#Jamie Foxx #Django Unchained
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:03:01Great.
00:03:01This is tight, baby.
00:03:02This is a tight song.
00:03:05You can't feel me.
00:03:06I can just flip the track.
00:03:07I can flip it like the 90s verse, like tie it up, tie it up, yellow red block, tie it
00:03:17up.
00:03:21You spent $5,000 for this car and you don't even check to see if the radio works?
00:03:26Come on, girl.
00:03:26You got to realize, for one, this is not a CD player, okay?
00:03:28This is not a CD player.
00:03:29You can't be banging it like that.
00:03:31This is history.
00:03:31This is original equipment.
00:03:32It's an 8-track table.
00:03:33Well, I'm going to destroy some original damn equipment in about two minutes.
00:03:37There you go.
00:03:38Every time something sets you off, you want to go swinging at the ding-a-ling.
00:03:41I don't know why women want to do that.
00:03:43Always ding-a-ling swinging.
00:03:44I'll tell you right now.
00:03:45You can swing that ding-a-ling all the way back to Chicago.
00:03:47You're welcome.
00:03:50You getting sick?
00:03:52Yeah.
00:03:52Look, look, aim it out this time.
00:03:55Michael, stop it.
00:03:57You care more about this car than you do about me.
00:04:00No, I do not.
00:04:01Yes, you do.
00:04:01Come on, you know I love you now, girl.
00:04:03It's just that it costs a lot of money to get these seats clean and I haven't even spent
00:04:07one night with the car yet.
00:04:09Getting sick?
00:04:10Honey.
00:04:10You getting sick, huh?
00:04:12Honey, um...
00:04:12Out, out, out, out.
00:04:14Aim out, aim out.
00:04:15No, honey, I don't have to throw up.
00:04:16Oh, what you got to do?
00:04:17Oh, you got to go.
00:04:18I got to go.
00:04:20In, in, hold it in.
00:04:22Drive faster, I've got to go to the bathroom.
00:04:23I'm diving, baby, I'm diving.
00:04:24Honey, drive fast.
00:04:25I'm going.
00:04:26I'm going to turn the music up so you don't feel it.
00:04:28Okay.
00:04:29Tie a yellow.
00:04:30I got to go.
00:04:31Tie a yellow ribbon around here.
00:04:32Okay, baby.
00:04:33Okay.
00:04:34Tie a yellow ribbon around the old L-T.
00:04:42Ball three.
00:04:43He takes ball three.
00:04:44Phoenix is up by one in the first inning.
00:04:46of the state championship game.
00:04:48The winner goes on to the nationals.
00:04:50All right, Pete.
00:04:51This is the pitch.
00:04:52No pressure, babe.
00:04:53No pressure.
00:04:57Good eye.
00:04:58Good eye.
00:04:59All right.
00:04:59Let's drop a quarter in this carousel.
00:05:11Strike three.
00:05:12You're up.
00:05:12You're up.
00:05:14You're up.
00:05:15You're up.
00:05:17You're up.
00:05:17You're up.
00:05:17Everyone, please stay in your seats while the official folk is out.
00:05:22Huh?
00:05:25Oh, you must be smoking.
00:05:28Hey, hey.
00:05:29What's going on with my...
00:05:33Children of the court.
00:05:34You struck out my hitter with three men on base.
00:05:38Struck out your hitter?
00:05:40Oh, you're talking about the little game.
00:05:41All right, well, my bad.
00:05:44Michael!
00:05:45Yeah?
00:05:46I hope she don't think that's a john.
00:05:49Oh.
00:05:51That filled up last season.
00:05:53Ew.
00:05:55Honey!
00:05:59Hi.
00:06:00Look, I'm sorry for whatever he did.
00:06:02He'll fix it.
00:06:04But could you please tell me where I can find a bathroom?
00:06:08Well, most of the businesses around here are closed down because of our little game.
00:06:15But you might try the zip two miles out on main.
00:06:20Okay, honey, come on.
00:06:21Gotta go.
00:06:22Yeah, I'm coming.
00:06:22Just hold on.
00:06:23I got some man things I need to discuss with this young man.
