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  • 2 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon πŸ’• πŸ’• πŸ’•
Transcript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, Beach!
00:33Whoa!
01:00Filthy scavengers!
01:02When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep,
01:05you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface.
01:09Poseidon?
01:11Fish food ages ago.
01:37Sire, Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier.
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:48Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console?
02:06I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire!
02:10You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else.
02:26Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:29My king!
02:30Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:53What did you do?
02:55Turn me back right now!
03:02Sire!
03:03The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command.
03:05Lead us against Olympus!
03:07We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years.
03:11I'm retired.
03:12I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:21Screw power struggles.
03:22Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:38Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry!
03:40I didn't mean to...
03:42the magic guy's baby's mind is the only one who's been eaten out by Chlamydia.
03:46Pointy ears.
03:47A dryage?
03:48What's a forest nint doing here?
03:54Fire and a forest nint doing here.
03:54He's just a regular human.
03:56A total nerd.
03:57Damn it. The Aphrodisian's kicking in.
04:10You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup.
04:18If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out, I die.
04:22I really need this guy.
04:28Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:40I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder. Squeeze me tighter.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey, I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:10Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Damn it. He tracked me.
05:28Leora. You're my fiancΓ©. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away, Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the satyr, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:48You slept with someone?
05:50Who screwed up my plan?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?!
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:11You actually fucked this beach bomb shut-in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it!
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value. Can't push too hard yet.
06:29I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened. Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?!
07:21Hey, pencil neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan who? Speak up, man. My ears are shot.
07:31Keep acting tough! Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:34Even Nereus' sea folk give him a wide burn.
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants top an orcer?! Who the hell are you?!
08:07Who the hell are you?!
08:18Asshole. Using my divine power to barbecue. Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:24What are you whining about?
08:26Nothing!
08:27Heat's too low. Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:35Molly? Gods make heroes with it, you seasoned food?
08:41Huh. Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:50Mommy, is daddy stationed way out in the deep sea? Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:56Yeah, baby. But he retired recently. We're gonna find him now.
09:09I'm badly wounded. I don't have much time. Find Lily's real father. Leave her with him.
09:16I just hope you two can live in peace.
09:21Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:35There it is.
09:38There it is.
09:54What the hell was that?
09:57Nothing. Just swapped a bug.
10:02That girl from five years ago. You came looking for me?
10:07She's your daughter. We need you now.
10:11So you're my dad? You're actually pretty handsome.
10:16This Aura? She's got my blood.
10:24Who did this?
10:26Don't worry about it. Just keep Lily safe.
10:34Mommy! Mommy!
10:52It's too late, boss. Her heartbeats fading fast.
11:09Somebody help me!
11:24Give me a name, Leora.
11:26Who did this?
11:27I'm going to tear them apart.
11:31It was...
11:52Your father sold you to me a long time ago.
11:55You're my fiancΓ©. My property.
11:57You filthy whore.
11:59Spread your legs for some stray dog!
12:04But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
12:12No! Let go!
12:15With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
12:27I... got careless.
12:30Diving near a shipwreck. My fault.
12:32Shipwreck?
12:34Those cuts are surgical, Leora. Someone did this to you.
12:41You're just a regular guy. Stay out of it.
12:44Boss? Soup's ready.
12:52If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily.
12:57She's all we have left.
12:59She's safe. Now drink.
13:03Soup isn't gonna fix this, Jack.
13:12Jack, you...
13:14Ambrosia residue? Golden apple sap?
13:17I studied this in grad's time.
13:19Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals.
13:22Where the hell did you get this?
13:25More. Try it.
13:37These ingredients, where did you get them?
13:45It's my first time meeting Daddy. I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
14:13What a lively little snack.
14:16Gulp you down and my power doubles!
14:26I just fished this stuff out of the bay.
14:28You want more?
14:30I've got a ton of it laying around.
14:32This guy's luck is insane.
14:36A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
14:41Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
14:44You're safe here, Liria.
14:45Liria.
14:48We've got a kid together now.
14:51I'm not letting anything touch.
14:53You or Lily?
14:56Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
14:58Daddy!
14:59Help!
15:01Something's trying to eat me!
15:05Lily's in trouble!
15:12I...
15:13I...
15:13I'm not tasty!
15:14My mommy and daddy are super strong!
15:17Please don't eat me!
15:18I...
15:20I...
15:21I...
15:23Divine power runs through this girl.
15:26Devour you.
15:27And I might even claim the Sea King's throne.
15:32Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
15:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:52Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
15:53oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:04You disgusting freak.
