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00:00:00There's always a joker in the pack
00:00:11There's always a lonely clown
00:00:14There is a jester, just a fool
00:00:19As foolish as he can be
00:00:21There's always a joker, that's the rule
00:00:26But fate deals a hand and I see
00:00:31The joker is me
00:00:35The joker is me
00:00:39The Joker
00:00:44And you're down!
00:01:01That's right, it's Dulcy and Cabana
00:01:03I'm so embarrassed having my mum here
00:01:06I'll see it on TV
00:01:08Read it in a magazine
00:01:10I can't be a celebrity
00:01:14I'll do it pissing mode
00:01:17Inside the rolling stones
00:01:19That's good, that's good there
00:01:22I'd like to see it in a way
00:01:26Yes, I'm a mega-stunny, kiss my head
00:01:28No, it's all right, we get to pesh now
00:01:33No, we are, we are
00:01:35Brett and I, we've decided we want to go for solid monogamy
00:01:39No, Kim, monogamy's very old-fashioned
00:01:42You just want a veneer of monogamy
00:01:44That's all people care about
00:01:46I'm a big fan of Captain Kim
00:02:04Today we're in Captain Kim's world
00:02:08The stars of the rich and babies
00:02:13The stars of the rich and babies
00:02:21Oh, right, boxes are packed, tick
00:02:24Kel's Koogee Knits, backpack, tick
00:02:27Just have to bubble wrap Froggy
00:02:28And Marie Kondo the garage and we're done!
00:02:31Give me this cockfighter's toot sweet
00:02:34Cool story, there's something you forgot to pack
00:02:38Hm?
00:02:39What?
00:02:40Me!
00:02:41You selling the house has left me homeless
00:02:43Why'd you have me if you can't look after me?
00:02:45Don't start, Kim
00:02:46There is no room for you at the warehouse
00:02:49Well, you'd better make some room
00:02:51Why are you moving to a warehouse?
00:02:52It's embarrassing
00:02:54No, it's not, it's cool
00:02:55And I'm going to set up my artist life drawing studio
00:02:58And Kel's going to be my moose
00:03:01You can't wait to get Starkers, you know what he's like
00:03:03Oh, I shouldn't have to hear that
00:03:05Anyway, I have a very sick sense that I could be a genius
00:03:09Yep, hard relate
00:03:10You?
00:03:11Well, you're a genius at doing diddly, that's for sure
00:03:15Thank you for all your help today, not
00:03:18No, I'm working, someone's got to put takeaway on the table for Epson mean
00:03:22Brett's bloody hopeless
00:03:23Oh yes, and what work are you doing pacifically, Kim?
00:03:26I'm catfishing
00:03:27Catfishing?
00:03:29Oh, that sounds nice
00:03:31Yeah, it's nice
00:03:32No, it's a nice, different
00:03:33It's a nice, different
00:03:34It's unusual
00:03:34It's an unusual
00:03:35It's eco
00:03:35I think
00:03:36I'm monetising my skills
00:03:37And they are?
00:03:38Calling people out and sucking people in
00:03:41Oh, and I have a live one
00:03:42I am about to be rolling in it
00:03:45Well, that works, doesn't it, Kim?
00:03:47Because you've been sitting on my couch like a stunned mullet all these years
00:03:51And now you're kushy
00:03:53Cut your
00:03:53You know, I still can't get it through my pretty head
00:03:57That we're actually going to look
00:04:00Oh, well
00:04:01Here's to the future
00:04:02Stop the future
00:04:04Look at this 20 years ago
00:04:11Hello, nipples
00:04:12Um, my name's Kath Day
00:04:14This is my daughter Kim
00:04:15Hoi
00:04:16Oh, hello
00:04:17What have you meant?
00:04:18Oh, Kim, you know
00:04:19Apparently well I've come a slingy on
00:04:20Because she's very attractive
00:04:23But unlike Celine, I'm not a bean pole
00:04:25I've had to wear a second bra
00:04:26I'm still not rather nice
00:04:27Yeah, it is nice
00:04:28It's different
00:04:28It's unusual
00:04:29Yeah, it is nice
00:04:29It hurts, actually
00:04:31Yeah
00:04:32Anyway, look
00:04:33You people probably don't know us with sliced bread
00:04:35But can I just say that we're going to be huge in it
00:04:37That's right, we've got our own show
00:04:38That's right
00:04:38Kath and Kim
00:04:39We are in Cairn
00:04:40Oh, don't be filthy please, Kim
00:04:42I think what you mean
00:04:43Is that we've let all the
00:04:44You see cameramen come in
00:04:45And we've exposed ourselves
00:04:47For time
00:04:47That's right
00:04:47You're going to see every nook
00:04:49And us
00:04:49Cranny of our lives
00:04:50At the time when it was on
00:04:52Kath and Kim
00:04:53Was the highest reading comedy show
00:04:54On Australian TV and still highest reading comedy show ever in Australia
00:04:58I mean we're bums on seats, literally
00:05:00They're influence on Australians
00:05:01And on Australian life
00:05:02The way that people see themselves
00:05:03The joke that you can make
00:05:04That everyone's going to get
00:05:05I mean, you know, I've seen people with their wedding photos
00:05:22And they've got Kath and Kel open mouth kiss showing their wedding photos
00:05:26And I just like, that's kind of amazing
00:05:28Oh
00:05:30AJ
00:05:31Oh
00:05:33Home and away, Hayley auditions 303
00:05:35And action
00:05:36You know, maybe you should just think about yourself
00:05:37And start thinking about what's best for Hayley
00:05:38Why don't you just, I mean this has nothing to do with me
00:05:40Oh it does when we're talking about the health of my baby and it's mother
00:05:43I would never do anything to put Hayley's up to rest
00:05:44Really well, she's just going to fast
00:05:45Well, whose fault taken that was
00:05:46Tom out, Tom out peoples, Tom out please
00:05:48Now Kim
00:05:48Kim
00:05:49Can I put my please
00:05:50Look, look, please
00:05:51Scott
00:05:51Look, please
00:05:53Now Kim, look, Scott
00:05:53What, look, Kim
00:05:55Now Scott, I want to tell you
00:05:56M-O-W, please make own way
00:05:58Hey
00:05:59Oh
00:06:00Sorry, now please
00:06:03Sorry, I just thought I'd be in for another guy
00:06:05You'd get me
00:06:05Yeah, well
00:06:06I do give off hearing names that do things to girls
00:06:08Yeah
00:06:09Alright, well, I'm here for you
00:06:10Go
00:06:10Come, you great
00:06:12I guess I'm good
00:06:17I think we've seen a lot of celebrity cameos
00:06:19in Parliament and people like that
00:06:19You know, they do that
00:06:20Because they love the show
00:06:21Because they're fans show
00:06:22Give it up
00:06:23For Rip-A-N-E!
00:06:24TADAAA!
00:06:26Oh, no!
00:06:28Who wouldn't want to be on the show, right?
00:06:29When marimba rhythms start to play
00:06:32I was flying in to Australia to do the ladies
00:06:36And I, Kath and Kim came on the in-flight show
00:06:40And I was dying laughing
00:06:41Like a flower pen in a little breeze
00:06:45It's just cool for me to be part of Australian pop culture
00:06:47I'm backing up Michael Booglai today
00:06:50I'm going to be here with that show
00:06:51Oh my god
00:06:52I'm going to f*** out on his tour
00:06:54That's all he's going to travel
00:06:58Thank you everybody
00:06:59You're very sweet to me today
00:07:00Thank you
00:07:01Bye
00:07:01I have way too much fun with you guys
00:07:03I'm
00:07:03Everything in my life is going to be down from here
00:07:05Thank you
00:07:06Thank you
00:07:06Thank you very much, Michael
00:07:07Thank you so much
00:07:08Thanks, Michael
00:07:08Happy to meet you
00:07:09Happy to meet you
00:07:09Asshole
00:07:11What could be a better pleasure?
00:07:12I mean, I'm a huge fan
00:07:14This chick
00:07:18This is great
00:07:19It's the writing of the show
00:07:20That's what's very brilliant about it
00:07:22It gives the impression of improvised dialogue
00:07:24But in fact, it's very finely crafted
00:07:28Oh, so you're going to call the wedding off
00:07:29Because of a pumpkin style coach?
00:07:31You're being stupid, Mum
00:07:32Oh, stupid, am I?
00:07:33Is Cinderella stupid, Kim?
00:07:35What?
