B.M. 1. The National Anthem.

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 4th December 2011.  Prime Minister Michael Callow faces a shocking dilemma when Princess Susannah, a much-loved member of the Royal Family, is kidnapped.  Rory Kinnear - Michael Callow Lindsay Duncan - Alex Cairns Donald Sumpter - Julian Hereford Tom Goodman-Hill - Tom Bilce Anna Wilson-Jones - Jane Callow Patrick Kennedy -Section Chief Walker Alastair Mackenzie - Martin Chetna Pandya - Malaika Alex Macqueen - Special Agent Callett (as Alex MacQueen) Jay Simpson - Rod Senseless Helen Fospero - Lucinda Towne Lydia Wilson - Princess Susannah Sophie Kennedy Clark - Lauren Andrew Knott - Brian Allen Leech - Pike Johann Myers - Noel Sophie Wu - Jamie Rakie Ayola - Shelly Amit Shah - Jack Nick Hendrix - Andrew Justin Edwards - Jon Jeany Spark - Camilla Aymen Hamdouchi - Kieran Julian Rivett - Damon Brown Jonathan Forbes - Browne Madeleine Bowyer  - Sonia (as Madeliene Bowyer) Jeffry Wickham - Sir Harold Mount Shazad Latif - Mehdi Raboud Eleanor Wyld  - Young Actress Wolf Wasserman - Spark McKell David - Son (as Mickell David) Dominic Le Moignan - Prince Chris Martin Hill - Police officer 840 Allin Kempthorne - Traumatised Man Matthew David McCarthy - News Room Staff Joshua Wichard - Hospital Patient

Transcript

00:11This is your best job for you.

00:11You are amazing.

00:16I have a house to serve as a farmer.

00:18You look very quick.

00:19I already knew how many farms we could.

00:20I would say I have my own house.

00:20But I don't know if you could.

00:20You're a secret to the navigation area.

00:25For example, the house needs to be built

00:29It's for a few hours.

00:29Hello.

00:34Just tell me what's happened.

00:37And what is it?

00:44I'll be right back.

00:47What's happened?

00:50Oh, Susanna.

00:52Susanna?

00:55Princess Susanna.

00:57Is she all right?

01:00I don't know.

01:25Don't kill me.

01:29Please don't kill me.

01:31Read the statement.

01:36Yes.

01:37All right.

01:40On this screen.

01:42That is correct.

01:47I am Susanna.

01:50Duchess of Beaumont.

01:53Popularly known as Princess Susanna.

01:59I am in a place you cannot find, held by one you will not trace.

02:13Prime Minister Michael Callum.

02:17Prime Minister Michael Callum.

02:19My life.

02:24My life.

02:25My life.

02:26Depends on you.

02:29If you do not do precisely as instructed, by 4pm this afternoon I will be...

02:43I will be executed.

02:47Please.

02:50What are you doing?

02:51Keep it going.

02:52Prime Minister.

02:54At this point, I think it is important to say that we are 100% certain that this is indeed

03:01Princess Susanna.

03:03Her car was intercepted shortly after midnight, returning from the wedding of a college friend of hers.

03:09She had insisted on going.

03:11You had security on her.

03:13Two PPOs.

03:14Still unconscious.

03:15Heavy sedative.

03:16Close range.

03:17Each with a single puncture wound.

03:19No sign of struggle.

03:21What do they want?

03:23Money.

03:26Release a jihadi?

03:28Scrap third world debt?

03:33Save the fucking libraries.

03:34We are convinced both the video and the demand it contains are genuine.

03:39What demand?

03:40What Susanna says next.

03:45It concerns you directly, sir.

03:49Just play it.

03:54There is only one demand.

03:56And it is a simple one.

03:59At 4pm this afternoon,

04:01Prime Minister Michael Callow must appear on live British television,

04:06on all networks, terrestrial and satellite,

04:09and...

04:11No.

