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00:09you
00:11me
00:15this isn't easy for me as i'm sure you can imagine
00:18of course
00:20you've just lost your husband
00:21that boat sailed a long time ago
00:24mrs book and you're not
00:25the first of victor's conquests to telephone
00:31if it makes it any easier
00:34he didn't
00:35did what
00:37conquer
00:45i used to come here all the time you know
00:49to watch you
00:51with the latest model
00:54madam
01:04you've read it
01:06to see oneself here
01:08assessed like
01:09livestock
01:13you think he got what he deserved
01:16well not quite but uh
01:19i mean what a peak he was
01:23do you know i'd think better of him
01:26if it was a real diary
01:27something with a bit of proper adulterous passion
01:34don't worry my dear i didn't really blame you
01:36i mean victor had charm to spare
01:39in his day
01:41and i grew used to his adventures
01:46numb to them
01:47so used to them
01:49it became a sort of hobby
01:52does that sound strange
01:56my marriage grew cold
01:58well my life grew cold
02:01i don't really think i've felt anything
02:03since dunkirk
02:07so i'd come here
02:10where there was light and laughter
02:13usually
02:16did you not worry that he uh might see you
02:22victor hadn't noticed me in years
02:24there was no reason to think he'd start now
02:29is that how you were able to
02:34what
02:37the poison
02:40i mean you were there
02:41you you handed me that cloth
02:43it would have been easy for you to admit straight
02:46i didn't kill my husband mrs book
02:50i pitied victor
02:51didn't despise him
02:54then who did
03:01how was this war
03:04he did his service in caro
03:06and a stint in the balkans
03:09the balkans
03:12and before that he was here
03:14the home front
03:16whereabouts
03:19ask it
03:36ah it is you
03:37would it be
03:40what does that say
03:43death to parasites
03:53thank you for coming
03:56everything's off
03:57kippers
03:58kidneys
03:58kedgeri
03:59and the radiators
04:01they're definitely off
04:02oh
04:04there's a selection of cold meat
04:06splendid
04:07well two of those then please wait
04:09to make sure they're properly cold
04:11i have whoring consistency
04:12sir
04:13the service it is appalling
04:15well call me marie antoinette
04:17but i was expecting the lavatories to flush
04:19still the heating did come on for half an hour
04:22that was nice
04:22you said it was urgent mr book
04:24in a way yes
04:25are you any closer
04:26closer
04:27to finding out who tried to murder us
04:30no one tried to murder you
04:33but the letters
04:34the threads
04:35you said those
04:40what
04:42you're mad
04:43how dare you
04:44do sit down princess
04:45the very idea that i
04:47i said sit down
04:50i may be more of a diplomat than the inspector
04:52there's only so much of this exhausting auteur i can stand
04:58when did you start
05:00sending the letters
05:01not right away i imagine
05:04for a while it was real
05:09when we fled our country
05:10there were eyes everywhere
05:12we feared to eat
05:13or drink
05:14we lived day by day
05:16shoved into stinking cellars
05:18the holds of filthy ships
05:21but the threat was real mr book
05:25in new york we were fated
05:27they love royalty there as you know precisely
05:29because they have none of their own
05:31we were invited to all the right parties
05:34met all the right people
05:36but there is nothing more tragic than exile
05:39mr book
05:41and nothing more pathetic
05:44after a time
05:45the invitations dried up
05:47the parade moved on
05:49and i realized
05:50that we had gone from being in danger
05:52to something far far worse
05:56we had become irrelevant
06:00what did the new regime and scutari
06:03have to fear from us
06:04why would they send assassins
06:06halfway across the globe
06:08to make a way with us
06:09why would anyone
06:12bother
06:13but there is glamour in death
06:16in danger
06:19and so i began to write all those letters
06:21both to us
06:23and to the authorities
06:24of whichever poor nation
06:25we were imposing ourselves upon
