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Coronation Street (1960) Season 67 Episode 64
Coronation Street
Coronation Street
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FunTranscript
00:23I got my invitation to Carla and Lisa's wedding this morning.
00:26Are you excited?
00:27I was until he opened the card.
00:28With that much glitter, I thought a fairy had farted.
00:31You know what, I think that was a bad sentence.
00:34Anyway, this spring early bird deal voucher expires today,
00:38so I am praying you've got a table for me.
00:40I'm obsessed with money-saving ideas these days.
00:43Hashtag cost of living crisis.
00:45Well, you're in luck. Table for one?
00:47How sad do you think I am? I shall be dining adieu.
00:51Hot date.
00:52Izzy.
00:55She's back!
00:57Oh, yes.
00:58And she means business.
01:03Bring it in.
01:06Oh, I missed you.
01:09I still can't believe it. My head's masked.
01:12Imagine how I feel. I was snogging the face off my own cousin.
01:15Well, let's put that in the Never Happen file, shall we?
01:18Hey, Ben, I'll just be as frazzled as you two.
01:22I've still got to tell my mum. Can you imagine how she's going to react? Or Andy.
01:26Honestly, I could kill him if he weren't already dead.
01:29Harsh.
01:30Well, he's the one that was always banging on about family.
01:34Turns out it's all one big fat lie you wouldn't understand.
01:38Hello? Emma? Anybody?
01:40It was just as big of a shock to you as it was to me.
01:44But once I got used to the idea, it's been nothing but a blessing.
01:48I love having a big sister.
01:49Hmm. Hmm.
01:52I'd love to find out. I had a lovely, handsome brother.
01:57Lovely and handsome, Izzy.
01:59Look, I know you two are just trying to make me feel better, but...
02:03I mean, it's hard when the one person you want to have a meltdown with
02:05is dead and buried.
02:11If it's a meltdown you're after, call Grandma Liz.
02:15Yeah.
02:26Oh, love, you've been on Dr. Google all night.
02:36Myotonic dystrophy. Hmm.
02:39I can barely pronounce something that might kill me.
02:43Oh, here she is. The original good time had by all.
02:49When did you know?
02:50What?
02:51When did you know that Jim, my dear old da, had this condition?
02:56It was something I heard at his wake.
02:59That was the day before Ben's heart's appointment.
03:02Why didn't you say something before?
03:04What did I know about it? I'm not a doctor.
03:07Myotonic dystrophy.
03:08An inherited muscle disorder that causes progressive muscle weakness.
03:14The key word there, being inherited.
03:16Do you not think that that was important information to tell this consultant?
03:20That would mean telling me the truth, babe.
03:22We all know that's not your style, ma.
03:30I know it's been a bit bumpy. It's bound to be.
03:34It's just the excitement of being released.
03:37And you can't take a couple of days off just to re-acclimatise?
03:41This is me re-acclimatising.
03:45I can't be sat sitting in the house, you know, flicking through quiz shows.
03:53No, that's not me.
03:55I just want to get right back on the donkey.
03:58Get me hands dirty again.
03:59Well, the staff can cope, you know.
04:00Maybe.
04:02But I can't.
04:06Do you know other husbands might feel offended if their wives didn't want to spend any quality time with them
04:13after so long apart?
04:15Yeah, but you are not other husbands, are you?
04:21That is why I married you.
04:23Hmm.
04:26I'll pop back later.
04:27There's no need.
04:29Will you stop telling me what to do?
04:30No, I think you will find that is my line.
04:37Don't work too hard.
04:38Won't. Love you.
04:41That's nice.
04:42Look after me.
04:44Anything I can do, boss?
04:46No, no, I am just catching up on me paperwork, you know.
04:50Brody.
04:51Oh, actually, right, right, yes.
04:54Could you do me a big favour?
04:57Now, I promised Lou, when we were in prison, that I would get Easter eggs for Brody and the girls,
05:04because, right, get this.
05:08Sally's idea of Easter treats is letting them draw faces on the boiled eggs.
05:14Oh, wow.
05:15Nice.
