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have you been paying attention s13e12
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00:09Tonight, join Kitty Flanagan, Guy Montgomery, Ursula Carlson, Ed Cavalli and Sam Pang
00:16as we look back on the week and ask, have you been paying attention?
00:22And now, the Chris Master General, Tom Gleisner.
00:28Good evening, great to have your company as we play Chris Show Cash Up on another busy week.
00:33It's been a big seven days of news, so we've called in five of our best to help sort through
00:37the stories.
00:38She's just come off three sold-out nights in Adelaide.
00:41The always amazing Ursula Carlson.
00:45In the running next week for a most popular new talent, Logie, it's Guy Montgomery.
00:53Fresh from two sold-out nights in the Blue Mountains.
00:56Say hello to Kitty Flanagan, the face and unusual walking style of Huey Insurance.
01:03It's Ed Cavalli.
01:06And finally, six days from now, this man takes to the stage as host of the Logie Awards before fleeing
01:13the country.
01:13Our very own is the Sam Pang.
01:18Great to see you again, Ursula.
01:19And judging by this photo, you've been on holiday recently.
01:22That's right.
01:23You can see I make bold choices with my outfits.
01:25I'm fine afraid.
01:27Where are you there, Ish?
01:28This is in Vanuatu.
01:30And, yeah, I've met those two ladies in my arms there, my hands.
01:35Actually, it was like you pay extra for the kids to hold these critters.
01:40And then my kids were too scared.
01:41So, I'm like, I'm not here to waste money.
01:45Give them.
01:45You've got a...
01:46Is it a chameleon?
01:48Is that what it's the other one?
01:49I don't know.
01:50Do they're supposed to be...
01:50I wasn't listening.
01:52I was just paying the money.
01:53Just holding them.
01:54Yeah.
01:54Because I think they're famous for being able to blend into any background.
01:57They're struggling with your shirt.
01:59Yes.
02:00Yeah, I could tell the one was giving up because it asked for a dart from another Australian.
02:05Hey, welcome back, Kitty.
02:07And am I right in saying you're presenting at the Logies?
02:09Yeah, I'm presenting with Edo.
02:11Edo and I are going to take the stage together.
02:13How does that work, Kitty?
02:13Like, does Sam give you a call and say someone's dropped out?
02:16Or...
02:19How does it work?
02:19I think we both know that since he started hosting the Logies, he's become a bit of a showbiz
02:23arsehole.
02:23So, he gets his people to call you.
02:27And they're really only calling you to lay down the law and tell you the rules.
02:30Like, no speaking unless spoken to.
02:32No eye contact with Sam.
02:34He must be called Sir or Sensei, apparently.
02:38And we have to refer to his dressing room as the dojo.
02:42It's all fairly straightforward.
02:43Apparently it's a sacred space.
02:45And, um...
02:46So, whatever, mate.
02:48What do you...
02:49You and Edo, have you thought about what you're going to do?
02:51Do you know what award you're presenting?
02:53Sorry, sir, I'll just put my eyes down.
02:56Yes, I believe we're presenting Best Entertainment Program.
02:59Is your show in that category?
03:02Not with the word entertainment.
03:05Is it still called presenting if you have to go out and save the night?
03:09Yeah.
03:11Just pick it up.
03:12Now, Kitty, you are a seasoned attendee.
03:15And I think, Guy, this is your first Logies?
03:17This will be the first time for Guy Montgomery going to the Logies, yes.
03:20Wow, very exciting.
03:23He's started to refer to himself in the third person.
03:27So, that's always...
03:29I didn't know you.
03:30How long have you been doing that?
03:31Uh, Guy's been panicking.
03:35Guy, um, you've been touring the country.
03:37You posted this amazing shot the other day.
03:39That's the Adelaide Entertainment Centre.
03:42And did you say this was the biggest crowd?
03:44Yeah, that was the biggest crowd I've ever done.
03:46I felt so proud of myself.
03:48And then when you were introducing Ursula,
03:50I heard she did that room three times.
03:54She did it.
03:55But no matter how big you get, Guy,
03:57you still find time to meet with the fans outside gigs.
04:00Look at that.
04:01Oh, yeah.
04:02Quiet, yeah.
04:03Sorry, is that the same shirt you're wearing now?
04:07You're like Homer Simpson every day, the same outfit.
04:12At least I bought mine at a store.
04:13I didn't make my own, like, you know.
04:16Let's play nicely.
04:17We've got a lot of questions to get through.
04:20I just want to point out, too,
04:21Sam Pang's getting upset.
04:24Thank you, Sam.
04:25All right, we better get this quiz started.
04:27Hands on buzzers.
04:28And it was a big day in Canberra.
04:32What are we looking at there?
04:34The opening of Ursula?
04:35Oh, no, I thought it's...
04:37You know when you're in your room for too long
04:38with your boyfriend
04:39and then your mum comes knocking like that?
04:42Is everyone's hands above the blankets?
04:45When was the last time
04:47you were in your bedroom with your boyfriend?
04:50In high school, but let me tell you,
04:51there was no hanky-panky.
04:54All the hands were visible at all.
04:56Absolutely.
04:57All right, now we're looking at the opening of...
04:58Sam.
05:00It's the opening of Parliament, Tom.
05:01Yes, and that's the usher of the black rod,
05:04a phrase best not Googled at work.
05:07To a dramatic moment in the Senate.
05:09What are we looking at there?
05:11Guy.
05:12The One Nation Senators have been distracted once again
05:15by a racist ice cream truck.
05:19You're pretty close, Ursula.
05:21No, this is like the parliamentary version
05:23of not knowing your arse from your elbow.
