Abroad with Two Yanks 1944

ReelMovies

Biff and Jeff, two American G.I.'s on furlough in Australia during The Second World War, are enjoying their time the way most soldiers on leave do.

Transcript

00:00:00THE END

00:01:33And this is Pupu from Pango Pango.

00:01:36This one looks like an Eskimo girl.

00:01:38Yeah, let me see that.

00:01:39Oh, boy, what a romance that was.

00:01:41You know, every time I made love to her, I had to throw a fish to her mother.

00:01:44Oh, no.

00:01:45Well, the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabelle Lee.

00:01:50And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes of the beautiful Annabelle Lee.

00:01:56Golly, Biff, how'd you ever learn such pretty poetry?

00:01:59That's what happens when a college football player goes to his classes.

00:02:02Land ho!

00:02:04Hey, fellas, there's Australia.

00:02:06Australia!

00:02:07That ain't Shawnee, come on.

00:02:10I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high over veils and hills, when all at once

00:02:16I saw a crowd, a host of golden daffodils.

00:02:21Yeah, you're getting just as daffy as one, too.

00:02:23You better warm up the love forms.

00:02:24They're the ones you're gonna need.

00:02:25If you got any idea I'm going prospecting with you in Sydney, dismiss it.

00:02:29How far do you think you'll get with those Aussie cuties without me running your interference?

00:02:32I am not interested in Aussie cuties.

00:02:34I've got other plans for my stay in Australia.

00:02:36Such as what?

00:02:37Research.

00:02:38I don't get it.

00:02:40It's been six months since I've read a good book, listened to a symphony, or looked at a beautiful painting.

00:02:45Do you mean to tell me that you're gonna climb off of this cattle boat and make a beeline for

00:02:49the nearest art museum?

00:02:50No, I'm gonna make a beeline for a public library.

00:02:52A public library?

00:02:54Biff Oldstiff, I don't believe you.

00:02:56How do you like this guy?

00:02:57The greatest blocking back in pro football, and look at him now.

00:03:00Book buggy.

00:03:01I've got some catching up to do on my reading.

00:03:03I've got some catching up to do.

00:03:08Do you feel all right, Bill?

00:03:10Yeah, Arky in the pink.

00:03:12Why?

00:03:12But you told Jeff that...

00:03:13Look, that cut rate, Casanova's been stealing my girls for five years.

00:03:17This time, I'm gonna keep it to myself.

00:03:19Then you have a date in Australia.

00:03:21And what a date.

00:03:22The most beautiful girl in Sydney.

00:03:24How come?

00:03:25An Aussie named Cyril North.

00:03:26Oh, you mean the guy that you dragged out of the burning plane, Yon Lobus.

00:03:30Yeah, that's the one.

00:03:31Gave me a note.

00:03:33He told me if I ever got to Sydney to look up a Joyce Stewart and her old man.

00:03:37He lives with him when he's home.

00:03:38He described her to me so vividly I could almost see her standing there.

00:03:42She sounded so beautiful, I kept them telling me about her over and over again.

00:03:47Till their medical officer tossed me out.

00:03:50Gosh, I don't blame you for keeping her to yourself.

00:03:53You reckon she's got a friend?

00:03:55Yeah.

00:03:56Me.

00:04:14Hey, bud.

00:04:16What up, Yank?

00:04:16Welcome to Australia.

00:04:18What's cooking, digger?

00:04:20What's cooking?

00:04:21Japs, I hope.

00:04:22Did they give you much annoyance?

00:04:23Not much.

00:04:24Say, who shot off your pants?

00:04:26They ain't shot off.

00:04:27I washed them in American soap and they shrank.

00:04:31Look, there's a kangaroo.

00:04:33Ah, never mind the kangaroo.

00:04:35Bring on the babe.

00:04:36Yeah!

00:04:42Hey, Biff.

00:04:43Biff, get a load of that.

00:04:45Oh, boy, oh, boy.

00:04:46Girls with shoes on.

00:04:55Ma, the junk man's here.

00:04:57Yeah, Ma, the laundry man's here, too.

00:05:00Oh, let me take a look at that shirt, will you, Biff?

00:05:02Ha-ha.

00:05:02Nice job, huh?

00:05:03Oh, fine job, fine.

00:05:05Thanks very much.

00:05:05It's mine.

00:05:06Oh, no.

00:05:07I washed and ironed this one shirt myself just for me.

00:05:11Yes, I know you did.

00:05:11But do you think that neck of yours would go into a 16 collar?

00:05:18How does your shirt get in my bucket?

00:05:20Oh, I don't know.

00:05:20Accidents will happen.

00:05:21You switched them on me.

00:05:22Oh, Biff, how you talk.

00:05:24Perhaps you were just dreaming about the good time that you were going to have

00:05:27at the public library and didn't know what you were doing.

00:05:31Come to think of it, I, uh, I believe that's yours.

00:05:36Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

00:05:38We'll get a new issue of clothing as soon as we get to camp.

00:05:40Well, anyhow, you don't, you don't need a clean shirt.

00:05:45Those lady librarians will be too, too fascinated with that drippy pan of yours.

00:05:51Very amusing.

00:05:53Very, very amusing.

00:05:55While we're on the subject of drippy pans, you're the one that...

00:06:03All for me, lay two on sea deck at this apart.

00:06:07Okay.

00:06:08What's the big idea, Carrosky?

00:06:10That snake is wearing my shirt.

00:06:14How do you like that?

00:06:16Not off the ship yet and seeing snakes already.

00:06:18Here!

00:06:19Get dressed.

00:06:20And lay two on the top side on the double.

00:06:22And you'll see Australia from the brig.

00:06:29All Marines!

00:06:30All Marines!

00:06:31Lay two on sea deck at this apart.

00:06:40Mayday, gotta block a ball with the name of Carrosky.

00:06:42Fifth Carrosky.

00:06:43Buddy, there's a lot of Marines in this outfit.

00:06:46Better ask one of them.

00:06:47Hey, uh...

00:06:48Hey, Sergeant.

00:06:52Did I hear you say Carrosky?

00:06:54That's right, Cobber.

00:06:55K-O-R-A-S-K-I, Carrosky.

00:06:58Gesundheit.

00:07:00What's Carrosky done?

00:07:01What do you want him for?

00:07:02Well, it ain't me as want him.

00:07:03It's one of the young ladies at the canteen.

00:07:05She asked me to find him.

00:07:06Oh, a lady.

00:07:07Well, her search is over, Cobber.

00:07:10And, uh, here's a souvenir for your trouble.

00:07:13Took it off a tojo myself.

00:07:22Could you tell me who's looking for Griff Carrosky?

00:07:24Just a minute.

00:07:26Oh, Joyce.

00:07:27Here's the man you've been looking for.

00:07:30Oh, you're Corporal Carrosky?

00:07:32Well, I'm not his Uncle Stanislaus.

00:07:40So you're Biff.

00:07:49Hey, fellas, get a load of that.

00:07:51Come here, baby.

00:07:56Hey, Jersey.

00:07:58What's the idea?

00:07:59I thought it was a custom of the country.

00:08:01Come on, get aboard those trucks.

00:08:03Hey, break it up, fellas.

00:08:04Come on, move on.

00:08:05Get aboard those trucks.

00:08:07I'm sorry, lady.

00:08:08Come on, move on.

00:08:10Oh, it's perfectly all right.

00:08:13You can say that again.

00:08:14Oh, well, gosh, baby, this is a wonderful welcome, but would you mind telling me what it's all about?

00:08:21Cyril.

00:08:22Cyril.

00:08:23Oh, oh, of course.

00:08:24Yes, Cyril.

00:08:26Yes, good old Cyril.

00:08:28Cyril.

00:08:29Oh, now, Biff, don't tell me you don't remember Cyril.

00:08:31You saved his life.

00:08:33Did I?

00:08:34I mean, I did.

00:08:36Oh, that Cyril.

00:08:38I got him confused with the Cyril that I saved at Bougainville.

00:08:43You didn't happen to know the Bougainville Cyril, too.

00:08:45Oh, we're expecting you at the house as soon as you get leave.

00:08:49And bring your buddies, too.

00:08:50Oh.

00:08:51We're keeping open house for all you Marines.

00:08:53Joyce, Stuart.

00:08:54Why, of course, sure.

00:08:56Forgive me.

00:08:56Why, Cyril talked about you all the time.

00:08:58You know, one of the last things he said to me before I left was,

00:09:01you be sure to look up Joycey when you get back and give her a great big kiss for me.

00:09:05Um, there's enough to go around if you'll each take just one.

00:09:09Yeah, look.

00:09:09I have a spot of coffee and a sandwich, Yang.

00:09:14You better take a cup.

00:09:16He looks if you need it.

00:09:16Well, all right.

00:09:17Thanks.

00:09:19Oh, sorry, old chap.

00:09:21Very clumsy of me.

00:09:22Well, accidents will happen.

00:09:24That was no accident.

00:09:25Oh, here, it doesn't matter.

00:09:27Ladies present.

00:09:27Take another cup of coffee.

00:09:30Want a donut, too?

00:09:31Thanks.

00:09:31No, I...

00:09:32Oh, pardon me.

00:09:33Do you happen to know a Miss, uh...

00:09:37No, I guess you wouldn't.

00:09:39Do I happen to know a Miss who?

00:09:41Oh, it doesn't matter.

00:09:42I can't recall the name just now.

00:09:43Well, thanks for everything, Yang.

00:09:49Why'd you jostle in?

00:09:50After that kiss, do I know what I'm doing?

00:09:55Was that the girl you was telling me about?

00:09:57No, but if Joyce Stewart's anything like her...

00:10:00Brother, are you going to hear poetry?

00:10:08I beg your pardon, sir.

00:10:10Oh, Marines have landed, Duke.

00:10:12I'm Jeff, uh, Biff Carraschi to see Miss Stewart.

00:10:14Oh, won't you come in, sir?

00:10:16Thanks.

00:10:16Thanks very much.

00:10:17And, uh, here's a little, uh, souvenir for your trouble.

00:10:21I took it off at Tojo, myself.

00:10:23Ah, thank you, sir.

00:10:24Ah, hello, beautiful.

00:10:25Hello, dear.

00:10:25I'm so glad you could come.

00:10:27Trophies of the chase.

00:10:28Compliments of the chases.

00:10:29Well, there you are.

00:10:31Ah, thank you.

00:10:32Michael, would you put them in the library, please?

00:10:34Aye, Miss Joyce.

00:10:35Did you capture all those yourself?

00:10:36All those in heaven, too.

00:10:37Say, you got a nice little place here.

00:10:39Kind of snug and cozy.

00:10:41Oh.

00:10:42Oh, I, uh, I see we're not alone.

00:10:44Oh, I told you we were keeping open house for all you Marines.

00:10:47Yeah, so you did.

00:10:48Say, uh, there's a little unfinished business left over from this afternoon down at the dock, remember?

00:10:52I was just going to give you a big kiss for Cyril.

00:10:55Joyce!

00:10:56Where are you?

00:10:57Dad?

00:10:58Dad, this is Biff Carraschi.

00:11:00Biff Carraschi.

