- 3 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me I hate who you are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm ValleyQueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, Skylifter Queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:14But on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it!
00:01:20This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:40Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:46God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:49It's ruined!
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey!
00:01:57I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's cool!
00:02:05He's so hot!
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:30You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, player cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:41You were a...
00:02:42Eh...
00:02:45Asshole!
00:02:50Alright.
00:02:51I broke something of yours.
00:02:54Sure, but...
00:02:55Hey!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:07Don't do it, Hailey.
00:03:10Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it!
00:03:15I got a hot mess energy
00:03:21Oh fuck
00:03:23Now we're even
00:03:24My laptop better not be broken
00:03:26I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:37You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:39I'm going to make every classroom
00:03:42Every hallway and every rumor
00:03:45In this school you're a personal nightmare
00:03:48I'm going to make your life a living out
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl
00:03:55Yeah, idiot
00:03:56I can see that
00:03:59Just met an unhinged person
00:04:01Good thing the universe balances it with you
00:04:04Same
00:04:05Ran into a certified asshole
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight
00:04:11Cole, do you need to go?
00:04:12Do you need help?
00:04:13I can help you
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him
00:04:18This bitch thinks that she can just roll up
00:04:20And piss off Michael
00:04:21But he's not your Cole
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsay
00:04:24He's not yet
00:04:26Come on
00:04:29Hi, I'm Jen
00:04:30And this is Lindsay
00:04:33Hi, I'm Hailey
00:04:34So nice to meet you
00:04:36You have first day jitters?
00:04:37That's totally understandable
00:04:38We want to make sure you feel really welcome
00:04:40And so we'll take you to your locker
00:04:42Good
00:04:44Let's go
00:04:49There you go
00:04:50Thanks so much
00:05:12Aw, you're welcome new girl
00:05:14Honestly it's kind of an improvement on your face
00:05:22Guacamole wizard
00:05:23Wow
00:05:24What are you catfishing?
00:05:25Some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:28Give it back
00:05:29Hold on
00:05:31Hey, if you go to Edmonds Academy
00:05:33You should come to locker 83 right now
00:05:36Send
00:05:36Here
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first Max, at least check on me
00:05:48Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:50Ah, chill, please
00:05:54No way
00:05:55What is it?
00:05:57Oh, the Hell Queen goes to the school
00:06:04Please ignore that
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:06:08Send
00:06:12What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You messed with Cole Edmonds and you're gonna mess with me
00:06:17Edmonds?
00:06:18What?
00:06:19You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:21Wow, you really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me
00:06:29Jen is a new girl
00:06:30Wait
00:06:32Is the new girl...
00:06:33Valley Queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen
00:06:38Could it be...
00:06:39Jen?
00:06:42Ew
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy Cole
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl knows that
00:06:51No chances Jen
00:06:52So is it
00:06:54She does look kinda cute
00:06:58Even I can feel the tension in the room
00:07:01But we're into the fuck
00:07:03Please ignore that
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:07:06What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover
00:07:14Hey there, buttercup
00:07:15Keep walking, Hayley
00:07:17Just keep walking
00:07:18You got a problem with shaving this morning, or?
00:07:22My name's Hayley
00:07:24Well...
00:07:25Hayley
00:07:25I think you uh...
00:07:27You used to spell on your upper lip right there
00:07:31What a coincidence
00:07:33So did you!
00:07:34Oh no!
00:07:37Oh, I'm sorry
00:07:39I forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:41You're just a man-child with follicle issues
00:07:47Whoever ends up with her must have failed an eye exam
00:08:02I was so relieved to see you
00:08:03Something happened today
00:08:05I lost the game, I thought I'd never see you again
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:11And what is this?
00:08:13What I think it is, is...
00:08:15I wanna be with you
00:08:17And you wanna be with me
00:08:19As more than just friends
00:08:21Oh, thank God
00:08:23I honestly want that more than anything
00:08:25You're my soul mate
00:08:27Like, I like you so much
00:08:28Okay, well, since we're dating now
00:08:31Um...