06:27i pay a woman here a modest fee
06:30to skulk around the hotel
06:31dropping them off now and then
06:32some suspected your other sister
06:35might be behind those
06:37she is dead mr book
06:41i saw her shot in the face
06:45the communists
06:46never really trusted her
06:53then i will not lose
06:54another sister
06:58but then there was an actual poisoning
07:00i didn't know what to think
07:01the figures rub the glasses as always
07:04and then
07:04that man
07:05that captain
07:07lying dead
07:08at her feet
07:09my mind it raced
07:11had it all become real
07:15but what else could i do
07:17but continue as planned
07:19it was very well done
07:22thank you
07:23and last though
07:24the impression of your sister's pen nibs
07:26is very distinctive
07:27indeed
07:29music nib
07:30narrow downstrokes
07:32broad crossstrokes
07:33for writing musical notation
07:34and she's composing those
07:37rather sad and lovely little tunes of hers
07:39and the references to your wardrobe too
07:42rather specific for a desperate communist assassin
07:45i couldn't help myself
07:48so does this mean then that
07:51captain or was the intended victim
07:57so i have to ask mr book
07:58in the spirit of your british stories
08:02who done it
08:04well that is the question
08:06dear lady
08:14sir
08:36not normally a fan of this sort of thing
08:38relevant to the kind of thriller one finds in w.h. smith
08:42however
08:43sometimes it really is best
08:45to gather everyone together
08:46unity of place
08:48and all that
08:49so
08:49on the night of the murder
08:51mr gazeli here set up a first round of two drinks
08:54yes
08:55which is rejected by the princesses
08:57and goes down the sink
08:58now we come to the brouhaha
09:01and a new character enters our drama
09:03captain victor awe
09:05kindly represented here
09:06by mr kind
09:08in you come
09:09miss rattle
09:39tell us what happened next
09:40and tell them where to get off
09:41and then he says something
09:44i know some threat or other
09:45i wasn't listening
09:46and that's when jack here came to my rescue
09:50and then i went outside for a smoke
09:52thank you miss rattle
09:53so mr gazeli then sets up two more glasses for a new round
09:59four walsingham sours
10:03in total
10:10three good ones and one as we shall see about to have an extra ingredient
10:14but when precisely
10:15did one of these drinks get a dash of hydrochloric acid
10:19princess nefille
10:20you told us that you switched two of these glasses around
10:23which two
10:25like this mr book
10:26one of ours
10:27four one of theirs
10:29very good
10:31but you're not drinking yet are you
10:32because you want to see someone else drink first
10:35which is only prudent
10:36only sensible
10:36when there are so many assassins about
10:39so you have to wait a little while longer
10:41until the distraction is over
10:44and this is the russian roulette moment now is it
10:47this was not a casual murder
10:49it was very carefully thought through
10:52now we know the poison was not in mr gazeli's shaker
10:55we know that princess nefille deserves no reproaches
10:58all your royal highness did was switch
11:00one perfectly safe and effective walsingham sours for another
11:04in fact i would suggest that none of these drinks
11:06would have produced anything worse than a hangover
11:08until the incident with the coins
11:11that was the moment of opportunity for someone here
11:13to poison one of these cocktails
11:15the one that he was clearly about to pick up
11:18yes there was no mistake
11:19captain or had to die
11:22why though
11:27do you remember
11:28the aaron doris star
11:31not our finest hour
11:33i feel
11:33she was torpedoed by the jerrys
11:35started the war
11:36july 2nd 1940
11:38there was a set two on board wasn't there
11:40a lot of internees being sent to australia
11:42canada
11:43canada
11:44fighting amongst themselves
11:45well that's what it said in the daily express
11:47in parliament too missed the book
11:49does it mean it's true
11:50indeed
11:53and
11:54amongst the passengers
11:59your sister maria
