- 7 hours ago
Holidays with the Twins [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
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00:01:06I mean, sometimes change the tune.
00:01:10I've got so much to tell you, but I think I love you, Niles.
00:01:18Sometimes I feel that, and then, I don't know, other times, not so much.
00:01:26Over the last week, I've had a lot of time to think about my life, my future work, you
00:01:31know, what I'm doing, who am I spending it with?
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35And, I don't know, like, the last week, we've connected, you know, better than ever before,
00:01:42but...
00:01:42I need to tell you something.
00:01:44Oh, no, just let me finish.
00:01:45I don't know what it is.
00:01:46Like, something feels different.
00:01:49I mean, it's like the spark in our relationship is back, and it's never been any better.
00:01:54Like, I don't know, maybe it's just me.
00:01:57Maybe I've had a lot of time to think, you know.
00:02:01Don't know.
00:02:08Maybe it's...
00:02:09Isn't it wrong?
00:02:13The one thing I'm sure about...
00:02:18is...
00:02:19I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:02:27Miles, wait.
00:02:31Gemma.
00:02:33Were you married then?
00:02:39I know it's just a band, but I promise you when I get the money, you know, I'll get you
00:02:43a diamond.
00:02:44What do you say?
00:02:51I've got something to come first.
00:02:54What?
00:02:55I'm not Gemma.
00:02:58You are?
00:03:01I'm not Gemma.
00:03:08You are joking, right?
00:03:21Not.
00:03:25I met Gemma just under a week and a half ago.
00:03:29And...
00:03:30It was half a year to be more related, and that we were twins.
00:03:34And...
00:03:34I mean...
00:03:36You were even surprised with the piano play.
00:03:50Myles, please.
00:03:51Can you explain?
00:03:52John, I...
00:03:53You could have just said no, all right?
00:03:55Instead of making that ridiculous story.
00:04:00Look, it's...
00:04:01Miles, please.
00:04:25Let's go.
00:04:27Let's go.
00:04:32Barrel problem?
00:04:34I'm so subtle.
00:05:01Don't blow this rubbish too long.
00:05:03I don't want the electricity guard from roof.
00:05:07Come on, Trace.
00:05:09Have a dance.
00:05:10Yeah, come on, Trace.
00:05:13Some of us have work to do.
00:05:18Wait, you haven't had a job since 1997.
00:05:20It's a bit.
00:05:22Cheeky.
00:05:23I'm working.
00:05:25Alright.
00:05:28Definitely a scam.
00:05:31I don't want money.
00:05:31Oh, sorry.
00:05:45Linda's a tenner mum.
00:05:47Not made of money.
00:05:48Don't be so stingy I don't get paid for another two weeks.
00:05:52I'm sure I can work somewhere out.
00:05:54You want a job? Cash in hand?
00:05:56Sounds good. Want you scheming?
00:05:58Me scheming?
00:06:07Tracee's luxury getaway, isn't this about?
00:06:09No, you, ma.
00:06:10Ma, ma.
00:06:12Okay.
00:06:13You remember that holiday letter scheme I had?
00:06:17Well, you're going to have to be more specific than that.
00:06:19The cockroaches.
00:06:21Oh, gross.
00:06:21Yeah, what about it?
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:22Well, those cheap places, they don't give refunds, do they?
00:06:26They give vouchers.
00:06:28But I ran that scheme five times before they worked it out.
00:06:31Now I've got good credit.
00:06:34Okay.
00:06:35So, I now rent a place, sublet it on my website.
00:06:43I've put a few targeted adverts in posh areas.
00:06:47Surely this can't work?
00:06:49It has.
00:06:51I've just rented an art deco cottage.
00:06:54I've rented it a couple of days either side,
00:06:57so you can go in, sort the place out,
00:06:59then clean up before the real owners get in and check it out.
00:07:04How much then?
00:07:05Fifty quid.
00:07:11Deal.
00:07:17Oh, God, it's me, Ed. What's E1?
00:07:24Hello.
00:07:26Yes, this is she.
00:07:29Yes, I've just got your booking.
00:07:33Oh, I'm just wondering how private and secure your listing is.
00:07:37Yes, the family does need security and a private environment.
00:07:41Don't worry.
00:07:42It's a lovely, quiet area.
00:07:45Perfect for walks.
00:07:47Oh, excellent.
00:07:48One of our parties will be coming and arriving on the Saturday
00:07:53and the rest of the parties will be arriving the following day.
00:07:57Perfect.
00:07:59And you're happy to pay for the security in advance?
00:08:04Oh, yes, of course.
00:08:05That's not a problem.
00:08:07Wonderful.
00:08:09You will, of course, get it back when we've checked over the property
00:08:13after your client leaves.
00:08:15Oh, wonderful.
00:08:17If I have any more questions, I'll give you another ring.
00:08:20I'm happy to have served you, madam.
00:08:23Okay, goodbye.
00:08:24Bye-bye.
00:08:26Is everything gone fat?
00:08:28Oh, yes, Princess.
00:08:29Your getaway makes.
00:08:31Would you like me to tell this in Her Majesty?
00:08:34No, no.
00:08:35I'll tell them at the luncheon.
00:08:37Is anything wrong, Princess?
00:08:39You do look as though you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.
00:08:44I have something to tell them when we're on holiday,
00:08:47and you don't think they're going to be very happy with me.
00:08:50I'm happy to listen.
00:08:53Perhaps I'm just being silly.
00:08:55Anyway, we need to look at next week's schedule.
00:09:01Of course.
00:09:03Is she a child?
00:09:05Mm.
00:09:14Mm.
00:09:16Mm.
00:09:17Mm.
00:09:17Oh, now we're going.
00:09:19James, what are you doing?
00:09:20Are you going to choke?
00:09:21Oh, yes.
00:09:36I told you.
00:09:37Shut up.
00:09:43Do you think there should be more to life than there?
00:09:45What do you mean?