00:07:36She had a pumpkin style coach
00:07:37And she lived happily ever after
00:07:38Read your history books, Kim
00:07:39That's really exciting for us
00:07:40Because, um, we love watching
00:07:41Captain Kim's own ass
00:07:42We've got the answers
00:07:44It's quite surreal
00:07:45It feels like you've gone
00:07:46It's very surreal
00:07:47We've gone into the
00:07:47We're used to being in the Wiggles world
00:07:49Today we're in Captain Kim's world
00:07:50That's
00:07:50I've got to say
00:07:51Probably fit quite well
00:07:52It's in Captain Kim's world, you know
00:07:54Mum
00:07:54This is Matt Lucas
00:07:55Oh, hello, Matt
00:07:57My mum
00:07:57Very nice to meet you, Kath
00:07:59Nice to meet you
00:07:59And you've just bought into the court, I heard
00:08:01That's right, yeah
00:08:02Congratulations
00:08:03Thank you very much
00:08:04Next to Kylie and Danny Bolton
00:08:06Right
00:08:06Yes, they're single girls
00:08:07Oh, really?
00:08:08Yeah
00:08:08So you could, you know, get lucky
00:08:10I'm going to go
00:08:11Can you all look at me?
00:08:11I'm getting my own look at me
00:08:13I'm getting my own look at me
00:08:17When the opportunity came up
00:08:18There's a way I could turn it down
00:08:20I just, I love the show
00:08:21I'm going to go
00:08:23Everything I know from Australia
00:08:24I've learned from
00:08:25Like me and Slida and Jane
00:08:26There's a great heritage of comedy here
00:08:27And I think
00:08:28Kath and Kim is going to be part of that
00:08:29How?
00:08:30What are they?
00:08:31Golly
00:08:31I mean, my chance of Kath and Kim is
00:08:40I've seen these two characters
00:08:43Global world rapture
00:08:44So when I got an offer to be in the film
00:08:45I jumped at it
00:08:46And thrilled to be here
00:08:47I think they're really, really, really funny
00:08:49You all right there?
00:08:50Sorry princess, after you
00:08:52Age before beauty
00:08:53I was an instant fan
00:08:54And I was on a very long flight to India
00:08:57I've seen the planet of Meshit doing this
00:08:59Three times on reruns
00:09:00An amazing episode where
00:09:01They just end up all of the hours
00:09:03So when I got it
00:09:04For Tobogran, I obviously
00:09:05It
00:09:06Because I think they're really, really, really funny
00:09:08Comedy gold
00:09:09I said
00:09:09Shut up
00:09:10I said
00:09:11Ridge
00:09:12I said
00:09:12Please
00:09:13I said love
00:09:14I said
00:09:14I said
00:09:15I said please
00:09:16I said
00:09:16Ridge
00:09:16Edge
00:09:18Edge
00:09:19First rival
00:09:19First death
00:09:20How did you know if we went
00:09:21And we haven't really still laughed
00:09:22Since
00:09:23I play a character who is so tight
00:09:25English
00:09:26And works as sort of fact
00:09:27Ocean
00:09:28King of Papilloma
00:09:29Played brilliant by Robsch
00:09:31Top group has arrived
00:09:32Ladies
00:09:32Sir
00:09:32That's your type
00:09:33Bitch and stupid
00:09:35All right
00:09:37Shut the
00:09:37Sharon
00:09:46Why are you on my swing?
00:09:47Corky
00:09:48And my mask mark has gone septic
00:09:51Due to triple shifts at the repat
00:09:52But
00:09:53I have news
00:09:55So
00:09:57Due to conduct unbecoming
00:09:59Liz has been sacked
00:10:00And you are looking at the new
00:10:03Cannon of the Sapphires
00:10:04Speaking of unbecoming
00:10:06Kim
00:10:07Oh
00:10:08I hope the power doesn't go to my head
00:10:10No it'll probably go to your cankles
00:10:12Like everything else
00:10:13That's a bit mean Kim
00:10:14But that's not all
00:10:16Guess what
00:10:16Oh tea
00:10:17Spill
00:10:18Is it about me?
00:10:19No
00:10:19I have met someone
00:10:21Online
00:10:22Again
00:10:23You're a sucker for punishment
00:10:25Well
00:10:26You know
00:10:27I just thought maybe
00:10:2823rd time lucky
00:10:29But
00:10:30Maybe you're right
00:10:31Maybe I am just a sucker
00:10:33Oh no Sharon
00:10:34I meant it as a compliment
00:10:35No spill
00:10:36Tell me the deets
00:10:37Well
00:10:38They are a crypto whale
00:10:40From FNQ
00:10:41And
00:10:41It's incredible Kim
00:10:43It's like we've known one another
00:10:44For years
00:10:44Like
00:10:44They must have looked up my widget
00:10:46Because they know everything about me
00:10:47And now you know
00:10:48They want to see me in the flesh
00:10:50But
00:10:51But what
00:10:51Scared to give them the ick
00:10:53No
00:10:54They are converting their crypto
00:10:56But the cash hasn't come through yet
00:10:58So
00:10:58They want me to give them access to my savings account
00:11:00So they can pay for the airfare from Queensland
00:11:02I just
00:11:03I don't want to get scammed again Kim
00:11:05Do you think it's legit
00:11:08Totally
00:11:09Yeah I give them access to all accounts
00:11:11I mean look at you Sharon
00:11:13You'll never find anyone else
00:11:14Why do you always be so mean to me Kim
00:11:17You know since I've been with a partner who's so kind and loving online
00:11:21I've come to realise that
00:11:22You're a bit of a bully
00:11:24Everyone knows I'm the nice one
00:11:28Are you just like me Sharon?
00:11:32No
00:11:32Just a bit gassy
00:11:35Kimmy look at me
00:11:39Look at me look at me
00:11:40For Kath and Kim
00:11:42Now you both look fantastic
00:11:53Thank you
00:11:54Thank you Ro
00:11:54If you don't mind me saying so
00:11:55Yes
00:11:56Do you have abuse secret?
00:11:58I mean how do you keep so trim and fabulous?
00:12:01Oh well I don't know about Kim
00:12:03But I have a very
00:12:04I have a very strict regime of a day time
00:12:10Start off with a little bit of huffy puffy
00:12:11Three times a week
00:12:12On my ski time buttock and thigh toner
00:12:14Nice
00:12:15And yoghurt and muesli
00:12:17Oh yes that's always nice
00:12:18Yoghurt is tasty
00:12:20But you are a little bit
00:12:21But cuck around the neck though
00:12:23You have to say
00:12:24Don't you?
00:12:25No no but really
00:12:27What do you mean by that Kim?
00:12:28No really no
00:12:29You're saying I'm chucky
00:12:30No I'm not
00:12:31I'm saying really
00:12:32That you are mutton dressed as lamb
00:12:34That's all
00:12:34No thank you
00:12:36I may know Kim for noticing
00:12:38Because I do go to trouble
00:12:39Thanks for your answer
00:12:40I'm sorry Ro
00:12:41I love the earrings
00:12:42I've worn this specially
00:12:43Because I've just finished a TAFE course
00:12:45In fashion design
00:12:47And I love Ken Doan
00:12:48I love Ken Doan and Judy Doan
00:12:50So I've just done a bit of my own Doan type design
00:12:53And I've made the Gumnuts
00:12:55And I've done a little bit of leather work
00:12:57They're little Gumnut Bybies
00:12:58Can you see that?
00:12:59They are
00:12:59They're different
00:13:00They're different
00:13:01Unusual
00:13:01They're different
00:13:02They're nice
00:13:03Now I must say
00:13:04I loved your work at the Logies
00:13:06Thank you Ro
00:13:07A couple of weeks ago
00:13:08You both look just simply glamorous
00:13:09Yes
00:13:10Thank you
00:13:10Kim you especially
00:13:11You were wearing quite a revealing outfit
00:13:13It was very sexy
00:13:15Yes I was
00:13:15Yes we've got the footage here
00:13:17Was that
00:13:18Was that restricting?
00:13:22Was it uncomfortable at all?
