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00:00Did you see the light, the police light, going, Mary?
00:03Do you know where the binoculars are?
00:05I'm going to get in the car and take a closer look.
00:07Oh, you're such an awful ghoul.
00:08Sorry, Mary, it's not a...
00:09You're like an onlooker at a motorway crash.
00:12Sorry, it's not every day you've got police rummaging through ex-politician's drawers.
00:20No!
00:22What an entrance!
00:24I'm living for this!
00:25Taser in!
00:26We had a lot of talk like this all the time.
00:28I don't think so.
00:29Yay!
00:30Oh, here we go.
00:31What is that?
00:32Oh, shut up.
00:34This doesn't look real.
00:35I don't think it is.
00:36A framboisier.
00:37What's a framboisier?
00:39Oh, I knew it!
00:40No!
00:41This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
00:42It does?
00:42Why is it dodgy?
00:43This is going to go down so badly.
00:46None of us learn, do we?
00:49I hate you!
00:51Must remember that, bellend.
00:52This is what everyone came for.
00:55The alarm bells are ringing with me, Mary.
00:57Lisa nipples are covered.
00:58Yeah, it's half the battle.
01:00In the week we bid a fond farewell to Dawson's Creek legend, James Van Der Beek, we enjoyed lots of
01:07great telly.
01:09The flirting in fancy dress continued on Netflix.
01:13Are you in need of assistance?
01:14It is a slippery little thing and I cannot find my valet.
01:16May I?
01:29You chased me pretty hard.
01:31Let's face it, darling.
01:32You flew the whole way to Mexico.
01:34You didn't really know me that well.
01:36That was...
01:37I was your Cinderella, wasn't I?
01:39I mean...
01:40I mean, I'm not the best example of Cinderella.
01:44Slightly bigger shoe.
01:46There is an argument that maybe that is the case.
01:49There is an argument.
01:50Look, you're flushing, darling.
01:54Guy Martin had all his tools out on Channel 4.
01:58Revealing where the leaks are requires a smoke gun.
02:04And you can see the smoke on the outside.
02:06Look at that.
02:07That's mad to look, yeah.
02:08There's some middle-aged men out there watching this and absolutely loving it.
02:15They've ordered a smoke gun off Amazon.
02:17They're going round every single window.
02:20They've got the smart meter in hand.
02:21And they're in their element.
02:24It is a very middle-aged man programme, this, isn't it?
02:26Yeah, getting aggy about the heating bill.
02:28That's what happens when you're a man over 35.
02:32And it was touch and go for the PM on BBC News.
02:35The Prime Minister has just arrived in Parliament
02:39to address his backbench MPs after a febrile day
02:43which saw the leader of the Scottish Labour Party call for him to resign.
02:46Do you know what the Prime Ministership reminds me of?
02:50Like the Manchester United manager, you know,
02:53you have a streak of bad games, you get canned.
02:56Yeah.
02:56That's how it goes.
02:58We're searching for our Alex Ferguson.
03:00Yeah.
03:07In North London...
03:09Amira, what the hell are you doing right now?
03:12Huh?
03:12Are you being serious?
03:13What are you doing?
03:14Sisters Amira and Amani.
03:17I'm growing out hairs, man.
03:19I need to take care of it.
03:20I'm in between appointments right now.
03:23So I have to do something about it.
03:26I can actually see your hair from over here.
03:28No, don't, Amani, please.
03:31I'm already self-conscious about it.
03:32I can see the shadow of you.
03:35On Tuesday night,
03:37a bunch of strangers began a big climb up a mountain on ITV1.
03:41I'm going to sneeze.
03:44God bless you.
03:51I've climbed something before.
03:53I can't even remember what it's called,
03:55but I wasn't prepared for that.
03:56All I had in the backpack for myself was the Galaxy Ribble.
04:00Fourteen ordinary Brits.
04:02Hey, don't ask that please.
04:03Let's go.
04:04Who have never climbed a mountain before.
04:06Oh, never done it.
04:08So they're not even experienced at it.
04:10No.
04:10Who's got what it takes...
04:12Oh, I can't move.
04:14Come on.
04:15...to reach the summit.
04:17How did Taril?
04:19Where's Taril?
04:19It's Somerset.
04:21What mountains have you climbed?
04:22I mean, I've done no...
04:23I haven't admittedly climbed any mountains.
04:25I did trek a very long way in Peru at a high altitude.
04:28You went on the train with your mother.
04:33The summit.
04:35There must be summits wrong with you if you bloody go on this.
04:39How high is Troy Hill?
04:42Troy Hill is five feet ten inches.
04:45What?
04:46That's the wrong hill.
04:48That's the wrong hill.
04:50Welcome, everyone.
04:52Your goal is to reach the summit of that mountain behind me.
04:58Woo!
04:59Right, hang on.
04:59Are they going to make them climb that?
05:02You've got a deadline of just 14 days to reach the top.
05:07No, count me out.
05:08And as it gets higher up, you get poolier and poolier, because you can't breathe, because
05:12you're closer to the sun.
05:13Morning, everyone!
05:16How do we all sleep?
05:17After camping out, the group were preparing for another day of hiking.
05:22Is there a glove out here anywhere?
05:24One of my gloves has randomly gone missing.
05:25One of my gloves has randomly gone missing.
05:27Aki, you've lost it.
05:29Dockers!
05:29Oh, no!
05:30Dockers, is that yours?
05:32Oh, God, that's...
05:33Where was that?
05:35Literally on the fire.
05:36What?
05:37Who's put the glove on the fire?
05:38Isn't that worse when your glove gets put on the fire?
