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00:00Oh, it's nice with the nappy off.
00:02You're sweet.
00:03Yeah.
00:04Yeah.
00:06Oh, she's got me.
00:07Oh, she's sweet.
00:08Oh, no.
00:09I'm covered in we.
00:16Have you ever done that like that?
00:18Well, I absolutely know what they have.
00:22Oh, Barcelona.
00:25No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:28A what?
00:29What fetish?
00:30I had no idea that was a thing.
00:32Remove my britches.
00:33Expose your loins.
00:35I like that.
00:35Oh, Ronnie.
00:39This is weird.
00:40Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
00:42This is why I don't date.
00:44Because that is Dyson with the devil.
00:45Oh, no.
00:46He suffers for his heart, doesn't he?
00:48A Bentley Continental.
00:50I think I'd rather call it a day, not to you, wouldn't you?
00:53Who's been arrested now and for what?
00:57In the week NASA's Artemis II rocket set off to the dark side of the moon, we enjoyed lots of
01:04great telly.
01:06The big man was lording it up on BBC One.
01:09Lord Sugar is on the hunt for the next big thing.
01:12He hasn't felt the need to change his name to Lord Sweetener, Nutty.
01:17Why not would he?
01:18Oh, that's so unfunny.
01:20Do you remember when I had a good sense of humour?
01:22Is that the standard of joke that I might crack?
01:25That's like one of the worst jokes I've ever heard.
01:27That's the reason I've stopped coming to London.
01:29I think my jokes have gone downhill, Nutty.
01:31I'd say, have you watched anything by Lord Sweetener recently?
01:36Brides were getting more than they bargained for on maths.
01:39He would rather starve himself, which turned into the opposite problem as he got older, and he turned into a
01:46gluttonous pig.
01:48I loved your wedding speeches for the fact of it was so...
01:53It was me, you and Brian.
01:55Yeah.
01:56Now, Brian was panicking because he thought he was going to say, hello, my name's Brain.
02:02Yeah, well, he's dyslexic.
02:04You hadn't written anything, and I was that nervous that I just read off my phone at 2x speed.
02:10Yeah, it's like having an auctioneer there.
02:12Hello, welcome to the wedding. Thank you, everybody, for coming.
02:14I've known Pete for 30 years. He's fantastic. Thank you very much.
02:17The buffet is now open.
02:20And then we're making Keep Fit sound easy on the BBC.
02:24Strength training puts stress on our muscle fibres and can cause microscopic damage to them.
02:30I see. It's not good for you, some of it, is it?
02:33It is.
02:34That's not.
02:35They grow back stronger.
02:37Do they?
02:38Yeah, it's like what they call, I think it's called myrofibrilisation, where it grows back.
02:42Have you chewed on a book or something?
02:54What can we do about these ants, Mary?
02:59Oh, one's just bit me.
03:01Oh, my God.
03:02What's happening?
03:03I've just been bitten by an ant, Mary.
03:05You have not.
03:06Yeah, there's two of them, ant and deck.
03:10Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:12Oh, Mary.
03:12Are you not serious?
03:14They don't bite, do they?
03:15Look, they were literally...
03:17Oh, they weren't in that jar.
03:18They were in the jar, Mary.
03:20Oh, my God, look at the thing.
03:22Look at the lid.
03:22Oh, no, that's horrible.
03:23Look at how many...
03:24Who left the lid off?
03:25Look at ant and deck and all their family.
03:27Let go of the jar.
03:29Oh, my God, they're all over my hand.
03:31And they've gone into the jar, you imbecilic person.
03:35It wasn't me who left the jar loose.
03:37On Thursday night, beginners in business were at it again on BBC One.
03:42You see, the thing is, with Lord Sugar, you know, he goes, you're fired.
03:46What he doesn't actually realise is that the legislation now,
03:49with regards to employment law, has changed considerably.
03:51And if he's not careful, that he will end up in a tribe funeral.
03:55Yeah, and you don't want that on your hands.
03:58Not at his age.
03:59You're fired.
04:02Do you know what?
04:03I can't take my eyes off Alan Sugar's earlobes.
04:07Big old earlobes, them, aren't they?
04:09Whose earlobes are bigger mine or Alan Sugar's?
04:11Alan's.
04:12Good morning.
04:12In the programme,
04:13Lord Sugar was remoting in with another creative challenge for the teams.
04:18Now, the UK spends an astonishing £9 billion a year on products for their pets.
04:25£9 billion on that guy?
04:27I can believe that.
04:28Really?
04:29Alan Sugar doesn't really know much about animals.
04:31That's just one trip to the vet.
04:34So you're going to come up with a new pet lifestyle brand,
04:39design an innovative pet product.
04:42I like that.
04:43This is a bit of me.
04:44I would excel at this task.
04:46The biggest purchase I've made recently, self-cleaning litter trays.
04:50Ooh, that's the kind of shit they need to be coming up with.
04:53Planning to pounce on a winning idea.
04:55Now, imagine if you had the power to leave your dog voice notes.
04:59Voice snorts.
05:00I speak to my dogs all the time, don't you?
05:02So do I.
05:02In my head, okay, there's a dog bed, right?
05:05And dog owners communicate and leave, like, little voice messages for their dogs.
05:09I don't think Perkins would like that very much.
05:11No.
05:12Because I would confuse them and think we're there.
05:13Thinks we're there.
05:14Surely that would freight the dog out, though.
05:16Yeah, dogs having an out next year.
05:18Ooh!
05:19Where's that come from?
05:20The logo needs to be minimalistic and chic.
05:23Like, I thought of Maison Lachien, which means house of dog.
05:25That sounds kind of sick, innit?
05:27Yeah, that sounds sick, Maison Lachien.
05:29Chic canines or Chic Lachien?
05:33Chic Lachien?
05:33I know Chic is...
05:35Posh.
05:35Yeah.
05:36Posh dogs.
05:37In French, wouldn't it be the other way around?
05:38Lachien Chic.
05:39Yeah, that just sounds way better.
05:41Lachien Chic.
05:42Chic is very much like Paris Chic.
05:46It's very, like, elegant.
05:48Did she say Chic is really...
05:49It's like Paris, it's like Chic, so Chic is Chic.
05:52Just to confirm, the brand name is going to be Chic Lachien.
05:57That's not how you spell it.
05:59That's not how you spell it.
06:01Yeah, that's not right.
