- 4 hours ago
Dietrich arrests an aging Olympic hopeful who practices his javelin toss in Central Park. A Hassidic Jew is the target of a diamond thief.
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00:07I'm just about finished with our diamond robbery victim.
00:10You said you wanted to see him?
00:12Yeah, I asked him to wait a minute.
00:14What's that you got on your face?
00:18They're called glasses.
00:19Oh, yeah.
00:21I would have expected such a response from a playmate on the schoolyard.
00:25Hardly from an adult colleague.
00:28Hey, Bart, I'm sorry.
00:28I mean, really, I didn't mean to make you feel self-conscious.
00:30I'm not self-conscious.
00:32Just need these things for reading, that's all.
00:35Hey, I understand.
00:38But I kind of like the way you look with glasses on.
00:42Sorry, Harris.
00:43Sorry.
00:43No, really, Bart.
00:44I mean, it makes you appear a bit more distinguished, reflective.
00:51Walter Pidgeon.
00:53Walter Pidgeon?
00:54Yeah, Bart, and the mustache, the glasses.
00:56Bart, you look just like Walter Pidgeon.
00:58What the hell are you talking about?
01:03I must be 80 years old by now.
01:05Oh, really?
01:07Well, I guess I just paid him a compliment.
01:09That's just one of the things you've done.
01:12All right.
01:22Excuse me.
01:27Ah, good morning.
01:29Hello, hello.
01:37Hey, uh, morning, Dietrich.
01:39No, how are you doing?
01:40Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?
01:42Sure.
01:43Because you know a lot more facts than I do.
01:45That's a good way of phrasing it.
01:48What is it?
01:48That I know a lot more facts.
01:51Doesn't imply that I'm any smarter than you,
01:52or that, uh, I have some sort of intrinsic intelligence that you don't have.
01:57Just means that because of my background and education,
01:59I just, uh, happen to have a few more bits of information available to remember, that's all.
02:05Yeah.
02:05Right.
02:06Okay.
02:06Hmm.
02:08Is that guy a Quaker?
02:09What, are you crazy?
02:11I don't know.
02:12I just don't know.
02:13He's a Hasidic Jew.
02:15Oh, right.
02:17There was another diamond robbery.
02:19Yeah.
02:20Well, you do know that the Hasidim have traditionally been a part of the diamond business in New York
02:26since the turn of the century.
02:27No, I don't know that either.
02:31What did the Rangers do last night?
02:33I wanted three, too.
02:34Thanks.
02:39Oh, hey, Barn.
02:41Good morning.
02:41Uh, Barn.
02:43Do you know what that guy is?
02:46Yeah.
02:47Oh.
02:49Well, uh, Rangers won last night in case you're interested.
02:54Mark.
02:58This is, uh, Yaakov Berger.
03:00Mr. Berger, Captain Miller.
03:01Berger?
03:02Captain?
03:03Mr. Berger was walking down Canal carrying approximately 40 uncut diamonds
03:07when he was accosted by a man with a gun.
03:09Yeah, he took out this pistol and he said, hand over the ice, Padre.
03:13Padre?
03:14Yes, I thought he met somebody else, another person, but no such luck.
03:18You, uh, gave him the gems.
03:21That surprises you?
03:22No, no, no.
03:24That's a very wise move.
03:26You know, your Shakespeare said, uh, he who steals my purse steals trash.
03:32You heard that?
03:33Yes, I'm...
03:34Don't you believe it?
03:3785 carats, a very valuable merchandise, he took.
03:41Sorry to hear that.
03:42Well, at least I'm alive, thank the Lord.
03:45Uh, won't you have a seat, Mr. Berger?
03:51There's, uh, just one thing that I'm, uh, I don't really understand.
03:55What...
03:56What were you doing walking through the street carrying all these diamonds in your pocket?
04:00What's to understand?
04:01That's tradition.
04:03Tradition?
04:04Mm-hmm.
04:05Pardon, Fiddler on the Roof.
04:06Didn't you see it?
04:09Just a generation.
04:10My father and his father before him.
04:13We always walked the streets of New York, never been bothered.