05:16How Dickensian, what are they getting for Christmas?
05:18Sat to it with a shiny top in his hair.
05:21Is it?
05:21Yeah, probably.
05:22Knowing Sal.
05:24So, do you mind nipping out and getting them for me?
05:26Yeah.
05:26And then dropping them round there?
05:28Posh chocolate.
05:29Take 50 pounds out at till.
05:31Sure.
05:32No worries.
05:32Emily.
05:50I am so late for work.
05:53Yeah, well, I'm not.
05:54Day off.
05:56What, are you celebrating by eating popcorn for breakfast?
06:00Yep.
06:02It's a movie marathon.
06:04So, go on.
06:06Off you, Pop.
06:08Skedaddle.
06:10Shona's at the hospital.
06:12Lily's at her mates.
06:13So, it's the first time I've had house to myself in months,
06:15and I'm not wasting it.
06:17What, are you watching?
06:20I thought you were late for your shift.
06:22Well, if late, why hurry?
06:24That's what my dad used to say.
06:26Was he an idle beggar and all?
06:29Yeah, he was, actually.
06:31So, come on, what's on the agenda?
06:33Well, first up, it's Avengers Infinity War.
06:37Hotly followed by Avengers Endgame.
06:39Never seen him.
06:41Well, you've never seen two of the biggest films
06:43that have come out in, what, the last ten years?
06:45It's all superheroes and that, isn't it?
06:47Flying about, hitting stuff.
06:48It's not really my thing.
06:49It's not just superheroes.
06:52There's, there's grandeur.
06:54You know?
06:55There's, there's emotion.
06:57And sacrifice.
06:58And all of that always gets ruined by either Shona and Lily
07:01when they're asking stupid questions like,
07:03why has he got that massive hammer?
07:06Sounds great.
07:07Ahem.
07:08Ahem.
07:09Ahem.
07:09Budge up.
07:11That sounds great.
07:13What are you doing?
07:14I'm just practising me poorly voice for Roy.
07:18Look at that.
07:20Oh, wow.
07:21That is a lot of chocolate.
07:23Yeah, well, Debbie said to spend 50 quid.
07:25And I just realised there's a massive discount on it fresh goes
07:28and walked out there like Willy Wonka.
07:29Can we have some now?
07:31No, you can't.
07:33All that sugar I'll be peeling you off the ceiling.
07:35You can have them through the week.
07:37Right, make them last.
07:38Give the diabetes less chance of taking hold, wouldn't it?
07:40Oh, Tim.
07:42Do you have to bring up metabolic diseases
07:44when we're having a family moment?
07:46Oh, yeah.
07:47Debbie said that they're from your mum.
07:48I thought you said Debbie Barton.
07:50Well, your mum was very good friend to Debbie
07:53when she was staying with her.
07:55You can say prison, it's not a swear word.
07:58OK.
07:58Well, thank you, Warden.
07:59How's that?
08:00This lot put the Easter Bunny in a coma?
08:01Yeah, sorry, Brodie.
08:02You're probably a little bit old for chocky eggs now, aren't you, mate?
08:04I never said that.
08:05Easy.
08:06Right.
08:07Right, come on, what do you say?
08:09Ah, don't thank me.
08:10I'm just the delivery boy.
08:12Right, I'd better get back.
08:13Yeah, man.
08:14I'll see you.
08:15Somebody's learning manners.
08:17Slowly but surely.
08:19Right, come on, you lot get dressed.
08:20You can have one of these for your pudding when you have your dinner.
08:22Yeah.
08:22To share.
08:26I was thinking, Tim, have you thought any more about getting in contact with Trisha?
08:33Crikey, that's some segue, isn't it?
08:35From chocolate to teenage sex.
08:37Well, it's just that, well, I was listening to this podcast in the shower.
08:42You don't need a podcast of what's going on over the road, love.
08:44No, but this expert was saying that, you know, you shouldn't be bottling things up.
08:50After 40 years, well, that's some bottling.
08:53Where are you going?
08:54I'm talking to you.
08:55I'm going to set up an Easter egg hunt.
08:56I'm not going to give them this lot without making them work for it.
