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Lucky Luke S01E06 [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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00:03Help! Help! Somebody save me! I'm being chased by a mean sergeant!
00:10I have cornered you now!
00:12Let her go, you two-timey snake!
00:15Hang on. Are those Queen Crow's voodoo dolls?
00:18No, this is Charlie, this is me, and this is that good-for-nothing sergeant.
00:22Is there anything you won't steal?
00:24Let him tell his story or we'll never know what happened.
00:26Thank you. So as I was saying...
00:28Let her go, you two-timey snake, or I'll have to pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!
00:35You sure tried to aim, instead of talking so much, you little.
00:40How wonderful! What incredible dexterity, Joe Dalton!
00:44Maybe, in fact, you're the man who really, truly shoots quicker than his shadow.
00:48Listen, that's just my job, dollface, but you, how did you get here?
00:52Well, I dug my way out of the mine after I blew everything up! Kaboom!
00:55That's the sound of the explosion! The bluecoats also got out of there!
00:59Tell me, why are they after you?
01:01They want to stop me from accomplishing a mission of the utmost importance!
01:04The fact of the matter is...
01:11Something very bad has happened to Luke and Louisa!
01:15You really made my horse jolly talk?
01:16Well, yeah, I'm simplifying so that you understand.
01:18And stop interrupting me, pretty please, because something very big is about to happen like this!
01:23Oh no! My goodness! The sergeant is still alive!
01:26Save yourself, Charlie! Save yourself! I got you covered!
01:29Go accomplish the mission you didn't have time to explain to me, and I...
01:32I'll play, Louise! I promise you!
01:34Oh, really?
01:35Yes!
01:36Really, truly?
01:37Yes, yes!
01:37For real?
01:39Yes!
01:39Oh, then Kevin, then go! Save her!
01:42You are her only hope!
01:43You are my only hope!
01:44You are our only hope!
01:46You're the hope of all humanity!
01:48On top of that, you're handsome!
01:50Your handsome is your mustache!
01:51It's so gorgeous!
01:52Give me that mouth!
01:54Oh, yeah!
01:57The facts, Joe. The facts.
01:59This is authentically authentic!
02:00And I'm severely underselling it!
02:25The trail stops here.
02:27She might have stopped here for food and supplies.
02:34Marshal City, population 138.
02:37Marshal's 138.
02:38Okay, so super sketchy town.
02:39You mean a town that has rules.
02:41It has order.
02:41And sensible people.
02:47Hey, wait a minute!
02:48Come back here!
02:49Come back here!
02:50In the name of the law, you're under arrest.
02:52For purchasing an item with...
02:54In exact change.
02:56I said you could keep the difference!
02:57Yeah, sure, and then I'll end up in jail.
02:59For fencing copper!
03:00Hey!
03:01Wait a minute!
03:02In the name of the law, you're under arrest for walking over the speed limit.
03:07Agreed, however.
03:09You're no longer in your jurisdiction.
03:11Right.
03:12Oh, my bad.
03:13Overzealous practice of the law.
03:16Let's drop the charges.
03:18On a legal technicality.
03:22Okay.
03:23But I don't have my keys.
03:24Do you have yours?
03:25No, I don't.
03:51What the hell is this?
03:52Stop!
03:53Don't move a muscle!
04:052.
04:05Oh, 3 p.m.
04:06It's legally siesta time.
04:171.
04:212.
04:378 laws a day.
04:38Are these laws legal?
04:40They're all certified.
04:41They all swore ham to Padre's Bible.
04:43So are you also a marshal?
04:45Like an old lady marshal?
04:46Oh, no.
04:47I'm a normal old lady from the town next door.
04:50Well, I came here to buy a few things for my grandson's birthday, but I did something
04:54really awful.
04:56I fought all the apples.
04:59Bondling fruit is prohibitive.
05:01Two months in jail.
05:05What?
05:05And as soon as I got out, I escalated.
05:08I was coughing too loud, laughing too quietly, yawning with my mouth open.
05:12That's criminal recidivism.
05:13Wait.
