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00:07I don't know.
01:06Wow.
01:17I don't know.
01:48I don't know.
02:13I don't know.
02:19I don't know.
02:20I'm not the one.
02:24Are you okay?
02:25Oh my god.
02:26Do you want to switch?
02:26We can switch.
02:27What the fuck?
02:28No.
02:29Do you want me to drive?
02:30Yeah.
02:32Oh my god.
02:34Sorry.
02:34Can you talk to me so I don't fall asleep again?
02:36Okay.
02:37Okay.
02:39Um...
02:39Oh.
02:40The original Coldies is coming up with a nice sound.
02:43Yeah?
02:43Yeah.
02:44Coldies?
02:45What?
02:45They didn't have Coldies in Oregon?
02:49Well, you've heard of Coldies though, right?
02:51No.
02:51The frozen custard shop?
02:52No.
02:52Bro, are you kidding?
02:55What about Larry Poole, the founder of Coldies?
02:58How would I know of the founder of an ice cream shop that I've never heard of?
03:01I mean, he also murdered three women.
03:04And it's custard, not ice cream.
03:07Oh my god.
03:07How?
03:08They make it different from ice cream.
03:10It uses more eggs or something.
03:12It was strangulation I think mostly.
03:14There's this podcast about Larry Poole.
03:16And it talks about this woman who tried to kill in the early 90s.
03:20And she was like eight months pregnant.
03:22And she just talks about all the fucking shit she had to do to survive.
03:26I mean, what kind of fucking shit?
03:29I was in his truck and he was taking me down this remote highway.
03:33And that's when I noticed this tiny little shoe at my feet.
03:37A Barbie shoe.
03:38That could have meant he had a daughter.
03:40So I told him I was having a little girl.
03:43I was pregnant.
03:44I kept reminding him I'm pregnant.
03:45Then I saw a rest stop sign.
03:48I asked if he could stop.
03:50And he just reached over and he slit my throat.
03:55It felt hot.
03:58The blood coming out of me.
04:01And what I didn't expect is that when you lose a lot of blood,
04:05you can feel actually euphoric.
04:10It was the same way I felt on my wedding day.
04:13More than near death.
04:16It was almost like love.
04:20And then Larry threw me out on the side of the road.
04:24I just kept thinking, if you close your eyes, you'll die here.
04:30So I got up.
04:32I walked along the road holding my throat together.
04:35And I started to feel less euphoric and more melted like I was disappearing.
04:41But at the same time, like, I was running a marathon.
04:45And I was winning.
04:47I was winning.
04:50I made it to the rest stop.
04:51A young couple was there.
04:53Their eyes.
04:54God, they were horrified by the sight of me.
04:58But they were so kind.
05:01And thank God for them.
05:02Thank God for them.
05:03Those people saved my life.
05:06I'm gonna grab a lighter from the gas station.
05:08You want anything?
05:10Maybe, uh, cinnamon gum?
05:12It's not that gross.
05:13It's pretty gross.
05:14Oh, will you, uh, save us the-
05:15Window booth, yeah.
05:23That's everybody's fine.
05:28No doubt about it.
05:31I really think you're fine.
05:34Ooh, baby.
05:35I'll shout all about it.
05:38Tell the world you're mine.
05:41Ooh, baby.
05:43He's got a higher desire.
05:45And what?
05:46It's not just that.
05:47I heard that you can also actually feel your bones and organs shifting to make room for the baby to
05:51come out.
05:52You know some women have giant babies, haven't you heard of that?
05:55Like, 12-pound babies.
05:57Huge heads just tearing everything.
05:59We wouldn't have a huge baby.
06:01How do you know?
06:02Well, I just think that, like, our future baby would be dainty.
06:10You can't guarantee that.
06:12I don't want to be torn open.
06:14It'll be small, I promise.
06:15Like this.
06:16Smaller.
06:16Smaller?
06:17Okay.
06:18Smaller than that.
06:20Smaller.
06:21Smaller.
06:22I can't.
06:23Okay.
06:24That's good.
06:26Wait.
