Taskmaster.S21E02

CinemaStoryHouse

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Transcript

00:02Don't look away

00:16I might just do this all day

00:33Hello, thank you, welcome to Taskmaster, a herd of comedy wildebeest being whittled down by the natural selection of their

00:41own incompetence

00:42What lies in wait for them at the watering hole today?

00:45Huh, let's get in the Jeep Jeep and go and find out. I hope it's not a comedy crocodile

00:51Please welcome

00:53Amy Gledhill

00:56Armando Iannucci

00:58Joanna Page

01:01Joel Domest

01:02And Kamal Nanjani

01:07And next to me, a man whose favourite films, he tells me, are the Carry On films

01:12Because it reminds him of a golden time in mainstream culture

01:15When women could be openly objectified

01:17And it was okay to acknowledge that some foreign accents are just hilarious

01:23Little Alatog

01:26Little Alatog

01:28It wouldn't

01:29Are you paraphrasing?

01:31Let's get going

01:32C, Senor Davies

01:34And the prize task category this week is the most unquestionable thing of beauty

01:39Yes, it's clear-cut

01:40It's unquestionable

01:42And yet he will question them and judge them and give maximum points for the most unquestionable one

01:47Such is his right

01:48And that was a reading from Corinthians chapter 9 verse 18

01:52Let's do this

01:53Who should we have first?

01:54Joanna Page

01:54My thing of unquestionable beauty is unquestionable evidence of the fact that I was voted Wales' sexiest woman in 2009

02:10This is what she's brought in to represent unquestionable beauty

02:13Oh

02:15You might think this is shallow, right?

02:18But this isn't mine

02:19This is taken from my mother's scrapbook

02:21And this is going on like 20 years old

02:24And she still has this

02:25And she has this because she's proud of me

02:28Yes

02:28And if this doesn't say about the unquestionable beauty of a mother's love for her daughter

02:34Then I don't know what does

02:36And it gets me here

02:38Right

02:42I think that is a very strong star

02:45Thank you

02:46Right, we're off

02:46Come out

02:47I brought in something that I find to be very beautiful

02:49And I cannot believe my friend found it in the trash

02:52Oh, what?

02:53Look at this, Greg

02:55It's a painting that is absolutely gorgeous

02:59It just looks like this ghostly child's being held captive

03:02It's grotesque

03:04Thank you

03:05Can we look at the back of it, please?

03:07Yeah, the back looks like this

03:09It says T-Pain

03:11Why does it say the name of the King of Artertune on the back?

03:14Because it's art, Greg

03:16And I think the painting's haunted

03:18I've been trying to get rid of it for years

03:21I didn't even ship it here

03:22It was just in my hotel room when I checked in

03:25I really hope I lose this episode

03:28Well, you're off to a great start

03:33I don't know

03:34I don't know

03:34It's my wife took it

03:35She's normally a very good photographer

03:36She said it was an accident

03:37Yeah, this is a photo of Amanda

03:39So

03:39LAUGHTER

03:42I think it's a happy accident

03:44Because it actually shows just the

03:46How unquestionably beautiful

03:47The whole of planet Earth is

03:49The nature

03:50The sky

03:52And how unbelievably insignificant we are as part of it

03:56I don't know

03:57I don't know how insignificant the haunting Egg Island is

04:02Two left, Greg

04:03Amy

04:03I have brought a painting of Yorkshire

04:07Because I think Yorkshire's beautiful

04:08And I've made a very special frame

04:11Which I'd like to show you

04:12Which I think makes it even more beautiful

04:15Well, take a look at this

04:16LAUGHTER

04:22APPLAUSE

04:22Good

04:24Who did the painting?

04:25My friend Poppy Hillstead

04:26From Yorkshire?

04:27Yeah

04:28Hey, oh!

04:30I like it very much

04:32Joel, what have you brought us?

04:34I've also gone for a painting, Amy

04:37Take a look at this, Greg

04:39LAUGHTER

04:41APPLAUSE

04:46I know what you've done

04:48You know what I've done?

04:49If you've not guessed

04:50And it's your head

04:51And that's your body

04:53Oh, my

04:54Oh, is it your body?

04:55It's your body

04:56And it's Greg's head

04:57And that's little Alex Horne on the pants

04:59Yeah, I see that

05:01You and I make a great hybrid

05:03LAUGHTER

05:04Oh, it's sort of so sad

05:06Because I'll never get to see that in real life

05:08Really, it's just that head on top of a bag of suet

05:12LAUGHTER

05:14Right, do you want to score these beautiful things?

