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Outcome (2026) [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
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00:00:20The End
00:00:42a little treat for you tonight my first guest is a young man and when i say young man i
00:00:46mean
00:00:46a young man he's landed the lead role in an nbc pilot and he won that audition with a song
00:00:51and
00:00:51dance routine and we thought he did it so well that you might like to meet him tonight would
00:00:54you welcome reef hawk
00:00:56you might reach us to broadway remember me to hero square
00:01:13get along the gang in 42nd street then i will soon be there
00:01:21whisper a poem yearning to mingle with the old time throng
00:01:30give my regards to old broadway and tell them i'll be there alone
00:01:39so
00:01:43so
00:01:46so
00:01:53so
00:01:55so
00:01:57so
00:02:11so
00:02:36reef hawk for the last four decades america's favorite movie star
00:02:40what an unbelievable career you've had starring in three of the biggest franchises in film
00:02:46history winning two oscars in this fall you'll shoot the biggest movie you've ever made you've
00:02:52had five years off to reflect is that what you're gonna say reflect i mean how are you gonna frame
00:02:59the five years the five years thing also i should literally be a famous ass interviewer even when i'm fake
00:03:04interviewing i'm like incredible at it incredible thank you so what are you gonna
00:03:08say about the five years well i was thinking i was gonna say i've been working since i was six
00:03:16and needed a break and that i needed to find out who i was away from all this i love
00:03:24that that works totally i won't say that i was hiding a heroin addiction
00:03:29from the public and that my best friends from high school and my insane lawyer helped me cover
00:03:36it up for years so no one ever found out that is a really smart omission strong omission no admish
00:03:42you're gonna be amazing babe you got this yeah i'm very lucky to have you too and thank you both
00:03:48for being here and thank you for helping me yeah babe now get out there and tap dance for mommy
00:03:54yeah that's it two minutes all right look before we get started i just gotta say this is a career
00:04:02highlight for me you tom cruise denzel you're my favorite actors of all time thanks so look first
00:04:09we're gonna start off with the box office records and uh what do you mind i don't know if anyone
00:04:15talked to you but um oh my god oh my god no he's asking about the oscar i know i
00:04:22can tell when you
00:04:23introduce me would you mind not forgetting to say two-time oscar winner before you say reef hawk
00:04:31of course i was planning on doing that anyway i thought it was something serious of course man
00:04:34yeah i mean i would i would never even say it it's just that sometimes people forget who forgets
00:04:42you are the most beloved movie star in the world i'm just honored to have you on the show this
00:04:48is
00:04:48time to be a cakewalk for you oh thanks man hi how are you we're reef's best friends from high
00:04:55school
00:04:55but like we have our own lives too just here's supporting you listen you are so fucking charming
00:05:03yeah uh enough of that i don't want to fan out too much uh you ready yeah let's go for
00:05:08it all right
00:05:08let's go for it all right let's try one we'll get one going all right here we go three two
00:05:12one
00:05:12tonight i'm interviewing somebody i never thought i would interview i'm talking about a legend an
00:05:19icon what is there even to say reef hawk is in the house welcome oh wait sorry i messed up
00:05:27i left out
00:05:28the oscar part i'm sorry guys gotta do it again no no we're leaving this in no no we are
00:05:33not starting
00:05:34over people at home need to see this let me tell you right now if i'm ever the kind of
00:05:40out-of-touch
00:05:40jerk who needs to restart an intro because you didn't mention an award brother we got way bigger
00:05:50problems i'm in my man well that's why the world loves you man the real reef hawk that's amazing
00:05:56reef hawk are you ready we're already started yes we are
00:06:04babe babe i know you love mopping with the crew but we're gonna hit crazy traffic if we don't get
00:06:09out
00:06:09of here what's mopping mlp man of the peopling it's actually pretty fucking funny thanks yeah we
00:06:17should get going uh can i talk to you guys for a second yeah hey guys thanks so much
00:06:23uh did anyone else see the silver fox eye fucking me i am so serious it was so blatant and
00:06:29out in the
00:06:29open i almost want to like write an op-ed but i like that reef what are you doing well
00:06:35we don't
00:06:37know those guys they could literally go online and say that i was like being fake or mopping or
00:06:42whatever insult you just said and then people will think that i'm like that okay so so that would be
00:06:50like a fucking disaster reef chill out yeah dude dude take a deep breath okay
00:06:59it's just it's just
00:07:05it's just that you're always being watched these days and observed yeah everywhere yeah yeah it's
00:07:13really weird it's really weird it's really weird okay it's okay yeah look at this is like a really
00:07:21stressful situation for you so just take a deep breath okay i'm sorry okay i was just being dumb
00:07:28and trying to be funny and no i'm sorry no please a lot of anxiety of course my bad you
00:07:35don't have to
00:07:36come on oh come on you love us i love you guys i love you by the way you are
00:07:43amazing oh my gosh he is a fan
00:07:45yeah oh
00:07:54shit
00:08:00hello
00:08:00bubby it's ira we got a big fucking problem it's fucked up it's really fucked up it's a total
00:08:05fucking nightmare i'll be over at 10 30 a.m tomorrow i'll have my assistant text your assistant
00:08:09my breakfast order beg her not to fuck it up for me
00:08:17do i have shit on my face yes i do yes oh my god it's fucking embarrassing ira tell me
00:08:24what the fuck
00:08:24is going on what is your video oh jesus fucking christ what's on it i have no idea i thought
00:08:30you
00:08:31buried everything that needed to be buried without it getting out to the public when i got sober five
00:08:36years ago i changed my life and thank god you did since you've been out of the game everything's
00:08:41changed but for the record you are the goat the true goat bubby you were the best to ever do
00:08:46it
00:08:46i swear to god i hate to say it but it's nice to be back on the fucking court with
00:08:50you
00:08:50we used to be out here in these streets smashing fucking concrete getting our hands dirty
00:08:55hollywood was our goddamn glory hall these kids today they don't know how we used to do it you
00:08:59me warwick little chuckie sheen stephen hawking you know the original pussy posse you boys kept
00:09:04me busy didn't you can't you just make this go away like you always used to i can't bubby
00:09:10the internet changed everything i know you panicked and we used to get this shit wrapped
00:09:13up with a briefcase of cash in a day or two it ain't like that anymore you can text me
00:09:19or call
00:09:19me 24 hours a day just like the old days except for tuesdays from 3 p.m till about 10
00:09:25p.m what's
00:09:26on tuesdays personal shit don't worry about it oh what huh are you okay
00:09:35do i have to be in here can i just wait till you're done bubby i'm on a massive time
00:09:40crunch
00:09:41by the way i love this gay wallpaper thanks and about all the art in the house very colorful
00:09:47very gay and classy look bubby there are some steps we can take in the meantime while we're
00:09:52waiting this out but i need you to be completely honest with me there are no more secrets between
00:09:57us look into my eyes do not break eye contact with me bubby have you ever killed someone no ira
00:10:02i never
00:10:03killed someone i can't wipe my ass with this just performative i'm a good person environmental