00:11:02The lad that saved our Cyril.

00:11:03Well, I...

00:11:04I couldn't be happier if I was seeing the purple heather in the moors back in old Scotland.

00:11:09Oh, I didn't know you were Scotch, Joyce.

00:11:11Well, her dear mother was an Australian.

00:11:13She's a kind of a blend of Scotch.

00:11:15It's too bad that Cyril is not here to congratulate you, but he's away out in one of our sheep

00:11:19stations.

00:11:20Oh.

00:11:21What are we standing here for?

00:11:22Come on into the library and tell us how you saved Cyril.

00:11:25Well, I...

00:11:25And I'll open a great big barrel of Mountain Dew, and we'll all have a wee drop, huh?

00:11:30Oh.

00:11:33Cigarette?

00:11:33No, thanks.

00:11:34Dad?

00:11:35No, thanks.

00:11:36Do tell us how you saved Cyril's life.

00:11:38Yes.

00:11:39How I saved his life?

00:11:40Yes.

00:11:41Well, if you folks don't mind, I really'd rather not talk about it.

00:11:45Please, as a favor to us.

00:11:46You see, Cyril never talked much about it.

00:11:48Oh, he didn't?

00:11:49Oh, well, in that case, I'll tell you all about it.

00:11:51You see, Cyril and I had been buddies for quite some time.

00:11:54Buddies?

00:11:54And one day...

00:11:54But I thought that Cyril was shot down.

00:11:56Yes, she was, and I was standing right next to him when it happened.

00:11:58When he was shot down in his plane?

00:12:00Well, yes.

00:12:01You see, I was standing up in my plane, which was right next to his plane.

00:12:03But how did you rescue him when his ship crashed?

00:12:05Well, when his ship crashed?

00:12:07Well, oh, I just made a fast landing and right on the water.

00:12:09But I thought it was in the jungle.

00:12:11Well, it was in the jungle, you see, but it was a pretty wet jungle, mostly swamp.

00:12:14And you braved the fire to get to Cyril.

00:12:16That's right.

00:12:17The Japs were firing everything they had at him.

00:12:18What about the fire in the plane?

00:12:25Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:12:26That missed us more of the boys.

00:12:28Excuse me.

00:12:30Saved by the bell.

00:12:30What's that?

00:12:31Oh, I said you're looking very well.

00:12:34Go on with the facts, will you?

00:12:37Oh, hello.

00:12:38Is this the residence of Miss...

00:12:42You're Joyce Stewart?

00:12:43Yes.

00:12:43Come on in.

00:12:45You're the girl I was asking.

00:12:46Did you know her down on the dock?

00:12:48And you couldn't remember my name?

00:12:49Oh, sure I could, but I didn't want that wolf to hear it.

00:12:52I have a note for you.

00:12:54Oh, Cyril's handwriting addressed to Biff Koresky.

00:12:57He happens to be here right now.

00:12:59Cyril?

00:12:59No, Biff.

00:13:00Oh, sure.

00:13:02Well, would you like to see him?

00:13:04Who?

00:13:05Biff.

00:13:07Oh, no, I see him every time I shave.

00:13:09I'd rather just stand here and look at you.

00:13:11What's your name?

00:13:13Koresky, but you can call me Biff.

00:13:15Biff?

00:13:16Yeah, my real name's Horatio Stanislaus, but everybody calls me Biff.

00:13:20Oh, but you can't be Biff Koresky.

00:13:22He's right in there now.

00:13:25Oh, just a minute, then.

00:13:35It's me.

00:13:37Of course you're Biff.

00:13:40Exactly as Cyril described you.

00:13:42But who's that man?

00:13:46What man?

00:13:48You know, the man who jostled you on the dock this afternoon.

00:13:51Oh, oh, that's Jeff Reardon.

00:13:53He's a great guy, but full of...

00:13:54Why didn't he tell me he was you?

00:13:56Did he pull that old chestnut on you?

00:13:58He certainly did.

00:14:00He's in there with my father right now.

00:14:02Did he bring a lot of Jap souvenirs with him?

00:14:04Yes.

00:14:05So that's where they went.

00:14:08To think I was beginning to get a bit soft for that silly...

00:14:12Well, I'll just send this Mr. Reardon packing.

00:14:18No, wait.

00:14:20We mustn't be too hard on him.

00:14:22After all, he can't help it.

00:14:25You mean he's...

00:14:27Yeah.

00:14:28Yeah, it all started when we made a parachute landing at Willamette's.

00:14:32Poor Jeff, he had his parachute on upside down.

00:14:36Landed on his head.

00:14:38Pathetic case.

00:14:40He'd always admired me and hero worship, you know.

00:14:44Well, after a while, he got to thinking he was me.

00:14:48Cyril!

00:14:49Hello, Joyce.

00:14:51Hello, Cyril.

00:14:53Wow, Biff, old boy.

00:14:55I traveled miles to get into town today when I heard your outfit was hit in the beach.

00:14:59Hiya, old girl.

00:15:00I arrived just in time.

00:15:01I was beginning to think the world is full of Biff's.

00:15:04Full of Biff's?

00:15:05Yeah, a pal of mine, a bit balmy, old bean.

00:15:08Thinks he's me.

00:15:09Exhaustion, eh?

00:15:10He pawned himself off on me at the dock this afternoon,

00:15:12and now he's in there telling father how he saved your life.

00:15:15Pathetic case.

00:15:16We got to humor him, otherwise he gets violent.

00:15:18Smashes things.

00:15:19What do you think we should do?

00:15:20Well, if it makes the poor fella happy, why not keep up the pretends?

00:15:24Yeah, just for an hour, then he'll probably snap out of it.

00:15:27All right, let's go in.

00:15:32And there was Cyril with his parachute caught in a palm tree, the cords around his neck choking him,

00:15:35and three Japs sneaking up through the bush to shoot him down.

00:15:37And there was I with only one cartridge left.

00:15:39What'd I do?

00:15:40I just waited until I got those three Japs right in a row, and then zing, I let them have

00:15:43it.

00:15:44All three of them, right through the heart.

00:15:46Three and one Biff, they call me.

00:15:47Hello, Biff, old pal.

00:15:50Hiya, buddy.

00:15:53Cyril?

00:15:54Isn't this a nice surprise?

00:15:56And that's not the only surprise.

00:15:58Oh, it isn't, huh?

00:15:58Uh-uh.

00:15:59Here's your old friend, Jeff Reardon.

00:16:01Jeff Reardon.

00:16:03Hello, Biff.

00:16:04How are ya?

00:16:05Oh, uh, the colonel says if you want to borrow his car to go over and see your old pal,

00:16:08General McCaffrey,

00:16:09it's okay.

00:16:10Well, yes, it's good.

00:16:11I'll run right over to see Doug.

00:16:13Do you want to go for a walk or drive or walk or something?

00:16:15Walk, Biff?

00:16:16You're not going to walk out on me the first night we're together.

00:16:19Sit down.

00:16:20I know, but you see, don't go out with him.

00:16:22He's dangerous.

00:16:22Every time he gets a girl alone, he thinks he's Casanova.

00:16:25Yes, I noticed that.

00:16:26You haven't forgotten your promise.

00:16:28What promise?

00:16:29That we'd spend our first evening together in Australia listening to Dad play the bagpipes.

00:16:33But, well, it's very nice, but I've got a lot of things to do.

00:16:37I'm almost...

00:16:38Relax, Biff.

00:16:38This is your home, boy.

00:16:40This is your home.

00:16:42He loves music.

00:16:44Soothes him.

00:16:47Joyce, why don't you take Mr. Reardon out and show him the town?

00:16:50Oh, that's a swell idea.

00:16:51Well, have a good day.

00:16:52Not you, Biff.

00:16:53You're going to stay right here and swap your arms with Dad and me.

00:16:57How about it, Mr. Reardon?

00:16:58Would you like to?

00:16:59Would I?

00:16:59Let's go before we change our minds.

00:17:02Oh, bye-bye, Biff.

00:17:04You take the high road and I'll take the low road.

00:17:07And you'll be in the doghouse before me.

00:17:25That ought to soothe him.

00:17:26Hope he doesn't become violent.

00:17:28Cyril's terribly strong.

00:17:29If we come across them MPs, I'll send them over to get him.

00:17:32Oh, I almost forgot.

00:17:38That's one that was miss-sent this afternoon.

00:17:50All right, all right.

00:17:52Come on, you guys.

00:17:54Hit the deck.

00:17:56Come on.

00:17:58Daylight in the swamp, Arky.

00:18:00Come on, hit the deck.

00:18:03Hey, you.

00:18:04Rise and shine, Carraschi.

00:18:06Why doesn't somebody choke that guy?

00:18:08He'll be right in the middle of a beautiful tree.

00:18:20Did you ask her if she had a friend?

00:18:31Get a load of that blimp.

00:18:32He's floating on air.

00:18:34Ha, ha, ha.

00:18:43Thanks, pal.

00:18:46So, you were gonna make a beeline for the nearest public library, you double-crossing phony.

00:18:51Talking about double-crosses, that was a pretty triple reverse you tried to pull.

00:18:54What was the idea of having the MPs escort me back to barracks?

00:18:57Miss Stewart thought you were going to become violent.

00:18:59Miss Stewart?

00:19:00Where have you been?

00:19:02Out waltzing on a cloud.

00:19:04All night?

00:19:04No, just since 11.30, when she kissed me goodnight.

00:19:08Since then, I've been wandering along the river, composing sonnets to her hair.

00:19:12Ah, her hair is like gossamer threads.

00:19:15Her eyes are like limpy...

00:19:16Here it comes.

00:19:18Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to step in and save you again.

00:19:21Oh, no, you don't.

00:19:22This time, I don't want to be saved.

00:19:24Miss Stewart, I should say Joycey.

00:19:27She's different.

00:19:27That's what you thought about that washout in Washington.

00:19:29Yeah, she was all right until you...

00:19:31And then there was that redhead in Boston.

00:19:34That was some of the nicest saving I ever did for you.

00:19:36What chance has a girl got when a guy like you...

00:19:37How about the little cutie in Green Bay?

00:19:39You had to wave to her in the stands and let my touchdown pass hit you in the back of

00:19:43your fat neck.

00:19:43Cost us the pennant.

00:19:44Is that any reason for you to take her out and get us right up?

00:19:47If I hadn't gotten you in the Marine Corps, you'd be back in the eight ball right now with some

00:19:50allotment grabbing Gertie.

00:19:51Yeah, with you grabbing her allotment.

00:19:54Now, get this through your thick skull, you silly-looking sad sack.

00:19:57I'm here for a rest.

00:19:58I'm tired of saving you from gals, and I don't want any part of it here in Australia.

00:20:03Look, Jeff, you've been stealing my girls for five years.

00:20:06But if you as much as make a feint at Miss Stewart, I will personally...

00:20:09Oh, that's gratitude for you.

00:20:10And after all I've done for you.

00:20:13Look, Biffle, pal.

00:20:14I wouldn't do this for anybody else in the world.

00:20:16But you're such an easy mark for girls, and you're such a big good nature...

00:20:21No, no, no, no, no, Jeff, it won't work.