05:14How long have you been stuck here?
05:15It'll soon be a whole year.
05:17Tomorrow is my grandson's 11th birthday.
05:20I hope this year I can bring him the apple pie I promised him.
05:23Before I spiral again, I'm a dangerous outlaw.
05:27No.
05:28You're innocent.
05:28I'm not.
05:29I'm a dangerous outlaw.
05:30And those guys, they're the dangerous in-laws.
05:33Yep.
05:34Oh, shit.
05:47Hey, that's Charlie's.
05:49Yeah, it's her coat.
05:50That horse.
05:51Have you seen the woman that it belongs to?
05:53I have.
05:54But I'm sorry to say she's with our lord now.
05:56Did they execute her?
05:57What?
05:58Of course not.
05:59She got a month of housekeeping for illegally part horse.
06:01She's sweeping the church.
06:17Mama.
06:20Louise.
06:27Mama.
06:30Louise.
06:38Mama.
06:47Why slap me now?
06:48Why slap me twice?
06:49And why were you kidnapped?
06:50You know exactly what it was for.
06:53I hit you twice.
06:54Because you promised to protect my daughter and instead brought her here.
06:59As for the kidnapping, let me explain.
07:09I still don't get it.
07:11This is Elizabeth Zee.
07:13The governor of New Mexico.
07:14Rich.
07:15Powerful.
07:15Dangerous.
07:16I've seen her before.
07:17She gives money to your school, no?
07:19That's right.
07:19She's the perfect governor on the surface.
07:21Her charity's a cover because her donations are bribed.
07:24She corrupted everyone.
07:25Soldiers.
07:26Politicians.
07:26Outlaws.
07:27Zee's a spider who weeps her web.
07:29Who devours those who cross her path.
07:31An anti-corruption mayor.
07:32A progressive priest.
07:33A journalist with too many questions.
07:35They've all disappeared.
07:36And the CTLD thingy?
07:39That's the code Louise found in your bag?
07:40The C-L-D-T-L-M-Q-P-C.
07:43Checklist of dirty, terrible, low-life menies and questionable people in the conspiracy.
07:46I mean, these people are super bright.
07:48So what's the conspiracy about?
07:50I haven't managed to figure that out yet.
07:51But with a governor like this as its leader...
07:54New Mexico's in danger.
07:55My thoughts exactly.
07:56One thing I know for sure...
07:58Is that step one of her plans starts tomorrow at the Herrera Ranch.
08:01A Hacienda less than two miles from here.
08:05So that's where I'm going to stop her.
08:13Who are you?
08:15So you're not a teacher?
08:16Yes I am.
08:17But only part-time?
08:19So what's the other work that you do?
08:21Are you a vigilante?
08:23Oh no, you mean like him over there with his guns?
08:25No, I investigate.
08:27I track.
08:27I expose.
08:28I just...
08:29Raise awareness.
08:30Yeah, so a vigilante.
08:34I've got a few bad guys, you know.
08:36But see, I was surprised how big it was.
08:39At first I was investigating the theft of funds by an oil businessman.
08:43But when I traced back the money...
08:44When did you have time to do this?
08:51My Spanish classes.
08:52And piano.
08:53You made me take them at night.
08:55Was that the reason?
08:56Um, but also for you to learn how to play the piano and speak Spanish?
09:01Did Chukum know this?
09:02He did.
09:04He knew it was risky.
09:05What about me?
09:06You forgot to tell me.
09:07You stuck a bunch of books in my hands and locked me in.
09:09You told me to be afraid of the world while you were off playing detective.
09:12I would have wanted to go to...
09:13Hey, I know that.
09:14Why do you think I did what I did?
09:16As a baby, you escaped your playpan.
09:17It's in your nature.
09:18And who did I get that from?
09:19From you or someone else?
09:24I wanted to protect you.
09:26No.
09:26You wanted to protect yourself.
09:30See how hot-headed you are?
09:34I get that you want to be dramatic, but that's a confessional.
09:44A man's hat on a woman is a sin.
09:46Is that written in the Bible?
09:49Well, it's not very becoming.