00:10:09toilet paper what's your assistant's name sammy sammy yeah oh come in here can you go into the
00:10:14master and bring the toilet paper here the good toilet paper the good toilet paper yeah and bubby
00:10:20just real quick it's primary not master what thread count is it sorry i don't know ira it's scott
00:10:26from the store toss it let me see jesus christ smells like um like earring backs in here yes that
00:10:35means you're healthy yeah yeah what the fuck cover your mouth it's disgusting you get germs besides the
00:10:43health stuff it's so rude i'm sorry aside from me getting sick it's rude because those particles fly
00:10:50into my nose and that do you can send me actually this is fucked up to say i kind of
00:10:53like this turn
00:10:54around bubby eye contact come closer have you ever killed someone no ira okay bubby i'm not a judgy
00:11:03person i'm more of a you do you i'm a go ahead and do me girl ira i have never
00:11:10killed someone
00:11:17you're making me uncomfortable with your anger and i think that's something we should look at
00:11:24you can have at the scraps i'm sorry what you can have at the scraps that's really nice of you
00:11:32ira thank
00:11:33you you know she's actually great yeah i like her next have you ever watched anyone be killed no
00:11:38have you ever paid someone to kill someone no have you ever fucked a dead person no has a dead
00:11:42person ever fucked you no how does that even work let's just say it starts with mel gibson and a
00:11:47whole lot of paupers and ends two decks over with a 10 a.m mate and now it's breakfast you
00:11:50do the math
00:11:50gorgeous just to be clear you're saying how a corpse fucks a human being is that mel gibson takes
00:11:58paupers you're saying that you're saying that i would never betray a client like that and i'm offended
00:12:02you would even suggest it i would lose my license to practice law in the state of california if i
00:12:06did
00:12:06but just between us it's pretty fucked up actually they partied with the guy like he was alive all
00:12:12weekend they actually made a cute little picture about it weekend at bernie's yes weekend at bernie's
00:12:17bubby you're hysterical you've gotten funnier i need to know everyone who hates you uh who hates me
00:12:27fuck my first manager from when i was a kid probably good right the guy who represents kid
00:12:36actors and works out of the bowling alley who else my old on and off ex-girlfriend savannah
00:12:42okay and who else that's it
00:12:51who hates him uh what who hates him well off the top of my head
00:12:59your old manager your old trainer your new trainer your old pool guy your old old pool guys your mom
00:13:04who hates you uh those three shelter dogs that you got when you were lonely and then returned when
00:13:10you realized like they don't wipe their own asses and i sure as fuck wasn't gonna do it um
00:13:13your old boxing coach your old tennis instructor your ex and i have like a separate list for like
00:13:18directors actors costume designers hair makeup people craft service whatever like executives that
00:13:22you've worked with if you want me to start on that jesus christ sorry can i just say something
00:13:28my old trainer doesn't hate me because he passed away
00:13:34okay i'm just saying hey i believe you pal i really do that's that's awesome
00:13:42you need to go see these people and apologize to them make it right with them and without them
00:13:47realizing it feel out if they're the ones behind the video i don't know if i can do that ira
00:13:52that's way too intense bubby you don't have to mean it you just have to go through the motions
00:13:57of apologizing to save your ass all right bubby i gotta get going tom hanks body slammed his
00:14:02housekeeper it's not as bad as it sounds they were just roughhousing but she's in her 70s
00:14:06shouldn't be horsing around like that so i should get over to cedars and make sure shit's kosher
00:14:10by the way incredible crushed ice at cedars i'll let you know if i hear anything
00:14:17so
00:14:44My assistant said all of these people don't like me.
00:14:47Was I an asshole?
00:14:56Was I an asshole?
00:15:18Once I was a asshole...
00:15:18...and supported one another.
00:15:19We have always known the person that was in there.
00:15:22Yeah.
00:15:22And go easy on yourself.
00:15:24You were literally on drugs.
00:15:26It's way easier to support you now that you're sober.
00:15:28At least we don't have to come grab you out of that creepy doll store you used to buy heroin
00:15:33at downtown.
00:15:35You know how many empty, naked baby dolls I had to explain to the housekeeper?
00:15:39I had to look up in Spanish.
00:15:40Don't worry, Maria. It's no for sexual. It's for drug.
00:15:44By the way, zero parking at the heroin doll store downtown.
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:54It got bad.
00:15:56It got really scary.
00:15:59I don't ever want to see that look in your eye again.
00:16:04You never will.
00:16:06So let's do what Ira says.
00:16:08Make the apologies and find out who's extorting you.
00:16:11He always gets you out of this stuff.
00:16:13It's going to be so fun.
00:16:14I'm already putting together a playlist for the Apologies slash Who's Extorting Reef Tour.
00:16:18Hey, Siri, whip me up a playlist for a middle-aged man in an extreme state of crisis.
00:16:24But keep it fun and slutty.
00:16:26And skinny.
00:16:49I will say, I kind of hate extortion, but the upside is that we all get to drive around
00:16:54together like the dumb sluts we used to be in high school.
00:16:56And I am obsessed with that part of extortion.
00:17:00What I really enjoy about it is that we get to be here with you, Reef, and guess what
00:17:04else I brought with me?
00:17:07Oh, M.G.
00:17:08Are we going to smoke?
00:17:09We're not going to smoke.
00:17:10We're 120, okay?
00:17:13We're going to fake smoke.
00:17:15I cannot believe kids vape these days.
00:17:17They are so gay.
00:17:18They're so lame.
00:17:20If I saw a kid vaping, I'd literally run over to him, push him over, and be like, nice
00:17:24look, virgin.
00:17:29They're literally an oral fedora.
00:17:31Fuck.
00:17:32I haven't seen this guy in like 30 years, and now I'm going to be late to apologize, and
00:17:36I'm going to look like even more of an asshole.
00:17:38I've always said, it's not an amends unless you power top it.
00:17:42Just get in there and just dumb it out, babe.
00:17:45I love outlandish humor with my friends.
00:17:50You know, kid, I found this guy Reef over at Oakwoods, same as you, and I signed him at
00:17:57this booth, same as you.
00:17:59Right here at this booth.
00:18:01Reef, can't wait to work with you.
00:18:03I know our schedules will wind up one of these days.
00:18:06Can you imagine them letting us two silverbacks pound our chest in the same cage?
00:18:11I'd sit down and order a salad.
00:18:13I've got a 4.30 callback for that Valtrex commercial.
00:18:15Valtrex?
00:18:16Yeah, I'm ready for the grandson of the woman who has gentle to herpes.
00:18:18It's actually quite a complex character.
00:18:20I love that.
00:18:21Is Ellen casting it?
00:18:22Yep.
00:18:22Ellen's such a sweet girl.
00:18:24I know she is.
00:18:25And we love her.
00:18:26Aw, fuck me.
00:18:27I'm late.
00:18:28Beautiful day, guys.
00:18:29Okay, hey, knock them dead, will you?
00:18:31Always will, and will do.
00:18:34Wow.
00:18:40Quit cigs.
00:18:4116 days now.
00:18:43Sorry.
00:18:44That's awesome, Red.
00:18:45Yes.
00:18:46Red Rodriguez.
00:18:48Manager to the stars.
00:18:50Always bet on Red, baby.
00:18:52Yeah.
00:18:54Still out here hustling.
00:19:01Red.
00:19:04I came here to apologize to you.
00:19:10Can I ask you something, Reeve?
00:19:12Of course.
00:19:15What are you sorry for?
00:19:18I'm really sorry.
00:19:19I fired you.
00:19:27You know, I remember when I met you by the pool, and you had no front teeth, you know?
00:19:33It was so fucking adorable.
00:19:37You were really there for me at that time.
00:19:40I was.
00:19:41I was.
00:19:43But you had this fucking light in you.
00:19:46You'd light up my days.