00:20:22The stewards think you're nuts.

00:20:24And if you even show up around there, they will sick the dogs on you.

00:20:28Oh, so the stewards think I'm nuts, do they?

00:20:30Yeah.

00:20:34Oh.

00:20:35So they think I'm nuts.

00:20:37Well, don't worry, old pal.

00:20:39I'm not going to let you down.

00:21:03I must have overslept.

00:21:04All in.

00:21:08Fish.

00:21:09Fight, fish.

00:21:17Cardinal.

00:21:19Yes, Dr. French, I'm listening.

00:21:22So you see, Miss Stewart, I'm the medical officer in charge of this case.

00:21:26The lad is suffering from a very rare mental disorder.

00:21:30Uh, schizophrenia.

00:21:33It means a split personality.

00:21:35Thinks he's someone else.

00:21:37Yes, I know, doctor.

00:21:38Last night he thought he was Biff Carraskey.

00:21:40Oh, quite so, quite so.

00:21:43Frankly, Miss Stewart, you could help the lad if you will.

00:21:46I can.

00:21:47How?

00:21:47Well, if he should come to your home, just treat him like you would any of our boys.

00:21:51But if he makes any requests or demands, within reason, of course, grant them.

00:21:57Any refusal to do so will set the patient back, causing him to become, uh, uh, psychotic, violent, you know.

00:22:06Uh, will you help us?

00:22:07Well, uh, I'll do anything I can, doctor.

00:22:11Oh, thank you, Miss Stewart, thank you.

00:22:13And just one more thing.

00:22:15Uh, the real Biff Carraskey seems to have a very disturbing effect on our poor lad.

00:22:20Makes him violent.

00:22:21They must be kept apart.

00:22:23If Carraskey should appear at any time Jeff is there, take Jeff away immediately.

00:22:28I understand, doctor.

00:22:29Oh, thank you, Miss Stewart, thank you.

00:22:31I knew we could depend on you.

00:22:33Goodbye.

00:22:34Goodbye.

00:22:38Schizophrenia.

00:22:38I'm not, sir.

00:22:43Bye.

00:22:44Don't pay any attention to me, Sarge.

00:22:46I got schizophrenia.

00:22:51Ah, Joyce, today you're beautiful.

00:22:54As each day passes, you become more dazzling, more radiant.

00:22:57Oh, yes.

00:22:59Yes, I brought you these flowers.

00:23:01But alongside your radiant beauty, there are but a mere handful of weeds.

00:23:06Uh, Miss Joyce will be down presently.

00:23:08Uh, won't you make yourself comfortable, sir?

00:23:09Oh, thank you.

00:23:10Thank you very much.

00:23:13But alongside your radiant beauty, there are a rare handful of weeds.

00:23:16Hi, Miss Stewart.

00:23:16Won't you accept these weeds?

00:23:17Hello, Edith.

00:23:18Very glad to see you.

00:23:19Were you looking for me?

00:23:19Uh, yes, I was at, uh, well...

00:23:22That is, I was looking for Joyce.

00:23:24I was waiting for...

00:23:25She...

00:23:26I brought her something.

00:23:27Oh, does she know you're here?

00:23:28I'll go and tell her.

00:23:29No, no, it's okay.

00:23:29She knows I'm here.

00:23:31Uh, Cyril, I...

00:23:32I've got a great favor to ask of you.

00:23:34It's something personal.

00:23:37If you know, I'd always be glad to do anything for you.

00:23:39Well, Joyce is a lovely girl, isn't she?

00:23:42Yes, she's a lovely girl.

00:23:45I...

00:23:46Well, I guess there's no sense trying to hide it from you.

00:23:49I...

00:23:50I've got it bad, and I don't know what to do about it.

00:23:53Do you think I should tell her?

00:23:56Biff, if I were you, that's just what I'd do.

00:23:58Tell her.

00:23:59You really think so?

00:24:00I really think so.

00:24:01Gee, thanks.

00:24:02Go ahead and tell her, Biff.

00:24:02Good luck.

00:24:06Thanks, Cyril.

00:24:08Sorry I kept you waiting.

00:24:11Here.

00:24:13Oh, well, thank you, Biff.

00:24:15They're...

00:24:16They're lovely.

00:24:17Uh, uh...

00:24:18Cyril's a great guy, isn't he?

00:24:20I think so.

00:24:21Let's go out on the terrace.

00:24:23We can be alone for a while.

00:24:24The other boys and girls won't be here until later.

00:24:26Oh, that...

00:24:27That's why I came early.

00:24:28I, uh...

00:24:30I've brought you something.

00:24:31Oh, no, Biff.

00:24:32I think they're just lovely, really.

00:24:33Oh, I don't mean...

00:24:34I mean the books.

00:24:36Oh, what are they?

00:24:37Well, they're poems.

00:24:38I...

00:24:39I'd like you to have them.

00:24:40I never shared them with anybody before,

00:24:42and I'd like to share them with you if you'd let me.

00:24:46Thank you very much, Biff.

00:24:48That's...

00:24:48That's terribly sweet of you.

00:24:54Ah, my good man.

00:24:55Good day.

00:24:56Good day.

00:24:57Would you be kind enough to announce Mr. S. Quentin Quayle,

00:24:59foreign correspondent extraordinaire?

00:25:01Oh, yes, yes.

00:25:02Uh, what was that name again?

00:25:04Do you mean to have the audacity to stand there

00:25:07and tell me that you've never heard of S. Quentin Quayle?

00:25:10Biff, excuse me.

00:25:11There's that poor boy.

00:25:13But enough of this nonsense, I'll announce myself.

00:25:15Mr. S. Quentin Quayle calling.

00:25:18Mr. S. Quentin...

00:25:20Joyce.

00:25:22Dear Joyce, it's so good to see you again.

00:25:25In all my wide, wide travels over this whole world,

00:25:28beauty such as yours,

00:25:29these tired eyes of mine I've never seen.

00:25:32Thank you very much.

00:25:33I'm flattered.

00:25:35Oh, I almost forgot.

00:25:37Sweets for the sweet.

00:25:38Oh, thank you again.

00:25:40Uh, won't you join us?

00:25:41We're just having a...

00:25:42Oh, hello, young man.

00:25:45Oh, I'm very sorry, but I'm not going your way.

00:25:48And speaking of going places,

00:25:50haven't you an Austin car?

00:25:51Yes, I have.

00:25:52Well, we're leaving this very minute then

00:25:53for an extensive trip of Australia.

00:25:55Just you and me stopping here, stopping there

00:25:58while I soak up some local color, among other things.

00:26:00And then off we go again,

00:26:02stopping here, stopping there.

00:26:03Oh, I'm afraid that'll be impossible.

00:26:04You see, I can't very well leave at this time.

00:26:07Have my duties at the canteen and...

00:26:09You refuse my simple request.

00:26:13I don't like it when people refuse my requests.

00:26:17It makes me very angry.

00:26:19Hello!

00:26:26Come over here.

00:26:27I want to talk to you.

00:26:29You better scream out of here.

00:26:30I'll tell them the truth about you.

00:26:32Yeah, go ahead and tell them.

00:26:33She'll throw you out of here on your ear.

00:26:34You know, this nut stuff was your idea.

00:26:36Go on, tell them.

00:26:38I'll take him driving.

00:26:40Well, the doctor says it's schizophrenia

00:26:41and I mustn't let Biff Carrasque irritate him.

00:26:43I'll get them apart.

00:26:45Don't move.

00:26:46That face.

00:26:47That face.

00:26:49That is a face, isn't it?

00:26:50Yes!

00:26:51It's a certain face.

00:26:52I'm ready to go, Mr. Quayle.

00:26:54Shall we start on our tour?

00:26:56Oh, yes, yes.

00:26:57Let's do it.

00:26:59Miss Stewart, don't...

00:27:03You take the upper thoroughfare

00:27:05and I'll take the lower thoroughfare

00:27:07and you'll be in the canine kennel before me.

00:27:16Why did you let her go out with that maniac?

00:27:18I was afraid he'd break up the house.

00:27:19What about Joyce?

00:27:20I told her to save her the velocity.

00:27:22I'd better go after her.

00:27:22I'll telephone the police.

00:27:24No, no, wait.

00:27:24Wait, Cyril.

00:27:25No, don't telephone.

00:27:28I know you're going to throw me out when you hear this,

00:27:30but Jeff Riddens is no more nuts than I am.

00:27:33I just made it up to get even with him

00:27:34for using my name when he met Joyce.

00:27:36You mean he's not crazy?

00:27:37No.

00:27:38No?

00:27:42That's a good one, that is.

00:27:47Do you wear it or ride it?

00:27:49Why, she'll love it.

00:27:50She has a great sense of humor.

00:27:52I'll let that guy steal her right out from under my nose.

00:27:56Wait, look, they'll hang out.

00:27:59Come back here, you dick.

00:28:00Double-crossing.

00:28:03Where's she taking him?

00:28:04I told her to go to the country club.

00:28:06Let's hop in my car and follow him.

00:28:07There should be a good crowd there for the showdown.

00:28:08Come on.

00:28:11What else do you see in the cup?

00:28:12I see a gorgeous girl with beautiful blue eyes.

00:28:16She's in the arms of a big, strong, handsome man.

00:28:20Well, what do you know about that?

00:28:22It's me, see?

00:28:23We're alone together on a desert island, far away from this maddening throng.

00:28:28Joycey, can't we get out of here and find that desert island?

00:28:31Why don't you like it here?

00:28:32I like it better back in the teacup.

00:28:34Can't we go someplace and just be by ourselves?

00:28:36Jeff, we just got here.

00:28:38I want you to meet some of my friends and perhaps...

00:28:40What's the matter now?

00:28:42Oh, Joyce.

00:28:44When I'm alone with you, everything's fine.

00:28:45But people, they do strange things to me.

00:28:48Jeff, please try to be yourself.

00:28:49Yeah, I wish I could.

00:28:50When I'm in a crowd like this, I start to get that feeling, that same thing.

00:28:54I start to think I'm someone else.

00:28:56Who can I be?

00:28:57Who can I be?

00:28:59No, no, quiet, precious.

00:29:01Her mother will take you out.

00:29:03Oh, Joyce, a friend of mine just came in.

00:29:05Do you mind if I say hello to him?

00:29:06Oh, not at all, Jeff.

00:29:07Oh, thank you very much.

00:29:12Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

00:29:16Excuse me.

00:29:22Well, aren't you going to say hello to my friend?

00:29:25Why?

00:29:26Yes, of course I am.

00:29:28How do you do?

00:29:30Oh, it's better.

00:29:32You know that fuzzy rascal beat me out of a blue ribbon once in Hackensack?

00:29:35I never will forgive him.

00:29:41He just barked the funniest thing I've ever heard.

00:29:43Jeff, are you trying to tell me you understand that dog?

00:29:46Why, certainly I do.

00:29:47All us dogs understand each other.

00:29:49Good afternoon, Mr. North.

00:29:53You probably find her in the trophy room, then.

00:29:55Go on in and tell her.

00:29:56We'll watch the fun through the window.

00:29:57Come on.