04:16On all British networks, terrestrial and satellite,

04:20and have thought on simply sexual intercourse with a pig.

04:29I don't understand.

04:32The video ends with a series of technical specifications for the broadcast.

04:51Why are you doing this?

04:57This is a joke, right?

04:59Ha, ha, Mike. Ho, ho.

05:01It's real.

05:07She said pig.

05:09Sex with a pig.

05:13They want me to have sex with a pig.

05:17Live.

05:18On television.

05:20This afternoon.

05:26But what...

05:27Who...

05:28We're checking with our embedded operatives,

05:31compiling a list of suspects as we speak.

05:33Meanwhile, the demand has been made,

05:35and there's not long to formulate our response.

05:39Well, I'm not fucking a pig.

05:42Page one, that's not happening.

05:45Of course.

05:55Absolutely, sir.

05:58Well, have we established a dialogue with this person?

06:00We can't.

06:01There's no e-mail address, no code word.

06:04No channel for negotiation.

06:07Okay, so we'll focus on finding Susanna.

06:09Hmm?

06:09We get her back.

06:10And however it's done, I don't care.

06:12We stop this now.

06:13I assure you everyone's working towards this.

06:16Yes.

06:16No, not everyone.

06:17A dedicated core team.

06:18This can't go wide.

06:20And keep it so far from the press, it's on the other side of Jupiter.

06:24This only exists in this room.

06:28It's already outside it.

06:31Well, if there are hacks sniffing around, shut them down.

06:34Bright red D-notice.

06:35Super fucking Godzilla injunction with ten-inch white hall fangs.

06:40This video came from YouTube.

06:44What?

06:45It was uploaded via an encrypted IP over an hour ago.

06:48Well, get it off there!

06:49We did, after nine minutes.

06:51But that was long enough for it to be downloaded, duplicated and spread.

06:55Spread?

06:57How many people have seen this?

06:59We take down one, six clones immediately pop up elsewhere.

07:03How many people?

07:0450,000.

07:05That's our current estimate.

07:08The newsrooms have got it.

07:10They're running this on air?

07:12No, no.

07:12We put a Type 5D notice out immediately.

07:14And they're complying.

07:15For now.

07:17It's trending on Twitter.

07:18Oh, for fucking internet.

07:26So what now? What's the playbook?

07:28This is virgin territory, Prime Minister.

07:31There's no playbook.

07:37Princess Susanna's been kidnapped.

07:39You're taking the shit out of me.

07:40And there's a YouTube of it.

07:42I'm going to work.

07:43To rescue this satellite.

07:45And have so unsympathed sexual intercourse with a fake.

07:50No way.

07:51It's a piss take, man.

07:52Look at it.

07:53I don't understand.

07:55Why is it not on the news?

07:56Carlton Bloom's controversial agitation exhibition at the Tate Modern closes three weeks ahead of schedule amid criticism.

08:03So how do we even describe it?

08:05An indecent act?

08:06Everyone's seen the video.

08:07They already know the full details.

08:09If we mentioned bestiality pre-watershed, Ofcom would be seriously pissed off.

08:13Fuck Ofcom.

08:13We're still observing the de-notice.

08:15We're honouring the de-notice.

08:17The voluntary de-notice.

08:19It may be a sportsman-like gesture, but we are making it.

08:22A woman's life is at stake here. We follow procedure.

08:25My timeline consists 100% of viewers asking why we're not covering it.

08:30How do I reply?

08:31You don't.

08:32Yeah, that is totally backwards.

08:33No one else has broken rank. Not the Beeb, not Sky, not...

08:36I hear Facebook's coverage is pretty comprehensive.

08:40Yeah, that may be, but...

08:41It's like 9-11's happening and we're broadcasting sandwich recipes.

08:44We're not a chat room.

08:46It's on CNN.

08:48And Fox.

08:49And MSNBC, Al Jazeera, NHK, and...