09:52And I think God agrees with me.
09:54He doesn't have to worry, it's a woman's hat.
09:56Not just any woman.
09:58Although she's nothing special.
10:01Calamity Jane.
10:05The zoo feather from the attack on Black Hills, the bear claw mark on the trim, and there's even the
10:11bullet hole made by Jack Mc...
10:13You're not lying.
10:16Okay, so religion and hats are your thing.
10:18So, we need to find a way to stop Z.
10:21What do you mean, we?
10:22Well, you can't dismantle this all by yourself.
10:25Well, actually that's what I'm doing.
10:27And I'm not counting on anybody given the number of dishonest people.
10:30Uh, something I'm not.
10:31My bad. Dishonest, or cowardly.
10:34Okay, can we talk about the company you keep?
10:37Hey, watch it.
10:38Right now, our priority is to get out of here.
10:40In the last 12 hours, I tried to leave three times.
10:43Each time I almost went to jail.
10:44If you ever break a law, I'll marshal cuffs you. They see everything.
10:47Huh, they won't be so smug when I start shooting.
10:49Joe, there's 138.
10:51Yeah.
10:53But the thing is, I'm a huge fan of Mrs. Jane.
10:56It is very sacred and holy way.
10:58Don't get too excited, she's rather disappointing.
11:00I'm starting to feel the terrible sin of envy rising me.
11:04Hail Mary, hail Mary, hail Mary.
11:06That should do the trick.
11:08Although since you're here, would you mind if I touched it?
11:14If you want, but it belonged to a big liar.
11:16Please, no blasphemy.
11:17I'm not, I'm just warning you.
11:19You know, telling a lie isn't always a bad thing.
11:21Sometimes it protects those we love.
11:38No, it'll go!
11:47So, I'm ready to forgive you, but no more lying.
11:50Okay.
11:53Who's my father?
11:58Okay, I get it.
12:02You want to know who your father is?
12:05Your father.
12:10It's me.
12:11And only me.
12:13I raised you.
12:14I loved you.
12:15And I-
12:15I'm sick of this shit.
12:18Louise, don't!
12:19Don't slam-
12:21In the name of the law, you're under arrest for slamming a sacred door.
12:25Let my daughter go!
12:26I'm awful yelling in the house of God.
12:28Come on, you're going to jail.
12:30Indecent footwear or tire.
12:32Wait, but I don't care.
12:42Okay.
13:09Okay, I need to find a way to pick this lock.
13:12Yeah, sure, let's pick it.
13:14Your mission always has to come first, right?
13:16But everything else, like your daughter, you don't care about.
13:19She's not wrong.
13:20Hey, nobody asked you.
13:21Maybe my mom's not perfect with me, but at least she's done it with me.
13:24As opposed to you who runs away from everything.
13:26She's not wrong.
13:28Okay, so you're both just lousy human beings.
13:32Actually, the least lousy one.
13:34Well, it's Joe.
13:36And the least incarcerated.
13:40Oh, no.
13:46Joe, you're a marshal?
13:51What about us?
13:52What about you?
13:53You two don't deserve to get out.
13:55Between you, who slapped me twice, even though I saved your butt,
13:57and you?
13:58Because you're lucky, Luke.
14:00This girl needs stability and guidance.
14:01And as a matter of fact, I am officially her legal guardian.
14:07Right here.
14:08Look.
14:09You see?
14:09I wrote the document.
14:11I signed the document.
14:12As a marshal.
14:16Taylor.
14:18He's not a marshal.
14:19He's Joe Dalton.
14:21You're good for nothing, snake.
14:23I swore an oath on the Bible.
14:26You're good for something, marshal.
14:30Well, that's just...
14:31You know, Luke, you were right.
14:33We have to follow the law.
14:35Since when do you have a Bible?
14:37The 50 weaved baskets for the Feast of St. Catherine at Santa Memoria.
14:42You know, when I was...
14:44a nice guy.
14:47The pastor was so happy he gave me this as a present.
14:52Lucky Luke.
14:53In prison.
14:56Luis.