00:13:24No no
00:13:24It was really
00:13:25It was very comfortable actually
00:13:26I had an atomic wedgie then
00:13:28But that was
00:13:28Yeah it was nice
00:13:29And I had some with the cream later
00:13:30At the party
00:13:31They were very nice
00:13:32But that's where I went around
00:13:35I've got the idea for that
00:13:36Because sometimes you get ideas for things
00:13:37You know you look at magazines and everything
00:13:38But I was just walking past a building site
00:13:40And a guy bent over
00:13:41And I went
00:13:41That's what I want to look like
00:13:43At the Logies
00:13:45Very nice
00:13:45But I dressed up the crack a bit
00:13:47And it looked very nice
00:13:48A bit of Domonties down there
00:13:50Never go astray
00:13:50They don't go all the way around though
00:13:52No they don't
00:13:53I have noticed that
00:13:53Thankfully
00:13:54Now actually speaking
00:13:55Speaking of
00:13:56Speaking of underwear
00:13:57You recently had a lingerie party
00:13:59At your home
00:14:00Oh yes
00:14:01I was saving up for my connubials
00:14:03Which are coming up very soon
00:14:04You must be proud
00:14:04And I am proud
00:14:05And I did
00:14:06Actually I didn't earn a cent
00:14:07From that party
00:14:08I have to say
00:14:09My lingerie party
00:14:09No
00:14:10We've actually got a bit of footage here
00:14:11This is Kath and Kim
00:14:12At their lingerie party
00:14:14Now I'd like to
00:14:15Introduce our first model
00:14:16For tonight
00:14:17Kimberley
00:14:18Kimberley
00:14:18This is Kimberley
00:14:20And she is wearing
00:14:21The Sharon Stone
00:14:22Bra and Pants set
00:14:24Doesn't she look beautiful
00:14:25That comes with her pants
00:14:28And it's guaranteed
00:14:29To get your guy
00:14:30As hot as Michael Douglas
00:14:31And whoa
00:14:32Is he hot
00:14:33Thank you Kim
00:14:33That comes in shell pink
00:14:34Oyster
00:14:35Skull
00:14:35And lobster
00:14:36That's classy
00:14:39Come on over there
00:14:40Near poor froggy
00:14:41Oh poor froggy
00:14:43Having to smell that
00:14:44Stink
00:14:44I'm going to do a freeze
00:15:02All around
00:15:02Oh no no no no
00:15:03Freeze
00:15:03You've got existential walls
00:15:05Much nicer
00:15:05I'll help you with that
00:15:06At the time
00:15:07Because you know
00:15:07Of course
00:15:07I've done a course
00:15:08Oh not a freeze
00:15:13You've got existential laws
00:15:14You know if I had time
00:15:15I'll help you with that
00:15:16Because I've done a course
00:15:16Of course
00:15:17Take off
00:15:17Oh no not a freeze
00:15:20You've got existential laws
00:15:22You know if I had time
00:15:22I'll help you with that
00:15:23Because of course
00:15:24I've done a
00:15:24I think the show
00:15:27Is just so incredibly relatable
00:15:29I know that people
00:15:30Have said Stinkley
00:15:31Who wants to see a mum
00:15:32A daughter yelling at each other
00:15:33Well who doesn't
00:15:34Because you know
00:15:35I can't help it
00:15:36If you're an ignoranus
00:15:37That's everybody's life
00:15:38Isn't it
00:15:38It's the real world
00:15:39To see Catherine
00:15:40Do that
00:15:41With that comedic
00:15:43Bent
00:15:43No I'm converted
00:15:44I've just gotta have a christening
00:15:46Well why have I got you christened
00:15:48I know
00:15:48Why not
00:15:49Well frankly I couldn't see the point
00:15:51I took one look at you
00:15:52And knew exactly where you were heading
00:15:54Mum
00:15:54Little strange might have seen
00:15:56Your own family
00:15:57Or your friendship group
00:15:59Is amplified
00:16:00And made into just a belly laugh moment
00:16:02You know I've been to so many christens
00:16:04Like I gave Maynus Winey Briony
00:16:06A $25 gift voucher
00:16:08To Puff and Dilly
00:16:09She owes me
00:16:10I spend a lot of time overseas now
00:16:12And people do
00:16:13Like Australians
00:16:14They like Australian content
00:16:16Any work for your job yet?
00:16:17No
00:16:17I reckon I'll find out Monday
00:16:19Not confident Kel
00:16:22Yeah you have got a whiff of desperation
00:16:24About you at the moment Brett
00:16:25And so historically
00:16:26Yes there's things like neighbours
00:16:27But I think Catherine really struck us in overseas too
00:16:31Is that apricot for us?
00:16:32Yes look I haven't got an order in or anything
00:16:34I just thought I'd ring to let you know
00:16:35That we're going away this week
00:16:36And we're going business class
00:16:38Hang on Brett
00:16:39Now sometimes it means that they've got a slightly skewed perception
00:16:42Of real life in Australia
00:16:43You know not everywhere is Rambi Street
00:16:45Not every mother and mother
00:16:46Catherine Kim
00:16:46Kim
00:16:47Pop those in your danger feel bag
00:16:49Catherine Kim
00:16:54Oh hello you gorgeous people
00:17:11Superstar Carson Kressley
00:17:13And can you believe
00:17:14It's the 20 years of Catherine Kim's
00:17:16Which we say
00:17:17Memor fashion
00:17:18Does my bum look big in those jeans?
00:17:22I mean from faux fur uggs
00:17:24Like cow print
00:17:25Tiny little fedoras
00:17:26To crop tops
00:17:27And muffin tops
00:17:28Acid wash
00:17:29Oversized denim jackets
00:17:30Pearl necklaces
00:17:32And a raw roller
00:17:33Things I'll never be able to unsee
00:17:36So thank you for that
00:17:37And as one said
00:17:38Passion is temporary
00:17:40Bad taste is forever
00:17:42Thanks Nathan Kim
00:17:44There's a man who would dance
00:17:46But I don't know its name
00:17:48Selene Cuisine
00:17:51The people from bad home
00:17:55What the hell you look gorgeous
00:17:58What do you think this is doing?
00:18:04Oh calm down Kat calm down
00:18:05Oh stop it's all there
00:18:08Oh yes hello
00:18:11Yeah but we don't do it here
00:18:14Of course you know
00:18:16Why she said that bread
00:18:17Because she's a bitch
00:18:18Faster
00:18:20Turns left
00:18:21Faster
00:18:22Turns left
00:18:23Ta-da
00:18:25We are the good one
00:18:30And we're common
00:18:31Bit spoken ya
00:18:32Stop it Sandy
00:18:33Don't do that
00:18:34Now what do you think Sharon?
00:18:35Wait wait
00:18:37We're not moving in with your bloody mother
00:19:05You wouldn't last a day
00:19:06Do you have any idea
00:19:08What it would be like
00:19:09To live with a bossy
00:19:10Upper self
00:19:10Egotistical shine blocker?
00:19:13Brett?
00:19:14Oh you know Kim
00:19:15The great thing about moving is
00:19:17That you find all these
00:19:18Classic vintage pieces
00:19:19In the back of your wardrobe
00:19:20That you've forgotten about
00:19:21Like this Kodigan
00:19:22I mean
00:19:23It's fellow Alexander Hamilton
00:19:24For God's sake
00:19:25Oh you're such a tag hag
00:19:27Yes I am
00:19:29Brand is my middle name
00:19:30Now look
00:19:31I'm glad you're here
00:19:32Because I need your help
00:19:33Now Marie Kondo stipulates
00:19:35Specifically
00:19:36Only one patchwork bomber
00:19:37To be in the home
00:19:38At any one time
00:19:40So what do you think?
00:19:41The brown or the black?
00:19:42Oh they're both tragic
00:19:43I'm not here for it
00:19:44I think I'll keep the black
00:19:46I think that will really
00:19:47Slay them at Fochella
00:19:49Where?
00:19:50Fochella
00:19:50It's Fountain Lake's
00:19:52Answer to Coachella
00:19:53Kel and I have been invited
00:19:54Harry Styles is playing
00:19:56Harry Styles?
00:19:57You know Harry Styles
00:19:58From Styles Hair Care and Wiggery
00:20:00Next to Fouchons on the Bay
00:20:01Harry Styles
00:20:03He was in Maroon 5
00:20:04For God's sake
00:20:05I'm going to go too
00:20:06I'm going to wear my new
00:20:08Moo Moo Micro Mini
00:20:09No Kim
00:20:10You're not coming
00:20:10Every time you come with us
00:20:12There's drama
00:20:12Kim
00:20:14You'll get me the sack
00:20:16The sack?
00:20:18Would I get you the sack
00:20:19If I did this?
00:20:22Kim you're being crazy
00:20:23All right
00:20:29Chardonnay
00:20:30Chardonnay
00:20:30You pack a shunt
00:20:31You're not kidding
00:20:32Oof
00:20:32AHHHHH
00:20:33Oh
00:20:33You better be ready
00:20:51I have to check my netbook fixtures
00:21:01What about tomorrow night?
00:21:16Tell me
00:21:17Do you like bush beds?