09:01I just can't bear the idea of her walking about scot-free.
09:05While Billy...
09:05Look, I get you.
09:06Okay, totally.
09:07I mean, what am I supposed to do if I bump into her?
09:10Walking around in her stupid high heels.
09:12You've heard Debbie's home then.
09:15Yeah.
09:15I think it's outrageous.
09:17Look, Summer, I...
09:18Look, I can't imagine how you're feeling.
09:21Okay, but I...
09:22I know what dementia does to people.
09:24You know, I've seen it, I've been on call-outs and...
09:27So don't drive then?
09:28Especially when you've been drinking?
09:29If she was driving.
09:31Is that?
09:32Eh?
09:37I need chewing.
09:38I'm being taken out for a post-dinner after work.
09:41So I'm with breath minty fresh.
09:42Oh, hot date?
09:44Sure.
09:45Oh.
09:47Oh, I love a bit of retail therapy.
09:50Enjoy.
09:52Er, morning.
09:53Afternoon.
09:56Erm...
09:56Look, I hate to push, but I just woke up to offices and tax from Fiona.
09:59Yeah, well, don't worry.
10:01It's all in hand.
10:02But because of the amount, they need to do cheques.
10:04It's a money laundering rule, apparently.
10:08But I need that money...
10:09Don't blame me.
10:10Blame the money launderers.
10:12You taking money off her again?
10:14This is between me and Debbie.
10:16That's what worries me.
10:17Excuse me.
10:18I am standing here, you know.
10:20And what I do with my money is my business.
10:23Now, go and see Ryan and ask him what your duties are for today.
10:27Duties? He sacked me.
10:28Well, he can reinstate you.
10:31I am not giving you £10,000 per nowt.
10:34Eh?
10:35You can work it off.
10:36It'll do you good.
10:38Instead of dotting about upstairs half the day.
10:41Ten grand.
10:42Wait, wait.
10:43What is this?
10:45Yeah, I'm sorry.
10:46I was gonna tell you it later.
10:47So, it seems our Carl here, Mr Action Man, has got himself into debt again.
10:54With your lovely ex.
10:57What's her name?
10:57Phoebe.
10:58So, she wants to be paid back.
11:01Fiona.
11:03Can we talk about this from a more private, please?
11:05Why?
11:07Worried your reputation might just tank, eh?
11:11That ship has sailed, son.
11:13Ten grand, love.
11:14Yeah, please.
11:16It's gonna be fine, yeah?
11:18Like I say, he can work it off.
11:23Er, any idea how long it'll take to go through?
11:25Ooh, let me think now.
11:28No.
11:29Shall I tell you why?
11:30Because I run hotels, not banks.
11:56Can I get you another?
11:58Aye, go on then.
12:00It's not often we see you in here.
12:02Are you checking out the competition?
12:03Mm.
12:04Avoiding the family.
12:05Ah, that works too.
12:08Hey.
12:09Hey.
12:10Erm, I'll get that.
12:12I'll have one as well, please.
12:13Oh, okay.
12:15It's nice to see you two pal up, seeing as you've got so much in common.
12:19What's that supposed to mean?
12:21Well, current landlord of the Rovers and ex-landlord of the Rovers.
12:24Thought that was obvious, eh?
12:27Do you mind if I, er...
12:30Buy me a beer?
12:32Wait, what on?
12:37Can I let you in on a secret?
12:40Tracy's Mary Elmar.
12:42Oh.
12:43Oh.
12:45I was on my way to see you.
12:47At the Rovers, but a bottle did.
12:50Turn left, it's gonna right.
12:53Anyway, I'm glad I've seen you because, erm...
12:56I need to talk to you about a condition my dad had.
13:01Myotonic dystrophy.
13:03It's old news.
13:05How'd you do?
13:06My ma overheard someone talk about it at your dad's funeral.
13:10I've just been to the hospital.
13:12Let my consultant know.
13:14Well, that's good.
13:15Good.
13:15Hmm.
13:17I may have inherited a degenerative disease because your dad fancied getting his leg over 40-odd years ago.