04:17Well, I'm afraid times are changing, Mr. Berger.
04:19We've had four such robberies in the last two weeks alone.
04:22Oy, that's shameful.
04:24You should do something about it.
04:27Well, we're trying, Mr. Berger,
04:28but it would help if you didn't present such a tempting target.
04:31What do you want me to do?
04:33Wear a disguise?
04:38Uh, Barn?
04:41There's a disturbance over in the park.
04:43Oh.
04:44Uh, want me to check it out?
04:45Yeah, uh, hmm.
04:46Take a uniform with you.
04:47We're still short-handed.
04:50If there isn't anything else, Captain...
04:52I've already sent out a description of the suspect, Barn, so...
04:56That'll be it for now, Mr. Berger,
04:57if, uh, if anything turns up, we'll, we'll contact you.
05:03You're welcome.
05:05Shalom.
05:06Shalom?
05:07Shalom.
05:08Shalom uberachah.
05:10Vetoda bad ezracha.
05:12Amen.
05:49Oh, my God.
06:43Oh, my God.
06:49Saturday, 8 p.m., black tie optional?
06:53Most of the people will be wearing jeans. I just don't want to inhibit anybody sartorial.
06:58I understand.
06:59There's an RSVP there. You coming?
07:05Well, I'll let you know.
07:09All right. Well, fraternization would subordinates. I understand.
07:12No, no, no, no, no. That's not it. It's just that...
07:15Well, I mean, honestly, I don't know that I'd fit in with your friends.
07:19You don't have to worry about that. There's going to be a lot of older folks there.
07:24I got a friend, 87. He worked on the Panama Canal.
07:29It's pretty wild at these parties sometimes.
07:32I'll let you know.
07:32Sure. Take your time.
07:36You can let me know later on.
07:38Even tomorrow.
07:41I just need an approximate account for the egg rules.
07:44Hope you can make it.
07:51Great upper body strength. You must be a lifter, right?
07:55Where should I put this stuff?
07:57Uh, down.
08:01Hey, careful with my equipment.
08:03I got my own equipment to worry about.
08:07What the hell is all that?
08:08Uh, Warren, this is, uh, this is Richard Perito.
08:12Hi.
08:13This is Captain Miller.
08:14You a policeman?
08:15Yes? Don't you have fitness requirements anymore?
08:18I just can't, will you, Perito?
08:22Uh, he was, uh, in the park.
08:24He almost hit some old lady with his spear.
08:27No, no, that's a javelin.
08:29It was a 200-foot toss.
08:31He was fighting with a bunch of Cub Scots.
08:33Yeah, they kept pulling up my distance markers, the little devils.
08:36I wanted to work on those, uh, status reports with you.
08:39Uh, Dietrich?
08:40Would you, uh, take Mr. Perito's statement?
08:43Right.
08:43Hold it down, Mr. Perito.
08:45Did you ever throw one of these things?
08:52You're a tough sucker, huh?
08:55Let me.
08:55Yeah.
08:56Let's see.
08:58Here.
08:58Mail?
08:59No, it's an invitation to a party I'm giving.
09:01Yeah?
09:04Saturday, 8 p.m., no kidding.
09:06Think you can make it?
09:07Sure.
09:08I can even come a little early and help with the dips, set up some folding chairs.
09:11No, 8 o'clock's fine.
09:13Beautiful.
09:14Hey, I can take some of those adult games I have and bring them along.
09:16We're going to be playing some.
09:18As each guest comes in, they draw from a hat the name of a 14th century philosopher and assume his
09:24character.
09:24Then, by quoting various thoughts and phrases during the course of a normal conversation, each guest tries to guess the
09:31other's identity.
09:32You ever play that?
09:34I play Yahtzee.
09:37All right.
09:38I'll see you there.
09:39See you there.
09:39Okay.
09:40Okay.
09:43Uh.
09:45Damn it.
09:46Excuse me.
09:47I forgot.
09:47I forgot something.
09:51What was the January figures?
09:54January is right.
09:57Here.
09:58January.
09:58Oh, thank you.
10:03Hey, glasses.
10:05Yes, glasses.
