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00:12Hello and welcome to The Weekly. I'm Charlie Pickering. We have another patch show for you tonight.
00:17Rhys Nicholson has found the conspiracy theories that turned out to be true.
00:20Nicolette Minster exposes the beauty fads warping young men.
00:24And our instant expert is one of our finest comedy exports. It's Felicity Ward!
00:31And as always, we've watched all the news so that you don't have to. So let's kick things off with
00:36the week.
00:41We begin with Thursday and details emerged of the shocking arrest of a Victoria Cross recipient.
00:47Former SAS soldier Ben Robert Smith is behind bars.
00:51His dramatic arrest yesterday for five counts of war crime murder created headlines around the world.
00:58Australia's most decorated living soldier.
01:01Ben Robert Smith handcuffed and escorted into Sydney's Silverwater Jail last night.
01:07Robert Smith has gone from captor to captive.
01:10Or to put it in terms he understands, the shoe is on the other prosthetic foot.
01:15While the media scrambled to catch a glimpse of Robert Smith, seen here with his dream conjugal visit,
01:23one man still made sure he was looking his best.
01:26There's been a huge media pack here for most of the day, though, waiting and watching for any sign of
01:32movement.
01:33When that van drove off, it was very difficult to catch a glimpse of Ben Robert Smith in the back
01:38of it,
01:38although we did get a little glimpse of his hands in handcuffs.
01:41Oh, don't you hate it when you have to film a bloke arrested for war crimes at five,
01:46but you have your Spice Girls tribute gig at six?
01:49Oh, what a nightmare!
01:50So how were Ben's first couple of hours in the clink?
01:54The governor of Silverwater Jail greeted Ben Robert Smith when he arrived
01:58and personally escorted him to a cell in protective custody.
02:02He had his mug shot taken before he was given prison greens,
02:06an inmate computer tablet and a packet of cereal for breakfast.
02:09When Robert Smith learned the only cereal left was all bran,
02:13he finally understood what it's like for a prisoner's human rights to be violated.
02:17Despite the charges, BRS has his supporters,
02:21from former Prime Minister John Howard and Tony Abbott,
02:24mining magnate Gina Reinhardt,
02:26and 1940s high-five enthusiast Elon Musk,
02:29who tweeted out,
02:32This is insane.
02:33And when it comes to insanity, game recognise game.
02:37But his most passionate support came from a fellow veteran.
02:41One former soldier so outraged by the arrest,
02:44he handed his own medals to Federal MP Bob Cutter with a handwritten note.
02:48Give my medals back to Canberra.
02:50I no longer want them, after seeing the way they treat veterans.
02:54And let that be a lesson to all Australians.
02:56If you don't want something anymore,
02:58just send it to the office of Bob Cutter.
03:02It doesn't matter if it's old shoes, Nan's ashes,
03:05or even a clapped-out fridge.
03:07He will take it.
03:09Just send it to Bob Cutter wants your stuff,
03:12P.O. Box 1638, Innisfail, Queensland.
03:15And yes, that is his real address.
03:20There you go, Bob.
03:24Next up, Friday.
03:25And the crew of Artemis II were heading home
03:28after a history-making mission.
03:30Picking up speed as Orion races towards Earth,
03:33the four astronauts are tonight packing
03:35and preparing for tomorrow's fiery re-entry.
03:37The astronauts became the first humans
03:39to set eyes on the dark side of the moon.
03:42While they fly by the dark side of the moon.
03:45The dark side of the moon.
03:46The dark side of the moon.
03:48The dark side of the moon.
03:49Wow. For years, we have only ever seen
03:51this boring old near side of the moon.
03:54But now, we finally see the fabled,
03:56mysterious dark side.
03:58And I have to...
04:01It's just the same.
04:04Sorry. I'm excited and all.
04:06It's just that when people said
04:07that the moon had a dark side,
04:08I guess I expected, well,
04:10something a little more like this.
04:11You know.
04:14But don't worry.
04:15According to the moon's parents,
04:17it's just a phase.