00:09:47I feel stuck, you know.
00:09:49Same old job, same old friends, same old...
00:09:51everything, you know.
00:09:53Until I win lottery or marry a prince, this is all we've got.
00:09:59And what about us?
00:10:00What do you mean?
00:10:01Well, where do you see us heading?
00:10:02I'm not having kids, if that's what you mean.
00:10:04No, I don't mean...
00:10:04My mum will kill me if I make her a grandmother.
00:10:08I'm being silly.
00:10:09She's got a knife in a garage bigger than Rambos.
00:10:14You said you had to see me to tell me, is that it?
00:10:16No, it's my mum.
00:10:22It's my mum!
00:10:24And now...
00:10:25She's going to be a knife.
00:10:25But she's going to be a knife abut.
00:10:26What is it?
00:10:27Which piece is it?
00:10:30Oh, no!
00:10:32Oh!
00:10:40It's gorgeous.
00:10:42A little Bohemian.
00:10:43What do you know about Bohemian?
00:10:45You're a Pomping scout.
00:10:46What do you know about Bohemian?
00:10:47It's a bit trappy.
00:10:49Besides, I wish I could stay here.
00:10:52It's all really spotless.
00:10:53What do we do, then?
00:10:55Well, we've got to clean up her for ourselves,
00:10:56and then we've got to swap the brochures and the guest
00:10:58books to me mum so they think it's hers.
00:11:00Oh, easy.
00:11:02Besides, we wouldn't make that much mess, will we?
00:11:11Did you know what?
00:11:13Mine's don't excite me anymore.
00:11:16What about that fella that tried chatting us up in the club last week?
00:11:19He was fake.
00:11:21Oh, no, not my time.
00:11:23Yeah, well, it miles your time.
00:11:27He used to be, boy.
00:11:29I don't know.
00:11:29No beats my ass.
00:11:46I don't know.
00:11:52I'm sorry.
00:11:53I don't know.
00:11:55Stop.
00:11:56Don't take my pillows away.
00:11:59These are my pillows, Wolf.
00:12:08Oh, my God.
00:12:09They're checking in on that one.
00:12:11Quick away.
00:12:14Keep your head on.
00:12:20Hey.
00:12:22Oh, yeah, Mum.
00:12:23Oh, yeah, we're fine.
00:12:25Just doing final checks and that.
00:12:28Yeah, yeah, when the first person arrives.
00:12:32Yeah, yeah, fine, fine.
00:12:34Yeah, later.
00:12:37I'm going to clean up now.
00:12:40Okay.
00:13:17Oh, great, we're here.
00:13:20Oh, finally.
00:13:22It'd be so good to just relax and not have to think about my duties.
00:13:25And I've just got one last email to send.
00:13:27Oh, okay.
00:13:28I'll go and grab the keys.
00:13:49Oh, excuse me.
00:13:51Morning.
00:13:52Sorry a bit, Lily.
00:13:53No problem.
00:13:55We're just finished.
00:13:56I've got the keys here for you.
00:13:58Oh, thank you.
00:14:01I'll give these to my boss.
00:14:02Right, I'll just go grab my colleague.
00:14:28Where is it?
00:14:30She's there.
00:14:31Oh, is it?
00:14:32Okay, I'm just doing this last little bit.
00:14:33Bebs, Bebs, I'm going to make a dash to the train, all right?
00:14:35Me auntie wants her nails doing and she's always generous.
00:14:40Okay, I'll see you later, sweet.
00:14:48I'm shooting up.
00:14:49Have a lovely step.
00:14:51Oh, thank you.
00:15:00I think I'll go grab the gym.
00:15:02She looks much more relaxing, right?
00:15:03Don't you let it over here?
00:15:05Oh, are you sure you'll be okay?
00:15:07You might just...
00:15:08Oh, yes, there's a little shop just down the road.
00:15:12A corner shop?
00:15:15Have you ever been in a shop before?
00:15:18Is it like handrains?
00:16:01Oh, wow, you really are letting it all hang out, aren't you, princess?
00:16:07Oh, you should put a cardigan on in case of the paparazzi.
00:16:11Oh, and to keep you warm.
00:16:13What?
00:16:15I'll have to run now, princess.
00:16:17Excuse me.
00:16:18Oh.
00:16:20I've got to go and do a shift at the teabag factory and have a hot pot.
00:16:27Oh, you do amuse me, princess.
00:16:29Call me princess again and I'll show you how amusing I can be.
00:16:34There are, love.
00:16:49Sorry, love.
00:16:50I mean, madam, I've just left my phone.
00:16:53I'll just grab it.
00:17:03Oh, you don't mind me.
00:17:13No!
00:17:18Listen, I've had the place redecorated.
00:17:21Now, I've already put in some scratches so they'll knock 10% off, but you'll have to pay for the
00:17:26rest.
00:17:31Maybe it's time your constituencies and your wife found out what it is you get up to.
00:17:40Don't get funny with me, buddy boy.
00:17:42I've still got the photos.
00:17:44You've got plenty of money.
00:17:49Good.
00:17:50That's better.
00:17:52Now, I'll want it in my account by the end of the day.
00:17:57Who was that?
00:17:59Mayor.
00:18:00What?
00:18:01I used to date him about 10 years back.
00:18:05You wouldn't believe the dirt I've got on him.
00:18:10Oh, my gosh.
00:18:12That's a girl I feel sorry for.
00:18:15Anyway, what can I do for you, lover boy?
00:18:19I've come to see Gemma.
00:18:21Oh, she's not here.
00:18:22She's at our holiday cottage.
00:18:25You've got a holiday cottage?
00:18:26Yes.
00:18:27Well, kind of.
00:18:29Anyway, she'll be back in a few hours.
00:18:35This is well bizarre.
00:18:39Maybe we're ducks, Damus.
00:18:41I think they're a bit more than lookalikes, Flower.
00:18:44So, what are we?