00:21:19Can't get enough of them really
00:21:20I'm sitting down at Molly Bloom's
00:21:22So maybe we should get together afterwards
00:21:24And go for a scrumpy
00:21:25I love that
00:21:28Oopsie
00:21:35Oh what a shunt
00:21:38Did she get that
00:21:39Fishing for you
00:21:40Did she get that
00:21:41Rocking your world
00:21:43I mean the plenty of fishers
00:21:46Would spot something like that
00:21:47We often have a very special
00:21:51Celebration
00:21:52It's not often
00:21:53There's assistance on this
00:21:55Oh
00:21:55It's
00:21:56Of
00:21:57Please
00:21:57Please
00:21:58Please
00:22:00True
00:22:01True
00:22:02I can't believe it
00:22:15It's
00:22:16It's
00:22:17It's a hoot
00:22:18I tell you Rob
00:22:20I thought that's not
00:22:21Chardonnay
00:22:21What's bigger
00:22:24What's bigger
00:22:26What's bigger
00:22:26What's bigger
00:22:27What about
00:22:28A panel
00:22:30And what about
00:22:31Abby
00:22:31Tuscanee's back
00:22:35Tuscanee's back
00:22:35Tuscanee's back
00:22:35Tuscanee's back
00:22:36Tuscanee's back
00:22:37Tuscanee's back
00:22:37What's bigger
00:22:39Do graphically
00:22:40Do graphically
00:22:41Just
00:22:41Graphically
00:22:42Oh
00:22:43That's right
00:22:45Sorry that you're filthy rich
00:22:52But you're
00:22:52You're
00:22:53I see
00:22:54You're
00:22:54It's
00:22:54Bossy
00:22:55T-shirt
00:22:58My house is fighting because
00:23:01you're a
00:23:02pull some dance
00:23:04My wife doesn't hear any other word
00:23:09so he just pulls it down and looks like I'm trading
00:23:10which I love
00:23:12I just want to get
00:23:17the Tuscan's in
00:23:19the Tuscan's in
00:23:20the Tuscan's in
00:23:21the Tuscan's in
00:23:23the Tuscan's in
00:23:24the Tuscan's in
00:23:25the Tuscan's in
00:23:26the Tuscan's in
00:23:28the Tuscan's in
00:23:29the Tuscan's in
00:23:30the Tuscan's in
00:23:31the Tuscan's in
00:23:32the Tuscan's in
00:23:33the Tuscan's in
00:23:34the Tuscan's in
00:23:35the Tuscan's in
00:23:36the Tuscan's in
00:23:37the Tuscan's in
00:23:38the Tuscan's in
00:23:39the Tuscan's in
00:23:40the Tuscan's in
00:23:41the Tuscan's in
00:23:42the Tuscan's in
00:23:43the Tuscan's in
00:23:44the Tuscan's in
00:23:45the Tuscan's in
00:23:46the Tuscan's in
00:23:47the Tuscan's in
00:23:48the Tuscan's in
00:23:49the Tuscan's in
00:23:50the Tuscan's in
00:23:51the Tuscan's in
00:23:52the Tuscan's in
00:23:53the Tuscan's in
00:23:54the Tuscan's in
00:23:55the Tuscan's in
00:23:56the Tuscan's in
00:23:57the Tuscan's in
00:23:58Malcolm Turb
00:23:59Oh
00:24:00Oh
00:24:01Oh
00:24:02Oh
00:24:03She doesn't make it easy
00:24:05Oh
00:24:06Oh
00:24:07Oh
00:24:08Oh
00:24:09Just I mean I
00:24:10Just sex because of
00:24:11Oh
00:24:12Oh
00:24:13Oh
00:24:14Oh
00:24:15Oh
00:24:16I was gonna ask you wedding just obviously for me
00:24:18Well I think you know Rob anything office is acceptable
00:24:22Still acceptable in fact it's downright gross
00:24:25I'm gonna do that
00:24:26I'm gonna do that
00:24:27I'm gonna do that
00:24:28I will do that
00:24:29I
00:24:30Don't
00:24:31You
00:24:32Don't
00:24:33I
00:24:34He wouldn't be
00:24:36I'll drink and drink
00:24:40No
00:24:41I'll
00:24:42I'll
00:24:43I'll
00:24:44I'll
00:24:45I'll
00:24:46I'll
00:24:47I'll
00:24:48I'll
00:24:49I'll
00:24:50I'll
00:24:51You
00:24:52I
00:24:53I
00:24:53I
00:24:54I'm not with John Gay.
00:24:55No, I'm not with John Gay.
00:24:56There's no horror.
00:24:57No, no, I just wanna say, I wanna say,
00:24:59which is pretty funny.
00:25:01I don't want to conclude.
00:25:04I'm true.
00:25:05Is you?
00:25:06I'm true.
00:25:07True.
00:25:07True.
00:25:08I'm true.
00:25:08I'm true.
00:25:09Okay.
00:25:09I'm so.
00:25:11I'm not a sign.
00:25:13Yeah, it's not bad.
00:25:14I'm just a.
00:25:15Yeah.
00:25:16True and true.
00:25:17Thank you so much for coming.
00:25:19I hope you enjoyed.
00:25:24Memories may be beautiful and you cute.
00:25:34What's too painful to read?
00:25:37Ooh, look at that.
00:25:38Kath, have you seen my CPAP machine?
00:25:40Yes, Kel.
00:25:41I packed it with your anus salt.
00:25:43You know you'll need that with the move.
00:25:44I yee on it.
00:25:46Anyway, there you go, sweets.
00:25:48My artisanal selection.
00:25:50Wow.
00:25:51So what do you call that, Kel?
00:25:52That's a mini poke bowl on a skewer.
00:25:55You've got your halloumi, your anumi and your etnami beans.
00:25:58Oh, give us a go.
00:25:59Wow.
00:26:00Look at that.
00:26:01How's that feel?
00:26:02Mmm.
00:26:03Yeah.
00:26:04Lovely.
00:26:05Very good.
00:26:06You know, Kel, I still cannot believe that we are leaving.
00:26:11Oh, it's going to be a whole new adventure.
00:26:14Though, I'm still having trouble getting my head around bin night not being Tuesday.
00:26:19I know.
00:26:20I mean, what are you going to do with yourself now you've retired?
00:26:23What are you going to do all day besides getting under my hairs?
00:26:26Oh, I don't know.
00:26:27I might invent an app.
00:26:28Ha!
00:26:29With Elaine Musk.
00:26:30Or a mandarin.
00:26:32Hmm?
00:26:33Do a smelly ears course.
00:26:34Or some shih tzu.
00:26:36Oh!
00:26:37Which reminds me, have you packed the massage table?
00:26:39Yes, Kel.
00:26:40Relax.
00:26:41Actually speaking, is that my traps are tight, dog?
00:26:43Can you give them a bit of a rub?
00:26:44Sure, how's that feel?
00:26:45Oh!
00:26:46Oh!
00:26:47Yeah, that's real.
00:26:48Oh, Kel.
00:26:49Oh!
00:26:50That feels really good.
00:26:52You know, Kel, I just want to say thank you for being my human.
00:26:59And thank you, Kat, for being my human.
00:27:02My damn foxy human.
00:27:14Oh, wow.
00:27:15What's this lift called, Steven?
00:27:17A koala lift.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:19I feel more like a possum.
00:27:20For me to go on Kath and Kim was really just, um, look, it's a great show and I have a
00:27:25lot of risk for it.
00:27:26And it has that really Australian sort of today lingo about it.
00:27:32And I think, you know, to have an Aboriginal essence in there, you know, Aboriginal people,
00:27:38you know, we are serious people.
00:27:40We are proud of our culture.
00:27:41But we're the same.
00:27:42We would laugh at ourselves as well.
00:27:43And I think it's just really supporting the perspective of laughter, really.
00:27:47Oh, wow.
00:27:48It's amazing, Steven.
00:27:49Where's that from?
00:27:50Is that from Armour?
00:27:51No.
00:27:52Hello, darling.
00:27:53Most of our Bangarra choreography is, um, drawn from the earth and the ground.
00:27:57And it's grounded.
00:27:58And it's all, it's in barefoot.
00:27:59And, you know, so I think for her, it was just giving her those literal sort of essences
00:28:04of what that is.
00:28:05And kicking the earth.
00:28:06And feel the earth.
00:28:07You know, we talk about kicking, kicking the earth and feeling the earth.
00:28:10And, uh, certain flexing the feets.
00:28:12It was hard to sort of lose it.
00:28:13But I think she got the kick and feel quite good, actually.
00:28:16Stop.
00:28:17I've, I've seen enough.
00:28:19I have to say, Steven, I'm a huge fan of the Bangarra Dance Company.
00:28:23Well, now you've seen Chops.
00:28:25Do you think there's any chance for a lead for me soon?
00:28:27Keep your mind hot.
00:28:29Oh, okay.
00:28:30Oh, okay, look at that.
00:28:31Alright, bye.
00:28:32Maggie.
00:28:33Seriously, that's all.
00:28:35Oh, well, we've got to a head.
00:28:36We've got to get a moment when the head like what you've done.
00:28:37It's just a breath alive.
00:28:38I don't need another one.
00:28:39Dude, I've got nothing.
00:28:40Get on and wear them gowns.
00:28:41So, I call it, I feel so lonely when Europe gets down.
