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Adults.2025.S01E03 [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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00:12To be continued...
00:30Oh, hi. How are you?
00:32Oh, my God. How does he know everyone?
00:35Oh, hey, Kurt. Kurt.
00:37Yeah, they're good. They're with me. You can let them in.
00:41Seriously?
00:41I'd hang these up around the neighborhood.
00:46What?
00:48Oh. My. God.
00:51You're kidding me.
00:55How does he know everyone?
00:58When I think backless dress, I really do think Doreen.
01:00You should be wearing this more often.
01:02Anton.
01:04Have you seen this man?
01:06Oh. Oh, him.
01:09Oh.
01:11Wow. Doreen.
01:12Doreen, you have to come see this.
01:13This is crazy. I'm in a poster.
01:16Oh.
01:17It's not exciting.
01:18Doreen, you're going to want to see this, my love.
01:39Is this going to take way longer?
01:42One more second, okay?
01:44No, Samir, I'm not angry at you.
01:46Okay, but I get if you are.
01:48Like, you trusted me and my dumb ass got you in, like, 15 grand of medical debt.
01:52And is it the biggest number I've ever seen in my real life?
01:54Yes, but that's okay.
01:56I have no job.
01:57I'm at rock bottom.
01:59Um, is that the end of the sentence?
02:01But I feel excited, you know?
02:02Like, for the first time in my life, there are no expectations.
02:05I can do anything.
02:06I might buy a vape.
02:07We don't know.
02:08Okay, well, I'm going to get you the money.
02:11No, Samir, you're not going to get me 15.
02:13Yeah, obviously.
02:14It's, I have to.
02:15It's the least I could do.
02:17Okay, we're starting.
02:18We're starting my thing.
02:18So, my thanks to Paul Baker for setting up AirPlay.
02:21Your film studies minor was not in vain.
02:25Thank you, thank you.
02:26Okay, so sexy.
02:27So, to start with your most pressing questions, yes, I met the Bayside Stabber.
02:34And yes, we had a really lovely conversation on the F train.
02:38And yeah, he sent me these texts afterwards, which are, frankly, so nice and non-stabby.
02:42So, let's just take a look.
02:44Um, okay.
02:46Uh, oh, oh, okay, okay.
02:48Who is Brianna Acupuncture Student?
02:51Sorry, sorry.
02:52That's, that's, that's, it's not him.
02:53That's not him.
02:54Who's Leather Jacket Newsies Chorus?
02:56I think it was further back.
02:57Oh, yeah.
02:58Bobby Backpack, what's the story there?
03:00Look for, like, train.
03:02When you don't respond to my text, this, seeing this makes me feel a lot worse.
03:06We have a gorgeous dialogue over text.
03:07I'm so far down in this.
03:10No, you're...
03:12Oh, that's deep.
03:13That's deep.
03:15You're responding to Ghostbusters Librarian, and I don't get a text back.
03:18Oh, shit.
03:19I forgot to return the book.
03:21Anton the Stabber.
03:23Okay, now, this is the Stabber.
03:24Okay.
03:25This is him.
03:25Anton, I miss you already.
03:27You are a light in this world.
03:29The Stabber sent this to you?
03:30Yeah.
03:30What'd you say back?
03:31Just, like, nothing.
03:33Anton, move.
03:34Come on.
03:34Anton, move.
03:35Just move.
03:35Sidestep, please.
03:39I'm serious about making paellas.
03:41This is the season of us.
03:43Oh, my God.
03:43Anton.
03:44What?
03:44You are such a friend slut.
03:47Okay, ow.
03:48No, seriously.
03:48You just have this thing where you have to make people feel like the most important person
03:52in the world, so they fall in love with you, and then you ultimately forget about them.
03:56That is not true, Issa.
03:57Okay, I treasure my people.
04:00You have 400 unread text messages.
04:02No, it's 4,000 usually.
04:04Yeah, it's 4,000.
04:04It's just the zero gets cut off.
04:05Seriously, Anton, you can't just soul bond with every person you meet.
04:09It's not normal.
04:11Uh, why not?
04:11Uh, because some people stop people.
04:14Yeah.
04:14Okay, you guys are being dramatic.
04:15It's not like it's an ongoing conversation.
04:17He's not following up with me.
04:19What?
04:20He just liked it.
04:20What'd he call that?
04:21Okay, so what?
04:23He hearted a message.
04:24And now he's typing.
04:25What?
04:26He's typing.
04:27He's typing.
04:27Block him.