05:17Yeah, it's tough

05:18Mm

05:18Because I was quite touched by all but one

05:22LAUGHTER

05:23There's one to come out

05:24And you'll thank me for that

05:25I think there's got to be a gap between creepy child and the others

05:29I'm going to give muscly me three points

05:31Muscly me

05:32OK, so three points to Joel

05:33I'm going to give Armando's Head Island four points

05:37Thank you

05:37The general populace would love the bond between mother and daughter

05:42And the people of Yorkshire would love to be celebrated

05:45By a picture surrounded by Yorkshire puddings

05:48And thus, five points each to the two ladies

05:50There we go

05:51Five points to Amy, five points to Joanna

05:53APPLAUSE

05:55Let us task

05:56Yes, and we begin with something you and I struggle with before every recording, Greg

06:00Kissing?

06:01No, it's what to wear

06:02What to wear

06:17Hello

06:17Big deep breath, in you go

06:22OK

06:22Ooh, echo

06:25Do you like the acoustics?

06:27Yeah, whoa

06:27Whoa

06:28Yeah, it makes my skull vibrate

06:31Is it warm in there?

06:33It's warm and loud

06:34I feel like I should be grabbing money at the end of the crystal maze

06:37What's that?

06:38Oh, it's another shot

06:39No

06:40It was popular before this one was

06:42I want to keep the seals, I'm going to keep all these seals

06:45For eBay

06:48It's lovely and sunny

06:49Oh my god

06:50Choose how much of Alex's bowling outfit to wear throughout part two

06:57If you choose Alex's bowling overalls, your final time will be reduced by two minutes

07:02If you choose Alex's bowling gloves, your final time will be reduced by three minutes

07:08If you choose Alex's bowling glasses, your time will be reduced by four minutes

07:14If you choose Alex's bowling shoes, your final time will be reduced by five minutes

07:20If you choose to wear Alex's whole bowling outfit, your final time will be reduced by 20 minutes

07:29You have one minute

07:31Your time starts now

07:33The more I choose, my final time will be reduced by 20 minutes, so that's good

07:38I want to reduce my time

07:40Who knows

07:41There may be a hindrance

07:42There may be

07:43I'm going to go for bowling overalls

07:45Bowling overalls

07:47I'm going to put your bowling glasses on

07:49Okay

07:50So I will wear the shoes and the gloves

07:55Your time will be reduced by eight minutes

07:57I want to go the whole outfit then, am I?

08:00Overalls, gloves, glasses and shoes

08:02Yeah

08:03I choose to wear your whole outfit

08:05Good stuff, I'll bring it to you now

08:10Oh god

08:17Who are the two people that chose to hold outfits? What's your thinking with that?

08:20This is quite interesting about this show

08:22You know, it makes you realise who you are as a person

08:25Yeah

08:25You know, and I've realised I'm really excited

08:29Yeah

08:29And fucking stupid

08:30Yeah

08:32Let's see what the skittle outfits did, shall we?

08:34Yes, well, decisions have been made

08:36Will they regret those decisions?

08:37Of course they will

08:48Oh

08:49Oh, hi Joanna

08:49Hello

08:50You're wearing my bowling glasses

08:51I am

08:52They're very nice

08:54Yeah, they help

08:56I did say

08:57There's something Guantanamo about this whole process, didn't I?

09:02Yeah, I strongly disagree with that

09:04I think I've got my technique down

09:06Yeah

09:07And I've never worn these

09:09You look good

09:10You look?

09:12Yeah

09:12You wouldn't lie to me now

09:13I know

09:14Well, yeah, please be careful

09:17Find and open the task

09:18And give it a good read

09:21LAUGHTER

09:23LAUGHTER

09:32There we go, well done

09:34Get the bowling ball in the bucket

09:38You must stay on stage at all times

09:41There is a two-minute time penalty

09:45But any skittle touched

09:48And all skittles must be standing when the bowling ball enters the bucket

09:53Fastest wins

09:54Your time started when you stepped on the stage

09:56Where's the bowling ball?

09:57Oh!

09:58All right

09:59Oh, no

10:06The thing I already love about this group of contestants is that

10:10None of them might

10:11Like

10:12When you find out it's some awful outfit that's going to make things so much worse

10:16You're like

10:16Ha ha ha

10:17LAUGHTER

10:18Joanna was just

10:19Oh ha ha ha

10:20I got really excited

10:22I know

10:22Because they were really good fun to put on

10:25Yeah

10:26OK, let's bowl

10:27Well, up first it is Amy E.G. and Joe P

10:31Get the bowling ball in the bucket

10:37On the stage. It's quite near the skittles. It's right near the skittles. Oh

10:42I can see it. Oh

10:45Right, okay. Get the bowling ball in the bandit

11:04The good news is you've only touched one skittle. Oh my god do I have to put all of these

11:08back up for when it goes in? I think so. Okay. Oh my god. This isn't how I expected this

11:14to go. All right. All right. Standing them up. One at a time. Oh

11:23Okay. Oh my god no. Don't.

