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00:05my mom called me a liar from the day i was born not because i actually lied but because of
00:10this
00:10thing around my neck the verity choker mom was luna of silver moon pack and she believed one
00:15thing above all lying was the mark of a weak wolf we were her daughters future alpha heirs
00:21weakness was not an option so when my twin sister emma and i were born mom clasped these chokers
00:27around our throats which had witch magic to detect lies green light means truth red light means you
00:33were lying emma's choker always green she could shred mom's ceremonial cloak and blame the cat
00:39and gem would glow a steady green not me green light believed me mom i'm hungry and flash red
00:49light the choker choked tight i shifted on instinct a small white wolf pawing desperately at the gem
00:55around my neck claws scraping against it unable to get it off i'm not lying not lying please but mom's
01:02eyes had already gone cold instant punishment mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in my room
01:09no contact with anyone in the pack the truth necklace doesn't lie stella starve now study later
01:16i'm doing this for your own good after 10 years of this i started believing it too maybe i really
01:22was
01:22born wrong new year's eve everything changed mom was getting ready to take emma to the pack's bonfire
01:28celebration and that's when the pain hit like a knife twisting in my gut i collapsed on the floor my
01:34skeletal frame curling into itself mom please the choker flashed red and choked tight she looked down at me
01:43disgusted in her eyes in your dream stella faking an illness to ruin our night she grabbed emma's hand and
01:52headed for the door i wanted to howl but my wolf was too weak to answer i shifted anyway forced
01:58it
01:58a small white wolf trembling on the floor ribs heaving maybe in this form the pain would hurt less
02:04it didn't i couldn't even hold the shift i slipped back into myself without meaning to
02:09sorry mom i won't lie anymore but the pain got worse way worse the door handle turned for one second
02:16i
02:16thought mom's coming back she came back for me hurry up the bonfire is starting emma's waiting
02:23mom i reached out with a shaking hand please something's really wrong i feel like i'm dying
02:30she glanced at my neck the gem was flashing red over and over she crouched down grabbed my chin
02:36stella how long are you gonna keep this up can't you just be honest and stay here and think about
02:43what you've done dad appeared in the doorway honey should we at least leave her some food food she has
02:51a stash of snacks she bought with stolen money she won't starve lock the door when that gem turns green
02:58will talk but but what it's because you spoil her that she turned out this way look at emma her
03:07gem has
03:08always been green stella is a liar an alpha heiress who can't tell the truth she needs discipline but my
03:15cabinet was empty emma stole that money emma ate those snacks emma just stood there with her glowing green
03:23gem saying not me and mom believed her i tried to defend myself it wasn't me red light the choker
03:31choked tight i tried to shift nothing happened deep inside my wolf barely stirred mom locked me up for
03:39three days with nothing but water and stale bread mom turned to leave emma peeked through the door made a
03:45face at me bye sis we're gonna see the bonfire her gem glowed a steady green so pretty the door
03:54locked
03:54the house went silent i called my wolf nothing came back not even a whisper just me alone the pain
04:03was
04:04unbearable but i kept thinking mom's right the gem doesn't lie it's red so i must be lying i'm not
04:13in
04:13pain i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i kept repeating it like a prayer eventually i almost
04:22believed it the pain dulled or maybe i was just going numb i crawled to my desk i had to
04:30write that
04:31was the rule if the gem glowed red i had to pen a thousand word apology or mom would never
04:38let me out
04:39i am a liar write it down and maybe mom would forgive me maybe she'd even let me out i
04:47opened
04:47my journal pages and pages of apologies i'd written over the years sorry i lied i won't do it again
04:55but this time i wanted to write the truth my vision blurred my hand shook as i wrote mom
05:02mom i really love you it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me just once the moment
05:12i finished the last word the pain vanished just gone i felt light weightless i looked down i was floating
05:21and there slumped over the desk was my body motionless the gem still flashing red around
05:29a dead girl's neck oh i'm dead and then she came out my wolf stepping out of my body like
05:37she'd been
05:38waiting all along small skinny barely holding together she looked up at me and once soft and low
05:47in the pack's old stories they say when a wolf dies young her spirit doesn't cross over alone
05:53her wolf walks beside her until they find the door together i knelt down she pressed her nose into my
06:01ghostly palm finally we were together now but i never learned how to be honest sorry mom i heard
06:09laughter mom dad emma coming through the front door tonight's bonfire was beautiful the best one yet
06:18just like our emma perfect in every way i'd never heard her sound like that when she talked about me