04:19Even the journey home
04:20was one for the history books,
04:22with a call from the president
04:23setting the record
04:24for the galaxy's most awkward silence.
04:26I would want to do that,
04:27to be honest with you,
04:28but you have a lot of courage
04:29doing what you're doing,
04:30a lot of bravery,
04:31and a lot of genius.
04:33But they're very, very proud of you.
04:55Administrator, Alex,
04:56just get a quick comm check,
04:57make sure you guys are still on the line
04:58and we didn't have a handover.
05:00I am.
05:01Yes, I am.
05:08As they say,
05:09in space,
05:10no one can hear you cringe.
05:12Soon it was time
05:13to re-enter Earth's atmosphere
05:14and one last feat
05:16for the ages.
05:17The four Artemis II astronauts
05:18are tonight back on Earth,
05:20healthy and very happy
05:21after their record-breaking trip
05:23to the moon and back.
05:24Re-entering our atmosphere
05:26among the most dangerous parts
05:27of this mission
05:28and the world watched
05:30holding its breath.
05:31The capsule descending
05:32at a speed equivalent
05:33to flying from Sydney to Perth
05:35in just five minutes.
05:37Flying from Sydney to Perth
05:39in just five minutes,
05:40an experience you can recreate
05:41with a Jetstar ticket,
05:43a bourbon and Coke
05:44and four still knocks.
05:47Still to come,
05:48what happens
05:48when the conspiracy theory
05:49you thought was crazy
05:50turns out to be true?
05:52Rhys Nicholson has the answer
05:53and our wellness expert
05:54Nicolette Minster
05:55on the young men
05:56smacking themselves
05:57with hammers
05:58in the name of beauty.
05:59But first,
06:00turns out the great
06:01Aussie UK exchange program
06:03might be over.
06:04New data shows
06:05fewer Aussies
06:06heading to the UK
06:07while more Brits
06:08are packing up
06:08and moving here,
06:09about 40,000
06:11in a single year.
06:12One person bucking
06:13this trend
06:14and keeping the great
06:15expat swap alive
06:16is our very own
06:17Aussie abroad,
06:18instant expert,
06:19Felicity Ward.
06:23Felicity,
06:24welcome back.
06:25Thanks, Charlie.
06:26I am back
06:27to deliver news
06:28from the little sad island
06:29in the north,
06:30the United Kingdom.
06:31And I only call it little
06:32in comparison to Australia
06:33and I only call it sad
06:35because we are.
06:36Right.
06:37So do you have any ideas
06:38on how the mother country
06:40can lure us back?
06:41Yes.
06:41I have appointed myself
06:43the new face
06:43of UK tourism
06:44and I have got
06:45a bunch of great reasons
06:47to get Aussies back
06:48on those high cost
06:49petrol planes
06:50to come and watch
06:51the monarchy die
06:52in real time.
06:56So number one,
06:57this is a big one,
06:58our politicians
06:58look like frogs.
07:01Wow, checks out.
07:02Checks out.
07:03Yeah, right?
07:04Australians love
07:04a native animal
07:05so if you come
07:06to the UK
07:07you can have leaders
07:08that make bad policy
07:09on land and water.
07:11No.
07:11No, you're right.
07:12After Harold Holt
07:13we've really moved away
07:14from amphibious leaders.
07:15We have.
07:16Alright, so what else?
07:18Okay, so when British people
07:19are famously
07:20Passag culture
07:21finally muster the courage
07:23to have an argument
07:23you can diffuse the conflict
07:25with a religious call
07:27and response.
07:27Right, like a Catholic
07:28Lord be with you
07:29and also with you?
07:31Like Neil Diamond's
07:32Sweet Caroline.
07:33Right.
07:34Okay, and that works?
07:36Yeah, like they can go
07:37Oi, Felicity,
07:38you scratched my car,
07:39you twat
07:40and you just go
07:42Sweet Caroline
07:43and they can't resist
07:44they go
07:45Bum, bum, bum
07:46Which brings me
07:49to my next point
07:49no one in the UK
07:51uses the big light.