00:30:00Jeff, this is frightfully embarrassing.

00:30:02Everybody's looking.

00:30:03Yeah, but you didn't hear what he called me.

00:30:09Jeff, I'm afraid we're going to have to leave.

00:30:11Oh, fine.

00:30:12Oh.

00:30:14Oh.

00:30:18So you're a dog guy, yes.

00:30:19Well, I'm the dog catcher and I've got a bone to pick with you.

00:30:22Jeff, how could you do such a terrible thing to that poor boy?

00:30:24This guy's no more crazy than you are.

00:30:26He's just trying to do this to get your sympathy.

00:30:28Oh, Biff, you're wrong.

00:30:28You don't understand.

00:30:30Dr. French, your medical officer, called and explained the whole situation.

00:30:33Jeff just has to be humored.

00:30:34I'll humor him.

00:30:36Beth Carrasco, if you don't stop that instantly, I'll never speak to you again.

00:30:39I know how to handle this dog. He needs a muzzle.

00:30:41She don't believe Beth.

00:30:42This gets funnier every minute.

00:30:44Please, Jeff. I'll take him to the beach.

00:30:47It's nice and quiet there.

00:30:49Did you say the beach?

00:30:50You mean the moonlight, the stars, just we two?

00:30:53Oh, my goodness, my head's starting to feel better already.

00:30:55Uh, you'll excuse me, Beth.

00:30:57Look, I would like to ask you to come along, but you know how it is.

00:31:00I'm a one-man dog.

00:31:02Please.

00:31:03Ruff, ruff!

00:31:35Oh, it's you.

00:31:36Hey, let me in, will you?

00:31:37You try to pass me, and I'll tear you limb from limb.

00:31:40Oh, what a pal. After all I've done for you.

00:31:42You're talking about, Beep. Listen, I'm...

00:31:43Oh, listen, I can...

00:31:50Hi, it's Sergeant.

00:31:51Hey.

00:31:52Huh?

00:31:52Where's that buddy of yours?

00:31:53Uh, ridden?

00:31:54Yeah, did he pass through here?

00:31:55You mean when he was coming in or going out?

00:31:57You know what I mean. Where is he?

00:31:58Well, uh, if I know ridden, he's fast asleep in his bunk.

00:32:02Oh, he must have forgotten to check in.

00:32:04Yeah, Sergeant.

00:32:10So, he's sound asleep in his bunk, is he?

00:32:30Oh, uh, if you see a bush moving around here, don't shoot it.

00:32:34That's one of those famous Australian walking trees.

00:32:38They're very ugly.

00:32:54How'd you get over the fence?

00:32:55I flew over on the wings of love.

00:32:57Yeah, where you been all night?

00:32:59Absent without leave, but not absent without love.

00:33:02Smell that perfume, baby.

00:33:03You know, it's wonderful what sympathy you can get from a dame when she thinks you're cuckoo.

00:33:07I'll say you're cuckoo, all right.

00:33:09And I'll hit you so hard you'll be giving off time signals if you don't stop chasing my Joycey.

00:33:13Oh, but, Biff, that's not fair.

00:33:15I haven't been chasing your Joycey.

00:33:17I just looked at my arms.

00:33:18There she was.

00:33:24Oh, thanks, Biffle, pal.

00:33:26With all your faults, I love you still.

00:33:29I only did it for you because I wanted to put something over on a dopey sergeant.

00:33:32Yeah, I don't like that stinky guy either.

00:33:33He was down at the gate waiting for you, but I didn't turn you in because I wanted to save

00:33:37you for myself.

00:33:39What do you got in there, a ham?

00:33:41You know, some night I'm going to get that sergeant all alone in a nice dark alley and I'm going

00:33:45to belt him right in the nose.

00:33:48I wouldn't say that.

00:33:50He always speaks well of you.

00:33:52Yeah, he never speaks nice about anybody.

00:33:54And the only nice thing I ever heard said about him was when somebody said he was a heel.

00:33:57That guy...

00:33:58No!

00:33:59No!

00:34:02He thinks we're talking about him.

00:34:04We knew you were there all the time.

00:34:06All right, boys, wipe it off.

00:34:09Oh, I ought to get a marksmanship medal for shooting off my big mouth.

00:34:12Now, do you boys want to do the little job I'm going to pick out for you,

00:34:15or should I take you to the CO and let him pick out one for you?

00:34:17No, we'd rather do your job, sergeant.

00:34:19You've got better taste.

00:34:21Get into your utility uniforms and follow me.

00:34:28Come on, you guys.

00:34:29Get that hole cleaned out.

00:34:31Look, Sarge, we've been digging this mud for five hours.

00:34:33Rome wasn't built in a day.

00:34:35Dig!

00:34:38If you have time, Miss Stewart, I'll show you around the post.

00:34:40Oh, I'd like that very much, Colonel.

00:34:41Oh, here's Dr. French now.

00:34:43You send for me, Colonel?

00:34:44Yes, Doctor.

00:34:45Miss Stewart wants to ask you some questions about one of your patients.

00:34:47How do you do, Miss Stewart?

00:34:48How do you do, Doctor?

00:34:49I'm glad to tell you anything I can.

00:34:50Well, it's that schizophrenia case.

00:34:52Schizophrenia?

00:34:53Yes, Jeff Reardon.

00:34:55You know, the man with a split personality?

00:34:57I don't recall that.

00:34:58Well, surely you remember phoning me.

00:35:01You expressly asked me to humor him.

00:35:02Humor him?

00:35:04I'm afraid somebody's been playing a practical joke on you, Miss Stewart.

00:35:08Then you didn't call me?

00:35:11Not that I remember.

00:35:13You know, you have to look out for these fast-talking Marines.

00:35:15Isn't that so, Colonel?

00:35:16Speak for yourself, Doctor.

00:35:18Anything else, Colonel?

00:35:19No, Dr. French, that'll be all.

00:35:21It's been a pleasure, Miss Stewart.

00:35:22Thank you so very much, Doctor.

00:35:25What do you want me to do to Red and Miss Stewart?

00:35:27Put him on bread and water?

00:35:28No, thanks, Colonel.

00:35:30I'll handle it.

00:35:35That large field over there is our anti-tank range.

00:35:57That was a cute trick.

00:36:03This is the site of our new medical building.

00:36:07They tell me there's a fine spring at the bottom of this old well.

00:36:10We're going to attempt to recondition it.

00:36:12Still seems quite active, doesn't it?

00:36:15And the parade ground is over this way.

00:36:20Oh, hiding from me, huh?

00:36:22Get out of there!

00:36:34She half-enclosed me with her arms.

00:36:36She pressed me with a meek embrace and, bending back her head, looked up and gazed upon my face.

00:36:42It's a nice face, Biff.

00:36:44Oh, just a face.

00:36:46It was partly love and partly fear, and partly it was a bashful art.

00:36:51You know, Coleridge wasn't good-looking either, that long white beard.

00:36:54Being handsome isn't important.

00:36:57You don't think so, huh?

00:36:58No, of course not.

00:37:00Well, that I might rather feel than see the swelling of her heart.

00:37:06Not important to you, huh?

00:37:08What isn't?

00:37:09If a fellow's handsome.

00:37:11Not important at all.

00:37:13That's swell.

00:37:15Uh, well, what is?

00:37:18What is what?

00:37:20Important to you, and a fellow.

00:37:24Oh, character, I suppose.

00:37:26Integrity.

00:37:27Gee, you remind me of my mother.

00:37:29She didn't pick a guy for good looks, either.

00:37:31She picked him for character and integrity.

00:37:34My old man's a spitting image of me.

00:37:36Oh, Biff, you're not unattractive, and you have a great deal of charm.

00:37:40Yeah?

00:37:41Mm-hmm.

00:37:41Gee, I'm glad to hear you say that.

00:37:43It makes it a lot easier for me to ask you what I wanted to ask you.

00:37:46What did you want to ask me?

00:37:48Well, uh...

00:37:49Do you like cows?

00:37:51Cows?

00:37:52Yeah, I made some payments on a farm in Jersey, and my father's taken me to an Elsie.

00:37:59An Elsie?

00:38:00Yeah, a cow.

00:38:02Oh.

00:38:03And a pig.

00:38:03Uh-huh.

00:38:04Uh, uh, you see, the old boy worked in a coal mine most of his life, and he always wanted

00:38:10us to live in the country.

00:38:13You see what I mean?

00:38:15Well, no, I don't.

00:38:17Well, it gets kind of lonely on a farm if your wife isn't with you, and she can't be

00:38:23with you if you haven't got a wife.

00:38:25No, that's quite true.

00:38:28Well, when a fella meets a girl, and she meets him, and they both...

00:38:36Uh, yes?

00:38:38Hey, uh...

00:38:40How about it?

00:38:45Biff, is this a proposal?

00:38:48Gee, I didn't think I could do it.

00:38:51Well, you...

00:38:52You did it beautifully, and...

00:38:55I'm terribly flattered.

00:39:00But no dice, eh?

00:39:07Aha!

00:39:08What swine dares to accost my queen?

00:39:14I'll have your head, you varlets!

00:39:15I'll fall at you, you...

00:39:17Biff, let me handle this.

00:39:18You want me to throw that guy out?

00:39:19I'll take care of Mr. Reardon.

00:39:24Your Highness.

00:39:27Just who are you supposed to be tonight?

00:39:29Raleigh is the name, Sir Walter Raleigh.

00:39:31Pardon my cape, it's a bit muddy.

00:39:33I'm not amused.

00:39:35Ah, mustn't cross me, you know.

00:39:38Try being yourself, Mr. Reardon.

00:39:40I've had about enough of this.

00:39:41Mr. Reardon, huh?

00:39:43You and your schizophrenia.

00:39:45Schizo-what?

00:39:46Pretty cute trick, keeping me out half the night,

00:39:48playing on my sympathy.

00:39:49Oh, but you were wonderful.

00:39:50Treating me like a gullible child.

00:39:51Oh, I love children.

00:39:52And you're not even ashamed of yourself.

00:39:54Oh, I wouldn't say that.

00:39:55Yes, I am.

00:39:55I made myself stand in the corner all last night.

00:39:57I'm going to do it again tonight.

00:39:58What do you say we do it together?

00:40:00Oh, honestly, I think you're crazy.

00:40:02That's what I've been trying to tell you.

00:40:06You're such an idiot.

00:40:08If I could only believe you meant that.

00:40:10Oh, Jeff.

00:40:11Why did you go through all that pretense?

00:40:13Why did you feel you must act crazier than you are?

00:40:16Well, because I...

00:40:19Come on in here, I'll tell you.

00:40:20Oh, Jeff, please.

00:40:21Come on.

00:40:23Oh, there, Nellie.

00:40:25Listen, listen, love to me.

00:40:31I'll sing for you and play for you.

00:40:37I'll go some melody.

00:40:41I like you better crazy.

00:40:42Well, let's go crazy together.

00:40:44Oh, there, Nellie.

00:40:45Oh, there, Nellie.

00:40:49Poetry.

00:40:53You're right, Biff.

00:40:54It's tough.

00:40:56What's tough?

00:40:57I didn't say anything.