00:06:25Honey, I gotta go.
00:06:26I got to do some man stuff.
00:06:28Here we go.
00:06:31Hey, but hold on a second.
00:06:32Come on, boys.
00:06:33Let's shake it off.
00:06:33My damages and everything.
00:06:34Let's go play some defense.
00:06:36What you looking at, Tiny?
00:06:38Ray!
00:06:39Ray!
00:06:40Ray, what are you doing?
00:06:41Hey, wait.
00:06:42Oh!
00:06:56See, it works.
00:06:58If this one in the radio station is in, it doesn't.
00:07:04Come on.
00:07:04Come on.
00:07:05Come on.
00:07:06Come on.
00:07:06Come on.
00:07:07Go.
00:07:07Go.
00:07:07Go.
00:07:08Go.
00:07:08I see something peeking.
00:07:10You dropped something.
00:07:11Let's get a bag of twos, though, girl.
00:07:15It's Michael G. from Las Vegas.
00:07:17Oh, man.
00:07:18Where it's 180 degrees on the street.
00:07:20Boy, that's pretty hot.
00:07:22Coming up next is Light Candy from page three.
00:07:25It's highway robbery.
00:07:28I'm saying that the prices is highway robbery.
00:07:31I wasn't referring to you guys.
00:07:33It's always like robbers and no one like that.
00:07:34I'm sure y'all nice Christian car folks.
00:07:41That the car McCann had for sale down in Phoenix?
00:07:48Yeah, yeah, it is.
00:07:50You know, your pump is broke.
00:07:52What'd you do to it?
00:07:54I didn't do nothing to it.
00:07:55I was working fine before you got here.
00:07:58Yeah, well, now that I'm here with it.
00:08:02You forgot to lift the handle, didn't you?
00:08:05Ha, ha, ha.
00:08:06Ha, ha, you forgot to kiss my...
00:08:09Yeah, well, looks like that Studebaker still got a wiring problem.
00:08:13Looks like you got a nosy as hell problem.
00:08:21I'm amazed how the whole car runs at all
00:08:24with all that electronic junk began stuck on it.
00:08:26And I'm amazed somebody ran in there
00:08:28and kicked your with all that trash you're talking about.
00:08:30I hope you didn't pay the full $18,000 he was asking for.
00:08:34That's none of your damn business.
00:08:39$18,000?
00:08:41Huh?
00:08:43You told me we paid five.
00:08:46Is that what I said?
00:08:47Yes!
00:08:48I talked him down.
00:08:50You know, Michael, we all know you're good,
00:08:52but you ain't that good.
00:08:53Now let me see the checkbook.
00:08:54Oh, yeah, well, the checkbook is right in your hand.
00:08:57You got it in your hand.
00:08:59I wanted to make sure you could see.
00:09:00It was kind of dark when the transaction went down.
00:09:03Oh, my God.
00:09:04Oh, my God.
00:09:05Michael!
00:09:06Ray, I know what you're thinking.
00:09:08$15,000?
00:09:10But it's a 57 Golden Hawk Classic.
00:09:12Honey, that was our house money.
00:09:14Did I tell you it was supercharged?
00:09:16Michael, you lied to me.
00:09:18Oh, come on, now.
00:09:19You're getting all emotional.
00:09:19So, yeah, like you're in a soap opera.
00:09:22Is it your time of the month?
00:09:23What?
00:09:24Is that what's going on?
00:09:24I mean, because I was saying I thought you was a little bloated.
00:09:26A little kangaroo patch was happening.
00:09:27I didn't want to see anything.
00:09:28You know, I should whoop you all.
00:09:33Excuse me?
00:09:34Ray, Ray, what are you doing?
00:09:35These people could be dangerous.
00:09:36Oh, you back off.
00:09:37I can be dangerous.
00:09:38Hi, I need to get to an airport.
00:09:39We aren't taking sides.
00:09:41Airport?
00:09:41Come on, Ray.
00:09:42An airport?
00:09:43That's crazy.
00:09:44Oh, you ain't seen crazy yet, either.
00:09:45You're looking for an airport?
00:09:47Yeah.