06:25i floated toward them my wolf patting silently at my side moving on instinct i wanted to help them take
06:32off their cloaks that's what i always did mom my arms passed right through her body like wind is it
06:39so
06:40cold here is the hearthee out i stood there staring at my transparent hands my wolf pressed against my
06:47leg and looked up at me with sad eyes right dead wolves couldn't hug the living shall we go and
06:53see
06:53stella she hasn't eaten yet still the good cop i looked at mom hopefully if she found me dead
07:00would she be sad would she regret it she won't starve she is a werewolf not a human pup this
07:09whole
07:10fake sick for attention thing is out of control i laughed bitterly mom wasn't wrong werewolves heal
07:17but i hadn't been able to in a long time last winter the choker left bruises that stayed for days
07:24that hadn't happened before i reached for my wolf she was still there but the warmth never came
07:29she was too hungry just like me mom never noticed she only ever looked at my neck for one thing
07:38the
07:38gem and whether it was red or green mom pushed open my door didn't even turn on the light just
07:45for a
07:45second her eyes flashed gold her wolf might have known mom didn't listen in the dim glow from the
07:51hallway she saw me slumped over my desk i looked like a skeleton hadn't moved still putting on an act
08:00you're ten years old not five grow up mom i'm not playing i'm dead look at me touch me i'm
08:09freezing
08:10she couldn't hear me she only believed what she wanted to see emma squeezed past her held up her
08:16choker with that smug little grin look my gem is green stella's is still red she's lying even in her
08:23sleep that's my good girl ignore the liar let her stay there maybe she'll learn how to be honest
08:31should we at least put her in bed it's freezing put her in bed look at that red gem still
08:38lying come on
08:40leave her we have to visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again i floated next to my corpse my
08:47wolf curled silently at my feet staring at that single point of red light in the darkness mom if
08:53you just stepped closer if you just touched my hand you'd know i was ice cold but you didn't you
09:00believed the choker not the daughter you carried for nine months that night a rat crawled out of my
09:06empty cabinet i used to scream whenever i saw rats but now i just floated by the ceiling watching it
09:12scurry across my dead body the rat bit into my toe i didn't feel anything my wolf charged at it
09:19anyway
09:19and passed right through landing on the other side she turned back to look at me confused lost i pulled
09:27her close and buried my face in the fur of her back it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll
09:34be over
09:35she let out one low growl then went still against me finally no more pain for either of us the
09:43next
09:43morning sunlight streamed through the window no warmth reached my body in the kitchen i could hear mom
09:50making breakfast the smell of roasted meat crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't
09:57deserve meat so i only ever got steamed vegetables she was clanging the pots extra loud on purpose trying to
10:04tempt me out trying to make me give in and apologize for things i never did in the old days
10:10i might have
10:11caved i might have confessed to anything for one bite of roasted meat but i don't need food anymore
10:17stella still hasn't come out yet dad asked reading the pack notices she is so stubborn she can eat or
10:24not
10:25i don't care emma walked to my door and made a big show of sniffing the air then she screamed
10:33dramatically mom stella's room smells like poop did she poop in there i floated by the door watching my
10:42sister with a bitter smile my wolf sat beside me ears flat eyes low the hearth was burning hot after
10:51just
10:51one night my body started to rot mom stormed over pounding on the door stella who does that the
11:00toilet is right there did you sit on the floor to spite me i remembered being six i had food
11:06poisoning
11:07couldn't make it to the toilet in time mom didn't help me clean up she made me stand outside pointed
11:13at
11:14me and told the neighbors look at this she's such a mess she can't even use the toilet herself now
11:21she
11:21thought i was dirty again leave her let her sit in her own stink but dad stood up frowning that
11:28smells
11:29really bad i should check could it be a dead rat or something my heart if i still had one
11:36leapt
11:36dad please open the door i'm right here just turn the handle and you'll see i'm not moving
11:44i waved my transparent arms frantically my wolf ran straight to my bedroom door willing dad to open
11:51it dad's hand touched the door handle his hand froze someone was pounding at the front door a pack
11:57elder urgent business dad's face went pale he grabbed his cloak the border there's an emergency
12:04he was already out the door i froze so close one second away if that knock had come one second
12:10later i would have been found maybe then i wouldn't have rotted alone that afternoon mom took emma to
12:16the pack market the house was empty except for my corpse when they came back that evening loaded down
12:21with food and gifts from the market the smell had gotten worse mom gagged the second she walked in