06:27That's so close.
06:29Holy shit.
06:30Really?
06:30Yeah, wait.
06:31I gotta show you.
06:31Hold on.
06:32With bad things happening to him.
06:34Why does he keep getting up?
06:35I don't know.
06:36The guy loves dogs.
06:38He loves dogs, then why do they keep going missing?
06:40What do you want me to say?
06:42Dogs go missing.
06:43No, dogs don't go missing.
06:45Cats go missing.
06:46That's not how it works.
06:48Are you sure you've never seen the logo before?
06:50I mean, it's identical.
06:52It is weird.
06:54No.
06:54You even got the pose right and everything.
06:56Yeah.
06:58That's crazy.
06:59It was six cents or something.
07:01Did I ever tell you about my dad's girlfriend, the one that had the daughter of Kathy?
07:05No, keep going.
07:06So this four-year-old girl, Kathy, she could remember her past life.
07:09And she always talked about her late husband and how he drowned trying to rescue their son from the rapids.
07:17Sounds like Kathy had a great imagination.
07:19No, I think that children can inexplicably exist in a third dimension or at least remember their past lives and,
07:27I don't know, maybe even the future.
07:29And I think that's weird.
07:31I don't like it.
07:32Or, Kathy had a great imagination.
07:36You didn't know Kathy.
07:37She was haunted.
07:38I don't want haunted children.
07:42Yeah, well, we won't haunt them.
07:44Make them out haunted.
07:46You're not haunted.
07:47You can't know that for sure.
07:49I hope our kid comes out like you.
07:51That's very sweet.
07:56At least my mom would have to skip that part.
07:59Which part?
08:00The whole thing.
08:02I mean, aren't children just basically like a vessel for old people to pour their love into?
08:07Just distracting the inevitable loneliness of aging.
08:09Wow.
08:10That's a great lunch.
08:12I mean, what reason would a person have to keep losing their daughter?
08:15It's not like it's on purpose.
08:17I'm like, who cares?
08:19Do I get banned from another daughter?
08:20What's wrong?
08:23It's okay.
08:24I didn't even know her.
08:26Yeah.
08:26It's fine.
08:29We had such a great seven and a half months together.
08:32It was so good.
08:33I didn't, I didn't really even need any more.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Yeah.
08:38I've actually heard that.
08:39That's, um, that's a secret to a healthy adulthood.
08:42What?
08:43A dead mother and an agoraphobic father?
08:47Yeah.
08:47It's perfect.
08:48I think I read a New York Times article about it.
08:50And they said also that someone with overbearing parents makes the perfect match for someone
08:55with a dead mother and a strange father.
08:57Should we, like, get married or something?
08:59Oh, I'm thinking really small ceremony in my parents' little vacation cabin in the woods.
09:03None of the wedding bullshit.
09:05Just beautiful nature, snow falling outside the window.
09:08And we don't have to fly.
09:09We can drive and stop at the fanciest restaurants we can find.
09:13That's it.
09:14Let's fucking go.
09:15I'll marry you.
09:15Okay, cheers.
09:18Clink.
09:20I love you.
09:21Love you.
09:22Hey.
09:23Hey.
09:24My family's gonna love you.
09:28Thanks.
09:29She's got it.
09:30We're getting married.
09:33And, um, our kid will be perfect.
09:41Don't put so much pressure on our kid.
09:44Our kid will be mediocre.
09:45Some kids kill their own parents.
09:48Okay, but how is our kid gonna kill us when it's only this big?
10:05He's killing the dogs, isn't he?
10:09What?
10:31I love you from the bottom of my heart.
10:34Nice job.
10:37My heart was made for bleeding.
10:40I love you.
10:42I love you.
10:44I love you.
10:45I love you.
10:45I love you.
10:58Ready?
10:59Three.
11:00Two.
11:02One.
11:29Two.
11:29Two.
11:32Two.
11:35Two.
11:39Two.
11:46oh
11:49ah
11:50ah
11:56babe
11:58what
11:59you weren't ready
12:00I'm sorry
12:01it was a long tunnel
12:03oh but that's bad luck
12:05I'm sorry
12:06we'll get it on the way back
12:09Fuck.