00:09:48Yeah, actually, hi, I am.
00:09:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:51I done told you what's the stat of our business.
00:09:53Las Vegas is just a short drive around the canyon.
00:09:55Oh, thank you.
00:09:57All that I've done, trying to put together a nice little vacation, and that's the way
00:10:01you act.
00:10:02You call this a nice vacation?
00:10:04And now we're spending the rest of our time driving back to Chicago to look for a house
00:10:08that we suddenly can't afford?
00:10:10That money was for a house?
00:10:12Yes!
00:10:12Can you believe him?
00:10:14And he bought this piece of batmobile.
00:10:19You know, I'm out of here.
00:10:22That's it.
00:10:22Ray, it's not a batmobile, bruh.
00:10:25Ray, where you going?
00:10:27Away from you!
00:10:28Look, don't make me call you out your name, girl.
00:10:30Oh, I wish you would.
00:10:32I'll call you out your name.
00:10:33I'm gonna call you out your name.
00:10:35Mm-hmm.
00:10:35I'll cuss you.
00:10:36Mm-mm.
00:10:37Give me this back.
00:10:38Give me this.
00:10:39You better...
00:10:40Give me this.
00:10:40You know what?
00:10:41You are getting...
00:10:41You're getting strong.
00:10:44You ain't gotta take it out on the car, either.
00:10:46Hey, don't disrespect me, woman.
00:10:49I'm a darn boyfriend, like it says in the Bible.
00:10:51There's a flight to Chicago, leaving Vegas airport tonight at six.
00:10:55I thought you said you weren't taking tacks.
00:10:58I didn't know it would be so easy.
00:11:00Come on, Michael.
00:11:02Spending that money violated a trust, a bond.
00:11:05I'm gonna snatch some wires out your...
00:11:07We're headed that way, man.
00:11:09And you're sure welcome to ride with us.
00:11:11As long as you don't mind riding in the back with the boys.
00:11:14The boys.
00:11:15Woo!
00:11:18Woo!
00:11:18Wee!
00:11:19How you got much in the air?
00:11:20Oh, man.
00:11:22I ain't even a kid with this.
00:11:24Got it.
00:11:25Hi.
00:11:26They don't want you, Ray.
00:11:27They got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle.
00:11:29Mm.
00:11:30They got ropes and no steers.
00:11:31That's what I think.
00:11:32Look, look, look, look, look, Ray.
00:11:33Listen.
00:11:33Listen.
00:11:34Now, come on.
00:11:34Now, black people don't do this kind of stuff.
00:11:36All right, mountain climbing, getting lost in the forest,
00:11:39and taking rides with people we don't know, we don't do that.
00:11:41So let's just chill, okay?
00:11:44Goodbye, Michael.
00:11:45I'm leaving.
00:11:46What do you mean you're leaving?
00:11:47I can't do this.
00:11:48You can't do what?
00:11:49I can't be with you anymore, Michael.
00:11:51You're really tripping.
00:11:53Oh, now you're gonna get a ring back.
00:11:55Okay.
00:11:56Come on.
00:11:59Well, I spent a lot of money on the ring.
00:12:02No, but I didn't mean it like that, Ray.
00:12:03Look.
00:12:03I may not be an expert, Michael, but...
00:12:06All of them like to feel important.
00:12:08There's little things like, uh, well, sending them flowers for no reason
00:12:12or, uh, leaving little notes in their sock drawers.
00:12:16Just something to do.
00:12:16Uncle Festive, you don't get up out of here.
00:12:18Okay, look, Ray.
00:12:19You done had your little fun, you and the Beverly Hill buddies and everything,
00:12:22but I'm gonna count to three, and I want you to get your narrow tail off of this truck.
00:12:26One.
00:12:28Two.
00:12:29I'm at two, Ray.
00:12:31This is two.
00:12:34Okay, well, go on, then.
00:12:36I don't need you.
00:12:37I'm just playing, Ray.
00:12:38Ray, I'm playing.
00:12:40What about my ring?
00:12:42I'm FedExing to you!
00:12:45And don't try to call my mama's house!