00:18:46Who's your dad?
00:18:49Well, my father is king of a small island and a British rule.
00:18:53That's good.
00:18:55Because my mum's the queen of Sheba, love.
00:18:57Is she broken?
00:19:00Oh, I was born in this country.
00:19:03They had to reside here during the coup.
00:19:06The heir of my lord is prone to it, unfortunately.
00:19:09We did try to move back, but ended up right here.
00:19:13So, technically, my father is nothing more than a lord.
00:19:20Well, that sucks.
00:19:22Was your dad a bit of a Lothario?
00:19:24I beg your pardon?
00:19:26I never met me dad.
00:19:28Me mum says they were like ships passing at nine.
00:19:31He might have done everything more than a knight, would they?
00:19:33I mean, 33 years ago.
00:19:36What's your birthday?
00:19:38April 1st.
00:19:40Mine too.
00:19:44But, I'm 39.
00:19:47Fine, alright.
00:19:49I'm 39.
00:19:52We're always little twins.
00:19:53Everything matches.
00:19:54Well, how are we going to find out?
00:19:56Hang on.
00:20:01Where are you?
00:20:02I've got a question for you, mum.
00:20:04Alright, let's pay out.
00:20:06Was my old man a king or the lord?
00:20:09What are you talking about?
00:20:11Are you taking the mick?
00:20:13No, do you reckon he was?
00:20:15He were barely a coat, just a love.
00:20:18Well, I don't suppose you had two kids and gave one away.
00:20:24Have you been drinking again?
00:20:37I mean, it's impossible.
00:20:39My mother gave birth to me.
00:20:41Well, it's a mystery.
00:20:45Hold on.
00:20:48You're kidding me.
00:20:50What?
00:20:50I'm just dreaming.
00:20:52Wait.
00:20:54What the hell, like?
00:20:57You're not dreaming.
00:20:59It's real.
00:21:00Look, I'm going to have to go soon.
00:21:03Why?
00:21:04Yeah, I've got to get back on the grind.
00:21:06I can't sit here with you all day being a princess.
00:21:11Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
00:21:14I can assure you.
00:21:15Yeah, well, try being me.
00:21:18Trying to scrape by with a boring boyfriend
00:21:20who I'm pretty sure can't stand me right now.
00:21:24Let alone me mother.
00:21:25Christ!
00:21:26She's not nice.
00:21:29No.
00:21:30I wouldn't say that, but she's just complicated.
00:21:34She must be doing all right, though.
00:21:37She has a second property.
00:21:39So what's so bad about your life, princess?
00:21:44Well, I'm expected to act a certain way.
00:21:48I'm objecting certain images, but I just don't feel true to myself.
00:21:55I have to have dinners with nords, ladies, politicians, kings and queens sometimes.
00:22:03I mean, I even used to date William before we met Kate.
00:22:09I mean, it's just such an effort having to dress up all the time and be so demure.
00:22:21What is it?
00:22:27Well, we went to a gala a few weeks ago.
00:22:32And there was a lady playing the piano.
00:22:35I've been learning the piano for years, and I stopped to listen to her.
00:22:44But my mother wouldn't let me.
00:22:48She said she was nearly the hire to help.
00:22:50I just didn't understand why they made me learn to play if I wasn't ever able to.
00:23:01I felt so trapped.
00:23:05And she just looked so free.
00:23:08Well, I can tell you being the hire to help ain't what it's cracked up to be.
00:23:14I'd love to feel in part and, you know, be the senator of attention.
00:23:21I have an idea.
00:23:24What?
00:23:27Why don't we swap places for a week?
00:23:30You're having a laugh, aren't you?
00:23:33No.
00:23:34I'm being serious.
00:23:35A week?
00:23:39Why not?
00:23:40We're identical.
00:23:42We just need to go over everything that we need to know.
00:23:50Bugger it.
00:23:51Mine up.
00:23:53You're serious, that is true.
00:24:21You're serious, that is true.
00:24:37Sorry.
00:24:39I know it's late.
00:24:41How are you getting on?
00:24:43Getting there.
00:24:46I have an idea.
00:24:48Keep me with it.
00:24:51Well, I know a photographer and I can get access to his studio in the morning.
00:24:55So we could go through the physical side of it all.
00:24:58What do you mean?
00:25:02Well, you walk like a member of Oasis.
00:25:05No offence.
00:25:07None taken.
00:25:09I need to teach you how to walk, talk and eat like a princess.
00:25:12What next? Poop like a princess.
00:25:15How vulgar.
00:25:18I've got my work cut out for me.
00:25:20Sorry.
00:25:22You get some sleep now.
00:25:24You've got to start early before my family arrives.
00:25:29I want to talk like a princess.
00:25:36I want to walk like a princess.
00:25:42I want to dress to impress like a princess.
00:25:52But I'm not going to be your princess.
00:25:57I'm going to be my own princess.
00:26:00My own princess.
00:26:02Be my own princess.
00:26:10I am going to talk like a princess.
00:26:17I am going to walk like a princess.
00:26:24I am going to dress like a princess.
00:26:30I am going to be my own princess.
00:26:41I am going to be my own princess.
00:26:45I am going to be my own princess.
00:27:03I am going to be my own princess.
00:27:04My mum and my boyfriend want to know where I am.
00:27:07You want to do this?
00:27:10Yeah.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:15I'll get Connie to pick you up from here.
00:27:17And I'll get a new Uber to take to me left.
00:27:19I think.
00:27:24Well, don't Eleanor's isn't anywhere and doesn't hide.
00:27:27No, I didn't get that.
00:27:30We're going to have to swap clothes, too.
00:27:34Oh, this is really comfy.
00:27:38Well, you need to do something.
00:27:40No, shoulders back.
00:27:45You know, good luck.
00:27:47I'll get a taxi to pick you up and drop me off at mine.
00:27:49It's just opposite the flower shop.
00:27:54I'm nervous.