05:40I didn't have any gloves out here last night.
05:43Yeah, you did.
05:44You had both pairs of gloves out.
05:45Oh, here we go, here we go.
05:47It's started.
05:47Tension is rising in the camp, Mary.
05:50Well, when people are tired and hungry and probably haven't been able to go to the loo,
05:54and their clothes are chafing...
05:56I didn't have any gloves.
05:57Out here last night.
05:59Pretty sure you did.
06:00You're calling me a liar now, yeah?
06:02Straight away he gets confrontational.
06:04Are you calling me a liar?
06:06The gloves are off now, Julie.
06:08I'm not saying you're a liar.
06:10I think Dockers seems to be a bit of a hothead.
06:12You've got to watch out for him.
06:13Put a sock in it, Dockers.
06:15His game plan is try and be the alpha, be the big dog.
06:18I don't need that.
06:20No, you're right.
06:21No one does need that.
06:22Thomas is very good at reading people.
06:24Oh, yeah.
06:24Well, if I was Dockers, I'd be curving that attitude.
06:28Right then, guys.
06:29So I think what we should do is kind of head towards the mountain.
06:33That's good strategy, that is.
06:35What we should do is just kind of head towards the top of the mountain.
06:38Who's with me?
06:39Every time Tom speaks, it goes through my veins.
06:42It makes me cringe.
06:44He is the most annoying creature I've ever met.
06:47Oh, creature?
06:48Dockers, wow.
06:50This is going to be a long 14 days.
06:52Goodness me.
06:53I can tell you, look, they're struggling already.
06:55A bit later, with the team making their way across a rickety old bridge.
06:59Nice and steady.
07:03Oh, bloody hell.
07:04It's wonky as hell.
07:06Oh, no.
07:06That's the thing of your nightmares, that, isn't it?
07:08Yeah, that's what my nightmares are made of.
07:10There was a twist in the tale.
07:12Your first decision as a group has come sooner than you think.
07:15What could this be?
07:16You must choose someone to be the last to cross.
07:18No.
07:19When that person's on the bridge, you must take the axe and cut the rope.
07:23They've got to eliminate somebody.
07:25Guys, I think there's only one person.
07:28No!
07:28He's going to say Tom.
07:30Tom.
07:31Tom.
07:32Oh!
07:34He hates Tom, doesn't he?
07:35This morning, he called me a liar.
07:37He's got to go.
07:38This morning, he called me a liar.
07:39He called me a liar.
07:41And I think he burnt my glove.
07:43Go on, Tom, you've got this.
07:49This is awful.
07:50It's not nice.
07:52It's not nice, is it?
07:54Right, down, down.
07:57Oh, my God.
07:58Oh, the axe is coming out.
08:03Oh, no!
08:08You're joking!
08:10That's fucking ruthless.
08:12Tom kept trying to be an alpha male.
08:13He kept challenging me.
08:15And he had to go.
08:17And I'm the one that has made that happen.
08:20Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
08:22I suppose one good thing about being in a gay relationship,
08:24there's not much toxic masculinity here.
08:27Zero toxic masculinity going on in this house.
08:31Oh, my God.
08:34In Leeds.
08:35Izzy, I've done something today that I've been meaning to do for six months.
08:40What?
08:41I've washed my mucky shoes.
08:43What?
08:43Them ones under the caravan?
08:45Them ones that were under the caravan, yeah.
08:47No.
08:48And do you know all I did?
08:49What?
08:49I just put them in a washing machine.
08:52Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:54I thought, I'll break my washing machine rather than wash them by hand.
08:59That is literally you.
09:01Nat gets fuming with me over what I put in a washing machine.
09:04Well, yeah, you were telling me about them chicken mats
09:07that you actually really nearly did break your washing machine.
09:09Is he still going on about that?
09:12It's a stones and straw riddened mats and you put them in a washing machine.
09:17I've opened your dishwasher and found a pair of sliders before.
09:22Work's smarter, not harder, Izzy.
09:25On Tuesday night, problematic pooches were being put right on Channel 5.
09:31Who's a clever sausage?
09:33Oh, please.
09:35Did you hear that?
09:37I'm scared that it's going to come for me.
09:39No!
09:41I don't believe in wrapping up dogs in clothes.
09:45Mind you, I saw some dogs the other day walking along the street
09:49and they had full baby grows down all their arms
09:52and I thought actually that was quite clever because the slops were getting muddy.
09:55Oh, bollocks.
10:00Dad and Joe, I want to go on this with Dudley and Frank, don't they?
10:03They'd do the parallel bastards.
10:06Graham's next job takes him north to Derby.
10:09Oh God, annoying dogs in Derby.
10:10They're not coming to my house, are they?
10:12To meet a labradoodle who's quite the handful.
10:15We love a labradoodle.
10:17Such nice dogs.
10:18Well, obviously, because we have a doodle.
10:20Well, apparently one of the most common accidents in Scotland
10:24is labradors knocking small children off bridges.
10:27Oh, for heaven's sake.
10:28I promise you, if you look it up, it is a problem.
10:31Bridges?
10:32Hmm.
10:33Little foot bridges.
10:34Oh.
10:36What, into rivers?
10:37Yes.
10:37Oh, hello.
10:38Hello, are you going?
10:39Nice to meet you.
10:40You all right?
10:40Come on in.
10:41Hello, you're Rupert, are you?
10:42You're lively.
10:43Come on, in you go.
10:44Oh, jumping up.
10:44Right, that's what I was doing.
10:46Oh, gosh, very friendly.
10:47He's a lovely lad compared to some other dogs I see.
10:50He's amazing.
