- 3 hours ago
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00:04You
00:17Hey Chelsea, hey birthday, how'd you know it was my birthday? Oh Jen cock told me about your party. Are
00:23you fucking kidding me? Oh
00:27From Jen cock Wow Chelsea surprise very special milestone 40th
00:32Shh it's tonight. Don't say anything to her. I guess she cc'd you by accident another one incoming this time
00:39It's a reply all oopsies teehee. How do you take someone off an email? She had two brains should be
00:45twice as stupid
00:45Oh, oh, oh, oh, there's more this time she forwarded to the IT department
00:49How do I scrub my entire email history from the beginning of time comes the brainiac now?
00:56Hey Charles
00:59So casual question. Uh, what are you up to tonight?
01:02Attending the surprise party. I'm not supposed to know about
01:05Who told you?
01:07You did a bunch of times. Okay. My laptop has too many buttons. So it's like a trap. Hey, I
01:13just want to let you know
01:13I can't make your surprise party
01:16It's my first annual meet and sauna night. Yeah for six. We meet at six. Sorry Jen a bunch of
01:20us already RSVP to tasers meat fest
01:23It's gonna be awesome. What can I come? Oh my girl?
01:26Yes
01:27Chelsea you have to attend your own surprise party. I'm just not really a surprise person. Well, everybody secretly wants
01:34a surprise party
01:36Well, just cancel your party. What what feels very cancelable, right? It's got that click
01:41Maybe I'm attending, but I'm probably gonna bail energy. No way already dropped the girls at their moms
01:46And I've had rib smoking for a day now. So they got to be in tonight nice
01:52Well, it's just that you know, I put a big deposit down at the pipe
02:02All right, oh
02:03All right, oh
02:05Come
02:07Sorry, it's gonna be really fun. It's just gonna be us conk gals, you know
02:11Girls night
02:12Girls night
02:13Girls night
02:17Gotcha good one
02:19Meat smash
02:21Meat night have fun tonight girls sad. I'm gonna miss. Fuck you Todd
02:29Who keeps stealing my lasagna do I look like Garfield's bitch a hundred fucking percent luckily I brought my backup
02:37spaget four minutes
02:43Ice fucking cold
02:45Here out of the way
02:48Oh, what all of a sudden you're an electrician? Yeah. Oh, that's the good duct tape. Why is a car
02:53fixing the microwave?
02:54I can do whatever I want
02:55Just help yourself. No, no, no
02:58Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
03:00Guys lots of backseat workers here. Don't see any of you lifting a finger to fix it. Who the hell
03:04microwaves egg salad?
03:05You eat your cheetos with milk
03:09Oh
03:11Hey
03:13Kind of busy microwave exploded. I'm not stealing it. So I need you to help me with Chelsea's surprise party
03:19She's not really a surprise person. I know all the more reason to double the fuck down
03:25You know, so I need you to pick her up and take her to the venue
03:31Um
03:31You see Chelsea on the surprise party email
03:34I know that Janet don't hinder me help me
03:38Just pitch me some fun party ideas penis straws. Yeah, um I went to a party once and there were
03:45penis straws there and they were
03:49a lot of fun penis straws well now you have my attention of course
04:00I think and kind of a curved at the end like music a question mark like it was asking do
04:06you want another spicy margarita?
04:08Yes, I do mr. Straw
04:12Well Chelsea's gay so maybe don't hand her a drink with a tiny plastic dick on it. Good point. I
04:18will drink them
04:19I will drink them all all right expedite those now Janet come on
04:23I will see you and Chelsea tonight at the party. Okay pick her up
04:27Oh my god
04:30Fuck my life
04:31Shit, where the fuck you taking us Taze?
04:34Ooh, wait to see what I got you for tonight boys. Let's put the fucking hat
04:37It's a bandia
04:39Look it up
04:41There she is
04:43There's no fucking way that's up to code
04:46Yeah, my code
04:47I'm just kind of doing my own thing. Come on
04:49Does it even have a carbon monoxide detector?
04:51Psst
04:52Loser detectors I call them
04:53Smells good
04:54You know we could just call 911 now and save them a trip later
04:57It's already so sweaty in here
04:58Yeah, can you pre-book an ambulance?
05:00Come on man, the heat's good for you
05:02Oh nice touch taste
05:04Where the hell did you get these?
05:06Not bad
05:06Imperial Valley Hotel Express
05:09Nothing but the best for my buds, right?