00:27:55Well, I'd say it don't, but my mum can be a bit scarier sometimes.
00:28:12Morning, are you all right?
00:28:14Um, nice.
00:28:17Your family's waiting for you at the holiday cottage.
00:28:21Spiffing.
00:28:22One's high tea.
00:28:24High tea?
00:28:25Yeah, like cucumber sandwiches and all that.
00:28:30All that?
00:28:33Are you playing with me?
00:28:35Oh.
00:28:37Yeah.
00:28:38Um, you got me.
00:28:41After you, your own highness.
00:28:43Oh my god.
00:29:03Oh my god.
00:29:03I do.
00:29:05I do.
00:29:06I do.
00:29:06E-
00:29:07E- E- E- E- E- E- E- E-
00:29:10I mean, have a book.
00:29:14What about you, Ed?
00:29:16Bloody hell, Gemma.
00:29:18I only saw you yesterday.
00:29:21You'd been on the Extra and Siders last night.
00:29:27Well, then.
00:29:28Oh, look.
00:29:36Well, well, well.
00:29:38The Princess returns.
00:29:40Her Majesty has deigned to share her presence.
00:29:44Excuse me.
00:29:47I don't know what you're talking about.
00:29:49So, look.
00:29:51Was Gemma with you last night?
00:29:53No, I thought she was back here.
00:30:00Well, erm...
00:30:01I just fancied a night out.
00:30:04I mean, is that a try?
00:30:06Do what you like.
00:30:08I had to entertain your dopey boyfriend.
00:30:14Oh, Miles, for God's sake.
00:30:16Bloody hell, lad.
00:30:17It's like looking in a butcher's window.
00:30:18Cover yourself up.
00:30:20James?
00:30:20Can we, er...
00:30:21Can we have a chat later?
00:30:22Can we have a can?
00:30:46I can.
00:30:49I can.
00:30:53Oh, come in.
00:30:55Oh, thank God.
00:30:56We've been stuck here without any help for an hour.
00:30:59It's been frightful.
00:31:01We're dying for a cup of tea.
00:31:02I've no idea how the contraption works.
00:31:05The thing.
00:31:07You mean the kettle.
00:31:09Or that.
00:31:10Don't worry, Your Majesty.
00:31:12I'll make the tea.
00:31:14Is Diana here yet?
00:31:16She's outside in the courtyard.
00:31:19Oh, God.
00:31:21All right.
00:31:23Oh, what's the matter, Your Majesty?
00:31:25Since when do you call Father now, Your Majesty and Lady?
00:31:30I'm sorry, Mother.
00:31:32Did Nancy do your make-up?
00:31:35It's too much.
00:31:36You look like one of those American princesses.
00:31:39I did my make-up.
00:31:41Well, it looks like you've used a spray can, darling.
00:31:44Have your sister do it.
00:31:46Nancy has the week off.
00:31:48Diana?
00:31:49Yes, Diana.
00:31:51Go on.
00:31:52Shoo, shoo.
00:31:57Hey, sis.
00:32:01You've never called me sis before.
00:32:04And...
00:32:05heavens, who did your make-up?
00:32:07A mortician?
00:32:09Um, Mother's asked you to help me.
00:32:13Fine.
00:32:23Oh, it's great.
00:32:28Don't make habit of it.
00:32:31Thank you, Diana.
00:32:33I don't think you've thanked me for anything.
00:32:36Oh.
00:32:39Sorry.
00:32:41And you've never apologised, either?
00:32:43Did you get a visit from three ghosts last night?
00:32:46Did they know they're too late for Christmas?
00:32:52What do you think about the holiday cottage?
00:32:55I don't know what possessed you to book this, when we could have gone to Uncle Giles' chateau in Monaco.
00:33:01I think it's nice to switch things up a little.
00:33:04You're odd today, Carinthia.
00:33:06Very, very odd.
00:33:08I'm just happy to see you.
00:33:10Ew.
00:33:11Look, just pick out a nice dress.
00:33:14Daddy's been invited to love with Nell's latest gathering.
00:33:16Where to make our token appearances.
00:33:20Is it going to be posh?
00:33:23Lords, dignitaries, royalty.
00:33:26Not much at all, darling.
00:33:29Did you bang your head?
00:33:51All right, love.
00:33:52Post time better, will you?
00:34:22Um, this is an open bar, is it not?
00:34:28The bar is paid for, yes.
00:34:33Drink Connie?
00:34:36I can't, I'm working.
00:34:39I think you just need to relax.
00:34:42You look a bit all uptight.
00:34:50Come on, let's go out.
00:34:58Better get off soon, covering someone's shift.
00:35:03I really want to go clubbing tonight instead.
00:35:05Oh, I don't, yeah.
00:35:08Cos if I don't work, I don't get paid.
00:35:10Don't get paid, can't pay me bill.
00:35:12On and on it goes.
00:35:13Right?
00:35:14You can't just ask for some money off your parents.
00:35:16That's my jailbird, Daddy.
00:35:20If you had a loob buried somewhere,
00:35:21I wouldn't tell me where it was.
00:35:23Mum's more broke than me.
00:35:28How long have we known each other now?
00:35:32Blimey.
00:35:33What were we?
00:35:35Ball, pies, back in primary school.
00:35:38And a lifetime of shenanigans ever since.
00:35:45Did I ever tell you about me, Dad?
00:35:47Only that your mum didn't know who it was.
00:35:50She thinks she's lying about that.
00:35:54Honestly, I never know where you're, Ma.
00:35:56What, she's a lover.
00:36:00Should we get ready for Miles?
00:36:03Yeah.
00:36:04Look, if you're going to dump him,
00:36:07let him down gently.
00:36:08All right?
00:36:10He's a nice guy.
00:36:12Why was she...
00:36:13I mean, why would I dump him?
00:36:14How about Armie Grant?
00:36:15Do you remember her?
00:36:16Or Daphne Breen?
