- 16 hours ago
Animal Control S04E11 [Full Movie] [Must See]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:05Mysterious.
00:13Where are you taking me?
00:25Nice try!
00:26Didn't you check the license plate?
00:28I'm sorry, I was busy sourcing a hundred yards of dog leashes.
00:31What happened to my car?
00:33Run.
00:36Attention all trucks, you are never gonna guess what I'm about to tell you.
00:40Oh my god, are we merging precincts again?
00:42No. Guys, there is a new movie coming out about animal control.
00:45And the star really wants to play the role accurately, so he's coming here today to shadow one of you!
00:51Oh yeah? Well, washed up box office boys and cancelled wannabe wants to grace him.
00:54It's Bradley Boyd.
00:55Bradley Boyd? The action star of the defuser franchise? The only thing he can't defuse...
01:01Is himself!
01:02Is himself, yeah!
01:04Because he's a live wire. See, it works on two levels.
01:06No, I get it. I get it.
01:08He's gonna shadow me. I claim it. And I will fight anyone on this, especially Templeton.
01:12Hey Emily, any other big announcements you want to make today over the radio?
01:17I don't know. I think having a movie star at the office is pretty neato mosquito.
01:21Americans are so obsessed with celebrities. Nobody bothers famous people in New Zealand.
01:25That's because you don't have any.
01:27Yeah, we do. And when I see Brian Sargent at the fish and chip shop, I leave him alone.
01:31Hello? He played Trevor the rat and made the fables.
01:35Totally, totally, totally.
01:36Um, hey Templeton, can I see you in my office for a second?
01:39Uh, actually anything you have to say to me, you can say loudly to all.
01:43Okay, well your prescriptions are at Bettany's desk, but I'd prefer if you stop forwarding them to the office.
01:48No, no.
01:48They get mixed in with the dog meds and all of the dogs are aroused.
01:53Copy.
01:54Oh, hi.
01:58Maffle time, maffle time.
02:00Hey, do you know why Templeton's so pouty today?
02:03I checked and no swimsuit models from the 80s recently passed, so.
02:07I think he was hoping you would say something about his birthday.
02:10It's his birthday? Today? Why didn't someone say something?
02:13Well, Daisy would've, but she's on her Beatlemania cruise.
02:16She keeps sending me pictures of herself in the octopus's garden.
02:18It's really just a swimming pool.
02:19Oh, man, I have to make it up to him.
02:21I'm supposed to pretend to love everyone the same, like a stepmom with three new kids.
02:25You got a stepmom.
02:2811am waffles. Oh, I miss those. Used to be my thing.
02:32I don't know if you noticed or not, but I've been trying to tighten the cage.
02:35Oh, yeah, man, that thing is padlocked.
02:37Got this family reunion coming up. Going on a 10-day juice cleanse to kind of get across the finish
02:41line.
02:42So it's 10 days. Just juice. No solids. Maybe the occasional nut milk.
02:47You know I love a challenge. If you want somebody to paddle down the juice river with you, I'm there.
02:52No, I don't think you understand. See, I had to mentally prepare for this thing for weeks.
02:55It would just break you.
02:58Dude, I was nearly an Olympic athlete. I bet I'd last longer than you.
03:02You throwing down the gauntlet?
03:03Oh, I think it's been thrown.
03:05My middle name is self-control.
03:07It's on.
03:09Yeah, it is.
03:10But not for money because Maya gets upset.
03:16Oh, for God's sake. He's an actor, not the Pope.
03:19He disarmed the Pope and diffused her for white smoke, black smoke.
03:22He's here. Bradley Boyd, he's here.
03:26Damn it, that's mine.
03:27You can't hold a post.
03:28Public domain.
03:29Hey, high five.
03:31Um, everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Bradley Boyd.
03:37It is an honor.
03:39Hi, Frank Shaw, former detective.
03:41I don't typically gush, but, uh, I like your movies.
03:44Frank is one of our most capable officers, and he'll be showing you around today.
03:48Now, my knowledge of animals is limited.
03:50Even though I did diffuse an exploding python in a TikTok promo.
03:54I know you're used to a lot of action, but get ready to see some crazy stuff.
03:57I'm talking apex predators.
04:00You.
04:01I love your energy, baby.
04:06Straight guys are so gay.
04:12Oh, you caught me on groin day.
04:15You're gonna gawk, at least throw me a tip.