06:02It should be C-H-I-C.
06:03C-H-I-Q-U-E.
06:04I think if we can have the Chic bigger than the Lachien.
06:07Yeah.
06:07Yeah, we want the misspelt Chic.
06:09Even bigger, please.
06:11Like that.
06:12Perfect.
06:13Chic-we.
06:14Chic-we Lachien.
06:15I mean, seriously?
06:17And they're all going with it?
06:18It's a shame, because it looks quite good as well.
06:20It does look quite nice, but it means fuck all.
06:22Can I just double-check the spelling of Chic Lachien?
06:25Good question.
06:26C-H-I-Q-U-E.
06:30That's not the spelling of Chic.
06:32Oh, you G!
06:34I love her.
06:35Well done, Chris Macheese.
06:36But on air, you know.
06:37Yeah, she is.
06:38How would you usually spell it?
06:40So it would be C-H-I-C.
06:41C-H-I-C.
06:43Oh, like Chic.
06:44Yeah, like Chic.
06:44Oh, so you spell Chic like Chic.
06:48Right, yeah, okay, yeah, I see what you're saying now.
06:52So if we write a rough script for this, keep it short and sweet.
06:54Oh, so they're coming up with the messages
06:56that you're going to hear in the bed, right?
06:58Yeah.
06:58Weird.
06:59Hey, baby, I miss you.
07:00I'm running late, but I'll be home soon.
07:02Love you so much.
07:03See you soon.
07:04Bye.
07:05He would say that to the dog.
07:06Hey, baby, I miss you.
07:08Have you ever said to Pickle, hey, baby, I miss you?
07:10No.
07:10I would leave in a high-pitched woman's voice, Nutty.
07:14I'd leave a message.
07:16Chicken.
07:17Oh.
07:17So this is going to be audio activated.
07:19Any loud bang, an ambulance, a knock on the door.
07:22Hey, baby, I miss you.
07:24I'm running late, but I'll be home soon.
07:25That clap just triggered it.
07:27That's clever.
07:28Love you so much.
07:29See you soon.
07:30Bye.
07:32That dog's going to get fed up with that, man.
07:34That noise is going to get...
07:35She's going to get sick of the sound of her own voice, you know.
07:38We initially started with a round bed.
07:39Yeah.
07:39Then I was like, no, let's do it.
07:40Hey, baby, I miss you.
07:41I'm running late, but I'll be home.
07:42Oh, no.
07:43It's too sensitive.
07:45It's going off at everything.
07:46Obviously, it does go off with quite sensitive sounds.
07:50Hey, baby, I miss you.
07:51Oh, wow.
07:53Oh, no.
07:55Don't fucking drive anyone back.
07:59The dog fucking...
08:00I said, go on, on.
08:01Let me out.
08:02Guys, you know, today's a big, busy day.
08:04We've got the pitch.
08:05Hey, baby, I miss you.
08:09Hey, baby.
08:11I'm just going to switch that off.
08:13Love you so much.
08:15See you soon.
08:15Bye.
08:16Yeah, bye.
08:17She's switching it off.
08:18She's not even like it herself.
08:19She's switching the bastard off and it's her voice.
08:22I've spunked so much money on pets over the years.
08:24I block it out because I don't want to remember because I've just upset myself.
08:27Exactly.
08:29But I can tell you what I wouldn't be wasting my money on.
08:32That.
08:33Yes.
08:36In home.
08:37Do you know I went to fill my car up the other day?
08:39Oh, you're not panic buying, are you?
08:41I suppose you're waiting to petrol station, put loads of petrol in, loads of bog rolls and everything.
08:46No, no, I just fill the car up.
08:48Best friends Jenny and Lee.
08:51Oh, I didn't half notice the difference because I always fill my car up when it's half full.
08:55Mm.
08:56Always.
08:58So, and I went and I thought, what a difference.
09:01Is it?
09:02Yeah.
09:03Bloody too expensive.
09:04Really?
09:05I said it'll last me six months.
09:06I was going to say, you don't fucking go anyway.
09:08I know.
09:09No, but now.
09:11The fav issue goes to petrol station.
09:14On Wednesday, Disney Plus took us on a flying visit to meet our favourite buzzing insects.
09:20Oh, the bees.
09:21Oh, you like all this shit, don't you?
09:23I just love bees.
09:24You've always loved bees.
09:26I know.
09:26That's one thing consistently since I've known you.
09:29You do love a bumblebee.
09:30What if I told you bees could be the most important animals on the planet?
09:35I'd believe you.
09:37I'd bee-lieve you.
09:38Oh.
09:39There are over 20,000 species of bees.
09:43Wow.
09:44I never knew that.
09:44I didn't know that.
09:45I just thought they were just a bee.
09:46And together, they pollinate a third of the food we eat.
09:50Like what type of food?
09:52Potatoes, everything.
09:53They pollinate a spud.
09:58I'm kind of here for this.
09:59Yeah.
10:00Kind of creeps out, kind of here.
10:01I'm in the middle of doing a bee jigsaw.
10:03Are you?
10:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:05Different types of bees.
10:06They all look the same.
10:08He's a bugger.
10:10In the mountain forests of Japan.
10:13Has your sister had any encounters with bees while she's been in Japan?
10:16We don't really have much conversations about bees, I'll have to ask her.
10:20The Asian honeybee faces a much more frightening foe.
10:24What could that be?
10:27Giant hornets.
10:28Oh, they're bad bastards, them hornets.
10:31They're awful.
10:32All right.
10:33Bloody hell, calm down.
10:34Oh, my God.
10:34Look at them.
10:35Known by some as murder hornets.
10:40Because that is what they do.
10:45You see what they're doing?
10:46Why have we got things like that in their life?
10:50I don't know.
10:51Who needs them?
10:52A nearby hive is in the firing line.
10:56Bullshit.
10:57Watch your back, lads.
11:00Oh, no, this is dreadful.
11:02I don't want to see this.
11:05Oh, it's just attacked!
11:07Oh, you arsehole.
11:09Luckily, the entrance is too narrow for the giant.
11:13Oh, it's too narrow.
11:14Thank Christ for that, then.
11:15The hornet flies off.
11:17Cut the weeks on his end pick.
11:18It's straight back in.
11:20Recognise me?
11:21Yeah, I'm back.
11:23The hornet marks the hive with a chemical scent that will guide her and her clan right back.