10:07Well, how come?
10:10Well, I thought about it.
10:12I decided it would be nice if I could see what I was doing.
10:15Oh, there's something wrong with your eyes.
10:19That's generally the reason one wears glasses.
10:22I got an uncle who wears glasses exactly like these ones.
10:26You know, the same black frame.
10:29The hearing aid clips on right here.
10:32Huh?
10:33There's a hearing aid.
10:35Oh, there's a hearing aid.
10:42Occupation?
10:44Athlete.
10:45Amateur.
10:46I want that specified.
10:47Amateur athlete.
10:48Hmm?
10:49Do you have any more traditional occupation as well, Mr. Preeto?
10:51Oh, no.
10:52I used to, but it took too much time away from my training.
10:55Uh-huh.
10:55What are you training for, Mr. Preeto?
10:58Isn't it obvious?
11:01Decathlon?
11:02Mm-hmm.
11:02Olympics.
11:031980?
11:04Mm-hmm.
11:04If I'm ready.
11:06Otherwise, 1984.
11:11What's your age, Mr. Preeto?
11:12I'm 43.
11:13I'll save you the trouble, all right?
11:15I'm going to be 45 for the 80 games.
11:17I'll be 49 in 1984.
11:19Huh?
11:20Foolish, you're thinking.
11:22Oh, yes.
11:22He's lost his mind.
11:23He's gone bananas.
11:24Please save me the trouble because I've heard all of that before.
11:27All right?
11:36All right?
11:38Yeah?
11:39Yeah.
11:39It's true.
11:40Not too many people are aware of that, you know.
11:42That's right.
11:43I'll give you an example.
11:44Grandma Moses didn't begin painting until she was in her late 70s.
11:47Yeah, that's right.
11:49Eamon de Valera was president of Ireland at the age of...
11:5292.
11:53Right?
11:53Exactly.
11:54Right.
11:55And then there was Senator Strom Thurmond.
11:59What?
12:01Fathered a child at the age of 74.
12:04Oh.
12:06I guess his only abstentions have been on the floor of the Senate.
12:11That's political satire.
12:15You hear me?
12:20Captain, I'm going to take Pareto for pictures and prints.
12:23Fine.
12:24Okay, we'll be right there.
12:27Wait till you hear this.
12:28Had a robbery over at 10th and Canal.
12:30Another one of those diamond merchant guys.
12:32They got him trapped in the elevator.
12:33All right, take, uh...
12:35Where the hell is Harris?
12:36I don't know.
12:38Wonderful.
12:39Do you want me to get it?
12:39No, no, uh...
12:40You stick with Pareto.
12:41Uh, I'll go with you, won't you?
12:43Wait, uh, you sure you, uh...
12:44Am I sure what?
12:45Uh, nothing.
12:46I'm not.
12:47Get a car and I'll meet you downstairs.
12:53Dietrich, uh, call Kogan.
12:54Have him handle all our calls.
12:55Great.
12:57Guess he's in better shape than he looks, huh?
12:59Sure.
12:59You know, it's trite, but it's true.
13:01The body is the house where the soul resides.
13:04I don't believe I have a soul.
13:06Uh-huh.
13:07You know somebody looking for a place?
13:11Come on.
13:23Hello again.
13:25Oh, Mr. Berger, thanks for coming down.
13:27Captain Miller's on his way back with a suspect for you to identify.
13:30Oh, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
13:32You want to...
13:33Say, come on in, come on in.
13:35There's nothing to be afraid of.
13:36Come on in.
13:39Oh, uh, who's this?
13:40I don't know.
13:42Oh.
13:42Why stand in the hall?
13:44Of course.
13:46I'm, uh, Sergeant Harris.
13:47What can I do for you?
13:48Uh, yes, I was told my husband...
13:52Oh, that's his junk.
13:55You must be Mrs. Pareto.
13:56Oh, my God.
13:59He finally killed somebody with it.
14:02Well, um, actually, it was just a near miss.
14:06That's comforting.
14:08Uh, could I get something for you folks?
14:10Tea? Coffee?
14:11No, thank you.
14:13I'd like some tea.