08:53Yeah, all right!

08:55Oh, God, this planet!

09:00Okay, Sarah, cover the snatch itself.

09:02Damon, public reaction.

09:03Mira, the royal angle.

09:04Upcoming marriage, etc.

09:06Simon, set tone with standards and practices.

09:08We need to explain this without viewers sticking up their Weetabix.

09:10Lorcan, the internet aspect, new paradigm.

09:13Twitter, Arab Spring, all that bibble, Dan.

09:16All graphics run past me.

09:17Keep it functional, no pepper pigs.

09:20Malaika, update the Princess Obit VT.

09:22The Obit VT?

09:24Mm-hmm.

09:24First, an awkward phone call.

09:26At least I can do as warned Tom.

09:32We put a D notice on it.

09:35Don't.

09:35I can't do anything.

09:36I'm begging you.

09:37You're begging you?

09:38Don't run it, Martin.

09:39Look, I'm sorry.

09:40I can't help you.

09:42You know how much help you're getting from here on in?

09:45Multiplying nothing by shit all.

09:47UKM is dead to us.

09:48Shove it up your arse, you fuck.

09:51Interesting?

09:52A man.

09:53A man?

09:54A man.

09:55Tom.

09:57See you across it.

09:59I'm exploring contingency plans.

10:02I briefed Canet.

10:06Ah, Mr. Canet, Noel from Blue Eye.

10:10Uh, Noel won an Emmy for his effects work on that HBO moon western thing.

10:15See your tranquility.

10:16Yeah, yeah, you won't find better.

10:17Can you map a head-on to a different body at live?

10:20Defends if your camera's moving.

10:21Rule sheet specifies a single handheld camera in a constant roving motion.

10:27Mm.

10:28Yeah, Gonzo style.

10:29He knows his shit.

10:30That's tough.

10:32For a vision to be transmitted in four, what does...

10:35Just focus on the visuals.

10:36Different face mapped onto a live performer.

10:38According to those stipulations.

10:41Fringes of possibility.

10:43Deadline's at four.

10:43We need to know if it's workable by two.

10:50Can't happen.

10:52It has to.

10:53Our embeds have ruled out the major players.

10:55It's not AQ, not IRA.

10:57This is what's left.

10:58Radicals, hate groups, people who threaten yourself or the royals.

11:03They're being pulled in even as we speak.

11:06More than questioning, I hope.

11:08Somebody knows something.

11:14We all do it more, then there'll be less waste overall lying around whenever the bin men...

11:19Is it still not on the telly?

11:20Nothing.

11:21Must be a Hawks.

11:22Or a Blacko.

11:24Oh.

11:25Heads up.

11:25Some major breaking news now here on UKN.

11:29In the last few minutes, it's been confirmed that Susanna, Duchess of Beaumont, has been kidnapped.

11:35A video uploaded anonymously to the internet appears to depict the princess pleading for her life.

11:42The video also contains a bizarre ransom demand of a personal nature involving the Prime Minister.

11:48This is followed by a detailed list of instructions relating to the enactment of this demand.

11:54As police round up potential suspects across the nation, this UKN News View video shows armed officers raiding an address

12:01in Bradford.

12:03A man thought to be connected with a religious pressure group can be seen being dragged to a waiting van.

12:09If it's terrorist, they'll take her head off.

12:12Fuck's sake, man.

12:13What's that?

12:14They'll be asking for a million quid or something.

12:17They want him to do it with a pig?

12:21Telegraph has the whole video and an interactive timeline.

12:25Tonally stark.

12:26Brief mention of the ransom being a sex act.

12:28Nothing too gross.

12:29Sun runs with Taken.

12:31Big grab of Susanna.

12:32Of course I still want that drink.

12:34Oh, then give me something.

12:36Oh, it's not...

12:37That won't be possible.

12:39I'm friendly when I drink.