10:51He's the best family dog that you could wish for.
10:53What's up with him, then?
10:54What's up with him, then?
10:56What is the problem, then, if he's so perfect?
10:58The problem, apparently, is when I leave the house.
11:02Oh, really?
11:03It turns into a completely different dog.
11:05What does he do?
11:05What does he do, like?
11:06I wonder if the dog thinks I'm the man of the house now.
11:09Yeah.
11:10From the moment his master's back is turned...
11:13See you later, kids.
11:14See you later, Bob.
11:15Bye.
11:17What is he going to do?
11:18Oh, God, I'm scared.
11:19I can't wait to see this.
11:20Rupert has one thing on his mind.
11:24A leg over with the lady of the house.
11:28Oh, my God.
11:30Oh, God!
11:32He fancies his owner's wife.
11:35A pickle still does that on my foot.
11:38This loved-up Labradoodle wants time alone with Bobby.
11:42Get down!
11:43Fucking hell.
11:45In the kitchen...
11:46Rupert!
11:47Rupert, man!
11:48Get down, Rupert!
11:51In the bedroom.
11:54Oh, no, no, no.
11:57Pas devant les enfants.
11:58Pas devant les enfants.
12:00On the couch.
12:02Oh, my God, he does not stop.
12:05But what would happen if she let him carry on?
12:08I mean, do you know what I mean?
12:09Would he eventually...
12:10No, don't go there, Mary.
12:12I'm going to have to ask you to leave your own house,
12:14Alice, so I can see the problem.
12:15But is he going to do it if Graham's there?
12:17Bye.
12:20There you go.
12:21Get down.
12:22Blimey, aren't I?
12:23Get down.
12:23Not even a second!
12:24Straight away!
12:25The kids just don't even notice anymore.
12:27They don't even care anymore.
12:28Mum's being humped by the dog.
12:29That's normal.
12:31So, as soon as Rupert starts to jump up,
12:33we're going to lead him outside.
12:36And we're going to throw a command in there as well.
12:38Right, game over.
12:39Game over.
12:40I'm going to remember that with you.
12:42Game over.
12:43But how will Rupert react to some tough love?
12:48Oh.
12:49OK, right, put him outside.
12:50Go on.
12:51Ray, get out!
12:52Are you sure?
12:53It's like you were a dog.
12:54Well, no, he'd get on my tits.
12:56Game over.
12:57That's it.
12:58Lead him out best you can.
12:59Come on.
13:01Drag him out.
13:02Lead him out whilst he's humping you.
13:04Yeah.
13:05Out!
13:05That's it.
13:08Good, y'all.
13:10There you go.
13:11Weren't how many times they have to do that
13:13before he gets the message?
13:15Go on, try again.
13:17Straight at him.
13:18Game over.
13:20Straight back?
13:21It's like, oh, baby, I missed you.
13:26There you are, darling.
13:28I'm sorry.
13:31He's processing right now.
13:33Yeah.
13:33Something has changed.
13:35He is thinking about it.
13:37The dog, you can see.
13:38Come on, young man.
13:39Try again.
13:41Oh, good boy.
13:42Yeah, hello.
13:44Oh, look, see, see, see?
13:46Oh!
13:47He stopped!
13:48Oh, that's worth a treat.
13:50Good boy.
13:51Good boy.
13:53Well, that did take very long, did it?
13:55He hadn't done it.
13:55All that time it's been...
13:57He's going to be in fucking twice outside.
13:58Perhaps I'll stop putting you out into the garden
14:01when you're annoying.
14:02But I like going into the garden, Mary.
14:04Yeah, it would backfire.
14:05Your best punishment would be to stop me going into the garden
14:08saying, do this paperwork.
14:20What am I expecting for Valentine's Day?
14:23So, a bunch of flowers, a card and some chocolates and you're good in it.
14:26And maybe breakfast in bed, two fried dumplings and an egg.
14:29Sarah, her husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
14:34Two fried dumplings and an egg.
14:36How romantic.
14:37I'm surprised you didn't say I had some sausage.
14:40I'm surprised you didn't say that.
14:42No, that's for dinner, man.
14:43That's it.
14:43You can't be having that for breakfast.
14:46Oh, where are you going?
14:47Where are you going?
14:48I meant sausages, like square sausages.
14:52Just behave.
14:54Both of you, just behave.
14:56All right?
14:57On Saturday night, there was more sweaty spandex on BBC One.
15:03With this drink, I'm in Hawaii.
15:05If I was a gladiator, my name would be Chafe.
15:09Chafe?
15:10Yeah.
15:10Because wearing that lycra, man, they've got to chafe, isn't it?
15:13They've got to.
15:13You were a gladiator.
15:17I always think I'm not competitive.
15:22But sometimes I get very interested in gladiators.
15:25You do, aren't you?
15:25More competitive than you think.
15:28Well, there was that time when I won a whole lot of table tennis matches
15:32and I became really unpleasant, gloating.
15:34Yes.
15:35Please welcome Sean and Hindley!
15:43This is a bit of a mismatch, isn't it?
15:45They compete against each other.
15:47He's got an head stat.
15:48Well, he's got an head and shoulders stat, hasn't he?
15:51A brand new event featuring the highest free fall ever on gladiators.
15:57Oh, no.
15:58No, hell no.
15:59I ain't doing that.
16:00I ain't doing that.
16:01Nobody's going to push me off a ledge.
16:03Contender and gladiator must push a 220 kilogram sliding wall.
16:08Imagine, like, someone like Hindley against Diane pushing that wall.
16:12Well, the smaller one will definitely lose, Hindley.