14:57Try to reason with your guardian.
14:58We need to stop Z.
14:59No.
15:00We need to stop talking.
15:19Okay, newbies.
15:20I want this to be spotless.
15:22Where your community service fine will go from 10 to 30 days.
15:25Understood?
15:25And no funny business.
15:26Or it's back to jail.
15:33Hey.
15:34What are you doing here?
15:35I was caught touching an apple.
15:36I just can't help myself.
15:37I'm a recidivist.
15:40This is driving me nuts.
15:41We're in the worst town ever, surrounded by marshals.
15:43It was hard enough getting out of the church.
15:46Don't worry.
15:47We'll find a way out.
15:48Like I said before, there's no we in find.
15:50You know, I'm just trying to be nice here.
15:54Just admit you're upset Luis is here.
15:55No shame in that.
15:57Ooh, vigilante and therapist.
15:58You've changed, Luke.
15:59Could you stop being so smug?
16:00Smug?
16:01I'm not smug at all.
16:02That's funny.
16:03Even when you say you're not smug, you're smug.
16:05This is the smuggest guy I've ever known.
16:06Well, that's probably why I know it when I see it then.
16:09Shh.
16:10Not so loud, you two.
16:11Didn't you read the 37th commandment of the saloon?
16:14It's forbidden to air out your dirty laundry while doing the dishes.
16:17All offenders will face the boss in a duel.
16:20In a duel.
16:22A duel's perfect, right?
16:27You know, because, uh, there may not be a we in the verb find.
16:32However, when it comes to the most aggravating and irresponsible, ball-breaking...
16:43So you're not giving us pistols?
16:45Because if there are no pistols, I mean, that's not a duel.
16:47Yes, it is.
16:48It's a civilized duel.
16:50Stand ten yards apart and the first one to say Bang wins.
16:53And if I win, I'm free to leave, right?
16:55Yes, but if ever you lose, we'll shoot you.
16:58Don't worry, not with a weapon.
17:00Okay.
17:03So then...
17:04Bang!
17:05Hang on, it hasn't started yet.
17:06Oh, okay.
17:09Now then?
17:10Yes, we can start.
17:11Bang!
17:12Too early!
17:12You just told me that...
17:13Okay, now you can go.
17:15Bang!
17:15Hey, come on, I wasn't ready yet.
17:16What?
17:17He wasn't ready.
17:18Bang!
17:19You didn't cock your gun.
17:21Bang!
17:22Too early!
17:22That's five times, come on!
17:23We still have rules to follow.
17:26Bang, he needs the yell for me to hear.
17:29Let's start over.
17:29What in the name?
17:45Nothing!
17:48Let's go.
17:51Come.
18:00Let's go.
18:05Let's go.
18:06Let's go.
18:07Oh my god.
18:08Oh my god.
18:09Oh my god.
18:11Oh my god.
18:16Bang!
18:16Bang!
18:18The person on my left wins!
18:20Yes!
18:20Uh, no, I was the first one to say bang.
18:22But it was your seventh bang. You were out of bullets.
18:28Forget about it. I'm unbeatable.
18:36Come on, stop pouting.
18:38It's humiliating, but you'll live.
18:39It made you happy, sounds like.
18:41It didn't. Well, okay, maybe a little.
18:52I screwed up, right?
18:53No, don't say that. He hasn't won yet.
18:55We're gonna get out of here and we'll-
18:56It's not what I mean. It took me a while.
18:59But I came back, you know.
19:01I'm sorry, what?
19:0220 years ago. I came back for you.
19:06There was a guy with a bouquet of flowers I'd never seen before.
19:10They were exotic flowers, yeah.
19:11He crossed the whole county to bring them to me.
19:15Wait a minute. So you came back?
19:18But why did-
19:18Did I leave again?
19:19Because I saw you, the girl and her father.
19:21No. No.
19:23That was just a guy who was trying to get me in his bed.
19:25But that takes more than a couple of petals.
19:28And Mr. Willow.
19:29What did he do to catch you?
19:31There's never been a Mr. Willow.