05:25That's what I'm saying.
05:26I think we're all kidding.
05:27What can you give us...
05:28I think we're all making jokes about it,
05:29but it's dementia, so let's be...
05:31Let's be respectful.
05:33I still don't know whether I've got an answer.
05:35They're One Nation Senators, but what are they doing here?
05:36They were turning their back on the Welcome to Country.
05:39Yes, the Welcome to Country ceremony.
05:41That's the spirit.
05:42To be fair, Pauline was facing Mecca, so it's...
05:46Oh, staying with politics.
05:48A Queensland Senator has been upstaged
05:51by perhaps the cutest of protesters.
05:53What cute protester interrupted
05:56Corinne Mulholland's maiden speech?
05:59Kitty.
06:00Was it Grover from Sesame Street?
06:01I'm not sure what made me think of that.
06:05It was not a Sesame Street character.
06:07Oh, if we're basing answers on what Kitty's wearing,
06:09was it a Smurf?
06:13This wonderful maiden speech, but it was Ursula.
06:17Was it a baby?
06:18Her baby.
06:19Her baby.
06:20Her baby.
06:21As opposed to a baby.
06:23Is it Ursula?
06:24I will pay that.
06:24Her son, Augie.
06:25Take a look.
06:26We are butlers.
06:28People who work hard, speak straight,
06:30and don't ask for more than a fair go.
06:32Tell you what, she'd better not come to my show with that.
06:37Well, as a couple of seasoned stand-ups guy, Kitty,
06:40Ursula, what is your policy on crying babies at your show?
06:43I don't...
06:44As long as the baby pays full price, I don't care.
06:48All right.
06:49This could be our phrase of the week.
06:51American beef.
06:52American beef.
06:53American beef.
06:54Ooh.
06:55Whoa.
06:58Why is everyone talking about American?
07:01Wow.
07:02Kitty.
07:03Is it Trump's username on Tinder?
07:06It's with underscore in the middle, I think.
07:08Guy.
07:08No, I believe it's a gay reboot of American pain.
07:11Wow.
07:13That is Ursula.
07:15I just want to know, we can watch that.
07:18You have a movie night together.
07:19Right.
07:20What's American beef in our news for?
07:22Tariffs-based, isn't it?
07:23They're exempt from?
07:24No.
07:25No, not tariffs.
07:26Kitty.
07:26They're bringing it in.
07:27Yes.
07:28And if you eat it, you end up like Barnaby Joyce.
07:32Well, that's the worry that it might have mad cow.
07:34The government have lifted restrictions.
07:35We still recommend sticking with Aussie beef, of course, at all times.
07:42Safe.
07:43Right.
07:44Donald Trump made a staggering accusation this week.
07:47Look, he's guilty.
07:48It's not a question, you know, I like to say, let's give it time.
07:53It's there.
07:54He's guilty.
07:55They, this was treason.
07:57Wow.
07:58Who's he talking about?
08:00Guy?
08:00I don't know, but I do like how he says, let's give it time.
08:05Till the end of the sentence.
08:06Sam, he's got to let this go.
08:08Is it Dr. Chris Brown leaving 10 to go to 7?
08:12A little closer to Washington.
08:14He's, he's not letting go.
08:16And, uh, Guy.
08:17I do know.
08:18And it's Barack Obama?
08:20Yes.
08:20Who he's accused of being, what's the word?
08:22Sedacious.
08:23Not a word, but thanks for playing.
08:25Guy, points are yours.
08:27To Peru.
08:35What did we just watch take place?
08:38Ed?
08:39The opening of Peruvian Parliament.
08:42That's how they should do it.
08:43A lot more fun.
08:44Uh, Guy.
08:45No, it's a live action imagining of the Bumblebee Man from The Simpsons, which skirts copyright
08:50law, only just.
08:52I'd love to pay that guy.
08:54Well, it is kind of a fictional character.
08:56It's a drug bust.
08:57It's a, yeah, this comedy character that goes on drug bust.
08:59The chief, uh, buster is disguised as Mexican superhero Chipolin Colorado, aka the red grasshopper.
09:07Yeah, yeah.
09:08That'll be so confusing if you're so high and then that guy comes in.
09:13And that guy comes in.
09:15You won't know what's wrong.
09:16Ed, I'll pay that a drug bust.
09:18To royal news, and the palace has marked Prince George's 12th birthday by releasing what?
09:23Guy.
09:24Prince Andrew.
09:26Run, my boy, run!
09:30I think, uh, I think Andrew might still be at home.
09:32Kitty.
09:33Uh, an album of John Denver covers.
09:38I'd love to pay that.
09:39Sadly, no.
09:40I think it's a drone strike on Megan.
09:42Is it?
09:44I'm related to, uh, to Prince George.
09:46Anyone know what they, uh, released?
09:48This week?
09:48To mark the, uh, the happy occasion, Sam?
09:51They released, uh, a photo.
09:54Hmm?
09:54But more importantly, a rare video.
09:58Really?
09:59Sam is a staunch monarchist.
10:01A photo of a video.
10:02Staunch monarchist.
10:03A video of the siblings.
10:04We don't often get to see them, uh, in the wine.
10:06What are their names, Sam?
10:07What are they called?
10:08Well, there's, uh, Groucho.
10:12We've got to take a break.
10:14Back with more.
10:14Have you been taking this right after this?
10:30Canberra has kicked back into gear.
10:32We're here to work hard.
10:33Work hard.
10:34Work hard.
10:35First on the agenda for the government.
10:37Romantic melodrama.
10:38Well, these three blokes are...
10:39We're all unready to go.
10:40Comfortable moan skin.
10:41That cute guy in Parliament.
