Target.
00:14:01I make $15 an hour.
00:14:04Whole date, I was on my phone.
00:14:06She's like, what are you texting other women?
00:14:07I'm like, no, I'm texting Bank of America right now.
00:14:11I'm like, y'all don't see any suspicious activity?
00:14:18Y'all just gonna let me do this shit?
00:14:23Cause when you make hourly, you view money you spend in terms of hours of your life.
00:14:29So every drink she ordered, I was like, fuck, I'm gonna have to work Saturday.
00:14:37Cause this thing, I'm a lightweight.
00:14:39So I'm sipping on my one drink and she's got three drinks stacked up.
00:14:43So women are looking at me like, oh he's trying to take advantage of her.
00:14:45I'm like, no, she's taking advantage of me.
00:14:49This bitch drank my whole shift.
00:14:52I'm sipping on my overtime right now.
00:14:57Alright.
00:14:58I like this crowd, y'all.
00:15:00Nah, I like this crowd. Y'all an honest crowd.
00:15:02Y'all an honest crowd.
00:15:03Y'all laugh at what you wanna laugh at.
00:15:04And what you don't, y'all let it be known, y'all.
00:15:08This is the type of crowd that makes comedians drive home with no music, y'all.
00:15:16You be driving back like, you know what, Target ain't that bad.
00:15:18It ain't.
00:15:20$15 an hour?
00:15:22I can make it work.
00:15:24Hey, y'all have an amazing audience.
00:15:25My name's Dan Delano.
00:15:26I appreciate you, y'all.
00:15:29He was really, really strong.
00:15:30He's very good at rolling with it and then going back into the material.
00:15:34Yes.
00:15:34That was a very strong set.
00:15:35How do you feel about comics that laugh at their own jokes?
00:15:38You think it's cheating?
00:15:38No, I don't think it's cheating.
00:15:39I think it's off-putting.
00:15:41Like, it's not...
00:15:42Why are you laughing at your own jokes?
00:15:43You know what you're gonna say.
00:15:44You've heard this.
00:15:45You know what you're gonna say.
00:15:45Yeah, it's not sincere.
00:15:46We're seeing a calculated forced break.
00:15:50I think it's inspiring to see comics do well.
00:15:54Here's a good example.
00:15:56Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, and myself, right?
00:15:58Me and Chris were saying, like, we're working on the material.
00:16:00So I was like, Chris, let's go to the city.
00:16:02I go up.
00:16:03Chris goes up.
00:16:04We're fucking excited.
00:16:05We're in the back sharing notes.
00:16:07Dave comes into the cellar.
00:16:08Dave does a spot.
00:16:10Without any hesitation, me and Chris looked at each other.
00:16:12We both took our piece of paper.
00:16:14And ripped it.
00:16:15And we fucking said, this is not what we thought it was.
00:16:20This is not gonna cut it.
00:16:20If this is what's happening out here, we are not in a good place.
00:16:24And we both nodded and we said, I'll see you tomorrow.
00:16:28We'll go back to the drawing board.
00:16:29And I feel like that's the energy that you're supposed to get from watching a good comedian.
00:16:33I'm so excited.
00:16:34Everybody out here, I'm a christian.
00:16:36I'm a christian.
00:16:37My name is Andrea Jinn, I'm an immigrant.
00:16:40I immigrated here when I was 10 years old.
00:16:43And there was a lot of pressure at that time for me to like Mulan.
00:16:47You know?
00:16:48My secret favorite princess was actually Sleeping Beauty.
00:16:53Because she was asleep for that whole movie.
00:16:55And then when she woke up she had a castle and money,
00:16:59Like, that's magical, you know?
00:17:01Mulan had to cut her hair off with a sword
00:17:03and then fight a war.
00:17:05Ew, that's not...
00:17:07That's not what I immigrated here for, you know?
00:17:11I wanted to just hang back, relax American values, right?
00:17:15I love doing that.
00:17:17She was a little bit nervous. She stumbled a couple times.
00:17:19I think her stumbling was material adjacent.
00:17:21I love dogs.
00:17:23Some say I love them a little too much.
00:17:26Because I touch them whenever I want.
00:17:28I do. Strange dogs.
00:17:30I just keep treats in my pocket.
00:17:31I don't know if I'm gonna get lucky, you know?
00:17:34But I touched a Shih Tzu.
00:17:36And he looked at me like I did something wrong.
00:17:39Maybe you shouldn't be so soft.
00:17:42Ever thought of that?
00:17:44Maybe you should cover up, put on a little sweater or something
00:17:46if that's not what you're interested in.
00:17:48And let's be honest, you walked right through my hand.
00:17:52I don't know who's gonna believe you without underbite anyway,
00:17:55you know what I mean?
00:17:56I love when it's so out to left field.
00:17:59You know what I mean?
00:18:01One thing I don't like about church that churches do,
00:18:02I don't like mission trips though.
00:18:03Y'all know what a mission trip is?
00:18:05The kids, what they do is they go door to door and they say,
00:18:07Hey, will you please either pray for me or give me some money for a vacation?
00:18:11And they go like Honduras, Costa Rica.
00:18:14And I'm not 100% sure where Honduras is.
00:18:18But I know that it is like Mexican-y.
00:18:22Wait, oh my God.
00:18:24Wait, cut that, cut that.
00:18:26I forgot I was in LA.
00:18:27Okay, listen.
00:18:30Could you imagine a dude Honduras was praying?
00:18:32Like Father God, Lord, please send us some help with this youth center, Lord.
00:18:36We need help building it, Jesus.
00:18:37If you could please send us 12 10th graders.
00:18:41Yes.
00:18:43Kayla was very funny.
00:18:44I thought he was great.
00:18:45But like, I don't know if he moves the mountain.
00:18:47I really like Kayla.
00:18:49I think you might like them more than you guys.
00:18:52Where am I going? Makeup?
00:18:53Kayla, you're gonna sit right here.
00:18:54Okay.
00:18:54I am a huge fan of Chelsea.
00:18:56Yeah.
00:18:57I've loved her since high school.
00:18:59And she made me want to do comedy.
00:19:01So if she doesn't like my jokes, I will walk into the river.
00:19:04That's crazy.
00:19:04Yeah, I feel the same way about...
00:19:05Just find the river and just become a floater.
00:19:07Yeah, I feel that way about the male.
00:19:14I'm sorry I keep jerking you around.
00:19:17I'm sorry.
00:19:19All right.
00:19:20Here we go.