00:19:48And I'm not just talking about the work.
00:19:49The work was always bringing.
00:19:51But you.
00:19:53And you started getting jobs.
00:19:57And there he is.
00:20:00There he is.
00:20:02And I was fucking proud, I gotta tell you.
00:20:04Not just because I'm a manager, but, you know, it was almost as if it was me.
00:20:10In a way, I was so proud.
00:20:13And then you start running around in Hollywood, and you're getting some big parts of movies.
00:20:17You're hitting the clubs.
00:20:18You're getting some pussy.
00:20:19I'm getting nervous.
00:20:21Not just because I don't want you to get in trouble for your career.
00:20:25But I'm worried about you getting in trouble for you.
00:20:29And I hear things.
00:20:31I mean, weed and all that, I know, okay.
00:20:33But I hear the hardest stuff.
00:20:36The hardest stuff.
00:20:37And, um, I didn't know how to handle it.
00:20:40You know?
00:20:41I did the best I could at that time.
00:20:45I wanted to smack the shit out of you.
00:20:48But I still worked, Gene.
00:20:49Really, honestly, I didn't know what my role was.
00:20:53You know?
00:20:54In that whole thing.
00:20:55I just didn't know.
00:20:58Maybe I handled it right.
00:21:00Maybe I did the right thing.
00:21:04Maybe I didn't.
00:21:07I really don't know.
00:21:08I don't know what's right or wrong in this situation.
00:21:12Anyway.
00:21:13Look, I didn't expect you to stay.
00:21:14I didn't expect that.
00:21:15I know.
00:21:16I know I'm a joke to you guys now.
00:21:18The bowling alley.
00:21:19The roulette wheel.
00:21:20I know who the fuck I am.
00:21:23I know what the fuck I am.
00:21:25Which is, I'm the guy you leave if I do my job right.
00:21:31Okay?
00:21:31I know that.
00:21:32It's all right.
00:21:37I loved all you crazy little cocksuckers.
00:21:39I really did.
00:21:40But you were different.
00:21:41You see, you were different.
00:21:42You were like...
00:21:44You were like family to me.
00:21:47Yeah.
00:21:52Yeah.
00:21:55And you know, what gets me is that not one of you guys ever picked up the phone.
00:22:01Not one.
00:22:03Every time with you guys, the last time we spoke was the last time we spoke.
00:22:09I mean, all I ever wanted was to pick up the phone and hear...
00:22:13Hey, Red.
00:22:21Could have called me.
00:22:27I don't have your number.
00:22:50I just want to see.
00:22:52I'm a big fan.
00:22:54I appreciate that.
00:22:55Yeah.
00:22:56Mate, you're right back in Hawk.
00:22:58Are you fucking serious?
00:22:59There was a period where I did not speak to myself for three years.
00:23:03Eleven years ago in Sydney.
00:23:06I chucked it in the dumper because she was on the blog.
00:23:08Aside from my feelings on the film, technically, it's astonishing.
00:23:12Honestly, mate.
00:23:12I feel like you chucked it in my dumper.
00:23:14So, actually...
00:23:22Hey, pal.
00:23:23Excuse me.
00:23:24Yo.
00:23:25I don't want to interrupt you.
00:23:26I never do this.
00:23:27I'm a big fan.
00:23:28I'm not here to blow you up or bug you.
00:23:30I just want to tell you, I'm running this for a while.
00:23:33Wanted to introduce myself.
00:23:36Brief.
00:23:36Yeah, I know, I know.
00:23:38I'm Buddy.
00:23:40I'm everybody's Buddy.
00:23:42We're having some people over today.
00:23:44If we make noise, some rap music or something, just tell me.
00:23:46We've got tons of food, we're going to have some slubs.
00:23:49Cool.
00:23:49Awesome.
00:23:50Hon, the McLaren's taking up both spots and UD's pulling up from Nobu.
00:23:54I'll take care of it.
00:23:55Honey, get off your feet.
00:23:56You've got to lay down.
00:23:57How many cigarettes did Dr. Crane say I could smoke while pregnant again?
00:23:59Oh, he said zero.
00:24:02Oh, hey, I know you.
00:24:03You dated my grandma.
00:24:06That's Reef.
00:24:07Nice to meet you, Queef.
00:24:12Fucking shit, dude.
00:24:14Having my first kid.
00:24:15Well, congrats.
00:24:17I'm like a kid having a kid.
00:24:19But I'm under 60.
00:24:21That's what they call a Malibu teen dad.
00:24:24Huh.
00:24:25You got kids?
00:24:26Uh, no.
00:24:28Oh, yeah, I read that.
00:24:30Fuck, you're lucky, dude.
00:24:32Just get to party 24-7.
00:24:34I've got to deal with this shit.
00:24:37Anyway, all love, homie.
00:24:39Have a good one.
00:24:41I always do.
00:24:42And I will do.
00:24:46Man's Search for Meaning.
00:24:48It's, like, the most lit Holocaust book.
00:24:50My therapist gave me this one after my parents' divorce.
00:24:53And, like, in a way, the divorce was my family's personal Holocaust.
00:24:57You know?
00:24:58Like, the mistress was Hitler.
00:25:01My mom was, like, Jesse Jackson, that black guy that won that medal because he ran really fast.
00:25:06Jesse Owens.
00:25:07Jesse Owens.
00:25:08And I was, like, Anne Frank.
00:25:10You know, because I was, like, hiding from my shame.
00:25:13This book taught me, like, not to hide anymore.
00:25:15And I don't think you should either.
00:25:16So, I'm giving this to you.
00:25:18It would be good for you.
00:25:20Excuse me.
00:25:21Oh, yeah, I'm gonna give you some privacy.
00:25:24Ira, what's happening?
00:25:25Fuck, Bubby, I'm so glad I caught you.
00:25:27Holy shit.
00:25:27What is it?
00:25:28Did you see a pair of sunglasses after I left your house?
00:25:29I'm, like, fucked up looking for them.
00:25:31They're Chanel.
00:25:32Ira, are you fucking kidding me?
00:25:33No, no, I know.
00:25:34I never splurge like that.
00:25:35Ira, you scared the shit out of me.
00:25:37I thought something had leaked or something fucked had happened with the video.
00:25:40Oh, shit, did something happen?
00:25:41I'm asking you.
00:25:42Are you fucking serious?
00:25:44Bubby, I'm fucking with you.
00:25:46But for real, though, shit is not going well.
00:25:47I got nothing on my side.
00:25:49You gotta keep apologizing to people, all right?
00:25:51Oh, hey, Bubby.
00:25:52Sorry if I sound distracted.
00:25:53I'm getting an IV trip right now.
00:25:55I'm also doing couples therapy and playing chess.
00:25:57I'll call you back when I hear something.
00:26:01So, do you, like, want me to pretend that I don't know what's going on to, like, make things easier
00:26:08for you, or what?
00:26:11Let me think on it.
00:26:12I may just want to pretend things are not insane with one person in my life.
00:26:17Sure.
00:26:18Hey.
00:26:18What extortion?
00:26:22Thanks, Emi.
00:26:25It's been so long, Mom.
00:26:29It has.
00:26:32I have a lot to, uh...
00:26:37Apologize to you for.
00:26:39For starters, I was often very rude about you participating in this kind of entertainment.
00:26:50I'm sorry for that.
00:26:56Fuck.
00:26:57Sorry.
00:26:58Can we try that one more time, hon?
00:27:00The label wasn't cheated towards camera.