12:41Very friendly when I'm grateful.

12:43There's no comment at this time.

12:56The Guardian are running a fucking live blog.

12:59And a short think piece on the historical symbolism of the pig.

13:12It's a day like no other.

13:14The kidnap video has now been watched by over 18 million people.

13:17The social networking sites are abut with an estimated 10,000 tweets per minute.

13:22So, while we wait for Downing Street to make a formal response, there's no doubt that the nation is voicing

13:26its opinion.

13:27I don't think anyone should concede to any sort of humiliation under that kind of threat.

13:32I couldn't bear to see that and watch that.

13:34I won't personally be tuning in.

13:36I mean, just thinking about it is horrible.

13:38That's disgusting.

13:38It is disgusting.

13:39Think about it.

13:40It's gonna be disgusting, but after that one, you're gonna be a hero.

13:43People will look at him like he is totally insane and maybe take his position away.

13:48It would be absolutely hilarious to see that on TV.

13:50Nothing too abnormal for Prime Ministers and MPs.

13:53They're all deviants.

13:54Sexual deviants.

13:55All MPs and Prime Ministers.

14:00We've been squeezing hard, but still nothing concrete.

14:03It is my house.

14:06You cannot stop.

14:06You are standing in my doorway.

14:08You are touching my door handle.

14:14Could I have a word?

14:19It won't come to that.

14:21And if they don't find her?

14:23MI5 have got a name.

14:24They're surrounding place now.

14:25Where?

14:26Where?

14:27What?

14:27Where's the place?

14:29Truro.

14:30Why are you lying?

14:30What?

14:31You're lying.

14:32Truro.

14:34Jesus.

14:35I don't want you worrying.

14:37You never patronize me.

14:38Don't start now.

14:39Whoever this is, is insane.

14:41And has a princess.

14:42Who'll get through this?

14:43Not just any princess.

14:45The princess.

14:46Princess bloody Facebook bloody eco-conscious national sweetheart.

14:51I won't have to do anything.

14:54Everyone's laughing at us.

14:55You don't know that.

14:56I know people.

14:58We love humiliation.

15:00We can't not laugh.

15:01Nothing is going to happen.

15:02It's already happening in their heads.

15:05In their heads.

15:06That's what you're doing.

15:08What my husband is doing.

15:11Could you...

15:14Please.

15:16Jane.

15:22I love you.

15:25What?

15:27Alice on the phone, sir.

15:29Get Alex to stall them for a bit.

15:30She's already been speaking to her for ten minutes.

15:33Her?

15:35It's the Queen herself.

15:39Go on.

15:49As the 4pm deadline draws nearer and the world holds its breath waiting to discover whether princess...

15:55Would they use a female pig?

15:57It's on the list.

15:58The list of rules at the end of the video.

16:00Specifies camera angles and things.

16:01It's like Dogma 95.

16:02It's not like Dogma 95.

16:04It's not like Dogma 95.

16:05What's Dogma 95?

16:07Cinematic movement.

16:08Lars von Trier.

16:09Oh.

16:10The list of rules for the director.

16:12No background music, only natural light and so on.

16:14For authenticity.

16:16Same as these rules.

16:17So they can't cheat it.

16:19Intercutting other guy's arse, pumping away.

16:21I mean, I can't think of anything remotely like this.

16:24It's an entirely new form of terrorism.

16:26The point of which...

16:27It's terrorism.

16:28It's not Islamist in nature.

16:29To request a pig is specifically...

16:30That's exactly the point.

16:32To make love to a pig.

16:34Make love?

16:36Steer them away from the grisly details.

16:38We can't discount anything...

16:40Let's not dwell on any of the details.

16:42This is already a huge national talking point.

16:45Isn't this precisely what whoever is behind this is looking for?

16:50How's Her Majesty taking it?

16:52I trust you'll do everything in your power to get her back.

16:55That's what she said.

16:56And we are.