13:23Might pass it on to my own kids.
13:26Well, look on the bright side, I haven't got it.
13:28Well, aren't you the lucky one?
13:30No, I mean, it's not a foregone conclusion.
13:34Forget it, Merton.
13:35Oh, come on. Ben, we're doing the male bonding thingy.
13:38I mean...
13:39We were my mates before, weren't we?
13:42Oh, you lost your playmate.
13:44Not in the mood.
13:45You or him?
13:46Both.
13:47Hint taken.
13:49Aye, aye.
13:52I've just seen Ben storm out.
13:55Did you manage to talk things through?
13:56Well, this is me we're talking about, so, naturally, I managed to make things ten times out.
14:05There's loads of articles of teachers getting off with the pupils.
14:08And not just teachers.
14:10Other adults in positions of power.
14:12Yeah, you're only just finding out about this.
14:15It's just after what happened with Will.
14:17You're obsessed.
14:18I'm not obsessed.
14:20What are you rascals up to?
14:22Nothing.
14:23Nothing to you, anyway.
14:25Teenagers and Ginnels.
14:27It'll be a bottle of cider next and then it's all downhill from there, you know.
14:31Be warned.
14:32God, that's such a pain.
14:36You need to chill.
14:37All that Will stroke Megan stuff may have been primal playground gossip last week.
14:42Since Sonny Craddock let Ben Wadehouse feel her up behind the science lab.
14:46Old news.
14:51I've got to go.
14:53Oh, it's all right.
14:54I'll just stand here on my own like a lemon, shall I?
14:57It's dead dramatic, innit?
15:00Mother reunites with secret son at her upmarket hotel after her spelling the slammer.
15:05Sorry, she's a big fan of the old telly novellas, the Mexican ones, you know, on streamers.
15:09It was a conniving little two-faced grifter.
15:12Enjoy.
15:13Yeah?
15:14Plot twist.
15:15I don't reckon there's much love lost between them two, is there?
15:18Figure it out all by yourself, did you?
15:20All right, sarky knickers.
15:22Ha!
15:28So you working here or what?
15:31Joe the boss says.
15:33Right, well this isn't working, this is drinking.
15:35Yeah, well, I don't slightly shift you either.
15:38Okay.
15:39Well, be sure to rota you on full time then, eh?
15:42I know you prefer to keep busy, don't you?
15:44Oh, you know me, right?
15:45Nothing like an honest day's graft.
15:48Right, well this is nothing like an honest day's graft.
15:50So, why don't you go jump in the shower?
15:53I want you ready for a shift at half five in the kitchen.
15:55Yes, sir, Mr Manager, sir.
15:58I don't like this any more than you do.
16:00No, I'm fine with it.
16:01Okay, right, well, if you're gonna work here then just, just work.
16:06Because it's not hard.
16:07And all these smarmy little comments of yours, they're getting really old really fast.
16:12All right, I'll accept that.
16:15But you need to accept that I'm her son.
16:17Which means she's always gonna put me before you, before this place, even herself.
16:23As long as you're all right with that, we'll get along just fine.
16:30Right, I'll go take that shower and I'll be in the kitchen at 5.30, boss.
16:38They're getting bad out there looking for the last two.
16:40I put them on the shed roof.
16:42The summer house.
16:44You've got chocolate all round your gob.
16:46What?
16:48I thought you were supposed to be outside helping your sisters with the Easter egg hunt.
16:51Yeah, I am.
16:52Just messaging me mates these rumours about Will and his culture everywhere.
16:56You know, I knew something was up after he smacked me, you know, when I hopped on that training session.
17:00Yeah, well, never mind idle gossip. Go on.
17:02Okay.
17:05Anyway, what are you doing on that on a bank holiday weekend?
17:08Look, I know you said to leave it, but I just wanted to find out a bit more about Trisha.
17:14So I've done a bit of research.
17:15Oh, Sally, I'm not going to track her down when she's having tea with her family and bards, you know,
17:21demanding a showdown.
17:23No, you don't have to.
17:25She's been made Freshco's employee of the month.
17:38It's all right.
17:39You all right, David?