00:27:02And that was such a great fucking emotional moment.
00:27:04I'm so fucking touched.
00:27:05Genuinely.
00:27:06I just have to be sure it's usable because my content partners need it.
00:27:10Sometimes you gotta tickle their balls so Mommy can get her beak wet.
00:27:14My son may be a star, but I'm a whole damn planet.
00:27:21This is so triggering and fucked up for so many reasons I can't even begin to tell you.
00:27:27Didn't you come here to apologize to me?
00:27:29Yeah.
00:27:30And you'd only receive the apology if we did it on the show, which makes my skin crawl that you're
00:27:35even on in the first place.
00:27:37Okay, we'll get to that in one second, you pretentious little fuck.
00:27:40But for starters, you showed up, didn't you?
00:27:44You're a little truffle-sipping fame piggy, just like Mommy.
00:27:47I wanted to please you.
00:27:49I became famous to please you.
00:27:52I supported your career, day in and day out, for nine years of my life.
00:27:57I wanted a parent, not a business collaborator.
00:28:00When you were a little kid, you begged me every day to be on TV.
00:28:04Begged me.
00:28:05I'm talking tantrums.
00:28:07Days-long tantrums.
00:28:09Fits.
00:28:09Making scenes.
00:28:10Screaming.
00:28:11Carrying on.
00:28:12I didn't know what to do.
00:28:14I was 25 and you were six.
00:28:17So I moved us across the country.
00:28:19Away from your father, my husband.
00:28:22Away from my parents, my support system.
00:28:26Into a shitty little month-to-month in the valley so I could take you to auditions every day.
00:28:33You were my focus.
00:28:35Your father left us.
00:28:37Not just you.
00:28:38He left me, too.
00:28:39I sacrificed my marriage.
00:28:43Who were you sacrificing anything for when you were 25, Reef?
00:28:48But then something amazing happened.
00:28:51Your fucking dreams came true.
00:28:54And I went from being a little nobody in the middle of nowhere
00:28:58to suddenly my son singing and dancing on The Tonight Show.
00:29:03You became a big famous actor.
00:29:06You got everything you ever wanted.
00:29:10Mom.
00:29:13I was a kid.
00:29:16Kids don't know what they want.
00:29:20Kids want to be astronauts.
00:29:22Yeah, and some of them actually do become astronauts.
00:29:26The ones whose dreams are supported by their mothers.
00:29:29Mom, I felt used and exploited.
00:29:31You stopped seeing me when I got on this show.
00:29:37You stopped talking to me.
00:29:40Your fucking mother.
00:29:51You're right.
00:29:54You're right.
00:29:57I'm sorry.
00:30:01That's not okay.
00:30:08Can we take that from after you're right?
00:30:10But before, sorry, that's not okay.
00:30:12I want to get a different reaction on my side.
00:30:15Jesus fucking Christ.
00:30:18You see?
00:30:19What?
00:30:20You even take a moment like that and make it for the show.
00:30:24You make it for show.
00:30:26I was actually feeling in that moment.
00:30:29I didn't say anything about your take.
00:30:31I bought it.
00:30:33Your delivery was very strong.
00:30:35I just wanted one where I cry and one where I don't on my side.
00:30:39So the editor will have options.
00:30:42What even is an apology, Reef?
00:30:44Is it for you?
00:30:45Is it for me?
00:30:48Isn't an apology just a show also?
00:30:51This was such a fucked idea.
00:30:54You are such a scorched unit.
00:30:56Not everything is one thing, Reef.
00:31:00Yes, I want to be great on this show, but I mean everything that was in this conversation.
00:31:04Just because the cameras are rolling doesn't mean it's not real.
00:31:08Just because it's performative doesn't mean that it's not the truth.
00:31:12Why can't it be both?
00:31:14You and I see things so fucking differently, Reef.
00:31:18Reef, I've accepted that.
00:31:21I hope you can too one day.
00:31:24I'm not trying to change you.
00:31:27So don't try and change me.
00:31:36Kyle, your abstinence dog is out here.
00:31:39Do you want me to let him in or do you a favor and put it down so someone will
00:31:43date you?
00:31:44Just put it under the window over there, guys.
00:31:46Thanks.
00:31:48I should not be lifting this couch right now.
00:31:50I have been so nauseous today.
00:31:53Babe, maybe you're pregnant.
00:31:55Is that unhoused gentleman outside of general nutrition that you've been romantically intertwined with not been using contraception?
00:32:03Babe?
00:32:04Yeah?
00:32:05I'm as at risk of getting pregnant as you are.
00:32:08Because you're old?
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:09That's the meaning of that bit.
00:32:11Okay, just making sure you understood the math of it.
00:32:12Oh, you know, I got it.
00:32:14Thanks.
00:32:15And Reef?
00:32:16Like, I know you can't handle any of the housewife stuff, but like, your mom is so fucking major and
00:32:21iconic.
00:32:21Like, what was she wearing?
00:32:23I need details.
00:32:24Babe, lay off the mom's stuff, okay?
00:32:26Even though we're all dying to know what she was wearing.
00:32:28No, it's okay.
00:32:29But it's not her.
00:32:31It's not her.
00:32:37Okay.
00:32:55Hello?
00:32:56Be in my office.
00:32:57One hour.
00:32:57I got the fucking dream team assembled for you, baby.
00:33:00One hour.
00:33:00Be here.
00:33:06Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because I have assembled the greatest group
00:33:10ever to protect our boy, Reef Hawk, and bathe him in the waters of our combined genius.
00:33:16Nothing?
00:33:18Prince?
00:33:20Whatever.
00:33:21Reef, I would now like to introduce you to your new crisis team, or as I call them,
00:33:26the Reef Unit.
00:33:30Didn't land.
00:33:31Okay.
00:33:32Tough room.
00:33:33I will start with one of the greatest to ever do it.
00:33:35One of the world's best renown lawyers, the most legendary advocate for women whose rights
00:33:43have been violated.
00:33:44Her legal reach is wide and long, and my man, you know, she doesn't mind not.
00:33:50I arrived.
00:33:51Ladies and gentlemen, Virginia Allen, I've been green.
00:33:58Reef, it's nice to meet you.
00:33:59Don't you represent women who are victims of terrible men?
00:34:04Not if I hire her first.
00:34:05I'm not.
00:34:06I didn't like...
00:34:07Oh, I know.
00:34:08Oh, we know.
00:34:09Bobby, we know.
00:34:10I wouldn't have accepted this if I thought this was a me too type of thing.
00:34:15What if it is?
00:34:17It's not.
00:34:17We know.
00:34:18I know.
00:34:19I know.
00:34:19She knows.
00:34:20I know.
00:34:20She knows.
00:34:21We know.
00:34:21We know.
00:34:22We know.
00:34:23I, of course, know.
00:34:24What if it is?
00:34:25You're going to want Virginia here, Bobby.
00:34:27Speaking of, I would now like to introduce you to the third in our three tenors of naughtiness.
00:34:34Ladies and gentlemen, the sultan of social justice, the rabbi of race relations.
00:34:44He's bringing sexy back to the civil rights movement.
00:34:49I would.
00:34:50He's been preaching since the same street and boys is so tired.
00:34:54The reverend Leandrus Carter!
00:34:59Shut the fuck up, Ira.
00:35:00Oh, you still swear about last time we worked together?
00:35:02Yeah, because you completely ruined the entire thing and embarrassed the shit out of me and
00:35:06my client.