04:28Block him.
04:28He's typing.
04:29Look, see?
04:31And it's gone.
04:32You guys, breathe, okay?
04:34Please, the text went away.
04:35It's all fine.
04:36I promise.
04:38What?
04:38What?
04:39He's calling you.
04:41He's calling you.
04:43What?
04:43He's calling.
04:43What is he doing?
04:44What?
04:45What?
04:46What?
04:47Oh, my God.
04:49You just missed the call, and you cracked my screen.
04:52Oh.
04:59Your call has been forwarded to it.
05:12Cold closet.
05:16Hey.
05:17Yo.
05:17Where's everyone?
05:19I think they all went to the police station with Anton.
05:21Dude, crazy that he knows the stabber.
05:24Is he just always like that?
05:25Like, is he always just so friendly?
05:27Yes, it's a problem.
05:28We think his parents took him to, like, too many dinner parties when he was a kid.
05:31Okay.
05:36Holy fuck.
05:36What?
05:37Oh.
05:38Oh.
05:39You okay?
05:40All right.
05:41Yo.
05:42What the fuck?
05:43Has that been here the whole time?
05:44I don't know.
05:45I guess.
05:45I guess.
05:46I guess.
05:46I guess.
05:47I don't know.
05:47I guess.
05:48I don't know.
05:48This is not...
05:49We're not like a gunny family.
05:49It looks pretty gunny to me, dude.
05:51No, I don't...
05:51You just moved in here.
05:52This is not the vibe of the house.
05:54Okay.
05:55I have actually never seen one in person before.
05:57It makes me want to throw up.
05:58I'm going to fucking throw it out.
05:59We can't throw it out.
06:00Dude, what if the stabber gets it?
06:01No, dude.
06:02We have to, uh...
06:03Oh, we can take it to a buyback.
06:04Yeah.
06:05What's a buyback?
06:06I got a gun store.
06:06You can take the gun to a gun store, and they will buy it back from you for, like, a
06:09chunk
06:10of cash.
06:12We can go together, if you want.
06:15Okay.
06:15Yeah?
06:16Okay.
06:16Okay, great.
06:16Yeah, yeah.
06:17Sweet.
06:17Oh, Jesus.
06:18Okay.
06:18Sorry.
06:23Do you find the police and all, but they, like, need to zhuzh this place up?
06:26It's so depressing.
06:28Yeah.
06:28It's just so...
06:29Yeah, it really glides on the page.
06:31Do you know what I mean by gliding?
06:33Like, it really...
06:34Wait, what the hell?
06:39Oh, my God.
06:41Jailbait?
06:42Who are you?
06:42No, I know, but I told you, I'm trying to explore a little.
06:46Like, okay, I am done with the version of me
06:49who asks boring guys to choke me and then says,
06:52what?
06:52Just kidding.
06:52Like, I want to live my 20s a little.
06:56Is that crazy?
06:57No!
06:58You've arrived.
07:00I'm so happy.
07:01I couldn't agree more.
07:02Seriously, like, you're between jobs.
07:04This is your time to start fucking like your grandchildren.
07:06We'll hear about it one day.
07:08Okay.
07:08Mind wipe?
07:09Yeah?
07:09I do want my grandchildren to think of me sexually.
07:12Gone from my brain.
07:13Never heard it.
07:15Give me your phone.
07:16Okay.
07:17I'm going to put you on field.
07:19This was amazing for my whore phase.
07:21Really?
07:21Mm-hmm.
07:22Before I met Paul Baker,
07:23this is how I met that Brazilian couple.
07:25Oh, Lucas and Sophia.
07:26Yeah, so hot.
07:28And, oh, my God, Joe with the leash.
07:30Joe with the leash?
07:31I know, but don't.
07:32He never walks you.
07:34Hi.
07:35So apparently they want me to give a statement?
07:37What?
07:38Really?
07:39Why must I become embroiled?
07:41Because you are a friend slut.
07:43Because you're a big slutty friend slut
07:44who needs everyone to be obsessed with you.
07:46That's not true.
07:47I don't need you guys to be obsessed with me.
07:48That's because you know we're obsessed with you.
07:50And whose fault is that?
07:52Mr. Evans, we're ready for you.
07:54Oh, my God.
07:55Okay, earrings.
07:56Yes!
07:57Thanks.
07:58I made them myself.
07:59What?
08:00Wow, you and I are going to go to Shark Tank, girl.
08:02Mark Cuban suddenly in.
08:03We're in tears.