10:42He's not looking to swipe right.
10:44Turn right.
10:45Oh, goodness.
10:45Could this be...
10:46Happily ever after.
10:47Who gives a crap?
10:51We're back to watching Have You Been Paying Attention.
10:54Just before we return to questions,
10:56Ed Cavillie.
10:58What on earth is going on here?
11:01Yeah, right.
11:03I have the words Australia Post online retailer awards.
11:15I think the audience's response has told you we should move on, Tom.
11:18And who are you with there?
11:20That is, uh, the wonderful performer Vintage.
11:24And it was a yes guy.
11:25Who books that?
11:28I think it's pretty clear, guy.
11:30I book it myself.
11:32And, uh, yes, yes, Samuel?
11:34Well, I'm just sure everyone's curious.
11:36Where, like, where was it held?
11:37Uh, it was held at a venue, uh, in Sydney at the ICC.
11:42And this is true.
11:43As I walked in to host, uh, the online retailer awards with Vintage,
11:48I looked up and there was a poster for Ursula doing stand-up in the same venue.
11:54With the phrase, sold out, underneath.
11:56And I thought, I'm doing okay.
11:59Her sold out means something different than yours, though.
12:05All right, we should probably move on.
12:06Tom, before we do move on, you know, you always bring up photos of everybody else.
12:11Well, I was at a friend's house recently, and she had an interesting few photos of you
12:16that I would like to show now, if you can explain these from a calendar.
12:28As you would say, Tom, what's going on there?
12:34Help us out.
12:39You've got quite a range.
12:42Beef week, maybe?
12:44That's a character.
12:46That's a character I played on the ABC.
12:48Called Ivan Malat.
12:51What the hell is this guy?
12:54Guy and Ursula, you probably missed this series.
12:57It was called Funky Squad.
12:58It was about some 70s cops, you know, who were hip to the street.
13:02And I played a character called Poncho.
13:05The nipples are following me around the road.
13:07Can we get rid of Poncho?
13:09We need to get on with some more questions.
13:12To some excited Coke drinkers.
13:14Oh, my gosh.
13:17This is 10,000 times better.
13:20It's way more fresh, and it has more flavour.
13:23What are they talking about?
13:25Kitty.
13:25Pepsi?
13:28Probably not the message they were trying to give.
13:30Is this something about the Coke?
13:32Is this the Coke that they've changed as sugar to basically make it Mexican Coke, and now they're all excited
13:37about it?
13:38Indeed, cane sugar, Ursula, rather than corn syrup.
13:40Didn't Trump only mention that, like, last week?
13:43And it happened.
13:43And like, so like you always tell me, he gets stuff done, doesn't he?
13:50Ursula, points are yours.
13:51Or another week, another Gen Z trend.
13:53Have you heard of bathroom camping?
13:55Bathroom camping.
13:56Bathroom camping.
13:57Bathroom camping.
13:58What is bathroom camping?
14:01Oh, God.
14:02It's something my dad came up with, and it just means taking a long shift.
14:09Not related to your father, Ursula.
14:11Yeah, just not enough fibre in your diet.
14:16Loki's after-party?
14:17Yes.
14:18I've been so referred.
14:21They're doing it at work, aren't they?
14:23They get out of working, they just go and sit in the bathroom?
14:24If you want to de-stress, either at work or in a social situation, you just go and sit in
14:29the toilet for a while.
14:30All right, I'm off.
14:34You know you can't leave because you're not wearing pants.
14:39Moving on.
14:40Remarkable scenes outside the Melbourne magistrate.
14:43I'm just saying outside of Melbourne court.
14:46Go with me, Ursula.
14:47Yes, Guy?
14:48It's magistrate.
14:49Thank you, Guy.
14:55For ten points, can you spell it?
14:58M-A-G-I-S-T-R-A-T-E.
15:01That's ten points.
15:01Correct!
15:05Guy, I'll need your help again.
15:07Remarkable scenes outside the Melbourne...
15:08Magistrate.
15:09...court on Thursday.
15:16What is that gentleman's alleged offence?
15:20Guy.
15:21The drugs wearing off.
15:24The criminal.
15:25What's he in court for, Sam?
15:26I don't know, but is he the sidekick of the guy in Peru?
15:30There's a superhero link there.
15:31Yeah, no, this is very much an Australian.
15:34Ursula.
15:34No, I think it's graffiti or something.
15:38208 charges, Ursula.
15:39Oh, is that the guy?
15:39His Pam...
15:40Well, he's allegedly Pam the bird.
15:42Oh, that's cute.
15:43Leave him alone!
15:45Let him go.
15:46Let him go.
15:47OK, it's time to take a stroll down the red carpet.
15:55Tonight's showbiz segment is once again brought to you by the Mitsubishi Triton.
15:58It's Mitsubishi's most capable ute ever.
16:01But nothing can frighten a Triton.
16:03It was South Park's season premiere on Friday.
16:06Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it.
16:12Stop it there and ask, who does Trump get into bed with?
16:16Guy.
16:17It's Satan.
16:18It's so good.
16:19It's they're doing the thing they did in their movie from 99.
16:22They did that to Saddam Hussein.
16:24And then they've done it again with this guy.
16:25It's so crack up.
16:26The word I heard was...
16:28The word I heard was Satan.
16:30Take a look.
16:31Hey, Satan.
16:33I don't want him right now.
16:39That's his micropenis, apparently.
16:42Can we get in closer?
16:43No, you can't get any closer than that.
16:44All right, that's...
16:46These people popped up on our screens last night.
16:49They're the cast of which show?
16:51Kitty?
16:53I'm going to say Master Race 2025.