00:19:22Kayla Palufo!
00:19:29Oh, my goodness!
00:19:32Hello, Los Angeles.
00:19:34How we doing, huh?
00:19:36My name's Caitlin Palufo.
00:19:38I'm excited to be here.
00:19:39I'm newly single, all right?
00:19:42Only the women woo.
00:19:43I...
00:19:44I'm single now and I've discovered I'm a bad lay.
00:19:47All right?
00:19:47I'm in my 30s.
00:19:48I have bad knees and a bad attitude.
00:19:50Okay?
00:19:51I just get so distracted.
00:19:53I do.
00:19:53I can't even have sex with a guy who's wearing a necklace.
00:19:56Ladies, make them take off their jewelry.
00:19:58You deserve better than that.
00:20:00Okay?
00:20:00Yeah.
00:20:00You don't deserve to be chin-fucked by St. Christopher.
00:20:08Every single thrust.
00:20:11Yeah.
00:20:12You're just getting teabagged by God, all right?
00:20:16Instead of being like, I've got to cum.
00:20:18It's like, I'm going to chip a tooth, I think.
00:20:22You also have to be careful for your hands.
00:20:24You've got to make sure the hands are at the hips.
00:20:25Never put them over the shoulders.
00:20:27Don't do that.
00:20:27Okay?
00:20:28Because, ladies, as soon as you put your hands over his shoulders,
00:20:31he's going to try and pick you up.
00:20:33And you don't need that kind of confidence killer.
00:20:36Men, I don't care how strong you are, whenever you pick us up,
00:20:39we have to watch your face change.
00:20:44It's hilarious.
00:20:45And it never changes to, wow, she's lighter than I thought she'd be.
00:20:51It always changes to, Jesus fucking Christ!
00:20:55Did you eat an anvil?
00:20:58Keep them at the hips.
00:21:01Yeah, I'm sad to say I am a tough cummer, okay?
00:21:04I'm a tough cummer.
00:21:05I wish I were an easy cum.
00:21:07I'm not.
00:21:07I need a vibrator in the bedroom.
00:21:09That's what I like.
00:21:09Who's using a vibrator?
00:21:10Ladies!
00:21:11Over here, you and me, we got the toughest clits in L.A., huh?
00:21:16I got a tough-ass clitoris, all right?
00:21:18Yeah, she's kind of like a grizzled detective.
00:21:22She's been on the force for 20 years.
00:21:25She's chain-smoking Marlboro cigarettes.
00:21:28Yeah, I call her Dick Wolf, okay?
00:21:31And a vibrator's great.
00:21:32A vibrator's great.
00:21:33It's just not something you can whip out the first time with a new guy.
00:21:36It can be a little intimidating for him.
00:21:38Yeah, you're basically opening a drawer, looking at a man saying,
00:21:41you will never be enough.
00:21:44And younger guys hate a vibrator.
00:21:47Under 25, they got an ego about it.
00:21:48They're like, we're not gonna need a vibrator, babe.
00:21:50I know the whole alphabet.
00:21:55Because they don't know how to finger, they just do whatever they see in porn.
00:21:58They're like, ah-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
00:22:00Ha-ha-ha!
00:22:04Yeah, have you ever had your pussy blown on?
00:22:06It is humiliating.
00:22:09It's like, this isn't green tea.
00:22:11What the fuck are you doing?
00:22:13Is there dust in my keyboard?
00:22:16Knock it off!
00:22:17Get the vibrator!
00:22:19Get it in here!
00:22:21We got 10 minutes until Survivor's on!
00:22:25All right, that's it for me.
00:22:26I'm Caleb Alufo.
00:22:27Thank you!
00:22:28Thank you so much!
00:22:30Thank you!
00:22:31Thank you!
00:22:32Thank you!
00:22:34She's true!
00:22:34Yeah, absolutely.
00:22:35That was the A plus.
00:22:36That was the A plus.
00:22:37I have to be.
00:22:38Call her back out.
00:22:39Call her back out, production.
00:22:40No, no, don't do that.
00:22:40Go pee!
00:22:42Yeah.
00:22:43Fuck, again?
00:22:44It's the fifth pee, Chelsea.
00:22:45Maybe it's time to put the bottle down.
00:22:47Hurry up.
00:22:49Fuck!
00:22:58What the fuck?
00:23:00Are they gonna tell her?
00:23:02Yes.
00:23:05I loved you in New York.
00:23:07The material in New York was unbelievable.
00:23:09And for you to be able to come back and keep the same energy,
00:23:13but fucking increase the volume is unbelievable.
00:23:16And we can only take a few to the next stage.
00:23:18But I don't feel like you deserve the weight after that set.
00:23:21You're going tonight.
00:23:22Oh, my God!
00:23:24Oh, my God!
00:23:29I got emotional there.
00:23:31I got emotional.
00:23:34I'm really proud of what I did.
00:23:36I'm really proud.
00:23:37I'm so proud of you.
00:23:39I mean, I'm grateful.
00:23:40And I think I represented myself well.
00:23:43I think I only embarrassed my family a little bit.
00:23:50You're a wild card, man.
00:23:52Kevin picked you last.
00:23:53You got any extra pressure?
00:23:54Uh, I do not feel like I need to impress Kevin anymore tonight.
00:23:58I feel like he was very impressed.
00:24:00He just wanted me to close the set a little bit more efficiently.
00:24:04And, uh, I think I'm going to do that tonight.
00:24:07I'm going to take the feedback from Kevin.
00:24:08But I'm going to still remain true to myself.
00:24:11I feel confident.
00:24:12Mwah.
00:24:13H Close.
00:24:14Jumbo!
00:24:16Jumbo!
00:24:17Jumbo!
00:24:18Jumbo!
00:24:21Hello, white people.
00:24:24I'm happy to be here.
00:24:25I was recently in Rome, Italy.
00:24:28Not Georgia.
00:24:29Yeah.
00:24:30I really enjoyed Rome, you know.
00:24:33But the biggest lesson I learned going to Rome
00:24:35was that, uh, anytime you go to a flight...
00:24:37you should take a shit at home.