00:28:42I'm in the morning with a head like what you've done
00:28:45It's just a breath of life, but I don't need another one
00:28:49You're not cutting up and getting on to wear them gowns
00:28:54So I call my feel so lonely when you're up getting down
00:28:58So I'll be waiting long when I can hear that dancing song
00:29:03I'm gonna be the one who gets it right
00:29:06I don't feel like dancing with me, yo, Joe, with a place
00:29:11My heart could take a chance, but my two feet can't find a way
00:29:15You'll think that I could muster up a little soft, shoot and sway
00:29:20But I don't feel like dancing, no, sir, no dancing today
00:29:24Don't feel like dancing, dancing, I'm giving up and finding the best to do
00:29:29Don't feel like dancing, dancing, I'm breaking down when I'm running the moon
00:29:33Don't feel like dancing, dancing, I'd rather be hard with the one who's been to die with you
00:29:41Don't feel like dancing, dancing, I'm giving up and finding the best to do
00:29:46Don't feel like dancing, dancing, I'm breaking down when I'm running the moon
00:29:51Don't feel like dancing, dancing, I'm giving up and finding the best to do
00:29:55It's down with you!
00:30:05Warne just got your sentry. He's back in top form, Kim.
00:30:09Oh my God, Shane Warne!
00:30:11This is a dream come true for you, isn't it?
00:30:13Oh!
00:30:14To pick up two hornbags like us.
00:30:16I guess it's a bit of a hire for you in your career.
00:30:18Definitely. Right up there.
00:30:20What about the ashes, you know?
00:30:21Ah, forget the ashes.
00:30:22Being on the soil, guys, I thought were fantastic.
00:30:24If you're welcome.
00:30:25Would you be able to sign one of my balls?
00:30:27You just want the one signed?
00:30:29Just the one.
00:30:30Okay, I'll get a felt tip.
00:30:31Okay, right there.
00:30:33Here's another who came in the world and, you know, totally put it in.
00:30:36Will there be any spare space for me to sign them?
00:30:38They're quite big.
00:30:42I was worried about it, trying to rehearse lines and never do that,
00:30:44so I'm trying to remember those lines.
00:30:45G'day, Spunky.
00:30:46Sorry I'm late.
00:30:47But why didn't you call me or SMS?
00:30:49I don't know, I don't have a...
00:30:50I don't...
00:30:51Welcome to our world.
00:30:54Sorry.
00:30:55We had a lesson, he called us the flipper.
00:30:57Flipper comes out light.
00:31:00Oh, God.
00:31:01That's so amazing.
00:31:02That's a pretty good catch.
00:31:04And then practice getting it higher.
00:31:06And then higher.
00:31:07Like that's easy.
00:31:08The flipper is.
00:31:09Uh-oh.
00:31:11Oh, look at that.
00:31:12That's it.
00:31:13That is.
00:31:14Perfect.
00:31:15You just need it.
00:31:16I thought you would have caught that actually.
00:31:17Oh, no, I was a bit...
00:31:18Sorry, I was taped up.
00:31:19Oh, oh.
00:31:20That's right.
00:31:21So, the easiest way, honestly, is to do that.
00:31:23Put that on.
00:31:24Yeah.
00:31:25And then try and get it up.
00:31:26As far as you can.
00:31:27You get that to go straight like that.
00:31:28It's actually quite hard.
00:31:29So, then when you bowl it out here.
00:31:30Yeah.
00:31:31It's just the clipping of the finger.
00:31:32Yeah, all the guys had to go out the flipper.
00:31:34With varying degrees of success.
00:31:35Yeah, I didn't get it at all.
00:31:36I think he was pretty impressed with me.
00:31:37Nah.
00:31:38So, that is just incredibly hard.
00:31:39I can't do it.
00:31:40Three years of technique.
00:31:41She got it very, very quickly.
00:31:42She was a master class.
00:31:43In the end, she was showing me some tissues that could.
00:31:44Who's that?
00:31:45Yes!
00:31:46That's good.
00:31:47Oh, no.
00:31:48Oh, no.
00:31:49Oh, no.
00:31:50Oh, no.
00:31:51Oh, no.
00:31:52Oh, no.
00:31:53Oh, no.
00:31:54Oh, no.
00:31:55Oh, no.
00:31:56Oh, no.
00:31:57Oh, no.
00:31:58Oh, no.
00:31:59Oh, no.
00:32:00Oh, no.
00:32:01Oh, no.
00:32:02Oh, no.
00:32:03Oh, no.
00:32:04Oh, no.
00:32:05Oh, no.
00:32:06Oh, no.
00:32:07Oh, no.
00:32:08Good technique.
00:32:09I'd be available for the next tour.
00:32:10Yeah.
00:32:11You can go.
00:32:12I can flip.
00:32:13You can flip now.
00:32:14Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:32:16I love you, Wayne.
00:32:18And then...
00:32:19I wasn't too nervous about kissing,
00:32:21and I was actually looking forward to the big guy.
00:32:23This is what you signed him for.
00:32:25I love you, Wayne.
00:32:26I'm sorry.
00:32:27I was thinking he's Wayne a shirt.
00:32:29I can say nothing.
00:32:30I'm confused.
00:32:31And...
00:32:32It's because I know I've got a passionate voice.
00:32:36Oh, my goodness.
00:32:37Go!
00:32:38I love you.
00:32:40Sorry.
00:32:41Oh!
00:32:42Oh!
00:32:43Yeah!
00:32:44Oh!
00:32:45Oh!
00:32:46Oh!
00:32:47Oh!
00:32:48Oh!
00:32:49Oh, I've become.
00:32:50Oh, I'm going to get Chloe!
00:32:51Oh!
00:32:52Oh!
00:32:53Oh!
00:32:54Oh!
00:32:55Oh!
00:32:56Oh!
00:32:57Oh!
00:32:58Oh!
00:32:59That's gorgeous.
00:33:00One, two...
00:33:01Oh!
00:33:02Oh!
00:33:03Oh!
00:33:04Oh!
00:33:05Oh!
00:33:06Oh!
00:33:07That's gorgeous!
00:33:08One, two...
00:33:09Money is really tired.
00:33:22Yeah, I hear you.
00:33:24We're going to have to cut back.
00:33:26Yeah, I know.
00:33:28Maybe Ips doesn't need a new outfit every season.
00:33:31Thanks, Shana.
00:33:32Yep, circled back to me on that.
00:33:34Kim?
00:33:34That was an estate agent.
00:33:36The penthouse above Mum's new places for...
00:33:38What'd you think?
00:33:39Ips and me can wear her clacky heels day and night driving her nuts.
00:33:43We can't afford to live in fountain legs, Kim.
00:33:46We can't afford to grow up, Brett.
00:33:48I need to live in the style to which I've become accustomed.
00:33:52And Epsa's going to crack it if she doesn't get the new Dulcy and Cabana baby bumpsters and kitty kitten heels.
00:33:57What?
00:33:58You know what they say, Brett?
00:33:59You're only as hot as your hottest child.
00:34:01If you can't give me what I want, I'll find someone who can.
00:34:05Sorry, Kim.
00:34:06Please don't leave me.
00:34:07I can't turn this around, Brett, like you're the victim here.
00:34:11Everyone knows that I'll get the villain edit that I'm really the nice one.
00:34:15I'm not sure that's exactly right.
00:34:17Let me finish.
00:34:17You knew I was a gold digger when you married me,
00:34:20and I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure
00:34:21less than me live a happy and preposterous life.
00:34:26Do you think you can help us marry her?
00:34:27As a certified sexologist and cuddle party convener,
00:34:32I have strategies and exercises that will help you reconnect.
00:34:37So, first things first, let's take off our clothes.
00:34:42Me first.
00:34:46I think look at Parliament if you were going to try and see who had Catherine Kim-style traits.
00:34:51There's probably more people with Kim-style traits.
00:34:53Who were the first two people to land on the moon?
00:34:56Oh, I know this, I know this.
00:34:58Armstrong.
00:34:59Armstrong, yes.
00:35:00Kerry Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear.
00:35:02Buzz Lightyear?
00:35:03Kim, Buzz Lightyear is a toy.
00:35:05Didn't you learn anything at school?
00:35:06Well, it's close enough.
00:35:07Give it to you.
00:35:08No, you're not getting...
00:35:09By that, I mean,
00:35:10there's quite a few people who think
00:35:12they're a lot better at the job than they really are.
00:35:14There was a big fat problem in your way, wasn't there?
00:35:17Me.
00:35:17I think he'll not have to be Mr. Small Business
00:35:25because he knows what it's like,
00:35:26no purveyor of fine beets.
00:35:28Mrs. Driscoll, what can I do for you?
00:35:30Fourteen chicken Mary land.
00:35:32Fourteen.
00:35:32He knows what it's like to be out there in the business world.
00:35:35Well, if you need chili, I'm like him.