00:35:06Here we go again.
00:35:07Did you follow the Jesse Smollett thing?
00:35:09Uh, the two racist guys beat up the black actor and it ended up being set up by him.
00:35:14Leon and I came up with that at lunch one day.
00:35:15It was a killer idea.
00:35:17We pitched it around town and Jesse was the most passionate about the project.
00:35:20Sometimes these things are reverse engineered where the idea comes before the talent.
00:35:23You know, like when a movie studio has a franchise but they don't have a star attached.
00:35:26Then tell them what happened, Ira.
00:35:27You're such a fucking hypocrite, Leon.
00:35:29You're one of my best friends.
00:35:30I love you more than life itself.
00:35:31But you're a hypocrite.
00:35:32You're always on me about hiring more black people.
00:35:34So, I hired two black guys to beat up Jesse.
00:35:37This is me growing with elegance and all of a sudden, I'm the asshole.
00:35:41You hired two black guys to play white supremacists to commit a hate crime against a black guy.
00:35:45You stupid motherfucker.
00:35:46It's impossible to keep up.
00:35:47Hire black guys.
00:35:48Don't hire black guys.
00:35:49Make up your mind.
00:35:50I shouldn't have to explain this one.
00:35:52You're acting like I didn't even post a black square a couple years ago.
00:35:55You saw that.
00:35:56I storied it.
00:35:57It wasn't on my permanent grid, but I storied the black square.
00:36:01I obviously know who you are and I'm a fan, Reverend.
00:36:05But why is he on our team?
00:36:08Oh, I pray to God you didn't say the word on that video.
00:36:12What?
00:36:13No.
00:36:13I would never.
00:36:15Oh, I know.
00:36:15We know.
00:36:16We know.
00:36:16We know.
00:36:17I know.
00:36:18He knows.
00:36:18We know.
00:36:19Of course we know.
00:36:20We know, brother.
00:36:21But if you did, I will smack the livid shit out of you.
00:36:26And then, we're going to hold hands and walk through the fire together.
00:36:31My brother.
00:36:32I'm not a racist.
00:36:34Reef, while we totally believe you aren't racist, we do know for a fact you have done racist things,
00:36:42which is very common, except in your position, it's incredibly dangerous.
00:36:47I'm Eunice Kim.
00:36:48I'm a lawyer and activist.
00:36:49I'm here because I famously started the hashtag, Stop Imitating Asian People.
00:36:53I did, by the way.
00:36:55We noticed.
00:36:55Thank you for doing that.
00:36:56No, thank you.
00:36:57Reef, do you recall a scene from a, Jesus, I hate to call it a film, a thing you were
00:37:03in
00:37:04called Titty School Six, Let's Get Tittarted in here?
00:37:08An 80s low-budget teen comedy, Ira Buried When You Got Famous?
00:37:12We think someone may have found it.
00:37:14Do you recall a scene from this film in which your character, Israel Boner Shartstein,
00:37:19is tasked with breaking into the girls' sorority to steal their bras and panties?
00:37:23And in order to pull off this caper, you, as your character, dress up as a geisha to sneak
00:37:28into the sorority?
00:37:29We think someone may be framing this scene in a modern context to use it to cancel you
00:37:34for being racist against Asian people.
00:37:37It was a scene in a stupid movie.
00:37:39It wasn't me.
00:37:39It was a character in a movie.
00:37:41Doesn't matter.
00:37:42Hey, wait, where's Moshe from the anti-Semitism committee?
00:37:44We ran the numbers.
00:37:45It turns out that hating Jews doesn't negatively affect a person's career.
00:37:49In fact, it could even help.
00:37:53That sounds like a freak-o-acid trick.
00:37:55So you go through every hypothetical fucked-up thing you may have ever done in your entire
00:37:59life?
00:38:00Yeah.
00:38:00If we broke down my text in my dry cleaner on Tuesday, I'd never work again.
00:38:03I mean, it felt like fire against my skin the whole entire time.
00:38:07I hate that you're being put through this.
00:38:09I just hate it when you're sad.
00:38:12You know, I was thinking about when you got clean, how you never did AA or any other program
00:38:17like that because you were just like so worried that people were going to recognize you and
00:38:22out that you had a problem and how that would, you know, affect your image, of course.
00:38:27But a big part of all of that is doing the steps, right?
00:38:30Apologizing to the people you hurt.
00:38:32Maybe this whole thing is like the universe's way of making sure that you apologize to the
00:38:38people that were hurt by your addiction, you know?
00:38:43I'm sure there's a lot of people that would appreciate an apology from you.
00:38:49Right, Sander?
00:39:00You're right.
00:39:07Fuck, this is hard.
00:39:13I need to apologize.
00:39:14Apologize.
00:39:20To Savannah.
00:39:27Yeah.
00:39:29I'm going to try and get back before dinner, but thank you.
00:39:32Yeah.
00:39:33Thanks.
00:39:38What the actual fuck?
00:39:40I don't even know what I said.
00:39:41It was like...
00:39:44Why did I...
00:39:47Now I'm a student.
00:39:49Well come here.
00:39:50Well sort of.
00:39:53Yeah.
00:39:56Yeah.
00:40:17Well done.
00:40:22Oh, my God.
00:40:48Oh, my God.
00:40:57Rave.
00:41:00Savannah.
00:41:03Here we are.
00:41:04Dude, you are so annoying.
00:41:07I can hate you or want to kill you or even forget about you,
00:41:11but then you sit here in front of me and you are still the goofy kid
00:41:15lighting fireworks off at the vents behind the mall.
00:41:19Almost going deaf.
00:41:20Jesus, I haven't thought about that in so long.
00:41:24Such a little twerp.
00:41:26Always showing off for everybody, center of attention.
00:41:30But I always liked you in moments like this
00:41:35when it was just us talking.
00:41:38Nobody to show off for.
00:41:47I pulled it off.
00:41:48Photo finish.
00:41:50Don't worry, they're not yours.
00:41:52That's not funny.
00:41:55Gary.
00:41:56Do they have your sense of humor?
00:41:59They're smarter than me.
00:42:01Let's hope they make better choices.
00:42:12I'm really sorry I let you down.
00:42:24How do I put this the right way?
00:42:27I want to use the correct verbiage here
00:42:30and not mince words.
00:42:31I want to use the correct verbiage here and not mince words.
00:42:45I've wasted years of my life on you.
00:42:48With you.
00:42:50And about you.
00:42:52Because it's always about you, Reef.
00:42:57Let me guess.
00:42:58Xander and Kyle haven't been this honest with you
00:43:03about your behavior in these conversations.
00:43:06They never had a problem lying to you.
00:43:08Or for you.
00:43:11Yeah, you don't stick around long
00:43:13with this kind of realness, do you, Reef?
00:43:20But I'm not around anymore.
00:43:24Thank God.
00:43:28Because after the last thing.
00:43:34The last thing that happened.
00:43:40It took finally allowing
00:43:42a good and devoted man to love me
00:43:44to realize that
00:43:47I'm not just a distraction to run to
00:43:49and toy with when you're
00:43:56when you're depressed or
00:43:59lonely or between movies or
00:44:04literally bored.
00:44:06Only to discard when something amazing would happen.
00:44:11No, you're not.
00:44:13Correct.
00:44:25I used to think that telling you
00:44:27all this would make me happy.
00:44:34It doesn't...
00:44:36My family makes me happy.
00:44:40My children make me happy.