11:38I reckon I'm on for losing this task. Naughty dogs. Running away.

11:48Three left. Two left. They're all up.

11:55Stop the clock. Stop the clock.

12:01Sort of quite poetic the way that they both just went boom. It was poetic. Yeah. But they all had

12:06to be standing up when the ball went in the bucket. And they did badly.

12:10Amy took 32 minutes.

12:14But you saved 20 minutes while wearing the full outfit. Oh yes yes. But you did touch every single skittle.

12:19That's 54 skittles. Two minute penalty per skittle. So that's a punishment of 108 minutes plus the 12 minutes. You

12:25took exactly two hours.

12:28Wow. Joanna you actually only took 5 minutes 59 to get that. Really? Wow. And also touched every single skittle.

12:34So your total time was 109 minutes and 59 seconds. So you're about 10 minutes quicker. You're in the lead.

12:39Yes. Now in a sad reflection of the state of our

12:42society we must pause for some gambling adverts. I don't think it's advert time. Do you want to bet? Yes.

12:49LAUGHTER

12:57APPLAUSE

12:58APPLAUSE

13:02Hello. We're back and it's part two and there's a ball that badly needs to be banged into a bucket.

13:08Who's next? That's right kids. It's Joel and Amanda. I don't regret my decision. I bet you're all thinking that

13:16I regret it. You guys can absolutely

13:18do one. Ooh!

13:20Ooh!

13:21And restrict the number of skittles to I touch. Do be careful. Two minutes each. See you later.

13:31One. One? Well I might do two. Don't regret it. This will be very heavy.

13:44Ah!

13:44Ooh!

13:46Where's it?

13:49Jesus!

13:50Ah!

13:57ARGH!

13:57Were they standing when the ball were in the bucket?

14:01You have it on record. You filmed that, didn't you?

14:04ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!

14:07You're putting your hopes on the freeze frame with that ball going in the bucket. They're still on their feet,

14:11these skittles.

14:11Yeah, task complete

14:51I don't regret it

14:52No

14:55I don't regret it

14:57I don't regret it

14:59No

15:01I don't regret it

15:10Stop the clock

15:12Wow

15:13I don't regret it

15:35What a shit

15:37Yeah

15:38Oh, he is, he is a little shit

15:40Oh, God, yes

15:40Well, I put it there to make it easier

15:42You didn't have to

15:42Yeah, yeah, yeah

15:47Who'd have thought that your fingers

15:49Scrubbling around trying to get into a bowling ball

15:51Would be so tense

15:52I kind of enjoyed the drama of it, watching it back

15:55Oh, Christ, I was on the edge of my seat

15:56He was very close to nailing the task

15:58You were quick, 3 minutes 20 to put the ball in

16:00And you did offer me the option of then

16:02Saying you've got time to pick them all up

16:04And I thought that was funny

16:06I want to just stop at the funny

16:07And also, I couldn't be bothered

16:11Do you regret not regretting it with the wisdom of hindsight?

16:13I think it was absolutely fine

16:15You know, it was an adventure

16:16And hopefully that adventure didn't cost me too much time

16:19You were almost exactly the same as Amy

16:21Because you touched every single skittle

16:23You were wearing all the outfits

16:24So it was minus 20 but plus 108

16:26And you took 28 minutes and 46 seconds

16:29So you were ever so slightly quicker than Amy

16:31Ooh

16:31I don't regret it

16:33Who's next?

16:34Yes, well, there's only one person left to see

16:37According to his resume

16:39He's agile, he's strong, he's sexy, he's smart

16:42And he's made for exactly this sort of task

16:44Yes, he's Kamel Nanjani

16:55I've touched two skittles

16:56Yes

17:03Okay, you've not touched that one

17:07Clever

17:12All right, I'm learning

17:13All right, I'm learning

17:14Oh, okay

17:25This feels like a big moment

17:44This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me

18:04Get the water

18:06I'm getting a cramp, hold on

18:16I'm getting a cramp, hold on

18:17Can you get me a banana?

18:18Yeah, I can get you a banana

18:20I'm just going now

18:30Thank you

18:34Are you in quite a lot of pain?

18:36Yeah

18:37I could offer you a certain amount of time per skittle

18:39And I could give you a hand

18:41You could, what?

18:43You can give me a hand?

18:44Well

18:45Yeah, how much?

18:46If I'm touching them, that's two minutes per skittle

18:47I'll give you one minute

18:49But I don't benefit from that

18:5185 seconds?

18:53Okay

18:54Yeah?