08:03I took this class for a while.
08:06Friend.
08:07Slat.
08:09Get back here.
08:10Come on.
08:10Which way, baby?
08:11Ooh, how do you feel about firemen?
08:13Oh, no, sorry.
08:14There's a comma.
08:15How do you feel about fire and also men?
08:18Yeah.
08:22I can't.
08:23Yes, we can't.
08:24No, I can't.
08:24We can't.
08:25We got this.
08:25We can't do anything.
08:26We look like we're fucking J.Crew Columbine.
08:28I don't want this shit.
08:28Okay, just let me talk.
08:30I'll handle this.
08:31Okay.
08:31All right?
08:32Okay.
08:33I'll chill in the fucking grenade aisle.
08:35Okay.
08:35Yeah.
08:38Hey, bud.
08:39Hi.
08:40How are you?
08:40The name's Paul Baker.
08:41It's nice to meet you.
08:42Look, my buddy over there.
08:44My buddy with the flag.
08:45That's him.
08:46He's going through it right now.
08:47He found his dad's shotgun in the old coat closet.
08:50Problem is, he's not a 007 man like yourself.
08:55And so we're just trying to figure out a way to sell his bad boy back to you.
08:58You know, a.k.a. a little buyback.
09:00I'm sure you're familiar, you know?
09:02So what do you say about that one, huh, big guy?
09:04Could you help us out with that?
09:07Why are you talking to me like I'm retarded?
09:11Oh.
09:13No, I wasn't.
09:14No, the.
09:15We actually don't use that word anymore.
09:17Like at all, sir.
09:18I, the cast of Kalee kind of edited that through the power of song, so.
09:22What?
09:23Retarded?
09:24Oh.
09:25My sister's retarded.
09:26Do you got a sister who's retarded?
09:27Just give me one.
09:28One second.
09:29Hey, dude.
09:30We can't do this.
09:31I, I, we gotta go.
09:32What do you mean?
09:32I don't know.
09:33Dude, that, that, that's never happened to me before.
09:34I think that went like.
09:35What?
09:36Bad.
09:36I don't know.
09:38Okay, well, I'm not leaving the gun store with a gun.
09:39We're gonna look insane.
09:40No.
09:40I can't sell it to this man.
09:41I don't, I don't know what.
09:42Baker, you're a charming ass man.
09:44Hmm.
09:45And I didn't want to say this before, but I need this money for Billy.
09:49For medical bills?
09:51Yeah.
09:52Fuck, okay.
09:54Oh, shit, okay.
09:55Okay?
09:56Yeah.
09:56We got this.
09:56Totally, we got this.
09:57You and me.
09:58All right.
10:00Oh, you're just gonna.
10:01I'm just gonna hang out here.
10:03Okay.
10:04Hey, brother.
10:05My man.
10:06Uh, I feel like I condescended towards you before, and for that, I'm very sorry.
10:10I don't know what that was.
10:11I'd be a Canadian thing, but if we could just start over, I'm just trying to sell this
10:15gun back.
10:16I don't know what that was.
10:18What's with the nail polish?
10:20You a fruitcake or something?
10:23Am I a...
10:27No.
10:29No, I'm not a fruitcake.
10:30No, that is, um, no.
10:33Huh.
10:33Because I was gonna say, if you were a little fruity, I'd get your number and buy your gun.
10:40Oh!
10:42Oh, you're...
10:43Okay, yeah.
10:44I am fruity.
10:45I don't...
10:45Yeah.
10:46I personally don't usually describe it like that.
10:48I usually say, like, fluid, mostly, but I...
10:50Yeah, I am a fruitcake.
10:51Are you lying to me right now?
10:52No, sir.
10:53You quibating me?
10:54Quibating me?
10:54No, what is the spectrum of your language?
10:57No.
10:57I...
10:57Hey, Samir.
10:59Samir, tell this guy.
11:00I sleep with men.
11:01I'm...
11:02I'm...
11:03This guy?
11:04No.
11:05This guy.
11:06But if anything, he's homophobic.
11:08No, I'm not.
11:08I'm not homophobic.
11:09I heard you before.
11:10I was like, fruity, what?
11:11Because I haven't...
11:12We don't...
11:13Get the hell out of my store.
11:15Yes, sir.
11:17He sleeps with men.
11:18He does it all.
11:27So, at this point, you and the suspect exited the train and made dinner plans?
11:31Is that right?
11:32Yeah, that's right.
11:33And not just one dinner, but, quote, weekly dinners every Sunday.