00:44:42My family makes me happy.
00:45:04Bubby, I need you to come
00:45:05straight back to my office.
00:45:06I got us a call with the guy.
00:45:07He's ready to negotiate.
00:45:08Same seats.
00:45:09Shit, I gotta run.
00:45:11Adam Driver bought a pet champ
00:45:12and it ripped some lady's face
00:45:13off at the mall.
00:45:13They're cute when you buy them,
00:45:15but then it's like...
00:45:15Wait, Ira.
00:45:30Ira, we have him on the line.
00:45:32All right, this is it.
00:45:32At your stations, okay?
00:45:34Put them through.
00:45:36Hey, Ira.
00:45:36Yo, how's things?
00:45:37All good over here.
00:45:39Just in the office solo,
00:45:40doing a million things.
00:45:41Oh, yeah.
00:45:42By the sound of that speakerphone
00:45:43and the cavernous echo
00:45:44in the conference room,
00:45:45I can tell it's just you in there.
00:45:47Fuck you.
00:45:47What do you got?
00:45:48I'm assuming Virginia and Leandrus
00:45:50and the crew are all in there with you.
00:45:52Hello, all.
00:45:53Nope, wrong again.
00:45:54Okay, Ira.
00:45:56Hey, by the way,
00:45:57I want to say, Reef,
00:45:58if you're there too,
00:45:59which I'm pretty positive that you are,
00:46:02I should legally disclose
00:46:03that I'm your neighbor
00:46:04who's been renting a house next to you
00:46:05for the past few months.
00:46:07What the fuck?
00:46:11Legally disclose.
00:46:12Since when you were sickler for the law?
00:46:14All right, well, you know,
00:46:15not legally, but like homie to homie.
00:46:17I thought I should tell you that.
00:46:19It felt fucked up not to.
00:46:20All right, so what do we got here?
00:46:22Okay, as you know,
00:46:23I can't reveal much,
00:46:25but I have procured a video
00:46:26from a person who wishes to sell it
00:46:28to the highest bidding media outlet.
00:46:30I would like to offer Reef
00:46:31the opportunity to buy it first.
00:46:33How fucking generous of you.
00:46:36All I can tell you about the video is this.
00:46:47He comes.
00:46:54The price is 15 million.
00:46:56The deadline is Tuesday at 10 a.m.
00:46:59Peace.
00:47:04Comes.
00:47:08Comes.
00:47:23This is the actual worst moment of my life.
00:47:27He comes.
00:47:31I accept that.
00:47:33I do, I accept it.
00:47:39But who says cumming is bad, right?
00:47:42I'm in sex positive.
00:47:44Cum makes babies.
00:47:46Babies grow up to be doctors.
00:47:48Doctors heal us when we're ailing.
00:47:49Technically he's right.
00:47:50You know who's made out of cum?
00:47:52She is.
00:47:53I'm not made out of cum.
00:47:55Absolutely are.
00:47:56Even Reef Hawk.
00:47:57Dramatic pause.
00:47:59Not an A idol.
00:48:00Hand prints in the ground
00:48:01German Chinese sidewalk.
00:48:04100% completely cum based.
00:48:06I believe in the profundity of this argument.
00:48:11This young lady here, cum.
00:48:15That felt wrong even as I was saying it.
00:48:17But I urge you to hear me when I say this.
00:48:21None of us in this room would be here without cum.
00:48:26Am I wrong?
00:48:27I'm wrong.
00:48:29Applause.
00:48:31If you want.
00:48:33If you want.
00:48:34If you want.
00:48:39No!
00:48:40Whoa, whoa, Bubby.
00:48:40You don't understand, Ira.
00:48:42You don't understand.
00:48:43I've been so fucking careful!
00:48:45Hey, you're okay.
00:48:46I've never filmed myself.
00:48:48I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:48:49I've been so fucking careful!
00:48:52Why is this happening to me?
00:48:54Hey!
00:48:55Hey!
00:49:01What did you just say?
00:49:06Why is this happening to me?
00:49:08No, before that.
00:49:13I've been so fucking careful.
00:49:15Before that.
00:49:17I've never filmed myself.
00:49:19And I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:49:23I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:49:28What?
00:49:33What is it?
00:49:34You were filmed without your consent.
00:49:40It was non-consensual.
00:49:43Virginia, do you want to explain this?
00:49:45I'd love to.
00:49:46Reef, have you ever heard of victim capitalism?
00:49:51No.
00:49:52When you were growing up, you wanted to be an actor.
00:49:53You wanted to be a gifted artist, and that, in turn, would bring you riches and fame.
00:49:59You were part of the recognition for talent generation.
00:50:02But people got tired of having to work hard and actually be good at something.
00:50:05I do all that work.
00:50:06It's exhausting.
00:50:07And the odds are so terribly low of succeeding.
00:50:10So, here come the Kardashians.
00:50:13The Big Bang happened.
00:50:15The tension culture.
00:50:17And it is huge.
00:50:20Now you don't have to do anything special to be famous.
00:50:22You just have to be.
00:50:23You just have to make enough noise to garner the attention.
00:50:27Any kind of noise.
00:50:28Any kind of attention.
00:50:30And this brings us to the birth of social media.
00:50:33Now anyone with a phone can have it at the push of a button.
00:50:36That sweet, sweet nectar of attention.
00:50:39And then, it was ignited.
00:50:42The spark.
00:50:45Victimhood.
00:50:46The only way you can become rich and famous in this culture is to be a victim.
00:50:53Victim capitalism.
00:50:54The best thing you can be in our modern society is a victim.
00:50:57And you, Reith Huck, are a white, middle-aged, rich, famous, straight movie star who is, indeed, a victim.
00:51:07You're a fucking unicorn.
00:51:09This will be the biggest year of your whole career.
00:51:11I mean, you're going to be a bigger star than ever.
00:51:13You know what we have to do, Reith.
00:51:15We got one move.
00:51:16Live interview.
00:51:18That's right.
00:51:18Live interview cuts him off at the knees.
00:51:21Talking about the video before they have a chance to leak it makes you the victim and gives us all
00:51:25the leverage.
00:51:28God, where are they?
00:51:31We're going to be fucking late.
00:51:34Everything okay?
00:51:35Yeah, yeah.
00:51:37I'm just running a little late, and it's the one day a week I've got to be out by a
00:51:39certain time.
00:51:48Hey, I know that was a lot.
00:51:51Stay with it tonight.
00:51:54Digest it.
00:52:02Ira, you have a really weird job.
00:52:08It's like you just wait for a call that I got in trouble.
00:52:23Bubby, you ever think about why you thought it was okay to get in the kind of trouble you got
00:52:31in for as long as you did?
00:52:35Everybody's a psycho when they're young.
00:52:37I hit myself at number one.
00:52:42But for everybody else in the world, all these people, they can't act like that forever.
00:52:51I had real life hit me like a fucking train.
00:52:57But when my phone rings and it's you, I pick up.
00:53:01I always pick up.
00:53:07There he is.
00:53:09Hey, hey.
00:53:10Sorry, Ira.
00:53:12We hit crazy traffic.
00:53:14No worries.
00:53:15I like babies.
00:53:15So bad.
00:53:16Traffic.
00:53:16Come on.
00:53:16You crazy?
00:53:17Buddy.
00:53:18There he is, my boy.
00:53:19Dad.
00:53:20What, are you too old to kiss your dad?
00:53:22Oh, come on.
00:53:23When you were a baby, I used to kiss your face.