05:11Steam, sweat, heat ribs
05:13Yeah buddy
05:15Hey, turn up the music
05:18Oh yeah
05:19Please
05:19Yeah boys, I'll throw some more logs on the fire
05:27Can we get some frozen mugs please?
05:29Make it three
05:30Sorry senorita
05:31No ice
05:33Machine
05:33Es muerta
05:34Machine no work
05:35Machine no work?
05:36This is a bar
05:37And yet this is where we find ourselves
05:39Sungloss
05:40They're here
05:41They're here
05:42They're here
05:42Everyone hide
05:43Everyone hide
05:44Hide hide hide hide hide
05:46I cannot stress this enough
05:47She knows about this
05:48We're here
05:49Surprise
05:50Surprise
05:51Surprise
05:51Just what I wanted
05:52Don't you love it?
05:54So everyone
05:55Come out
05:56Come out wherever you are
05:57Surprise
05:59Surprise
06:00Surprise
06:00Happy fucking birthday
06:02Surprise
06:04Surprise
06:04Surprise
06:05Whoa
06:05Peanut stress
06:06Oh
06:08So thoughtful
06:10Thanks
06:12Holy shit
06:13Holy shit
06:13My bag is sweating now
06:14Oh god
06:15I got the meat sweats
06:16God
06:18Pass me a beer would ya?
06:19Here you go bro
06:19Get her in ya
06:21Get her in ya
06:21Oh
06:22Oh
06:22That'll work too
06:24Oh
06:25That'll cool ya
06:26That is a good idea
06:28Do it Dewey
06:30My turn
06:30Yeah
06:31Yeah
06:32So could do
06:34Come on Dewey
06:38Hey boys
06:39Where's the meat?
06:40Hey get in here
06:41Close it up
06:42Keep the heat in
06:42Oh
06:42Oh
06:43Oh
06:43Sorry I'm late
06:44I'm ready to get crazy boys
06:45Where the fuck were you?
06:46Oh
06:46Is that my duck blind?
06:48Two bricks already started eating without me
06:49Another bear
06:50Immediately
06:51Get a little rumbling and tumbling
06:52Get in here
06:53Get in here
06:53He's ready
06:55He's ready
06:56Douglas gets insane when he's scarfing down ribs
06:59Eat up brother
07:00There's more meat where that came from
07:02You should do
07:03Peace yourself
07:04There's meat woods
07:09Here we go
07:10Oh yeah
07:11Birthday girls
07:13Boss of the birthday girl
07:16And Janet
07:18Don't post that
07:19Janet
07:20Too late
07:20No no
07:21Janet
07:21Our entertainment is 30 seconds away
07:24Who
07:24Who's 30 seconds away?
07:26What did you do?
07:27Brace yourselves
07:28No
07:28I don't like the sound of that
07:30Okay
07:30Close your eyes
07:31Come on close your eyes
07:32Come on the surprise is almost here
07:34I'm off duty
07:34Okay
07:37Ooooo
07:39High tech
07:41Yeah
07:42It is like we're at a rock concert
07:45Ladies and ladies
07:48Happy Chelsea night
07:49Open your eyes
07:51Open your eyes
07:51Oh
07:52She's hot
07:52Good to go
07:54Take it away
07:56Oh god
07:57No
07:58Billy
07:59Surprise Chelsea
08:03Billy?
08:05What the fuck?
08:07I can't help myself around meat
08:09Oh boy
08:10That's all good
08:11Makes me crazy
08:12Is it the five pounds a meat or the twelve beer you just drank?
08:14Small sips
08:15I think you're making it worse
08:17This will pass
08:18I once had an uncle who ate two rotisserie chickens in one sitting bones and all
08:23He crushed a colopoid
08:24Burped for thirty seconds
08:26And then rolled along like nothing fucking happened
08:30See?
08:31Get it out
08:31Progress
08:32Get it out
08:32I still feel like shit
08:34The food bill debt must have reached his lower stomach by now
08:37We need to exercise it out of him gently
08:39Like a baby
08:40You better rock up buddy
08:41You better rock more
08:42Work with me
08:43Come on
08:44Okay
08:45Cool cool
08:46Everyone's looking loosey goosey
08:49Yeah
08:49Good times
08:50Hey quick ask
08:51What now?
08:52You fellas help me move a small fridge
08:58Absolutely not
08:59It's in my basement
09:00We can move up the back of my steps to my garage real quick
09:03Fuck you dude
09:04If we got the momentum then maybe we can get to the L-shaped couch too
09:07Not fucking happening
09:08Fuck you
09:09That's fair
09:09That's fair
09:10You do your thing
09:11You digest
09:11But enjoy the freshly scented room
09:13See you in five minutes
09:20Where'd you find him? A parking lot?