17:41Yeah.
17:42We just watched a film that really upset him.
17:45Oh, it happens to me all the time with a wiki. What was it?
17:48The Avengers.
17:50Oh.
17:51Yeah, I don't really get why you got so upset.
17:53I mean, it's not exactly like The Lion King, is it? You know, where the dad dies.
17:57Oh, right. It's a cartoon lion that dies in that.
18:00Half the world's population died in this.
18:03I mean, you need to sort your sense of perspective out, look.
18:06So if Debbie wasn't the one driving, Carl was the only other person in the car?
18:11Hmm. From what I've heard, Abby would blame Carl for Global Woman if she could.
18:14That's what ugly break-ups will do to you.
18:16What's that? I should just ignore what she said.
18:21Look, if you want to go and chat to Ollie, just go through.
18:24No, erm...
18:25No, I mean...
18:26Me and him, it's...
18:27It's not happening.
18:28I thought you liked him.
18:30It's complicated.
18:31That's an understatement.
18:34Oh, babe, you've been referred to a specialist.
18:36You've not been handed a death sentence.
18:38And the consultant said your palpitations were probably down to stress.
18:42All your results came back normal.
18:44Yeah, all except the big one.
18:46If I haven't heard of what Jim has, then how am I supposed to tell the boys they've got to
18:51get tested too?
18:52But if it's negative, they don't even need to get tested.
18:54Look, I know I sound like Little Miss Sunshine, but if this hadn't come out, you wouldn't have even known
18:58about Jim's condition.
19:00At least this way, you can get tested, you can find out.
19:03Yeah, well, you'll forgive me if I don't start a conga lane.
19:06Oh, Ben.
19:09If you had to cheat on my da, I'd you not have done up with someone who didn't have a
19:12genetic condition.
19:19He's just standing there playing with his phone whilst the chef's waiting for veggies.
19:23He never said that to me.
19:24All right.
19:25Well, he wouldn't, would he? Because he's worried for his job.
19:26He should be worried about doing his job.
19:28I said, that's enough.
19:29You're damn right it is, Deb.
19:31I'm sorry, Deb, but that's it. If he's staying, I'm giving him a notice.
19:34Oh, for goodness sake, Ryan. I've just offered him a job, that's all.
19:38And yes, he's a nepo baby, but that's about it.
19:41He's a snake?
19:42You what?
19:43Oh, yeah.
19:44You are not going anywhere, because you did a fantastic job here while I was away, learning to knit.
19:52So, do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to up your wages.
19:56How much?
19:59Well, I don't know yet.
20:00I'll have to do my sums.
20:02Well, you didn't have to do your sums when you transferred ten grand over to him.
20:06Mind you telling me?
20:07Oh, he did, did he?
20:08Yeah.
20:09And did he tell you it's my money and I can do what I want with it?
20:11No, that's fair.
20:12Okay, now, how much more am I going to get, putting up with him?
20:15Oh, my God, you are so dramatic.
20:22Hello, Chariot Square Hotel, manager speaking.
20:25Has that money gone through yet?
20:30Yeah, you can forget that.
20:33Well, I've already told you, keep out of it.
20:35I know, Ronny, you don't approve of it, but once he's paid off this debt, he can start afresh.
20:41I've just been to see Fiona.
20:43His debt was five grand, not ten.
20:49Eh?
20:50He's fleecing you.
20:52Five grand on the debt and another five in his back pocket.
20:56He's playing you be.
21:00Oh.
21:04Oh.
21:08After everything I've done for you.
21:12I was desperate.
21:14Yeah, you're not wrong there.
21:19Do you know what?
21:21We're done.
21:24I mean, camels and straws and all that, et cetera.
21:29No, I just, I...
21:30Shut up!
21:32Shut up.
21:34Please.
21:37I can't do this anymore, Carl.
21:42I can't do it.
22:04kÄ…ter troops.
22:05Check us out.
22:06And you won't come here.
22:13A place to space.
22:14A place to space.
22:19And you're suddenly where?
22:21Or let's see it.
22:21Just break apart.
22:21See you next time.
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