00:35:37If you need anyone, if you need, if you need.
00:35:40If you need, I'm like him.
00:35:41Sharon would absolutely have to be Mr. For Sport.
00:35:44I mean, there's no portfolio for her.
00:35:45She wouldn't have to change her wardrobe.
00:35:47Sharon?
00:35:50Haven't you got anything else?
00:35:51Oh, yes.
00:35:52Thank God.
00:35:53Oh, winter uniforms.
00:35:55She'd be able to go to all of the sporting events.
00:35:57She'd share her sporting secrets with our elite athletes,
00:36:00which I'm sure would prove performance.
00:36:02Brett's out there.
00:36:03What's he going to think?
00:36:04I don't even know the rules.
00:36:05I don't know how to play the game.
00:36:06What are you doing?
00:36:07I'll play the game, probably, Sharon!
00:36:09I always loved Prue and Prue.
00:36:11I just want to go bush.
00:36:13You know, somewhere off the beaten track.
00:36:15Really?
00:36:15So where are we going to go?
00:36:16No.
00:36:17No, sir.
00:36:17But the truth is, they wouldn't be in my government.
00:36:20They'd be on the opposition benches.
00:36:21Hey, can I help you?
00:36:23You're just happy brancing.
00:36:24Oh, no.
00:36:25Sharon's getting married.
00:36:26Oh, congratulations.
00:36:28Beautiful.
00:36:30Yes.
00:36:30If you had to pick between Kat and Kim for Prime Minister,
00:36:32you would have to pick Kat.
00:36:33Hello, pupils.
00:36:35I just want to make a little speech here just to fill in some time.
00:36:38All right, pupils.
00:36:40I'm glad you're all here.
00:36:41Well, hi, everybody, and welcome to the auction of number four Lagoon Court, Fountain Lakes.
00:36:48It has six bedrooms, peoples.
00:36:50Yes, not five, but six bedrooms, including one in the garage and one in the toot.
00:36:56I think she would have the sort of determination to do the job.
00:37:01She'd be there with the sayings that the whole nation would speak to.
00:37:04I mean, who would watch a press conference that starts with, look at me?
00:37:07Look at me.
00:37:07Look at me.
00:37:07Look at me.
00:37:08Look at me.
00:37:08Look at me.
00:37:09287, take three.
00:37:10When they rang and asked me on the show, I'm a huge fan.
00:37:13It's the biggest decision ever.
00:37:14I haven't encountered a movie star of that caliber before, just day to day.
00:37:18I mean, I've seen a couple of stars who put things down Fountain Gate about their theatre
00:37:21work, and I just played the gobbler.
00:37:23He's got a gobbler at Fountain Lakes to play it, and I think he was pretty Chris there.
00:37:25Who'd you play the gobbler?
00:37:27Eric's nice.
00:37:28I just thought I'd go back a long way.
00:37:29In actual fact, he's a workshop.
00:37:31He made his first sausage with me, and he would have that.
00:37:32I think Eric was a bit naughty, actually, because, you know, he was putting it out there,
00:37:37and Kel was around.
00:37:38You know, I was stuck literally being a rock and a hard place once.
00:37:40He's a glamour.
00:37:42I mean, I have a line in the show where I see you're obviously an actress being such a
00:37:45looker, and it's not a hard line to say, because, I mean, I mean, he's got eyes.
00:37:49I just kind of stuff these guys, really.
00:37:51I just tried to not laugh.
00:37:56With their special tribute to grand final day, please welcome Kath and Kim.
00:38:10They call me Lady Bump, Lady Bump, it's no lie.
00:38:33Lady Bump, Lady Bump, it's no lie.
00:38:59Lady Bump, Lady Bump, just the music takes me hoi.
00:39:07Hey, boy.
00:39:09Lady Bump, Lady Bump, it's no lie.
00:39:12It's too hoi for me.
00:39:14Oh, not for me.
00:39:15Ah!
00:39:16Lady Bump, Lady Bump, look at me and you'll know boy.
00:39:22Lady, this is great.
00:39:29Country craft, crafty, c—
00:39:35Ah.
00:39:36Sorry.
00:39:39I can't be hard.
00:39:40Ah, do you have flutes in your orifice?
00:39:44Sorry.
00:39:44da recording, col-start.
00:39:46here we go and action. Do you have flutes in your orifice? Yes, I do. Sorry, sorry, I'll get there.
00:39:58Here we go, still recording. I'll cry again. Okay, here we go and action. Oh, do you have flutes
00:40:05in your orifice? Yes, I do. Oh, do you have flutes in your orifice?
00:40:26No, Sharon, cold feet's just your gout. Send them all your banking details and don't
00:40:31forget the passwords. What are you doing? Oh, it's just a little housewarming gift for
00:40:38the new owners. You know, I just want everything to look nice and tizzy. Who ended up buying
00:40:43this dump anyway? I don't know, but whoever they are, they've got plenty of moolah. Well,
00:40:48here it is, Prude. What do you think? Oh, no, Trude. It's an absolute eyesore. Shocking.
00:40:54I mean, dreadful borrowings. What are we going to do with it? Where do you start? You don't.
00:41:00Bulldozer's here tomorrow. Oh, you've really got me going there. I thought you'd lost your
00:41:05marbles. Well, no, Prude, since you and I have left homewares and are now in the financial
00:41:10advising space, we've got to, you know, stir the door. Comprender? No. Oh, yes, of course.
00:41:17You know, just make a little donation to council, go up 10 storeys, build 50 units. Oh, great.
00:41:23Love it. And neighbours won't be happy. And the problem is?
00:41:27Oh, you're dreadful dread. Namby, brr. Namby. Home and away, Hayley Audition 302 and action.
00:41:37Maybe you should stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about what's for Hayley.
00:41:39Why don't you stay out of this? There's nothing to do with you. Well, it does matter to me
00:41:42about the health of my baby. I'll never do anything with Hayley's health and risk.
00:41:45Really? Well, she's got out of school. Who's got to reckon that was?
00:41:47Oh, stop it, you guys. Don't be grateful while you're fighting. Scott, I think you'd better go.
00:41:53Hey, Hayley. Now go, Samoosh, get out. Fuck. Sorry, it's just the thought of sharing you with another guy again.
00:42:00No, you're a human. I'm a whore there. Yeah, well, I'm here for you, OK?
00:42:03Well, I'm feeling vulnerable. Thank you. No, it's alright, we get to pass now.
00:42:08Thank you. No, we are, we are. Are we mental?
00:42:11It's a few tons of home and away. Right, enough of a minute. Yes, sir.
00:42:14Now tell us, uh, give me your bits at London. You suggest taking...
00:42:17We've just been to London, yeah, we have. We did all the tourist things. Well, I did.
00:42:20I did the Tower of London, Westminster Abbey, David Beckham.
00:42:23Yeah. Yeah, it was great.
00:42:26When I first saw Kath and Kim, to be honest, it was like a breath of fresh air.
00:42:30Now, empty your mind. Em...
00:42:33Empty. Oh, that was quick.
00:42:36It came in two-fold, actually, because I have two friends. One who loves comedy and one who's not a very big comedy fan.
00:42:41And one of them said to me, the one who's not a comedy fan, he said,
00:42:43Have you seen this amazing documentary on the BBC? And I said, No.
00:42:47Oh, look at the time, Kel. You've got to get to Jazzercise. Your foot of bike shorts are in the dryer.
00:42:51They should be dry by now. And my other friend said,
00:42:54Have you seen this amazing comedy on the BBC? I said, No.
00:42:57And they're both about the same program, Kath and Kim. I thought, how could they get it so wrong?
00:43:00I watched it myself. Good comedy. Sorry, I want to be effluent, Mum. Effluent.
00:43:05You are effluent, Kim. The testament to the success of Kim is when it actually got to the forefront
00:43:12of the highly prestigious British Com awards when it's up against international big hitters.
00:43:17Sit back and enjoy the award show where anything can happen and probably will.
00:43:28Back from Australia, you can't...
00:43:30No. I'm wearing Louise V Tom.
00:43:32It's me, Tom.
00:43:33Yes.
00:43:34It's a little bit like Mariah Carey.
00:43:36My fragrance tonight is Delusion by Nutella Versace.
00:43:41Oh!
00:43:42And I'm wearing Insania by Peter Andre because I'm...
00:43:45Let's find out and have a look at the nominations for Best Comedy TV Show.
00:43:50Curb Your Enthusiasm.
00:43:54Kath & Kim.
00:43:58The Simpsons.
00:44:02Please welcome two Australian comedians and the funniest thing to come out of Australia since their picket team.
00:44:08It's Kath & Kim.
00:44:22Lovely to meet you both.
00:44:24Ditto Jonathan, ditto big time.
00:44:26We're grateful, we've bloody lost.