16:56Yes.
16:57Not a lot of diversity there.
16:59Not quite.
16:59Sam?
17:00I think Kitty's close.
17:01It's a new show.
17:01It's called Farmer Wants a White.
17:03Yes.
17:05It's a little lacking in diversity.
17:08Go on.
17:08It's clearly a building show.
17:09I believe it's the reboot of Nazi Megastructures.
17:13One of our favourites.
17:16It's a building show.
17:17The points are...
17:18It'll be the block.
17:19Yes.
17:19Terrific couples.
17:20Lock 25.
17:21I think kicked off last night.
17:23While this is exciting, Dr Chris Brown has been announced as the host of which new Channel
17:277 show?
17:28Kitty?
17:29Master Race 2025.
17:33Anyone know the show?
17:34Sam?
17:35Is it Pet Sematary?
17:37It's...
17:39It's not...
17:39Again, it's a home building kind of...
17:42It's not the block, obviously.
17:44It.
17:45It's called Renault Rescue, where they try and rebuild his career.
17:49Renault's...
17:51My Renault Rules.
17:52It's a rip...
17:52Yeah, it's like my kitchen...
17:53My Renault Rules.
17:55I'll pay that my Renault Rules.
17:57Oh, I believe we have some special video quiz masters standing by.
18:01Hi, Tom.
18:01Hi, everyone.
18:03Dave Franco here.
18:03Alison Brie.
18:04Okay.
18:06What body parts of ours feature on the poster for our new horror movie, Together?
18:12What body parts of Dave and Alison feature on the poster?
18:16Ursula.
18:16Is it nipples?
18:17Yes.
18:18I don't know why I keep thinking about nipples.
18:21It is not nipples.
18:22Sam?
18:23Perineum.
18:23Oh.
18:25Yeah.
18:25That's fun.
18:27That is fun.
18:28Feel it.
18:28Feel it.
18:29Feel it.
18:29That is a good...
18:31That is a good...
18:32No, it's the perineum of the face.
18:34The lips.
18:35Ooh.
18:36What?
18:38The lips.
18:39The lips.
18:40Guy says the lips.
18:42Is that correct?
18:43It's our lips.
18:44A little sticky kiss going on.
18:47Oh, yeah.
18:48Oh.
18:49Guy, points are yours.
18:50Of course, this has fans excited.
18:52What are we looking at?
18:53Yeah, Ursula.
18:54Intense inbreeding?
18:56It's, uh...
18:58Otherwise known as Kitty.
18:59No, this is exciting.
19:00That's...
19:01I think it's...
19:02Anna, Bjorn and Benny.
19:05But Freda's not joining for the agarooning.
19:08But just the three of them going out.
19:09Freda took the photo, I think.
19:10Guy.
19:11No, this is the Spinal Tap sequel.
19:13Yes.
19:13Why not...
19:14They look like they should be in your calendar.
19:17Guy, I'll give you the points.
19:19We've got to take a break.
19:20Back with our special guest, Quizmaster.
19:34We're back.
19:34We're back.
19:35We have you been paying attention.
19:36And it's time to meet our special guest, Quizmaster.
19:39She's conquered the stage, screen and even the jungle.
19:42We'll give it up for the always amazing Casey Donovan.
19:47Hey, Casey.
19:48Hey, Casey.
19:50Welcome back.
19:52You've been on before and I totally forgot.
19:53I'm so sorry.
19:54That's all right.
19:54Totally fine.
19:55It happens.
19:55You are friend of the show.
19:57I am.
19:58And Channel 10 royalty,
19:59because your TV career kind of began here, didn't it?
20:01It really did.
20:0221 years ago.
20:0321 years ago.
20:04And it was, of course, Australian Idol.
20:06It was.
20:06What are your memories of those first appearance?
20:09Not a lot.
20:10I think PTSD has kind of...
20:12It's kicked in.
20:13For those who may not remember,
20:14we found this old YouTube clip of your audition.
20:18Oh, bless.
20:22Well, you fascinate me.
20:27All the boys say that.
20:28Absolutely.
20:29Dicko.
20:30And it was Mark Holden and Deloitte.
20:32And Marsha.
20:32Wow.
20:33Who you've teamed up with shortly.
20:34And then fast forward a couple of months and you were crowned the youngest ever winner of the series.
20:39The winner of Australian Idol.
20:42Wow.
20:432004.
20:44Wow.
20:45Is Casey Donovan.
20:50Lesser.
20:51Lesser indeed.
20:53Yes, Scott.
20:53Sorry.
20:54Was that young man standing next to you there in case you wanted to try and sell you a car?
21:00Well, they did win a car.
21:02So that was nice.
21:03But no.
21:04Anthony Collier.
21:05Oh, yes.
21:05Well, how come Idol has turned out so many genuine stars and I don't think The Voice has turned out
21:12one?
21:13I'm not sure.
21:13I can't answer that.
21:15I don't know.
21:18Yes, sir?
21:19Electric.
21:23It's a good question.
21:25It's a great question.
21:26Yes, Scott?
21:27So long as we're asking sort of unknowable questions.
21:29What do you think happens to us after we die?
21:33I mean, how much time have we got?
21:36We've got about a couple of minutes.
21:38Now, outside of TV, I don't think there's a busier actor than you.
21:42We've seen you at Sister Act and Juliet Chicago.
21:44You obviously love a good stage musical.
21:46I do.
21:47I love them.
21:47They're a lot of fun.
21:48And you've just opened in a new musical called Kimberley Akimbo.
21:51I have.
21:52What's the story in line, Casey?
21:53Oh, it is such a beautiful story.