12:09barberini m
12:1112th january 1940
12:13ascot racecourse
12:1516th of january
12:17ascot racecourse
12:1919
12:19so it was her captain or met at the races
12:23well there was no racing during the war
12:25quite
12:25of course ascots where they put the regulation 18b lot wasn't it
12:30english nazis
12:31german
12:32anti-nazis
12:33ice cream men
12:34spaghetti house vendors
12:36waiters who'd once said something
12:39vaguely complimentary about the cut of il duche's jib
12:42all put under barbed wire
12:44all put under barbed wire
12:45an internment camp
12:45what was the case against the barberini's though
12:48my parents were born in italy
12:51so someone here claimed i was a fascist
12:54marched me out during service
12:55sent up north
12:58nobody protested
13:00particularly the man who ran the bar here in the blitz
13:03and your sister
13:08in 1938 my father said why not spend the summer with your italian aunt
13:12go to the beach with him
13:14to the campo solare
13:16build fires
13:18get some fresh air
13:21they give you a nice little uniform
13:23like the girl guides but
13:25or sellini's girl guides
13:27ah
13:28so she brought the uniform home as a souvenir
13:33it was enough for the men from 18b
13:36there it was in a wardrobe so
13:39off she went to escort
13:41she was interned because of the uniform
13:44people do take them terribly seriously
13:46well it worked for victor
13:48when he was in his sailor suit
13:50people did what he said
13:52i mean it was charm as well as rank
13:55rank charm
13:55that's how he got maria's name on the list for canada
13:59perhaps we should be generous
14:01imagine he was getting her out of the camp to a new life away from the war
14:05no no
14:06he just wanted the troublesome lover out the way before his wife found her
14:11that ship
14:12was a death trap
14:15a dream about that
14:18those people
14:19pushing at the barricade
14:22the great wooden exes wrapped in barbed wire
14:26and then the sea coming in and drowning them both
14:29both
14:31maria and the baby
14:35his baby
14:38i knew his name that was all
14:40but i couldn't find him
14:42mess of the war
14:43turned everything upside down
14:46no one was in a great hurry to help out an insignificant wop waiter
14:51turned out i've been serving in walsing themselves for months
14:53victor or my old friend i can't leave you alone for five minutes can i
14:59well the bloody girl can't take a joke
15:02let's have a couple of those what do you call them
15:04forcing themselves
15:06forcing themselves for the two ladies
15:09for their royal highnesses you mean
15:12these are on me ladies
15:13the man who took away my precious maria
15:17my beloved sister
15:22so i did what had to be done
15:24i prepared ice
15:25special ice
15:28special eyes
15:28oh dear
15:31so embarrassing
15:33i do apologize
15:34not at all
15:35look after the pennies
15:37pounds will look after themselves
16:02it was her birthday
16:04see
16:05maria's birthday
16:06would have been
16:09it seemed
16:10it seemed fitting
16:12yes
16:13yes
16:14master of time
16:18and i took the precaution of keeping some of the poisoned ice
16:23tinky tonk
16:24wait
16:25no
16:27just ordinary ice at last
16:30i'm afraid i swapped it
16:34i'm so very very sorry about your sister
16:36signor barberini
16:40but murder is murder
16:44marco barberini
16:45i'm arresting you on a charge of murder
16:47you do not have to say anything but anything you do say may be taken down
16:51and used against you in a court of law
16:54do you have anything to say
17:03oh
17:04by the way mr kind
17:06the linseed oil in the generators
17:09that was me too
17:11sorry
17:37mr kind
17:40you wanted a word
17:42ah yes miss rattle
17:43i was thinking about your position here
17:46well now i know that you were not responsible for the incident with the generators
17:49yes
17:50well your dismissal was unnecessarily expeditious
17:54yes
17:55yes
17:56and i wanted to say i would very much like to offer that position back to you
18:01well
18:01well i accept
18:03well that's all very satisfactory