00:12:48Girl, your mother loves me.
00:12:52Call if I want to.
00:12:58What the hell?
00:13:01Oh!
00:13:02Tough break, man.
00:13:04Huh?
00:13:05Pretty stupid to lock your keys and like that.
00:13:08Wasn't stupid, man.
00:13:09I was just in a hurry.
00:13:10You gotta be careful.
00:13:10This is a classic car.
00:13:12I don't know what you're doing.
00:13:14I can open it, you know.
00:13:15You can?
00:13:17Fifty bucks.
00:13:18Fifty bucks, partner?
00:13:19Who you trying to fool, man?
00:13:20Fifty dollars, I get in here myself.
00:13:22I heard some of them cowboys say your girlfriend had a cute butt.
00:13:25Is that what they say?
00:13:26Mm-hmm.
00:13:27It was the tall one, wasn't it?
00:13:28Mm-hmm.
00:13:29Kick his ass.
00:13:30Look.
00:13:31All right, this is fifty.
00:13:33That's all I got.
00:13:34But you get it after you get in here, okay?
00:13:36You open it, the money's yours.
00:13:38Let's go.
00:13:41Well, I'm gonna need a hanger.
00:13:43I can't do it without a hanger.
00:13:44All right, I'm gonna run in and grab you a hanger
00:13:46and a wet nap to get your slush puppy-ness off of my ride.
00:13:51I don't know.
00:13:52For fifty bucks, you should have you all, eh?
00:13:59Beautiful dreamer.
00:14:01Wake unto me.
00:14:02Yes!
00:14:04Star-night.
00:14:07Yeah!
00:14:08Oh, excuse me, Bing.
00:14:09Did you work here?
00:14:10No, I just like wearing plaid.
00:14:13Okay, anyway, look, I need to get a hanger from you.
00:14:14And I need fourteen-seventy-five for the gas.
00:14:16It's $14.75.
00:14:20Hey, Mookie.
00:14:21Look, I'm in a hurry.
00:14:24This is all I got.
00:14:25Better get something else, then.
00:14:28All right.
00:14:30$14.75 for the gas.
00:14:33$35.25 for a hanger.
00:14:36You don't need a hanger.
00:14:38No, I do need a hanger.
00:14:39Look, if you was in my business like you were earlier,
00:14:41you'd understand the little man out there can't get into my car without a hanger.
00:14:44You want to bet that $50?
00:14:45I will double down on the $50.
00:14:47And the planned shirt.
00:14:52Hey, hey, get out of my ride, huh?
00:14:54Get out of my...
00:14:55Oh, I'm going to kick the...
00:14:57I'm going to kick the...
00:14:58I'm going to cut your...
00:15:07Beautiful dreamer
00:15:09Wake unto me
00:15:13Starlight and dream light
00:15:17I need a phone.
00:15:19Sheriff's number's on the side.
00:15:28I need to get a quarter for me, boss.
00:15:31I ain't got no quarter.
00:15:34Store ain't got no quarters.
00:15:37Hey, look it, partner.
00:15:38You know what I got to do to get a quarter around here?
00:15:41I know where you can make a quick hundred if you like wearing tights.
00:15:45Come on, man.
00:15:47I am in the Twilight Zone.
00:15:50What you need, Elfie?
00:15:52Are you Puff Daddy?
00:15:54Do I look like Puff Daddy to you?
00:15:59You got a quarter?
00:16:01Uh-huh.
00:16:03I am Puff Daddy.
00:16:05It's amazing how you saw through my disguise.
00:16:06Look, I need to make a call, you know, because I got to...
00:16:08I got to call my record company and check them out.
00:16:10You know they're going back to eight tracks?
00:16:12Do you rap?
00:16:13Yeah, because you could be too short.
00:16:15Oh, yeah.
00:16:16You know.
00:16:16You're never too short.
00:16:31Sheriff's office.
00:16:32I need to report a stolen car.
00:16:34Oh, bummer.
00:16:35Sheriff's not here.
00:16:35He's at the baseball game.
00:16:37Damn, why don't that surprise me?
00:16:39I can have Rick drop by.