00:40:58Your eyes do a lot of talking.

00:41:01My eyes ought to keep their big mouth shut.

00:41:04Did you tell her?

00:41:05Yeah.

00:41:06Yeah, I told her.

00:41:07And even with the help of Coleridge.

00:41:09She turned you down, eh?

00:41:11Like an empty glass.

00:41:13Oh, I got a heck of a nerve

00:41:15expecting a queen like her to fall for a deuce like me.

00:41:18Well, cheer up, old boy.

00:41:19Perhaps tomorrow she'll...

00:41:20Oh, what chance have I got against that typhoon?

00:41:23Typhoon?

00:41:23Ah, that big bag of...

00:41:26bag of wind in there, Jeff Reardon.

00:41:29I don't think Reardon will have much chance with Joyce.

00:41:31She's a wonderful girl, isn't she?

00:41:33Wonderful.

00:41:35I've been batty about her since the first second I saw her.

00:41:38Three days ago, eh?

00:41:39Yeah.

00:41:40Yeah, 67 hours to be exact.

00:41:43With me, it's been 15 years.

00:41:46Sure, sure.

00:41:4815 years?

00:41:49What do you mean 15 years?

00:41:50I mean that I've been batty about Joyce for 15 years.

00:41:54Oh, sure.

00:41:55I mean, you're her cousin.

00:41:57No relation at all.

00:41:59My father and Dad Stewart were partners.

00:42:02When Father died, I made this my home.

00:42:03Now Mr. Stewart and I are partners.

00:42:06Holy mackerel.

00:42:07And you're stuck on Joyce?

00:42:08Batty.

00:42:11How do you like that?

00:42:12What a fine pair of chiselers Reardon and I turned out to be.

00:42:15And what a fine pad you are.

00:42:17I don't get you.

00:42:18Well, you told me to go ahead and tell her how I felt about her, didn't you?

00:42:20Of course.

00:42:21What are you trying to do, make her heavy out of me?

00:42:24Suppose she would have said yes.

00:42:25What a fine heel I would have been.

00:42:26She'd been happier with you and Biff, I think.

00:42:28Wait a minute.

00:42:29You love Joyce, don't you?

00:42:30That's right.

00:42:30Well, why don't you go in there and tell her about her?

00:42:32Why aren't you two married?

00:42:33Oh, Joyce was still in school when the war started.

00:42:36The chap doesn't go and ask a girl to marry him when he's next to the...

00:42:38Oh, that's a lot of baloney.

00:42:39Go in there and grab her before that run-down Romeo puts another notch in his gun.

00:42:45We fellas over here don't just grab girls, Biff.

00:42:48Things like that are more or less taken for granted.

00:42:50Look at him in there.

00:42:52Acting like he owned the joint.

00:42:54Bring that pretty girl high and wide.

00:43:08Look, Cyril, what you need is a coach.

00:43:10A coach?

00:43:11Yeah, me.

00:43:12I know every play in Jeffrey in his book.

00:43:14The minute he calls one, we'll nail him in his tracks.

00:43:17Come on over here.

00:43:18We'll start your training right now.

00:43:21Hey, boys, stop no dragging.

00:43:23Stand right in the red wagon.

00:43:25Stand right in the red wagon, wheels off, and the axle dragging.

00:43:32That's play number one, the square dance.

00:43:35When they go into a slow foxtrot, they'll start propositioning.

00:43:38The same old malarkey he's been using on dames from coast to coast, and it always works.

00:43:42I can hear him now.

00:43:44Relax, baby.

00:43:46Drape yourself in my arms and waltz your way to heaven.

00:43:49I know it backwards.

00:43:50Come on, let's go.

00:43:52Okay, coach.

00:43:53What do I do?

00:43:53Beat him to the punch with his own play.

00:43:55I'll tell you what to say.

00:44:03Oh, relax, baby.

00:44:05Just drape yourself in my arms and waltz your way to heaven.

00:44:09That's just dance.

00:44:12You don't mind, old boy?

00:44:14No, not at all.

00:44:22Relax, baby.

00:44:23Just drape yourself in my arms and waltz your way to heaven.

00:44:27Yes.

00:44:27If you don't mind, old man.

00:44:30Come on over here.

00:44:34What's the matter with you, Cyril?

00:44:36I've been watching you.

00:44:37You're dancing that far apart.

00:44:38Well, now come on.

00:44:39I'll show you.

00:44:40You be Joyce.

00:44:41Well, I changed a bit, haven't I?

00:44:43Never mind.

00:44:43Then I'm trying to show you.

00:44:44Ah, baby.

00:44:45What I like best about you is my arms.

00:44:48Come on.

00:44:49Put a little feeling into it.

00:44:50Get cheek to cheek.

00:44:51Closer.

00:44:51That's it.

00:44:52Oh, honey.

00:44:53Let's you and I go away for 50 years or longer, if you have time.

00:44:57Oh, Biff, dear.

00:44:58I didn't know you cared.

00:44:59Get out of here.

00:45:02You see what I mean?

00:45:04Now, go on.

00:45:04Get in there and catch.

00:45:06You know what I like about you?

00:45:08My arms.

00:45:11Look, why don't we duck away for about 50 years?

00:45:14Or longer, if you've got the time.

00:45:16May I cut in?

00:45:17Yeah, well, as a matter of fact, old man.

00:45:20Come on over here.

00:45:23You know what I like about you, baby?

00:45:25Cyril, your needle's stuck.

00:45:27That's the second time you've called me baby.

00:45:29I mean, Joyce.

00:45:30You know, I'm going to have to marry that girl.

00:45:32Who are you kidding?

00:45:34Me, my.

00:45:35Say, that's not a bad idea.

00:45:36Well, if you do, she'll be a bigamist.

00:45:38She's going to marry Cyril first.

00:45:39Cyril?

00:45:40Yeah.

00:45:41Oh, so that's the idea.

00:45:43Now you're getting smart.

00:45:44Well, tell him to get your 50s you don't.

00:45:46Save your money.

00:45:47Cyril, what is this game we're playing?

00:45:49Well, what I mean to say is, uh, why don't we duck out of here for 50 years or longer,

00:45:54if you have time?

00:45:56My turn, Cyril.

00:46:02I'm a best coach, but it doesn't seem to work.

00:46:04I can't compete with your friend and I'm darling comparison.

00:46:07Guys, I'll ask her to marry him just to cross me up.

00:46:11I'll fix him.

00:46:14You know, Joyce, I've never said this to a girl before.

00:46:17No, and you're not going to say it now.

00:46:18I'll go crawl back in the woodwork, will you?

00:46:20Oh!

00:46:21Oh!

00:46:23Just...

00:46:24Oh!

00:46:25Oh, I'm sorry, but he stepped on my foot.

00:46:27It should have been your neck.

00:46:28Perhaps you boys would like to be alone.

00:46:30Yeah, yeah.

00:46:34You know what I like about you, baby?

00:46:38Uh, what?

00:46:39My arms.

00:46:41Oh, what?

00:46:43That's Jeff's regular line, isn't it?

00:46:45Yeah, well, hey, he pulls out on all the babes.

00:46:47Why did you teach it to Cyril?

00:46:49Oh, Cyril's a great guy, soul of the earth.

00:46:51Yes.

00:46:52But you take that Jeff Reardon.

00:46:53That's an excellent suggestion.

00:46:57Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:47:04All right, Mr. Reardon, just what are you going to do?

00:47:13All right, Biff, now stop playing Cupid and move over.

00:47:17You move me over, sweetheart.

00:47:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:47:27You always were a sucker for a body block.

00:47:29So you want to play rough, huh?

00:47:39Hey, what's going on in here?

00:47:41Oh, well, we were, uh, we were just brushing up on our judo.

00:47:46Yeah, this, uh, this society life, you know, is softening.

00:47:51You know, uh, Biff, that, uh, that was very good, you know.

00:47:54Oh, thanks.

00:47:55The only thing is that you, uh, you forgot to...

00:48:01There you are.

00:48:04Ah!

00:48:18Polly wants a cracker?

00:48:20Wait a minute, wait, you're not...

00:48:21Look here, will you?

00:48:22Ooh!

00:48:24Ah!

00:48:25I think you got something in your eye, Biff.

00:48:27Yeah, this one here.

00:48:28Yeah, maybe it's a winker.

00:48:29Have you got a hand at your feet?

00:48:31Now, look, Biff, this is silly, a couple of...

00:48:33Isn't this ridiculous?

00:48:34A couple of old pals like you and me...

00:48:37All I can tell you is you're not going to get out of here.

00:48:41Oh!

00:48:47Anything wrong?

00:48:47What's the matter?

00:48:49Nobody's cutting in.

00:48:51I wonder what happened to Jeff.

00:48:54He's only a bird in a gilded cage.

00:48:58Ah!

00:48:58A beautiful sight to see.

00:49:03He's only a bird in a gilded cage.

00:49:06A beautiful sight to see.

00:49:10That bird can't get you.

00:49:12Nothing except the bawling out from the old man for disturbing his pet parrot.

00:49:16Yeah.

00:49:17And Cyril danced away with Joycey.

00:49:19Look, if you're betting on the wrong horse, that Aussie hasn't got a chance.

00:49:22I'm on the level this time.

00:49:23That love bug not only bit me, he sat down for a seven-course dinner.

00:49:26You're on the level.

00:49:27You were never on the level with a girl in your life.

00:49:30Look, Joycey's not your type, and I'm not going to stand by and see you add her to your collection

00:49:34of broken hearts.

00:49:35You don't have to worry about me breaking her heart.

00:49:37All she's waiting for is for me to slip that ring on her finger.

00:49:40Don't make me laugh.

00:49:41You couldn't get a ring out of a package of popcorn.

00:49:44Money is something I never give a second thought.

00:49:47On second thought.

00:49:52Say, fellas, you know what I've been thinking.

00:49:55Joyce Stewart's been pretty nice to us.

00:49:57Why do you say we show our appreciation for our hospitality by clubbing together and chipping in and buying a

00:50:01nice little present?

00:50:02That's a good idea.

00:50:04I'm okay with me.

00:50:05Sure, you can count on me too.

00:50:06Why, fine.

00:50:06Arky, you, and Jersey and Slim take over the financial detail.

00:50:10Get over to the recreation hall and make those guys that have been sponging on Joyce kick in.

00:50:14In the meantime, I'll order the present.

00:50:16Okay, fellas, let's get going.

00:50:19So he married the girl in the gilded cage.

00:50:24How happy can two people be?

00:50:29Come on, show up.

00:50:36All right, men.

00:50:38Listen to me.

00:50:40That notice has been on the bulletin board for four days.

00:50:43I've asked you, as nice as I know how, to come to the rehearsals for the show I'm putting on.

00:50:48Nobody shows up.

00:50:49We need cooperation.

00:50:51We need girls.

00:50:52Well, who doesn't?

00:50:53All right, all right.

00:50:55But one day, one of you guys is going to ask me a favor.

00:50:57Try and get it.

00:51:01Uh-oh.

00:51:02Well, committee, how are we doing on the collection?

00:51:04Exactly 71 pounds.

00:51:06Oh, Arky, that's not enough.