12:25Fuck.
12:58God, I gotta pee.
13:05God, I gotta pee.
13:42Oh my god, Nicky.
13:44Nicky, come here.
13:45Come here.
13:46What?
13:47Come here.
13:52Look.
13:53Oh my god.
13:53Do you think it's okay?
13:56Okay, stay here.
13:58I'm gonna go check the bathroom.
14:01Rachel, are you...
14:02I'm looking for it's parents.
14:03And, uh...
14:05Just stay.
14:05I'll be right back.
14:06Rachel.
14:08Uh...
14:09Okay.
14:09Hey.
14:10Hi, baby.
14:11What's up?
14:12No.
14:13No, no, no.
14:13Don't cry.
14:15Happy baby.
14:15Hello?
14:19Anyone in here?
14:30Oh my god.
14:37Hello?
14:38Hello?
14:38Hello?
14:51Hello?
14:54Hello?
15:03Hello?
15:15Hello?
15:17Hi.
15:17Hi.
15:43Hello?
15:54Oh, my God.
16:23Hey.
16:28I'm not getting any service.
16:30I checked the men's room.
16:31There's no one in there.
16:32Oh, fuck. No service.
16:35Okay.
16:37Um.
16:40Okay, but I think one of us should stay here with the baby
16:42and the other one should drive to the nearest, like, gas station or restaurant
16:44or whatever and call for help.
16:45Okay, yeah, um, what do you want me to...
16:47Why is it quiet?
16:48What?
16:49What if it freezes stuff in there?
16:50What if it freezes stuff in there?
16:53Oh, fuck.
16:55Okay.
16:57Uh.
16:59Did you try breaking it?
17:01Okay.
17:19What the fuck?
17:21What the fuck?
17:23Oh, my God.
17:25Oh.
17:32Oh, my God.
17:38Oh, my God.
18:17I don't know.
18:20I don't know.
18:49I don't know.
18:50Hi.
18:50Excuse me.
18:51There's a rest stop, I don't know, 20 miles south of here off the highway.
18:55I don't have any cell service, but my boyfriend and I stopped there and we found a baby abandoned
19:01in a car and I think that maybe something bad might have happened to its parents.
19:09Hey guys, are you alone out here?
19:17That's good.
19:18You're here.
19:20Oh.
19:21That's less good.
19:23Sorry, can you call the cops please?
19:27Benjamin.
19:28Yeah, Benjamin.
19:31So cool.
19:32Benjamin was the name of the guy who worked here before me.
19:36But he hung himself in the bathroom with an electrical cord and they were too cheap to get me a
19:40name tag with my own name on it.
19:43Um...
19:43So could you...
19:45Could you call the cops now please?
19:48Are you stoned?
19:52It helps me relax.
19:54You seem relaxed.
19:55Could you call the cops, please?
19:57Wait here.
19:58I'll call.
20:27I'll call.
20:29I can't help you.
20:31So sweet.
21:01Oh, fuck.
21:12Hey, you said south of here?
21:14Uh, yeah, south of here.
21:16Um, hey.
21:17Okay, stay there.
21:19Wait, Benjamin.
21:29Fuck.
21:59Fuck.
22:57I'm sure he's the one.
23:13Hey, they're coming to rescue your baby.
23:32What the fuck?
23:37Oh, my God.
23:42Oh, my God.
23:45Oh, my God.
23:47Oh, my God.
24:22I don't know.
24:40Oh, my God.
24:42Fucking damn it.
24:45Fuck.
24:48Oh, my God.
24:49Sorry.
24:50You scared me.
24:51Is the baby okay?
24:52Oh, yeah.
24:53The family came back.
24:54What?
24:55What the fuck?
24:56You're bleeding.
24:57What happened?
24:58So, they thought I was trying to steal their baby, and the guy punched me in the face.
25:02What?
25:02Yeah, they pulled over to get some fresh air because she was car sick, and then I guess
25:06they went for a walk.