00:08:32I'm ready to send my photo
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah, get ready
00:08:44Okay, no face
00:08:45Just the boobs
00:08:47Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:53All the kids do this
00:08:55You'll love it
00:09:00This lighting hates me
00:09:02Come on, Hayley
00:09:03Confidence
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online
00:09:11Okay, yeah
00:09:13That's actually kind of
00:09:14Oh my God, seriously?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me!
00:09:28Don't look at me!
00:09:29We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:31I don't think you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:33Get out! Now!
00:09:35Fine
00:09:35Ow!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:40What's wrong?
00:10:15You're helping me?
00:10:16Yeah, well, I didn't plan on it, but here we are
00:10:26Excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:28We got a little boyfriend, do we?
00:10:30That is shocking
00:10:31Yeah, actually
00:10:32And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw you were flirting with me
00:10:35Flirting?
00:10:36Yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:37I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:38My thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:40Funny
00:10:41Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:46Fine by me
00:10:49Oh no
00:10:51Oh no
00:10:52With all the purple bra, by the way
00:10:53I like it in a weird way
00:10:55Not even my type, but
00:10:57You know, power theory
00:10:58Or whatever
00:10:59Would you just get out of here?
00:11:09Hopefully guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:13Jen, red alert
00:11:14Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:17I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:21Don't be a coward
00:11:22Just send it
00:11:23Jen
00:11:28Oh my god
00:11:29Here goes nothing
00:11:38Still no response?
00:11:40Don't freak out, he's probably just busy
00:11:46Give it back
00:11:46Why?
00:11:47You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50Oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:52Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:55Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:57Got it
00:12:01What are you doing?
00:12:05It's so bad
00:12:11Oh my god
00:12:15Oh my god
00:12:17My god
00:12:17Oh my god
00:12:17Oh my god
00:12:18Oh my god
00:12:19My god
00:12:21I do
00:12:23What's up?
00:12:24What's up?
00:12:27Holy shit
00:12:28Oh
00:12:30Yo, what's going on dude your enemies new just got put up on the big screen. What's yeah?
00:12:51Those are photoshopped
00:13:08Oh my brave knight, I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:16My god, oh cool fair and it was kind of hot since you're so into slutty photos
00:13:23Why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:28No
00:13:47My school enemy is my online girlfriend
00:13:51Get off of me
00:13:53Stop it
00:13:56Oh my god
00:13:58Oh my god
00:13:59Oh my god
00:14:06Hey
00:14:07You okay?
00:14:10I
00:14:11Give that to me
00:14:18Now give the phone back Jen
00:14:20What the hell Cole? I thought you'd be happy
00:14:28How does it feel being exposed to the whole school? Not good huh? Now if you don't delete it off
00:14:32your phone, I'm exposed to what else is fake about you
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse
00:14:38Oh
00:14:38Why are you even defending her? She's the loser who has nude photos for random men
00:14:43Haley's got more personality than all of you combined
00:14:45And if you mess with her, you mess with me
00:14:48You hear me?
00:14:53Haley, are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now?
00:14:55Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone
00:14:59Alright
00:15:00Haley!
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole
00:15:06And he said we were enemies
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:14Don't stay up too late honey
00:15:17Love you mom
00:15:19Wait mom
00:15:24Do people change?
00:15:27Like
00:15:28Can a spoiled brat
00:15:30Somehow
00:15:32Become nice?
00:15:34Well maybe just give them a second chance
00:15:54What's up there huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:15:58They're my favorite
00:16:00Noted
00:16:00Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag
00:16:03I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship
00:16:08Oh
00:16:09I'm really proud of you
00:16:11And then there's this guy
00:16:12He has this vendetta against me
00:16:14But at the same time he's super contradictory
00:16:17It's so confusing
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:22No, I'm not into this guy
00:16:24I like you
00:16:25Only you
00:16:32I really liked your photo by the way
00:16:33You did?
00:16:34Are you gonna risk for Kate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person
00:16:38That sounds amazing
00:16:40When? Where?