09:22A dude dash
09:22It's like a food delivery app but for erotic dancers
09:25Gotcha
09:28Why?
09:29Sorry tell us
09:29I tried to tell them
09:31Couldn't get a lady stripper?
09:32Well I could have
09:33Yeah but they were way more expensive
09:35And besides he's like a local talent
09:38Oh and ladies if you could give me a nice review you know
09:42It doesn't have to be nothing wrong
09:43Just like you know showed up on time easy on the ice
09:46You know five stars
09:48No stars
09:49This is not happening
09:50Do you think she's having fun?
09:52Hey Chels
09:53Happy birthday girlfriend
09:54Yes
09:55Woo!
09:56Living the dream
09:58Call her the beast
10:00Half appliance half curse
10:03She's been down here 14 years boys
10:05What?
10:06Nobody's moved her
10:08Not because they didn't try
10:10Cause she didn't want to be moved
10:12She survived a flood
10:14A blackout
10:15And a bear attack
10:17Fuck
10:17What kind of bear?
10:18Big
10:19She may give off some chemical smell
10:22But she still makes ice
10:25And that noise
10:26Chemical shmangler
10:27That's how she talks
10:28If you listen close
10:31She'll speak to you
10:36What's up my motherfuckers?
10:39Oh my gosh
10:39Mehdi
10:41How the fuck with you?
10:42How was Sarnia?
10:43On Namibia actually uranium conference was a total cock stretch
10:46But happy to be home
10:47Where are all the kids?
10:48Kids?
10:49What kids?
10:50I wouldn't miss Mary Francis's birthday
10:52Hmm?
10:53About that Mehdi
10:54I just needed help moving this fridge
10:56What?
10:57He lured everyone here and love bombed us with sauna ribs
11:00Yeah
11:01You always ask why I don't trust?
11:02This is why I don't trust
11:04Oh come on
11:04I've helped you all move some sort of shit at some point or other
11:07How do you pretend like I haven't?
11:08You helped me move a small ottoman once
11:10And you kept the fucking thing
11:12Oh that's where that came from
11:13Fuck it
11:14Enough talk
11:15These hernias aren't gonna bulge themselves
11:17The sooner we do this
11:18Sooner we can get back to drinking
11:20Yes
11:23It's alive
11:24You should know what's coming from
11:28Fossil kit
11:30Sweet
11:31I need more meat
11:33Is that a sausage?
11:36He's at stage eight
11:37Hallucinations
11:38Okay ladies
11:39Break's almost over
11:40Don't forget your tip
11:41Oh five stars from me Billy
11:44What?
11:46What do you say
11:47When we're spinning around the horn for old times sake?
11:49Hard pass
11:50No
11:51How hard?
11:52What?
11:52In like a relationship?
11:54Or like in love or something?
11:56Oh
11:56Is it with that dude down at the marina with the pet bald eagle?
11:59Who are you talking about?
12:00You know the guy with like tattoos on his wing
12:02How do you know that Billy?
12:06Everybody knows
12:07What?
12:07What?
12:08You okay buddy?
12:11I've never been happier
12:12Okay
12:13Um
12:14I
12:14I
12:14I
12:16Okay I think I got it
12:18What do you think?
12:19Aww
12:19You wanna get your fucking shit together
12:21Post it
12:22I can't
12:23I can't help my people
12:23Anyway are you like sticking around?
12:25Cause like you got this new number
12:27Hey dude real show stopper
12:29I could really use some assistance
12:32Fuck off Billy your agent's on the phone
12:35Oh shit that must be the right commercial
12:38Oh my god I have been with some fucking losers
12:41Girl you gotta type
12:42Except for Chelsea
12:44I already got one here
12:45Oh
12:49Is this your wedding cake?
12:51Yeah my third one
12:52Got some from the second one in here somewhere
12:55My lasagna
12:55That's my topperware
12:57What?
12:58My name's on it
12:59No it's not
13:00Dewey snap to it
13:01Dewey right there
13:02Gotta move the beast across the floor
13:03Around the corner
13:04Up those back stairs
13:05Oh
13:05Yes
13:06Those look far away
13:07Oh Christ
13:08Are you serious?
13:09They're just right there
13:10Grab a corner and go navigate
13:11Whoa whoa whoa whoa
13:12Where the fuck do you get to navigate?