04:18So, I just came to say, um, happy birthday, Templeton.
04:21Uh, sorry I didn't give you a shout out this morning, but we made you a card.
04:27On copy paper?
04:28Yeah.
04:28With one signature from all of us?
04:31This card wasn't passed around.
04:33This card has zero passage.
04:34Oh, okay.
04:35It's a little harsh, but you are right.
04:38You deserve more.
04:40You know, at the 2-3 we used to write and perform poems for birthdays?
04:43Odes, epics, typical 2-2 behavior to half-ass my special day on purpose.
04:48No, no, no, it wasn't on purpose.
04:49Can you please let me make it up to you?
04:51Okay, show up to the multipurpose room tonight for my dip party.
04:54Uh, like, like dipping tobacco?
04:57Gross.
04:57No.
04:58Sharing dips with my closest friends, beans, spinach artichoke,
05:01snickerdoodle hummus dessert.
05:02Yum.
05:03And I will be there.
05:04I'll bring guacamole.
05:06Yawn.
05:07Don't forget to bring lots of neutral crackers.
05:09I can do that.
05:11Love your workout.
05:13Sorry the gerbil call took so long.
05:15I mean, we do have to weigh them though.
05:17It's protocol.
05:19Yeah, I apologize for being so skittish.
05:21Gotta bring that up with my chakra guy.
05:23Could be a blockage.
05:24You know I rescued 24 animals in 24 hours.
05:26How would I know that?
05:27Watch out!
05:28Future handbag coming through.
05:29I'm kidding.
05:30Yeah, I had to wrestle this guy off an unlicensed street performer.
05:33My place got quite the show.
05:35How did you get the call?
05:36I usually handle the bitey stuff.
05:37Because it wasn't a call.
05:38I just saw it and I took initiative.
05:39Oh, you know what?
05:40My trainer says initiative is the first step to doing something.
05:44Yeah.
05:45Do you want me to take his math tape off so you can get a pic with your head in
05:47there?
05:47Yes, I would love that.
05:52Ooh.
05:53Sitting down already.
05:54Just a little double vision, but other than that, it's all good.
05:59Mmm.
06:00Yeah, your body's detoxing from all the sugar you had at breakfast.
06:03Whatever.
06:04It's called hyper slough.
06:05Pretty common for the all prepared.
06:08Mmm.
06:10Dead man wobbling.
06:11Hey.
06:12My dad's a dead man.
06:13You take that back.
06:14I said what I said.
06:20I shouldn't have had so many fudge sickles last night.
06:23Hey.
06:23I need your help.
06:24Clear the annex kennel and your conscience.
06:26Okay.
06:27I am a weak but willing partner.
06:29Can I bring my juice?
06:31Is that a painting of you?
06:33Talk to my grandpa.
06:34He was painted when weight equated to great wealth.
06:41Little dog on the loose, he's out for blood!
06:44Careful!
06:44It's a dangerous animal.
06:46Thankfully, so am I.
06:54He's shooting dog treats!
06:56That's badass!
07:00She's eating!
07:01Frank!
07:07Consider the situation diffused.
07:10What?
07:11Frank, that was epic!
07:13Give me a glimpse into your insides.
07:15What are the feels like in that moment?
07:17Does the wind feel?
07:18It just is, right?
07:20Damn it, that's beautiful.
07:21I wish we could go deeper, but I have to get to set.
07:24You know what?
07:25You should come with me.
07:27I have to work, but I can quit.
07:29You're riding the back of a Kia Soul?
07:31I'm just messing.
07:32It's a Lambo.
07:33With the butterfly doors?
07:34Hell yeah.
07:35I mean, yeah, we can take yours.
07:36All right, let's go.
07:42Frank!
07:43Free!
07:44It's all free.
07:45What are you doing here?
07:46It's guest of talent only.
07:47Yeah, the abominator invited me after he bagged that came in.
07:49Oh, he was just being nice.
07:51You should probably go before you embarrass yourself.
07:52No, he sent a car and there was a driver standing with an iPad that said Victoria.
07:56Don't be jealous.
07:59All right, let's get it quiet on set.
08:02You still hungry?
08:03Because that can bring you a pail of corn nuts.
08:05Hey, Natty Baby, you hear me?
08:06Yeah.
08:07I'm going to try something on this one, all right?
08:09Stay on your toes.