00:16:41About after school
00:16:42At the balcony
00:16:43I'll bring flowers
00:16:44Deal
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend
00:17:05Stop thinking about Cole
00:17:15Army father?
00:17:16I heard about you harassing Jen at school today
00:17:19Defending that nobody
00:17:21Haley girl
00:17:22He's not a nobody dad
00:17:23Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Haley is Cole?
00:17:36I know what Haley is Cole
00:17:37Her mother works as a maid at my office
00:17:39That whole family is trash
00:17:41Stay away from her
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away from Haley Cole
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:52I'm almost 18
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance
00:17:55I hate to make Haley wait but
00:17:56She can't know who I am before I make sure her family is safe
00:18:01You're sick
00:18:04It's called watching out for your future
00:18:11Oh, hi
00:18:13I'm Haley
00:18:14Yes
00:18:16So nice to meet you
00:18:18God
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name
00:18:21But the moment she knows
00:18:22I lose her forever
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers
00:18:28You're so nice
00:18:33Guacamole wizard
00:18:35Fail
00:18:39Guacamole wizard
00:18:40Ew
00:18:42You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend
00:18:45Pathetic
00:18:46Maybe he's married
00:18:47Or maybe he's fat
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his life video
00:18:53I don't want any more trouble
00:18:56Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch
00:19:02And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich
00:19:12Eat it
00:19:19Call me!
00:19:21So you think that you can just humiliate me
00:19:23In front of the entire school?
00:19:26You're a maid's daughter
00:19:27So you can go ahead and eat trash
00:19:30Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:32You
00:19:32Oh and by the way
00:19:33Cole's not gonna come save you
00:19:35Because after all, he's rich
00:19:37Like me
00:19:42I'm nothing like you
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you
00:19:50Cole again?
00:19:51Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:54Pick it up
00:19:55Cole, we were kidding
00:19:57It's ketchup
00:19:58Pick that bloody thing up
00:20:03I think you're gonna record this
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:15Don't think you have leverage here
00:20:17Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:20You're gonna hold that thing next to your face
00:20:22And do what I say
00:20:25I
00:20:26Will leave Haley alone
00:20:30I
00:20:30I will leave Haley alone
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah
00:20:36Let's go
00:20:38What are you looking at?
00:20:43Got it? Let's go
00:20:52Uh, thank you
00:20:54Wow
00:20:56Never thought I'd hear you say that
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just
00:21:04I happen to see you
00:21:06Were you waiting at someone?
00:21:08Yeah, my boyfriend actually
00:21:13Well, he
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so
00:21:16Maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:20Maybe you gotta do it nice today
00:21:22Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though
00:21:30I'm not that annoying
00:21:32Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers
00:21:35Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edmunds?
00:21:37Cause it's not gonna work
00:21:38I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:53He...
00:21:53He makes me feel safe
00:21:56You wouldn't understand it, though
00:22:02I understand better than you think
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think
00:22:09Does he...
00:22:11How you touch him like this?
00:22:22If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see
00:22:26No, my...
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:33In the game
00:22:36Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:49Are you that slow on the game, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you
00:23:04I can't do this
00:23:07I love my boyfriend
00:23:08And you will never understand that
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:13He loves me for who I am
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us
00:23:20I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:30I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:30Wait, it couldn't be
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing
00:23:40Cole, who are you?
00:23:44What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:01We are from two different worlds
00:24:03He just wants to play with me
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:14I... got into a car accident
00:24:16Really? Are you okay?
00:24:18You have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:20He was right
00:24:21Who?
00:24:22Nobody
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at? I want to come visit you
00:24:25No, no, you can't
00:24:27I look miserable now
00:24:28You need to see me inside
00:24:30Fine, if you say so
00:24:33So...
00:24:33Are we going to prom together?
00:24:35Hell yeah we are
00:24:41Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Whoever needs a charity case
00:25:01Oh, you
00:25:03Oh, me
00:25:04Why is she so lucky?
00:25:06Cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:09People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:11I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:14Because you don't do any homework
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay
00:25:24We'll get to know each other more
00:25:25I'm not that curious about you actually
00:25:27I'm curious about you though
00:25:30Like uh...