19:33It's the name I chose for myself.
19:35The family name I chose for Louise and me.
19:39I...
19:42So Willow isn't Weeping Willow?
19:45The tree where we carved our names was not on Weeping Willow?
19:48No.
19:49Yes, it was.
19:50And I remember our very first kiss-
19:52Unreliant.
19:54Willow was for the tree where Louise had her swing.
19:58So, you're wrong.
20:24Okay, I think they've learned their lesson.
20:25Let's go free them.
20:26Sorry, sweetie. That's not part of the plan.
20:28Today it's beef and potatoes and squirrel hunting with your pa.
20:31I don't think so.
20:33I'm against making animals suffer.
20:34Well, I'm all for suffering. It's not just for animals.
20:36So I want you to sit up straight, put down that stupid newspaper,
20:39and be happy and start eating what I spend ten hours making for you
20:41so we can enjoy some quality time!
20:51I don't eat meat.
20:53You're a Dalton. We're meat-atarians. So eat your meat.
20:58Okay, Joe, it was funny while it lasted, but now you're getting on my nerves.
21:01Is that how you talk to your father?
21:02I'd never talk to him that way.
21:03But my guardian can fight my horses-
21:05Be careful, young lady. I will not tolerate your insolence.
21:08I'm warning you, if you walk through that door right now,
21:09I'll lock you up in your room for the rest of-
21:12You're alive!
21:15In the name of my law, come back here! I'm ordering you to stop!
21:19Sorry, my son, but your orders no longer apply.
21:21The young lady just left your jurisdiction.
21:24Great, okay, goodbye.
21:26However, she's entered into mine.
21:29So if she's in breach of patriarchy rules, just tell me.
21:33Wait just a second.
21:46No! No, no! No! No! No! No!
21:56I know how to get out of here!
21:58Don't move, you're under arrest!
22:13I'll be sentenced to death.
22:14Oh, yes.
22:16So that means I'm allowed to have a last request.
22:19What do you mean?
22:20You mean there's no law protecting a convict's last request?
22:24Uh, yeah, there is.
22:25Well, mine is.
22:27For you to read a psalm.
22:29Please read, Father.
22:37And God said to Cain,
22:40Hey, Cain.
22:41Come over here a sec.
22:43You were very not nice.
22:45To your brother, there.
22:46Please read.
22:47The words.
22:55And as the burning bush was burning,
22:58and as the house of sin was burning,
23:02and as the saloon of Jack McCall was burning,
23:05Calamity Jane slowly rode off into the sunset.
23:07Thank you, Father.
23:10You all swore an oath on this book.
23:12So you all swore to be marshals on a work of fiction.
23:20I know, lame.
23:23So I guess that means nobody here is a marshal.
23:26No.
23:27Wait a minute.
23:28Who will arrest us for impersonating an officer?
23:31We will.
23:35We don't mind.
23:39Did you really have to give them all of your weapons?
23:41They're part of the U.S. Army.
23:43They're corrupted and on the wrong side of the law.
23:45Yeah, and we no longer have a side, son.
23:47Hey, you!
23:47You're not a marshal.
23:48Why are you following orders?
23:50Because I'm a jailer.
23:51That's what I do.
23:52Jailing runs in the family.
24:14Please excuse his manners.
24:15He's somewhat cross that you tried to bury us alive.
24:21Please excuse his manners.
24:24Come on.
24:25Tell me where the C-L-D-M-P-Q...
24:29O...
24:32The...
24:32The...
24:33C-M...
24:35L-L...
24:36The C-L...
24:38D...
24:40It gets complicated when there's more than three letters, right?
24:45Be reasonable.
24:48You know what we're capable of.
24:50You remember your old native friend.
24:57Just stop, it's useless.
24:59Can't you see we're screwed?
25:00Wait, they got you two?
25:01Yeah.
25:02Did you put up a fight at least?
25:03Of course I put up a fight.
25:04What do you think?
25:04But they surprised me.
25:05The first one got my groin on his knee,
25:07and the other one I strangled him with the rattlesnake.