07:52The big light?
07:54Yeah, you know
07:54the big overhead lights
07:55on the ceiling?
07:56British people
07:57at night
07:58are allergic
07:58to turning on
07:59the big light.
08:00They are a people
08:00of low lit lamps.
08:03I honestly don't even know
08:05where they get
08:05such shit light bulbs.
08:07I've never turned on a light before and it's got darker.
08:13So if you're an Australian homosexual or neurodivergent,
08:16the UK is a place to feel protected from the horrors of the big life.
08:22OK, so which of these is the reason for you to live there?
08:26None of them. My son's British and I'm trapped.
08:29And he really likes Neil Diamond.
08:32You can catch her tour in the country with her stand-up show
08:34I Wish I Could Come Out of My Shell.
08:36Would you please thank the wonderful Felicity Ward?
08:45After eight long years, they're back.
08:49They've been around the world and now they're coming back to Oz.
08:53Get ready, Australia, for the biggest tour of the year.
08:57It's the Sussexes' Down Under Tour.
09:01It's the biggest show of the year with everyone's favourite Duke and Duchess.
09:05Harry and Meghan are live on stage with all their hits, like Anchor Into Your Knowing.
09:11There really is a lot of value to when you anchor into your own knowing.
09:17Coming back on Instagram.
09:18Coming back on Instagram was a really big decision.
09:22My Brother's Annoying.
09:24There's a spare in the air.
09:26My Brother being the air and me being the spare.
09:29And grocery shopping.
09:30I miss grocery shopping so much.
09:33And Harry's classic hit from his autobiography spare, My Penis Hurts.
09:38My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised.
09:43Don't miss your chance to see the world's most relatable couple live.
09:47Proudly supported by opening act, Sushi Mango.
09:52The Sussexes' Down Under Tour.
09:55Tickets are on sale now.
09:59Moving through to Saturday.
10:01And with his pointless war in Iran that nobody wants, weirdly damaging his popularity,
10:06Donald Trump was desperate to open the Strait of Hamuz.
10:09So naturally he threatened his biggest war crime yet, shocking even his long-time supporters.
10:14President Trump has upped the ante dramatically by saying Iran's whole civilisation will die tonight.
10:21In a post to his truth social account just earlier today, the president stepped up his rhetoric,
10:26saying, quote, a whole civilisation will die tonight.
10:30I don't know about you, but I am sick of this shit.
10:34I'm sick of it.
10:36Just shut up.
10:38F***ing shut up about that shit.
10:40You don't threaten to wipe out an entire civilisation.
10:44The North Korean dictator doesn't talk like this.
10:47He talks like a supervillain from a Marvel comic.
10:50Ah, yes, my favourite Marvel supervillain, the not-credible Hulk.
10:56While threatening to wipe out 90 million people sounds and is bad,
11:01some were keeping an open mind.
11:03Let's talk about tonight, the deadline that President Trump has set, 8pm,
11:07has threatened to destroy a civilisation.
11:11How does an investor process that?
11:13Is it a bigger upside risk or downside risk?
11:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:16How do investors process this?
11:18Is it a genocide or more of a genotunity?
11:22With the world's media counting down to Trump's deadline in just 90 minutes until the end of a run,
11:28Trump backed down and announced a ceasefire.
11:30And while not destroying an entire civilisation should be applauded,
11:34many felt it was another example of Trump's famous acronym.
11:37Taco means Trump always chickens out.
11:40I think he's worried about the taco charge, Trump always chickens out.
11:44T-A-C-O.
11:46Taco.
11:48T-A-C-O.
11:49T-A-C-O.
11:49T-A-C-O.
11:49T-A-C-O.
11:49T-A-C-O.
11:49T-A-C-O.
11:50T-A-C-O.
11:51T-A-C-O.
11:52T-A-C-O.
11:55T-A-C-O.
12:00Another Trump taco brought to you by the good people at Old El Pido.
12:06Yeah.
12:07The, um...
12:09The secret ingredients are redacted.