16:58It wasn't a collective you.

16:59It was a singular you, i.e. me.

17:01Sir, we may have something.

17:03Jamie's been tracing the video's origin.

17:05I thought it was untraceable.

17:06Technically, yes.

17:08But, so I thought, work with what we do know.

17:10And that video?

17:10Okay, before YouTube compression it was 57.3 meg.

17:15Algorithm.

17:16Boring.

17:17Anyway, we also know it was uploaded at 3.16am.

17:20So I ran a nationwide trace back on uninterrupted one-way uploads of precisely 57.3 meg in the minutes

17:26leading up to 3.16.

17:28And the closest I can get is a postcode.

17:30But it came from somewhere in there.

17:34Looks like a campus.

17:35Yeah.

17:36Closed 2010.

17:38And it's been empty since.

17:39Latest eyesight image on this area?

17:413am flyover shot from last night.

17:46Looks like it had lights on.

17:49We got him.

17:52We got him.

17:53Alert the local team.

17:54We'll head out now.

17:55Full squad.

17:56I'll manage.

17:56With helmet cam relay.

17:58We can watch the operation.

18:00Press office.

18:01Okay, Tom?

18:09Right.

18:10Confident?

18:12It's a bit of a kick bollocks scramble, but with finesse in it should be okay.

18:15Well, finesse quickly.

18:16Our performer's on his way.

18:24It's a new one for me, obviously.

18:26Because it's elite.

18:27I wouldn't normally, you know.

18:29Have you seen any of my films?

18:31No.

18:31Well, I'm pretty trad.

18:32Bish bash bosh.

18:33In and out.

18:35Yeah, well, what do I put on the invoice?

18:37That's what I'm wondering.

18:38There won't be any invoicing.

18:40Aye aye, Rod.

18:41Aye aye!

18:41Seven aye!

18:44You need to prep two statements for the rescue operation.

18:47Good outcome?

18:48Bad outcome?

18:49Rescue operation?

18:51Goon squad's heading for some postcode in Buckinghamshire.

18:53HP 84TD.

18:55It's a college or something.

18:56They should be there by now.

18:57Good morning.

18:58It was the mayor's turn to be...

19:24Agent Callad.

19:25This is Mr. Flynn.

19:27I.K.A. Rod Svensles.

19:29Stage mate.

19:33Yeah.

19:34Well.

19:35You need to get into this.

19:37Is there a dressing room I can use?

19:39No.

19:40Where's my co-star?

19:42It'd be rude not to give her a bit of a kiss before, eh?

19:44Outside.

19:45In the truck.

19:47Well, it's wild to be, isn't it?

19:52You also need to wear this.

19:55On your head.

20:04Ball's been prized away.

20:06That's where they got him.

20:07Okay.

20:09Target identified.

20:10Commissioner, thank you.

20:11Assault team Red spotted possible entry point.

20:13Any orders, boss?

20:14Continue reconnaissance and await instructions before you proceed.

20:17At the 4 p.m. deadline, only three hours away.

20:20Time is running out for the Prime Minister.

20:22How do you think the kidnapper get close?

20:25Of course, let's never change in.

20:27Simon and Steven are going to get rest.

20:29These figures will be nothing scourged.

20:31They got in here?

20:33Do you think I'd be here if they had?

20:37We've got statements for either outcome.

20:42Listen, coverage is very sympathetic.

20:44I can't think about coverage now.

20:52But it's onside.

20:55Strong undercurrent of sympathy.

20:57Every poll indicates public understanding.

20:59Disgust with the captor.

21:00Outraged at the whole thing, but not at you.

21:06Fact is, if Walker's team fuck up,

21:08I'm not saying they will, but if they do,

21:10the public anticipates noncompliance.

21:15There'll be squalls.

21:17The usuals, but it's not England expect.

21:27If he kills her, there's no blood on your hands.

21:31Bottom line.