00:51:07Not near enough.

00:51:08The present I bought for Joyce cost 100 pounds.

00:51:11That's 500 bucks in our language.

00:51:13What's this about a present for Joycey?

00:51:15Oh, haven't you heard?

00:51:16How'd I miss you?

00:51:17What's it for?

00:51:18What's it for?

00:51:19What's it for, he asked.

00:51:20After all Joyce has done for us, can you ask what's it for?

00:51:23Well, what's the idea of counting me out?

00:51:24I didn't know you cared.

00:51:26Uh, how much is everybody giving?

00:51:28Well, I can truthfully say that everybody has been very, very generous.

00:51:31Of course, if you feel you can't afford it.

00:51:33Would 15 pounds be all right?

00:51:34Oh, what?

00:51:34Gee, 75 bucks.

00:51:36Is that 75 bucks?

00:51:37Nope, too late.

00:51:38Not at all, Phil.

00:51:39Oh, well, what's that 15 pounds for Joycey?

00:51:42Uh, you getting her something pretty?

00:51:44I'll say I am.

00:51:44I'm getting her exactly what she wants.

00:51:48Corporal Jim, right in here?

00:51:49Right here, my lad, right here.

00:51:50Oh, I've got a package for you, sir.

00:51:52I say you have, and I've got some money for you.

00:51:54There you are.

00:51:54Count it.

00:51:54I'm sure that you'll find it all right.

00:51:56Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but you're short 15 pounds.

00:52:0015 pounds?

00:52:01Well, how'd that happen?

00:52:02My money.

00:52:02Oh, that's right.

00:52:03I did buy the more expensive present for Joyce.

00:52:06Oh, well, what's 15 pounds at a time like this?

00:52:09That a boy.

00:52:10Take it, Pat.

00:52:11Come on, Jeff.

00:52:12Hurry up and open it up.

00:52:13Ain't nothing that little worth $500.

00:52:15Take it easy.

00:52:15Take it easy, you guys.

00:52:16You haven't seen nothing yet.

00:52:18Come on, open it up.

00:52:18Show us what you bought her.

00:52:21Gee, I wish I was a girl.

00:52:23So do I.

00:52:24That's her, honey.

00:52:27Yes, sir.

00:52:27I got her exactly what she wants.

00:52:29I wonder what she'll say when she sees that.

00:52:31Well, I don't know, Harky, but when I give it to her, I'll let you know what she says.

00:52:35You may think you're fooling these other guys, but you ain't fooling me for a minute.

00:52:39What are you talking about?

00:52:40I'm not trying to fool anybody.

00:52:41I'm going to give this ring to Joyce as a wedding present from all of us.

00:52:44And I know she'll appreciate it.

00:52:46And I can assure you that her husband-to-be thanks you very, very much for your 30 pounds.

00:52:50Now I'm going to get myself a three-day pass.

00:52:52I wonder who's running the honeymoon bureau these days.

00:52:56So long, Biff.

00:53:13Hiya, coppers.

00:53:16Oh, uh, hello, Jeff.

00:53:18Oh, hello, Biff.

00:53:19How are you?

00:53:19You're on your way at last, huh?

00:53:21Yep, there's a ticket that takes me out of this hall for three days.

00:53:24And, uh, there's a ticket that takes me to paradise.

00:53:26Three days ought to be enough for honeymoon, don't you think?

00:53:28So you're really going through with it?

00:53:29Well, sure.

00:53:30I couldn't disappoint Joycey.

00:53:32Now, Biff, you know, my only regret is that you're not going to be there to be my best man.

00:53:36After all, your financial contribution was very helpful.

00:53:39Ha!

00:53:40Well, I guess I know when I'm late.

00:53:42Lots of luck to you.

00:53:43Well, thanks, Biff.

00:53:44That's a real pal.

00:53:45Now I'll give the bride a big kiss for you.

00:53:46Oh, gee, I'd sure like to be there.

00:53:48I wish I was going with you, but...

00:53:50I've got to take the colonel's car to town.

00:53:52I'd love to give you a lift, but I can't get it started.

00:53:55You can't get the car started?

00:53:56Well, one size starting thing story of my life.

00:54:03Can't beat the battery.

00:54:04The horn works all right.

00:54:09You haven't got the ignition switch turned on.

00:54:10Oh, is that what it was?

00:54:12Hey, you guys, what are you doing?

00:54:13Come on, boys, hop in.

00:54:16Always room for six more.

00:54:17Sergeant.

00:54:20Somebody's shooting my car.

00:54:21Get after them.

00:54:22Oh, yeah, sir.

00:54:23Bring that car back.

00:54:25Hey, God, stop that car.

00:54:27Get me the main gate.

00:54:29Yes, sir.

00:54:32Stop that car.

00:54:34You men are under arrest.

00:54:35Colonel's order.

00:54:36Hey, what's coming off here?

00:54:39Why, what's the trouble, Sarge?

00:54:41You're all out of breath.

00:54:42Come on, you guys, get out of there.

00:54:43The colonel wants to see you.

00:54:46Wait a minute.

00:54:46You can't do this to me.

00:54:48Well, I've been framed.

00:54:48I'm getting married this afternoon.

00:54:50Isn't that a shame?

00:54:51Well, I guess the wedding will have to get along without you.

00:54:53My, my.

00:54:54Won't poor Joycey be disappointed?

00:54:56Oh, you cute little rascal, you.

00:54:59Ah, ah.

00:55:00Watch your split personality.

00:55:02Fall here.

00:55:04Left face.

00:55:06Forward.

00:55:07Hunch.

00:55:07Don't worry.

00:55:08I'll write Joycey a long letter.

00:55:09Explain everything.

00:55:13My dear, dear Joyce, owing to unforeseen circumstances over which we have no control,

00:55:19I wish to say that Mr. Reardon and I will have to forego the pleasure of ever seeing you

00:55:23again.

00:55:25However, I am pleased to announce that the colonel has chosen Jeff for a very important assignment

00:55:31which must remain a military secret.

00:55:34Uh-oh, dry up.

00:55:36Yeah, you burnt.

00:55:36What's coming off in here?

00:55:38Now, for the last time, any more racket in here and you both go in solitary.

00:55:42Yeah, I wish you'd put him in solitary.

00:55:43I want to be alone.

00:55:48Well, I'm going to get your wish because somehow or other I'm going to get out of here.

00:55:51You optimist.

00:55:54As I am writing this, Jeff is taking a sunbath and is in the best of spirits.

00:56:04Please tell Cyril to follow my instructions and if he does this, there is no reason why

00:56:12you and Cyril shouldn't be very happy together.

00:56:17Why, you?

00:56:18I ought to not.

00:56:21Go on, pop me.

00:56:23Hit me right on the lug just once and they'll keep you in here twice as long.

00:56:28Ah, I can see Joycey now.

00:56:31Now, the doorbell rings.

00:56:33She goes to the door.

00:56:35She opens it.

00:56:36She takes the doorknob in one hand and Cyril in the other.

00:56:40She looks up into his eyes and sighs and says,

00:56:44Ah, Cyril, my sweet, my precious, my love.

00:56:48And then she kisses him passionately on his ruby lips.

00:56:53Say, you do that great, Karaski.

00:56:55You're just the guy I need.

00:56:57How would you like to be an actress?

00:56:59What do you mean?

00:56:59Well, you know the marine follies I'm putting on, some of my cast are on sick leave, including

00:57:04my leading lady, and I need replacements.

00:57:06And the colonel has given me permission to use any of you prisoners who will volunteer.

00:57:10Nothing doing.

00:57:11No, nothing doing.

00:57:12Why don't you do it yourself?

00:57:14How about you, Biff?

00:57:15Me play a dame.

00:57:16Oh, no dice.

00:57:17Goes for me, too.

00:57:18Well, if that's the way you feel about it.

00:57:20But we're rehearsing at the Royal Theatre, and there's a nice little restaurant right around

00:57:24the corner.

00:57:25Oh, uh, say, Sergeant, where is that Royal Theatre?

00:57:29Downtown, right in the heart of Sydney.

00:57:31Well, count me in.

00:57:31I'd love to be a chorus girl.

00:57:32Oh, that's the way to talk.

00:57:34You'll be out of the brig all day.

00:57:36Well, what are we waiting for?

00:57:37Let's go.

00:57:37Are you coming too, Biff?

00:57:38Why, I never had any other intention.

00:57:41Jeff and I are practically inseparable.

00:57:43That's great.

00:57:43Come on, gang.

00:57:46You have to follow me everywhere I go.

00:57:48I'm going to stick to you if I have to follow you to the end of the world.

00:57:51Well, I'm going farther than that, Biff, because when Joyce is in my arms, I'm proud

00:57:55of this world.

00:57:58Hey, hey, hey, Sarge.

00:58:00Wait for your leading lady.

00:58:03Hey, you on the spot.

00:58:05Keep it on the leading woman all the time, and don't wiggle it around.

00:58:08Hey, Birch.

00:58:09Well, remember those guys in the dressing rooms are all prisoners, and I don't want

00:58:13them sneaking out of here, so keep them covered.

00:58:14Okay, Sarge.

00:58:16Take a deep breath, Biff.

00:58:19Hey, Archie.

00:58:20How'd you get roped in this thing?

00:58:22I can't get a dame, so might as well play one.

00:58:25What a war.

00:58:26I come over here to wear a uniform, not a girdle.

00:58:29This thing is too tight.

00:58:30What are you worrying about?

00:58:32Everything's overcrowded in Australia these days.

00:58:34Hey, Archie.

00:58:36You got your figure in reverse.

00:58:38Oh, well, I always was a backward girl.

00:58:44Holy mackerel.

00:58:46All ready, boys?

00:58:48Now, look.

00:58:49We're going to have a nice dress rehearsal.

00:58:51Oh, I know you're tired, but remember, you're doing this for me.

00:58:55Oh, yeah.

00:58:56So, come on, boys.

00:58:58Get on your toes.

00:58:59Make it real good this time.

00:59:01Hey, when do we eat?

00:59:02Well, now, that's up to you.

00:59:04Give me your nice dress rehearsal, and we'll eat in that swell little restaurant right around the corner.

00:59:08And, Sergeant, where do we sleep?

00:59:11Right back in the break.

00:59:12Uh-huh.

00:59:13And if you don't give me a good dress rehearsal, you're going to be here all night.

00:59:18And you, Biff.

00:59:19I want you to put everything you've got into it.

00:59:22Look, Sergeant, if I put any more into it, I'll bust.

00:59:25I...

00:59:25Oh, what's the sense of being nice to you, Muggs?

00:59:27You don't appreciate it anyway.

00:59:29Get those things on and get out of here.

00:59:35I don't know why we're rehearsing.

00:59:36I just heard that all leaves are being canceled.

00:59:39Do you suppose we're shoving off?

00:59:40Ah, just another one of them rumors.

00:59:42Ah, yeah?

00:59:43The last time somebody rumored, we wound up in a nice foxhole of nothing to do but shoot Japs all

00:59:48day long.

00:59:49You'd rather be doing that than this, wouldn't you?

00:59:51I've done a lot of things, but this is the doggonest job I ever had.