11:34That's horrible.
11:35So they're going to come back in masses?
11:37This is like a nightmare.
11:39Well, I think you're overreacting, Matthew.
11:40Why can't you just watch a nature documentary without being hysterical?
11:44So I've never seen such a horrible thing as a murder hornet.
11:49Workers race to collect fragrant leaves to mask the hornet's scent.
11:54Well, that's clever, isn't it?
11:57Dude.
11:58That's what I used to do when I'd been out smoking.
12:00On the walk home, I'd get a leaf and I'd rub it on my fingers so that when I got
12:04in,
12:04my mum was like, let me smell your fingers.
12:05This extraordinary behaviour is a rare example of tool use.
12:12Look, it's wiping.
12:13It's using the leaf like a cloth.
12:15And look at them all working together.
12:16The bees work quickly.
12:20But not fast enough.
12:22Oh.
12:23Who's going to be upset, Mary?
12:25Here they come again.
12:26The hornet's back.
12:30With her sisters.
12:32Oh, God, there's three of them.
12:33Oh, what the bloody hell.
12:36And together, they slice their way in.
12:40Oh, Daniella.
12:42No, they're eating the entrance.
12:49Oh, it's in.
12:51Oh, no.
12:51Oh, no.
12:52Why don't all the bees just gang up on that big hornet now and just sting him in the face?
12:56Yeah, twat it.
12:57The bees' only hope for survival is to respond as one.
13:03Oh, yeah.
13:04Attack.
13:05Oh, swarm it, swarm it, swarm it, swarm it, swarm it.
13:08Hold.
13:10Now.
13:11Go on, get in.
13:16They're all on him, Joe.
13:18Go on.
13:18Sting the bastard.
13:20Sting him up.
13:20Sting him up.
13:21Sting him up.
13:23Sting him up.
13:32Sting him up.
13:33Wings, that's mental.
13:35And nuke it.
13:37Nuke it, yeah.
13:38Brilliant.
13:40The temperature in the centre reaches 115 degrees.
13:45What?
13:46Wow.
13:47Hot enough to fry a hornet.
13:49And then chuck its fried body out to warn the others.
13:52Yeah.
13:52Did somebody order a hornet?
13:54One fried hornet coming up.
13:56Send it back out, fried.
13:59There's your mate.
14:00The next invader gets the same treatment.
14:04Yes!
14:06And here's another one.
14:07Yeah, get that one as well.
14:09Their collective action has achieved the near impossible.
14:13Oh, it's like...
14:15What?
14:16The next.
14:18And save the colony.
14:22That is wild.
14:23I mean, what's that last hornet going to do?
14:25Go back and tell everybody?
14:27Well, there we go.
14:28John and Kevin have just been killing that hype out there.
14:31Going to watch them vicious little gits.
14:33Thought we were bad.
14:44In Blackpool...
14:45I'll tell you what, it's an emotional rollercoaster on Friday.
14:48Why?
14:48So Paige went to me,
14:50Will you drop paper off at nursery?
14:52And I said,
14:53All right.
14:54Who fucking hell?
14:55Yeah.
14:56For your kids?
14:57Yeah.
14:58Pete and his little sister Sophie.
15:01I dropped off at preschool and I just got in the car
15:03and I just started crying.
15:05Oh, don't.
15:05She's getting so grown up now.
15:08I'm welling up now.
15:09Oh.
15:11Like, she's such a big girl.
15:14I'm not in a, like, you get me drift.
15:16Yeah.
15:17And I'm just like, she's just straight in.
15:19She went, high five, straight in.
15:21Not arsed.
15:22Yeah, don't give a shit about me now.
15:24Go on.
15:24Daddy's just have to cry in the car.
15:26You have a nice day.
15:28I'm going to have a little sob in the car park.
15:30On Thursday night, it was time to set sail and go full steam ahead into the brand new series of
15:36this on BBC One.
15:38Hey, seeing us watching this, did you book an holiday?
15:40No.
15:41Oh, yeah, I did.
15:42I'm Skegness.
15:45Race across the world.
15:47Skegness.
15:48Yeah.
15:48Race across the Humber Bridge.
15:53Do they go around the whole world?
15:56Yeah.
15:57You know what, right?
15:58Because that takes 365 days, I think.
16:01No, it takes 365 days for the sun to orbit the Earth.
16:06No, it doesn't.
16:07No.
16:08To get around the whole Earth, it would take a year.
16:12The sun.
16:13Not a person.
16:14The sun.
16:18Salermo in Sicily.
16:20How lovely.
16:21Equipped with the essentials.
16:23Right, Molly, are you ready for this?
16:25I can't love.
16:26Time to find out where the race will take them.
16:28Your final destination is Hat Gal.
16:31Hat Gal.
16:32Where is that?
16:33Hat Gal.
16:35Hat Gal?
16:35Hat Gal, you know.
16:37Where the hell is that?
16:39Yeah.
16:39In Jamaica.
16:40First checkpoint.
16:42Fiskado.
16:43Fiskado.
16:45Fiskado.
16:46Fiskado.
16:47Fiskado.
16:47Greece, that's giving Greece.
16:48No, it's not.
16:49That's giving Greece.
16:50Fiskado.
16:50To the east, in the wind-dark sea of the Ionian archipelago, the Greek village of Fiskado.
17:27Oh, you're right.
17:27Well done, darling.
17:28It isn't boding well, is it?
17:29Well, they're youngsters.
17:30They need to ask somebody.
17:31Come on, go and ask someone how to get to Fiskado.
17:34Here it says that it's a village in Greece.
17:37Oh.
17:38Well done.
17:38She's Googled it.
17:39Oh, she's Googled it.
17:41Clever.
17:41So, I think the fastest way is if we can find a ferry over to Naples, I'm sure that we
17:46can connect very quick, sort of up, across and down.
17:50OK, now you're talking.
17:51Now we're talking.
17:51Now you're talking, bruv, come on.
17:53So, there's always an option to get somewhere via water rather than having to fly.
17:59Mm-hm.
18:00I didn't know that.
18:00Two lads are over there.
18:02Oh.
18:02So, they're doing the same as us.
18:05Yeah.
18:05We can give them the game face eyes.
18:07I'm Joe and Molly, are they now, with Joe and Kush?
18:10Yeah.
18:10That must be, well, at least you know you're on level peg in, don't you?