00:24:42i'm in the bathroom i'm thinking i'm going through it right until this dude comes in
00:24:46fucking hitting all the stalls and walls and shit and next thing i hear is no
00:24:55god no next thing i saw was a hand come up under the saw
00:25:00i was like hey man hey man what you need what you need he's like huh
00:25:07my stall's out of toilet paper can you can you give me some toilet paper and i won't give him
00:25:12no toilet paper but i also didn't want this nigga to touch my leg again and that's how i met
00:25:18my best
00:25:18friend i turned 40 so i got a bucket list i only got one thing on my bucket list right
00:25:27now and that's
00:25:27uh to meet a native american real estate agent
00:25:39well if you liked me if you loved me i'm gonna be signing titties by the bar
00:25:45i've been pap johnson enjoy the rest of your night
00:25:51kev where are you from new york l.a first l.a so he was actually my ultimate like he
00:25:58he had a set
00:25:59and i felt like i was like i don't think you gave the best version of yourself but i can
00:26:04tell
00:26:04that there's a comedy cadence there he did that he did it again he did it again yeah i just
00:26:10feel
00:26:10like he wasn't prepared it was probably the most disappointing set of the night i actually feel
00:26:15like ass i'm not happy with my set i've been better i've been a thousand times better than
00:26:21what i showed tonight this wasn't my best and i just got to live with that it's so much pressure
00:26:27and you got kevin hart up there you know watching you like kamele you like shit i know
00:26:34ain't no reason for you to beat yourself up you ain't do nothing up there that you need to be
00:26:36like
00:26:37what the fuck forgive yourself and realize that you still a dope-ass comedian i have a hard time
00:26:41sometimes like pouring love into myself and i feel like that's one of these times right now i'm just
00:26:44trying to pour love into myself that's okay
00:26:48i love you so much
00:26:51it's all right babes
00:26:5230 second warning for winston
00:26:58going into this one i'm way less nervous than i was because the last one kevin and pegan seem to
00:27:04really enjoy the perspective that i brought and so you know i just feel a lot more looser and more
00:27:08comfortable so we'll see i'm like excited to just really surprise them uh especially uh kumail and
00:27:15chelsea who definitely haven't seen me before
00:27:20hopefully kevin and keegan i give them more of what they enjoyed so much and helped me get through to
00:27:25the next round i i'm originally from a small town called cartersville virginia it's population less
00:27:32than 500 people uh i recently moved to washington dc and i found this out when i moved to dc
00:27:38dc has
00:27:39been ranked the third gayest city in america we got third gayest that's right they gave us the bronze
00:27:44medal of gay that's what they focused on they said enjoy your third place of being gay and that
00:27:48was alarming to me for two reasons one i am straight and two uh i am competitive as hell so
00:27:57uh when i moved to washington dc and they were like we were in third place i was like how
00:28:03many
00:28:04dicks to first brother what's the number what do we got to do i'm trying to bring a championship
00:28:09back to the city you lost your mind you kidding me i come from the type of small town where
00:28:15i had
00:28:15friends and family back home that were like winston aren't you worried that if you move to dc and you
00:28:21surround yourself with all that gay nonsense that you're gonna end up burning in hell and i was like
00:28:29i'll tell you right now i'm willing to burn in hell ain't gonna be for third place i'll tell you
00:28:34that
00:28:34much right now ain't gonna happen brother hell no i'll be in i'll be in hell but there'll be a
00:28:40gold medal around my neck i tell you i used to i used to teach at a school for autism
00:28:48that was my
00:28:48full-time gig uh before i started doing comedy you know what i mean that was my full-time job
00:28:52i did
00:28:53that before stand-up uh and let me tell you right now if you ever meet someone that does that
00:28:57don't
00:28:57do what a lot of people do don't come up and tell me that you think vaccines cause autism i
00:29:02don't need
00:29:02to hear that every day i'd have a complete stranger come up and be like you do know
00:29:08the only reason you have that goddamn job is because of them vaccines you know that
00:29:15and every day i had to be like vaccines do not cause autism i'm pretty sure anime does though you
00:29:26know
00:29:26i mean i'm pretty sure it's a one-to-one if you like anime welcome to the spectrum baby i
00:29:32don't
00:29:32make the rules that's true man i've been with the audience you guys have a great night bro
00:29:39that's og original it's exactly what we said in new york we're like holy fuck there's no one like him
00:29:45nobody liked him
00:29:48if you ever seen the set in new york he came out his take his bait his reverse it was
00:29:54really good
00:29:55seeing that and then seeing him somehow piggyback off of that with more
00:30:02more weird like only him shit
00:30:08i'm a born and raised la comedian so i do feel a lot of pressure to represent la really well
00:30:13and
00:30:13represent black women in comedy really well i take on that responsibility the competition is
00:30:18really steep and i recognize that now and i want to go and give it all i got you know
00:30:22oh i can't wait
00:30:31my name is felicia folks
00:30:35yes i'm excited to be here tonight a little bit about me i got three white friends yes i count
00:30:39them
00:30:39they count me i think fair is fair i don't know it's hard dealing with my white friends right now
00:30:45because um they're all woke you know what i mean there's a lot of new woke white people in my
00:30:49life
00:30:50i've had a problem with that you know what i mean because my friends are so woke and white
00:30:55they almost getting racist again you know
00:30:59they're starting to fuck with me
00:31:01like i'll give you an example i was outside at night taking pictures with my friend she won't use
00:31:06the flash i said kristen hey babe are you gonna turn the flash on
00:31:10i feel like you can't really see me that well in these pictures i swear to god this was her
00:31:14reaction
00:31:14she was like i didn't want to be the one to point out we can't really see you that well
00:31:17at night
00:31:25i said bitch what this is more racist just to take these pictures and post them tomorrow like
00:31:30i didn't go to vegas with you bitches