21:55It is about Marina Pryor who plays Kimberley in our show.
21:58And her arc is of a 16-year-old who has an ageing disease.
22:02So she's 16, but she looks around 60 to 70.
22:06I play Aunt Deborah, who's a kleptomaniac.
22:09But she loves her family and she just wants the family to do well.
22:12But it's a beautiful, heartwarming story.
22:15That is a great...
22:15I saw this on Broadway.
22:17This is an amazing musical.
22:19And that's the best character.
22:20That's awesome.
22:21Yeah, Aunt Deb.
22:22Congratulations.
22:22She's got the stickiest hands of all.
22:24Thank you so much.
22:24Is that why you're in it too, up the back there?
22:27Yeah.
22:28Oh, yeah.
22:31Does make a brief appearance.
22:33Sam.
22:33I saw you in Sister Act and you were amazing.
22:36I just wanted that on the record.
22:38Aw.
22:38That's it?
22:39I appreciate that.
22:41That's lovely.
22:41Kitty.
22:42If we're saying nice things about Casey, I'll say this.
22:44You fascinate me.
22:47All the girls say that as well.
22:48The show involves singing, dancing and rollerblading.
22:52There's some footage here of...
22:53There she is.
22:54Wow.
22:54You're going around with...
22:55So, any mishaps?
22:57Uh, the other day I thought I snapped my vagina.
23:03It's an ask a follow-up question.
23:08Now, later this year, you're going to be taking the stage with your Australian Idol friend and judge, Marsha Hines.
23:14It's Marsha Sings Summer.
23:16That's the...
23:16She sure does.
23:17Yeah, Donna Summer.
23:18Wow.
23:18All the songs of Donna Summer.
23:19Wow.
23:19It's going to be amazing and I'm a special guest, so...
23:21Do you get bad girls or, uh...
23:23I've asked for Love to Love Your Baby.
23:26Oh, nice.
23:27And I don't know if you know how that starts, but it's...
23:29Oh, nice.
23:30Oh, nice.
23:40Tom's used to that when he's paid money and he's just on the phone.
23:44There you go.
23:45And, uh, I think I just snapped my vagina.
23:49It does happen.
23:50It does happen.
23:51Hey, we've got some questions.
23:52We've got five people who are pretty across the news of the week.
23:56Right.
23:57Uh, let's see if we can get some answers.
23:58Okay.
23:59Fleetwood Macs, Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham have teamed up again to do what?
24:05Ursula.
24:05They found a bag of Coke that they didn't finish in the second.
24:09The best behind them now, Ursula, I think they're all pretty...
24:13Mexican Coke.
24:15The Coke.
24:16Forget the Coke.
24:17It's an artistic endeavor, Sam.
24:19Well, I'm going to assume they're getting together to sing.
24:25God.
24:26Close.
24:27They're going to re-release audio of them singing previously.
24:31Their two-hander album.
24:32Is it called Buckingham...
24:34Buckingham Necks?
24:35Yeah.
24:35They were a folky duo back in the day.
24:37What does that mean?
24:37Oh, hang on.
24:37What does that mean?
24:38Hang on.
24:38Hey, you're on a note.
24:41Go your look, mate.
24:43That's your intro.
24:43Go your look.
24:44It was a look.
24:45All right, next question, please.
24:46Nick Cave made headlines this week after donating 2,000 what?
24:51Ursula.
24:52Books.
24:53Yes.
24:53Books to a charity bookshop in the UK.
24:55Giving away books is just sort of decluttering, really, isn't it?
25:00I'm sure it's...
25:01Well, not to those people who can't afford books, Tom.
25:03I don't mix with them.
25:07It's gone.
25:09Well, you told me it's faster to burn them, didn't you?
25:13This is on me, I know.
25:15Sorry, I'm sorry, Casey.
25:16It's totally fine.
25:17Next question, please.
25:18This was a surprise.
25:19What 53-year-old celebrity is the cover star of Men's Fitness this month?
25:24Guys.
25:25It's someone who used to be funny, and then they got strong instead.
25:29It's Sacha Baron Cohen.
25:30Wow, editorialising.
25:32It is, yeah.
25:32It's like the hard launch of a midlife crisis, right there.
25:36It's very stupid.
25:44Quick expression, please.
25:45This raunchy concert footage has caused a stir online.
25:50Oh.
25:51Oh.
25:54It's all right.
25:55It's all right.
25:55It's all right.
25:57Who's that performing?
25:59Kitty?
25:59I don't know, but I think she's got a broken vagina now.
26:06That's the opening sequence at my Adelaide show.
26:12And that's why it sells out, Ursula.
26:15Ed, who's that performing?
26:16Is that you, J-Lo?
26:17It is.
26:18Jennifer Lopez, her ongoing Up All Night tour, which is her first in six years.
26:24Tell me if you need me for the next break, I'm going to be bathroom camping.
26:28Well, we do have to take a break.
26:30You can catch Casey and Kimberley Akimbo at the Melbourne Theatre Company until the end of August
26:35or on tour next year around the country.
26:37Would you please thank Casey Donovan?
26:53We're back and trying to put introductions individually under the spotlight.
26:56This week, we lost one of the founding fathers of heavy metal music, the great Ozzy Osbourne.
27:02And what better way to celebrate his legacy than with this?
27:08Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy.
27:16Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy.
27:17All right.
27:21I think it's pretty self-evident.
27:23We'll show you each a clip relating to the Prince of Darkness.
27:27All you have to do is answer a straightforward question.
27:30Guy, let's start with you.
27:34He's gone.
27:35I don't count.
27:36Wow.
27:37Guy, take a look at this music video from the title track of Ozzy Osbourne's third studio album.