16:15This is where size and weight matter.
16:19When the siren sounds, the platform tilts.
16:21Oh, it tilts!
16:22Oh, my God.
16:24First giving the contender the advantage before shifting in favour of the gladiator.
16:30Yeah, so you get a tilt on your side first.
16:32Yeah.
16:32If you miss that opportunity, you're done.
16:34Well, 100%.
16:36Three, two, one.
16:40Whoa.
16:41Okay, now he's run straight into it.
16:43Right into the screen and look at Hammer already driving.
16:46Come on, Sean.
16:47Push back.
16:48Push back, Sean.
16:49We need a tilt.
16:50Tilt it.
16:51Come on, tilt.
16:51We need a tilt.
16:52We need a tilt.
16:52Hammer is trying his best to shove him off the end before that happens.
16:57But here we go.
16:58Here we go.
16:59Yeah, it's still good.
17:00And this is where Sean might be able to gain some ground and push that screen back.
17:05Can you hear Sean?
17:10Because here we go.
17:11The tilt goes the other way.
17:13Hammer is tilting.
17:14Oh, it's tilting.
17:15But yeah, he's done.
17:15Bye, Sean.
17:17And it will be time for Hammer to finish the job.
17:22Oh, Sean.
17:24Hammer absolutely hammered him.
17:26Yeah.
17:27It's Hindley.
17:30No way Hindley's going to make any progress up there.
17:34So do you think being shorter, he might have a lower sense of gravity, he could be good at this?
17:38It sounds good, Simon, but I doubt it.
17:43Viper gives it the rah.
17:45Oh, bloody hell.
17:47They're a bit aggressive.
17:48Ezra had butted me this morning.
17:50I know.
17:51Oh, he's up against that nasty bugger.
17:53He's a nasty one he is, Viper.
17:55Two, one.
17:58Here comes the tilt.
18:00Hold your ground now, Sean.
18:01Come on, Pat.
18:02You got him.
18:02Hindley straight away using his lower centre of gravity.
18:06Lower centre of gravity.
18:07Go on, get a bit of momentum going.
18:09Here comes the tilt.
18:11And look at Viper going.
18:12Oh, come on.
18:13Yes.
18:14Oh, my God.
18:14Get him off.
18:15Come on, Hindley.
18:16He's moving him.
18:17Yeah, man.
18:18He's moving him.
18:18He's sliding towards oblivion here.
18:20Yes, Hindley.
18:22There we go.
18:23Go on, Hindley.
18:25It's going to be a win for Hindley.
18:30No way.
18:31Bye, bye, Viper.
18:32Come on.
18:33Bye, bye, Viper.
18:34You're gone.
18:36Yes, Hindley.
18:37I think we've learned something, haven't we, today?
18:40Go on, then.
18:42Because I think I know where you're coming from.
18:44Yeah, man.
18:45I'm ready for some press-ups now, some burpees, some star jumps.
18:49Dad, you're chatting a load of nonsense.
18:51What do you mean I'm chatting a load of nonsense?
18:53Listen, before you were born, you know, I was in the gym every day.
18:55So what happened to now?
18:56When you came along, that was it.
18:58My life turned upside down.
19:00Well, I'm 26 now, so what's your excuse?
19:02Well, 26 years.
19:04It's taken me 26 years to get over this initial shock of when you were born.
19:09Oh, my God.
19:12In the Cotswolds.
19:14Perkins.
19:14Perkins.
19:15Where's my baby?
19:16Come here.
19:18I've got your present.
19:19You chose this.
19:20Show him his present.
19:21Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
19:23What did you choose?
19:25Look, it's called Donald Grump.
19:28Do you think he's a Trump-liker?
19:29Well, I don't know.
19:30No, please.
19:31I don't know if he likes it or...
19:32Hopefully, he'll eat it.
19:35He chose it in the shop.
19:36I turned around, it was in his mouth.
19:38So I had to buy it.
19:39Perkins, do you have no taste?
19:41He's obsessed.
19:42Or maybe it's because he wants to attack it.
19:44I think so.
19:47Well done, Perkins.
19:47You can have a little treat as well.
19:49It looks a bit like you, actually.
19:50It does not look like me.
19:51Ridiculous.
19:53This week, Benedict was still on the hunt for his missing Cinderella on Netflix.
19:58Do you know what?
19:59I'm not into oldy-worldy shite.
20:00But I do like a bit of Bridgerton now.
20:02Well, it's oldy-worldy shite with a twist of new, isn't it?
20:05Bit of muck.
20:06Yeah.
20:06I think that is why I like it, because it has got that nice tingy muck running through it.
20:10Yeah.
20:11Remove my britches.
20:12Expose your loins.
20:13I like that.
20:17Ooh, Bridgerton.
20:21At the minute, Benedict is actually falling in love with Sophie, the maid, but he's still
20:27not realised that she was actually the woman in silver when there was the ball.
20:32Quite dashing, brother.
20:33Oh, good evening, Sophie.
20:35Mr Bridgerton.
20:36That's her.
20:37Well, there she is.
20:37This is her.
20:38Now, won't you think?
20:39Ooh.
20:40You look better in silver, love.
20:42Yeah.
20:42No, you see, he's not taking much notice, I don't think.
20:44No, no.
20:45No.
20:47How are you finding your position?
20:49My sisters are not wearing you out, are they?
20:51You'd like to wear her out, wouldn't they?
20:54Theresa.
20:55Oh, I find them to be intellectually surprising.
20:58Even her voice.
20:59She spoke to her.
21:00Yeah, she spoke to her.
21:01You think?
21:05Are you in need of assistance?