18:55Sure

18:56Okay

19:0085 seconds

19:03170 seconds

19:10ELECTRONIC SONG

19:13ELECTRONIC SONG

19:15ELECTRONIC SONG

19:19ELECTRONIC SONG

19:20It did go in the bucket

19:22It's not in the bucket

19:23It was in the bucket

19:25For a moment

19:33Do it gingerly this time

19:37I've stopped the clock, Camille.

19:40Well done.

19:45I had conflicting emotions watching you.

19:47Like, there were very clever things.

19:49Like, you came up with the not touching the Skittles system.

19:51Thank you. And I thought, ah, that's clever.

19:53And then very quickly after it, I thought,

19:55I'm not going to have to watch him move all of them.

19:59I decided that no matter how long it took,

20:03I was going to get them done and I was only going to touch two Skittles.

20:06You did touch four in the end and you took nearly 40 minutes to do it.

20:10But because of my bargaining,

20:12the maths means that the 85-second penalty per Skittles that I touch,

20:16you actually got it in 55 minutes and 13 seconds.

20:18You actually were the fastest out of the five of them.

20:20I won that... We won this task. We won this task.

20:27Let's give some points out, you.

20:29OK, well, Armando did not really finish the task.

20:32Couldn't care less.

20:34I don't regret it.

20:36OK.

20:37So, zero to Armando.

20:38We jump up then.

20:38Amy, two hours, two points somehow.

20:41Joel, nearly two hours, three points.

20:43Joanna, also nearly two hours, four points.

20:46But the winner of the task, five points, it's Kamala Gurley!

20:50Do you think you can see a scoreboard, please?

20:53I do. Armando, you won't be surprised to hear,

20:55you're currently in last place with four points.

20:57And at the top, she won the first episode.

20:59She's winning this one.

21:00Joanna Page has nine points.

21:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

21:04Next one, please.

21:06OK, but let's just slow down a moment

21:07and take some time to reflect.

21:09MUSIC PLAYS

21:21Hello?

21:22Oh!

21:26Hello?

21:29Ah!

21:38Oh my God, I thought it was a mirror!

21:40LAUGHTER

21:42Shout out to the art department.

21:45Absolutely fantastic.

21:46Oh!

21:46Whoa!

21:48This is incredible!

21:50Right, OK.

21:51Oh, there you...

21:52Oh, hello.

21:53Hang on.

21:53Right.

21:54Yes.

21:55Ah, yes.

21:56Yes.

21:59Hey.

22:01Alex?

22:02Come out.

22:04Ooh!

22:06Oh!

22:08No!

22:08Didn't think so.

22:09Shall I?

22:09Yes, please.

22:12OK.

22:13That was great, man.

22:15Like, exhilarating.

22:17Exhilarating.

22:17Yep.

22:18Do exactly what your reflection does.

22:20You must decide what Alex does,

22:22then mirror him.

22:23Most ambitious...

22:25But also accurate mirroring wins.

22:27You have a maximum of 20 minutes.

22:30Your time starts now.

22:31OK.

22:33So I've got 20 minutes to decide what my...

22:35my...

22:36me do for...

22:37OK.

22:40So I decide...

22:42what you do,

22:43and then I do it with you.

22:45Mm-hmm.

22:45Ideally something I'm good at.

22:48I just need to think about ambitious, er...

22:51Yes.

22:51I'll leave you to it.

22:52Yeah.

22:53Can you do a handstand?

22:55No.

22:55Can you?

22:56Yeah.

22:57Ah.

22:58You can teach me.

23:00Like, I feel like we should learn a dance.

23:0220 minutes, I think we could, like, get it down.

23:04Scoop.

23:05Scoop.

23:05I'm gonna scoop that way.

23:06Scoop.

23:07Scoop.

23:08Let's get a couple easels,

23:10and then we'll paint.

23:11And what are we gonna paint?

23:13That's up to you.

23:14You know what?

23:15I think you paint whatever you want to paint.

23:17All you've gotta do,

23:18I don't even know if I can genuinely do a handstand now.

23:20I'm 48 and I've had four children.

23:23I'm gonna try and see if it's possible.

23:24Are you ready?

23:25OK.

23:26Ah!

23:27It's not possible.

23:28LAUGHTER

23:32Oh, my God.

23:34Oh, my God.

23:44I can't think we're ever gonna see anything less ambitious

23:47than the time between you announcing you can do a handstand

23:51and the reality.

23:52Oh, my God.

23:53I really thought I could still do them.

23:55When was the last time you did one?

23:57Probably when I was about 12.

23:59LAUGHTER

24:00So, ambition.

24:01It's ambition and accuracy, Greg.

24:03Mmm.

24:03Oh, I'll factor that in, don't you worry.