21:36With just hours to go before the deadline,

21:39time is running out for the security services.

21:42Well, joining us is actress Lydia Balway,

21:44who attended...

21:44I thought this story was coming from OB7.

21:46It is, but we trimmed the edit, so it's coming direct.

21:50Where do I know Twinkle Tits from?

21:52Uh, actress, Downton Abbey, knows the princess.

21:56This came for you, left the reception.

21:58Thanks, Jack.

21:59Courier dropped it off.

22:0220 seconds on the end.

22:04Thanks.

22:05I'm going to plug this in.

22:15Jack, call the police.

22:16What, me?

22:17Just take it.

22:18Get someone to shoot that first.

22:20What the fuck is this?

22:22I gave you a loss, I said no cheat.

22:35Some more breaking news now,

22:38and a severed finger thought to belong to Princess Susanna

22:42has been delivered to UKN,

22:44along with a video apparently showing the kidnapper

22:47removing it from the princess.

22:50UKN News has passed all material to Scotland Yard.

22:54Fucking hell.

22:56Oh, God, I can't watch this.

22:58He's got to do what they want.

23:00She fucking has.

23:01... accompanied by a memory stick

23:02which contained a statement

23:04accusing Downing Street of attempting to break rules

23:07laid down in the demands.

23:09Well, this grim development comes just hours

23:11before the 4pm deadline out...

23:16Jesus.

23:23Unless I'm mistaken,

23:24our mystery man specified no visual trickery

23:27in his original demand, didn't he?

23:30I considered it necessary...

23:31You considered it necessary...

23:33...to devise...

23:34...to fucking hell!

23:39Mike!

23:42Mike!

23:42Don't.

23:43It's no...

23:44One word and I swear I will...

23:47...fucking...

23:49...fucking...

23:59What did you do, Alex?

24:02I had a backup plan.

24:04A man prepared to do it

24:05and an FX company

24:07that would paint your head onto his shoulders.

24:09And you actually thought that would work?

24:11I believed it worth considering.

24:12Then you're a stupid bitch.

24:14With your interests at heart.

24:16Who knew about this?

24:18A select few.

24:19It seems some idiot at the studios

24:21recognised our designated performer.

24:25Tweeted a photo

24:25and the online hive mind did the maths.

24:28It's not playing well.

24:30With whom?

24:33With...

24:34With anyone.

24:36A few hours ago,

24:37public opinion was behind Prime Minister Callow

24:39with only 28% of the public

24:42believing he should fulfil

24:43the bizarre and illegal request.

24:46But in the wake of these images

24:47and with the delivery

24:48of the princess's severed finger to UKN,

24:51the mood is shifting.

24:52It would be humiliating,

24:54but nothing compared to her suffering.

24:56The appearance of the finger,

24:57he's just got to do it.

24:59He has to do it.

24:59What's the alternative?

25:01We can easily get another Prime Minister,

25:03but we can't live without a princess.

25:04Of course we should do it.

25:05Well, if he doesn't get a release,

25:07you know, he's finished, isn't he?

25:09Online polls suggest that 86% of voters

25:12now believe the demand should be met.

25:15Damon Brown, UK.

25:20One of the Walkers team

25:21hit in the college.

25:22They need time to...

25:23It's almost half two,

25:24and I'm not pissing around.

25:25Julian's advising against...

25:26And I'm advising four.

25:28They go in now.

25:29They go in now.

25:48Where's my obit, VT?

25:49What would you say

25:50if I told you I was standing

25:52near the building

25:52where Susanna's being held?

25:54I'd say bullshit.

25:56Then you'd be wrong.

25:59Have you got a crew with you?

26:00I'm not stupid.

26:03Malaika?

26:05Hello?

26:21Are you getting this?

26:22Yeah, we are.

26:23Stay back.

26:24Don't put yourself in any danger.

26:25No, but...

26:32Still getting this?

26:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are.