00:36:18Huh?
00:36:18Oh, never mind.
00:36:20Go easy on him.
00:36:22All right?
00:36:24Yeah, OK.
00:36:26Do you know the way to Nashall?
00:36:28That's where I've got a meeting.
00:36:29You don't remember?
00:36:31Well, not exactly, no.
00:36:32Oh, try a cab with me.
00:36:33We'll dump you off on the way, sweet.
00:36:35Mm.
00:36:56Honestly, Carinthia,
00:36:59I've never seen you act like that before.
00:37:10What were you drinking?
00:37:13Not beer, was it?
00:37:15It was bitter, Papa.
00:37:18A princess does not drink bitter beer, lager, or anything you might find in a public house.
00:37:28Unless it's high-cast spirits, like champagne.
00:37:33And good champagne at that.
00:37:35Can I not drink cider?
00:37:38What?
00:37:39It was a genuine question.
00:37:41Carinthia, you need to start to improve your behaviour.
00:37:45We have our reputation to uphold.
00:37:50Show some decorum.
00:37:52Not that, OK.
00:37:59Well, that went surprisingly well.
00:38:05Anyway, what's the decorum?
00:38:10It's like etiquette.
00:38:12You took classes in it.
00:38:24You've upset your father, you m'lady.
00:38:27I'm 39, you're mad.
00:38:29Mother.
00:38:31Well, perhaps you should act like it.
00:38:33Now, we have something important for you to do next week.
00:38:36Father has some friends in Switzerland.
00:38:38Very upper crust.
00:38:40He's told them you spent two years at RADA and performed plays across Europe.
00:38:45Why'd you tell them that?
00:38:48Because you did, Carinthia.
00:38:51So, we'd like you to do a short performance for them.
00:38:55We've booked a rehearsal space in two days.
00:38:58We'll let you know what play it is when we decide.
00:39:01But you know them all off by heart, anyway.
00:39:05Gee.
00:39:07Thanks.
00:39:09Stick to her like glue.
00:39:11Make sure she's focused.
00:39:12And no more foolishness.
00:39:15OK, Connie?
00:39:16Yes, Your Majesty.
00:39:32Myles?
00:39:35Hello?
00:39:37Are you here?
00:39:42Myles?
00:39:45Myles?
00:39:49Myles?
00:40:00Myles?
00:40:19Myles?
00:41:42Gemma, that was amazing. Like, I'm genuinely stunned.
00:41:48It was nothing.
00:41:50Why didn't you say you could play music? I mean, I know you went to acting school, but music? You
00:41:56should have said.
00:41:59People like me don't get to show off, really. Besides, one cares.
00:42:05I care. I love music.
00:42:09You do?
00:42:12You know I do. I used to play when I was younger.
00:42:14I do. No one here as good as I. That was... That was brilliant.
00:42:26It's just nothing.
00:42:28Yeah. It's not a bad place to work, is it?
00:42:34What do you do?
00:42:37Gemma, I told you about this last time I was here.
00:42:41Like, you're in your own pub sometimes, I sort of.
00:42:44I'm the maintenance guy, so I make sure the stage mechanics and the sound are ticked up.
00:42:51How marvelous.
00:43:00I need to lock up now, okay? So, why don't we go for a walk and go to the pub?
00:43:06Have a game of darts?
00:43:08Yeah, let's have a game of darts and a few drinks.
00:43:11Um, why don't we go on a walk? I mean, it's a lovely day out, and, uh, do you know
00:43:20any good viewpoints?
00:43:25Sure, yeah. And maybe we can have a chat about things.
00:43:36You sure it's not dodgy?
00:43:38Would I do anything dodgy?
00:43:41Yeah, why'd you get him?
00:43:43The random line at, uh, a jewelers I do some cleaning at.
00:43:47They were just going to throw it out, don't we?
00:43:49Ow!
00:43:50Not a cabbage trace. It's a story.
00:43:56Hey, what's up in it?
00:43:59Even some diamonds.
00:44:01Of course, I'll give them a cut once we've sold it.
00:44:05But what I need you to do is to pass it off on a couple of porn shops in town.
00:44:09Why can't you do it?
00:44:11You know I would.
00:44:12But I've heard many.
00:44:13And technically, I'm on disability benefits, so, uh, they can't sit me rushing up and downtown.
00:44:20You know, between porn shops.
00:44:23Hmm. Think about it.
00:44:25I don't think too long, love.
00:44:36Oh, be careful.
00:44:38You all right?
00:44:40Yeah.
00:44:43You know, it's so beautiful out here.
00:44:47It's so peaceful.
00:44:50Yeah, I know. It's, it's, well, I come up here quite a lot, you know, to clear my head, and...
00:44:57Yeah, I can see why.
00:45:00Really?
00:45:02Well, this, this isn't your cup of tea, James.
00:45:04Right?
00:45:05You, you never really wanted to do this.
00:45:07Well, more for me, innit?
00:45:09Heh, heh.
00:45:12Yeah, I suppose.
00:45:17You cold?
00:45:18Yeah, it's chillier than I thought.
00:45:22Come here.
00:45:27This isn't normal.
00:45:28Really?
00:45:29Yeah.
00:45:31But, right now, normally it's a Huggins woke and whack your ass off.
00:45:41What did you need to tell me?
00:45:50Do you think we're good together?
00:45:51What do you mean?
00:45:53I don't know. Sometimes I feel like you're not really that into me.
00:45:58No, I'm sorry.
00:46:00Sometimes I just get caught up in myself.
00:46:03Look.
00:46:05You're really warm-hearted and you're wonderful.
00:46:08I mean, is that...
00:46:09That's a bit forward of me to say.
00:46:12Not really, James.
00:46:13Like, we've...
00:46:14We have been going out for a year now.
00:46:22Come on.
00:46:24Shall I get you home?
00:46:25Hmm.