12:12Armageddon averted.
12:14Come Sunday, the two sides finally drag themselves to the negotiating table.
12:17The U.S. Vice President, J.D. Vance, has held face-to-face talks with senior Iranian officials
12:23in Islamabad.
12:24Vice President J.D. Vance, Steve Whitcoff, Jared Kushner, they're all there right now
12:28meeting with Iranian leaders.
12:31The White House has confirmed that the two sides, along with their Pakistani hosts,
12:36are meeting face-to-face in Islamabad.
12:38The first hurdle in negotiations was getting Trump to understand that Islamabad is a city
12:43and not his immigration policy.
12:52So, given the stakes, how did the talks go?
12:55We have been at it now for 21 hours.
12:58The bad news is that we have not reached an agreement.
13:01And I think that's bad news for Iran much more than it's bad news for the United States
13:04of America.
13:0521 hours and no result.
13:07At least the Americans may finally start to understand test cricket.
13:12So, with Trump still unable to get Iran to open the strait, he announced that he would
13:17be blockading the strait himself.
13:19A tactic not seen since the Fireman Sam episode, where Sam set fire to himself just to teach
13:25fire a lesson.
13:28So, where does that leave Australia?
13:30Well, with our nation's fuel stocks in jeopardy, the PM headed to Singapore to make a deal.
13:35The Prime Minister will land in Singapore in a few hours' time on a mission to swap Australia's
13:40gas for vital fuel reserves.
13:43With Middle East oil partially blocked, Singapore's turning to other suppliers, including Russia.
13:48The petrol that goes into all of our tanks will come from Russian oil refined in Singapore
13:54and therefore is likely going to go and fund, or in some way partly fund, the war in Ukraine
13:59from the Russian side of it.
14:01So, driving to the shops will now help fund a dangerous authoritarian billionaire, finally
14:05bringing drivers of petrol cars in line with people who drive Teslas.
14:12Still to come is the solution to the crisis of masculinity, smashing yourself in the face
14:18with a hammer.
14:18Nicolette Minster has the answers.
14:20But first, to Monday.
14:22And throughout this season of the weekly, Rhys Nicholson has explored the kooky world of
14:26cookers and conspiracy theories.
14:28From chemtrails to the Illuminati, we've all had a good laugh at the insane, made-up things
14:33that people believe.
14:34But what happens when they're right?
14:36Enjoy our final instalment of Rhys' Conspiracies Theorieses.
14:42And now I think I'm meant to say, roll the tape!
14:46Well, it happened.
14:47My completely unsanctioned conspiracy office has been shut down.
14:51Apparently, the eggheads upstairs need the space for our rapidly expanding Archive of Federal
14:57Court documents.
15:00Ironically, just as we're shutting down the conspiracy office, belief in conspiracies is
15:05going up.
15:06In fact, according to a US survey, 40% of people believe there is probably a single hidden group
15:12secretly controlling world events.
15:1540%.
15:18So what's happening?
15:19Trust in the dweebs running things is at an all-time low.
15:22But trust doesn't just disappear, it relocates.
15:25Usually to a podcast being recorded in a ute.
15:30We used to have three TV channels and one weird uncle.
15:34Now that uncle runs his own conspiracy channel on YouTube with bonus content on Patreon.
15:40But when the world feels chaotic with pandemics and wars, inflation, people need someone
15:45to blame.
15:46Like I blame Charles.
15:52Hello, Charles.
15:53Hey, Rhys.
15:54I heard you had to move out of your office.
15:58I wondered if you wanted a hand.
16:00Oh, so now you feel comfortable with just the two of us in a room.
16:04Good chat.
16:06Bye, Charles.
16:07Now, here's the awkward part.
16:10Some conspiracies weren't theories.
16:12They were documented.
16:15The CIA secretly dosed unwitting citizens with LSD to research mind control.
16:20Ugh, conspiracy theory.
16:22No.
16:23It was confirmed by the United States Senate.
16:26This Kool-Aid was spiked with LSD.