25:07And what?
25:07And left their baby in the car?
25:09Yeah, I don't know.
25:10What?
25:11Is that not fucking psychotic?
25:13Let me see.
25:15Oh, you had such a nice face.
25:17Yeah, they were really apologetic.
25:20They felt like we did the right thing.
25:21Okay, I'm so glad that they felt that way.
25:24Wait, wait.
25:24Should we wait for the cops?
25:29No.
25:30No, let's get the fuck out of here.
25:45You okay?
25:46Hmm?
25:47You okay?
25:47Yeah.
25:48So tired.
26:01What is it?
26:01Uh, code is 0817.
26:04Your birthday?
26:07No pressure, marrying your favorite child.
26:10Stop.
26:11You know they can't wait to meet you.
26:26Whoa.
26:28Yeah.
26:48Your parents' little vacation cabin?
26:52Is it not a cabin?
26:54It's not little.
26:58I don't know if I have a concussion or something.
27:00God.
27:04I don't know if I have a concussion or something.
27:07You ready?
27:19Holy shit.
27:24This is insane.
27:34Oh, God.
27:36Yeah.
27:36What is...
27:37Um, it's like a tradition of the family dogs.
27:46Oh, it's actually...
27:48We always got in trouble for looking in their eyes
27:50because it was considered, like, disrespectful to do
27:53after they were dead.
27:55How would anyone know if you looked them in the eyes?
27:58Just my dad said that they could see.
28:00I just looked them in the eyes, so...
28:03Why am I in trouble?
28:05I guess we'll find out.
28:29Is that empty chair for me?
28:32I know.
28:33You've always dreamed of being painted into a family portrait
28:37guarded by two taxidermy dogs.
28:39Oh, yeah.
28:40Did they paint over your brother's ex-wife with his new one?
28:43Yeah.
28:44My sister demanded it.
28:47That's...
28:48fucking weird.
28:50Yeah.
28:55This is the love cave.
28:58The love cave?
28:59Yeah.
29:00Oh, my goodness.
29:01I'm sorry.
29:02I'm sorry.
29:03I'm sorry.
29:04I'm sorry.
29:07I'm sorry.
29:08I'm sorry.
29:12Whoa!
29:18Oh, ow!
29:29Was this a family pet too?
29:32Oh, no.
29:34My great-grandmother Elizabeth was killed by a bear.
29:39And her husband died trying to avenge her death.
29:43Wow.
29:44Yeah.
29:46Would you do that for me?
29:49Of course.
29:50Oh, careful, careful.
29:52Sorry. Sorry.
29:53You're good.
29:55I could, um, get you some eyes for your face,
29:59or I could, you know, just call the butler.
30:02Oh, he's off at ten.
30:07Oh.
30:08I'm just kidding.
30:09Are you sure?
30:10Stupid.
30:11I can get it.
30:11I got it.
30:12Just tell me where it is.
30:13Alright, I'll get the bags from the car.
30:16Kitchen, it's, uh, down the atrium.
30:19To the right of the curb hallway by the front door.
30:22Here?
30:22Yeah, to the right.
30:33What the heck?
30:34I'm going to throw my food all the time.
30:42I'm just kidding.
30:43I was gonna throw my food all the time,
30:43Just not to see you.
30:45Oh.
30:46Just to get it out of here, we're having a lot of time.
30:48Oh, boy.
30:49Oh, we're just getting the best you're going to have a lot of time.
30:49Oh, boy, we're going to have some more money.
30:50Like, let me show you.
30:51He eats the sugar all the time.
30:53No, I don't put the drugs. I put it myself.
30:56You just have to be there.
30:57Well, you should divorce him and marry me
30:59and complete the Cunningham sibling trifecta.
31:01Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!
31:04Sorry. Sorry, I...
31:05I didn't want to interrupt.
31:08I can go.
31:09Oh my god, she exists!
31:12There's no such thing as interrupting!
31:14Come here!
31:15We're family! Oh!
31:17It's your wedding!
31:19Are you excited?
31:21I am excited.