21:07Oh, I beg your pardon?
21:08It is a slippery little thing and I cannot find my wallet.
21:10May I?
21:11May I?
21:12May I?
21:13May you?
21:14I think this is a bit inappropriate, isn't it?
21:18Look, look at her gazing up at him.
21:20I'd laugh if someone was looking at me like that.
21:22I actually would just say, what are you looking at?
21:24You fucking creep.
21:27There you are.
21:30Thank you, Sophie.
21:32Oh, shit.
21:33I thought they were going to kiss then.
21:34Oh, he is absolutely smitten with that girl.
21:39A bit later, Benedict's mum thought she'd found the mystery lady
21:43and arranged a tea party.
21:45And did you grow up in the countryside?
21:47We live between the two.
21:49I live from the...
21:51I live from the...
21:51I live from the...
21:52I live from the...
21:52I live from the fresh air in my...
21:53He's looking at the mouth.
21:54The mouth will give it away because they had a little...
21:58All right.
21:59I think you could tell someone for your mouth.
22:03It's quite a fun idea, a mask grade ball.
22:05I mean, you could tell me by my mouth.
22:07I've got mean little lips.
22:10He says it is wonderful.
22:12Here she comes!
22:13Here she is!
22:14It's the only time I've ever seen a Sophie making a tea.
22:21Oh, she's clopped the bird.
22:23And who's this fucker?
22:24She's not happy.
22:25His face is dropped.
22:25He now feels awkward.
22:27We're all bloody awkward.
22:28Such a beautiful home.
22:29It has always been the dream of mine to visit Bridget and Hust.
22:32Surely you were here for the masquerade ball.
22:34Oh, yes, I was planning to attend, but sadly I fell ill and could not.
22:38Oh, lordy me.
22:41She weren't there.
22:43It's not her from the masquerade ball.
22:46Confirmation, it's not her.
22:48Perhaps with all the disguises, I was thought to have been there.
22:50I've said a lot of time if you asked that question at the beginning.
22:52Absolutely.
22:53Did you come to the ball?
22:54No, bye.
22:58Oh, no, it's all the staff going out for a drink.
23:01Staff goes out.
23:02Oh, I have left my coin pass in my room.
23:05Aye.
23:05I know somebody else still forgets the coin pass when you go.
23:08Yeah, don't you?
23:11Oh, here we go.
23:13Oof, like that.
23:14They're going to come face to face.
23:21Oh, there you go.
23:23I thought you...
23:26Is this a lunge-worthy moment, Mary?
23:28Yes, it is.
23:30Oh, here we go.
23:32Scandalous, Mary.
23:35What?
23:37Oh, my God, where is he going?
23:38I mean, I'm sorry.
23:41Oh.
23:43Oh, don't be silly.
23:44Not up against the wall in the house.
23:48She can't get her bloopers down quick enough.
23:50I know.
23:57Yeah, I know.
23:58What a gent.
24:01Oh, my Lord!
24:05Oh, my Lord!
24:07Oh!
24:09Oh!
24:09next oh are you oh no it's a bit much for me she's definitely thinking no one's gonna
24:27fucking believe this in the morning I got a finger off mr. Bridget when I search for you
24:32and everyone my entire my heart beats when you're near this is everything Sophie wants to hear look
24:37at her face this is leading up to the l-word isn't it you get the feeling it is will
24:44you marry me
24:50be my mistress I beg your pardon
25:01fuck off why what's the problem mistress what's the problem with that just someone that you have sex
25:06with mistress yeah be his mistress when you fill in a form that's an option miss no and mistress
25:13are you coming Sophie we waited for you
25:23I not gone down well surprise that'll be a no from me good girl good girl doesn't even give
25:31him an answer if he'd have asked me to be his mistress in that scenario I'd a need him in
25:36the
25:36bollocks grabbed me coin purse gone straight to tavern and snog somebody else to make him jealous I'd a gave
25:52him mistress
25:53in Leeds god I've got a tickly cough and I'm you gave me this cough best friends Danielle and Daniella
26:01I need
26:02you to stop blaming me for everything today that's what I need you to do because I is that time
26:07of the
26:07month for me I will bite your head off oh when we've not synced have we oh let's go do
26:14you know
26:14what there's only one way we can sort it so come on listen on Saturday night BBC one was going
26:27big
26:27again what the bloody hell is this juice yes where's wine it's Saturday night I'm not opening one of my
26:34nice
26:35bottles just for you he's funny just to look out isn't he do you know what when I was a
26:52kid
26:52pranks would be like pulling somebody's trousers down you know you know gone are the days none of the
27:00days you can keg someone tonight we are surprising the amazing Westlife I see them down the O2 you
27:11raise me I knew you were gonna sing that song so I could stand mountains is there anybody who's never
27:20heard of Westlife is it of course I've heard of I know Westlife boys own take that genuinely not
27:29heard of Westlife okay how old are you 16 well I wouldn't have heard of him how long ago was
27:38it
27:39in on the joke was Alex Jones who was hosting a fake chat show backstage every week okay we give
27:46one lucky viewer a chance to meet their heroes and my next guest might just be Westlife's number one
27:52fan oh it's that 16 year old lad he's never even heard of him please welcome Roman
28:06not the t-shirt I love the t-shirt isn't it great the people thinking nah he's way too young
28:12to be our fan I mean I'm a bit nervous because I'm a big fan of Westlife do you feel
28:17the same yeah I love them yeah all right Roman
28:20get him after immediately did your parents introduced you to Westlife my dad used to listen to them like a
28:26lot yeah who was your dad's favorite which one of the boys yeah the Irish one
28:31yeah I remember I think it was you I think it was you I don't know his name it was
28:41you Brian McFadden I tell you what is there anything the floor is yours what do you want to ask