00:46:50something that i tell you won't care sister you never do
00:46:55of course i did shouldn't you be offering a grovelling apology to mumsy and dadsy
00:47:01dadsy already gave me a rollicking rollicking yeah you know what i mean
00:47:09must say i find it rather amusing
00:47:17okay sis what's his name what's he doing how on earth do you know
00:47:25hmm i knew that not come on then melody bomb
00:47:32it's nathaniel he's up to his old tricks again father is insistent that he's going to make an
00:47:40excellent husband but he's only considering nathaniel's family and their standing
00:47:46as for nathaniel himself
00:47:49so he's more on that
00:47:53yes i suppose so
00:47:58he might have been born with wealth but not so much of a brain
00:48:05that is nathaniel done
00:48:09oh he can't keep his hands off the mates
00:48:13his father set a fire several of the house staff for fraternizing with nathaniel after dark
00:48:20yeah so he can't be trusted
00:48:22god it's ridiculous
00:48:24these men in high society are almost expected to behave like this and suffer no consequences
00:48:29hmm you should suffer consequences like a swift need to the family jewels
00:48:35sister perhaps you're right besides those 12 months studying judo under grandmaster
00:48:45dakashi that father paid for i suppose i could put them to good use
00:48:55whatever you do
00:48:59don't settle for second best
00:49:03always follow your heart
00:49:06i mean you might not always be right
00:49:10would it be your bad
00:49:13and not father's judgment
00:49:18i suppose i should get ready to face him
00:49:21i'm going to nathaniel's family manor tonight with momzie and dad see
00:49:29forget the bit about the knee to the spuds
00:49:34just be firm
00:49:37and honest
00:50:01a cup of tea
00:50:06I'm sure
00:50:09I'm not so surprised
00:50:12You've never made a cup of tea before
00:50:14You usually ask me
00:50:18Well, I can assure you that I make a grape
00:50:21So sit down, relax, take away off
00:50:27You seem very different
00:50:49I'm impressed
00:50:51It's only a cup of tea, Connie
00:50:56Anyway, I've been an agony aunt all day
00:50:59So if you want to chat, go away
00:51:02Me?
00:51:04Chat
00:51:06About what?
00:51:10Your love life?
00:51:13My love life?
00:51:15Good God
00:51:17If you want to talk about disasters
00:51:19Let's talk about, I don't know, Pompeii or Titanic
00:51:25So there's no man in your life?
00:51:28No
00:51:28No ma'am
00:51:31No woman either
00:51:35The truth is, working for a family of royals
00:51:39Takes all my time
00:51:41Don't get me wrong
00:51:42I do love it
00:51:44But it takes all my time
00:51:47And I am on call 24-7
00:51:50Well, we need to set some boundaries and some terms
00:51:54What?
00:51:54You know, workers' rights and all that
00:52:00You, of all people
00:52:02Are saying that?
00:52:08Anyway
00:52:09This tea
00:52:10Looks like it needs biscuits
00:52:13And I know you work with the royals
00:52:15And probably love a rich tea
00:52:18I prefer a custard cream
00:52:21Me too
00:52:23Do you know what?
00:52:25I've got some upstairs in my suitcase
00:52:29My guilty pleasure
00:52:31Go grab them then
00:52:43Yeah, I've got my daughter's mate to do it
00:52:46She's going to do the ones for me
00:52:48It's a bit scary, but
00:52:50I reckon there's a fair few grand there
00:52:53How do you think I've got it?
00:52:56Five-finger discount, mate
00:52:59Oh, yeah
00:53:00You'd be surprised at what I've stolen
00:53:16Whatever she's told you to do, don't do it
00:53:18Why not?
00:53:19Well, I think she's doing something unlawful
00:53:22So, God, right
00:53:22So what?
00:53:24You can't take the risk for someone else
00:53:27Lighten up, gems
00:53:28You've been well uptight lately
00:53:32Come on
00:53:33Let's have a rave
00:53:44Come on
00:53:45Come on
00:53:45I'm in love with the way
00:53:49Oh, Christ
00:53:50Look at my right there
00:53:51We're passing strings
00:53:52Come on
00:54:00That's more like it
00:54:02Space beat
00:54:03Woo!
00:54:06Woo!
00:54:07Woo!
00:54:09Woo!
00:54:12Woo!
00:54:13Woo!
00:54:14Woo!
00:54:15Woo!
00:54:16Woo!
00:54:17Woo!
00:54:18Woo!
00:54:19Woo!
00:54:43This is
00:54:44This is much nicer
00:54:50Yes, actually
00:54:52Yes, actually
00:54:55Yes, actually
00:55:21What are you two girls doing?
00:55:27We were just dancing, Your Majesty
00:55:29Dancing? Why?
00:55:31That
00:55:33I was teaching her how to dance
00:55:35If I had a reason for Carina to dance
00:55:38We would have hired a teacher
00:55:41From the Royal London School of Ballet
00:55:44To teach her
00:55:46We've tried that once, Raul
00:55:48She has no rhythm
00:55:49Like Bambi on Ice
00:55:51Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course
00:55:54A word, colony
00:56:05Yeah, come in to your seat.
00:56:08Right, come in to your mind, gentlemen.
00:56:12I think you need to start to focus a bit.
00:56:15We've got a busy year ahead.
00:56:18It's very important that everybody is on the bond.
00:56:22You have a reputation, too.
00:56:24Right, you are, Kingy.
00:56:26Kingy?
00:56:28Sorry, Father.
00:56:31Prepare for a performance to the theatre.
00:56:34I want to see your Midsummer Night's Dream.
00:56:39On the best.
00:56:41Perhaps, Hamlet?
00:56:43What?
00:56:45Prepare yourself.
00:56:48You'll do a pre-run the day after tomorrow.
00:56:52And then next week, you'll perform in Switzerland.
00:56:59This is bad.
00:57:00I mean, I haven't acted in years in Shakespeare.
00:57:04It's so old.
00:57:07He's dead in me.