00:31:33you know it's more racist that when kristen tags me in the pictures the next day she tags me in
00:31:38the
00:31:38night sky i'm not up there
00:31:42you stupid bitch
00:31:46i do have a confession too i got a man um my boyfriend he he is white he's skinny my
00:31:51boyfriend's
00:31:51uh real skinny i'm like a nice skinny man i don't care what color they are i've always like a
00:31:54nice
00:31:55sliver of a man you know what i'm saying i want no big motherfucker fee-fi-fo-fum around my
00:32:00goddamn house
00:32:04keep it down like a nice end piece you get what i'm saying like a
00:32:12but my best friend she hates my man she really does she doesn't like that he's skinny we're both
00:32:17big girls and she's always like felicia you need to date bigger guys you need to date bigger guys
00:32:21we're both big girls and i asked her the other day i was like what kind of man do you
00:32:23want me to
00:32:24be with and i saw the guy she goes i want you to be with like a seven foot guy
00:32:26with like an eight
00:32:27pack i was like yeah i've never seen an eight pack she was like oh my god you've never seen
00:32:31one you
00:32:31don't know what you're missing when a guy has an eight pack his abs are like pow pow pow pow
00:32:35pow pow pow pow
00:32:41i was like eight pounds she was like eight pounds i was like bitch that's nothing when my man takes
00:32:46the shirt off 24 ribs pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow
00:32:54pow pow pow it's no competition
00:32:55that's all i'm saying bye guys thank you so much love you thank you
00:33:09I love watching watch her for an hour she destroyed the first time she was great
00:33:15thank you joke is so she's so like oh my god soon as she walks out whatever that is she's
00:33:26got that
00:33:27thing that makes you want to listen to it I understand the hating now I understand I understand
00:33:31you got Steve you got Caitlin you got Felicia Winston no one's seen that before Winston is
00:33:39your my number one okay all throughout you know my 20s I lived in my van from 2015 to 2023
00:33:52chef
00:33:53salad in the van I'm the chef this the van and because of that I was able to drive to
00:33:58Atlanta
00:33:59or you know go do a show for like a hundred dollars even though it costs two hundred dollars to
00:34:05get there
00:34:06and if I'm gonna be completely honest with you at this point I'm in too deep what I'm gonna do
00:34:10go
00:34:10learn something else I just won't tell jokes it's important for me to represent myself my entire
00:34:18strategy throughout this entire thing is simply to do the best that I can do drinking is a weird
00:34:24drug and it is a drug don't let nobody tell you nothing different drink drinking is a drug drinking
00:34:29right is a drug that will open up doors for you that otherwise would have never been open
00:34:38little rob you of everything you need to take advantage of that open door case in point recently I just
00:34:47had
00:34:47my first threesome attempt my first threesome first threesome attempt this is thinking about threesome if
00:35:02you ain't ready for it it ain't gonna go the way you think it's gonna go they just sprung it
00:35:08on me
00:35:08surprisingly whoa wait a minute let me do some push-ups or something first now I've been drinking
00:35:15whiskey all night I couldn't feel my face let alone my dick it was bad I had that whiskey dick
00:35:24and it's
00:35:25fucked up you know cuz your your mind won't it but your body has betrayed you just trying to power
00:35:32through it using this limp noodley shit just it was like trying to put a gummy worm through a cheerio
00:35:40just
00:35:42you think your dick gonna come alive when it get inside it's not you drunk bitch
00:35:50your dick dead drink some Gatorade take a nap try in the morning
00:35:59but I couldn't do that I started thinking I said my dick don't work but ain't nothing wrong with my
00:36:05tongue
00:36:07you know nasty nasty and I got to work that night I you know how nasty you got to get
00:36:16to overcompensate
00:36:16for this lack of dick you throwing I started licking everything everything you non-sexy shit what's that
00:36:24an elbow and a kneecap bring it here I'm sucking that instead of eyeballing the nostril bring it here
00:36:30damn it shut the fuck up you wasn't there after a while I got tired they wove me out boy
00:36:39my jaw was
00:36:41locked up like a pit bull it's talking all funny I sounded like Sammy Davis Jr. I'm fucked up man
00:36:52ladies and gentlemen that's my time
00:36:58he just started off with a with a joke of story he took his time getting there and was okay
00:37:02with not
00:37:03coming out with a joke and hitting it I respect that I like his look he's nervous he didn't look
00:37:08it
00:37:08I like his look and I like the fact that with his look there's an edginess to him that you
00:37:14don't expect
00:37:16and also you can relate to having whiskey dick you know and not
00:37:37I feel a little nervous but since round one I've been instantly on the road I've been running
00:37:43the set a little bit um it's been getting a mixtures but Hans working a joke and and taking
00:37:48it from a joke that you think has legs to a joke that's actually very good is very difficult you
00:37:54have to write every day you have to perform every day you have to edit your jokes constantly
00:38:00I'm Ray Lau how are ya oh shit Asian girl up front what's good hey we made it we made
00:38:09it
00:38:10so I grew up um actually grew up uh recently and I'm um I just finished okay and now you
00:38:19can see
00:38:19I'm growing a little something here I'm a big man now okay I gotta be honest though this mustache is
00:38:25the most controversial thing of my career okay I posted a selfie somebody mean he commented he goes
00:38:30you used to look like a cool Chinese skater and now you look like a Korean pedophile
00:38:38I said that's messed up but also why did the race change
00:38:47also I'm Japanese so what the fuck are you what is that what is that I'm not but he got
00:38:53scared he got
00:38:54scared I'm a young man now now there are certain young man rules okay I was in New York recently
00:38:59on
00:38:59the train in New York there's rules which is that young people we're supposed to give up our seat
00:39:03for old people right we know this there I was in the train and then this sort of old-ish
00:39:11lady walk into the train old-ish okay 60 max she come into the train and she starts staring at
00:39:17me
00:39:17like I'm like bro you are not old enough 60 I'm like nice try young lady okay you got your