08:10You got it, Bradley Boyd!
08:12Action!
08:17When you said this was single source, was that source the garbage?
08:22He kind of sounds like you.
08:24Mechanic hero, get a decent cup of joe, capture 24 animals in 24 hours.
08:30Oh, yeah.
08:31That's definitely you.
08:32Oh, this movie's going to be even better than I thought.
08:35Ah, damn it.
08:39What is this?
08:40Shred Taylor arranged this.
08:41And make sure that we had extra al pastor.
08:44That's my favorite.
08:46But tell the Strand, go to hell, go straight to hell!
08:48Who's weak now, bitch?
08:50Sorry, sorry I'm hungry, sorry.
08:51You know, you were supposed to help me, not sabotage me with juicy, spitting meats, and
08:55oh my god, is that a horchata bar?
08:56Well, you stepped in me with the competition.
08:58I'm going to step right back, brother, until we're stepping all over each other's toes
09:01and stuff.
09:02Quesadillas are secos away!
09:04I'm going to go lock myself in the kennel, and I hope the smell of urine is overwhelming.
09:09I'm on a cleanse!
09:10Hey, uh, great stuff out there.
09:13Um, you know, uh, Victoria said something funny.
09:15She said you were doing an impression on her?
09:17Keen eye that one.
09:18But I need to work on your mannerisms.
09:20Oh, well, um, I'm known for my posture.
09:23I'm 6'3", but, uh, I read 6'6".
09:25I cross my arms a lot, both to judge people and keep myself warm.
09:30What else?
09:30Um, your knitted brow indicates both intelligence and a cynical skepticism towards the world.
09:37Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
09:42The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat.
09:47The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible boy!
09:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
09:51I always wondered what it was like to hang out with me. This was great!
09:55This has been so helpful.
09:56I've been trying to put my finger on the essence of this character and I finally have it.
10:01He's a dick.
10:03Well, I don't know if I'd call him that.
10:05I mean, he probably gardens, reads literature, maybe a brown cat dad.
10:10Okay, I like this one.
10:11He uses his sarcasm to protect himself.
10:13Okay, yeah, yeah, that's what he does.
10:15Hey, um, I'm full. Let's go.
10:18Oh, so you're ready to go?
10:19You sure you don't want to crunch your way to the next scene, too?
10:22Well, I had to do something. Your scene was so boring.
10:24Probably went over your head.
10:25I assume you spent your school years under the bleachers?
10:27I would be offended if that wasn't entirely true.
10:31Uh, in high school, my principal allowed me to call him by his first name.
10:35Jeffrey.
10:35I have a movie-related question.
10:37How do you smash a glass bottle over someone's head without them bleeding out?
10:40Oh, he can't tell you that. It's one of the many secrets of the silver screen.
10:43We use sugar glass.
10:45Huh.
10:47You fascinate me.
10:49I'm gonna see a prop that'll send you over a six-pack.
10:55Wait, is he into you? Wait, are you into him?
10:58No, he's a stupid celebrity. I just like being here because it's not worth.
11:02Uh, you're in my chair. Move.
11:04Also, am I a dick?
11:05Yeah. Messer.
11:07Shh.
11:08I don't know why you only wear this on laundry day. I mean, this is peak Emily.
11:12I look like I went swimming in a lost and found.
11:14Wait, you have to throw away ketchup, too?
11:16It's all a temptation. All right, you were this close to turning into a cartoon turkey leg.
11:19Really?
11:20Yeah.
11:21Oh, no. No. Oh, I totally forgot about Templeton's dip party thing.
11:26I'm gonna be late late and not ten minutes early late.
11:28We still have to get to all the salsas.
11:30Oh, yeah. I need that, actually.
11:32Okay, bye.
11:33Bye.
11:35Huh.
11:36Not a great turnout.
11:39Hey, what are you doing?
11:40Look at your hair in there. You don't have a hair net on.
11:42Disgusting.
11:42Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry I'm late.
11:44There was traffic. There was cars.
11:46Save it. Save it.
11:47Coyote missed the toast and the roast and the birthday spankings.
11:50Not to mention you're dressed like a common subway flasher.
11:53Okay, a flasher would never wear as big of underwear as I have on right now, so...
11:57You know, you say you want this happy merger of the precincts?
12:00Yeah, you don't even show up for one of your key officer special days.
12:03Where are the tutu losers? Where are they?