31:23Oh, we were just talking about you
31:25and you appeared out of thin air.
31:26I told you I can summon things.
31:28She's not a thing, Portia.
31:30Come meet your new family!
31:34Nellie?
31:35Julie?
31:36Hi.
31:38It's Jules. Nice to meet you.
31:40I can't believe we're finally meeting you.
31:42It's like you've been avoiding us on purpose.
31:43I was really disappointed when you didn't come to London
31:46or Iceland trip last summer, but you're scared of planes or whatever.
31:49No.
31:50I was just telling my friend Cindy about how you and Nikki met at an airport.
31:53So romantic.
31:57You're really cute.
31:59Isn't she cute?
32:00She's very cute.
32:01Oh, let me see the ring.
32:04So pretty.
32:06Nellie, isn't it pretty?
32:07So where is darling Nikki?
32:09He's just unloading the car.
32:11We just got here.
32:13I actually came in here to get some ice for his face,
32:17because he got punched in the face tonight.
32:22Really?
32:22Why?
32:25It's a long story.
32:26Sorry.
32:31You got time.
32:35Um, we were at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere,
32:39and there was, um, like an abandoned baby in a car.
32:45Nikki stayed with the baby, I went to get help,
32:46and then when I went to this dive bar there was this, like, very creepy guy.
32:51What if it was the sorry man?
32:55Portia.
32:59The what?
33:00Did you know there's something evil living in these woods?
33:03No, we're not doing that.
33:05Come on.
33:06I can tell a fucking story if I want to.
33:08I'm done.
33:08Rachel and Sarah.
33:10Good night, Rachel.
33:12Good night.
33:14Watch out.
33:17I'm gonna go.
33:20Rachel.
33:21Hmm?
33:21It's quick.
33:22It's a bedtime story.
33:27Yeah.
33:28Okay.
33:32Picture this.
33:33It's a regular winter day, a day just like today.
33:35Jules is like eight and decides to run away because he's dramatic.
33:38I'm a baby, so I don't remember it anyway.
33:40It starts getting dark out, and baby Jules is all alone in the woods.
33:45You know what's worse than being all alone in the woods?
33:47When you realize you're actually not all alone.
33:53So Jules hears a woman screaming like,
33:55But worse.
33:57He tries to run away from the sound, but no matter what direction he gets, the screams get louder, and
34:04louder, and louder, and louder, and louder, and louder.
34:09Until he comes face to face with it.
34:13The sorry man.
34:17With his long, sharp, dirty nails, his distended belly, his mouth open in a downturned smile, wailing.
34:29It's awful.
34:30Picture that shit ten fucking feet in front of you, and that's what baby Jules sees.
34:34So Jules hides from the sorry man, holding his breath, watching, watching, watching, watching, as the sorry man cuts a
34:47woman open and turns her inside out.
34:53And the whole time he does it, he cries and says, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's awful.
35:05He's totally deranged, and he comes up from hell, stalking these woods, believing his long lost wife.
35:10He's hidden inside another woman.
35:13Like one day he'll slice a woman open, and there she'll be.
35:18And the two of them can go back to hell in some fucked up romantic kind of...
35:27Oh my god.
35:29What is that?
35:36I got you!
35:38I got you both.
35:40Aw, Judy, what's up?
35:43What are you doing up, Judy?
35:46Spying on the girls?
35:48Sorry, Portia, I couldn't sleep.
35:51Well, this is Rachel.
35:52She's gonna be your new aunt.
35:54Isn't that exciting?
35:56Aw, it's okay.
35:59No, the sorry man's awoken by the scent of blood, so you just have to avoid bleeding.
36:03You're not on your period, right?
36:07Don't worry.
36:08The sorry man doesn't want little boys.
36:10No.
36:12He prefers brides.
36:14So this is what we say to Auntie Rachel, goodnight.
36:16Goodnight.
36:16Goodnight.
36:17Sweet bride.
36:18Sweet bride.
36:20Don't let the sorry man see your insides.
36:31Hey, sir, I had to hear that story to get me to this.