00:39:26whole life
00:39:26ahead of you all right you got a couple gray hairs I'm stressed out too bitch like you you better
00:39:32hang
00:39:32on to that railing okay it's a long ride okay 60 you're not even old enough to be president yet
00:39:40okay
00:39:41what the hell are you talking about what do you mean also I was looking at her I'm like she
00:39:48look good
00:39:50I was looking I'm like I would and I realized right there that's the line is if someone come
00:39:56into the train and you would you don't have to get up for them am I wrong though am I
00:40:03wrong though
00:40:04I'm like I don't have a seat for you but you can sit right here okay I'm really like guys
00:40:08thank you
00:40:08so much really good energy too he he would like step on the last to get a bigger one again
00:40:18he was
00:40:19like really funny but instead did this yeah it said just kept doing this he wasn't nervous it was not
00:40:24seasoned right yeah I feel great feels so good I'm buzzing I'm buzzing my mom it's my mom she speaks
00:40:34it's Chinese so I'll try to translate for you oh she hung up are you worried about the alcohol
00:40:42consumption of the audience and how that will affect them watching your set nope I need that
00:40:46you need them drunk I think the drunker they are the funnier I feel like I'm with it it's good
00:40:52a
00:40:52little sauce is good a little sauce is good a little sauce 30 second warning for usama
00:41:03feeling a little pressure Caitlin got the best you know got the the you know got the what I got
00:41:10last time uh so she's the one to be for sure you know you want to be as good every
00:41:15time uh confident
00:41:17that the set is as good it goes a little deeper I already know Kevin and Keegan are on my
00:41:21side from
00:41:21the show so I'm excited going in I think they're expecting and I want to rise to the challenge I'm
00:41:26Osama Siddiqui how y'all feeling it's a good show a lot of white guy jokes today y'all okay
00:41:32I'm sorry
00:41:34dude I don't know man I wish I had a white mom sometimes I don't know easier chores right right
00:41:41white mom chores are like Hunter take out the trash right and Hunter's like mom you're a bitch
00:41:49white mom chores are cute immigrant mom chores are like hey go fix my business
00:41:55go
00:41:58that's level one chore at the house growing up I'd be like playing video game my mom's like
00:42:03hey get up and get me a passport go
00:42:10uh sorry guys I can't come play outside I have to go take on the U.S. government okay
00:42:18my mom her new thing is trying to get me married have y'all's moms ever trying to set you
00:42:22up with
00:42:22somebody before you know the issue they always choose someone based on what they want right
00:42:26never based on what you want it's never like Osama you have to meet Lucy she bangs on the first
00:42:31date
00:42:34meet Sarah her ass is juicy oh oh I hope you find work in sanitation because she has a dump
00:42:42truck my guy
00:42:45mom moms have no idea where the hoes at can we nary a hoe they know
00:42:52y'all are a great crowd y'all are a very good crowd last show I did was not good
00:42:56it was all British
00:42:57people in the row I mean they're great but it's like you know why is it so hard when you
00:43:01meet a
00:43:01British guy not to mimic his accent to his face every time right they're like hello we're like don't do
00:43:06it
00:43:08do not do not do not do not do not allow
00:43:19and it's never the high class accent right it's always a lantern British guy right
00:43:25I'll take you to cross the river
00:43:29every American British accent is the Lord of the Rings innkeeper right
00:43:37is that offensive a little bit a little bit because when he says hi to me and I go hello
00:43:44that's like if I said hi to him and he was like ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding
00:43:52right but I'm allowed to do it because they pillaged us for 200 years right
00:43:57so I get the fucking accent as you get older you realize that every race got hateable things
00:44:08listen listen Puerto Ricans Mexicans beautiful people not one has ever played the quiet game
00:44:14East Asians very smart but they drive their kids too hard right black people are perfect
00:44:22nothing to say there just how about one of these big fan y'all been great thank y'all so
00:44:29much seriously
00:44:38we crushed in New York and it comes and does the same thing
00:44:56today you blew me away and you should be celebrating this moment
00:44:59you don't feel much better thank you thank you
00:45:05you got a standard ovation in New York too that's his start
00:45:09that he was awesome but since he's so cute how cute is he that with his little dimples
00:45:14I mean I'm not trying to fucking fuck the guy in competition
00:45:18man he earned that
00:45:21oh yeah yeah he's a pro
00:45:23there's two so there's eight left
00:45:24and there were eight
00:45:28after 14 years doing comedy because comedy man it's it's intense it's not just amazing shows
00:45:33like this a lot of it is just grueling grueling shit
00:45:38congratulations on winning this thing bro
00:45:41I'm so proud of you
00:45:42the vindication of doing this work it seems like the path was worth it
00:45:46I was like Caitlin got it I better
00:45:49wait did they tell you that
00:45:51he said you're better than Caitlin
00:45:59I just think in order to talk on stage for an hour straight with a microphone no one else is
00:46:05allowed to speak you have to understand the pulse of what's happening because you're creating the
00:46:10vibe so when I walk out on stage I'm like this is my vibe and you're coming with me as
00:46:15you become
00:46:15more experienced do you understand how to manipulate that energy so that people are coming with you and
00:46:20also when you're having a good time everyone's having a good time
00:46:24it's always infectious
00:46:25you come into a room and you're in a good mood everyone's happy
00:46:28and you can also tell myself it's pretending to have a good time on stage
00:46:30my name is T I'm a horrible lesbian
00:46:33okay
00:46:34let's get that out right now I hate being a lesbian this shit hard
00:46:38I don't know what you fellas do to him by the time they come to me these bitches are ruined
00:46:43what the fuck are y'all doing to him
00:46:46you know what I gotta do to fuck your bitch
00:46:49I gotta give the bitch a pep talk
00:46:52I gotta look dead at her pussy I say you as kind
00:46:56you as smart
00:46:59and you as important
00:47:06I'm a hater