12:04Oh, oh, I know. You probably didn't invite them.
12:06Well, I didn't realize I was supposed to.
12:08You don't realize much, do you?
12:10Like your plummeting approval ratings?
12:11What?
12:12Yeah, I did a survey monkey.
12:13Okay, let me guess. These people are the only ones who filled it out?
12:16These people, do you see what I'm shielding you from?
12:18She like this all the time.
12:19I'm just using plural pronouns. Don't agitate them.
12:22You're right. I shouldn't make this about them because it's about me.
12:24And you don't like me, and that's why you dissed me on my special day.
12:26Not for nothing, but you're not pulling off those basketball shorts.
12:29Yes, I am.
12:30You don't know fashion, okay?
12:31I am pulling them off.
12:33You know what? Templeton, you're right.
12:34I don't like you.
12:36And why would I?
12:37You're crude, you're disrespectful, and you've said from day one that you're coming for my job.
12:40So I did not forget your birthday on purpose.
12:42But maybe there was some kind of subconscious thing going on, because most of the time you act like such
12:45a D.I.C.
12:47Oh, you can't say the K.
12:49K?
12:50Oh.
12:51I'm sorry, team, for swearing. I'm just going to go, but I'm taking this with me.
12:54And I made you a really nice salsa, a pico de gallo.
12:57So, pico de gallo.
13:01The director said you wanted to speak with me, specifically not Victoria.
13:04What's up?
13:04Supposed to release this rehabilitated eagle, right?
13:08But he just stands on my arm. There's no spark.
13:11And I mean, we supposedly just saved a school bus together.
13:15Well, chemistry's tricky. You can't fake it.
13:17That's why 50% of all eagle marriages end in divorce.
13:20Damn.
13:21Well, let me know if you think of something, okay?
13:23Oh, and by the way, what's your vacation policy?
13:26I mean, is it a two-week trip to San Sebastian and the guards?
13:28Well, uh, I, uh, between vacation days, uh, sick days, and inventing dead relatives, I can make any trip work.
13:35Awesome.
13:37Now I'm thinking about flying Victoria over on the PJ for the tempranillo harvest.
13:41Friendly.
13:42Oh.
13:45Uh, back to your earlier question, uh, look at eagle straight in the eye.
13:49They respond very well to unbroken eye contact.
13:53I can do that.
13:55Okay, we're framed.
13:58And action.
14:00Looks like those kids are going to get to recess after all.
14:07Ah!
14:08Cut!
14:08Cut!
14:08Cut!
14:09Cut!
14:13Why would he either antagonize that bird on purpose?
14:15Who knows?
14:16He's an actor.
14:18I didn't put him in the hospital.
14:19The eagle did.
14:20I mean, and the bird didn't even touch him.
14:21He had an anxiety attack and is now refusing to go back to work because you told him to stare
14:25down a bird of prey.
14:27Now the entire movie is on hold.
14:28Seattle needs this.
14:29Frank, this could be the next Sleepless.
14:31Well, technically, you've got mail.
14:32What's the next Sleepless?
14:33All right, I need you to go down to the hotel, apologize to Bradley, and get him back to set.
14:37No, he called me a dick.
14:39Okay, well, the mayor's media liaison is really breathing down my neck for this one, so now I'm breathing down
14:44yours.
14:44Okay, but are we going to address this slanderous name he called me?
14:47Well, one way to prove that you're not a...
14:49Is to Hatton hand yourself down to the presidential suite and just get this movie back on track, please.
14:55Okay, fine.
14:57I'll run you a little errand.
14:58And it's not my fault that sardonic wick goes over all these morons' heads.
15:03Okay, yeah, I heard it.
15:06I'm officially over the hump.
15:09I'm post-food.
15:10I don't even need this if the cashew fits.
15:12Post-food?
15:13Really?
15:13Yeah.
15:14Oh, great, so you wouldn't mind if I did this?
15:16No, I wouldn't.
15:17No, no, no, no!
15:18Of course I mind!
15:19Don't you know false bravado when you hear it?
15:21You're really losing it, man.
15:22So I guess you wouldn't mind if I did this?
15:24Don't.
15:25Of course I mind!
15:26I didn't even bluff that I didn't!
15:28I'm so hungry that I'm nauseous.
15:30You know what makes me nauseous?
15:31The way you prance around the office like you're the world's most charming boy.