16:31But before we pin our piece of red string exclusively to the United States, let's not forget
16:36Aussies love a cover-up, followed by a heartfelt parliamentary apology decades too late.
16:42In the 1950s and 60s, the British conducted what historians technically refer to as a clusterf**k
16:49of nuclear tests around South Australia.
16:51Turns out it was not manageable.
16:54And decades later, the government had to admit that.
16:56Because the uncomfortable truth is, the real conspiracies aren't cinematic.
17:01They're just admin.
17:02And occasionally shoulder pads.
17:07In the late 80s, people started saying Milli Vanilli weren't actually singing.
17:11Fans were outraged.
17:12The industry said, impossible.
17:15Turns out...
17:16They're awful secrets out.
17:18They didn't sing a word.
17:19Not a single note.
17:21They won a Grammy, then lost it.
17:24Because the conspiracy wasn't about secret elites.
17:27It was about lip-syncing.
17:29Lip-syncing.
17:30Lip-syncing.
17:32Lip-syncing.
17:33So, yes, some conspiracies were real.
17:37Which is unfortunate.
17:38And fascinating.
17:40And unfortunate that it's so fascinating.
17:42Because once you've watched the dancing UFO footage
17:45narrated by the US fighter pilots...
17:47Come on, baby!
17:49..and you've been briefly entertained by the idea
17:51that Avril Lavigne was replaced by a woman named Melissa...
17:54No, I'm not, Dad.
17:56Suddenly, every YouTube comment starts to feel disturbingly confident.
18:00And that's how you end up learning geopolitics and aviation safety
18:04from a man called Truthbeater69er.
18:07Some conspiracies were real.
18:10Which is all the internet needed.
18:12And now I get to watch a 45-second reel about it in bed
18:16while I wait for my gummy to hit.
18:22Let's head through to Tuesday
18:23and the people of Hungary headed to the ballot box.
18:26Hungarians will go to the polls tonight
18:28in an election that could reshape European politics.
18:32Prime Minister Viktor Orban's 16-year reign is on shaky ground.
18:36Orban's anti-migrant nationalist democracy
18:39made him a hero to President Trump,
18:41a friend to Russia's Vladimir Putin
18:43and a nemesis for Europe.
18:45He's a good guy.
18:46What? He's a good guy?
18:47Yeah.
18:47But people say he's very corrupt.
18:49Ah, people stupid.
18:51You may not know this,
18:52but people stupid is a common phrase in Hungary.
18:55While over here, we would say,
18:57ah, shut up of your face.
18:59LAUGHTER
19:00With polls looking dire for Orban,
19:02he received a surprise visitor to help him campaign.
19:05The vice president of the United States is in Hungary today
19:08extending his support to Prime Minister Viktor Orban
19:10ahead of a pivotal election there.
19:13We want you to make a decision about your future
19:16with no outside forces pressuring you or telling you what to do.
19:21I'm not telling you exactly who to vote for.
19:24Vance is also the first sitting U.S. vice president,
19:27let alone president,
19:28to campaign in Hungary,
19:30obviously breaking with American tradition
19:32to stay out of the domestic affairs of other countries.
19:35Ah, yes, yes.
19:36As the people of Cuba, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan,
19:40Venezuela, Iran and et cetera will tell you,
19:43the U.S. has a proud tradition of minding their own business.
19:47Carefully maintaining his electoral independence,
19:50Vance even organised a little celebrity cameo.
19:53Vance and Orban held a rally in a packed sports arena.
19:56The vice president calling President Trump
19:59and putting him on speakerphone.
20:01I actually had a special guest
20:03that asked that I give him a phone call
20:05and we'll see...
20:08Let's hope he actually answers.
20:10I'm sorry, the person you were trying to reach
20:12has not been set up yet.
20:14OK.
20:15Ouch.
20:16In response, the crew of Artemis II said
20:19it was the most awkward phone call they'd ever witnessed.
20:23Cut election day.
20:24Would Viktor Orban get the famous Vance bounce?
20:28No.
20:28Breaking news.