25:09I see you were sleeping.
25:10Yeah.
25:11Doesn't matter.
25:12I kind of knew that I wasn't really a marshal.
25:15Wait, you are.
25:17Your Bible's a real Bible.
25:18You didn't swear on Calamity Jane.
25:20No, I don't get it.
25:22Never thought I'd say this to you, Joe.
25:26But you're the only real marshal in this town.
25:29Please, sir.
25:30We have a failure of justice right here.
25:38Here.
25:38I got this back for you.
25:41Awesome.
25:41Really important.
25:43How's it feel being my nephews?
25:45Where?
25:47Where is it?
25:49Hey, blue coats.
26:15They didn't check them.
26:17I didn't check them.
26:18You didn't check them.
26:19They didn't check them.
26:20Come out!
26:21Slowly.
26:22We won't hurt you.
26:27What do we do?
26:30We gun them down.
26:31How can we?
26:32We have no bullets.
26:35Yeah, but we have guns.
26:54Thanks for the distraction.
26:56It allowed a real man to come and save the day.
26:58Isn't that right?
27:14Thank you, sweetie.
27:47Good day, Madam Governor.
27:49What a charming little town you have here.
27:51Even if it does lack a bit of color.
27:55Regarding our upcoming event.
28:01For this event.
28:04Ringen can't, with me.
28:05I'm sorry.
28:07He thinks that with me means bark.
28:10Ringen can't, sit.
28:11Oh, sit means bark, too, then?
28:13Ringen can't, quiet.
28:14This dog is a major moron.
28:18I guess he just wants to participate in the conversation.
28:21He's a funny dog.
28:22Ringen can't, quiet.
28:38I don't think you'll ever see that dog again.
28:40What did you say to him?
28:41The same thing I'll do to you if you disappoint me.
28:46This man?
28:48I would like you to tell me where he is.
28:50I'm going to need him.
28:52He's a monster.
28:54No.
28:55He's the person every monster is afraid of.
28:58So to lead an army of demons?
29:00I'm going to need the devil.
29:26So you guys are leaving right now?
29:28Yeah, we're going to the Herrero Ranch to stop Z.
29:32I think I'm going to stay here.
29:34What do you mean?
29:35Well, this town needs a marshal.
29:37And I'm having fun.
29:42Also, I brought you this for the road.
29:47Since you're an animal lover, it's just potatoes.
29:57I'm really sorry for what I said earlier.
29:59I'm not your father.
30:01I'm sorry I lied.
30:02Why'd you do that?
30:04To bug the shit out of Luke?
30:05That's the official version.
30:07And also because I loved your mother.
30:10I would have loved to have had a daughter like you.
30:12The family.
30:20You miss your brothers?
30:26You're really like your mom, you know.
30:29Way too smart for me.
30:33Your mom and I were never together.
30:36She just taught me to read.
30:38I was crazy about her, but her heart was already taken.
30:41I know, I saw.
30:42You saw?
30:46You mean in the dream world?
30:48You sneaky little girl.
30:50You didn't say anything.
30:52You actually could be my daughter.
30:58Do you think he's my dad?
31:01Why don't you talk about it once and for all?
31:03I don't know.
31:04I mean, we have so many things to take care of.
31:07A few emergencies.
31:09The U.S. to save.
31:10Ah, cowardice.
31:11The fear of knowing the truth.
31:12Now that's just like Luke.
31:19Whoa!
31:21I didn't touch them.
31:23Yes, you did touch them.
31:24No, no, no.
31:25Yes, you did touch them.
31:26You did.
31:28So I'm sentencing you.
31:29Joe.
31:29To touch them over and over until you find the best apples for your grandson's apple pie.
31:35Go ahead.
31:37Go ahead, yeah.
31:40Touch all you want.
31:43Oh.
31:51Eh, or something?
31:51No, no.
31:51Oh.
31:52Oh.
32:12Yes.
32:30Are you okay, Luis?
32:32Z's conspiracy is about Abraham Lincoln.
32:36He arrived in New Mexico today.
32:42She wants to kill the President of the United States.
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