18:13Well, at least you know you're going the right way.
18:15Yeah.
18:16After that, we just take an island hop then to Cephalonia.
18:19A smaller ferry to Cephalonia.
18:20Yes, perfect.
18:21See?
18:22Father and daughter, look at that.
18:24Doing so well together.
18:25That could be us.
18:26And how much will it be for two?
18:28Sorry about that.
18:29Five, six, three.
18:31Ooh, that's quite a lot of that budget.
18:33We're ten short.
18:35Aw.
18:36Is there any way we can change money?
18:37Oh, they need to change the currency.
18:39Oh, that's going to delay Molly and Andrew.
18:42Well, yeah, because they've got to go and change money now, haven't they?
18:44Or we won't be able to go on this ferry.
18:46Many of the boys have got their ticket.
18:48You wouldn't give us a tenner for a tenner, no?
18:49Aw, it's a shame.
18:51Do I not?
18:51It's a shame.
18:53I ain't going to lie.
18:55I'm right there with you.
18:56I'm right there.
18:57Oh, no, I'd feel too bad.
18:59I'd have to help.
19:00I feel like we should help them out.
19:02Yes, help them out.
19:04Oh, good karma.
19:05It's a race.
19:06No.
19:07Oh, lad, what are you trying?
19:10What are you trying?
19:11What are you trying?
19:12Oh, you would be.
19:14Excuse me.
19:15We need to get our ferry ticket.
19:17Would you have ten euro and I'll give you ten pounds sterling?
19:20Good.
19:21Grazie.
19:22I can bug you with that.
19:23That's what I'm doing, is that?
19:24Oh, yes!
19:25Oh.
19:26Oh, look at that.
19:28Oh, someone soaped the mail.
19:30After a long haul ferry to Greece, the teams took to their heels for the race to the first
19:36checkpoint.
19:38Continuing on foot, look for the local map stand.
19:41That's the map stand.
19:42Map stand.
19:42And if you can find an off-road shortcut.
19:44An off-road shortcut?
19:46To your first checkpoint, Hotel Emelisi.
19:49Oh, that's nice!
19:50They've got the hotel where they need to go.
19:52I mean, that's quite confusing.
19:54Oh, nice.
19:54You just find an off-road shortcut behind the back of the trees, see the brown cat, go left,
19:58hang a right, and then go through the well, and you're at your hotel.
20:01And you'll be there.
20:02We need to find the maps.
20:04There's one here.
20:05Right, Molly, this way.
20:06Wait a minute.
20:07No.
20:07There's the map stand.
20:09No, it's not a map stand.
20:10Well, what's that?
20:11That's a bloody map stand, you silly guests.
20:14What's that then, Andrew?
20:15Scotch mist.
20:17Hotel.
20:17There it is.
20:18Oh, it's right there.
20:19Oh, the lads, they're on it.
20:20Oh, come on.
20:21Surely they're in the lead.
20:22Can we find a lot of water?
20:24Yeah.
20:24Cush and Joe seem to be doing well now.
20:26They seem to have got it in the red now, aren't they?
20:28I've seen three of these.
20:30It is.
20:31I was right.
20:32Yes, you were right, Molly.
20:33You absolutely were bang on the money.
20:35You were right.
20:36We need to go back up the headline.
20:37Oh, you'd be fuming with your dad if he wasn't listening to you and you were right all along.
20:43See, we would also become insufferable if we were right and the person we were with was wrong.
20:48We couldn't let that go.
20:49You say, Bob, can you do it in ten seconds?
20:51Yeah.
20:51Who's he going to be?
20:53Molly, come on.
20:54What?
20:55Andrew's puffed up, mate.
20:57Yeah.
20:57Well, I would be if I had a fucking house on me back like that.
21:00Oh, my God.
21:01Let's get him in and sign that book.
21:04There's the book.
21:04There's the book.
21:05There's the book.
21:06And the pen.
21:06I don't want the pen.
21:08Sorry.
21:10Oh, bastard.
21:11Every time.
21:13Cliffhanger.
21:14It's almost like they want us to watch the next one.
21:16Well, I won't now.
21:17The principal.
21:18I absolutely will.
21:19Sam Hultz.
21:23In Leeds.
21:24I said to Nat this morning, I went, I says, Nat, I've decided.
21:28I went, I don't think I want to have another baby this year.
21:31I want to wait till next year.
21:32Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
21:34And he actually jumped up like this and started doing a happy dance like that.
21:41And he was like going, hallelujah, hallelujah.
21:48And I says to him, well, I went, nah, I went, I am going to want to have one next
21:52year.
21:52I just think I've got too many projects on this year to be able to have a baby.
21:56He went, I'm going to start a project next year.
21:59I went, oh, yeah, what project are you going to start?
22:02He went, I'm going to put a swimming pool in that garden.
22:06I shouldn't have told him that.
22:08Gives him time to book him for a snake.
22:10Yeah, exactly.
22:14This week, there was fresh meat heading up the aisle down under on E4.
22:19Oh, it's my favourite manned at first sight.
22:23You do like this, don't you?
22:24I do.
22:25I was going to renew my house.
22:26Well, I wanted to.
22:28But Ray didn't.
22:28No.
22:33People used to, years ago, talk about the cost of getting married.
22:37Nowadays.
22:38It's the cost of getting divorced.
22:39Exactly.
22:40That's why we're still together.
22:42Yeah.
22:42Can't afford it, can we?
22:44No.
22:44Next to enter the experiment is an extroverted bride who is hoping to find her equally eccentric soulmate.
22:52Oh, this sounds like me, extroverted and eccentric.
22:55I'm Juliette, I'm 27 and I'm a receptionist from Melbourne.
22:58Oh, Juliette, Juliette.
23:01So I just like to say yes to almost everything.
23:03Me too.
23:05She's probably got a car sticker that says, one life, live it.
23:10I'm Joel, I'm 31, I'm from Sydney and I'm a model.
23:13He's fucking 31.
23:14I'm older than him.
23:21Hey, he looks nice in that suit, doesn't he?
23:24He's good looking.
23:25He's catalogue material, Em.
23:27Catalogue?
23:28Yeah.
23:28Oh, it's a catalogue nowadays.
23:30Well, no, but that's...
23:31Here's catalogue or was it Littlewoods?
23:32Yeah, both.
23:34Grattons.