18:05there's a ledger here isn't there
18:07a ledger
18:07one with all the comings and goings of the staff
18:11might i see my entry
18:13it's over there
18:15yes of course
18:19thank you
18:25there i am
18:28edith rattle
18:28reason for leaving
18:30sabotage
18:31well let us strike that
18:33from the record
18:38thank you mr kind
18:39now mr kind
18:41i resign
18:44you resign
18:45yes i resign
18:46would you mind putting that in there for me
18:48you can't resign
18:50i believe i just did
18:54oh the workers
18:58oh the workers
19:10oh this is quite correct
19:12two more please
19:14for those people
19:20missing the war are you
19:22well i don't know what the etiquette is
19:25oh i think that's the royal summons
19:29well heres
19:31for you mr book
19:33for the book
19:34oh thank you
19:40what's that for
19:41a hundred guineas
19:43no i mean what's it for
19:44oh our copy of the canoon of scutari
19:47in our trade
19:48it pays to specialize
19:49it'll bounce
19:51well if it doesn't
19:52i shall give it to the arandora star memorial fund
19:57please and check
19:58thank you
19:58what should we drink to
20:00to us
20:02to the barberinis
20:04yes
20:05to marco and maria and
20:07all the barberinis
20:08the lost and the defeated
20:12all the barberinis
20:14those who bear the name
20:16and those who do not
20:18and let there be no more drownings
20:35he got me the job
20:38mr book
20:41he arranged for you to take me on
20:44the princesses were looking for a bodyguard
20:46gabriel asked if i could help
20:48so you see he was looking out for you
20:51despite your falling out
20:53you know him well
20:55we go a long way back
21:00looking out for me
21:04or manipulating me
21:05why would you think of it like that
21:07he sought me out
21:09found me when i come out of prison
21:12set me up
21:13nice job
21:14nice home
21:15nice home
21:15yes
21:15why
21:17you'd have to ask him that
21:19i'm a monster
21:21mr kinder
21:22i'm grateful
21:22of course i am
21:23it's just
21:25it's a lot
21:26you know
21:28they're set up
21:30the way they are
21:31mr and mrs book
21:31the way he is
21:33it's hard for me to just
21:36accept it
21:37you have a moral objection
21:39me
21:41what right do i have to moralise
21:42i think you've answered your own question
21:44book is kind
21:47i mean i know
21:48i'm kind
21:49edmund kind
21:51but i once knew a girl called joy
21:53and she was anything but
21:55there's no sinister motive jack
21:58they want to help
22:00why don't you let them
22:31with you in just one moment
22:35hello again
22:37oh mrs goodwin
22:39jean
22:40jean
22:40after more of the same
22:42the pimpernel
22:43i'm not really sure
22:45i think i fancy something a little
22:46different
22:47your husband not with you
22:49no
22:50the golf course
22:51no
22:51the garrick
22:52the divorce courts
22:54oh
22:55oh
22:58that play you gave me
23:00a doll's house
23:01most illuminating
23:02and like you suggested it
23:04rather made me think
23:05yes i thought it might do
23:06made me realise how narrow
23:08my horizons have become
23:10or other
23:11how narrow
23:12gerald have made my horizons
23:14love doesn't always last forever
23:16alas
23:16never loved him
23:19awful man
23:21but that's all in the past now
23:23or in the hands of my solicitor anyway
23:26so
23:26what can i do for you then jean
23:29what have you got on travel
23:31travel
23:32lots of it
23:33heaps of it
23:34exotic
23:35travel
23:36i think it's time i saw a bit of the world
23:39i've got just the thing
23:47with you in just one moment sir
24:00thanks
24:01i know you run on it
24:07without tea i have merely
24:09unreconstituted dust
24:17it's hard to let go of the past
24:18mr book
24:19when you have so many questions about it
24:22such as
24:23well
24:25if it wasn't for you and trotty
24:26i'd be
24:28well
24:30i'd be sleeping on the embankment
24:34but now i have a position
24:38if it's still available
24:40the royal highnesses will let you go
24:42i'll quit
24:43good for you
24:45yes the job's still yours
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