14:14Please, help yourself.
14:16Sure, I'm used to it.
14:19Huh?
14:19Well, Sam.
14:21Richard.
14:22Sam, please do it.
14:23Yeah?
14:24What am I doing here?
14:25What are you doing here?
14:26It's just a little fracas.
14:27Fracas?
14:28They said assault with a deadly weapon.
14:31Richard, I'm in jail.
14:32You're in jail.
14:34That's bigger than a fracas, Richard.
14:35A lot bigger.
14:37Ask me to my husband.
14:39Sure, you're here's my best.
14:44Yeah, come on in, Herbie.
14:45Now, no first names.
14:47The law says I get respect.
14:49It's Mr. Glass to you.
14:51Okay, Mr. Glass.
14:52Move your suite.
14:53And no poetry either.
14:56How do you go after it?
14:58Fine, I'm sorry I missed the call.
14:59Oh, no problem.
15:00Hey, uh, not for him.
15:02Yeah?
15:02Yeah, you should have been there, Harris.
15:04He was great.
15:05All right, just get Mr. Glass's statement, huh?
15:08Um, sure, Martin.
15:09You got some, uh, text?
15:11So, we meet again.
15:14I don't know you.
15:15You don't know me.
15:17You robbed me, remember?
15:20Well, I robbed a lot of people in that get-up.
15:23Get-up?
15:24Now, did you hear what he called this?
15:26A get-up?
15:27Uh, don't pay attention to him.
15:29He's just ignorant.
15:30Listen to me.
15:31My father wore this get-up.
15:33And my grandfather wore this get-up.
15:35And my grandfather before him and before him wore this get-up.
15:40You understand?
15:41Yeah.
15:43So, if I hear you laugh, I'm gonna pull your lips off.
15:48It's very kind of you.
15:53So, how'd it go out here?
15:55Nothing, uh, particularly unusual?
15:58Not for him.
16:00Hey, he-he-he-he-he practically, uh, caught the guy, made him drop his gun single-handed.
16:05Well, said to the guy, drop your gun.
16:08Yeah, but, Barna, way you said it.
16:11You know, with such authority, the guy didn't even-
16:12Whoa, Joe, now cut it out.
16:13Cut it out, huh?
16:14This is not necessary.
16:16Just because a man puts a pair of glasses on does not mean he's doing so so that he can
16:19watch his life pass before his eyes.
16:22So, just-
16:24Just let's, uh, change the subject, huh?
16:33Hmm.
16:34He's in no mood for a party.
16:37What party?
16:39Here.
16:43Here.
16:44Did you ever hear the expression diamond in the rough?
16:48Yeah, sure.
16:49That's like you.
16:50I beg your pardon?
16:53Picture yourself naked.
16:58All right.
17:00So, what do you see?
17:00A body like any other body, huh?
17:05Well, then when you put on a fine suit and you comb your hair and you wash your face,
17:11it sparkles.
17:12It's the same principle on a diamond.
17:15Yeah, well, see, I got a few diamonds myself, you know, primarily for investment purposes.
17:23Like this one.
17:24Oh, let me see it.
17:26Let me see it.
17:34Well, it's a little bit yellow.
17:40A few, uh, not a few, quite a few imperfections.
17:46And, uh, the cut is kind of old-fashioned.
17:53If you want to make an investment, buy land.
17:57I can't.
17:57I bought this.
17:59Well, the next time that you want to invest, put it in the ground and grow something.
18:03People always want food.
18:05Yeah, but once you eat it, what have you got?
18:08Diamonds are forever.
18:12Yeah, until people decide that they don't want them anymore.
18:19Oh, God help me.
18:23Finished writing up glass.
18:25Uh, you might want to read it over because, uh, you're going to have to sign it, too.
18:35Oh, God's CPA.
18:38That's right.
18:39This is a white-collar crime.
18:42Still a crime, Mr. Glass.
18:44Yeah, but if I pushed a pencil for my whole life, I couldn't afford to buy a handful of those
18:49lousy pebbles.
18:51Hey, you're not alone, Buster.
18:52That's why I did it.
18:54To show my contempt.