00:44:28What's that for?
00:44:30I'm sorry.
00:44:31No, it's humiliating.
00:44:32No, yes.
00:44:33I've changed.
00:44:34I've gone and dressed down.
00:44:35Neat-type casual.
00:44:36Do you think your pants are high enough, Mum?
00:44:37What?
00:44:38What's the matter with a high-type pant?
00:44:39I mean, Simon Calfabre's a high pant.
00:44:40Ha-ha!
00:44:41And here's an empty seat.
00:44:42Who are you waiting for?
00:44:45Our best lap ladies, all the way from Australia, Kath & Kim.
00:44:50I'm trying to lay out myself because of me and Miss Kelly!
00:45:20I've got the captain of the team, if you don't mind.
00:45:24I'm a class act, you see. I get the captain.
00:45:28Nothing against Gilly.
00:45:30I think he's... He reminds me a bit of Kel, actually.
00:45:35No, no. That's real.
00:45:37No, if he just brushed his head...
00:45:38What are you going to do for me now, you see?
00:45:41Is he all going to be doing a little master chef cooking?
00:45:43I need a cookbook.
00:45:45Oh, you are kidding.
00:45:46No, no, no. You take it.
00:45:47How about some real food? Hello?
00:45:50Oh, catch it. Catch it.
00:45:54He couldn't even catch it.
00:45:56What's going on?
00:46:00I've got something to put on your plug for Ricky.
00:46:12We've got ten minutes, people. Let's go.
00:46:17And I know what you could do. You do this.
00:46:20I'm doing a bit of protrude here, even though I'm not...
00:46:29I just love anything in a room.
00:46:34I love them.
00:46:38I'm dreadfully...
00:46:40It's very naughty, breaking out of character.
00:46:42I love them.
00:46:43What?
00:46:46Oh, come on.
00:46:47Let me do it.
00:46:48Let me do it.
00:46:53Let me do it!
00:46:53I'm hungry!
00:46:57OK.
00:46:58Let me get a little phone here, please.
00:47:00Anybody who wants to go, anybody who wants to go to Steve and for Adam, for the handoff,
00:47:08Jack and Rick.
00:47:20That's nice, that's nice.
00:47:22Thank you!
00:47:24Oh my God!
00:47:37Kat, have you seen my air supply CDs? I swear they were in the good room.
00:47:41Oh no, not at all doll, no.
00:47:44Well, I think that's done.
00:47:46Yep, absolutely. How about one last time on the outdoor one?
00:47:51Ooh, Kel. Ooh, that feels nice.
00:47:55Oh, careful, Kel, you're dividing. McClivey is, love.
00:47:58Hello, revolting.
00:48:01Oh, well, hello, Christmas. Don't you two look flies?
00:48:06Don't know how. Kimmy's done it.
00:48:08Yep, we're officially stanky rich.
00:48:11Oh, hallelujah, Kel, we've got the warehouse to ourselves.
00:48:15Oh, even better.
00:48:16Threaten me have brought back Lagoon Court, so get out of my crib.
00:48:20What are you talking about?
00:48:22The stuff fell through.
00:48:23Evidently, the new owners were ripping off their family and friends for millions.
00:48:27Oh, one of those Fonzie schemes.
00:48:29Oh, I've heard of those.
00:48:30Eee.
00:48:31Oh, no, Kel.
00:48:33They disappear with all the cash.
00:48:35Oh, well, I think we dodged a bullet, love.
00:48:38Our townhouse is in the family. Wow.
00:48:41Oh, no, we're knocking it down.
00:48:42We're putting a basketball court and a helipad on the roof, aren't we, mate?
00:48:45Yeah.
00:48:46Oh, Sharon.
00:48:51Why the round face?
00:48:53I've been cleaned out of savings, Mrs. D.
00:48:56I've been catfished, gas-leaded and ghosted.
00:48:59Look what I've got left of the clothes on my back and my front.
00:49:03Where will I go?
00:49:04What will I do?
00:49:05Well, frankly, Sharon, you've always been unlucky in love.
00:49:08But I've got a whole lot of non-stop tokens in the kitchen. Would that help?
00:49:12I can't believe this is happening to me again.
00:49:15You just have to move back in with Fred and Kim.
00:49:17Well, no way. There's no room.
00:49:19That is so mean, Kim. You know I'm desperate.
00:49:22Oh, I am not.
00:49:23You are...
00:49:24Take that back.
00:49:25Take that back.
00:49:26Time out. Time out, please.
00:49:28Now, Kimmy, Kimmy, look at me, look at me, look at me.
00:49:33Look at me.
00:49:35Now, Sharon, look at me.
00:49:37Now, Kim, look at Sharon.
00:49:39Sharon, look at Kim.
00:49:41Brett, look at Kel.
00:49:43Kel, look at Brett.
00:49:44Now, everyone, look at me, please.
00:49:46Now, I've got one word to say to you.
00:49:50Start your engines and may the best drag queen win.
00:49:56Category is Finest Sheila in the Bush.
00:50:00That's a lot of bottlers of vino on her head.
00:50:03Yes.
00:50:05Tonight on the runway, I am serving Outback Steakhouse realness.
00:50:09I'll take off the hat and bam!
00:50:12I'm Cass Day-Night, baby.
00:50:16Tonight on the runway was so fun.
00:50:18I'm a huge, huge Captain Kim fanatic.
00:50:21So I'm glad that you brought her to the main stage.
00:50:23It was unusual.
00:50:24It was great.
00:50:26It was such a treat.
00:50:27I loved doing it.
00:50:28I was inspired by the episode where they go to the airport
00:50:30and leave the airport
00:50:31and it's the best holiday at the airport.
00:50:35What a huge range of coochies they've got.
00:50:39That show has been played internationally
00:50:41and I've been touring the world since.
00:50:43And I get all these people that come up to me
00:50:45and they go,
00:50:46Oh my God, I've never seen that show before.
00:50:48Catherine Kine.
00:50:49They've fallen in love with it.
00:50:51I think that gay men
00:50:53I think that gay men
00:50:54They've got
00:50:56They've got
00:50:57They've got
00:50:58They've got
00:50:59They've got
00:51:00They've got
00:51:01They've got
00:51:02They've got
00:51:03When have they had
00:51:04two ladies from like the deeps boobs?
00:51:05Do you know what I really miss mum?
00:51:06Going to the pub and getting literally
00:51:08less.
00:51:09That is it.
00:51:10That is it.
00:51:11They're the idols.
00:51:12They're the people.
00:51:13Look a boy.
00:51:14Look a boy.
00:51:26I don't even know that.
00:51:27Like I'm warning you, take now.
00:51:28Wait a couple of the guys!
00:51:31Can?
00:51:33Kim?
00:51:34Kimmy?
00:51:35You, Kimberly.
00:51:37Everybody.
00:51:38I'm scared that I can live in time.
00:51:477-11, take one.
00:51:51I don't drink very well.
00:51:57You've got the manure.
00:51:59Well, you've got the manure bit right.
00:52:01Cut!
00:52:08Cut!
00:52:15Cut!
00:52:17Cut!
00:52:18Cut!
00:52:19Cut it out.
00:52:19Cut!
00:52:21Cut.
00:52:22Cut!
00:52:23Cut!
00:52:24Cut!
00:52:24Cut.
00:52:26Cut!
00:52:26Cut!
00:52:27Cut!
00:52:28Cut!
00:52:29Cut!
00:52:31Kimmy.
00:52:32Look at my phone.
00:52:33Hey, make him out.
00:52:36Yeah, beautiful.
00:52:37Look at this.
00:52:38Sharon, look at me.
00:52:39Ebony Ray, look at me.
00:52:40Ebony...
00:52:41Look at me, Lee.
00:52:42Well, Kel actually thinks
00:52:43he's clowning glory.
00:52:44He can't get enough of me.
00:52:45Where if...
00:52:46Sorry.
00:52:48You can...
00:52:49Cassicumon, it's not a pretty side.
00:52:53I'll join your...
00:52:54I should do that.
00:52:55Yeah, like...
00:52:55Is that a sidekick?
00:52:58Now, from one bird's eye to you.
00:53:00Jopu.
00:53:01What?
00:53:04Here we go again.
00:53:05Kel, get the boomerang pillow.
00:53:06Get the boomerang pillow.
00:53:07Listen, you just sit down and shut up.
00:53:10You're done quite enough.
00:53:11He can't seem to get enough of it,
00:53:12wherever it may be.
00:53:14Anyway, what interest is it of yours?
00:53:16I don't know.
00:53:16I don't think of your bad breath.
00:53:18No.
00:53:18I'll join you, love.
00:53:21The off-water service
00:53:22ain't enough of the three of us.
00:53:25I've got a stone-cold shower for you, sir, eh?
00:53:27I'd make something of that.