24:06Well, let's go with Amy,

24:07who went to some pretty extreme lengths

24:08to make me appear just like her.

24:15Oh, my God.

24:22Like kinderny my clothes a hair.

24:24How long can she go?

24:24Oh!

24:29I hated the help.

24:30Oh, my God.

24:33D다가

24:34It's about the day

24:35But you're not going.

24:42I'm not going to pieces of anything.

24:43Because you're not going,

24:58Yeah, I thought thank you very good. I am

25:03Somewhat confused by you dressing as Barry Gibb

25:09The shoot dance was good with lots going on there's lots of accuracy it's a hell of a start next

25:15It's Joel and if you're wondering if he took his top off

25:19There are no spoilers here

25:38I

25:49Don't

25:51I

26:03Don't

26:04homoerotic

26:06I've seen all week

26:08We were facing away from each other so that's really difficult so that the level of difficulty is

26:13It's absolutely incredible and we took our tops off. That's fun, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

26:17I was probably more drawn in by you taking your tops off and kissing

26:22Time for an advert break, I think

26:35Oh

26:38We're still here the current task has seen our art department excel with a mirror illusion in a lab

26:44And now it's Camille looking in the mirror as per bloody usual

27:04I

27:37How did you feel that went I can't paint so I don't I don't know why I chose to do

27:42that

27:43But isn't that ambitious ironically?

27:46That's why I did it

27:48You know the thing that vexed me the most about it. Yes. You missed one of the rabbit's giant ears

27:52off

27:53I didn't I put both ears on the same side

27:57It did what's next will it be a handstand performance next definitely not because it's Joanna Payne

28:07I

28:44I

28:45What I'm interested in is the narrative of your doubts

28:47I don't think I was even like human we were sort of just emotional and it was like exhilarating and

28:53sort of finding some this freedom together on an emotional plane

28:58Ah

28:59And then after going round like that that was a huge release this is making me look at steps in

29:04a whole different

29:07And then from what emerged from that was I can birth and bring life in

29:12It's the love of a mother and a daughter

29:15Exactly

29:16Exactly

29:18Wow

29:20Exactly

29:20Wow

29:21I enjoyed the analogy

29:23Erm

29:23I suspect

29:25It was all horse shit

29:27There's only one left to see

29:29Let's go

29:29It is Armando's attempt now unfortunately he wasn't actually available on the day so instead he sent Ben Kingsley in

29:35to do it for him

29:38Let's have a look at Ben Kingsley

29:41Ah

29:43No

29:54Oh, my God.

30:02Oh, my God.

30:31Oh, my God. I enjoyed that.

30:33I mean, speaking of as a man of a similar vintage to you,

30:37just throwing yourself on the floor was ambitious.

30:39Yeah, bit of slapstick.

30:40Why did you decide to cast yourself as Ben Kingsley?

30:42No, I was just trying to look like him.

30:44We were trying to meet in the middle, I think, was the idea.

30:46Well, I went that way.

30:47Yeah, thank you.

30:48Was Ben Kingsley known for diving?

30:50That's why I was watching you, like, is there a reference?

30:52Let's just forget Ben Kingsley.

30:55It was me.

30:56It was just trying to look like him.

30:57That was you?

31:00LAUGHTER

31:01I mean, that's how good it was.

31:04Apart from Kamels, obviously, I loved them all.

31:07LAUGHTER

31:09One point. OK.

31:10One point to Kamel.

31:12They were all pretty powerful from this point onwards.

31:14So let's look at accuracy.

31:17Probably Joel's was slightly less accurate than the others.

31:19Yeah, I can understand that.

31:20And I'm going to give you two points, but I think it's harsh.

31:22I'll tell you that. That's all right.

31:24Now...

31:25How accurate was the universe?

31:28Slightly less accurate than the Shoup Shoup, I think.

31:31So whilst it was a powerful statement about life,

31:34I can only give you three points.

31:36I'll take that.

31:37I'm going to give Amy four points,

31:38because it was incredibly accurate.

31:40That is harsh.

31:41The one that moved me the most and was also accurate,

31:44and I think it will open up new doors for him.

31:47LAUGHTER

31:48Finally, that was Armando Iannucci.

31:50Takes five.

31:51Five points, one, Emily.

31:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

31:55What is next?

31:56Well, it is my idea of heaven.

31:58Lots of instructions, a secret code and a really big balloon.

32:15Hello?

32:17Everything all right in there?

32:19I think so.

32:20Present.

32:22Present or present?

32:24Great question.

32:26This is your sort of thing.

32:27This is my sort of thing?

32:29I think so.

32:29Do you reckon? What is my sort of thing?

32:31Fun?

32:32Fun.

32:33LAUGHTER

32:34Right.