11:39No, literally every Sunday.
11:41I don't care if it's Christmas, we are getting dinner that Sunday.
11:46Yeah, that's correct.
11:47And then you exchanged numbers and asked, quote,
11:51Can white people and black people be twins?
11:54Someone called NASA.
11:55I feel like we're literally twins.
11:59Yeah, and what's the question?
12:01Is it normal for you to act this way towards complete strangers?
12:06Uh-huh.
12:07Uh-huh.
12:08Okay, I see where you could get confused there.
12:10So, let me explain.
12:11So, I feel like for the average person in society,
12:14they sort of need to turn on and off.
12:17Right, like on, and then they're off.
12:20And I have this fun little thing where I, um, I don't have that problem.
12:26No.
12:27So, I can really make a deep, close, beautiful bond with anyone, really.
12:32All walks of life.
12:33Yeah.
12:34Which some people might call a friend slut, but I actually call just being a delight.
12:42So, but that's, that's me.
12:44Tell me about yourselves, please.
12:47Okay, so you feel close to this man.
12:51Which?
12:52The perpetrator.
12:53Oh, yes.
12:54Oh my God, you should have said that.
12:55100%.
12:55Yeah.
12:56You have a, a deep, intimate connection with this man.
13:00Yeah, very much so.
13:01Definitely.
13:03Okay.
13:05Bring him in.
13:07Hmm?
13:07Who?
13:07Yes, bring him in.
13:09Get in here.
13:11Come on.
13:14Who are these men?
13:16Which one's the perpetrator?
13:18They're there.
13:19Hmm?
13:20Out of, out of these?
13:21Mm-hmm.
13:24It's just hard when they all look so similar.
13:34Ooh, what about Davis?
13:36He's into foot stuff, bondage, piss play.
13:39Oh, and he's close to his twin.
13:41Aw.
13:44Okay, very close.
13:47Oh, you liked it.
13:48Oh my God, it's a connection!
13:50Can you win, field?
13:51Yeah, you can!
13:52It's the Space Mountain picture.
13:53Yeah, I know, my boobs are just like, up.
13:55I know.
13:55Yeah.
13:56Hmm.
13:58Seriously?
13:59One of the guys on here is going to give you such an insane dick town,
14:03you won't even remember that you're sad, jobless, and in debt.
14:06Hmm?
14:07Mm-hmm.
14:09Hi.
14:10Hey, I'm Anton's friend.
14:11Is he home?
14:12Uh, no, but he should be home any minute.
14:14Do you want to come wait inside?
14:18Hey, put your phone down.
14:19It's happening.
14:20What is?
14:20You're going to fuck this man.
14:22What?
14:24Wow.
14:28I know.
14:29You know your mailbox is really full.
14:30Oh, yeah.
14:32Yeah, we're kind of like saving that for like a weekend project.
14:35Oh.
14:37He's so good.
14:38I know.
14:39You literally manifest.
14:40Yeah, I'm...
14:40Um, do you want to sit down?
14:42Uh, sure.
14:43Please, come on.
14:45Oh, wow, so strong.
14:49Hi, Billy.
14:51Ethan.
14:52So, how do you know Anton?
14:53Oh, uh, he's my best friend in the world.
14:58Yeah, isn't he everybody's?
15:01Um, uh, wine?
15:05Sure.
15:07You know, I want you to feel at home.
15:09I want you to relax.
15:10We also have some weed as well as some PCP that we've been saving for a very special night.
15:14No, I did it once.
15:15I had the most productive night of my life.
15:17Oh, my God.
15:17Hey.
15:18Oh, man.
15:18Hi, sweetie.
15:19Hi.
15:20Oh, hi.
15:21Anton.
15:22Have we...
15:23I'm so sorry.
15:23Have we met?
15:24Anton, it's Ethan.
15:27I don't...
15:27Your friend, Ethan?
15:29Oh, my God.
15:30He does this.
15:31Okay, he makes friends with everyone he needs, but now it's become the whole thing.
15:35Anton?
15:38Is everything...
15:39Okay.
15:40Sorry.
15:41I just have to use the restroom.
15:44Okay, he has a very small bladder.
15:49Absolutely ginormous.
15:51Wait, so where are you from?
15:52Uh, here.
15:54Oh, my God.
15:55Oh.
16:02You ask.
16:03You ask.
16:03I did the last one.
16:04No.
16:05No.
16:05Hi, do you guys want to purchase a shotgun?
16:07Shotgun?
16:08No way.