15:34Well, you're a grumpy old man who always needs a nap.
15:37Stop having kids if you hate them so much.
15:39At least I can have kids, that's right, I know all about your frozen rooster.
15:41Perez Hilton was wrong about my rooster.
15:43It works just fine.
15:48You're insulting each other's penises.
15:50I'm out.
15:51You win.
15:53I need trail mix.
15:54No.
15:55Don't do that.
15:56Don't do that.
15:57No!
15:58I'm not going to let you give up.
16:00I can't.
16:01I can't do it.
16:03Look at me.
16:04You can't do it.
16:04Yes, you can.
16:05Because I can't either.
16:07But together, we can do anything.
16:10Just dogs for life.
16:13Just dogs for life.
16:15God, our grip strength is so weak.
16:17So let me guess, your boss made you come down here to apologize.
16:20It's a good guess.
16:21Just like in Diffuser 4 when you had to guess which wire to cut.
16:25Wait, that was all those movies.
16:26I just got to ask, Frankie, why, huh?
16:28Why did you put me in danger like that?
16:31I didn't like the inaccurate way you were portraying my industry.
16:34You don't handcuff the animals and read them their rights.
16:37Some of them don't understand English.
16:41No, that's not it.
16:42See, I am in you now.
16:43I am in your psyche.
16:44Something else is motivating your vindictive choices.
16:47No.
16:48Get out of my psyche.
16:49Stop it.
16:49What was it?
16:50Jealousy?
16:50Greed?
16:53Unrequited love?
16:56Whoa.
16:56That bidet is crazy.
16:58Oh.
16:59Hi.
17:00You're here.
17:02Oh.
17:04Nice.
17:05A little bang hang.
17:06Yeah.
17:07Yeah, I feel that.
17:09Anyway, um, sorry about the bird.
17:12Um, see you at work?
17:13I'll put the do not disturb sign up as I leave.
17:16Okay.
17:19Hey, I just, uh, I wanted to apologize for last night.
17:24Even though our relationship is...
17:26Terrible?
17:26Yeah, it's not great.
17:28But I mean, that's partly my fault.
17:30I should never have gotten personal with you last night.
17:32I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to work for a female.
17:35I'm trying to apologize here.
17:36I mean, it's not like you didn't say some things too, right?
17:39It's kind of a two-way street.
17:41I guess I can have some big feelings on my special day.
17:43My mom, uh, didn't believe in celebrating birthdays.
17:47Yet, there was always a cake on flag day.
17:49Well, you know what?
17:51I promise to make better birthday memories for you starting right now.
17:54Um, attention, everyone.
17:56I would like to publicly acknowledge the belated birthday of our very own Templeton Dutch, who
18:01we're so lucky to have.
18:02And if you wouldn't mind following me into the kitchen, I'm a little surprise waiting.
18:07Happy birthday to you.
18:11Happy birthday to you.
18:13Why are we stopping?
18:14Let's keep going.
18:16No!
18:17What the heck, you guys?
18:18I'm so sorry.
18:19We're so sorry.
18:20I've read the thing for the week.
18:21Look away.
18:22You're looking at me.
18:23Really twisting the knife on my special day, boss.
18:25Well, that's how you want to play it.
18:27Game on.
18:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Templeton, this wasn't on purpose.
18:30I'm so sorry.
18:31Victoria.
18:34You and Bradley.
18:35So, falling under the spell of a celebrity, it's pretty American of you.
18:38And I ate my body weight and peanut butter in my name, it's pretty American of me.
18:42Well, I think that movie's going to be a bust.
18:44I mean, his impression of me is...
18:46Right.
18:46You're right.
18:47His impression of you is way off because you were amazing last night.
18:51It was hard.
18:58Hey, Shrek, I would have never eaten that cake if it wasn't for you.
19:01Patel, no!
19:02What are you doing?
19:03That was my partner.
19:04Now who's going to give me my coffee?
19:06No!
19:07We are civilized people!
19:09Please, stop fighting!
19:10No!
19:11Oh, my God, I'm calling 911.
19:13Gotcha!
19:15It's sugar glass from Pop's department.
19:17Uh-huh, then why is Frank bleeding?
19:20Wait, wait, Frank, are you okay?
19:22Whoa, fake blood.
19:23Nice.
19:24No, no, I, uh, I bit through my tongue.
19:28And this is why we don't play with movie props at the office.
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