27:42It breaks the silence, breaking from the beginning of the night.
27:49Letting fall in your will.
27:54Guy, he's drunk a vial of poison.
27:57What happens next?
27:59It looked like...
28:02It looked like he was going to get sick.
28:06But I think in the world of heavy metal, sick would be too obvious.
28:10Uh, what about this?
28:12So they make you think he's going to get sick.
28:14Oh.
28:15It's a trap anyone could fall into.
28:17Mr. Rack.
28:17And then he comes back and he's empowered in some sinister and evil way.
28:23Well, he changes into something.
28:25Oh.
28:29Uh, Tom Gleisner?
28:35It's, uh, I'll give you one more clue.
28:37Like, it's a fictional but scary figure.
28:40Uh, Dracula.
28:42Let's find out.
28:43Fuck the bone.
28:44Oh.
28:45It's a werewolf.
28:46So close.
28:47Yeah.
28:47I was close.
28:50You should do it with the voice.
28:51Do the voice.
28:52Ozzy's voice?
28:53Yeah.
28:53Oh, when he was in the...
28:54Oh, oh, oh, oh.
28:55Oh, Sharon.
28:56Sharon.
28:57Sharon.
28:57Sharon.
28:58Sharon.
28:58Sharon.
28:58Yeah.
29:00Uh, yes, Sam?
29:01Don't do the voice.
29:03It's from the music video, Bark at the Moon.
29:06Sorry, guy.
29:06Can't give you the points.
29:07Kitty, the wild frontman and heavy metal pioneer, made an appearance on David Letterman's Late
29:13Night in 1982, and his onstage antics were the first topic of conversation.
29:18Now, why would you want to do that, exactly?
29:21Well, it's my hobby, you know.
29:24No, now, see, you're going to give these people the wrong...
29:26It's not really your hobby, is it?
29:28Let's have a look at your neck.
29:29No, no, no.
29:29Here, here, here, here.
29:31You see, the thing is, Colonel Saunders, how many chickens did he keep up to death?
29:35Did you know immediately, not having bitten into...
29:40Well, I've bitten some pretty rough chicken on the road, you know, but...
29:44I can assure you the, uh, rabies shots that I went through afterwards aren't fun.
29:50Kitty, what's Ozzy talking about?
29:51I don't know.
29:52I couldn't understand a word he said.
29:54He talks about chicken, and you mentioned having to get a rabies shot.
29:58Join those dots.
29:59Was he sick?
30:01You've got to survive this.
30:03This was legendary.
30:04Some people said it never happened, but he admitted it.
30:06It was onstage antics, and people do crazy things.
30:09Oh, oh, I know.
30:10Is it a bat?
30:11Let's see if you're correct.
30:13Let's tell them what you did.
30:13Bit the head off a bat.
30:14There, I said it.
30:15Ten points to Kitty.
30:16That's what I should have done.
30:19He bit the head off a bat at a concert in Wuhan, so that was quite...
30:25Sam, you're watching a scene from the 2019 film The Dirt about metal glands.
30:30Tommy, Tommy, your pacemaker's overheated.
30:37It's a 2019 film The Dirt about metal glam band Motley Crue, where a young Ozzy played
30:42by actor Tony Cavalero makes a brief but highly memorable cameo.
30:46Now, this is your first real tour, right?
30:48I want you to be careful.
30:50There's a life full of booze, drugs, and unprotected sex is only going to fuck you up, man.
31:01Now, give me a straw or fancy a bump.
31:03Oh, man.
31:04All right, we're all out of blow, dude.
31:06Man, we're out.
31:06I said I want a bump.
31:08Straw, please.
31:11Okay.
31:14Well, stop her there and ask Sam, according to legend, what does Ozzy snort?
31:19Well, it's not cocaine.
31:20Correct.
31:21All right, that was a very quick answer.
31:23He says he wants a bit of a bump, so I guess he wants to...
31:26I've never heard that expression before.
31:30Well, he was going out of shot, so I'm just going to say he snorted something off the ground.
31:35Yes.
31:36And that thing off the ground would be?
31:38Oh, Jesus.
31:38That's not enough?
31:40It's another living thing.
31:42Oh, I've got no idea.
31:43I seriously...
31:44I'm sorry, I can't...
31:44It's a line of them.
31:45You know, you snort a line of coke, he snorts a line of...
31:49I've never done this in all the times, but can you just pass?
31:52Well, you just did.
31:54You're going to pass?
31:55Yeah, I'm happy to pass.
31:57All right, let's find out.
31:58Is that...
31:58Can you steal?
31:59All right, Kitty, you may steal.
32:01Oh, I don't know either.
32:02I just thought someone...
32:04Well, stop it there.
32:06Let's find out what Ozzy snorts.
32:12A line of ants.
32:14Okay, Ed.
32:15Yeah.
32:16One of Ozzy's greatest ever hits was Paranoid with Black Sabbath.
32:19But the song had one line that many fans struggled to understand clearly.
32:24Take a listen.
32:25Can you help me?
32:28I'm new by my brain.
32:30Can you help me?
32:33I'm new by my brain.
32:36Can you help me?
32:38What does Ozzy want help with?
32:40Something inside my brain?
32:42Brain is the last word.
32:43Well, in fact, two words.
32:44My brain.
32:45So it's just three syllables before that, and you can have the points.
32:47Can you help me?
32:48Da, da, da, my brain.
32:50I could steal this one.
32:51Please do.
32:51I have no idea.
32:53Occupy.
32:53Oh, really?
32:54Isn't that what he was saying?
32:55Kitty has the points.
32:56Can you help me?
32:57Occupy, my brain.