00:25:30How close were you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:42Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:54So...
00:25:54Are you going to prom?
00:25:56I don't know
00:25:57So you have a date
00:26:01Or shall I say victim
00:26:02Are you jealous of me?
00:26:04No?
00:26:04Me?
00:26:05Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:07Oh, because I think you so secretly want me
00:26:10You are so full of yourself
00:26:12You can do this on your own
00:26:13Yeah
00:26:16No way
00:26:18It's a self-locking door
00:26:19Really?
00:26:21Ms. Corma's gonna be back in an hour
00:26:22I'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:25No, sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:28I think maybe we can pick up where we left off
00:26:31Don't worry
00:26:31Make me try something new
00:26:33Mm-mm, we're keeping our distance this time actually
00:26:36Yeah
00:26:46That was my first kiss
00:26:50My first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:52It was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:55And not just bumping lips
00:27:07You are really good at this
00:27:09Why did I want to regret it?
00:27:11You know, we can do more if we want
00:27:27Come on
00:27:28And I've been on the bag a lot more than you think.
00:27:32So you want me?
00:27:36I think you know how much I want you.
00:27:42Do you want me?
00:27:45I want you.
00:27:50Oh shit!
00:27:54Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh my god, how long have you two been in here?
00:28:00I really need to change this lock. Are you two okay?
00:28:05Yeah, we're good. We're okay.
00:28:15You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:17What didn't happen?
00:28:19It's just hormones.
00:28:22Jake, can you still play after your accident?
00:28:25I'm not dead.
00:28:26Wait, car accident? Guacamole wizard?
00:28:34I gotta go.
00:28:43Guacamole wizard?
00:28:44Huh?
00:28:47Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:49Do I know you?
00:28:51Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:53Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:55Or he heard something about Cole?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:03She was in a real car accident.
00:29:05According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:08I can't make this anymore.
00:29:09Cole, wait.
00:29:12Oh shit.
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:19Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:21Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:24Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:28Hey!
00:29:29Just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:31They're your favorite.
00:29:33Right?
00:29:35How did you know that?
00:29:37Tough day, huh?
00:29:38There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:40They're my favorite.
00:29:42He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:44Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um...
00:29:51A dickhead?
00:29:54Will you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:55You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:05There it goes again.
00:30:06Cole is jealous.
00:30:08We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:09We don't have a problem.
00:30:11We don't have a problem.
00:30:13Right?
00:30:14Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:17Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:22I have the ball now.
00:30:23Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting over Hailey?
00:30:30Maybe I can use that.
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:36What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:40Wait, seriously?
00:30:41Yeah.
00:30:41Just one little catch.
00:30:43You have to pretend to like Hailey Roth.
00:30:47Alright, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:50If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:54I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:30:58But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:02You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:04I'm thinking.
00:31:05About the report, or about him?
00:31:06Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:08We literally made out of a sojourn.
00:31:11Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:13No, you don't.
00:31:14How do you know that?
00:31:15You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:17Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:19You have no idea.
00:31:25Oh my god, is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:41Hailey, someone's here to see you.
00:31:54Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:57Too cheesy?
00:31:58No, it's cute.
00:32:01The accident?
00:32:02The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:03He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:05So, um, what do you think?
00:32:08You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:10I...
00:32:11I should feel happy.
00:32:13But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:17Hey, can we not?
00:32:21Hey, can we not?
00:32:23Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:25My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:28And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:30Wow.
00:32:32That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:35That's weak shit?
00:32:36Is this weak shit?
00:32:39Oh my god.
00:32:42Oh my god.
00:32:47Wow.
00:32:49He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:56Wait, I can't.
00:32:57Colt, put me down.
00:32:58Put me down.
00:32:59Put me down.
00:33:01Don't do that again.
00:33:15New couple alert.
00:33:17Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:19Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:21You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:23And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:27Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:30I might say yes.
00:33:33Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:40We're both hot.
00:33:41And we're both rich.
00:33:43And our dads have been in business, like, forever.
00:33:46So...