16:06What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
16:09Mommy.
16:11I've got you, baby.
16:14Touch my kid again, and I'll rip her head off your shoulders.
16:19Ha.
16:19You ruined my meal.
16:23Wait.
16:25The baby mama herself.
16:28Perfect.
16:32Two courses for the price of one.
16:41You bitch.
16:47Jack, take Lily and run.
16:49Go!
16:55Run from the Lycian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
17:06You posei?
17:09That kid's his.
17:11No wonder the power's so pure.
17:14That's Poseidon's bloodline.
17:15If I stay, I'm dead.
17:24What the hell just happened?
17:26It ran?
17:27Damn, Leoya.
17:28Your powers are badass.
17:30You straight up scared the monster off.
17:33Me?
17:33No way.
17:34Even at full strength, I couldn't take that thing.
17:37I'm still recovering.
17:39Wait.
17:40Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
17:44Whatever.
17:45Let's get home.
17:46That thing might circle back.
17:51About that monster.
17:57Failed at the perfect time?
17:59Figures.
17:59He's just a regular guy, after all.
18:30Failed at the perfect time.
18:42My liege.
18:44Have mercy.
18:45I didn't know she was your daughter.
18:46I swear it.
18:47Please, spare my life.
18:49No problem.
18:50Thank you, my lord.
18:51Thank you for your mercy.
18:52Try to remember that in your next life.
19:07Enjoying the show.
19:17My king!
19:18We had nothing to do with the Hydra.
19:20We swear!
19:21Listen to me.
19:22If any of you take one step near my daughter again,
19:26I will skin you alive.
19:28Now, get the fuck out of my sight.
19:31Yes!
19:31Yes, my liege!
19:44My love, since you refused to tell me who did this to you,
19:48I'll just have to dig up the truth myself.
19:58That wild god Pan's always pulling power grabs.
20:02But Poseidon?
20:03Guy's long gone.
20:05Probably fish food in some trench.
20:07Right?
20:07Sea god myth, ancient history.
20:10Wanna bet?
20:10There ain't no sea king anymore.
20:23The world's the same as ever.
20:26The dead are louder than the living.
20:28Who the hell are you?
20:30You're in Hades territory, asshole!
20:32You're in Hades territory, asshole!
20:43Poseidon?
20:53Is Hades still breathing?
20:55If he is, tell him to get his ass out here.
21:02Who the fuck is tearing up my domain?
21:10I don't have time for this.
21:11I'm not wasting it on you.
21:13I need a background check.
21:19You know who I am?
21:21Hades is ace.
21:22You crash my spot, you die here!
21:47Little fish.
21:56Headed staff?
21:57One shot?
21:59The sea king?
22:00He's real.
22:02Hades?
22:04You hiding?
22:05Come out.
22:06Or this whole place turns into driftwood.
22:09One.
22:11Two.
22:15Thank the fates!
22:17The boss is here!
22:22Boss, this bum!
22:30You idiot!
22:31Piss off the Lord of the Oceans and we all drown.
22:34You're done.
22:34Get out.
22:36In front of Poseidon.
22:37Your ants.
22:38I'm saving your worthless heights.
22:45My lord,
22:46is this handling satisfactory?
22:48I'm not here for fun.
22:50Dig up everything on that Leora and her daughter.
22:57Understood.
22:58I'll mobilize every team right now.
22:59You have three days.
23:01I'll be back.
23:05Everyone!
23:06Drop what you're doing!
23:08Full sweep on the Leora and Child!
23:10Every resource, every contact.
23:12Now!
23:13Tell them Poseidon's back!
23:15Yes, boss!
23:22Poseidon's back.
23:23Let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point.
23:33Dylan wants the woman dead.
23:35Kid comes with us alive.
23:37She's still hurt.
23:38Easy pickets.
23:39Let's move.
23:52We'll make a nice stew.
23:53Surprise daddy for lunch?
23:55Ha ha ha ha ha!
24:00Ha ha ha ha!
24:02A forest nymph playing happy home mater?
24:06Pathetic.
24:08Who are you?
24:11Dylan's orders.
24:12Come quietly to the stronghold.
24:15Or I drag your corpse back.
24:17Mommy?
24:19Who's the ugly goat man?
24:21Hand over the kid!
24:25No!
24:30Stay away from my daughter!
24:32Don't you dare touch her!
24:34No!
24:49Mommy, you're bleeding!
24:51This forest is locked down.
24:54Surrender now.
24:56I'll go with you.
24:57On one condition.
24:59Let my daughter go!
25:01No, Mommy!