16:09My friend, big gun, good price.
16:12Don't tell the guy in there about us.
16:15What's up?
16:16Anton wants us to bring home gum.
16:18Hmm.
16:20Yeah, I got some.
16:21Okay, sick.
16:22That would have been, like, a whole thing.
16:26Miss, shotgun?
16:27Oh, fuck.
16:28Oh, fuck.
16:30Sorry.
16:35Tight, tight, tight jacket.
16:37Oh, my God, Billy, look at these offers.
16:39Wow, I love your tattoos.
16:40I was literally thinking about getting one.
16:42Did it hurt?
16:43I don't know.
16:44I didn't really feel pain.
16:46Wow.
16:46Wait, that's so real.
16:50Hey, Billy.
16:51Billy.
16:52Hey, Bill.
16:55Oh.
16:57Oh.
16:58Oh.
16:58Oh my God.
17:02Oh boy.
17:05Oh my God.
17:12Yeah.
17:12Oh my God.ŃŃ
17:18Daddy. Yeah.
17:23Oh my
17:24God. Oh my
17:26God. Oh my
17:26God. Oh my
17:27God.
17:28right now girls we're gonna be right back follow me
17:35stop stop stop stop oh my god get in the car get into the car jesus christ anton okay god
17:46he's so hot i know oh my god what are you doing billy is trying to fuck that guy leave
17:51me okay
17:51she's not okay no listen hi um we're at 803 forest street um the bayside stabber is sitting
17:57on my couch what are you talking about uh-huh oh my god what i may have let him follow
18:04me on find
18:05my friends and for that i am so deeply sorry you have a problem okay you might be right
18:09no not you no please no i feel a connection with you already yep oh my god why are you
18:14like this
18:19anton no no no he's coming he's coming towards us he's coming towards us he's coming it's sunday
18:23man we doing dinner or what tell him to leave anton seriously he's a stabber you can let him
18:29hate you okay okay yeah are you guys heading out yes i'll come with yeah totally hop in okay
18:37well he's getting in the car now so i don't want him to get in the car
18:42come on please hey can you pop the trunk oh my god he's not your friend you can tell him
18:50he's not
18:50your friend i obviously can't do that isa yes you can i believe in you we believe in you don't
18:54we
18:55tell him tell him anton tell anton anton anton what are you doing do not run over this man anton
19:14what did you do are you crazy something in me is broken i just need to be everything for
19:23everyone and now i just killed a man
19:28i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so fucking tired i'm so oh my god hi i'm so what the
19:33fuck dude
19:34thank god okay fucking do it just do it
19:41hey um i i don't want to be friends with you
19:50i'm really sorry
19:54you could have just said that
19:58totally
20:03go go go go police he's over there
20:08i'm so sorry
20:09what's going on unbelievably sorry about it
20:12he ran into the alley
20:13there's a man there
20:14you got a visual on the baseline stabber
20:16take him hard he doesn't feel pain
20:19wait what that's the stabber
20:21i know and billy almost fucked him
20:24but it was too much too fast
20:25yeah way too much
20:26yeah fucking a stabber is like a nine you want to start at like a six
20:30yeah a six or a five
20:31oh a five
20:32yeah yeah
20:34give me your phone
20:36give it
20:40okay ready
20:42red shirt tall guy
20:44delete
20:46michelle elevator
20:47delete
20:47delete
20:48goodbye michelle
20:49scarf guy kind eyes
20:51no keep
20:52no keep
20:52no
20:52that doesn't mean anything delete
20:55joe with the leash oh my god you know joe's leash
20:57yeah but he never walks you
20:58oh that is correct
21:00delete
21:01okay wait so what happened to you guys
21:03oh yeah what did happen to you guys
21:05oh it's like a
21:06don't even worry
21:09okay flight attendant straight delete why would you keep a straight man
21:13no dude he's hot
21:15oh too bad dude man i suddenly i almost get stabbed and i become a pro
21:19that can happen after a traumatic incident
21:21oh
21:22oh anton i got your gum
21:23yeah i did
21:28and i'm dead
21:29and on the TV never played no walk and roll
21:33i got tired just getting off my feet that day
21:38i had to walk and roll and try to have a green day
21:41yeah
22:08ha ha good a business
22:14oh
22:15oh
22:15oh
22:16oh
22:16oh
22:17oh
22:17oh
22:17oh
22:18oh
22:18oh
22:19oh
22:21oh
22:21oh
22:21oh
22:22oh
22:23oh
22:23You
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