00:47:10yeah I truly love hating it's one of my favorite things to do
00:47:14I don't just talk about it I actually take action
00:47:17anytime I book a long distance flight
00:47:20I make sure to pick a middle seat
00:47:24that way I have the opportunity to separate
00:47:26a loving couple
00:47:29I laughed
00:47:30it was like intellectual laugh
00:47:32really really good
00:47:33I'm looking for anybody in their fucking 40s and fucking 50s
00:47:37where y'all at
00:47:39oh look at all of the young babies
00:47:41I'm not talking to you motherfuckers right now
00:47:43you gotta understand
00:47:45when you look in the crowd of young people
00:47:48you can't stare at them for too long
00:47:49they spicy
00:47:50if you stare at a young bitch for too long
00:47:52she ready to fight
00:47:53what she don't realize is if you over 40
00:47:56if I'm staring at you like this
00:47:58bitch I'm trying to figure out if I know you
00:48:00kill
00:48:00bitch is that you
00:48:03still really good material
00:48:04not quite as good as Chicago
00:48:06whoever we're choosing from this
00:48:09we're saying funny as fuck
00:48:10I'm leaning toward people
00:48:12who are fucking destroying us
00:48:18your socks kill shit
00:48:20come on
00:48:23I'm originally from Stilwell Kansas
00:48:25I went to Kansas State University
00:48:2899% acceptance rate
00:48:30studied theater
00:48:31the only department
00:48:33that gave me like a scholarship
00:48:35so I don't know
00:48:36I just maybe the theater brain in me
00:48:38like a five minute set
00:48:39I view it as more of a like a performance piece
00:48:47I love the art of it
00:48:49I'm not trying to like be famous
00:48:51like I really just want to do comedy
00:48:53and I hope people fuck with that
00:48:55I don't know if I can say fuck
00:48:57I hope they fuck with that
00:48:58I used to work at an STD center
00:49:02so maybe some of you recognize me
00:49:09it was fun
00:49:10the women would come in
00:49:11and I would ask for their ID
00:49:12insurance card
00:49:14and also a picture of the guy
00:49:18cause I'm pretty sure
00:49:19I can tell you what you have from that
00:49:24you know this one girl was like
00:49:26I don't know he had a mullet
00:49:27and I was like
00:49:28you don't have much time left
00:49:35yeah and it's tough out here
00:49:36I just asked out my personal trainer
00:49:39and he said
00:49:40sorry I'm not attracted to you
00:49:43and I was like
00:49:44well whose fault is that
00:49:52kind of feel like
00:49:53you should fuck me
00:49:53or give me my money back
00:49:56and I just went out
00:49:57with this one guy
00:49:58and he showed up wearing red jeans
00:50:01so I said
00:50:02oh are you on your period
00:50:06and then he got mad
00:50:07and he left
00:50:08so he was
00:50:09and I used to wear
00:50:17a purity ring in college
00:50:20cause I was told
00:50:21that I had to save myself
00:50:22for Jesus
00:50:23which I think I thought
00:50:25meant if I played my cards
00:50:26right
00:50:26that one day
00:50:28I get to have sex
00:50:29with Jesus
00:50:31but then I was like
00:50:32that doesn't make any sense
00:50:33he's probably a virgin
00:50:33you know
00:50:34cause it runs in his family
00:50:37and cause I grew up
00:50:38so religious
00:50:39I didn't stop wearing
00:50:40my promise ring
00:50:41until like four years ago
00:50:43which means fellas
00:50:48you know
00:50:49I'm bad in bed
00:50:55I also break promises
00:51:00I'm Olivia Carter
00:51:01thank you
00:51:05she fucked things up
00:51:07she just fucked things up
00:51:08that was awesome
00:51:09I loved her
00:51:10she has the combo pattern
00:51:12of abstract jokes
00:51:14and showing her personality
00:51:16at the same time
00:51:18that's a good observation
00:51:20there's like an adrenaline rush
00:51:22when you're on stage
00:51:22and then there's like
00:51:23a calm down
00:51:23so I'm in the calm down
00:51:24having a banana
00:51:26I'm chilling
00:51:32I feel amazing
00:51:34to make it past the first round
00:51:35and into the callbacks
00:51:36I tried to play it cool
00:51:37but like
00:51:37I almost passed out
00:51:38when they called my name
00:51:43I don't know
00:51:44what's gonna happen
00:51:44at the end of this
00:51:45but I know like
00:51:45I'm my best version
00:51:46I've ever been right now
00:51:47I was so focused on comedy
00:51:48I was ignoring other things
00:51:49that I needed to keep myself level
00:51:50taking time to work out
00:51:52eat good
00:51:52maybe go to therapy
00:51:53if you need it
00:51:54you know like
00:51:56just be a person
00:51:57you don't have to be a jackass
00:51:58to be a dope comic
00:52:12I just celebrated
00:52:13my 39th birthday
00:52:1739's not old
00:52:18but like
00:52:18old things are starting
00:52:20to happen to me
00:52:22like I be falling and shit
00:52:28y'all laughing?
00:52:31I fall
00:52:33I fell down the stairs
00:52:34at the airport
00:52:36nigga I fell down
00:52:37every step
00:52:40I fell so slow
00:52:41I was having full thoughts
00:52:45I was like
00:52:45I don't believe
00:52:45this is happening
00:52:48at JFK
00:52:52I'm getting older
00:52:53and I'm trying to do better
00:52:55I start going to therapy
00:52:57it's a lot of crying
00:52:58in therapy
00:52:59and I hadn't cried
00:53:00in years
00:53:01and I forgot
00:53:02I'm an ugly crier
00:53:07that's me
00:53:09my therapist be stressed out
00:53:10she's like
00:53:11take your time
00:53:12take your time
00:53:13but she's charging me
00:53:14by the hour
00:53:15so I'm like
00:53:15go
00:53:15go
00:53:16go
00:53:17force it out
00:53:19I like
00:53:19I like it
00:53:19now
00:53:20you get a good cry
00:53:20if you feel so light
00:53:21after a good cry
00:53:22you feel like
00:53:23you bust a nut
00:53:23you feel like
00:53:24you need a nap
00:53:27because everyone
00:53:27got problems
00:53:29two things happened
00:53:30to me in my life
00:53:30that made me go to therapy
00:53:32when I was 17
00:53:33I got stabbed in a fight
00:53:34protecting a friend
00:53:35who I'm no longer
00:53:36friends with
00:53:37and it makes me
00:53:38want to stab him
00:53:40and then lastly
00:53:41my cousin Gary
00:53:42passed away
00:53:43my cousin Gary
00:53:43died of cancer
00:53:44he was fighting cancer
00:53:45since we were 6 years old
00:53:46and when we were young
00:53:47I didn't know my cousin
00:53:48was sick
00:53:48because the adults
00:53:49in our family
00:53:49kept it a secret
00:53:50but I knew something
00:53:51was up
00:53:52because my cousin
00:53:53was lit
00:53:54out of no way
00:53:55one day
00:53:55he had tickets
00:53:56to go to
00:53:56Russell Mania
00:53:57I was like
00:53:57what?