12:27stella are you trying to turn this place into a den of inequity she didn't even open my door
12:33just grabbed cloth strips and sealed the gap at the bottom if you want to stay in there and make
12:37disgusting stew zoos don't stink up my house she patted her hands together satisfied then went to
12:43prepare dinner i stared at that sealed door my wolf pressed her nose against it and whimpered once so
12:49that's it i'm worth less than a venison dinner by day three even the cloth strips couldn't contain
12:54the smell mom was arranging fresh wildflowers trying to cover it up but the stench of death is
12:59unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem too hard a thorn pierced her hand she snapped in her
13:07mind i was doing this on purpose not bathing poop on the floor hiding dead rats in my room all
13:13to piss
13:14her off all to defy her authority as luna stella she grabbed a rolling pin from the kitchen storm toward
13:21my room i'm done with you you disgusting little brat time you learned what real pain feels like
13:27i floated in front of her waving my arms desperately don't come in mom please please even though she
13:36never loved me i didn't want her to see me like that but she walked right through me ripped the
13:41cloth
13:42strips off jammed the spare key into the lock the door flew open the smell hit her like a wall
13:47she
13:48stumbled back retching stella what are you doing she saw me still slumped over the desk back turned
13:55not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion i'm talking to you she marched over raised the rolling
14:02pin but stopped she wanted to see my face first wanted to see my get up she grabbed the back
14:09of my
14:09shirt grabbed my skin the moment she touched me she froze through the thin fabric her hand didn't feel
14:15warm flesh she felt cold hard dead meat the kind of cold that seeps into your bones but momentum
14:23carried her forward she yanked crash my body stiff as a board toppled backward taking the chair with it
14:30and there was my face blue black eyes bulging features twisted in agony dried foam and blood crusted
14:36around my mouth around my blackened neck the verity choker hung lifeless the gem dark no red no green just
14:45silent my journal slid off the desk fell open at mom's feet the last page stared up at her mom
14:51my
14:52stomach really hurts the choker is wrong i'm not lying please don't punish me mom screamed not a wolf's
14:59howl a raw guttural shriek that tore through her throat she stumbled backward slammed into the bookshelf
15:06a clay pot shattered but she didn't seem to feel the pain she just stared at me eyes wide unblinking
15:16no no no no this is not real stella get up stella get up get up i'm not mad anymore
15:23stop scaring me
15:26her hand reached out trembling to touch my arm the second her skin made contact with my corpse she
15:33recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was too real lisa from next door heard the screaming and
15:40went straight to the pack healer when she saw what was in my room she collapsed in the gate within
15:45the hour heavy boots on the floorboards the pack healer and a handful of pack warriors crowding the
15:51entrance mom sat on the floor a warrior's hand on her shoulder she's speaking it she's always lying
16:00it doesn't lie i'm just teaching her no one responded they all looked at her like she was
16:06a monster the pack healer crouched next to my body he muttered under his breath severe malnutrition
16:13organ failure this puppy has been starved for at least a month he carefully tried to remove the
16:19verity choker but it had fused years of tightening had pressed the leather deep into the skin of my neck
16:26damn it he had to use tools to pry it off even dead my soul flinched my wolf lifted her
16:33head and
16:35long raw desperate the kind of howl that should have shaken the walls no one heard it no one flinched
16:44we were already dead a warrior picked up my journal started reading his face went from neutral
16:50too horrified mom's eyes locked on to that book that's her confession she admits she lied look she
16:58wrote it herself the warrior pushed her back wrapped the journal in cloth and took it we'll report it to
17:06the council that's when dad got home he saw the pack healer and the pack warriors crowding the doorway
17:12saw the body wrap being carried out saw the long cord that sealed away my entire life his legs gave
17:21out he collapsed on the doorstep emma stood nearby sobbing in confusion she pointed at the discolored
17:29verity choker on the table why does stella have a black collar and i have a green one see she
17:36held up
17:36her neck the gem blinked its steady green it was grotesque the council elders arrived before dawn mom
17:44straightened when she saw them even now even with my body three days cold and rotting her luna instincts
17:51kicked in she lifted her chin squared her shoulders it didn't work today they started questioning mom in
17:58the living room mom grabbed the verity choker off the table like it was a lifeline test it that choker
18:05proved she was lying red gem means lie i never abused her the choker told me i was just educating
18:16her
18:16the council elders looked at her like she'd lost her mind the pup showed signs of extreme malnutrition
18:24months of starvation aphelion multiple old injuries consistent with prolonged that's just