32:58Sorry, Ed.
32:59Good job.
33:00Well done, Kitty.
33:01Don't you reckon the whole show's better when you can steal?
33:05Yeah.
33:05Yeah, I agree.
33:06Well, that's in play for the rest of the show.
33:08All right.
33:08Well, give Ursula a first go.
33:11You're up next, Ursula.
33:12The Prince of Darkness and First Man of Metal took to the stage in Cincinnati in 1992 to
33:17perform the Black Sabbath anti-war protest song, War Pigs.
33:32We'll stop it there and ask you, Ursula, what does Aussie throw into the crowd?
33:36Well, can I just say, I've had those eyes before.
33:38When you're sleeping with your kid and they pee in the bed.
33:44Is it water?
33:46Is it water?
33:49Sorry, I've just peed my seat.
33:51That's right.
33:52Was that your answer there, Ursula?
33:54Yeah, bucket of water.
33:55Can I steal?
33:57Yeah.
33:57Blood.
33:58No.
33:59The blood of a bat.
34:00The blood of a small child.
34:02Stop your stealing because I think Ursula may have it quite correct.
34:06Take a look.
34:08Oh.
34:09Oh.
34:09It's water.
34:11Whoa.
34:12Rock and roll.
34:12That's true, Ursula.
34:14Tom, but your reaction made it seem like I might be wrong.
34:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:19Well, you were...
34:19You were sending mixed signals.
34:21I was.
34:21I think that wig is giving you dementia.
34:23Take that off.
34:24And all too soon, that brings us to the end.
34:27Oh, Aussie.
34:29Aussie.
34:30Aussie.
34:31That's with more Have You Been Handled.
34:34Right after this.
34:46Well, that's your watch.
34:47Have you been paying attention?
34:49Hands on buzzers.
34:50Well, this was interesting.
34:52Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made a rare appearance in Washington, D.C.
34:56What was the appearance?
34:58Guy.
34:59Dishevelled.
35:00It was...
35:01I think he was looking, you know, in a suit and tie.
35:04But he was...
35:05He was speaking in front of...
35:06Sam.
35:07Congress.
35:08Yes, yes.
35:08About China's influence in the region.
35:11Two puzzling scenes from Japan.
35:13Oh!
35:15Oh, wow.
35:18Oh.
35:21What's going on there?
35:22Guy.
35:23The opening of Japanese Parliament.
35:27It's the Usher.
35:28It's not the Usher.
35:29It's a...
35:30Sam.
35:31No, it's a gritty Japanese remake of Winnie the Pooh.
35:37Winnie the Pooh's kind of an entry into the answer.
35:40Ursula.
35:41Are they training how to deal with bees?
35:43Yeah, they're apparently having a lot of attacks across Japan, Ursula, so that's Japanese police
35:48and...
35:49And the main technique is telling the beer to get on the ground.
35:53Is this covering all possibilities?
35:57Points are yours, Ursula.
35:57Oh, I believe we have some video quiz masters standing by.
36:01Hey, Tom.
36:01And hi, everyone.
36:03I'm Chef Phoenix.
36:04And I'm Chef Ollie, and we're from England.
36:06And we just beat the world record for the world's largest...
36:09What?
36:10What record did Chefs Phoenix and Ollie break?
36:12The world's largest...
36:14Cook something up.
36:14It's Guy.
36:16That split screen was crazy.
36:20I thought it was one room, but that's got to be too close to me.
36:24They did that themselves, apparently, guys.
36:25Oh, that was weird.
36:25That's super disorienting.
36:28What is the food that they've cooked up that's the largest ever?
36:33What do you make big, do you reckon, guys?
36:35Let's work together on this one, hey?
36:37Is it a dessert?
36:41No, it's an egg-based...
36:44Ursula.
36:44Is it an omelette?
36:45It's not.
36:47Sam.
36:48Is it a boiled egg?
36:50Here we go.
36:52It involves...
36:53It's going to be a Scotch egg.
36:54Oh, Guy, let's see if you're right.
36:56A Scotch egg.
37:00Guy, what technically is a Scotch egg?
37:03What is that?
37:03It's an egg and sausage.
37:05Yeah.
37:06And it's apparently a pretty easy way to get into the Guinness World Record.
37:12Points are yours.
37:13All right, it's time to look at all things athletic.
37:24Well, it was a big weekend for these fans.
37:27What event were they attending?
37:29Kitty.
37:30A Peruvian drug bust.
37:34A little closer to home.
37:36Japanese lion escape training.
37:39It was actually a guy.
37:41No, this was for a game of rugby union.
37:44Played between the Wallabies and the British and Irish Lions.
37:47Indeed.
37:48The Wallabies.
37:49They lost.
37:49Yeah, they love to do that.
37:50But it was on a...
37:53It was on a technicality, was it?
37:55Well, yeah, the technicality was that the other team scored more poorly.
38:01Point to yours.
38:02Because Aussie cyclist Ben O'Connor was happy.
38:04I couldn't be proud.
38:05Couldn't be more proud of myself.
38:07What's he proud of?
38:09Ursula?
38:09He pulled off white bike pants and he looked phenomenal.
38:12He did.
38:13It is hard to look good.
38:15And the white light...
38:16No, what's he...
38:17He's just done something pretty impressive, Sam.
38:20Well, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that he won something.
38:24There you go.
38:25Kitty.
38:26Steal.
38:30It's written on the microphone.
38:31He won the Tour de France.
38:33We might say a stage of the Tour de France.
38:36Yeah, he won a...
38:37Steal.
38:37Stage.
38:40I'm going to go ahead and say he won a stage at the Tour de France,
38:44as it says on the microphone.