28:47the boys what's he gonna ask them
28:49okay okay do you shave your chest
28:56it's hard
28:57what did you can I have a hug oh I'm 16 he's embracing it now he is he's getting right
29:02into character
29:03you're 16
29:06oh he's so much taller than them
29:12I bet they've gone through that door and gone like after each other what the hell just happened
29:16I know what are we doing you
29:21a wall is gonna collapse is that right Mary yes
29:24yeah coming to you
29:26oh
29:28oh there it goes
29:32look at the faces
29:38Michael McIntyre's getting bats and bats down
29:41yeah
29:43you
29:44you
29:49uptown girl everyone knows this is an absolute
29:53box
29:55oh he's loving it
29:57there's one here
29:59there's one here
30:00uptown girl
30:01she's been living in a uptown world
30:05I bet her mother never told her what you have to do it in time I am in time you're
30:17out of time
30:20uptown girl sing the bitch you know
30:25you must be an uptown girl because you live in a white bed world happy a bit of wops
30:34there he is number one fan
30:36just not wrestling
30:38go on Roman sing
30:39uptown girl
30:42don't you know
30:44uptown girl
30:47uptown girl
30:48whoo
30:50oh they've still got it
30:52oh they have
30:52nobody's ever surprised me
30:54I don't know why
30:55no because I don't like you
31:00in blackpool
31:01oh ace
31:02what
31:03jimmy's got star of the day
31:06awww
31:06always listening in phonics
31:09awww
31:09that's sad that isn't it
31:11awww
31:11Pete and his little sister Sophie
31:13he'll be made up with that
31:15oh aye
31:16well
31:16I know
31:17I know what'll end up happening
31:18he's like page with stuff like this
31:20star of the day now
31:21he'll be star of the day for the next three months
31:23yeah
31:23really ring the arse out of it
31:26oh can i have mcdonald's with my tea now
31:28no
31:29on friday it was fallout from the sickening scandal across the pond that made the headlines on home soil
31:41that's four i've had
31:45oh get the fork i can't eat this
31:47isn't it extraordinary how we are in the eye of the hurricane of domestic and world views
31:54mm
31:55hello good evening
31:56the metropolitan police are searching two properties linked to lord mandelson
32:00strip him of his title
32:01let's start there
32:03he's a right bloody dirty get him in that lord mandelson
32:06slipperier than soapy is
32:08the force is investigating the pier after emails released by the us government appear to show him sharing sensitive information
32:15with the convicted sex offender jeffrey epstein
32:17oh god
32:18this is such a bloody mess simon
32:20how the mighty have fallen
32:22peter mandelson
32:23and hasn't publicly commented on the allegations but has previously denied any wrongdoing and said he regrets his past friendship
32:31with epstein
32:32if he has even had a whiff of a connection with epstein that should have been enough
32:37his political career or whatever
32:38yeah that's it curtains
32:39i feel like we should bring back shaming people
32:42yeah 100
32:43that's a shame shame
32:46it is a striking end to a week of jaw-dropping revelations about the politician and his paedophile friend
32:52see how it is
32:53they don't pull the punches do they nowadays
32:56good
32:56they just say our right this paedophile friend
32:58yeah and i'm glad they do that because
33:00yeah i'm glad they do that you know
33:01we don't know which emails the police are investigating but among those released by the us government
33:06is one where it appears peter mandelson gave jeffrey epstein advance notice
33:10of an enormous eu bailout
33:13oh
33:15no
33:16epstein emailed lord mandelson
33:18sources tell me 500 billion euro bailout almost complete
33:22this is shocking simon
33:24what they've had to do there is unpick the code
33:26yeah
33:27what's compelled say
33:28yeah
33:29that's what way you want to know
33:30have we get csi on this
33:32yeah
33:33because he said it's almost compelled say
33:35i'm going to have to unscramble this somehow
33:37a reply seemingly from mandelston said should be announced tonight
33:41wow
33:42that's the inside of information that
33:44yeah
33:44hours later eu finance ministers did indeed approve the bailout
33:48you can't um
33:50be a politician and be pinging off emails
33:53so that your pedophile mate can make a quick buck
33:58the thing that i can't get over is
34:00these people that it's naming in the files
34:03why aren't they being taken to court
34:06why aren't they being questioned
34:07there's a lot of people getting away with it
34:10the bbc understands peter mandelson's position is that he has not acted in any way criminally
34:14and that he was not motivated by financial gain
34:17oh you're having a bloody laugh at ya
34:20he didn't get financial gain from it but your friend did
34:23and your friend provides you with certain things
34:26yeah
34:26keir starmer has claimed lord mandelson lied to him
34:29i don't believe this either
34:31what you don't believe starmer has told this
34:34no
34:34he portrayed epstein as someone he barely knew
34:38this is absolutely absurd
34:40you knew he knew epstein
34:42sorry he did know
34:44of course he did
34:44mandelson is obviously a master manipulator and deceiver
34:50he's the one who's acted deceitful and pulled the wool over everyone's eyes
34:54and when that became clear
34:58and it was not true
35:01i sacked him
35:02even when he's emotional he sounds like a bloody dalek
35:06what's wrong with a man
35:07he's trying to save his neck here
35:09of course he is
35:10this guy
35:10because he knows
35:12he's on the bloody way out starmer
35:14but the prime minister's problem is he knew the pair were friends
35:18after epstein's conviction for abusing girls as young as 14
35:23oh don't it makes my back go
35:26i mean it's just so shady
35:29depraved isn't it
35:31yeah