26:34Just stay safe, Malaika.

26:35Be careful.

26:52If this doesn't work,

26:55we need to.

27:13Oh, my God!

27:23Oh, my God!

27:24I'm a fire!

27:26I'm a fire!

27:28I'm a fire!

27:29No!

27:29Back your hands!

27:30Back your hands!

27:31Back your hands!

27:31I'm going to work!

27:35Fuck.

27:43It's a decoy.

27:44They must have bounced the upload

27:46from here with a proxy.

27:47They could be anywhere.

27:48I'm sorry.

27:49Jesus.

27:50They're looking right at him.

27:52They can't see her.

27:52There's a screen here.

27:53Malaika, make sure they can't see her.

27:54Take her!

27:55Fuck her!

27:56Whipers, run!

27:57Run!

28:00Run, Malaika, run!

28:02Run, Malaika, run!

28:02Run, police!

28:03Grab your hands!

28:05Run!

28:06Get out of there.

28:07Come on!

28:08Oh, they won't have!

28:08Oh, police!

28:09Bang!

28:10Bang!

28:10There you are!

28:12Bang!

28:13Oh, police!

28:18Oh, police!

28:19Is it him?

28:20They've got him.

28:20Jack!

28:21Jesus!

28:22Where the fuck is Jack?

28:23The bus!

28:24Run!

28:25Run, stop me!

28:26Get out!

28:27Get out!

28:28Get out!

28:29Get out!

28:29Let's go!

28:30Oh, Pete!

28:31Oh, let's go!

28:33U-UKN.

28:34Oh, it's Malika. Something or other. She's from the UK.

28:38Impressed?

28:39Yes!

28:41There goes your RTS award.

28:44There must be something.

28:45There's nothing there, Michael.

28:46There'll be a clue, some evidence.

28:48We've done all we can.

28:49You sent in a strike team to rescue a mannequin.

28:51I'm sorry, Michael.

28:52Oh, fuck off, Julian!

28:53Michael, it's twenty past three. We're out of time.

28:55We're not out of time!

28:57We're not out of time!

29:16It's not gonna happen.

29:17To the public...

29:17Fuck the public!

29:18To the public, this would be one man of, to be blunt, questionable popularity,

29:23putting personal embarrassment over the life of a young girl.

29:25You won't even release her anyway. She's probably already dead!

29:27And if she isn't, he'll kill her and upload the video.

29:31Everyone will see it.

29:32The world will see it.

29:35The mood will border on insurrection.

29:37And you will be destroyed, I guarantee you.

29:40Utterly destroyed.

29:45The polling bears that out.

29:47You won't just be a disgraced politician.

29:51You'll be a despised individual.

29:54The public, the palace, and the party insist on compliance.

30:00Fuck the party!

30:00Refuse.

30:02And I've been advised that we cannot guarantee your physical safety.

30:08Or that of your family.

30:23I've made arrangements for the broadcast.

30:28I'm sorry, Michael. It's out of your hands.

30:38Let's take you live now to the scene in central London.

30:41As we see the Prime Minister's car travelling across London...

30:46He's got a deal...

30:47The world's bloody broken.

30:49...and now appears to be heading west to Bankside Studios.

31:13He's got emphatically turned down at the door.

31:22He's got a conversation...

31:27We've ratified the law.

31:28After midnight, it'll be a criminal offence

31:30to store any recording or still images of the event.

31:38They're doing an announcement beforehand

31:40to ward people off even watching.

31:41Some sort of sonic tone that causes nausea.

31:46Of course, this comes at a time

31:48when public opinion has very much pardoned

31:50following the delivery of the princesses

31:52at the 4pm deadline approaches.

31:56The whole nation is at a standstill

31:58watching this extraordinary situation play out.

32:01And just to remind you,

32:03this is now a story of global significance.

32:06Michael Curlow has displayed incredible bravery

32:09in what was literally a matter of life or death.