00:57:10I should hope so.
00:57:19To be or not to be.
00:57:27It's just too much for me.
00:57:31I'm not what you want me to be.
00:57:34To be or not to be.
00:57:40To be or not to be.
00:58:02To be or not to be.
00:58:08To be or not to be.
00:58:17To be.
00:58:18It's just too much for me.
00:58:23I'm not what you want me to be.
00:58:50I'm not what you want.
00:58:51I'm not what you want me to be.
00:58:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:58:54Um, I'll stay out of your way.
00:58:57And then we can go to the park.
00:59:12Oh, no, it's Miss Frempton.
00:59:18Is it?
00:59:19I think it's okay.
00:59:20Yeah, um, the lights are on.
00:59:22The theatre's yours.
00:59:24The caretaker will be back later to lock up when you're done.
00:59:26And I just need to go back inside to pack some stuff away and then I'll be gone.
00:59:34This is King Ralph, Queen Christine and their daughter, Princess Diana, of the Isle of Marwood.
00:59:43Um, it's a real honour to meet you.
00:59:46I'm so sorry about my squirtly parents.
00:59:48Oh, I'm not at all. You're comfortable with working very hard.
00:59:51Yeah, I do my best.
00:59:54Can you show us to the theatre?
00:59:58Miss Corinthians here.
00:59:59Doing warm-up exercise, apparently.
01:00:05This way.
01:00:09Right, you get ready and then head over to the maze stage.
01:00:14Do you want me to tell you where it is?
01:00:16I know where it is.
01:00:18Oh.
01:00:20Well, good luck then.
01:00:26Oh.
01:00:28Sorry, I thought...
01:00:34Honey!
01:00:35Honey!
01:00:48Drink.
01:00:52Like...
01:01:00What's going on?
01:01:03Come on, darling. We haven't got all day.
01:01:14What's the matter with you?
01:01:17You've been through Summer Night's Dream a hundred times.
01:01:21I'm so stressed. I've got so much going on here.
01:01:24I just can't remember anything.
01:01:27Can you remember anything?
01:01:31You know, the passage from Romeo and Juliet.
01:01:38I need you to be my own king.
01:01:41Time, fine.
01:01:54Romeo.
01:01:57Romeo.
01:02:01Will you fall out?
01:02:04I remue.
01:02:08Can I, pal,
01:02:11will not
01:02:12but be swung
01:02:16by love
01:02:19and I no longer be a cabinet?
01:02:33What did I do?
01:02:47Are you okay, Your Majesty?
01:02:50It's silly, really. I just have bittersweet memories of that play. I was watching a performance of Romeo and Juliet
01:02:59when my waters broke.
01:03:01Well, not very legal behaviour on my part. I'll be back out in a second.
01:03:13I think we'll call it a dance performance.
01:03:20I think we'll call it a dance performance. It was okay. I liked it, Quincy. But I think we've been
01:03:26better off with one of the other plays. Mother wasn't a fan.
01:03:31Well, I think it was a play she was watching while she was in labour.
01:03:38Oh, dear.
01:03:43Oh, my darling child. My little Juliet. I do wonder where you are.
01:03:59Mother, are you okay?
01:04:02I'm sorry, my darling. I was being silly.
01:04:07Did you change already?
01:04:10I'm just going for you.
01:04:15Who's Juliet with her?
01:04:17I'll wait out front. We can join you there.
01:04:33Hey.
01:04:34Hey.
01:04:36Hey.
01:04:49Well, that's what Stacy said. Your mother's old cellmate.
01:04:54That's impossible.
01:04:55Is it, Jenna?
01:04:58We're twins.
01:04:59I mean, I know she messed up, but I just can't imagine her stealing a baby.
01:05:13Only me.
01:05:15Oh, sorry. His Majesty wants his golf cardigan. We simply can't play without it, apparently.
01:05:22Who'd have thought such young people would have been so important, eh?
01:05:35Oh, my.
01:05:39Go.
01:05:40Go.
01:05:42Go.
01:06:07Oh, are you okay, Connie?
01:06:10Corincia?
01:06:12Yeah, it's me.
01:06:19Gemma.
01:06:28So it was you this past week.
01:06:32I knew something was different.
01:06:36You're the bitter drinker.
01:06:38Bitter?
01:06:42That's not important.
01:06:50I'll let Gemma explain. It's all got rather complicated.
01:06:55So it better be good.
01:07:00Your devious mother, sublet of this place, we don't even know on it.
01:07:04I met Corincia when you checked in. I mean, it was obvious we were related and we just wanted to
01:07:09know the truth.
01:07:12But you swapped places.
01:07:15Can you hear what I say?
01:07:17She was tired of her life and...
01:07:21Well, I just wanted to know what it felt like to be a princess for a while.
01:07:26I mean, we knew deep down it had something to do with my mum, if I can even call her
01:07:32that.
01:07:35What did she do?
01:07:37Well, it turns out she stole her baby when she was in prison on the basis of the mother didn't
01:07:44need to.
01:07:45That's awful.
01:07:46Yeah, and the king and queen kept it quiet.
01:07:51Well, I never heard anything about it. I can assure you.
01:07:55Yeah, but we need proof.
01:07:59We need to get evidence off my mum.
01:08:02You have to tell the kingdom queen.
01:08:04We need to sort my mum, Tracy, out for this.
01:08:09And then we'll tell the king.
01:08:11I kept wondering why your voice was different.
01:08:14And the accent kept slipping.
01:08:20Look, this is the real me.
01:08:23I'm just a gobby Yorkshire lass.
01:08:27Yeah.
01:08:29I quite like it.
01:08:33I don't know what this means between us, dog.
01:08:41Us.
01:08:44I like you.
01:08:46I really like you.
01:08:50Oh.
01:08:52Well.
01:09:15This will take some explaining to do.
01:09:18To my employers.
01:09:23Oh.
01:09:41Juliette.
01:09:42What are you doing in my room?