23:34So I'm a model now, which I never thought in my wildest dreams would ever happen.
23:38I was a fat Uber driver for six years.
23:40A fat Uber driver?
23:42For six years?
23:43See, Dad, look, miracles can happen.
23:46What were you like?
23:47What's going on?
23:48Are they going to actually show that?
23:49Like, I want them to.
23:51Like, that's a request.
23:52Are you having a laugh?
23:55Is that the same guy?
23:56Yes.
23:57That's an interesting angle.
23:59He was a fat Uber driver.
24:05Here comes the bride.
24:06Here comes Juliet.
24:08How are we going, guys?
24:14Why did we turn around like that, Debbie?
24:17Hi.
24:18That was a really weird turn.
24:20That really was.
24:21Hi, hubby.
24:22Hello, darling.
24:24You look gorgeous.
24:25Okay, he's saying all the right things.
24:27Well, this isn't your typical man meets woman story.
24:31What's he mean?
24:31What's he mean by that?
24:33From the moment I saw you, I just had this funny feeling that it was going to take less than
24:36two sidings to marry you.
24:39What?
24:40Is that another shit joke?
24:41Okay, carry on, Joel.
24:43Who is this perfectly manicured, dapper, suave, sexy...
24:47Modest.
24:48Modest.
24:48Don't forget modest.
24:49...who says what he thinks and who is unapologetically himself at all times,
24:52with no acceptance for anyone, anything, anytime, or anyplace!
24:56He reminds me of Borat.
24:59Oh, yeah.
25:00It's like a spoof.
25:02He's like, he's a spoof.
25:03Joel's an extravagant man, for sure, but I love that about him.
25:07Oh, okay.
25:09She likes him.
25:10Well, see, she wants something different.
25:12Yeah, she's definitely going to get something different.
25:14Yeah, like a clown.
25:15I think he's going to make me laugh a lot, and that's something I said to the experts.
25:18I want someone to make me laugh.
25:20Oh, why did you say that?
25:22Yeah.
25:23Why did you tell the experts that?
25:25You see, now, if you were in Juliet's position and I was your brother there, you know, watching all this
25:30unfold,
25:31I'd be saying, let's just pull a plug on this.
25:33Yeah.
25:33The dude's obviously a helmet.
25:36And it wasn't long until Joel had another speech to make.
25:40Good evening, everyone, and thank you for coming.
25:43It's the wedding dinner.
25:44Oh, God, he's got to do another speech, darling.
25:46Somebody needs to take the mic off for Joel.
25:48Please.
25:49One thing about me is that I have an insatiable appetite, not just for food, but for life.
25:54Oh.
25:54For love, and of course, for my love, yes.
26:00You called him Borat, and he just did Borat.
26:03Oh, my God.
26:05Oh, real recognize real.
26:06He's based his personality off of Borat.
26:08I hope you're excited to move in with me because I'm a real catch.
26:11Think more along the lines of anchovy than bluefin tuna.
26:15Um.
26:15Okay.
26:16Nobody's laughing.
26:18Yeah.
26:19I'm only joking.
26:21I'm talking about my old self, which was smelly and undesirable.
26:25Oh, nice.
26:26My hay fever is so ferocious, you can hear me sneezing from outer space.
26:30Oh, no.
26:31It's unattractive.
26:33And when I'm not sneezing, I'm snorting.
26:34Oh!
26:36Where every three seconds I have an urge to clear sewage from my throat.
26:40Oh!
26:40Oh, what?
26:42Why is he saying things like this?
26:44Through highs and lows, my loyalty will remain as strong as my B.O. after a Barry's class.
26:48Oh, yuck.
26:49Oh, God.
26:52I wouldn't even sit there waiting for the sweet, I'd be off.
26:58Anything nice to say about Juliet?
27:01Somehow, I've got a feeling, Juliet, opinion's starting to change a little.
27:06Yeah, I'm definitely a bit worried.
27:09A bit worried?
27:10I'd be very worried.
27:11I'd be running for the hill's pit.
27:13She's thinking, we've got ourselves a fucking line.
27:16This isn't legally behind it, is it, love?
27:18Just double-checking.
27:20It's not legal, is it?
27:22You know, it's just a fictional thing.
27:25They want to call it off at any time.
27:27LAUGHTER
27:36In Manchester...
27:37I don't think Martha looks like you, sweetie.
27:40She looks like Dad.
27:41She does.
27:42She looks like her dad.
27:43She looks like Dan.
27:44Yeah.
27:44Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena.
27:49Oh, look at her little feet.
27:51Look at her little feet.
27:53She's been collecting in her hand fibres and mulch.
27:58I see.
27:59And I've been having to remove it from her, but I thought you could do some felting with that.
28:03Well, that's a little keepsay.
28:04Yeah, that'd be nice.
28:05It'd stink.
28:07But she's very good at collecting fibre.
28:11That's like belly buttons, though, isn't it?
28:13Hmm.
28:14Has she got a good belly button?
28:15Looks like a cinnamon swirl.
28:17Oh, does it?
28:18Yeah.
28:18That's nice.
28:19On Tuesday, some familiar face has had tips and tricks for a better life on the BBC.
28:24I love self-help books and manuals, Nutty.
28:29There was one I bought called Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle.
28:33Well, it's not for you.
28:35That's right.
28:36We all want simple ways to feel better.
28:39Maybe you want to know how to kickstart your day.
28:42Absolutely, I do want to know how to kickstart my day.
28:45Stay in bed another hour.
28:46Yeah.
28:48All the cameras out.
28:49Or perhaps.
28:50You having trouble remembering things?
28:52Oh, dear.
28:52Oh, Sarah, more fish.
28:54Mum?
28:54More salmon.
28:56Following in the footsteps of Dr Michael Moseley in his hit podcast, Just One Thing.
29:01Sad about Michael Moseley passing, isn't it?
29:03Please, yeah.
29:04He wanted to encourage people.
29:06And the idea was if you did just one thing, it would be better than nothing.
29:10And it could make a huge difference.
29:12I can't believe how much it has changed my life.
29:17Just one thing, that's it, you see?
29:19I want to know the secret, the just one thing.
29:23But I don't know if I do, because then I might actually have to do something.
29:26Exactly.
29:26I don't want to do anything, not even one thing.
29:30Now, I know it can be easy to worry when starting a brand new fitness and health regime.