13:14That's the easiest part
13:14Four guys, four corners
13:16Oh shit
13:17Look none of you assholes helped when I had to move
13:19Alright I had to drag a futon up
13:21Three flights of stairs
13:22Taser said he wasn't built for staircase
13:24Oh
13:25What the fuck are you actually built for?
13:27Calimony apparently
13:28Come on
13:29Oh fuck's sake
13:31Not that bad
13:32Alright I'll take that fire corner
13:33It's not as heavy
13:34My back's fucking
13:35No no no no I want that corner
13:36Look
13:36Back off
13:37I'm gonna count us in
13:38One
13:39Two
13:40Three
13:41Lift
13:43Dewey fuck
13:44You gotta lift when you say lift
13:46Okay alright
13:46For fuck's sake
13:47Come on
13:48He
13:51Duck walk
13:52Oh duck walk
13:54What is a duck walk?
13:55Shut the fuck up about the duck walk
13:56That's right
13:56That is no the worst dude
13:58Alright
14:00No no no
14:01Get stuck
14:02Damn
14:02Chip it's a gun
14:03Stop tipping
14:04Careful
14:06What the
14:06Are you okay?
14:08Oh my
14:08Are you alright?
14:09It's okay I'll get it
14:10You're okay?
14:11He's alright it's alright
14:12Keep it right this side
14:13Careful
14:13Oh my
14:14Fuck
14:16Motherfucker
14:17Fuck
14:17This beast is cursed
14:19It should be left to die like the animal that it is
14:21No
14:22You're taking this piece of shit to the dump right now
14:24Alright
14:25Regroup
14:26Come on guys
14:29One
14:30Two
14:32Three
14:32Dewey
14:33If you say lift and don't lift one more time I swear
14:35I'm gonna fold you in half and stuff you in this fucking fridge
14:38Okay I will lift
14:39And lift
14:40Holy
14:41Fuck this is heavy
14:42And
14:43A pinch
14:44A pinch
14:45A pinch
14:46Leave
14:46A pinch
14:47Come on guys
14:49Watch out
14:49Watch out
14:53They got me in the hideout
14:55It's a sprinting cobra
14:56And there goes the free online
14:58Hey great work Dewey
15:00Hey take a breather
15:01You'll be fine
15:02Okay
15:02Enough
15:03Why are we even trying to move this piece of shit?
15:06Piece of shit?
15:07Cause this is all I got left from my dad
15:09What?
15:10Yeah that's right
15:12Before he got sick my dad loved pickling
15:14Pickling?
15:15He started all here in the beast
15:17You know it kept him busy during some trying times
15:21He loved it
15:22He pickled everything
15:23Eggs
15:24Peppers
15:24Pig's feet
15:26Okay you lost me a pig's feet
15:27Sourbroughten?
15:28Sourbroughten
15:29It's good
15:30Yeah
15:31And after he passed
15:32Everything else got sold
15:33It's clothes
15:34Terrible
15:36Stereo
15:36His prosthetic leg
15:38Oh Jesus
15:38Except for this beauty
15:39She stayed
15:41What the fuck?
15:43Yeah
15:43Oh
15:43Oh
15:44Oh
15:44Oh
15:45Oh
15:45Oh no
15:48Billy you weasel
15:50Audrey where are you letting this happen?
15:52Please
15:52I'm sorry man
15:57Yeah
15:57Thanks guys
15:59Thanks guys
16:00This is fucked
16:01No thanks for breaking the mood backwards
16:03They could finally decide to show up to the moving part
16:05You guys said you wanted some fucking help?
16:07Have at it
16:08Let's fucking get it
16:10Good luck
16:12Alright
16:13Alright
16:13Thanks for helping
16:14We're gonna take a break
16:15Good luck
16:16We got some ribs and beers upstairs
16:17Oh god
16:21At least I left this shit hole and made something out of my life in the big show
16:27Oh
16:28Is that you?
16:30Absolutely birthday girl
16:31What's with all the fucking dicks?
16:33God
16:34Look I got one here
16:35Let me sign up for you
16:36For your birthday special
16:37For me
16:37You know
16:38So uh
16:39What's your deal?
16:40Like uh
16:41Accounting?
16:42Office?
16:43Clerk?
16:44Nope
16:44Oh
16:45Big boss lady
16:46No
16:47I work for her
16:50Like look at that
16:51Oh my god
16:52You work for that train wreck?
16:55Yep
16:56It'll be on my tombstone
16:57Baby sat a Nepo baby all day at work
17:00And made her a ton of money
17:01And died lonely
17:06I'm gonna go get aggressively fucked up now
17:09This is 40?