01:09:45How could you?
01:09:47What?
01:09:48That's nothing.
01:09:49Why did you lie to me, Tracy?
01:09:52How did you find out?
01:09:55Well, it turns out, I met my twin sister, the bonafide princess, when my real family checked into the holiday
01:10:02cottage.
01:10:03Royals.
01:10:05Royals.
01:10:05I knew they were rich, but royals.
01:10:08I've got an idea.
01:10:09You're coming with me to the cottage.
01:10:11I'm not.
01:10:12We're going to the police.
01:10:13Oh, don't test me.
01:10:16After all, you're not my daughter, are you?
01:10:19Yeah.
01:10:20Now, come on.
01:10:22Get off me!
01:10:28Pussed creams.
01:10:29Are you sure?
01:10:33Live a little.
01:10:38There's no other way to say it no more than a daddy.
01:10:41You've not brought Shane on the family, have you?
01:10:45No.
01:10:48But, I have a confession to make.
01:10:52Over the past week, it hasn't been me.
01:10:56Say, girl.
01:10:57You were here this one, weren't you?
01:10:59It wasn't me.
01:11:00She might have started her experimental phase, darling.
01:11:06What have you taken, Carinthia?
01:11:10I'm not high.
01:11:14Let me shed some light.
01:11:17It couldn't be.
01:11:19My Juliet, it must be you.
01:11:22Not so fast, Queenie.
01:11:24Stay there.
01:11:26Who are you?
01:11:27I'm her mother.
01:11:28You're not.
01:11:30I raise you, you ungrateful cow.
01:11:33Oi!
01:11:34You!
01:11:35There!
01:11:36You aren't Princess.
01:11:38Sit down.
01:11:40What in heavens is happening, Mummy?
01:11:53Get me the police.
01:11:55Now!
01:11:57You're taking this too far, Jamesy!
01:12:00Stop it!
01:12:00It's too late!
01:12:01I ain't going anywhere without some royal treasure.
01:12:04Oh, sure.
01:12:05We've got the crown jewels in our suitcase.
01:12:07Don't try and fool me, King Moron.
01:12:10You wouldn't go anywhere without thousands of quid's worth of valuables on you.
01:12:14I bet Queenie doesn't leave the house without some diamonds on her person.
01:12:18So hand it over.
01:12:19This family reunion is going to be short-lived.
01:12:23I've got time.
01:12:25Treasure.
01:12:26Jewels.
01:12:27Valuables.
01:12:28Now!
01:12:29I have nothing.
01:12:31Oh, come on.
01:12:32Otherwise Gemma or Juliet or whatever her bleeding name is, now she's going to get it.
01:12:37What's about a bank transfer?
01:12:40Good idea.
01:12:42I like you, Princess.
01:12:43I want a million quid.
01:12:45Now!
01:12:49For God's sake, Daddy, just let me.
01:12:52Hey, hey!
01:12:52It'll be quicker if I do it.
01:12:54Fine.
01:12:55Get on with it.
01:12:58What's in your account number?
01:13:12Hey!
01:13:12Yeah!
01:13:13Oh, come on, Mummy.
01:13:18Good thing we had that year learning from Grandmaster Takashi, hey?
01:13:30We're arresting you on suspicion of theft, handling and distribution of stolen goods, blackmail, kidnapping, attempted assault, attempted murder, and
01:13:38let's see what else.
01:13:41Fraud.
01:13:41Fraud.
01:13:42Yeah, fraud.
01:13:43You didn't have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention one question and
01:13:47you think that you'll later rely on in court.
01:13:50I treated you alright, didn't I?
01:13:52We had some good times, didn't we?
01:13:58What possessed you?
01:13:59What possessed you to switch places with your sister?
01:14:03I just needed a break, Daddy.
01:14:06We can't keep living by all these rules and restrictions.
01:14:09It's almost like you don't trust us to live the lives we've always wished, without being able to hold the
01:14:15family name.
01:14:16I'm sorry, Cointia.
01:14:19I'm sorry it puts so much pressure on you and I. My father did the same with us. It's heavy
01:14:28weight of the crown.
01:14:31But we have to evolve with the times. I mean, some of the traditions are just so archaic. I have
01:14:38to fly to Switzerland next week and perform Shakespeare.
01:14:40Listen, Cointia, really. You don't have to go.
01:14:46No, Daddy, I'll go.
01:14:48But I have a better idea. His lordship. He loves Chopin, right?
01:14:56Yes.
01:14:59Well, maybe I could play the piano for him instead.
01:15:06Okay, okay.
01:15:10I knew something didn't make sense this last week.
01:15:13Winfrey was rarely that nice to me.
01:15:15I think perhaps this family all need to be a bit more open and respectful with each other.
01:15:20So, what should we call you now, sis? Gemma or Juliet?
01:15:25Well, I'll make us all a brew and then I'll just decide.
01:15:28I mean, I like Gemma, but I really like Juliet.
01:15:32And I guess I know why not.
01:15:35I know.
01:15:36Why not?
01:15:44We've got something to tell you all.
01:15:54I'm right.
01:15:56I'm okay.
01:16:22I can't understand.
01:16:24Because I'm not leaving me alone.
01:16:35I told you. I'm not Gem.
01:16:41Not this again.
01:16:48She's telling truth me, Ed.
01:16:54What? Do I think... I...
01:17:00Wiles, for the past week, I feel you head over hairs in love with you.
01:17:07Gems, I didn't know anything about this. I'm sorry.
01:17:11Yet and all. But go on, big boy. You have me a blessing.
01:17:20The question is...
01:17:23Does your previous officer stand?
01:17:27Good night.
01:17:37Well...
01:17:38Funnily enough...
01:17:40I kept it on me just in case.
01:17:41Gems...
01:17:42I was...
01:17:46What the hell?
01:17:49He...
01:17:53Ah...
01:17:55It was a...
01:17:57No.
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