35:31and a handful of labour mps now want starmer to go
35:35i want starmer to go we all want starmer to go
35:38i actually think starmer is a decent man
35:41i don't think he's done a very good job
35:45see i'm not a starmer fan but i don't know if the prime minister should go on the back of
35:49this
35:50i agree with you but with all the other stuff that's gone on
35:54yeah
35:55but i think you should go for appointing rachel reeves as chancellor but not for this
36:00i think i'll go lee
36:01do you
36:02i think once he's talked to his backbenchers
36:04oh i bet you i bet you a vanilla slice is still here next month
36:07all right then
36:08i'll bet you too
36:09all right
36:11you
36:17in hall
36:18ray cooked a joint last night pork joint with all the crackle oil
36:21holly
36:22i went to my air fryer and looked in my air fryer and i had some dripping i had the
36:27lovely bread and dripping
36:28best friends jenny and lee
36:31oh that's dripping nowadays
36:32me
36:33i don't waste now
36:35so you scoop the bottom of your air fryer and put it on a piece of bread
36:39oh jenny that is disgusting
36:41on the ham pork
36:41oh no it doesn't really matter
36:44oh it does
36:45that's why it's in the bottom you don't touch it
36:47yeah you do
36:48and i spoon it out
36:49oh my god you're making me feel sick
36:52on friday there was some nostalgic news for us to feast on on the bbc
36:58would you believe i've had to open another jar of pickles
37:02somebody keeps going into the fridge and just eating pickles
37:09i love this pattern i can never get enough of it
37:13i have to get a tattoo next not i
37:15oh no that would be going too far
37:17now if you're still thinking about what to eat this lunchtime
37:21i'm always thinking about what to eat that's all i think about
37:24yeah i am because i've got a friend who doesn't fucking feed us
37:27how about a classic prawn cocktail
37:29prawn cocktail you love a prawn cocktail
37:31i do i had one yesterday
37:32followed by a jam roly-poly maybe
37:35whoa
37:36now you like that sort of thing with custard don't you
37:39i love that yeah sauce on clay
37:41well research followed shows that more of us are turning to our childhood favourites
37:46for a taste of nostalgia
37:48childhood nostalgia i think i'd collapse if my mam try to feed us a prawn at five
37:53fair enough the jam roly-poly but not the prawns
37:55do you know what my kids whinge about school dinners and little do they know these are the best days
38:00of their lives
38:01yeah
38:02to make sure your evening goes with the swiss
38:04you'll need camera smash
38:06oh this was one of my favorite
38:08smash smash smash
38:10they peel potatoes then they smash them all too big
38:15the other children would be getting crunchies or kit kats and i'd buy a packet of smash
38:19yes
38:20i used to live off of that yeah the mashed potatoes
38:22i told you
38:23and you whip it up with a bit of water and i used to put a bit of milk and
38:26butter in that as well
38:27yeah that
38:28yeah
38:28from supermarkets to social media comfort classics are back and new businesses are cashing in
38:34crispy pancakes
38:35oh my god remember them
38:36god they used to burn my mouth off
38:38because i was so impatient
38:40mum would literally say
38:41give it five
38:42they've just come out the oven
38:43yep
38:44and i'd be like
38:45i ain't got five
38:46oh there's nothing wrong with bringing these back
38:48good scran i reckon
38:53sweet times in grimsby
38:56you can keep your creme brulees and panna cottas
38:59i don't like creme brulee or panna cotta anyway i'm a thingy i just like sponge and custard
39:03people are going back to old school british values aren't they like old treats and low level racism
39:10the girls that we have working behind us in the bakery are the you know ex-dinner ladies some of
39:14them actually cooked in the primary school
39:16we couldn't be trusted to work there
39:18no
39:20if a lady isn't having a hot flush while she's making my jam roly-poly it's not going to be
39:24up to scratch
39:25well it won't taste the same will it
39:26it's likely that the current trend stems from people's need to have a bit of comfort in their life
39:33i'll tell you what
39:34she's good
39:35she's red hot
39:35i'm going to study a degree in consumer psychology
39:40and then i'm going to get wheeled on television decades later
39:45to comment on food items
39:50consumer psychologist mary
39:51as for the future the proof of the pudding will be in eating but a classic never goes out of
39:57style
39:57i still love the food now that i liked as a kid
40:01to be honest i haven't really ventured out much apart from i eat mushrooms now and i never used to
40:06oh i love a ginger sponge
40:08yeah any sponge basically any sponge with custard
40:14stun
40:14go on there's some donuts in fridge go and fetch us one
40:17we'll share one we won't be too greedy
40:19look at me you've never seen me move so quick
40:24in glasgow
40:25so i was in seeing my brother the other day to try and buy a new car
40:28okay
40:28and he's like hit me with
40:31you need to trade this heap of shite in
40:32uh-huh
40:33he sold me last year
40:35best mates jake and callum
40:38but it was just funny because when i went in
40:39i said oh he's gonna sort me out big time
40:42instantly insults the car he sold me last year
40:44yeah right
40:45convincing me to buy a new one
40:46what's not to say next year i go back and he says that is now shit
40:49that is shit now
40:51yeah
40:51in the motor industry that's shit
40:52yeah you can't be driving around in that
40:54yeah
40:54you can't be my brother and be
40:55can you trust a car salesman full stop
40:57can you trust a brother full stop
40:58you can't
40:59i don't have a brother
41:00but not a car salesman brother
41:03on monday night
41:04our favourite daredevil was trying to save us a few quid on channel 4