00:54:00front row
00:54:03a week later
00:54:04he took me to
00:54:05Disney World
00:54:05I was like
00:54:06yo my nigga
00:54:08ever since you
00:54:09got this new haircut
00:54:10things have really
00:54:10been going our way
00:54:13yo my name's
00:54:14Reg Thomas
00:54:14y'all been amazing
00:54:15thank you very much
00:54:18it's a good
00:54:19fucking set
00:54:20bad joke at the end
00:54:21it's good
00:54:21I agree
00:54:23the impact
00:54:24that a good comic
00:54:26has
00:54:26after killing
00:54:28and you're saying
00:54:29their name
00:54:29I'm still saying
00:54:31Ray's name
00:54:31I'm still saying
00:54:33Ron
00:54:33it reminds me
00:54:34that Steve
00:54:36remains one of
00:54:37the front runners
00:54:38even though he's
00:54:39so far away
00:54:39people are killing
00:54:41people are still killing
00:54:42there's no advantage
00:54:43to going early or late
00:54:44we gotta start shopping
00:54:45let's start X'ing out
00:54:49yeah
00:54:50let me honk back
00:54:51on the track
00:54:52we all did pretty good
00:54:54it's just kind of up to
00:54:55whatever they looking for
00:54:56at this point
00:54:57I also feel like
00:54:58I will never have to
00:54:59perform under this much
00:55:00pressure ever
00:55:01obviously we all hope
00:55:03we go through
00:55:03but if you don't
00:55:05you can't really be mad
00:55:06because we all succeeded
00:55:07so hopefully they
00:55:08like you
00:55:09for a showcase of 18
00:55:11this was a
00:55:12this was a
00:55:12very strong
00:55:13very strong
00:55:14very solid showcase
00:55:15very very strong
00:55:16group of comedians
00:55:17I'm actually
00:55:18extremely happy
00:55:19you saw a lot of comedians
00:55:21step up to the plate
00:55:22and do their job
00:55:23today was an amazing
00:55:24showcase of funny
00:55:26I think that's a pretty
00:55:27solid 10
00:55:28let's get ready to go back
00:55:29let's talk to them
00:55:30let's tell them
00:55:30the 10 that we're taking
00:55:31to the next stage
00:55:32let's do it
00:55:32yeah Kevin
00:55:35let's go
00:55:36thank you guys so much
00:55:38thank you everybody
00:55:40thank you
00:55:41bye you guys
00:55:42bye
00:55:50hi
00:55:52yeah
00:55:52yeah yeah yeah
00:55:53yeah yeah
00:55:54yeah yeah
00:55:54yeah yeah
00:55:55yeah yeah
00:55:56I had quite the day
00:55:58first of all
00:55:59I forgot my tag
00:55:59and beat myself up
00:56:01over it like crazy
00:56:03so you know
00:56:04I don't know
00:56:06I know there's only
00:56:07eight spots left
00:56:08the other two already
00:56:09got picked
00:56:09so I know it's tight
00:56:10I hope I get through
00:56:12you guys did an amazing
00:56:13job tonight
00:56:14I honestly was so
00:56:15blown away
00:56:16that all of you guys
00:56:17are A's
00:56:18like nobody is a B
00:56:20yeah
00:56:20I've been in this business
00:56:21for many years
00:56:2260, 65 years
00:56:25I'm Kevin's great
00:56:26grandmother
00:56:27and he's my premature
00:56:29baby
00:56:30you can tell
00:56:30how it is
00:56:32he's my baby
00:56:32with 50 cent
00:56:33that's right
00:56:36it's really brave
00:56:37to do stand up
00:56:38and so I really
00:56:39want to just honor
00:56:40the fact that you guys
00:56:41all did this
00:56:42and that you're all
00:56:43ascending
00:56:44in this moment
00:56:45let's talk about
00:56:45the competition
00:56:46going from 18
00:56:47okay
00:56:48and we're going
00:56:48to 10
00:56:49I saw very smart
00:56:50people that are
00:56:51poised and polished
00:56:52in position
00:56:53for the next stages
00:56:54of the goddamn craft
00:56:55you all have it
00:56:57but it's a competition
00:56:58so because it's a competition
00:56:59all can't go
00:57:00so I'm trying my best
00:57:02to assemble
00:57:03the best version
00:57:05of the group
00:57:05to go to the next stage
00:57:07to further display
00:57:08that thing
00:57:09so the 10
00:57:10that we will choose
00:57:12Kaylin of course
00:57:13we gave you the moment
00:57:14congrats
00:57:15on getting to the next stage
00:57:16okay
00:57:20I'm going down the line
00:57:21Usama man
00:57:22congrats
00:57:23you're going over
00:57:24okay
00:57:25number three
00:57:27Felicia
00:57:31you're so fucking
00:57:32likable
00:57:33on stage
00:57:34there's such a
00:57:35high level of charm
00:57:37that you have
00:57:38when you talk
00:57:39I want to listen
00:57:39you're going over
00:57:40okay
00:57:43top 10
00:57:44that's exciting
00:57:45this was one of the best
00:57:46lineups I've ever been on
00:57:47in my entire life
00:57:48I'm not joking
00:57:49and everybody crushed
00:57:50so I'm very happy
00:57:51I made it through
00:57:52very happy
00:57:53number four
00:57:54Steve
00:57:54yes Steve
00:58:00go on
00:58:01go on
00:58:02I know you've been
00:58:03in the comedy game
00:58:04for a while
00:58:04I can tell
00:58:06by how you approach
00:58:07your fucking craft
00:58:08by your style
00:58:09I can tell
00:58:10by your comfort
00:58:11by your writing
00:58:12you left me wanting
00:58:13to know more
00:58:14I want to know more
00:58:14about your life
00:58:15I can't wait to see
00:58:16what's next
00:58:17so congrats
00:58:18you're going over
00:58:22everyone was so good
00:58:24that just to be able
00:58:25to be at this level
00:58:26the second round
00:58:26was a blessing
00:58:27but to move on
00:58:28was uh
00:58:29I'll be living off
00:58:30this for a while
00:58:31number five
00:58:32Olivia
00:58:35you're so clever
00:58:37so smart
00:58:38and unpredictable
00:58:39I don't see the punchlines
00:58:41coming
00:58:41it's coming off
00:58:42different
00:58:42and that's why
00:58:43we're here
00:58:43so congrats
00:58:44you're going over
00:58:45I feel nervous
00:58:50it's a lot of pressure
00:58:51you know
00:58:52it's very easy
00:58:52to fail
00:58:53if I didn't make it
00:58:54then you'd be the guy
00:58:55with the funny set
00:58:56who lost
00:58:59Winston
00:59:00you're next
00:59:03the way that you
00:59:04manage a crowd
00:59:04by talking about
00:59:06topics that some
00:59:07may be a little more
00:59:08reserved or
00:59:09hesitant about
00:59:10there's such a confidence
00:59:12in your approach
00:59:12to it
00:59:12alright
00:59:16Ryan you gotta
00:59:18fucking think
00:59:18man
00:59:19you gotta think
00:59:20okay
00:59:21and
00:59:23Ryan I'm telling you
00:59:25there's this
00:59:27unapologetic
00:59:28charisma that you
00:59:29have
00:59:30that's just
00:59:31different