36:34It scared us so much when we were kids that our parents put a ban on it.
36:38So you met Jules and Nellie too?
36:41That's fun.
36:42Are they trying to kill each other with butter knives?
36:45I mean, you don't believe in it.
36:46Right?
36:47No.
36:48I definitely don't believe in the human skin wearing monster from hell.
36:55But something happened to Jules in the woods from your kids.
36:59You just came back different.
37:03You don't know what really happened?
37:07That's the story you came back with.
37:10And then my parents ditched him at some fancy European boarding school.
37:14Pretty messed up, right?
37:15I stabbed a guy at the dive bar.
37:18What?
37:19With the car keys.
37:22He was super fucking creepy.
37:24What do you mean?
37:25He kept staring at me and then he started walking up to me and I thought that he was going
37:28to hurt me,
37:29but he was, I don't know how to describe it, but I was like, he was watching me pee.
37:33Wait, are you okay?
37:33Yeah.
37:34Yeah.
37:34Fine.
37:35It was just, I don't know.
37:40I do feel sort of like I'm having deja vu, but like not the good kind.
37:44Like I feel something so familiar and I don't know how to describe it except just dread.
37:50Like when you just like, you just know something bad is going to happen.
37:52You just know.
37:53And I've been feeling that way more and more and more and more and more since we got here.
37:58And then now that we're here, I just like, I don't know.
38:02I just like, I really, I really feel it now.
38:04Hey, come here.
38:04Come here.
38:04Rachel.
38:05Baby, come here.
38:07It's okay.
38:08I'm sorry.
38:10I'm sorry.
38:11I, I get it.
38:13Hey, I've been feeling it too.
38:15I've been feeling off.
38:16I completely understand.
38:25Nikki.
38:26Hmm?
38:28Did you tell your sister I didn't come to Iceland because of a panic attack?
38:33No.
38:34I, I wouldn't do that.
38:37Then why does she know I'm afraid of flying?
38:41Well, she knows the story of how we met.
38:48I'm sorry.
38:50I love you.
38:52Hmm.
38:54Hmm.
38:55Hmm.
38:56Hmm.
38:56Hmm.
38:57Hmm.
39:01Hmm.
39:03Hmm.
39:03Hmm.
39:04Hmm.
39:04Hmm.
39:04Sorry.
39:05What?
39:13I have to do the thing.
39:16Hmm.
39:17Hmm.
39:20Hmm.
39:21Hmm.
39:24Hmm.
39:29Hmm.
39:43Hmm.
39:46Hmm.
39:49Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
40:41Oh, oh, oh.
40:50Oh, oh.
40:59Oh, oh, oh.
41:03Oh, oh, oh.
41:27Oh, oh, oh.
41:39Oh, oh, oh.
41:42Oh, oh, oh.
41:43Oh, oh, oh.
42:10Oh, oh, oh.
42:25Oh, oh.
42:28Oh, oh.
42:29Oh, oh.
42:34Oh, oh.
42:48I don't know.
43:22I don't know.
43:36I don't know.
43:41I don't know.
44:00Mrs. Cunningham?
44:28Hey.
44:31Hey.
44:36Mrs. Cunningham?
44:38Hey, are you okay?
44:50There she is.
44:57The next Mrs. Cunningham?
45:09Hi.
45:11Victoria, sweetheart.
45:13Let's get you back to bed.
45:16I was just getting the mail.
45:18You don't have to do that, love.
45:19That's my job.
45:23We won't be seeing much of each other anymore.
45:25Oh, no, no.
45:25We will.
45:26No, it's just the beginning.
45:27It's just the beginning.
45:32It's just the end.
45:42It's just the end.
45:55You don't have to be serving.
45:55You don't have to run.
46:29You are my destiny, you are what you are to me, you are my happiness, that's what you are.
46:57You are my destiny, you share my reverie.
47:10You're more than happiness, that's what you are.
47:25You are my destiny.
47:28You are my destiny.
47:30You are my destiny.
47:36You are my destiny.
47:48You are my destiny.
47:51You are my destiny.
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