32:35Achieve the most things on this list...

32:38Before the balloon pops.

32:40If you do the special thing,

32:42the balloon will stop inflating for ten seconds.

32:46Ten seconds, if you do the special thing?

32:53I feel like I haven't been looking around for alternate solutions.

32:57You must not touch the balloon mechanism.

33:00Your time starts when the balloon starts inflating.

33:04The special thing...

33:05Oh, my God.

33:06Oh!

33:07Oh, gosh!

33:07Right.

33:09OK.

33:10Right.

33:12Right.

33:12What's the special thing?

33:13Stop inflating!

33:15APPLAUSE

33:18You thought the special thing might be to say stop inflating, did you?

33:21I thought it was worth a shot.

33:23LAUGHTER

33:24Well, this is all pretty self-explanatory, I think.

33:27I don't want to dwell.

33:28I just want to crack on and have a look.

33:29Fair enough.

33:29They were under pressure.

33:30They had to achieve a lot of different things.

33:31And we're going to begin with three of the five,

33:33and that is Joanna, Joel and Amy.

33:37One.

33:37Thread a needle.

33:40Yes.

33:41I told you it was your sort of thing.

33:42I love this.

33:45This is ridiculous.

33:46What's the special thing?

33:48I love you.

33:50OK.

33:50I found the end of the sticky tape.

33:52One.

33:52That's one.

33:53Put on the galoshes.

33:55Oh, dear.

33:56This is a mistake.

33:57Ah!

34:00Ah!

34:01Gotta get in it!

34:03Be whispered to by a man on the phone.

34:05Right.

34:06My husband never answers the phone.

34:07We're actually in the middle of an argument

34:08because he doesn't answer the phone.

34:10Hello?

34:11Chris?

34:12I need to go.

34:12I need you to whisper to me on the phone.

34:14Yes.

34:15I can whisper to you.

34:16Two.

34:16Bye.

34:18Whisper, er, what you had for breakfast.

34:20I've had a breakfast.

34:22All right.

34:22Thanks very much.

34:23Go on.

34:23Bye.

34:24I'll put my number into yours.

34:29What do you want me to whisper?

34:30Hello.

34:31I'm a big fan of you.

34:34I'm a big fan of you.

34:37Done.

34:38Put on the galoshes.

34:40Put on the galoshes.

34:40Shout it out by a woman on the phone.

34:42Where's my mother?

34:43Come on, Mum.

34:45Oh, hello, Mum.

34:46Can you just very quickly just shout out what you had for breakfast?

34:49Shout at me down the phone.

34:51I'll shout at you.

34:52Hold on a second.

34:52Mum, you don't have to wait.

34:54Just shout.

34:55What's on earth you doing, for goodness sake?

35:00Just a scrambled egg.

35:02Scrambled egg.

35:03Thanks, Mum.

35:04Thank you very much.

35:05Find the end of the sticky tape.

35:06Right.

35:07Oh, yeah, yeah.

35:08No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

35:10I'm good at this.

35:11Oh, you are good at that.

35:12Yep.

35:12That's a sock in a pouch.

35:14What do you think a pouch is?

35:15That's a pouch.

35:15Okay, fair enough.

35:16So up the pouch.

35:18Right, I'm going to put the galoshes on first, because that's something.

35:24They're on.

35:25I'm going to do the present first.

35:27Did it say neatly?

35:28Yep.

35:29Yeah.

35:32Good.

35:33Good.

35:34Could you read to me what else is on the list?

35:36Say every number between 1 and 50, except for the numbers divisible by 7, 4 and 3.

35:40Howl for 30 seconds.

35:41Oh!

35:43Oh!

35:46Oh!

35:47Okay.

35:47I hate maths.

35:49You've done that?

35:49Yeah, I've done it, and I've got to sew up my pouch.

35:52Where does a galosh start and a waiter end?

35:56Where do you think the pouch is?

35:58Oh, fuck!

35:59Is it in there?

36:00Oh!

36:01Have you shouted out by a woman on the phone?

36:03My wife just rang.

36:04It's perfect timing, actually.

36:06I've sewn up that.

36:07Yeah, that counts.

36:09Sew up the pouch.

36:10Once you put a sock in it.

36:12Oh, my God!

36:13Oh!

36:14I didn't know anything that I told her!

36:16You're so clever!

36:19Ah!

36:21Oh!

36:22Oh!

36:27Oh!

36:29Oh!

36:30Oh!

36:31Oh!

36:32Oh!

36:33Oh!

36:39Not bad.

36:40The first time I've seen you on this show so far not looking like you're having the time

36:45of your life.

36:45Yeah.

36:46The threading of the needle seems to have broken you.