00:53:25I still see you as this little, fat little, chunky little guy.
00:53:30Dad, I hate being late for the Dodgers.
00:53:32Yeah, no, I hate being late.
00:53:33I'm sorry, buddy.
00:53:34But we got to listen to Britney Spears' audio book.
00:53:36And let me just say, she lived a very wild life.
00:53:42She's the best.
00:53:42She sang at your mom and I's wedding.
00:53:44Mm-hmm.
00:53:44Hey, you know who this guy is?
00:53:46Reef Hawk?
00:53:47That's right.
00:53:49OG client of your dads.
00:53:51I always wanted you guys to meet each other, but, uh, Reef is always very busy.
00:53:55So, Reef, do you have a girlfriend?
00:53:58This guy with the girlfriend.
00:53:59Always with the fucking girlfriend.
00:54:01Not right now.
00:54:02Well, same here.
00:54:03We're on the same boat.
00:54:04That's what I tell him.
00:54:05He's got to keep his options open.
00:54:06Yeah, Dad said, got to keep my options open because I'm a handsome guy.
00:54:10Cool and handsome guy.
00:54:11Mm-hmm.
00:54:12Just like Reef.
00:54:14Hey, you guys should be wingmen for each other.
00:54:16Just try and leave some pussy for the rest of us.
00:54:17Shut up, Dad.
00:54:19Dad, what do I always say?
00:54:20Keep your options open.
00:54:22Yes.
00:54:22Never sign anything.
00:54:24Check the Saudi money.
00:54:25Check the Saudi money.
00:54:27Right.
00:54:27Okay.
00:54:28Hey, I'll check in tomorrow.
00:54:32Enjoy the game.
00:54:34See you later, Reef.
00:54:35Nice to meet you.
00:54:36Don't do alcohol.
00:54:37And say not a crack, Reef.
00:54:39Hey, I told you not to tell anybody about that.
00:54:42You're not supposed to repeat that shit.
00:54:43Get in the car, guys.
00:54:44Let's go.
00:54:45Let's go.
00:54:49Let's go.
00:55:15Reese Hawke.
00:55:19Hey.
00:55:20I think I read a couple years ago your dad hung himself, right?
00:55:25It's so funny.
00:55:25I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan.
00:55:27And the main character is a rock star whose mom is on a reality show.
00:55:30And the dad hangs himself.
00:55:33I mean, it's a rock star.
00:55:34It's not a movie star.
00:55:35But it's crazy close, right?
00:55:43Anyway, check it out if you have a flight or something.
00:55:45You can breeze right through it.
00:55:56Can I just say what we're all thinking?
00:55:59A live tell-all interview while pretending to be a victim seems like the actual complete opposite of what you
00:56:08should do.
00:56:08What's the alternative?
00:56:10Give everything up I've worked for my entire life?
00:56:13I have what everyone dreams of.
00:56:15I can't just throw it away.
00:56:23Let's just, like, sell everything and move to Hawaii.
00:56:26Open the smoothie stand or something.
00:56:29Yeah.
00:56:31There we go.
00:56:32I'll open a smoothie stand.
00:56:35What a brilliant idea.
00:56:36You just seem a little off lately.
00:56:39So, look, I just want to make sure that you're...
00:56:42Make sure I'm what?
00:56:45Are you implying that there's something important I'm hiding from you?
00:56:49Reeve, dude, she's just asking you...
00:56:51I know what she's asking.
00:56:53I don't know why it's such a big deal.
00:56:55It's a big fucking deal.
00:56:57Because questioning that is questioning the very core of everything I am the last five years.
00:57:02Everything I've fought and clawed and promised to not be.
00:57:08So, you questioning that isn't just a chill little question.
00:57:13It's calling me a fraud.
00:57:15So, what the fuck are you asking?
00:57:22Don't fucking curse at me, ever.
00:57:26Don't ever talk to me like that, ever.
00:57:31You are under immense pressure and anxiety.
00:57:35So, I am asking you, as somebody who loves you,
00:57:39are you strong in your sobriety?
00:57:41Because you have that look in your eyes you promised I wasn't going to see again.
00:57:47How fucking dare you?
00:57:49How dare I?
00:57:50How dare I?
00:57:52I ask you because I am someone who loves you at times more than you are capable of loving yourself.
00:57:59I ask because I would rather you throw some little bitchy diva movie star tantrum
00:58:04and not be my friend for a month than to walk in on you overdosed again thinking that you were
00:58:11fucking dead.
00:58:13Which you don't even remember but was like the worst moment of my life.
00:58:22Dude, you're a 56-year-old man who might be back on hard drugs.
00:58:27So, what I ask you, it's not because it's fun for me.
00:58:34My sobriety is stronger than fucking steel.
00:58:43And as far as moving to Hawaii and opening a smoothie stand,
00:58:50that might be in the realm of possibility for you.
00:58:53But honestly, Kyle...
00:58:56Yeah?
00:58:57I don't have the patience or the fucking energy
00:58:59to fake being able to relate to your shitty little life today.
00:59:04I live in an existence you literally have no way of understanding.
00:59:12Oh, fuck.
00:59:12You're right.
00:59:15I have no idea.
00:59:17I hope that you do that giant interview
00:59:20and I hope you get more famous and more rich and more attention
00:59:27as it seems to historically serve you super well.
00:59:31And you know what?
00:59:32I love my life, my shitty little life.
00:59:35You know why?
00:59:36I get to be whoever I want to be all the time.
00:59:42I wish you cared about what we thought of you, Reef,
00:59:45more than a bunch of people on the internet.
00:59:50And the next time we do a performative apology tour,
00:59:53throw your two best friends on the list,
00:59:54you sad fucking junkie.
01:00:13Why are you still here?
01:00:18I ordered food and I already paid for it on the app.
01:00:27Why did you stay my friend, Sander?
01:00:38I hate emotions so fucking much.
01:00:48When we were in high school,
01:00:50every other word out of everyone's mouth was faggot,
01:00:52including mine.
01:00:54And one time you slept over in 10th grade
01:00:57and you asked me point blank if I was gay.
01:00:59And I denied it for hours
01:01:01and we got into this big screaming fight
01:01:03and
01:01:06you said to me
01:01:09you said you would not be my friend if I was gay.
01:01:13You would only not be my friend if I was not myself.
01:01:18Because that would be too hard to watch.
01:01:27When you act gross like this,
01:01:29I choose to remember that person.
01:01:59All right.
01:02:02Amen.
01:02:02Amen.
01:02:04Amen.
01:02:06Amen.
01:02:08Amen.
01:02:12Amen.
01:02:14Amen.
01:02:15Amen.
01:03:46It's great to see you too.
01:03:48Thank you for doing this, by the way.
01:03:51I mean, I've been thinking about you a lot lately and how much our lives have paralleled
01:04:00and the things we've been through.
01:04:02So, it's a very, very unique experience.
01:04:07Like when we were kids.
01:04:09It's like, why did we do this and who did we do it for?
01:04:18One minute to live air.
01:04:20You know, it's funny.
01:04:25I didn't like you.
01:04:27Is that funny?
01:04:29You were always so smug, you know, but then when Virginia called me and told me what really
01:04:36is going on and what you are surviving as a victim.
01:04:43I mean, and the fact that you were willing to talk about it and share everything and share
01:04:48it with the world.
01:04:50I mean, you're a hero.
01:04:52And I want to interview that hero.
01:05:05It's going to be great.