18:31discipline that's teaching her to be honest then she did something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it
18:44watch it'll be green the leather pressed against her skin cold sticky that was my blood she took a
18:53deep breath tried to calm herself she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her way of raising
19:00an alpha air was right she held up the gem eyes wild listen i'm rachel i'm stella's mother this is
19:09the
19:09truth the absolute truth the gem flashed red mom's confident expression shattered
19:17i said truth i am rachel i never abused her i did it for her own good
19:27i love her and suddenly she remembered me 10 years old gasping as the choker tightened around my throat
19:36the road biting my lip so i wouldn't make a sound is this what it felt like why is it
19:43red i am telling the truth turn green
19:46you're broken you're setting me up but the gem kept flashing like it was mocking her you're a liar
19:53you're a liar you're a liar enough this is just a bloodstone i've seen it before it changes color with
20:03body heat
20:04fear pain anything that makes your heart race temperature rises it burns red that's all it does
20:12no witch magic never was think about your daughter ruptured appendix organ failure the pain must have been
20:22unbearable she was terrified and what did you see a red gem so you punished her more which made her
20:31more
20:31scared which made her temperature rise which made the stone turn redder you are luna you are supposed
20:42to protect every wolf in this pack you couldn't even protect your own daughter you ignored her cries
20:49for help you starved your daughter to death mom's world collapsed she sat there staring at the flashing gem
20:57on her own net and finally understood for 10 years every red light wasn't because i was lying it was
21:05because i was scared scared of her anger scared of being misunderstood scared of eating food that made
21:13me sick i was in pain pain that made my heart race and cold sweat pour down my face i
21:20was desperate desperate
21:21for a hug for her to hold me the way she held emma every signal from my frightened heart she
21:28had
21:28interpreted as proof of my lies no get it off
21:36i'm not lying i'm not she tried to shift fur rippling across her skin bones cracking but the leather
21:44cinched harder around her throat the moment she snapped back into human form gasping i can't get it
21:53off stella take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault this little bit of choking and she was already
22:02breaking mom i suffered for 10 years the council elders needed evidence for judgment so they opened my
22:11journal in front of my parents february 14th sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm allergic my throat
22:20swells i can't breathe i said i can't eat it but because i was scared of making her angry my
22:26body ran
22:27hot the gem flashed red the choker tightened mom said i was picky lying made me eat the whole plate
22:36that
22:37night i threw up blood my throat felt like it was on fire i shifted to ease my pain mom
22:44saw it and said
22:45i'd snuck berry juice that i was faking the choker tightened for 10 more minutes mom's hand flew to her
22:53mouth she was shaking violently she remembered that she really did think it was berry juice she didn't
23:01even look closely just turned away to read emma a bedtime story that was blood from a swollen torn
23:09throat june 1st pup's day emma shredded mom's ceremonial cloak emma's heart is always calm her gem
23:18stays green i tried to explain but i was scared of being hit my body ran hot red gem choker
23:26tightened for
23:2710 minutes it hurt so bad but i didn't cry because crying makes your body run hotter and mom thinks
23:35that means you're not sorry so i held my breath pretended it didn't hurt mom said see she doesn't
23:44even blink she's definitely faking it dad couldn't take it anymore this man who had always put the pack
23:50before his own family chose duty over his daughter for 10 years you monster what did you do that was
23:59your daughter you treated her like a stray blood at the corner of her mouth not my fault not my
24:07fault
24:07it's her it's emma emma's gem was always green emma was a good one if it wasn't for that green
24:14light
24:15making me trust her i wouldn't have believed the red light so much this is emma's thoughts that little
24:21princess everyone had protected one of the council elders walked over gently removed the green verity
24:28choker from her neck took out a blade pried the gem loose right there it rolled onto the table still
24:35glowing green steady unchanged the elder picked up the stone a glowstone that is all your younger
24:44daughter's choker was always going to shine green no matter what she said did or lied about it would
24:52never change your so-called verity choker was a fraud that was her truth for 10 years that was the
25:01evidence she used to convict me a common glowstone that put me in hell while emma lived in paradise
25:08so i wasn't a liar i i laughed laughed until i cried turns out ghosts could cry too the elder
25:15turned
25:16to the last page of the journal his voice broke the handwriting was a mess clearly written while dying
25:22mom if i die will the choker stop glowing red or if it turns green will you hug me then
25:29i'm not lying
25:30i couldn't heal myself anymore my stomach hurts so much like knives next life please don't make me