00:53:29Me too.
00:53:30You're so threatening.
00:53:32What interest is it?
00:53:33You've quit the...
00:53:34She has cut-to-geek.
00:53:39My ass.
00:53:39I'm not even dead.
00:53:40He's a villain.
00:53:41Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:53:44Cause I'm pissing like a...
00:53:45There we go for a first drive.
00:53:51Right.
00:53:52Get up.
00:53:53I can't wait until you take my name.
00:53:56No!
00:53:56No!
00:53:56Ah!
00:53:56Get up!
00:53:57No!
00:53:57No!
00:53:58Cut!
00:54:00Stop it!
00:54:02Stop it!
00:54:04Security!
00:54:06Security!
00:54:08Cut, thank you.
00:54:24We've got some scenes to block, we've got lines to do.
00:54:26You know, this bloody TV show doesn't make itself
00:54:28with this kicking footy around.
00:54:30Yep.
00:54:32Square.
00:54:34We're going to re-enact
00:54:36our tragic law, yeah.
00:54:38Someone's already kicked off a stinky milk.
00:54:40Diving Australia.
00:54:42I'll have a peek on your nose, Sharon.
00:54:44That's what I do.
00:54:46We're talking.
00:54:48And then he talks.
00:54:50Stupid.
00:54:52You go bing.
00:54:54Yeah, thank you.
00:54:56Speed.
00:54:58Don't worry.
00:55:00Here we go, you're rolling.
00:55:02Watch your reflections, and action!
00:55:06Mum!
00:55:08I was drowned!
00:55:10See you guys, lovely.
00:55:14March!
00:55:16Another day!
00:55:18I'll smack.
00:55:20I got to smash.
00:55:22Fuck!
00:55:24Come on!
00:55:26I just gotta smash this.
00:55:28You've been dead at your feet.
00:55:30You've been dead.
00:55:32You've been dead.
00:55:33I think you've done really well, Kim, buying in right at the top of the market and paying
00:56:02well over the reserve. Good girl. Are you loving it? No. There's something wrong with it. I want my money back. What are you talking about? I'm not dirty. I'm not here for it. Well, don't look at me. This neat freak has left the building. Boring people have clean houses. And another thing I want to discuss with you, Kimmy, is Sharon. Now, I've always known you were thick as two planks, but I never thought you were cruel. Me? Cruel? She's the cruel one. Totally lied about how much money she
00:56:32had. Now I can't make repayments on the house. I'm going to have to move. Well, it's catfish karma for you, isn't it, Kim? I think you need to say sorry to Sharon and clean
00:56:41out your chakras. And while you're at it, you can go and clean the downstairs toot. It's absolutely foul.
00:56:46Stupid girl.
00:56:51There's always a joker in the pack. There's always a lonely clown.
00:56:58Gina, you're coming!
00:56:59There is a jester, just a fool, as foolish as he can be. There's always a joker, that's the rule.
00:57:09The fake deals a hand and I see. The joker is me. The joker is me. The joker is me.
00:57:22The joker is me. Yeah!
00:57:32Hey, Kimmy, um, me and the boys are going to play some pool. Do you want to play some pool?
00:57:37Oh, director! Oh! Oh! Oh!
00:57:41I'm going to do a speed run. I want you to pull all the faces. You're going to pull it in double time.
00:57:45Let's move it. Up on the f- Oh, ow!
00:57:49My props! I never work with props as kids. I never work with props as kids.
00:57:55Let's be fine, mate. I won't be here. I won't be here.
00:57:58I won't be here. I won't be here. I won't be here.
00:58:01I won't be here. I won't be here. You threw my step back home.
00:58:04I'll be here. I won't be here. I'll be here.
00:58:06So, did you make fun with the f-.
00:58:07Finally?
00:58:09Yes?
00:58:11Who'll get your sh-
00:58:12Sh-
00:58:13Okay, enough go.
00:58:17Hold.
00:58:21You must've been desperate to suck a challenge.
00:58:24You sh-
00:58:25She goes, I think you look good, so you go, you're only human, you're a king.
00:58:45Right.
00:58:46I feel it, I feel it.
00:58:47You're home now.
00:58:48Three and three, take more.
00:58:49Here we go, guys.
00:58:50Should be much more.
00:58:51And thank you.
00:58:52All right, everyone, give it up for a wrap in the...
00:58:57Hello, I'm Graham.
00:58:59It is carry-out.
00:59:00It is carry-out.
00:59:01Three and three, take six.
00:59:02See, y'all think them mutton dresses mutton looks so skinny.
00:59:05Looks nice.
00:59:07Perfect.
00:59:08It's an arena.
00:59:09She's better.
00:59:10And I'm specific, because I didn't look you in mutton sleeves.
00:59:12Oh, yes.
00:59:13Look, look, look, look.
00:59:16Look, look, look.
00:59:18Pull up back up, I can see you're welcome there.
00:59:20I'd like to have a welcome there.
00:59:22You do welcome to a welcome there.
00:59:24You do have a welcome there.
00:59:25You do have a welcome there.
00:59:26Episode 8, scene 18, slate 389, deck 18B.
00:59:28The tempo is coming from here.
00:59:29The tempo is coming from here.
00:59:30The tempo is coming from here.
00:59:31Tempo muster.
00:59:32I'm a blue.
00:59:33Oh!
00:59:34That's a successful.
00:59:35There we go.
00:59:36I'm spinning, I'm running my way.
00:59:40I'm not feeling, tell me my life is.
00:59:43I'm spinning, I'm so in my way.
00:59:45I'm not feeling, just like you're a treat.
00:59:48I'm not feeling, just like you're a treat.
00:59:52I'm not feeling, just like you're a treat.
00:59:54I'm not feeling, just like you're a treat.
00:59:56I'm not feeling, just like you're a treat.
00:59:58Don't give me a treat.
01:00:00Don't give me a treat.
01:00:02Eppony, Raylene, Pauline, Charlene, darling.
01:00:05Sorry.
01:00:06Raylene.
01:00:08Mum, look at me.
01:00:10Kath, look at me.
01:00:11Louis.
01:00:12Everybody, look at me.
01:00:13Off we're decided.
01:00:15I've worked to say to you.
01:00:20Hi, Kyls.
01:00:22Good girl.
01:00:23Good girl.
01:00:24Oh, yes, Kylie.
01:00:25You are going to fit right in with your in-court scene.
01:00:28Absolutely big time.
01:00:29Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:00:30And you're bought into Fountain Lakes just at the right time.
01:00:32Prices are sky high at present.
01:00:34Yeah, well, it's boom.
01:00:35I think soon property prices have just bust.
01:00:38Yeah.
01:00:39Good girl, Kyls.
01:00:40Good girl.
01:00:41I am loving myself sick in my new two-bedroom unit.
01:00:44Kylie, would you like tonight?
01:00:48It's a stupid girl.
01:00:50It's not Cardenay.
01:00:51The pronunciation is Chardonnay.
01:00:53Mum, it's French.
01:00:55The H is silent.
01:00:56Back me up here, Kylie.
01:00:57She's right, Mrs. D.
01:00:58I've been to Paris, and the H, it is silent.
01:01:02It's super hard, isn't it?
01:01:08Wine time.
01:01:11What have you come at?
01:01:12You look tragic.
01:01:15No, Kim, I look cool.
01:01:17This is pirate core.
01:01:18You know, now we're in the CBD, I'm a total basic bitch.
01:01:22You look sad.
01:01:25No, shut up, Kim.
01:01:27Actually, it's good you're here, because I want you to film me,
01:01:30because I'm going to make my very...
01:01:31I'm going to drop a big TikTok tonight.
01:01:37Right?
01:01:38No.
01:01:39Go.
01:01:40One, two.
01:01:40There once was a ship that put to sea
01:01:43The name of the ship was a bully of tea
01:01:46The winds blew up and bowed up down
01:01:48Oh, my bully boy's boat
01:01:50Soon day, the willow man come to bring us sugar and tea and rum
01:01:54One day, when the tongue in his bun, we'll take our leave and go
01:01:59Do you think more spellings have worked?
01:02:20Oh, yes.
01:02:21I mean, no one looks that good without help.
01:02:22I mean, no one looks that good without help, isn't it?
01:02:28We tried to go on
01:02:30Can't we hope?
01:02:31No, I know
01:02:32Who are just a little bit, who are a little bit more
01:02:36You know, Brett's stressed, Kim, Kel's stressed
01:02:48I feel for the price in the Australian workplace
01:02:50I'm just on stress bigamous, that's for sure
01:03:17Oh, that toast was hot
01:03:24Oh, John Edwards, I'm passing over
01:03:28He's amazing, he's got a real sick sense, Gene
01:03:30No, it's not
01:03:46It's not, it's different
01:03:47Yeah, it's unusual
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