41:09it's a bit warmer nearly
41:13oh this will be interesting
41:15we like guy martin don't we
41:16i can't remember which one he is
41:18oh he's terrific
41:18we all know it
41:19heating your home
41:22has got
41:23bloody expensive
41:24bloody right
41:25when you're in london
41:27yes
41:28i put both the thermostats on to like 35 degrees
41:31yeah
41:31that's just such a waste
41:34i walk around in my pants
41:35yeah well darling
41:36that's not good for the environment
41:38over the past five or six years
41:40energy bills
41:42have gone up
41:43seventy percent
41:44tell me about it
41:46i'll come home from work
41:47there's lights on
41:49there's no one home
41:49yeah
41:50lights have been on all day
41:51two ways are worse for that
41:52guy martin's finding out how to make our homes cheaper to heat
41:56ellie when he's not gonna come round and finish my radio
42:00i don't know
42:01i'm not his keeper
42:02yes you are
42:03yes you are
42:05yes you are
42:06i don't decide what he does
42:08yes you do
42:09what i really want to find out is
42:11can we get rid of energy bills altogether
42:16no
42:17a house for folk bills
42:18oh i mean that's everyone's dream isn't it
42:21do you know why i think guy martin will be good at this because he's a bit of an engineer
42:23boffin
42:24yeah
42:24you know he's into his motorbikes into cars lorries all that lot
42:28you can show us how to get wired up to the lamppost
42:31i am about performance and efficiency
42:34i like a bit of performance and efficiency as well
42:37see guy martin's got the right idea hasn't he he's got massive sideburns so his face is always warm
42:43yeah it's got energy efficient face any
42:44hmm
42:45so i spend days with my thermal image here just looking at stuff where heat's running about
42:51that's you
42:52and a rat your friend
42:54and a rat
42:55strikes me as the kind of guy eats a lot of bean casseroles
43:01air source heat pump and this is the second one we've added
43:03so what do they do then take the air and heat it and put it in your house
43:07i don't know jane
43:08oh okay
43:09my parents have one on our pool
43:12very early one years ago
43:13of course it was a heat pump
43:15must be so hard growing up for you
43:17guy martin's investigations into reducing energy bills are about to tackle the thing responsible
43:23for up to 20 percent of an older home's heat loss
43:29drafts
43:31drafts
43:31we've got a draft problem at the front door there innit
43:33yes we need it fixed please
43:36ahem
43:36we're just trying to figure out how to do it
43:38ahem
43:38we're gonna do a draft test on my house
43:41oh god don't just don't come to us please
43:44who thinks up these programs with boring men doing boring things
43:50Guy has called in the expertise of air tester
43:53Gervais Manguana
43:54oh
43:55Gervais Manguana
43:57oh Gervais Manguana
43:57he sounds posh
43:58it's the unseen thing air tightness
44:01everybody's got a bit of a head round insulation
44:03yeah
44:03and in fact the regs for new builds have systematically got better over the last 20 years
44:07the air tightness has pretty much stayed the same
44:09what is air tightness
44:10um
44:11it is quite complex to explain in a sentence
44:14oh
44:15you watch it you'll understand
44:16okay
44:17the process starts by closing all the windows
44:20closing the windows
44:21it's always a good starting point
44:23what is that
44:24and then installing a fan into the front door
44:26a fan
44:27perfectly sealed
44:28so that when it's turned on
44:30it will pressurize the inside of the house
44:33right see how quick
44:35it
44:35it loses the pressure I suppose
44:38oh
44:38all this to save a couple of quid
44:40the faster the fan has to spin
44:42the leakier the house must be
44:46told ya
44:47have you ever seen this done
44:48yes
44:49well I suppose you were in the business weren't you
44:51not in the draft sealing business
44:53you're in the new build business
44:55the result is known as the air permeability value
44:59oh
44:59permeability
45:01revealing where the leaks are
45:03requires a smoke gun
45:05no it doesn't
45:06fucking
45:06no it doesn't
45:08I got a diffuser like that from B&M for about 4 quid
45:10there you go
45:12then you can see the smoke on the outside look
45:14look at that
45:14the smoke's going out
45:16rather than heating his home
45:18Guy is heating Lincolnshire
45:21oh really
45:21he's eating his garden
45:23yeah
45:23Guy's cheap remedy for the back door
45:26is a good old fashioned draft excluder
45:29yeah
45:29there you go
45:30who'd have thought you've got a draft at the back door
45:32get a draft excluder
45:33go on
45:34shall we put that on
45:35what are we calling him
45:37Tony
45:37Tony
45:38yeah
45:39Tony the draft excluding dog
45:42oh I wouldn't have thought of putting him like that
45:45would you
45:46wouldn't
45:47I would not have
45:47yeah
45:48fair play Tony
45:49you can stay there saving me a few pennies
45:51as simple as that
45:54I could have told you that for free without having to watch this shite for an hour
45:57I would not
45:58regard it as entertainment
46:00no
46:00I'd regard it as a public information broadcast
46:03yeah
46:03same
46:05er
46:05so you know
46:06whether
46:07whether it's drafts or STDs
46:09it's not something you
46:11you'd dwell on is it
46:13you'd expect to enjoy
46:16noses out of their living rooms
46:18and right into the biz of free big city besties
46:21working at a women's magazine where the lifestyle section is certainly juicy
46:25stream the bold type now
46:27tomorrow night here on channel 4
46:29if Alice Roberts incredible train journeys are your Roman Empire
46:33it's going to be a great Valentine's Day
46:35she's back exploring the ancient world at 9
46:37new at the last leg is next
46:45next
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