20:29There are celebrations in the streets of Budapest
20:32as Hungary's Prime Minister Viktor Orban
20:34has conceded after a 16-year reign.
20:38He says the election result is clear.
20:41He said it is painful for us
20:43and we will serve our nation from the opposition.
20:46With no further need for their former PM,
20:48the people of Hungary sent him to Bobcatter wants your stuff
20:52and P.O. Box 1638 in Sveil, Queensland.
20:56And yes, that's his real address.
21:01Back home and not since its exposés
21:04on Bell Gibson and Pete Evans
21:06has 60 Minutes taken a deep dive
21:08into an internet wellness trend
21:10until this week when they brought us looks-maxing.
21:13This is a new global movement called looks-maxing.
21:17I had testosterone took my face from this to this.
21:20Teenage boys and men in their 20s
21:22going to extreme lengths to improve their looks.
21:26Here to make sense of it,
21:27please welcome The Weekly's health and wellness correspondent,
21:29Nicolette Minster.
21:35Yes, Charlie.
21:37Young men have stopped blaming the outside world
21:39for their inadequacies
21:41and started blaming their own outsides instead,
21:44embracing illegal steroids, DIY surgery
21:46and even facial bone smashing
21:48to replace whatever shred of personality they had
21:51with cheekbones.
21:52Right, so smashing your face with a hammer is extreme.
21:55Does it even work?
21:57No.
21:57There's more science involved
21:59in the casting of Married at First Sight.
22:02Yet it's nothing compared to the beauty standards
22:05that women have endured for centuries.
22:08Corsets that crushed organs,
22:10arsenic rubbed into the skin to look pale,
22:12poison eye drops to help you look interested,
22:15breasts implanted, buttholes lasered,
22:17lips injected, eyelids entirely removed.
22:20And that's just some of the ways
22:21that you can go from desk to dinner.
22:24Except for women, it's not optimisation.
22:27It's the tax you pay to be seen, heard
22:30and, if you're lucky, land a gig on a topical infotainment show
22:33to give the impression of gender balance.
22:37Great.
22:41How is any of this appealing to young men?
22:44Well, Charlie, in shocking news,
22:46making people hate themselves is still good business.
22:49And because I'm not above monetising a crisis,
22:53allow me to introduce my own three-step routine
22:56designed to corrupt young men for good.
22:58You can just sit there quietly.
23:01Want to get all the chicks talking
23:03about your engorged frontal lobe?
23:06You need...
23:07Brain Max!
23:09That looks like a library card.
23:13Brain Max uses reading to boost knowledge,
23:17sharpen critical thinking,
23:18and lower your risk of injecting goo into your dong
23:21because you saw it on TikTok.
23:25But why stop at the mind
23:26when you can train the body's most important muscle,
23:29the heart?
23:31Introducing...
23:32Cry Max!
23:34Cry Max helps young men access basic human empathy
23:38before the internet turns them into entitled pests.
23:42Are those DVDs?
23:44It's a curated collection of films where the dog dies...
23:49..and the first ten minutes of Up...
23:51..and the last five minutes of Shawshank Redemption.
23:55It's so good that he found Andy on the beach.
23:58Finally, for premium members,
24:00a radical new treatment that blocks out harmful content,
24:04misogynists and 5G.
24:06Long of snacks!
24:09Hang on, is that my phone?
24:10No.
24:11Ow!
24:13Die. Die.
24:14Would you please thank Nicolette Mister?
24:16Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
24:23With the rise of looks-maxing
24:25and the worldwide fascination
24:27with Louis Theroux's documentary Inside the Manosphere,
24:30it's safe to say we're living through a crisis of masculinity.
24:33But is it anything new?
24:35For answers, we hit the archives
24:36for another instalment of The Historically.
24:45It's 1965.
24:47The Beatles need help,
24:48the Rolling Stones can't get no satisfaction,
24:50and Tom Jones reassured us that,
24:51despite what his urologist says,
24:53it's not unusual.
24:54But it looks like Australia is facing a critical shortage
24:57of true-blue, fair-dinkum blokes.