36:48I used the whole thing as sort of something, as some sort of way to get Alex Horne's number.

36:55I loved your mum needed a beat before she would shout at you straight away.

37:00She was in the middle of Swansea town centre.

37:03Yeah.

37:03And I was going, Mum, will you just shout down the phone and she had to get herself together?

37:08I think it's a Welsh thing, because my relatives are Welsh as well, and I don't think there's

37:12a lot of shouting in Wales.

37:14Because the response to most situations is, well, there we are.

37:17Happens.

37:18My mum took no persuading.

37:21That's genius.

37:22Scrambled egg!

37:23She was straight in, didn't even need to know why.

37:26Well, look, Amy did pretty well.

37:28Amy got seven out of the ten things done.

37:30Oh, all right.

37:31Which is a lot better than Joel, who got four or five, if you count the neatly wrapped

37:35presents.

37:35Oh, yes, I do count it.

37:37Oh.

37:37Because he has to be rewarded for spending three hours threading an egg.

37:41OK, well, you got half of the things done, but this pales next to Joanna, who got nine

37:46out of ten.

37:46Oh!

37:47I'm glad I'm on my maths today.

37:50Wow!

37:51OK, time for the last ad break of the show.

37:53We're just moments away from one of the contestants winning a portrait of my head on an Asian man's

37:58body.

37:58Has this been signed off by Channel 4, Alex?

38:01Yes.

38:04We're safe.

38:05See you after the break.

38:14Hello!

38:15Hello and welcome to part four of Taskmaster and some very speedy tasking.

38:19Oh, they're quick, they're slick, and I've done a little sick.

38:22Now, the final two attempts.

38:25First, they worked on Veep together.

38:26Now, it's the next step on the entertainment career ladder.

38:29Trying to find the end of some sticky tape, howling, and putting on galoshes.

38:32Yes, it's our Mambo and Camille!

38:34Oh, God.

38:35Howl for 30 seconds.

38:37Ooh!

38:38Ooh!

38:40Ooh!

38:41Ooh!

38:42Ooh!

38:4330 seconds, 30 seconds.

38:45Thank you, Camille.

38:46Lovely howling.

38:47Right, here we go.

38:48Wrap.

38:49Find the end of the sticky tape.

38:51Well, I'll make an end, and then I'll find it.

38:55That was cool.

38:56See, every number between one foot except for the numbers that we've got seven, four,

39:00three.

39:00So, one, two, five, ten.

39:05I can't count and wrap.

39:07Hello, baby.

39:08Hey, Emily, I'm on camera.

39:09Can you just yell at me?

39:10I can't believe how much I love you!

39:13Yeah, I love you too, bye.

39:15Present wrap.

39:16Well done.

39:16Yeah, here we are.

39:17Um, galoshes.

39:19You've done the special thing, by the way.

39:21Have I done the special thing?

39:22Yeah, stop for ten seconds.

39:23Well, right, I'm gonna do that towards the end, I think.

39:26How do I find out what the special thing is?

39:28I guess trial and error.

39:30I've threaded the needle.

39:31Tremendous work.

39:33I neatly wrapped the present.

39:36You've just done the special thing to see you know.

39:41Neatly wrapped the present.

39:43Neatly wrapped the present.

39:46What did I do?

39:47What did I do?

39:49What was the special thing that I did?

39:5141.

39:5243.

39:5346.

39:5547.

39:5649.

39:58How do I be whispered to by a man on the phone?

40:01Is there a number to ring?

40:02There could be quite a lot of numbers you could ring.

40:05Hey, man.

40:05Hey, can you whisper to me?

40:08You're so good, trust master.

40:10You're gonna fail.

40:11Okay, wow, it really does sound like the inside of my own head.

40:13Thank you so much.

40:14Goodbye.

40:15Suck in a pouch.

40:16Pouch.

40:17Pouch.

40:18Pouch.

40:19Where do you think the pouch might be?

40:21Oh, it's not...

40:24Can I have your sock?

40:27What are you looking for?

40:28I did something over here and the thing stopped.

40:30Oh, I see.

40:31Are you trying to do the special thing?

40:32Was it that?

40:33Didn't I do...

40:34Right, there we go.

40:36Well, this might make life easier.

40:50You just did the special thing again.

40:51Is it death?

40:52Yeah.

40:53Touching your head.

40:54Yeah.

40:56Hello?

40:57Hi, could you shout at me?

40:58Just shout at me.

40:59Why the hell did you forget the pins this morning?

41:02You're not shouting.

41:03You've got to shout.

41:08Well, too late.

41:11Goodbye.

41:13I forgot to do that.

41:19So you worked at the special thing and then didn't use the special thing?

41:22I just got stuck in an argument with my wife.