32:12That's how it opens,

32:14and then I think we should move on.

32:16OK, yeah.

32:19Everything prepared?

32:21Yes, Mum.

32:22It's sedated.

32:23Injection.

32:24Stay silent.

32:33It's time to go in now.

32:41An unprecedented nature.

32:43This is an official announcement.

32:46In a few minutes,

32:47the Prime Minister will perform

32:49an indecent act on your screen.

32:51This is an accordance with the kidnapper's demand

32:54in the hope that it will ensure

32:56the safe release of Princess Susanna.

32:58Recording or possessing a copy of this broadcast

33:01will become illegal at midnight.

33:02All viewers are advised to turn off their televisions immediately.

33:07The broadcast will commence after the following tone.

33:36and do a final appear to be éclair.

33:39Get in there.

33:44We're complying with all the stipulated rules, so you'll have to keep going.

33:51You'll have to see it through to the end.

33:58We've placed visual aids in your eyeline, which might help if you get into trouble.

34:07The suggestion we're getting from psychologists is that you should take as long as you need.

34:15To rush might be misinterpreted as eagerness or even enjoyment.

34:34It's just a skeleton crew inside.

34:38Close set.

35:30I trust this will bring about the same thing.

35:32We've returned of Princess Susanna.

35:45Right.

35:53I love my wife.

35:58May God forgive me.

36:14Good boy.

36:21I'm up with my wife.

36:22I love you.

36:24I love you.

36:24I love you!

36:26Well done!

36:26I love you!

36:26Oh, my God!

36:30Oh, my God.

36:30So long with us.

38:00Jesus.

38:02Poor bastard.

38:05But it's been on for nearly an hour.

38:08It's history, this.

38:09I don't know.

38:16I don't know.

38:54I don't know.

39:02I don't know.

39:10She's back, ma'am.

39:11We've got her.

39:12Susanna.

39:13They released her.

39:14Stumbling about in the middle of the city, sedated.

39:17She can't remember anything, but she's unharmed.

39:20But her finger?

39:21Not hers.

39:22Her DNA shows it's male.

39:23What?

39:24There is one other thing, ma'am.

39:26There's a CCTV grabber from half three.

39:29It seems he let her go 30 minutes before it happened.

39:34Why?

39:36My guess.

39:38He knew everyone would be elsewhere, watching screens.

39:43So it's a statement.

39:45Ma'am?

39:46That's what this is all about.

39:48That making a point.

39:50Should we lose that page of the report?

39:53No one sees it, especially the PM.

39:56Of course.

40:07Good news, Michael.

40:09You saved her.

40:10Susanna's alive and well.

40:14Susanna's alive and well.

40:15I don't know.

41:04On the one year anniversary of his humiliating ordeal,

41:08an apparently unconcerned Michael Callow

41:11put in an assured performance at a public appearance today

41:14accompanied by his wife Jane.

41:16Here I go.

41:21The other central figure in last year's events

41:24was also before the camera at last night's Children of Valour Awards.

41:28Princess Susanna made her first public appearance

41:31since announcing her pregnancy.

41:33It was one year ago today

41:35that the former Turner Prize winning artist Carlton Bloom

41:38coerced the Prime Minister into committing an indecent act

41:42with the audacious kidnapping.

41:45As the anniversary arrived,

41:47one art critic has caused controversy

41:48by describing it as the first great artwork of the 21st century.

41:53But while cultural commentators debate its significance,

41:56there's no denying that with a global audience of 1.3 billion,

41:59it was an event in which we all participated.

42:02However, the incident failed to destroy a Prime Minister

42:05who currently holds an approval rating

42:07three points higher than this time last year.

42:09Damon Brown, UKN.

42:17Jane.

42:19Jane, please.

42:20Jane.

42:21Jane.

42:22Jane.

42:30Jane.

42:32Jane.

42:34Jane.

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