17:11This is 40?
17:12Oh
17:12No
17:12Oh you have to take one of these
17:14Please
17:18Fuck
17:20Sorry
17:26Video message?
17:27Really?
17:28Hey Chelsea
17:29It's Donny again from Corn Pulse
17:30You didn't return any of my other calls
17:33So I'll get right to it
17:34Our VP of operations just stepped down
17:36You free for a chat?
17:46Ah shit
17:47Fuck that thing's stuck
17:49That's not going anywhere
17:50I guess I can't use my back door anymore
17:55Dewey what the fuck?
17:57Ah
17:57Mild free on exposure
17:59Probably under 400 OEL
18:01He'll be fine
18:01You know
18:02Taser
18:02I'm so sorry
18:04I didn't know
18:05Your father passed
18:06It's uh
18:08But you know
18:08The way you spoke about him
18:09It was so vivid
18:10It was like he was still alive
18:12But he is
18:14I lied
18:15What?
18:16I made up all the stuff about the fridge
18:18And all the stuff about my dad
18:19I wanted the fridge to seem more meaningful
18:21So you guys would help
18:21Even the Sauerbraten part?
18:24Yep
18:25Dick moves man
18:26And you conned us
18:29He's coming back for more
18:31Oh
18:34Oh
18:35Oh
18:35Oh
18:35Oh
18:35Oh
18:38The beast
18:39Is toast
18:42Sorry Chase
18:43I really needed that
18:44Glad I could help
18:46You did shit
18:47Useless
18:47Taser
18:48Your dad would have been proud of you
18:50I just know him
18:52Were you not here for his dad's alive part?
18:55Or what?
18:55Maybe
18:57Well time to move that all shaped couch boys
18:59Come on
19:00No way
19:01Fuck my man
19:02Fuck my man
19:02Fuck
19:07Mike
19:10What is happening now?
19:13Fire
19:13He's dead
19:14Oh
19:17He's spitting on her
19:18Okay bye
19:20Safe
19:20Oh my god you need to watch that man
19:22He's so stupid
19:26Okay get back a little bit
19:28And the feeling of
19:29Come on
19:30No
19:30No
19:31No
19:31No
19:31No
19:31No
19:31No
19:31I'm not
19:31No
19:32No
19:33What is happening now?
19:36What am I not?
19:42Hey
19:43Go
19:43Go
19:45Go
20:14I'm going out tonight, I'm feeling all right, I'm gonna let it all hang out.
20:22Okay, so let me get this straight, you were in the game, you did erotic dance?
20:26Yeah, I did, for a bit, I did the swinging cage, and advanced pole, those are my two specialties,
20:33you did pole.
20:34No man, I'm self-tied, that's impressive, yeah, I ran as pheromone rush, you know that's ringing
20:42a bell?
20:42Yeah, I'm not surprised, you know back then I was cut, I was ripped, I had a nice kind
20:47of physique going, but now, you know what, I'm...
20:49Come on, I can see it.
20:54Well, I hate to leave you for the ladies, bud, but, yep, good.
20:57Yeah.
20:59Yeah, you guys ready?
21:01I fucking love this song.
21:03Here we go.
21:03He's trying to dance is what I'm doing.
21:07He's trying to dance the way I feel.
21:11We're looking!
21:12I feel right!
21:15feeding him!
21:15Come on, come on too!
21:17That one's ready.
21:19This one's ready!
21:20Bye bye.
21:23Ah!
21:25Who was so?
21:27Chelsea, get over here!
21:29Who wants to tink, 94?
21:30The best thing about being a woman is a program to have a little fun.
21:38Fun! Fun!
21:39Yeah, fun.
21:40Uh-oh, totally crazy, forget how we're laden.
21:45Men's shirts, shorts, skirts.
21:48Uh-oh, really go wild, yeah, doing it in style.
21:54Uh-oh, get in the action, feel the attraction.
21:58Color my hair, do what I dare.
22:01Uh-oh, uh-oh, wanna be free and feel the way I feel.
22:07Feel the way I feel.
22:10Man!
22:11I feel like a woman.
22:13I still do.
22:14We got a couple more beers for the ladies.
22:17We're fixing tequila!
22:19Come on, girls!
22:22Oh, yeah.
22:23Oh, baby!
22:24Oh, baby!
22:26Holy shit, we're good!
22:28Ah!
22:30Woo!
22:32Woo!ingerск
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