29:35I've got a gym pass and I use it for the cafe.
29:39It's a nice cafe.
29:41It is.
29:41But I have just one thing that can increase strength, improve blood sugars and even give us stronger bones.
29:49All for the minimum effort possible.
29:52More for that, aren't you?
29:54Minimum effort.
29:54That sounds good.
29:56This is us.
29:56This is us.
29:57Totally.
29:58Minimum effort.
29:58The last bit, minimum effort.
30:00Yeah, that's what we need.
30:01I'm on my way to meet 70-year-old retiree...
30:04Martin, come!
30:07Alistair, whose exercise journey has been far from easy.
30:11Hello!
30:12Hey, Roman, hello!
30:13Hello, it's Alistair.
30:15Take a seat.
30:16Thank you, I will.
30:17Thank you very much.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Your just one thing is...
30:22What?
30:24Easy exercise.
30:26What's he laughing for?
30:27What are we going to do?
30:28We're going to stand up.
30:29Okay, I can do that.
30:30Right?
30:30Right.
30:30Or we're going to stand up.
30:32I'm not standing up, pal.
30:33I want you to sit down.
30:34Uh-huh.
30:35Slowly.
30:36Oh, yeah.
30:37Got you.
30:38The squatting.
30:39Come on, let's give it a quick look.
30:40Ready?
30:40I like the one easy.
30:41What are we going to do?
30:41We're going to stand up.
30:42Oh!
30:44Dad's out.
30:47One, two...
30:48Right.
30:49Three.
30:50Ready?
30:50Right.
30:51Okay, I can do that.
30:52Ready?
30:52Right.
30:52Oh!
30:54I feel like pulling on my calf now.
30:56Oh, really?
30:58Yeah.
30:59Four.
30:59You feel it on your legs.
31:00Five.
31:01And we're sat.
31:03Oh!
31:03Ah!
31:05Oh, did you win?
31:06That's one leg.
31:08Four.
31:08Five.
31:09Well done.
31:10That wasn't bad.
31:12Do you want to stand up now to the count of five?
31:14No, I'd have a heart attack.
31:15Most adults in the UK sit down for eight hours or more each day.
31:20And you do a lot more than that.
31:21Of sitting down?
31:22Yeah.
31:23I'd sit down more than eight hours a day.
31:25Absolutely.
31:27Shay, talk to your dad.
31:28Yeah!
31:29So my list of exercises are keeping the group on their toes.
31:33Am I doing it right?
31:34Yeah.
31:34Oh, I fell.
31:35It's the lowering down slowly that's the easy exercise part.
31:39And it's been no sweat, literally, for Linda.
31:42Oh, Linda, go yourself.
31:44As she's smashing her heel-lowering and wall press-ups.
31:49Slower going towards the fridge door than it is when I'm coming away from it.
31:54I can see that's quite good, quite easy.
31:56Imagine if you were, like, walking past Linda's house and you saw her doing that.
31:59Yeah.
31:59What were you doing, Linda?
32:00Oh, poor Linda, she's lusted.
32:04And she has more top tips when it comes to arm-lowering.
32:08All I use is two cans of soup.
32:10Oh.
32:10Oh, hang on, what's Linda doing?
32:13She never stops, Linda.
32:14So it's just a case of arms up and then slowly down.
32:20There you go.
32:21Go on, girl.
32:22See, you can do that while the kettle's boiling.
32:24Yes, you could.
32:26Before you go and sit down.
32:28This is six kg.
32:36Look at that.
32:38Shoulder press.
32:39See, I could do that exercise.
32:41That exercise is fun.
32:42You don't need tinder soup.
32:43You just need a sausage dog.
32:44Exactly.
32:48In Yorkshire.
32:49Oh, look what we've got for Easter.
32:51They're real-life chickens.
32:53Mum, mum.
32:54Oh, my God, they're little chickens.
32:57Sarah and her daughter-in-law, Lara.
33:00Oh, my goodness.
33:01Aren't they adorable?
33:01Oh, they are adorable.
33:03Are they going down to Bev?
33:04Yeah, they're going to move in with Bev.
33:06They're going to be proper grown-up chickens.
33:08Oh, we love you.
33:09Bless you, darling.
33:10Hello, Millie and Molly, or whatever you're called.
33:13I'm not sure we're allowed to name them yet.
33:15Yeah, I might go put them in their warm...
33:17Yeah, put them in their...
33:18Thank you, darling, for showing them to us.
33:20They're lovely.
33:21Little babies.
33:22All right.
33:23Bye-bye, chickens.
33:24Happy Easter.
33:27On Friday, there was a regional crime
33:29making the headlines on the BBC.
33:31Well, it's the con...
33:34Fuck's sake.
33:35Why does it always land butter-side down?
33:41Fudge, you'll lick it off for you.
33:44Fudge, you'll clean it for you.
33:46It's what dogs are good for.
33:47I have started watching the news
33:50whilst I'm on the treadmill,
33:51cos it's half an hour.
33:53And I feel like it's a good use of time.
33:55It's all about stacking habits.
33:57So I'm working out and burning calories,
34:00but I'm also keeping abreast of current affairs.
34:04You mean depressing yourself?
34:05Well, no, not always,
34:06cos sometimes they have, like, a nice little juicy fun story.
34:08Now, the residents of two villages in East Yorkshire
34:11are scratching their heads over a vintage mystery.
34:14Oh.
34:15Oh.
34:15Oh, I heard about this on the radio.
34:18Bags full of empty bottles of New Zealand wine
34:21keep being dumped on grass verges.
34:23Christ, who's dumping, huh?
34:25They must be bloody pissed, drinking all that.
34:28At least they're putting them in bags.
34:30Yeah, they're not complete animals.
34:32Leaving people in Hutham and North Cave
34:34wondering who has acquired such a taste for Sauvignon Blanc.
34:38Ooh, somebody's got a bit of a penchant for Sauvignon Blanc.
34:41And fly-tipping.
34:43Yeah.
34:44Well, you can cut me out of the enquiries,
34:47cos I'm white Zinfandel.
34:48I would never be savvy bee.
34:50Yeah.
34:51At first sight,
34:52the villages of Hutham and North Cave
34:54are typical picturesque East Yorkshire villages.
34:58What's going on in Hutham?
35:00I know, isn't it, yeah?
35:01I mean, what a beautiful place
35:02to have all them bottles dumped.