00:59:58Ow!

01:00:02All right, wise guy, hold through that.

01:00:05I'll take that.

01:00:07You ain't going nowhere, Sridan.

01:00:09I never saw him before.

01:00:12All right, boys, get ready.

01:00:24I've got love.

01:00:26Plenty of love.

01:00:27Enough to go around.

01:00:31Yet I'm so melancholy.

01:00:33I'm gonna buy a paper dolly.

01:00:37I've got time, plenty of time, for lips I've never tasted.

01:00:43So I feel bad, and it makes me mad, when I think of time that's wasted.

01:00:52I've got two eyes.

01:00:55I've got two eyes.

01:00:56Picture me if you can.

01:01:00All dressed up with love in my heart.

01:01:03All I need is a man.

01:01:13All I need is a man.

01:01:17All I need is a man.

01:01:21I've got the moon.

01:01:22I've got the star.

01:01:24by preaching you a sermon, but you can't tell that war is well.

01:01:31I'm only quoting General Sherman, here am I, dreams to share, dreams without any plans, all dressed up with love

01:01:45in my heart.

01:01:46All I need is a man, Mary's in Hawaii, he's been gone a year, Alice in Alaska, so I shed

01:01:56a tear, Charlie's gone to China to get himself a jab.

01:02:00If I want a break, I've got to make a trip around the map.

01:02:03Bill has gone to Burma, so the letters say.

01:02:07Hold it!

01:02:07Hold everything!

01:02:10There's that chorus girl missing.

01:02:12Topple, there's only six girls here.

01:02:13Where's the seventh girl?

01:02:14I don't know, Sarge.

01:02:15She was here a minute ago.

01:02:15Well, she's not here now.

01:02:16Find out who's missing.

01:02:17Ridge.

01:02:18That's what I thought.

01:02:19Come on.

01:02:21Hey, Sarge.

01:02:23Well, what's wrong with you?

01:02:25I was slugged, Sarge.

01:02:27Oh, you were slugged.

01:02:28Who slugged you?

01:02:28I think it was a dame.

01:02:30You numbskull, that was no dame.

01:02:31That was Jeff Ridd.

01:02:36Hey, Birch.

01:02:38I'll go out and find Ridd and bring him back.

01:02:40Right away, Sarge.

01:02:40I told you guys to keep in color.

01:02:43All right, let's run through it again without that guy.

01:02:45You ready, Biff?

01:02:46Now, where's Biff?

01:02:48I just went out to powder his nose.

01:02:49Oh, he did, huh?

01:02:56Well, what's wrong with you now?

01:02:58The leading lady slugged me.

01:03:01How do you like that?

01:03:02Hello.

01:03:03Hello, is this the Stewart residence?

01:03:05I'd like to speak to Miss Stewart, please.

01:03:07This is Jeff Ridd.

01:03:08Well, hello, old boy.

01:03:10I'm afraid Joyce is much too busy to come to the phone.

01:03:12Look, this is urgent.

01:03:14Well, if it's urgent, you'll have to come out here and stand in line because she's selling kisses.

01:03:18She's selling kisses?

01:03:20Yes, we're holding a charity bazaar.

01:03:22At present, Joyce is 100 pounds behind, and I've got to go back and help her fill up her quota.

01:03:27Carver, be a good fellow, will you?

01:03:28This is very important.

01:03:29Will you call Miss Stewart to the phone?

01:03:31You'll excuse me if I hang up, won't you?

01:03:33I've never had so much pleasure kissing my money goodbye.

01:03:37I'll be right up.

01:03:41Hey.

01:03:43Hey, give me your power pants.

01:03:45Madam, I think you're in the wrong store.

01:03:46There's a lady's lingerie shop just across the street.

01:03:54May I use your phone?

01:03:56Certainly, madam.

01:03:56Just over there.

01:03:58Do you happen to know the number of the Stewart residence, Cyril North?

01:04:01Oh, yes.

01:04:02He's one of my best customers.

01:04:03I think it's Warunga 1521.

01:04:05Warunga 1521.

01:04:13You on my way, girlie?

01:04:15No, no, thank you.

01:04:15I'm walking home from a ride now.

01:04:18Where did this come from?

01:04:19The lady who wanted pants must have lifted.

01:04:21Where'd she go?

01:04:21She left rather hurriedly through that door.

01:04:23I'll tell you what I'll do.

01:04:24I'll change my mind if you promise me you won't get fresh.

01:04:26Now you're getting some sense, baby.

01:04:29Oh, you're so strong.

01:04:41All I know is one of them asked me for the telephone number of the Stewart residence.

01:04:44Where is the Stewart residence?

01:04:45We know where it is, boss.

01:04:47A lot of the gang's been entertained there.

01:04:48Go back to the theater and pick up a car.

01:04:59Oh, you funny, funny man.

01:05:01That last story just killed me.

01:05:04Thank you so much.

01:05:04I'd like to see you again, baby.

01:05:06What's your telephone number?

01:05:07Oh, just call me any time at, uh, Oddmore.

01:05:10Eight, two, three, one, two.

01:05:12And if a man answers, hang up.

01:05:16My, what the war has done to our women.

01:05:25Good evening, I guess.

01:05:27Alfred, how nice.

01:05:28I'm glad you brought Lady Treppy.

01:05:30You mean that you're glad I brought my checkbook?

01:05:33You'll find a pen in every booth.

01:05:37Good evening.

01:05:38How do you do?

01:05:40We've met, haven't we?

01:05:41Oh, now, don't you pretend you've forgotten, you wicked old fox.

01:05:45Oh, no, I haven't forgotten.

01:05:47Oh, I was sure you hadn't.

01:05:49And where is that charming daughter of yours, Joyce?

01:05:51I must see the dear girl.

01:05:53You know, I was her French teacher at Stanford when she was in America.

01:05:56Oh, yes, of course.

01:05:57Well, look for the booth with the most men around it, and you'll find Joyce selling kisses.

01:06:02Hello, Angus.

01:06:03I want you to meet Colonel Hart of the United States Marine Corps.

01:06:05Welcome, Colonel.

01:06:06This charming lady is from your country, too, I believe.

01:06:08Miss Higginbottom.

01:06:10Gwendolyn T. Higginbottom.

01:06:12Now, if you boys will excuse me, I must crush along.

01:06:14I don't want Joyce to sell Oliver kisses, you know.

01:06:17I must say, Hart, they build them tall in your country.

01:06:20Two shillings, please.

01:06:26Oh, that's what comes from wearing slacks.

01:06:37Oh, just to keep the change.

01:06:44I help you not hurt, dearie.

01:06:46I help you out.

01:06:48Thanks, pal.

01:06:54It looks like a blooming pretzel.

01:07:02Good evening, madam.

01:07:03Is there something wrong?

01:07:05Oh, no, I ran out of gas, and I was late, so I hurried.

01:07:09Oh, by the way, did a tall brunette in a pink dress come in in the last few minutes?

01:07:14Gwendolyn Higginbottom.

01:07:15She's in the chamber of horror.

01:07:17Thank you, you dear boy.

01:07:22Angus, who is that?

01:07:23Less of an old.

01:07:24But then the strange people come to bazaars up.

01:07:28Hello, Gwendolyn.

01:07:29Go away, Mother.

01:07:30I'm going to be very late.

01:07:32I'll mother you.

01:07:34Shh, Ixley.

01:07:35The colonel's right over there.

01:07:36Yeah, we're AWOL.

01:07:37It's blah.

01:07:38Not me, not me.

01:07:39I'm here to put this ring on Joyce's finger.

01:07:41And I'm here to hang it on your nose.

01:07:43Oh, Carice, you slay me!

01:07:47Oh, look at me!

01:07:59What, again?

01:08:00I haven't even started.

01:08:01This is only the fifth.

01:08:02At a pound of kiss, you're going to be bankrupt.

01:08:05Well, let's speed the disaster.

01:08:06Here's a hundred pounds.

01:08:07Uh-uh.

01:08:07This is strictly retail.

01:08:08You'll have to get back in line and wait your turn.

01:08:10Oh, you'd think that an old customer would be entitled to a few special privileges.

01:08:17Uh, next.

01:08:20Here?

01:08:21Yes.

01:08:22Oh, uh, young lady.

01:08:24Uh, uh.

01:08:25Oh.

01:08:26Would you mind telling Miss Stewart that her father wants to see her in the library right

01:08:29away?

01:08:29Why, yes, of course.

01:08:30Oh, thank you.

01:08:48Joyce, I'd like to have you meet Colonel Harper of the United States Marines.

01:08:51How do you do, Colonel?

01:08:52How do you do, Miss Stewart?

01:08:55Hey, bud.

01:08:56A couple of our men are missing.

01:08:58A tall brunette and a blonde about my height.

01:08:59Do you mind if we come in and look for him?

01:09:01Mr. Stewart is in the library.

01:09:02You can go in and ask his permission.

01:09:04Thanks.

01:09:05Stay with the door, Birch.

01:09:11Cyril.

01:09:13I'm sorry.

01:09:14I don't think I've had the pleasure.

01:09:15You mean you don't recognize me?

01:09:16I'm Biff Karansky.

01:09:18Biff?

01:09:19Where did you get that outfit?

01:09:20Why the camouflage?

01:09:21Never mind that.

01:09:22Now, Reardon's here dressed up like a dame like me, and he's going to propose to Joyce.

01:09:26Oh, that's quite a coincidence.

01:09:27I had the same intention.

01:09:29Come on.

01:09:29We've got to go into action fast.

01:09:34Were you looking for someone, dear?

01:09:35Oh, yes.

01:09:36I was looking.

01:09:37Come on.

01:09:37If we don't get out of here, we'll get caught with our pants down.

01:09:40Oh, I beg your pardon, my dear, but would you loan me your compact?

01:09:44Why, certainly, my dear.

01:09:45I'm not sure if it's the right shape.

01:09:47Oh, I'm quite sure it'll serve my purpose just fine.

01:09:50Thank you very much.

01:09:53Thank you, my dear.

01:09:54He's so ugly, you have to spray it on.

01:09:57Joyce.

01:10:01Give me your handkerchief, Cyril.

01:10:03Who's been kissing you?

01:10:04The sweetest girl in the world.

01:10:06It cost me five pounds, but it was worth it.

01:10:08Has Biff been coaching you again?

01:10:09No.

01:10:10This is entirely my own idea.

01:10:12That last kiss did something to me.

01:10:13It certainly did.

01:10:15You know, you've really come out of your shell lately.

01:10:17Well, only a nut would stay in its shell.

01:10:19I'm out of mine for keeps.

01:10:20Joyce, I want to tell you something.

01:10:22For the past 15 years...

01:10:25Good heavens, what's this?

01:10:26Why, she's fainted.

01:10:28Oh, you better get a doctor.

01:10:29Oh, no, I can take care of it, Cyril.

01:10:30Just, I'll loosen her corset.

01:10:32Go and get some smelling sauce, will you?

01:10:33I think you'll find them in the guest room.

01:10:34Right.

01:10:41Jeff, is this another of your practical jokes?

01:10:43Oh, darling, you don't know what I went through to get here.