00:16:41Oh, you can have Rick drop by?
00:16:42Does Rick have anything to do with law enforcement?
00:16:44Does he carry a gun and badge and some shit like that?
00:16:46He's the deputy.
00:16:48Cool.
00:16:49Send Rick on over here then.
00:16:50Where are you?
00:16:51I'm at the, uh, the Piz and Piz.
00:16:54No, I'm sorry.
00:16:54The, uh, the Sip and Zip.
00:16:56When you see him, tell him Wilma says hey.
00:17:00Okay, I'll tell him you said hey.
00:17:02You want me to pick up some his and her t-shirts too?
00:17:04Nah, just hey.
00:17:05Bye.
00:17:06All right.
00:17:06Hey, hey.
00:17:07Don't you need to know my name?
00:17:09Duh.
00:17:09Figured you'll be the one without the car.
00:17:12Okay.
00:17:12Also, I have on a str...
00:17:13Hello?
00:17:14A str...
00:17:17Yeah, well, they said they're gonna send somebody named Rick over.
00:17:20This is cool.
00:17:22All right, I got...
00:17:22I got 50 bucks.
00:17:24Minus the $14.75 for the gas.
00:17:27And his quarter.
00:17:30Okay, I got $35.
00:17:32Hmm?
00:17:33And I got six hours to make it to the airport.
00:17:36Jose's daughter's taking a load of grapefruit to the airport.
00:17:39She could take you.
00:17:41Can she get me there by six?
00:17:43Antes de las seis?
00:17:45No es problema.
00:17:47Oh, man, tell him.
00:17:48I'll tell him.
00:17:48Thank you, man.
00:17:49You've saved my life, eh?
00:17:51Uh, I don't know how to thank your ass.
00:17:54Tell him to give me the money.
00:17:57He says the $35 would be nice.
00:18:01The $35?
00:18:03All right, I'll tell you what.
00:18:04I'll give her half when she gets here.
00:18:07I'll give her the other half a when we get to the airport, though.
00:18:12Medio de medio.
00:18:14Ah.
00:18:16Ahora el pinche vato quiere negociar.
00:18:20Trato hecho.
00:18:21Taco Buena.
00:18:23He says okay.
00:18:24Except you look like the guy who stole his stereo.
00:18:28But I've never met you.
00:18:30Come on with the jokes.
00:18:33He don't need to steal anything.
00:18:35He's puffy.
00:18:36That's right.
00:18:37I don't need to steal.
00:18:39Puffy.
00:18:40Give it to me.
00:18:41You got my back.
00:18:44Me bad.
00:18:45Then it's gonna be all right.
00:18:47When life has your lemons, what do you do?
00:18:52I like to make a light hollandaise sauce with a salmon frappe.
00:18:57Sounds good.
00:18:59Yeah, hell, I'm starving.
00:19:04To the left.
00:19:04To the left.
00:19:05To the left.
00:19:05No.
00:19:06To the right.
00:19:11To the right.
00:19:11You suck.
00:19:13I'll suck the game anyway.
00:19:15Go to the couch.
00:19:17Mr. Daddy?
00:19:18Yeah.
00:19:19Can you sew my hat?
00:19:22Uh, you want Puff Daddy's autograph, huh?
00:19:25Yeah.
00:19:28Uh, yeah, well, yeah, what's your name?
00:19:31Oh, Rusty.
00:19:32To re, wait a minute.
00:19:34That's too soft.
00:19:35You got to be too bustin' Rusty, huh?
00:19:39Uh, recognize.
00:19:51Um, hugs and kisses.
00:19:56Perfect.
00:19:57There you go.
00:19:58Oh, this is dope.
00:19:59Yeah, yeah, it's dope.
00:20:00Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:20:01You got to put the hat right.
00:20:02See, you got to put it right there.
00:20:03And there you swab.
00:20:04See?
00:20:05Get your shirt ready.
00:20:06Let your gauchos, what are these gauchos?
00:20:08Let your gauchos hang.
00:20:09Now you can hang with the homeboys.
00:20:11In the hood?
00:20:12In the what?
00:20:13In the hood.
