00:00During John's involvement with extremism, he expressed some of his views and opinions to people other than me.
00:08Those views and opinions were of an extreme nature, yet the seriousness of the situation that he was in was
00:16still overlooked.
00:18And please don't think for one second that I am looking to blame anybody or absorb myself in any kind
00:24of way.
00:26Like myself, all the people that John encountered during that time simply did not either have the resources or the
00:34knowledge required to not only recognise those signs or to know where they could reach out for support.
00:42Many of those people only expressed their concerns to me long after John left, expressing that although they were aware
00:50of the things that he was saying,
00:51many believed it was just a phase that he was going through or that he was just seeking negative attention.
00:58The first example I'm going to give, I only found out about recently.
01:04This happened when John was in his last year of secondary school and this incident has never brought to my
01:10attention.
01:11John and his friend, Geron Wong-Lesson, racially abused a female teacher.
01:17The origin of the abuse was that she did not belong in this country due to her parents' heritage.
01:24It is something that John is deeply ashamed of now and I was devastated for what my son put this
01:30lady through when I found out about this incident.
01:35A second incident happened during John's time in further education.
01:40Again, it was an incident that was never mentioned or flagged, not to me or anyone else in the system.
01:48During the class debate, John stood in front of a classroom and teacher and activated for Britain First and some
01:58of their more notable members.
02:00He invited classmates to attend demonstrations with him.
02:05Looking back, after that, John just got more and more brazen.
02:12He started at a new college and he took his views and ideologies with him.
02:18Within days, I started to receive calls about his disruptive behaviour and his bad attitude.
02:26His obsession with flags and what he called patronism grew along with his negative and vile opinions.
02:34I tried to challenge him, but he would always have an answer for everything and when he didn't, a huge
02:39argument would erupt.
02:41It got to the point that I was scared to speak to him.
02:45He started speaking out in front of my friends and my family.
02:49Some saw him as a good lad turned bad, a problem that they wash their hands with,
02:54and others like my friend, who I hope to interview soon, challenged John about his opinions.
03:01All the while, whilst this was happening, I felt deeply ashamed, confused and scared.
03:09I didn't feel like I could discuss this matter with anybody because I was so afraid of the judgement.
03:15I was scared that they would think that it was my fault, or even worse, that they thought John's opinions
03:22stemmed from me.
03:24I felt like I was a failure as a mother and I didn't want anyone to see it.
03:30As you know, if you've listened to my story, eventually a teacher in college did recognise the signs of John's
03:37involvement.
03:39First, she reached out to me, and without judgement, she asked me if I had any concerns.
03:45I knew it was now or never, and I was desperate for help.
03:49And that day, I spoke up for the first time.
03:53Things moved quickly after that.
03:55John was referred to the channel programme, where he received an IP officer, and with his support, John left.
04:03So many opportunities were missed on the way to help John.
04:06I personally, simply, didn't have the education or the knowledge that I needed at the time to realise what was
04:14going on right under my nose.
04:17Now things are different.
04:19With the training that I have received at Exit UK, I hope to educate, help and support other parents in
04:27situations similar to mine.
04:30Exit UK is an amazing organisation that not only works tirelessly to educate people, both in a professional capacity and
04:39members of communities,
04:41about how to recognise the signs of extremism, to recognise the dangers of extremism, and how to help those involved
04:50in extremism.
04:51But they also mentor individuals involved, and then you have members of the team, like myself, who support loved ones
05:03of parents of those involved.
05:06Nobody should ever have to go through what John and I went through alone, and they don't have to.
05:11If you or someone that you know needs support and advice, please contact us on 0800 999 1945, or you
05:24can email us at www.exitfamilysupport.org.
05:31That one call can make the difference that you need.