00:33:47I think I'll pass.
00:33:50You're gonna regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:33:55Oh, here they come.
00:33:57If I message Corcomole Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone were ding.
00:34:03What should we wear to prom?
00:34:05And the dance list.
00:34:15Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:17I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:18Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:19Bye.
00:34:20He's so different.
00:34:22Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:24I'm gonna say we're...
00:34:26Hayley?
00:34:31Ow!
00:34:34Ow!
00:34:36Geez!
00:34:37God.
00:34:43Here, I'll get it.
00:34:44Yeah, I think no.
00:34:49Oh.
00:34:50You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:52I don't care.
00:34:53I do care.
00:34:56Here we are.
00:35:13You don't go to prom and shake.
00:35:15I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:18He doesn't even know you.
00:35:19And you do?
00:35:20How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:22That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:24Because...
00:35:25I...
00:35:26Pay attention to what you like.
00:35:28I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:30The first day.
00:35:32You were watching me?
00:35:34Just...
00:35:35Just don't go to prom and shake.
00:35:51Move!
00:35:52Cole is talking to Hayley.
00:35:54Again.
00:35:55Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:35:58Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:00Obviously I do.
00:36:01Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:04Uh...
00:36:05What do I do?
00:36:07I've got a few ideas.
00:36:13Hey, look.
00:36:16Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:17I promise.
00:36:18Yeah?
00:36:19Really, like who?
00:36:20I mean, the whole school hates me.
00:36:21Except for Jake.
00:36:24And you.
00:36:25But you're not asking me.
00:36:28Hey.
00:36:29Oh, hey Jake.
00:36:30Hey Hal.
00:36:32Um...
00:36:33I just wanted to thank you again for...
00:36:35The other night.
00:36:37The other night?
00:36:38Yeah, it was...
00:36:41So...
00:36:41Sexy.
00:36:43You're so sexy.
00:36:45Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:47You're...
00:36:47What?
00:36:48Uh...
00:36:49Hate to break it to you asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:36:56And she's a real tiger in the bedroom.
00:37:00Oh!
00:37:01Oh, shit!
00:37:02What the...
00:37:02Oh, shit!
00:37:04Oh, shit!
00:37:05Come on!
00:37:06Oh!
00:37:07Oh, shit!
00:37:12Oh, shit!
00:37:12Oh!
00:37:14Oh!
00:37:15Oh!
00:37:15Oh!
00:37:15Oh!
00:37:15Oh my god!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:19stop guys stop it stop stop what the hell is going on over there
00:37:27shit it's principal stevens i've got to save cole i mean jake i've got to save jake
00:37:37oh my god principal stevens i'm so sorry hayley rock that's detention after school
00:37:46don't be late
00:38:03calm what are you doing here can we keep company that's the least i could do if you saved my
00:38:10ass today the locker thing that was an accident oh sure
00:38:17so uh you and you and jake huh no he lied about that i don't know why though good
00:38:27you know father that asshole every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:33thinking about him touching you kissing you i could kill him
00:38:40promise me you won't go to prom with okay fine i won't
00:38:49because i want to go to prom with you
00:38:53okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:04oh my god i am so fed up with this
00:39:25oh sorry i tripped
00:39:27no no no no no no no no no Jeff what it always has to be about her doesn't it
00:39:36they're dead they're both dead oh how am i gonna be able to talk to guacamole wizard
00:39:46oh what are you are you almost crying it's probably because you can't afford a new one
00:39:53jen what's going on over there
00:40:06what's going on is jen is getting a taste of her own medicine
00:40:10mr edmunds oh please it's baking soda and water you're fine detention today after school
00:40:29jake hey oh uh sorry gotta get to student council
00:40:36hey you didn't even try the rice trick the rice trick
00:40:43yeah you don't know about the come on
00:41:00hey um ella it's emma yeah that's what i said can you hack a broken laptop
00:41:16hey it's gonna be okay we'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole
00:41:22thing never happened no it's not just the phone or the laptop it means it means i can't can't what
00:41:31i talked to a friend online he's really important to me
00:41:39and i'm sure you're really important to him
00:41:51you know cole if you look past all that hair gel and big ol ego and rich kid bravara
00:41:59okay okay i get it
00:42:04you're kind of sweet
00:42:09hey look at that
00:42:12oh my god
00:42:13oh my god
00:42:17you're a miracle worker
00:42:24oh what is taking so long
00:42:25you're doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate
00:42:28shut up ella
00:42:29it's emma
00:42:30whatever
00:42:37oh my god
00:42:45oh morning valley whore
00:42:48how are things in the castle
00:42:54valley whore
00:42:56what are they talking about
00:43:12guacamole wizard when can we be together in person
00:43:16guacamole wizard i want you so badly i dream about you touching me
00:43:19oh my god someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:22touch me guacamole wizard
00:43:26yeah hey valley whore show them what you really like
00:43:48here you go
00:43:49here this is for you
00:43:54oh do you like what i've done with the place
00:43:56you hacked my laptop
00:43:59oh no it wasn't me
00:44:00it was that kid ella
00:44:02but i definitely got to reap the benefits
00:44:04what kind of incel sex over a video game hayley
00:44:07what are you catfishing this guy
00:44:09no i'm not trying to catfish him
00:44:11hey everyone
00:44:11i think valley whore is a catfish
00:44:15because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:43stop it stop stop
00:44:48i thought i'd send the janitor some time
00:44:53jake
00:44:54hey
00:44:57now is the time
00:44:58tell them
00:44:59tell them what
00:45:00that you're guacamole wizard
00:45:04who's guacamole wizard
00:45:07here you go
00:45:10oh my god
00:45:11did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend
00:45:14oh sweetie
00:45:15i've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you
00:45:18what
00:45:19why would you do that
00:45:20oh i don't know cole
00:45:21why do you think i would do that
00:45:25jake
00:45:25is this true
00:45:26have you been pretending to like me this whole time
00:45:30sorry
00:45:31it was nothing personal
00:45:38yeah nothing personal
00:45:41oh
00:45:41oh
00:45:44oh
00:45:45oh
00:45:46all right
00:45:47all right
00:45:47all right
00:45:48enough
00:45:48what in the world is going on here
00:45:51is that a leaf blower
00:45:52that's all him
00:45:53okay well you both have detention so
00:46:01let me get this straight
00:46:02you stole a leaf blower
00:46:04and defaced school property
00:46:06it wasn't school property dad
00:46:08it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets
00:46:10jesus christ
00:46:11how does she always get away with this shit
00:46:13could it be because her father's running for senate cole
00:46:15you think that's what it could be
00:46:17who cares
00:46:18i care
00:46:19and
00:46:20i hear she's got an eye for you
00:46:22so you're taking her to prom
00:46:24what
00:46:25over my dead body
00:46:27oh because you're like that hailey girl
00:46:30i'm firing her mother right now
00:46:31no no please don't
00:46:33please
00:46:34please
00:46:34then you're taking jen to prom
00:46:36max's dad called
00:46:37he said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:39you're gonna go
00:46:40and you're gonna ask jen to prom
00:46:42end of discussion
00:46:49come on you big coward
00:46:50message him
00:46:52just do it
00:46:53just do it
00:46:56you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:04i could never think that
00:47:12but i thought you were jake
00:47:13please can't you just tell me now
00:47:15i think i've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:22i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow
00:47:24if you want i'll meet you there
00:47:37okay
00:47:38okay
00:47:39you got this haley
00:47:40just take a deep breath
00:47:42you got this
00:47:43you got this
00:47:47you look beautiful
00:47:51thank you mom
00:48:10hey haley i'm glad you came you look so pretty
00:48:14Hi. Hey, Max. Your house is gorgeous. I mean...
00:48:18No, it's just my parents' blood, honey. You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:22They don't care about shit. Get drunk, girl!
00:48:25Woo!
00:48:28Yeah.
00:48:38What are you doing here, valley whore?
00:48:43Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:45Hey, everyone, let's give it up for valley whore.