25:39wear the choker please i just want to be a normal pup i want to eat mom's roasted meat mom
25:45stared at
25:45the broken glowstone on the table that truth magic she trusted without question a worthless stone because
25:52of that stone she spoiled emma for 10 years because of that cursed red light she tortured me for 10
25:59years
26:03mom started laughing her voice cracking at every sound worse than crying fake all fake
26:14i killed my most honest pup and i worshipped a liar she'd lost her mind for real this time my
26:23death became
26:24the talk of the entire pack lisa the neighbor who had sent for the pack healer told everyone what
26:30she'd seen every wolf knew by morning luna had starved her own daughter to death monster murderer she
26:40doesn't deserve to be luna stones flew at our door the word killer carved into the wall the council
26:47convened within the day the verdict was swift dad lost his alpha title no wolf would follow him now
26:54my grandfather the former alpha read out the judgment himself he didn't look at his son once
27:01dad walked out of the council hall and never looked back he took emma and left the pack that same
27:07night
27:08emma was a bad seed sure but she was still his blood before they left emma tried to take her
27:14green
27:15choker dad stomped on it why the hell would you want that piece of trash emma cried as he dragged
27:21her
27:22away mom got out of the dungeon the healer said she had lost her mind the council locked her in
27:28the home
27:28instead the one that still smelled like death her mental state deteriorated fast she refused to take
27:35off the red choker she would tighten it herself whenever the guilt got too heavy she said choking was
27:41the only thing that eased it it was her self-imposed punishment i floated in the darkness my wolf curled
27:48beside me watching her unravel day after day she'd talk to the empty corner where i used to stand stella
27:54i brought you some food no celery today it's all roast just how you like it but there was no
28:01food there
28:02was nothing just her hands cupped around air she'd pretend to set a plate down her hands shook the gem
28:10flashed red she was anxious guilty falling apart she smiled but her eyes were empty the gem is red
28:19mom is lying liars don't deserve food she pulled the choker tight with her own hands let it choke her
28:26her body convulsed against the cold floor it hurts so much is this how stella felt i'm sorry mom started
28:35reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy so she forced herself to eat
28:43spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it back down i was locked in isolation so she locked
28:51herself in my old room lights off and bowed to my portrait until her forehead bled over and over blood
29:00on
29:00the floor late at night she'd see the red glow of the bloodstone reflected on the wall to her it
29:07looked
29:07like my bloody eyes were watching she kept punishing herself the wounds healed slower and slower her wolf
29:15exhausted by months of self-torture slowly fell into a deep sleep mom didn't care she scrawled on the back
29:22of my journal i'm sorry i was wrong red means pain red means love please come back and say it
29:30hurts hurts
29:31one more time i'll save you i promise too bad i'm dead dead wolves can't cry for help eventually the
29:39new
29:39alpha intervened mom's self-harm had gone too far she'd nearly choked herself to death with her own hands
29:46he ordered her to move to a small hut at the far edge of the village locked from the outside
29:52someone
29:53posted to watch her day and night she was the strangest woman they'd ever seen nobody knew where
29:59she'd found it a frayed red cord tied around her own neck her homemade choker if anyone tried to remove
30:07it she'd snap at them teeth bared snarling wild-eyed don't touch me stella's watching she'll be angry
30:16angry if you take it every time the guard called her name and brought her food mom would grab the
30:22red cord and pull it tight against her own throat convulsing screaming red light red light don't
30:30punish punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was scalding hot she'd gulp it down burning her
30:38throat
30:39wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final moments living my hell on repeat years later emma
30:46grew up without guidance and with a trail of shame behind her she drifted from pack to pack stealing
30:53to survive no one would take her in when she ran out of options she remembered mom was still alive
31:00she slipped back into the silverman pack under the cover of night not for love for money hey crazy lady
31:09dad's dead give me whatever you've been hiding emma stood there face hard eyes full of contempt she
31:17looked at mom's hollow broken form and spat on the floor it's disgusting give me what i want or i'll
31:25send
31:26you to meet your daughter for a moment mom's cloudy eyes cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered
31:33that choker that always green glowstone that decade of deception it's you you lie you're the green light
31:43that wasn't there you killed stella give her back to me give her back to me the last shred of
31:51maternal
31:51love twisted into something feral mom lunged grabbed emma by the throat should have died not her you