25:02I'm not leaving you!
25:04No!
25:04I'm not leaving you!
25:10I'm not leaving you!
25:14Kids mine.
25:16You die.
25:19You...
25:20You...
25:20You...
25:21You poisoned me?
25:23My poison fog!
25:25The more you fight,
25:27the faster it rots you from the inside!
25:29give up you've gone too far even if I die today I'm not letting you win
25:38you're wounded poisoned done the kids coming with me
25:47don't touch her come at me feisty one Dylan wants you dead but first I'm gonna
25:55have some fun such a pretty face all mine now
26:10let my mommy go you bastard
26:19Lily Lily run get out of here
26:26serve me well and I might let her run a little longer
26:36Lily
26:48your hands off her
26:59you touch my woman you're a dead man
27:07Jack
27:09what the hell just happened
27:14you okay babe so you're the boyfriend too bad I'll snap every bone in your body with
27:20one hand
27:33now
27:45if I pull this vine the whole cliff goes with us demon
27:50run all you want my pack tears you both apart
28:05you
28:06you
28:06you
28:07you
28:07you
28:07you
28:09No!
28:53Daddy, don't leave Mommy. I don't want to lose her.
28:57Shh, Lily, don't cry. Daddy promises Mommy's going to be okay. We're going back for her right now.
29:09Hand over the kid. I'll make your death quick.
29:20Lily, turn around and cover your ears, okay?
29:25Daddy's going to do a little magic trick.
29:28Okay.
29:32You are the best.
29:42Some nobody dare stare me down? You're asking to die.
29:48You're not human. Who the hell are you?
29:51My daughter's here, so I'm keeping it clean. Disappear.
30:13Okay, Lily. You can turn around now.
30:19Daddy? What happened to the bad guy?
30:23He got so dazzled by how cute you are, he just passed out.
30:32Lily, stay right here inside this circle. Don't move. Daddy's going to help Mommy beat the bad guys. I'll be
30:38right back.
30:43Daddy, be careful.
30:46Don't worry, Lily. No one's ever beaten your dad.
30:56That poison's eating you alive, little nymph. How much longer you got? Let me have my fun first.
31:03So what? I'll drag you to hell with me before I die.
31:18Damn. You take a hit well. Let's enjoy this body. Then I'll turn you into my eternal trophy.
31:26For Jack and Lily. Even if I die, I'm taking this beast down with me.
31:33No signal? You trying to hog the glory?
31:36More coming. Killing one won't save Jack and Lily. No choice. I'm taking them down with me.
31:42This the woman Dylan wants? Where the kid?
31:45Some guy took the brat.
31:47Man. Useless. Grab her first, then we hunt the child.
31:55Just let Jack and Lily be safe.
32:01You all want to come at once? Then die together. Pick your graves.
32:17Why did you come back? Where's Lily?
32:23Lily's safe. Don't push yourself.
32:28So this is the woman's secret lover. Her taste is trash.
32:33Beg now. And maybe I'll leave your corpses in one piece.
32:37Refuse, and you'll be screaming. End it fast.
32:44You? In our eyes, you're not even an enemy. Just weeds to be crushed under feet.
32:50Just hold on a little longer. Jack means more to me than anything. I won't let him get hurt.
33:06You want my husband? Step over my corpse first!
33:11In a hurry to die? Fine! I'll oblige!
33:43You're half dead already!
33:45How the hell did you knock me back?
33:47The sea is sinking. Those are Poseidon's warriors.
33:52This can't be.
34:18Ancient Ekethra? The coastal legend monster? Why would she be here?
34:25Ha ha ha! Our boss has real backing! He summoned three of Poseidon's elite guards!
34:31No matter how strong you are, kneel and beg!
34:35They're coming for us. We're finished.
34:38Don't worry, darling. Things might turn around.
34:40Lyra Vale has been captured. Now we await the Sea King's warriors to execute this peasant.
34:48They're here for me! Jack, stay behind me!
34:51With me here, no one touches you.
34:54Stop saying that, Jack! Look around! We're surrounded! We could actually die here!
35:04My lords! Let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson!
35:11You worthless creature!
35:14You shouldn't even exist where I stand!
35:24Who dares show such insolence before the Lord of the Sea?
35:30Move here!
35:32To come here to the ΠΏΡ€ΠΎΡ‡ΠΊΡ–αΉ­ base fight, come in!
35:33Give us anΰΈͺ ardent吗?
35:34Where are they?
35:35Have they thought of me or not?
35:36Like to see my Dad, yeah!
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