00:48:48Valley whore!
00:48:53Jen, why are you doing this? What have I even done to you?
00:48:56To me, oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community.
00:48:59Because those little cringy messages on your castle game, those are concerning.
00:49:04Actually, kind of a little bit of a perv. Did you know that, Hailey?
00:49:07She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:10Pervy princess!
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:14Pervy princess! Pervy princess!
00:49:17Pervy princess!
00:49:18Hey, let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:21Leave me alone.
00:49:23Is there a fire?
00:49:25Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:39Home?
00:49:40More—
00:49:40More—
00:50:17Are you... him?
00:50:20Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:23Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:25Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:28No, I'm not.
00:50:29Yes, you are.
00:50:30It's okay.
00:50:31You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:34So you too.
00:50:35This whole time.
00:50:39Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:42Hayley, wait.
00:50:47Hayley, wait.
00:50:49Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:50You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:54Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:56I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:50:57Then what were you trying to do?
00:50:58I guess you.
00:51:00Obviously, the white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:03I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:06What about guacamole, was it?
00:51:09What are you...
00:51:18Who is that?
00:51:19I don't know.
00:51:20Just the devil.
00:51:23Get in the car.
00:51:26I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:28Get in the car.
00:51:29Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:32Hayley.
00:51:33I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:36Hi, Mr. Evans.
00:51:37So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:43Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:45My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:50And that's not you.
00:51:51You will be forgotten.
00:51:53You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:55And your mom works for me.
00:51:57Stay away from him.
00:51:59Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:03Dad, stop.
00:52:04Don't you touch my family.
00:52:07I'll stay away.
00:52:08Oh, Hayley, come on.
00:52:09You don't mean that.
00:52:12I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:15I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:21I hate everything about you.
00:52:23I hate all of it.
00:52:25I don't want any part of it.
00:52:27So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:32Hayley!
00:52:40No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:43Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:46Hayley, not that's real love.
00:52:48Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:49I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:53Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:03Hi, Hayley.
00:53:04I'm Emma.
00:53:05I know who you are.
00:53:06Right.
00:53:07I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:12So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:15Good as new.
00:53:19Oh, wow.
00:53:22Thanks, Emma.
00:53:23Okay, bye.
00:53:29One down, one to go.
00:53:31You're so cool.
00:53:33I know, Emma.
00:53:34Want to go to prom?
00:53:35Why not?
00:53:38Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:44Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:46Hi, Max and Max's friend.
00:53:48Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:50Cole's grounded.
00:53:52Oh, he is?
00:53:53But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:53:56What can I say, Max?
00:53:58Actions have consequences.
00:54:00Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:03Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:08We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:11Cole?
00:54:12My son, Cole?
00:54:14Reviewing budgets.
00:54:15He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:18Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:20And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:22so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:35Go away!
00:54:40Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:43Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:44I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:47Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:49What?
00:54:49What's going on?
00:54:51Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:53You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:54You can be together.
00:54:55Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:00No.
00:55:01I'll tell her myself.
00:55:03Sneak me in your car.
00:55:10Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:14Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:16I just need some time alone.
00:55:25Open the door.
00:55:27Wait, what?
00:55:29He's here?
00:55:37It's you.
00:55:39I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:43Haley, I've wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:46My dad threatened off all your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:51I was.
00:55:51I got my inheritance.
00:55:53And I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:08Haley, I understand if this changes things.
00:56:13If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:32Nicole, I love you.
00:56:34You do?
00:56:36Yes, you idiot.
00:56:38I've loved you for months.
00:56:40I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:47But you're him.
00:56:48You didn't expect her.
00:56:50I mean, I, I always hoped it was you.
00:56:55Until you hoped?
00:56:57Yes.
00:56:58I hoped it was you.
00:57:00You were always there for me.
00:57:04You're hot, no?
00:57:06You're really fucking hot.
00:57:07You're hot, no.
00:57:12Hey, uh...
00:57:13...one of those things I said we could do?
00:57:16You want to go?
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:20I'll take my clothes off.
00:57:22You get in there, don't worry.
00:57:24Why?