32:03emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a mad woman's grip the guards rushed in pulled her off emma
32:10stumbled out of the hut terrified they're all insane she bolted into the forest she didn't get far
32:17rogues the kind that haunted the borderlands preying on anyone foolish enough to run through
32:23the trees alone at night emma never saw them coming by the time she did it was too late she
32:31survived
32:31barely both legs shattered beyond repair she'd never walk again meanwhile mom was strapped to her cot
32:39staring at the ceiling tears streaming in her dreams she finally saw me i was 10 again no choker
32:47white dress smiling mom she reached for me crying with joy stella but the moment her hands touched me
32:56i burst into ash no she woke up screaming if she'd been wearing that choker it would have been blood
33:04red eternal torment i stood in the void watching it all mom strapped to her bed emma in a wheelchair
33:12begging on the market dad drunk and dead in some gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead
33:21calm my wolf padded over quietly she didn't howl didn't nudge just pressed her head against my hand
33:28and held it there in the distance a door of light appeared soft steady waiting i looked at my wolf
33:36she
33:36looked at me yeah time to leave this life was too bitter nothing worth holding on to
33:43i floated to mom's hut one final time she looked ancient hair completely white frail as paper she
33:50sent something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right where i stood stella is that you
33:55her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the choker i don't believe in it anymore
34:01come back please i'll cook for you no salary i'll buy you new dresses not emma tears rolled down her
34:08face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the frayed cord i i reached out my cold
34:14ghostly finger
34:15touched her forehead this was my final mercy sleep mom in sleep there's no pain her eyes fluttered shut
34:22she slumped into a deep dreamless rest a breeze blew through the hut the old journal on her cot flipped
34:29open the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling but below it in shaky handwriting were new
34:36lines written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar
34:42punish
34:43me however you want just don't leave me i stared at those words felt nothing too late repentance means
34:49nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love you either let's not meet again
34:56i
34:57turned away my wolf was waiting in the distance the door of light still glowed soft steady patient
35:03i looked at my neck the phantom verity choker still there even in spirit form the nightmare that had
35:09changed me for a lifetime i grabbed it it shattered into nothing i felt weightless free no red light
35:16no hunger no lies just freedom my wolf pressed against my side together we walked toward the
35:22light i didn't look back morning came a guard pushed open the door rachel time to eat no response
35:28she walked closer mom's hand clutched the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the corner
35:34of her eye she crouched beside her held two fingers beneath her nose nothing she was gone passing through
35:40the door wasn't violent no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a spring stream i looked to
35:47my side my wolf was gone i didn't panic i pressed my hand to my chest and there she was
35:53steady warm then i
35:55heard her voice not a whimper not a whine clear and bright and full of life like the first time
36:01we
36:01met run i shifted four paws hit the ground and i ran through forests that smelled of pine and rain
36:08through
36:08cold shallow streams that splashed silver around my legs through meadows i had never seen but somehow knew
36:15my white fur caught the light my paws were sure my lungs were full my body was strong no choker
36:22around
36:22my throat no red light no hunger the lingering ache in my soul the phantom pain of 10 years started
36:30to
36:30fade with every step i ran toward brightness behind me old life dissolved like a worn photograph left out
36:37in the rain mom's final tear the red glow of the choker blood on the journal pages gone i didn't
36:44look
36:44back that 10 year nightmare was finally truly over when i opened my eyes again i was tiny wrapped in
36:52soft blankets someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off key but full of love her fingers brushed my
37:02cheek the scent of wildflowers not the cold clinical distance of my old mother not the silence of someone
37:10who only touched me to punish i blinked up at her she had kind eyes a soft smile she cradled
37:18me like i was
37:18made of glass grace is awake honey come quick our daughter just opened her eyes a man appeared tall
37:27a little awkward but his face lit up when he saw me he touched my tiny hand with one finger
37:33his voice
37:34was deep warm hey grace i'm your dad grace not stella no weight no chains no red light just grace
37:47a name that meant something light something cherished this house was small but warm full of light cartoon
37:55painting on the walls flowers by the window sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized
38:02fast this family was nothing like the last one they never forced me to do anything there were no chokers
38:09no red lights no punishments for things i hadn't done i grew learned to crawl to talk and when i