35:03Aunty Jane's just been to Whitby.
35:05It wasn't her, or it?
35:06Well, no, it's not Aunty Jane,
35:08because she likes Pinot Grigio.
35:10But beneath the surface,
35:12there's a crime involving wine.
35:14That's happening repeatedly.
35:16I'll tell you what,
35:17my sister lives out there, doesn't she?
35:19She likes a drop of wine, Janet.
35:22Residents say hundreds of empty bottles
35:24of Sauvignon Blanc.
35:26Someone's been going hard.
35:27Yeah.
35:28So that one with the blue top,
35:29that's an oyster bear.
35:30I love your knowledge of mid-range white wine
35:33available from a supermarket near you.
35:36Particularly Villa Maria,
35:38said to pair nicely with seafood
35:39and tangy goat's cheese.
35:41Alois loves a Villa Maria Sauvignon Blanc.
35:43It's Alois' favourite.
35:45Oh, I wonder if it's Alois.
35:47Well, we've found where you can buy Villa Maria from.
35:49This is Tesco,
35:50the nearest major supermarket from Hotham,
35:52five and a half miles away.
35:53And this is £10.75 a bottle.
35:56£10.75.
35:57Well, it won't be you then.
35:59That's one thing.
36:00I'll count you out.
36:02Villagers have told us
36:03when they catch the culprit,
36:04they'll have a drink to celebrate,
36:06but it won't be white wine.
36:08I bet everybody's looking at each other
36:10in the village now.
36:11He likes a drink.
36:12Yeah.
36:13And she do.
36:14All I would do is,
36:15if somebody's drunk 48 bottles of wine,
36:16who's got a really red face
36:18and nose in the local area,
36:21that should give it away.
36:30In South East London...
36:33Can I tell you the story?
36:34There I was out there
36:35cleaning the drive up the other day.
36:38Yeah.
36:38And the lady from across the road,
36:40oh, she said,
36:41I've got some printing here for you.
36:43Sue and her husband, Steve.
36:45I said, for me?
36:47She said, yeah.
36:49Was you trying to print this off?
36:51You know the report for the eyes?
36:54When you went to Cataract?
36:54Yeah.
36:55I went, yeah.
36:56What, it went over the road to their house?
36:58Printed it over there.
37:00It saves on paper and ink, doesn't it?
37:04Hey!
37:05So it's gone to the house?
37:07It's gone over the road.
37:09How the hell have I managed that?
37:12This week, top-tier comics
37:14were still trying not to chuckle
37:16on Prime Video.
37:20Why is it...
37:20Why are you laughing like that?
37:22Because it's the last one laughing, Mary.
37:24I was just getting it out of my system.
37:29Who will be the last one to laugh?
37:32Probably Amazon.
37:33Because ultimately,
37:34they're making money out of this.
37:36In the final,
37:38it was Sam Campbell and David Mitchell
37:40going head-to-head.
37:41I think we've done...
37:43We've acquitted ourselves well.
37:45It's the two driest people that are left.
37:48They're going to have a dry-off.
37:49And Jimmy had a trick up his sleeve.
37:52OK, we've got to find a winner.
37:55Oh, how lovely.
37:57It's the trolley.
37:58Trolley.
37:58Why is he taking afternoon tea in?
38:01Hi, guys.
38:02Congratulations on making it this far.
38:04Yes.
38:05Please take a seat.
38:05I'm immediately looking at the squirty cream.
38:08Yeah.
38:09Oh, yeah.
38:09As a special treat,
38:10I've got some delicious food for you.
38:12You can eat as much as you like,
38:14but there is a catch.
38:15You have to feed each other.
38:16No!
38:17Oh, for goodness sake!
38:20Oh, my God.
38:21They've got to feed each other.
38:22How are they going to keep a straight face doing that?
38:25Do you like some squirty cream?
38:26Yeah.
38:28Me and David are on the same page.
38:30Oh, my God.
38:37I will be gone already.
38:40Yeah.
38:40I will be gone.
38:41I'll have a squirt.
38:42Oh, will you ever?
38:44Oh, my God.
38:49Oh, my God.
38:50Oh, he's looking at me real seductive.
38:53Nat could seduce me with a can of squirty cream like that.
38:56Oh, you'd be putty in his hands, wouldn't you?
38:58Don't make it sexual.
38:59No, no, no.
39:00Whatever you do.
39:01Oh, David.
39:03Oh, God.
39:04Gee, I'd be all blessed.
39:06I would have been a crack, though, you know.
39:08Ever seen a little flick, Lady and the Trap?
39:11Oh.
39:11I think you'd have to take control of one in.
39:14Yeah, yeah.
39:14Oh, no!
39:15No, don't do Lady and the Trap.
39:16You'll ruin a clears for everyone.
39:23Don't back off.
39:26Oh, my God.
39:28Oh, God.
39:32How they're still not laughing?
39:34I don't get it.
39:35Banana.
39:37You think so?
39:38Yeah, OK.
39:39No, not a banana.
39:40Oh, this is going to be sexual.
39:42Oh, no.
39:44Eat it.
39:47No, I'm done.
39:48I'm done.
39:49The eye contact.
39:54Is it banana-y?
39:58How are they doing that with a straight face?
40:00It's really good.
40:01Maybe the potassium.
40:03Maybe the potassium.
40:05No, that sounds great.
40:09OK, we're going to count down.
40:10You have ten seconds remaining.
40:12Nobody's going to laugh here now.
40:13Ten seconds remaining.
40:15Uh-oh.
40:15You've put out all the stops.
40:16Put out all the stops.
40:18David.
40:19Seven.
40:21Just tickle them.
40:22Tickle them.
40:23Right, just launch all the food at each other.
40:25Food fight.
40:26Three.
40:27Two.
40:37Oh, wow.
40:39Fair play.
40:41Both of them didn't crack.
40:42Nobody.
40:43Nobody even smirked.
40:45You've both played an incredible game.
40:49One of you will be declared the winner of Last One Laughing.
40:52Who's it going to be?
40:53The person that caused the most laughs today is...
40:58David.
40:59Sam.
41:00Sam even made Bob Martin a laugh and he won it last time.
41:04David Mitchell.
41:05Oh, he's won.
41:06Oh, he won it.
41:07David was always going to be really hard to beat, though.
41:10You don't laugh at me a lot.