24:59Whatever happened to the great Australian male?
25:03If you really want to be men,
25:05it's big and sunburnt and short back and sides and all that.
25:08Now, I've always said that I like my men like I like my beef.
25:12Grass-fed, neatly shaven and roasted to perfection.
25:16But now the short back and sides is under existential threat.
25:20Australian men are growing more hair.
25:22Why?
25:23When you think of primitive man,
25:25he's not dragging some female off into the cave
25:28with his short back and sides.
25:29He's a big, hairy man.
25:31But what about the proper, clean-shaven, office-working man?
25:35Shouldn't he be able to drag a nice lady
25:37back to the Casa Amano after hours?
25:39Face full of fuzz can be yours
25:41at your friendly neighbourhood hirsutery.
25:43As well as the traditional tilpee,
25:45it now provides false beards, moustaches, sideburns
25:48and even chest pieces for that manly beach look.
25:52These working man's merchants were so potent
25:54that our reporter found himself mobbed by a horde of broads.
25:57With hair taken care of, we turn now to men's fashion.
26:01The 1965 look for the modern city man.
26:04A slim line, a rather perky outfit,
26:07which 30 years ago would have been called quite odd.
26:12Perhaps something happened between 1935 and 1965
26:15that changed a generation of men.
26:17Well, I guess we'll never know.
26:19And what do the nation's sheilers think
26:21of this newfangled haute couture?
26:23They're far too loud
26:25and they make our men look very sissy.
26:28Our men are strictly drinkers only.
26:31Fashion is like red wine,
26:33reserved for women, communists or worse, Italians.
26:40But it seems nothing is off-limits
26:42for these degenerate sissy men,
26:44even the humble chemist.
26:45No modern pharmacy these days can really claim to be modern
26:49without its full quota of men's toiletries,
26:52which are fast demanding equal space
26:54with women's bottled secrets.
26:56My father never spoke to me about what he saw in Dubrook,
26:59so I suppose you could say men also have their own bottled secrets.
27:03And with the long hair, skin care and continental fashion
27:06comes a threat to the stoic Aussie bloke.
27:08There is more freedom for men to express emotions
27:12which previously they weren't allowed to,
27:13like grief and sorrow and things like this.
27:16Could future fellas live free from the shackles of violence,
27:18repression and toxic masculinity?
27:21No.
27:21We'll be having this same conversation in 60 years' time.
27:25But for now, I've got an appointment with the Merkin man.
27:28So it's back to you, Mr Pickering.
27:35And finally, we arrive on Wednesday.
27:38Now, you may have heard of the canary in the coal mine,
27:41but tonight we present the parrot in the submarine.
27:44The parrot you're about to meet is no stranger to the extreme.
27:48Bibi explored underwater reefs in a custom-made submarine,
27:52which his owner first tested in a bathtub.
27:55When asked how he felt about the dive,
27:57the parrot said,
27:58Polly want a new owner.
28:01Now, you might think the craft looks unsafe,
28:03but it is made from state-of-the-art materials.
28:06The vessel is made out of a food storage container
28:09with a paintball air tank supplying oxygen to the daredevil bird.
28:14So basically, Tupperware and half a paintball gun
28:17are still technically safer than the Titan submersible.
28:22And on behalf of the weekly team,
28:24we'd like to say a pre-emptive but no doubt imminent
28:26rest in peace to Bibi the parrot.
28:30And that is all for tonight.
28:31Would you please thank Rhys Nicholson, Nicolette Mister and Felicity Ward.
28:37And don't forget to tune in to my radio show, TJF, Friday Afternoons on ABC Radio or Radio National
28:43or download it on the ABC Listen app.
28:45And we will be back next week with a huge final ep of the season
28:49with Kitty Flanagan, Anne Edmonds, Rhys Nicholson, Margaret Pomerantz and Alexi Toliopoulos.
28:54What a packed show!
28:57And until then, on behalf of the team, thank you for watching.
29:00I'm Charlie Pickering.
29:01Good night.
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