38:18was
38:18three mom made a stew with celery the green stalks in the bowl triggered me i flashed back to choking
38:25throat swelling vomiting blood i stumbled backwards shaking tears came without permission mom immediately put
38:33down her spoon crouched pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't like celery i couldn't speak
38:41just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay you don't have to eat it
38:49can you
38:50tell us why their eyes were patient gentle finally i choked out it hurts my throat makes me bleed they
39:00didn't
39:00say the verity choker doesn't lie they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the pack healer
39:06immediately turns out i really do have a celery allergy after that celery never appeared in the
39:13house again mom added it to her market list grace's allergies celery she checked every time she shopped
39:21i lay in her arms that night smelling wild flowers and realized this is what it feels like to be
39:27believed
39:28love isn't measured by a stone it's listening even when the story sounds impossible when i was four
39:35dad took me to the pack healer for my first health check there was a blood draw i saw the
39:40needle and lost
39:41it flashes of the choker tightening around my throat flashes of starvation i screamed clung to dad's leg
39:49the healer sighed i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad immediately scooped me
39:57up sorry she's not ready we'll come back another time on the walk home dad didn't scold me for being
40:03weak he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his shoulder tears
40:12soaking his shirt mom joker red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded it's okay
40:22dad's here now no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to the pack healer regularly
40:30not for blood draws just to talk she has been hurt be patient with her my parents never complained never
40:38made me feel like a burden they bought me a colorful necklace but never forced me to wear it this
40:43is
40:43just a pretty thing grace wear it if you want take it off if you don't we'll love you either
40:48way
40:49slowly i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared i
40:57could say
40:58i want that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being proof of a lie i started sharing
41:04my
41:04stories with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got praise i was finally
41:11just a pup
41:11a normal loved pup when i turned seven i started at the pack school there was a girl in my
41:18class
41:18annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and she was timid
41:27scared the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green light mocking
41:36me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper i'm annie
41:45do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please just like i used to
41:52be
41:52i glanced at her neck she wore a simple choker with green gem my stomach turned later i found out
42:00annie's mom was straight to this family demanded honesty locked her in her room without food when
42:06she made mistakes one day annie accidentally knocked over the teacher's ink pot she was trembling too
42:13scared to admit it i saw her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at that
42:21desk writing i am a liar over and over i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents happen
42:32let's tell the teacher together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are bad
42:39wolves being honest isn't about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if you tell
42:46the truth you shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher gets angry i'll stand with you if your mom
42:52gets angry come to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she confessed
42:58the
42:59teacher forgave her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we have been best friends
43:05i brought annie home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish
43:11little things i told her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say
43:20things one day annie's mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together and her face twisted
43:27she grabbed annie's hand did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down
43:34silent i stepped in front of her looked at the mom in the eye ma'am annie didn't do anything
43:40wrong
43:42she's a good pup you shouldn't always assume the worst
43:48she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me then at annie's tear-filled eyes
43:54her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her said i'd opened her eyes
44:00over time annie's mom got gentler what you want to do started listening instead of yelling
44:05and annie she blossomed confident happy i watched her laugh freely one day and felt this warmth in my
44:13chest i didn't get saved in my last life i suffered alone in the dark but this time i could
44:20save someone
44:21else i could stop another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past life gave me the ability to
44:28see pain and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me to visit grandma there was an
44:33old oak tree in
44:34her yard its branches spread wide casting shade over the whole garden i sat beneath it watching
44:40sunlight filter through the leaves my wolf dozed inside me warm and content then i saw her an old