00:20:14Well, yeah, where else would you be, huh?
00:20:16Of course you'd be in the hood.
00:20:17Are you a warrior?
00:20:17Yeah.
00:20:18Are you down?
00:20:19Yeah!
00:20:19That's what I'm saying.
00:20:20You got to be a warrior to hang out with puppy.
00:20:23Get out of that shoe.
00:20:24I didn't want this for you.
00:20:26You're too young.
00:20:27Oh, my God, are you bleeding?
00:20:29Afternoon, Jack.
00:20:31Hello, Mary.
00:20:32You busting a move on me, puppy?
00:20:35Yeah.
00:20:38That's just a little reflex.
00:20:39You know, you got to be ready when you're in the streets.
00:20:41Wow.
00:20:42You ever kill anybody?
00:20:44Uh, yeah, I probably have.
00:20:47But I don't stick around to see.
00:20:48You know, I'm just tough like that.
00:20:50Are these donuts fresh, Jack?
00:20:53Fresh as usual.
00:20:55Hmm.
00:20:56Are you her?
00:20:57What?
00:20:58The lady with the melons.
00:20:59What?
00:21:00The lady with the grapefruits.
00:21:01Are you her?
00:21:03Hello?
00:21:04Yeah.
00:21:05I don't even know.
00:21:09Come on, man.
00:21:09And you're out here.
00:21:10What?
00:21:13What's going on?
00:21:17I'm going to kill you.
00:21:19I'm going to kill you.
00:21:21I'm going to kill her.
00:21:22You're the ones.
00:21:36That was quick.
00:21:38Thanks, Jackie.
00:21:40Maybe I'm going to turn the favor one day.
00:21:43Beautiful.
00:21:46My bad.
00:21:53Hey, you looking for me?
00:21:55What?
00:22:03How you doing?
00:22:07Yeah, I saw the crate on the back, so I figured you had to be her.
00:22:10What? You know about the crate?
00:22:12Yeah, well, he meant it.
00:22:14Whipped cream.
00:22:16Dog food.
00:22:18Douche.
00:22:20You sure you want the spring-scented douche?
00:22:23They say fresh and natural beats it all to hell.
00:22:27This is what I sat on the friggin' counter, so this is what I want.
00:22:31You got it.
00:22:32Yes, I can give you half of it now, then I'll give you the rest of it later.
00:22:36Hey, Jack, how about some hot dogs?
00:22:38Uh, hot dogs not done yet.
00:22:41Man, some donuts?
00:22:43They're done.
00:22:45Rodrigo.
00:22:46Shut up.
00:22:49Well, Rodrigo, that'll be $9.57.
00:22:53Quarters, if you don't mind.
00:22:55I'd appreciate it.
00:22:57Oh, uh, nothing.
00:23:01Ah, okay!
00:23:02Nobody move!
00:23:04What?
00:23:10Cool.
00:23:12What the hell are you doing in here?
00:23:13Man, I came to get a hot dog.
00:23:15I was hungry.
00:23:15Who the hell is he?
00:23:17He's your guy.
00:23:18He ain't my guy.
00:23:19Look, I'm nobody's guy.
00:23:21He knows about the crate.
00:23:22Oh, Jesus.
00:23:23He knows about the crate.
00:23:25How do you know about the crate?
00:23:26Was somebody telling me the crate?
00:23:28Y'all running grapefruit, huh?
00:23:31He don't know sh**, Rodrigo.
00:23:33Would you stop using names?
00:23:36Is that what I say to you?
00:23:38I said not to use names, right?
00:23:40Is that what I say to you?
00:23:41Or was there some other f***** in the car?
00:23:44I thought you were talking to Trina.
00:23:46It's Sal!
00:23:47Oh, great!
00:23:49Now, everybody got that?
00:23:51I'm Rodrigo.
00:23:53That's Trina over there.
00:23:54And the big mouth is friggin' Sal.
00:23:57Pinche salado.
00:23:58I'm sorry, but he knows about the crate.
00:24:00Okay, shut up!
00:24:01Okay.
00:24:03Everybody, hands up!
00:24:08Sal!