00:57:47So what do you think 10 out of 10, you know, yeah, what do you get?
00:57:52I'll get sex with sex with me specifically. I've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:57:58All right, all right, that's fair. I'll take that as a one
00:58:07What is my life now? Am I being nice to Cole Edmonds?
00:58:11Oh god, no, I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly and I'll just, I'm just lost behind
00:58:19it
00:58:20There's always been lost behind it
00:58:21I'll take a minute now
00:58:22Stop it
00:58:26Um, same. Is it promenade?
00:58:31I think you know if it's promenade
00:58:34I don't know, but the real question is, do you got a date?
00:58:40Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:42Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to the show
00:58:46Oh god, please don't mention his name again, I don't want to hear it
00:58:49Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice
00:58:51But I don't even have a dress
00:58:54Wait here
00:58:59I just slept with Cole Edmonds and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds
00:59:03Who would have guessed?
00:59:07I thought only the best for my princess
00:59:11Where did you get that?
00:59:14I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:19Might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:24Of course they'll go to prom with you
00:59:31Mr. Edmonds, I'd expect you to be here
00:59:34Cole, are you here?
00:59:36Cole, are you here?
00:59:39Mr. Edmonds, you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:43I see you Cole, you are a big pro
01:00:01Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:04You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:10Okay, I'm ready
01:00:22What do you think?
01:00:27My god, Hayley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
01:00:32Uh-uh-uh
01:00:33I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick
01:00:36You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes
01:00:3920 more minutes
01:00:40We're in
01:00:42Deal
01:00:45Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes
01:00:50I hear we have a winner
01:00:53And your 2026 prom queen is
01:00:58Jen Longfellow
01:01:01Thank you!
01:01:02Oh my god!
01:01:04Thank you guys so much
01:01:06Seriously, this makes the world to me
01:01:08I mean like, who else would win, right?
01:01:11Oh, this is just the perfect moment
01:01:17Oh my god, that's Hayley and Cole
01:01:22It was fun
01:01:23Since where did you go?
01:01:24Yeah, this is fun
01:01:28Hey, uh, this time that's up
01:01:31No, but who cares
01:01:35Hell yeah
01:01:42I am the queen, okay?
01:01:44She's just a little pervy princess
01:01:46Come on, everyone say it with me
01:01:49Pervy princess, pervy princess, pervy princess
01:01:58Wait, wait, wait, wait, what are those?
01:02:00Those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:02Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you
01:02:05His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:08Don't worry, daddy
01:02:10If I can't have it, no one can
01:02:14I'm gonna destroy Hayley Roth's life
01:02:16Is this real?
01:02:18Jen's crazy
01:02:20Who did this?
01:02:22Who did this?
01:02:26What?
01:02:26You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:30You little skit
01:02:32You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama
01:02:41But quite frankly, you are the worst
01:02:45And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy
01:02:49You can't do that
01:02:50I'm the principal, so, uh, yes, I can
01:03:02There was no internship! You lied to me!
01:03:12Hayley, catch
01:03:18Oh, my princess finally has a crown
01:03:22Now all I need is my handsome prince
01:03:24Oh
01:03:25Yeah, no can do
01:03:27All I have to offer is a lowly knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:31And a awesome sense of humor
01:03:33How can I refuse?
01:03:41Oh no, that's my dad
01:03:45We are going home right now
01:03:48You disobeyed me for the last time, boy
01:03:50Yeah, I'm not a boy, dad
01:03:53You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:03:57Yet you can't see I've already become that man
01:04:01And it's because of Hayley
01:04:02And you can accept that or I'll make my own path and best believe me I can
01:04:08I'll say this
01:04:10That's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole
01:04:15Enjoy, Pearl
01:04:23I am so proud of you
01:04:26I can't have done with all you being by my son
01:04:29That was terrifying
01:04:31It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, well, so
01:04:35I love you. I love you. I love you guacamole wizard
01:04:39Oh my god, I gotta change that username
01:04:41I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
01:04:44I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
01:04:44I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
01:04:46I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
01:04:55You
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