38:45All right, Ursula, I'm going to give you the points.
38:47It was the mountain climb through the Alps.
38:50Well done, Ben.
38:51To a dramatic moment at the end of stage 17 of the Tour de France.
38:57Oh, yeah.
39:03Wow, what's the story there?
39:05Kitty.
39:06Are these guys from the local cafe and they've just had enough of the side?
39:11Not cafe owners.
39:12They're just stopping them before they even get to the table.
39:14This was a remarkable moment.
39:16It's not what you think.
39:17Sam.
39:18That guy on the bike, now on the ground, is not a real rider.
39:22He was an invader who just jumped on the field.
39:26Oh.
39:27To a sweet moment during Greek tennis star Maria Sakari's Washington match.
39:31Good work there for Sakari.
39:33Taking care of the local wildlife.
39:35Very delicately done.
39:36What happens next?
39:38It's OK, Sam.
39:39Did you say Greek?
39:40Yes.
39:41Did she have the court concreted?
39:47She has very carefully taken the little bug to the side of the court.
39:51Yes, Sam.
39:52Did she fake a back injury and get workers' compensation?
39:59Guy.
40:00The bald boy or girl comes over and they undo all her hard work.
40:05They squash the bug.
40:06Oh, my goodness.
40:07Would you look away now?
40:08Yes.
40:09As Guy says, look away now.
40:11Oh, no.
40:12The bald boy did get the better.
40:15Indeed.
40:16We've got to take a break.
40:17Back with our winner.
40:18Right after this.
40:28We're back.
40:29Let's close the show out with a little Rapid Recall.
40:32And tonight's Rapid Recall is once again proudly brought to you by our very good friends at Yui.
40:37As a wise man once said...
40:39You haven't shopped around until you've tried Yui.
40:42Or if it...
40:43I see the good folks at Yui have finally done something about your inability to walk normally.
40:49I don't know.
40:49I don't know.
40:49I don't know what you're talking about, Tom.
40:51This is their latest ad.
40:53$262 on her car insurance.
40:55That's right.
40:56That works.
40:56I think that works nicely.
40:58All right.
40:59Start that clock.
41:01Big win for beer drinkers this week.
41:03What was announced?
41:05Guy.
41:06The end of dry July and the beginning of...
41:08Yes, that is...
41:08We're in August.
41:11I think it's a rise in prices for the beer.
41:15Why would that be a big win?
41:18They're supporting something they love.
41:20Yeah.
41:21So you can drink more.
41:23It's sort of the opposite.
41:24But you're in the...
41:25Yeah.
41:25The prices are staying the same.
41:27The taxes...
41:28Taxes have been frozen for two years.
41:30Thanks, Guy.
41:30Bob Catter broke with parliamentary...
41:33Again, by refusing to do what?
41:36Kitty.
41:36To stop doing the offensive Stevie Wonder impression.
41:41That's just a casual moment.
41:43Sorry, what's he refusing to do?
41:46Ursula.
41:46A remake of Wiggin at Bernie.
41:49Bernie for the role.
41:51Sam.
41:52He's refusing to wear his neck to Parliament.
41:57This was at the opening of Parliament, I think, last Tuesday.
42:00One of the things they do.
42:01He doesn't do.
42:02He refused to...
42:04Ursula.
42:05Pledge to the king.
42:07Swear allegiance to King Charles.
42:09These festival goers have caused outrage in the small English village of Ellington.
42:13What's the festival for King and Kitty?
42:16Is it plain and lumpy palooza?
42:20It should be.
42:22What is that?
42:23It's got a...
42:25It's got a sexual...
42:27Oh, right.
42:28Undertone, Ursula.
42:29Um, well, they are wildly unattractive, so I would say a swingers club thing.
42:34Swing-a-thon 2025, Ursula, give you the points.
42:37I can see the chlamydia.
42:38Yeah.
42:41For the first time in their 20-year history, F1 team Red Bull had a race weekend without what?
42:47Kitty.
42:48Uh, they fired, um, Ginger Spice's husband.
42:52Yeah, there you go.
42:53Christian Horner.
42:54Hey, Kitty.
42:55Sports question for Kitty.
42:56That's pretty nice.
42:59I don't know his name.
43:00Just Mr Spice, I call him.
43:02Mr Spice.
43:03Uber are introducing a new feature that allows women to avoid what?
43:08Sam.
43:08Is it male drivers?
43:12That's it.
43:12No jokes.
43:14Got it.
43:14Thought I saw a chance to steal, but you were having a stroke.
43:22Sam, they're trying it in the US, if you want to.
43:25If you'd had a stroke during the Aussie Osmond segment, that would have worked better, I reckon.
43:30I agree.
43:31After years of speculation, Nintendo has confirmed what about Mario and Peach's relationship?
43:37Sam, they claim that they're just good friends.
43:41No.
43:42I answer to you, where did Baby Peach come from?
43:45Thank you so much.
43:52I will play the first part.
43:53Thank you, Sam, that they are just good friends.
43:55Big announcement from Lord of the Dance.
43:57Oh, and we're out of time.
43:58Let's check that final leaderboard, and our winner is Guy Montgomery.
44:05Congratulations to everyone.
44:06Thanks to everyone for being part of the show tonight.
44:09We'll leave you with a reminder of the need to pay attention when showing off on morning
44:12TV.
44:14Oh, there we go.
44:18Good night, Australia.
44:19See you all next week.
44:22We'll see you all next week.
44:23We'll see you all next week.
44:25We'll see you all next week.
44:28We'll see you all next week.
44:28We'll see you all next week.
44:28We'll see you all next week.
44:36You
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