18:56For the concept.
18:59That's a unique defense.
19:02What do you think?
19:10It'll just be a few minutes, ma'am.
19:12I'll give Sergeant Dietrich the bail ticket.
19:15What are you in here for?
19:18Fulfilling a dream.
19:20We're going, Richard.
19:21Roseanne?
19:22We'll talk about it at home.
19:23Roseanne, I can win.
19:25Okay.
19:26Here's your bail ticket, Mr. Perito.
19:27You're free to go.
19:29You take care of yourself.
19:30Oh, thank you.
19:31You too.
19:33At least you can work part-time and throw your spear on weekends.
19:38You've got to make a living.
19:40I'd like to, Roseanne.
19:42I can't.
19:44Captain.
19:47Richard.
19:48I can win, Roseanne.
19:50Good luck, Mr. Perito.
19:52Thanks.
19:52Yeah.
19:52Uh, Leavitt, uh...
19:55I'll take the spear and the frisbee, but you've got to take the lead ball.
20:01Richard, I swear to God I'll get a divorce.
20:06You don't mean that.
20:07I do mean it.
20:09You'll stop all this Olympic nonsense and daydreaming impossible dreams, or I will pack up my things,
20:15and you will never see me again, so help me God.
20:32How much am I holding?
20:34You mean in carrots?
20:36Dollars.
20:37Well, it depends how it's cut.
20:39Maybe a hundred thousand, so...
20:46Harris?
20:47Yeah.
20:49Uh, you through with Mr. Berger?
20:51Oh, yeah.
20:54Mr. Berger, uh, you're free to go.
20:55Uh, we'll have to hold the gems for a while for evidence, but we'll get it back to you as
20:59soon as possible.
20:59Oh, that's all right.
21:00I got plenty more, but of course I wouldn't like to lose these.
21:04Oh, no, no, no.
21:05Come on, this is evidence.
21:07All right, Captain.
21:08Thank you for everything.
21:11Goodbye, Mr. Harris.
21:13Uh, yeah.
21:19Let me see.
21:20There's, uh, what?
21:21Uh, six, seven, eight, nine, ten?
21:25My, my, my, my.
21:26I thought there was eleven or twelve here.
21:28No, no, never mind.
21:28Never mind.
21:29Never mind.
21:34April fools!
21:38All right, so it's February, so soon...
21:47Barney, you feel like talking?
21:51Bojo, I'm fine.
21:52Really?
21:53Really, I'm fine.
21:55You know, you may not think so, Barney, but sometimes we can help you out, you know, by talking.
22:01Um, like you do for us.
22:07You're right, Bojo.
22:11Just, uh, remember, uh, there's more things in heaven than earth.
22:19You know where that's from, don't you?
22:22Huh?
22:23You said it.
22:27No, I mean, who said it originally?
22:32Wasn't you?
22:35Shakespeare.
22:37Oh.
22:41Hope I haven't disappointed you.
22:44Oh, no, hey, uh, uh, that's okay.
22:49Wish I had said it first.
22:51Yeah.
22:57I'm sorry.
23:07Arthur.
23:08Hmm?
23:09Is there something you want to say to me?
23:11About what?
23:13Damp little envelopes you've been fondling all day.
23:16Oh.
23:17No.
23:21Oh.
23:26Well.
23:28These are invitations to a party I'm giving Saturday night, which I know you don't want to go to.
23:33So rather than make you uncomfortable, I didn't invite you.
23:37Oh.
23:39Well, that was thoughtful of you.
23:40You were.
23:43Because you can still come.
23:45I got another engagement.
23:48Okay.
23:48Of course.
23:51I could cancel it.
23:54Hmm?
24:02There you go.
24:08This is for Ed Olson.
24:10Yeah, I know.
24:11He's an old friend of mine, but unfortunately, I just heard he died a couple of months ago.
24:15He was 87.
24:19Oh, Arthur.
24:20I'm sorry.
24:21Don't worry about it.
24:24Just don't tell Barney.
24:25Yeah.
24:54He's an old friend of mine.
24:55I'm sorry.
24:55No.
24:55I'm sorry.
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