41:11No, I don't have to laugh at you, Lee.
41:13I do laugh at you, sometimes.
41:16Are you laughing at me or with me?
41:18I'm laughing with you.
41:20You're a liar.
41:21You're a liar.
41:25In Wiltshire...
41:27I've had the whole packet of cheese scones.
41:30Why?
41:30Well, you know these pregnancy-style cravings that women have?
41:35Yeah.
41:35I had a pregnancy-style craving for cheese scones.
41:38Giles and his wife, Mary.
41:40Well, I'm going to have to punish you.
41:43I've put on half a stone.
41:45Yeah, I'm not surprised.
41:46I'm going to have to get some sort of thing like a taser
41:48and taser you when you've eaten.
41:51Taser.
41:52Taser.
41:53Taser.
41:54For domestic use.
41:55You'll be tasered the next time you go to that oven.
42:00On Tuesday, there were more Sandy celebs getting surprised on Paramount+.
42:05I never actually really asked about your past dating life.
42:08You don't want to know.
42:09Let's start now.
42:11Ask away, Harry.
42:12We haven't got enough time.
42:12We've got to watch this now.
42:14The celebs have landed in paradise.
42:17There's my favourite place, Mary.
42:19Where?
42:20Tenerife.
42:23Was that Jedward?
42:25He's called Edwin or something from Boy Burned.
42:28Is he?
42:30Jesus, what's going on?
42:31I'm Irish.
42:32There's only so much sun I can take.
42:33It is Jedward.
42:34Oh, my God.
42:36It's coming back to me who he is, Nutty.
42:38He's called Cedric or something.
42:42I have not watched this in years.
42:45I think watching this is going to validate the whole reason why I don't normally watch this anyway.
42:52I'm only tuning in because Jedward's on it.
42:54I can't believe it.
42:57I'm Helen.
42:58Helen Flanagan.
42:59Rosa.
43:00Rosa.
43:01I'm John.
43:03Oh, John.
43:07I am an international pop star.
43:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
43:11They're international.
43:13I think they are, eh?
43:14What?
43:15With my twin brother, Edward, from Jedward.
43:18Jedward!
43:19Didn't I say Cedric, Mary?
43:21I was almost...
43:22I said Cedric or Edwin.
43:24I'm feeling Jeffic and Jexy.
43:27Well, I have always found them a little bit ginoying, to be honest.
43:31But let's see how he fares on this.
43:34Yeah.
43:35Jaluded.
43:35I think he'll see you.
43:38Hello, girls.
43:39God, what are the girls going to see about this bunch?
43:42Look who it is.
43:44How does he do that?
43:44He looks old and young at the same time.
43:46What is going on right now?
43:47I think I've slid in your DMs and give us your love.
43:49Oh, I've slid in your DMs.
43:51Oh.
43:52I want Jedward to slide into my DMs.
43:55You're too old.
43:56Look at this.
43:58We've got the song.
43:59We've got the breeze.
44:00We've got Helen Flanagan in her leopard print.
44:04Oh, he likes Helen, doesn't he?
44:06Oh, he likes Helen.
44:07It's date night.
44:09It's date night.
44:11Oh, it's date night.
44:12How lovely.
44:13Who's going with two now?
44:14Who's going with two?
44:15Girls, you are in control.
44:17Oh, no.
44:19It's up to you to decide which boy you want to date.
44:24I hope this isn't like, you know, when you're getting picked for sport for PE.
44:28I'm really torn between Toby and John.
44:32Oh, good.
44:32She did say John.
44:34Oh, she did say John.
44:34He's got a chance.
44:35Come on.
44:36She was with that footballer, wasn't she?
44:38And then she's gone for David Hay.
44:40So, natural progression.
44:41You would go for a member of Jedward.
44:43Yeah.
44:44Toby, I feel like I get on with him, personality-wise.
44:47Also with John as well, because he's really funny and he's quirky.
44:50Oh, he's too quirky for me.
44:52The Irish do tend to be good fun.
44:54Giles, have you noticed?
44:56Yes.
44:57They've got picky bits on the table.
44:59Picky bits.
44:59A little bit of picky bits.
44:59A little picky bit one, you know?
45:01Yeah.
45:02There's actually picky bits on the table.
45:04That's our generation.
45:06It's awful.
45:07Remember, lads, open body language.
45:09Not too open, though.
45:09Straight open.
45:10How you doing?
45:10Not too open.
45:11Not that's a bit much.
45:14Please pick John, Helen.
45:16Hey, John.
45:17Who's this?
45:18She's going for Jedwin, Natty.
45:19That is like Leicester winning the Premier League.
45:22That is the analogy I would give.
45:24Shall I have a drink, darling?
45:25Yeah, wish I can feed you a raspberry, because that's really nice.
45:27Are you going to feed me now?
45:28Yeah, there you go.
45:30There you go.
45:31And chew on it.
45:32Mmm, juicy.
45:34Chew on it.
45:35Eat that raspberry now and contain yourself.
45:38Close your eyes and swallow.
45:40I think she just finds him funny, see?
45:43You know what I mean?
45:44Where are you?
45:44His personality.
45:46I feel like my biggest achievement are definitely my children.
45:48Like, I'm obsessed with my kids.
45:49I can't see John stepping into the stepdad role.
45:52I'm sorry.
45:54John would be great with her kids.
45:57I'd be like free child entertainment.
45:59It'd be like taking him to a holiday camp if he were in your front room.
46:02Exactly.
46:03I'd love one more.
46:04I'd love to have one more.
46:05Shall we go up to the bedroom?
46:07Blink in, eh?
46:09Look at your face!
46:13You might be able to laugh for into bed, are you?
46:15You never know, do you?
46:16If you and I went to a beach and all of your exes were there...
46:18There'd be no sunbeds left.
46:20There would be no room on the beach.
46:22The lifeguard would have closed the beach.
46:24Yeah.
46:25Literally be rammed.
46:26It's nothing to be proud of.
46:27Oh, no, I'm sorry.
46:33You can stream Married at First Sight now,
46:37ahead of a new episode, Easter Monday at half seven on E4.
46:40But for anybody who doesn't fancy going from nought to married
46:44and has completed all the apps,
46:46well, get yourself a thread.
46:48First Dates returns next Friday night.
46:50We'll pick you up at ten.
46:56You can stream Married at First Sight now,
46:58and we'll be talking about it.
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