01:05:15I'm going to leave.
01:05:17What?
01:05:19I'm going to leave now.
01:05:2130 seconds to live air.
01:05:22Wait, no, no, no.
01:05:22You can't, you can't, you can't.
01:05:23No, no, no.
01:05:24We can talk about other things.
01:05:26I mean, we need to talk about the thing.
01:05:28I just don't want to do this.
01:05:30But you're here.
01:05:31Why would you do that?
01:05:32I'm really sorry.
01:05:33Did I say something?
01:05:34No.
01:05:34But you cannot do this.
01:05:37We're about to go to live TV in how many seconds?
01:05:40Ten seconds live air.
01:05:41What the fuck are you doing, Reeve?
01:05:44God fucking damn it.
01:05:45You fucked me.
01:05:46I will fuck you so hard.
01:05:49I'll fucking go outland on all you motherfuckers.
01:05:52Bobby, hey, it fucking worked.
01:05:54Ira, I'm leaving.
01:05:56No, you don't understand.
01:05:57It worked.
01:05:59What worked?
01:06:00I didn't do the interview.
01:06:01Yeah, no shit.
01:06:02You didn't have to.
01:06:03And I knew that even friending a live interview would force in a hand and it fucking did.
01:06:07It's just some random nobody who found the video on his ex-girlfriend's computer.
01:06:11They caved.
01:06:11I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.
01:06:1635K.
01:06:17And this is all behind you for the rest of your life.
01:06:32I don't know.
01:06:36I don't know.
01:06:36What the fuck do you mean, I don't know?
01:06:38I just wanted all this to go away.
01:06:44And now that it's right here, in front of me...
01:06:52It's just so fucking wrong!
01:06:54I don't know.
01:06:57I don't know.
01:06:58I don't know.
01:07:08It's 35K.
01:07:11It's a fucking forerunner.
01:07:17You pay it.
01:07:21It's the cosmic tax.
01:07:46It's the cosmic tax.
01:07:47It's the cosmic tax.
01:07:50It's the cosmic tax.
01:08:27It's the cosmic tax.
01:08:30Yeah, I guess.
01:08:31I mean, you're Reef Hawk.
01:08:34And you're talking to me like, what?
01:08:37Yeah, I don't know.
01:08:38You're a huge movie star, dude.
01:08:40Like, shouldn't you be at a big party or something?
01:08:43I mean, I've been shooting in Albuquerque for like six months,
01:08:47living in this hotel room.
01:08:52I guess I'm a little lonely or something.
01:08:57That's no good.
01:09:01Don't you have like a wife or kids or a family or something?
01:09:09No.
01:09:12No, I don't.
01:09:15Oh.
01:09:18Why not?
01:09:27I guess when it came time to do that, I always chose something else I thought was bigger or more
01:09:47important.
01:09:55It's really sad.
01:10:06Do you want to see my tits?
01:10:07Sure.
01:10:26Sure.
01:10:27Sure.
01:10:28Sure.
01:10:43You have kind eyes.
01:10:50I just need you for two minutes outside?
01:10:51Yeah.
01:10:52Okay.
01:10:52Great.
01:11:07You know, I thought and fantasize about what I would do or say to you if I ever had the
01:11:14chance.
01:11:25Do you hate me?
01:11:32No, no, I don't, I don't hate you.
01:11:38I love you, man.
01:11:45I'm just broke.
01:11:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:27There aren't words for what you mean to me and the shame I feel for what I put you through.
01:12:49You're my whole life.
01:12:54Yeah.
01:12:58But it's not about me.
01:13:11I'm sorry.
01:13:15I forgive you.
01:13:19I forgive you, too.
01:13:28I'm sorry.
01:13:32Do you need a hug?
01:13:34Yes.
01:13:36I love you, too.
01:13:37I love you, guys.
01:13:39Thank you, Reef.
01:13:40I love you, too.
01:13:49The day I walk down the street I used to wander, Yeah, I scratched my head and lit my cigarette.
01:14:00Well, there was all these things
01:14:02That I don't think I remember
01:14:05Hey, how lucky can't one man get
01:14:12Hello.
01:14:13Hey. Hi.
01:14:16Who's this?
01:14:17It's Reef.
01:14:19Reef?
01:14:21Reef?
01:14:22What can I do for you, Reef?
01:14:24I'm just calling to see how your day is.
01:14:28What do you mean?
01:14:29I mean, how's your day?
01:14:32Like, how are the events of your day?
01:14:35What do you mean, how's my day?
01:14:36How are the events of my day?
01:14:37What does that mean?
01:14:39I'm just asking how your day is.
01:14:41Like, what you did and how it is.
01:14:44The fuck do you mean, how is my day?
01:14:46What do you want, Reef?
01:14:47What's your angle?
01:14:48Red.
01:14:49I'm calling to see how your day is going.
01:14:53Like, how you are.
01:14:55Like, how you're doing.
01:14:58Oh.
01:15:01Oh.
01:15:02Well, thanks.
01:15:04I mean, all I'm doing, I'm just hanging out.
01:15:07That's all I'm doing.
01:15:09Nice.
01:15:11That's awesome.
01:15:13I mean, isn't it, you know, nothing crazy?
01:15:15Same old?
01:15:17Yeah.
01:15:18Yeah.
01:15:19Same.
01:15:20Not a whole lot here today, either.
01:15:25Well, that's nice.
01:15:26That's nice.
01:15:27Today I walk, but down the street I used to wander.
01:15:32Yeah.
01:15:33I shook my hand and made myself a bed.
01:15:38There was all these things that I don't think I remember.
01:15:43Hey, how lucky can one man get.
01:15:49Hey, how lucky can one man get.
01:15:55Hey, how lucky can one man get.
01:16:02Hey, how lucky can one man get.
01:16:02Hey, how lucky can one man get.
01:16:09Hey, how lucky can one man get.
01:16:36girl we got this we got this who are you the second most interesting bitch in this room trust
01:16:45good evening and welcome to the primetime special edition of the drew barrymore show
01:16:52we begin tonight with a gentleman i do not know hi xander alexander huge fan and you soon will
01:17:00be of mine as well so much of your show is about your guests coming on here and unloading on
01:17:05your
01:17:05tits and i just want you to know that today i'm here to take that load for you well let's
01:17:12get the
01:17:12tissues out and do this right now yes first of all i don't know if you know anything about my
01:17:18past
01:17:19but you know et changed my life i actually always thought it was et you know like french never seen
01:17:26it before saw the poster know how relevant it is know how important it is from what i understand
01:17:31it's about you and a bunch of other little kids finding a little old jewish guy and taking him
01:17:35for a ride on a bicycle little ball guy you just put a blanket on him and take him for
01:17:39a ride on a
01:17:39bicycle again i haven't seen it i've only seen call me by your name in the notebook
01:17:48don't know how i did that now wonder where it's gone must spend the way i went waiting for the
01:18:01dawn
01:18:01to shoot the moon right between the eyes i'm screaming take me back to sunny countryside
01:18:16shoot the moon right between the eyes i'm screaming take me back to sunny countryside
01:18:29the clocks and spoons empty rooms it's raining out tonight
01:18:57so
01:18:58i'm
01:19:01so
01:19:03i'm
01:19:04so
01:19:05i'm
01:19:06i'm
01:19:09i'm
01:19:11i'm
01:19:14i'm
01:19:15i'm
01:23:35I'm Reeve Hawk and I got staff in the sauna.
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