00:59:32I can tell
00:59:33I can tell that
00:59:33this is really
00:59:34who you are
00:59:38right
00:59:43you make us laugh
00:59:44but there's a dope
00:59:46confident energy
00:59:47that you have as well
00:59:48like I think
00:59:49you have something
00:59:50very specific
00:59:51that will be true
00:59:52to the world of Ray
00:59:53and as you go on
00:59:54in your career
00:59:55it can only get better
00:59:56so congrats to you
00:59:57all right
01:00:01down to the last couple
01:00:04um
01:00:05Andrea
01:00:09fuck you talking
01:00:10about style
01:00:11like there's a nice
01:00:12calm to your comfort
01:00:13you had us in your hands
01:00:15so congrats to you
01:00:16okay
01:00:19last one
01:00:21this one here
01:00:22was was tough
01:00:24man my heart
01:00:25is in my ass
01:00:27right now
01:00:27I'm just ready
01:00:28to get this over with
01:00:28fuck me
01:00:29so much pressure
01:00:30I don't want the
01:00:31journey to be over
01:00:36Eva
01:00:42you got it baby
01:00:43Eva
01:00:44oh my god
01:00:48so we get the tag
01:00:49we get the whole emotion
01:00:50I feel so bad
01:00:54I like the material
01:00:55I didn't see a break
01:00:57so I get the moment
01:00:59I get the emotions
01:01:00because you've put
01:01:01years into this
01:01:02fucking craft
01:01:02so I will let you
01:01:04have your emotional
01:01:05moment
01:01:05but your moment
01:01:07is earned
01:01:07it's not given
01:01:08you had a fucking
01:01:08great set
01:01:09and I did not know
01:01:10about your punchline
01:01:11so congrats
01:01:11okay
01:01:13all right
01:01:14and I want to tell
01:01:16those that are not
01:01:17in the tent
01:01:17you made it tough
01:01:20so thank you
01:01:21for doing your job
01:01:21if you didn't make it
01:01:23you're gonna make it
01:01:24in a different way
01:01:25I've been disappointed
01:01:27a million times
01:01:27and I've persevered
01:01:29and I've had huge wins
01:01:30and I've had big losses
01:01:32it's part of the game
01:01:33this is a long term
01:01:36obligation
01:01:36being a comedian
01:01:37you know
01:01:38if this is what you love
01:01:39then you do what you love
01:01:40and you persevere
01:01:42thank you all for participating
01:01:44to the 10 that go
01:01:45shit's about to get real
01:01:47the next stage
01:01:48of the competition
01:01:49will be a roast
01:01:49oh my god
01:01:50there's a clever approach
01:01:53to knowing how
01:01:54to navigate
01:01:55the space of a roast
01:01:56and we're just trying
01:01:57to test like
01:01:58your approach
01:01:59to doing another set
01:02:00through another dynamic
01:02:02that you didn't expect
01:02:03like the
01:02:04on-call
01:02:04fucking writing
01:02:06or the
01:02:06off-the-cuff
01:02:07thinking
01:02:08it takes me so long
01:02:09to write a really good joke
01:02:10I'm not a guy who does it
01:02:11and moves on
01:02:12so it's definitely
01:02:13a daunting thing
01:02:14that's not my normal
01:02:15cup of tea
01:02:15but I'll drink
01:02:16whatever they give me
01:02:17I'll be able to see
01:02:18how you are under the pressure
01:02:19underneath a certain amount
01:02:20of time
01:02:21that you had to prepare
01:02:22a lot of cool things
01:02:23go into it
01:02:24okay
01:02:24roast
01:02:27I can do it
01:02:28it's just
01:02:30not my favorite
01:02:32thank you guys
01:02:33thank you
01:02:36come on chefs
01:02:46moving on
01:02:46feels surreal
01:02:48I feel a little bit
01:02:49anxiety
01:02:49moving on
01:02:50without reg
01:02:52I'm not really a roaster
01:02:54oh my god
01:02:55I'm getting allergies
01:02:57thinking about it
01:03:03here we go
01:03:04the 10 comics we chose
01:03:05are moving on to the next round
01:03:07we're gonna find out
01:03:08what they're made of
01:03:09and those who stand out
01:03:10will eventually perform live
01:03:12the only strategy is
01:03:14be as weird
01:03:15and as real as possible
01:03:16my best stuff is to come
01:03:18that's when I'll turn
01:03:19the mic over to you
01:03:21viewers vote live
01:03:22on who will win it all
01:03:23we're giving someone
01:03:24the opportunity
01:03:25to earn
01:03:26the respect
01:03:27of the rest of the world
01:03:28of comedy
01:03:29that's a very big deal
01:03:30someone's career is about
01:03:31to change
01:03:32forever
01:03:33my mom was like
01:03:34how much money y'all win
01:03:34I was like
01:03:35we win a special
01:03:35we don't win
01:03:36but you don't understand
01:03:37what's going on
01:03:38the scariest thing
01:03:39about this entire competition
01:03:40is the possibility
01:03:41of winning
01:03:44let's do it
01:03:44all right
01:03:45what a day
01:03:45wheels up
01:03:46my god
01:03:52what's going on
01:03:53Andrea
01:03:53talk to me
01:03:55hi
01:03:56hi
01:03:56I had some inner conflict
01:03:59and I wanted to talk
01:04:02to you about it
01:04:02okay
01:04:04but basically
01:04:05while I admire
01:04:07Rose Comedian
01:04:08I don't see myself
01:04:11as one
01:04:13I'm quitting the show
01:04:17you do understand
01:04:19like how big of an
01:04:20opportunity this is
01:04:21what's at stake
01:04:22how we're trying to
01:04:23propel this next
01:04:23level of talent
01:04:24like are you sure
01:04:31set it ready
01:04:32for the show
01:04:33I don't know
01:04:34I don't know
01:04:35hit another stage
01:04:37gotta go
01:04:37gotta go
01:04:38heard another page
01:04:40other Jeff
01:04:41the longer go
01:04:42handling this business
01:04:43like a pro
01:04:44like a pro
01:04:45stay up in it
01:04:46we gon' get it
01:04:47we drop in it
01:04:48represent it
01:04:48we jump in it
01:04:49gotta keep it hot
01:04:50get the juice off in it
01:04:51never gonna stop
01:04:52that's proof we quit it
01:04:53never gonna stop
01:04:53we'll never quit it
01:04:54never gonna stop
01:04:55it's just the beginning
01:04:56never gonna stop
01:04:57you thought that it ended
01:04:58admit it
01:04:58we gon' keep it moving here
01:05:00cause there ain't no other way
01:05:01only way to do it cheer
01:05:03do it every single day
01:05:05gotta keep the focus here
01:05:08that's the way we do it cheer
01:05:10you must have it backwards
01:05:11yeah you got it
01:05:17yeah you got it
01:05:20yeah you got it
01:05:50backwards
01:05:52so yeah you got it
01:05:52yeah you got it
01:05:52i got it
01:05:52every head
01:05:52you got it
01:05:52i think so
01:05:52yeah you got it
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