44:46woman white hair hunched over a walking stick wearing a faded blue dress the second i saw her face i
44:53froze
44:54she looked exactly like rachel my old mother grandma noticed me too walked over slowly her eyes were
45:02hazy but there was something familiar in them something heavy what's your name child grace she
45:07repeated it softly grace that's a beautiful name she reached out like she wanted to touch my hair
45:13then hesitated pulled back like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom came over
45:18steadied her mom this is our daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life too over the next
45:25few
45:25days grandma watched me constantly her expression was unreadable one morning she brought me a bowl of
45:31roasted meat grace eat up this used to be your favorite i stared at the bowl in my last life
45:36i wrote in my
45:37dying breath i want to eat mom's roasted meat and here was grandma saying those exact words tears blurred
45:44my vision this wasn't some distant wish anymore it was real right in front of me i picked up a
45:50piece
45:51bit into it tender sweet perfect grandma smiled a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed with my
45:59wolf curled warm inside my chest i thought about rachel's last words next life let me wear the choker
46:05let me be the liar punish me however you want just don't leave me i thought about her final tear
46:11the torn journal i didn't hate her anymore hating someone is like locking yourself in the past chewing
46:18on pain forever this life's warmth had already washed away the bitterness i just felt sad sad that
46:24she only understood too late real love was never about stones or punishment we stayed for a month then
46:31went back home before i left she held my hand grace live well be happy her voice was soft but
46:37heavy with
46:37meaning i nodded you too grandma i watched her walk away and i felt nothing no anger no grief the
46:45grudges
46:45of my past life were like fallen leaves blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore the girl locked
46:51in the dark choking on a lie i was grace sterling surrounded by love free at 13 i graduated from
46:58pack
46:58school got into the best academy in the region my parents took me to the lake for a picnic to
47:03celebrate
47:03i stood at the edge of the water wind in my hair the scent of pine and cold water on
47:09my skin i stretched
47:10out my arms feeling the freedom for a moment i saw her my ghost self floating desperate to hug someone
47:18but passing right through grace what are you thinking dad handed me a drink i smiled just i'm grateful
47:25to be alive to be with you both mom pulled me into a hug silly girl we're the lucky ones
47:31no one said
47:32anything we all just shifted at the same time like we'd done it a hundred times before we ran together
47:39through the trees through the shallow edge of the lake water spraying silver around our paws eventually
47:44i slowed down turned and threw myself at them we tumbled into the grass together mom nuzzled her head
47:52against mine dad licked the top of my head with lazy affection i pressed into them both and stayed there
47:58breathing hard warm all the way through i looked up at the sky through the canopy of trees i didn't
48:04need to prove i wasn't a liar anymore i didn't need to fear a red light i could laugh cry
48:10speak freely
48:11i had parents who loved me a best friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i
48:18died wishing
48:18for that night i wrote in my journal not the blood-stained confessions of my old life this one was
48:25full of
48:25happiness growth love i wrote today we ran by the lake mom and dad shifted with me without saying a
48:33word we tumbled in the grass like pups i thought about my past self that little girl locked in a
48:38room choking in the dark desperate to be loved she'd never believed that i could be this happy mom and
48:45dad love me they taught me that honesty isn't something you punish out of someone it's something
48:50you grow with patience and warmth annie is my best friend now she laughs freely she speaks without
48:57flinching grandma is getting older but her eyes are warm when she looks at me my wolf grows stronger
49:04every day with her beside me i feel at ease i don't hate anyone anymore i don't cling to the
49:10past those
49:11painful memories are like paw prints in the mud washed away by rain but they taught me to cherish every
49:17step forward i know my old mom sister and dad got what they deserved and i finally broke free i
49:24found
49:25real freedom i don't want to see them again i don't want to relive that life i just want to
49:30be gray
49:31simple happy loved the lake was beautiful life was beautiful i closed my journal looked out the window
49:38moonlight shimmered on the water through the trees my wolf stirred softly inside my chest warm steady i smiled
49:45this life i finally became who i wanted to be no red light no starvation no lies just love freedom
49:53happiness and those scars from my past they became part of me proof that i had survived proof that darkness
50:00no matter how long it lasts cannot swallow you whole not if you keep moving toward the light the road
50:06ahead
50:06is long but i will walk it with courage with joy towards something even brighter
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