01:10:45Oh, this corset's killing me.

01:10:47Why the masquerade?

01:10:48But it's the only way I could see you.

01:10:49I had to get here, Joyce.

01:10:50I love you.

01:10:52I love you, Joyce.

01:10:54I love...

01:10:56Oh, Jeff, stop that.

01:10:58Jeff, is something wrong?

01:11:00No, no, I think he's coming out of it all right now.

01:11:02I mean, I can take care of it.

01:11:04Thank you so much, Cyril.

01:11:07Oh, you've got to listen to me.

01:11:11Jeff, stop.

01:11:12You're getting lipstick all over my face.

01:11:14Here's the smelling sauce, Mr. North.

01:11:15Thanks very much.

01:11:16Have you seen Jeff?

01:11:17I think I finally got rid of him all right.

01:11:18He's up here somewhere.

01:11:19Excuse me, Biff.

01:11:20A lady just fainted.

01:11:21Has she got a beard?

01:11:22Beard?

01:11:23How could you get married in an outfit like that?

01:11:25Well, about all I need is a bridal veil.

01:11:27Oh!

01:11:29Oh!

01:11:30Is she better?

01:11:31Well, I can't tell.

01:11:32She's still a little delirious, you know.

01:11:34Look, I know just what she needs.

01:11:35You two just run along and don't worry about her face.

01:11:38Oh, no, no, no.

01:11:38No way, Cyril.

01:11:39That's a very good friend.

01:11:40That's a good boy.

01:11:44Breathe deep.

01:11:46Breathe.

01:11:49Do you feel better, dear?

01:11:51That was a fine trick for you to pull.

01:11:53Next time you want to pull a faint, consult me first.

01:11:55I got just the thing I'll do the job.

01:11:56You can't.

01:11:59I remember you're a lady.

01:12:00So you want to play rough, huh?

01:12:02Do you feel better now, dear?

01:12:04Oh, no, no.

01:12:06The pain has settled in my shoulder.

01:12:08Oh, but your makeup.

01:12:09Come, we'll fix it now, dear.

01:12:11Oh, you're so kind.

01:12:13Oh, I know exactly how you feel.

01:12:15I've had three of my own.

01:12:17And don't you worry about a thing.

01:12:19We'll fix you right up.

01:12:21Well, that's fair and nylon.

01:12:25Oh, I think I'd prefer it in the air outside.

01:12:29Oh, no, no, no.

01:12:30Sit right down here and I'll fix you up.

01:12:32Oh, Joyce.

01:12:33That dizzy dame that just fainted was Jeff.

01:12:36What?

01:12:36Now's your chance.

01:12:37Go on and get Joyce.

01:12:38Well, I can't go in there, huh?

01:12:40Well, well, I can.

01:12:42Get out of the way.

01:12:43Oh, thank you very much, my dear.

01:12:46You've been very, very sweet, Shorty.

01:12:49Joyce.

01:12:49Oh, I'll take care of her now, dear.

01:12:51She so depends on me for everything.

01:12:53Do you mind?

01:12:55No, of course not.

01:12:56Thank you again.

01:12:57Do you feel better, Gwendolyn, my pet boy?

01:13:00Oh, yes, my sweet.

01:13:02I just feel wonderful.

01:13:02Oh, won't you have one of these?

01:13:04Oh, thank you.

01:13:08Congratulations.

01:13:09I do hope you're not too worried.

01:13:11Well, things are a little hectic, yes.

01:13:13Is this your first marriage?

01:13:14Well, as far as I know it is.

01:13:17Oh, all you ladies are talking.

01:13:19Oh, thank you so much for your kindness, but really, I don't think we should discuss

01:13:24it anymore in front of Joyce.

01:13:27Why not?

01:13:28What?

01:13:28It's high time Joyce married and settled down.

01:13:31What about it, child?

01:13:33Maybe sooner than you think.

01:13:34You're engaged?

01:13:35Well, not exactly, but it may happen tonight.

01:13:39Someone we know?

01:13:40Someone very close to you, Aunt Agatha.

01:13:42Oh, my dear.

01:13:45Hey, Art, you hear that, Porky?

01:13:47Remind me to invite you to the wedding.

01:13:49If you come as you are, I might work you in as one of the bridesmaids.

01:13:52It's sad, so well, let me, let me tell you something.

01:13:55Let me tell you something.

01:13:59No!

01:14:00No!

01:14:00She'll be hurt!

01:14:02No!

01:14:03Can't I do anything?

01:14:05Shall we call her doctor?

01:14:06Oh, no, no, she gets these spells quite often.

01:14:08If you just leave us alone, I'll have her on our feet in no time.

01:14:11Run along, girls.

01:14:12Just run along.

01:14:13I don't think I want to call her doctor.

01:14:15I don't think I need you.

01:14:16Just relax, Gwendolyn.

01:14:17Remember, you have an owner yourself to think of.

01:14:27There's one of them right here.

01:14:29There's one of them right here.

01:14:31Everybody is right here.

01:14:33Run!

01:14:38Mice!

01:14:39Mice!

01:14:41Mice!

01:14:43Mice!

01:14:44Mice!

01:14:45Mice!

01:14:46Mice!

01:14:47Oh, my God!

01:14:54Go that way!

01:14:58Push eggs, please!

01:15:00Thank you!

01:15:03Hey, if I get my hands on those two guys, I'll tear them apart.

01:15:06Say, listen, lady.

01:15:07We can't let them get away.

01:15:09You come with me, you surround the house.

01:15:10Who, me?

01:15:11Come on!

01:15:15Thanks, pal.

01:15:19Come on, the front door's clear.

01:15:20Not me.

01:15:21I told you I'm going to put a ring on Joyce's finger.

01:15:23Over my dead body.

01:15:24That's good enough for me.

01:15:25Push eggs, please!

01:15:25Please?

01:15:31You're just coming.

01:15:32You're taking the house.

01:15:36Where'd you go?

01:15:37Paul, are you sure you're all right?

01:15:39I'm sure you're sure.

01:15:40Where'd he go?

01:15:40Oh, break me back.

01:15:44Oh!

01:15:46Uh, I beg your pardon.

01:15:48Did you see them?

01:15:51They went through this way.

01:15:53I know they're in there.

01:15:54Come on.

01:16:03Ha-ha, gotcha.

01:16:13Wait a minute, you.

01:16:14I've had enough of this.

01:16:15We're getting out of here.

01:16:16Not until I see Joyce.

01:16:20Uh-oh, no bridge.

01:16:25Wait a minute, you.

01:16:27Wait a minute.

01:16:27The gate's over this way, Gwendolyn.

01:16:29Yeah, and I hope you get it.

01:16:31Oh, well, you asked for it.

01:16:33Hey, Sarge, we're over here.

01:16:35Hey, Sarge!

01:16:43Where are you guys?

01:16:45Yellow!

01:16:46I should have left one of you guys at that gate.

01:16:48Come on.

01:16:49Come on.

01:16:56Oh, but I'm certain I'm right, Cyril.

01:16:58I don't know why I didn't see it sooner.

01:17:00But are you quite sure in your mind that he's the right man for you, Joyce?

01:17:04Quite sure.

01:17:05In my mind and in my heart.

01:17:08You don't think you're being influenced by the glamour of his uniform?

01:17:11Oh, no.

01:17:12Of course, he's very handsome in his uniform, but I love him in overalls, too.

01:17:17And you're sure he'll be able to make you happy?

01:17:19He is my happiness.

01:17:20Yes.

01:17:21No man's perfect, you know.

01:17:22You think you know his fault?

01:17:24Know them, love them, and I'll spend a lifetime correcting them.

01:17:28And you've certainly made up your mind.

01:17:30I certainly have.

01:17:32Hold it!

01:17:33Hold it, Joycey.

01:17:35Hold it.

01:17:35Save the rest of it for me.

01:17:36And I want you to know you made me the happiest man in the whole world.

01:17:38Yeah, I guess I'm the world's worst heel.

01:17:41I'm sorry.

01:17:42I wouldn't have butted in if I'd known how you felt about this love.

01:17:45Oh, of course it's kind of tough on you, old boy.

01:17:47But, well, when a small girl like Joyce turns on her glamour, somebody's got to get hurt.

01:17:51Yeah, I guess I gave you a bum steer, Cyril.

01:17:54Look, if you want to take a sock at me, go ahead.

01:17:57What are you boys talking about?

01:17:58Well, we overheard you telling Cyril how you felt about Jeff.

01:18:02Yeah.

01:18:02Jeff?

01:18:03You're outside there.

01:18:03But I wasn't.

01:18:04No, I mustered up enough courage to ask Joyce to marry me, and she said yes.

01:18:08Just playing the big brother as usual.

01:18:10Wanted me to be sure I'd pick the right man.

01:18:12Thanks for the coaching, coach.

01:18:14Holy back.

01:18:15I know it's kind of tough on you, old boy,

01:18:17but when a swell girl like Joyce turns on the glamour, someone's got to get hurt.

01:18:21Oh, yeah, sure.

01:18:21Jeff, you've got a ring.

01:18:23You didn't really...

01:18:25Oh, you mean that?

01:18:27Oh, no.

01:18:29Silly girl.

01:18:30No, this is just a little thing that the fellas down the barracks chipped in for.

01:18:34You know, kind of a token of our appreciation.

01:18:37You can thank Biff for most of it.

01:18:39He got hurt.

01:18:40Yeah, that Australian currency confuses me.

01:18:42I didn't have any money myself at the time.

01:18:45That is.

01:18:46Very beautiful.

01:18:48Thank you so much.

01:18:49Will you thank the other boys for me, too?

01:18:51Yeah, yeah, sure, sure we will.

01:18:53Oh, I guess congratulations are in order.

01:18:55Yeah, congratulations.

01:18:56Thank you, boy.

01:18:56I hope the first one's a girl.

01:18:57He loves girls.

01:18:58Always did.

01:18:59And it's goodbye, too, you know.

01:19:01We won't be seeing you folks again.

01:19:02Why not?

01:19:03Well, the colonel wants us to hang around the camp, you know.

01:19:06Yeah, we'll probably be shoving off in a few days.

01:19:09I'm going to miss you both.

01:19:12Goodbye.

01:19:14Good luck.

01:19:15Thanks very much, sir.

01:19:16Oh, you don't mind if I keep the box, do you?

01:19:18I might find something someplace that I could put in it for somebody.

01:19:21He will, too.

01:19:23See you out there, covers.

01:19:24What a pair.

01:19:26Six months in the jungle, a guy loses his type.

01:19:28Well, cheer up, pal.

01:19:29Maybe another babe will come along.

01:19:30I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:19:32Are you girls going our way?

01:19:34I was about to stroll along the billy bones.

01:19:38Nope.

01:19:44Gosh, these Australian Daves sure bag a wallop.

01:19:48No wonder their men can fight.

01:20:02What a world.

01:20:03A couple of Daves can't walk down the street

01:20:05while I have a lot of wolves whistling at them.

01:20:16I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:19I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:20I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:21I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:22I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:23I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:25I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:26I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:27I'll let you try to save me from her.

01:20:30I'll let you try to save me from her.

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