41:27Who just told me I hadn't put the bins out.

41:29And had you not put the bins out?

41:31I hadn't.

41:33Interesting, your partner's declaration of love for you.

41:36Not very British, that.

41:37My wife is not here with me and when I heard her voice, I got teary-eyed.

41:41I really did.

41:42God, it's sickening.

41:46And presumably you've got someone who does the bins for you.

41:50No.

41:50She does the bins.

41:52Oh, she does.

41:53So in the end, Joel, you were last.

41:55You got five out of ten, so one point.

41:57Then Armando got six out of ten, two points.

41:59Kamel and Amy both got seven out of ten, so they share four points each.

42:03The winner of the task, five points.

42:04Nine things completed was Joanna Page.

42:08Well done, Joanna.

42:09OK, everyone.

42:10Please make you wait to the stage for the final task of the show!

42:20Who will read the task?

42:22Kamel Nanjian is going to read the task.

42:24Here we go.

42:25Work out what word the piper is piping.

42:29You may have one guess and may only guess if you are the first to raise both your hands.

42:34First to two correct guesses wins.

42:37This is the piper.

42:38He's called Johnny Pipes.

42:39He'll pipe a word.

42:40You've got to try to work out what the word is.

42:41You have glockenspiels in front of you.

42:43You can try to recognise the notes that he's playing by playing your own glockenspiel.

42:47I am genuinely medically tone deaf.

42:49Medically?

42:51When you think you've got it right, raise both your hands and then you can say your guess when I

42:55point at you.

42:56But if you're wrong, you can't guess any more for that word.

42:58OK.

42:59Just to warn you, he's got to start with a letter E to get the pipes going.

43:04So when he's ready to spell his word, he will have his leg up and he will put it down

43:07to start the word.

43:09Joel, happy?

43:10I'm just going to warn you, I don't understand what's going on.

43:12LAUGHTER

43:12Let's go, Johnny.

43:14Yeah.

43:17BUZZER

43:22BUZZER

43:23You've spelt the first word.

43:25BUZZER

43:27BUZZER

43:28It was low.

43:32BUZZER

43:33Johnny can spell it again if you want it.

43:34BUZZER

43:35Yes, please.

43:35Let's have the word again.

43:44BUZZER

43:47BUZZER

43:48BUZZER

43:49BUZZER

43:50BUZZER

43:51BUZZER

43:52BUZZER

43:53BUZZER

43:55BUZZER

43:56Can I just say, I loved your face when Armando got a word,

44:02but your face went, it works!

44:06BUZZER

44:07BUZZER

44:08Yeah, OK, it's one to Armando, nothing to anyone else yet.

44:13OK.

44:13Ready for the next word?

44:15Leg up, Johnny.

44:19BUZZER

44:20BUZZER

44:23BUZZER

44:24BUZZER

44:24Straight in there. Amy?

44:26Egg!

44:26It is egg!

44:27APPLAUSE

44:30How are you feeling, Joel?

44:31I feel like it's just lovely to listen to music.

44:35LAUGHTER

44:37One to Amy, one to Armando.

44:38The words are now going to get longer.

44:41Oh, God, right.

44:42Leg up, Johnny!

44:49BUZZER

44:55BUZZER

45:01BUZZER

45:02BUZZER

45:03BUZZER

45:05BUZZER

45:05Does anyone know any of the letters of this one?

45:07I feel I'm close, but it doesn't make a word.

45:11BUZZER

45:12BUZZER

45:13BUZZER

45:14BUZZER

45:15BUZZER

45:15I did. I'm sorry clarifies that there. Yeah, so you have to have your hands on your hips. You're out

45:19of this word, Amanda

45:20Can we have it once more, please?

45:23Leg up, Jodie

45:33If Joel gets this, I'm going to explode

45:40Badge

45:49Let's go, Johnny. Leg up, Johnny

46:05What's the word, Amy? Baggett

46:06It is baggett

46:10It's good

46:12It's good

46:14OK, well, I'll bring you down and we'll add that to the final scores

46:17But first, a big round of applause for Johnny

46:19CHEERING

46:21Come down and join me

46:27So, Greg, Joanna and Camille didn't get any right

46:29But they came joint fourth, so they get two points

46:32Amanda and Joel, four points each for getting one right

46:34But the winner of the task, five points for her two correct answers, it's Amy Glendhill

46:42Yeah, and that's enough to make her the winner of the episode with a huge 20 points

46:47Well, yeah!

46:49Amy Glendhill wins

46:51Please go and collect your booty of unquestionable beauty

47:00Here's your winner tonight, Amy Glendhill

47:31Let's go!

47:32Let's go!

47:33Let's go!

47:33Now, what I mean, it's our guy

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