00:24:09See if he's got a weapon under the counter.
00:24:10Come on.
00:24:12Hey, look, I see you got a lot on your mind right now, man.
00:24:15I got somewhere I gotta be.
00:24:16I'm gonna go ahead and give you this to start you off,
00:24:18because I could go here and mind my damn business.
00:24:20You can keep it.
00:24:24What are you doing, huh?
00:24:26Give it to the shotgun!
00:24:31What's what you're doing, huh?
00:24:32He told me to do it.
00:24:34Man, that shotgun has a hair trigger.
00:24:39What is that?
00:24:41Hi-ya!
00:24:43You know who you're fooling with?
00:24:44This is Puff Daddy.
00:24:46He the man.
00:24:48Chill, little man.
00:24:49This is not the time nor the place to be a warrior, all right?
00:24:51He's hot.
00:24:52It's so hot in here, he's losing it.
00:24:56Puffy is rough, he is tough, and he will kick your ass west side!
00:25:01Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:25:03You raising a friggin' sewer with a mouth like that, huh?
00:25:06Your parents don't teach you nothing?
00:25:07I got a gun, man.
00:25:08What the hell are you thinking?
00:25:10Use your head!
00:25:11Son, that gun can put a hollow point through a two-inch steel plate at 50 yards.
00:25:16I'll do what he says.
00:25:17Okay.
00:25:18Give me what you got in that thing.
00:25:20Come on!
00:25:26Sixteen bucks.
00:25:27I-I-I don't believe this s***!
00:25:30All you got in here is sixteen bucks!
00:25:33Check back after Labor Day.
00:25:35That's our big weekend.
00:25:37Ay, ay.
00:25:38Rodrigo, check it out.
00:25:42Ay, Dios mÃo.
00:25:45Ay, Dios mÃo.
00:25:46We're on Candy's friggin' camera.
00:25:49Sal!
00:25:50Whipped cream!
00:25:51Take care of it.
00:25:57Pero qué haces, baboso?
00:25:58You told me to do it!
00:25:59When I say take care of the camera, pedazo de anormal,
00:26:03this is what I mean.
00:26:14He's...
00:26:16He lies.
00:26:18He's just...
00:26:19He's just an idiot, you know?
00:26:22Yes, ma'am.
00:26:23And I try really hard.
00:26:27Jim?
00:26:28I don't know.
00:26:29I don't know.
00:26:31I don't know.
00:26:35What is this?
00:26:36Here you go.
00:26:37It's better if you don't swallow it.
00:26:41It's good, ain't it?
00:26:44Let me see the purse.
00:26:45Let me see the purse.
00:26:53Whoa!
00:26:55Somebody got the jumbo pack.
00:26:59Hey!
00:27:01Let's see the ring.
00:27:02Oh, come on, man.
00:27:02Leave a ring alone.
00:27:03Who are you now, eh?
00:27:04Beverly Hills cop?
00:27:06No, I'm not a Hills cop.
00:27:07Look, look at him.
00:27:09The ring probably ain't even real anyway.
00:27:11Yes, it is real.
00:27:12Join with me.
00:27:13Give me the ring.
00:27:16Okay, fine.
00:27:18It's insured.
00:27:20Ya, vamos, Rodrigo.
00:27:21Sal!
00:27:21Check out Leatherhead.
00:27:29Come on, empty the pockets.
00:27:30They are empty.
00:27:32He says they're empty.
00:27:33Vamos.
00:27:34Sal!
00:27:35I don't trust him, man.
00:27:38Look, bro.
00:27:39Why don't you just minimize all the pain and quit with the antics?
00:27:42Just ask him about the safe.
00:27:46They got a safe?
00:27:47I know they got a safe.
00:27:49Show me the safe.
00:27:51I swear to God, I'll waste him if you don't.
00:27:55Oh, that'll teach me.
00:27:57Okay.
00:27:58How about her?
00:28:00Huh?
00:28:04Come on, man.
00:28:06Be easy with the gun.
00:28:07You see the girl is scared.
00:28:07You never shut up.
00:28:09Is that why your old lady dumped you?
00:28:12Actually, she said he was an egotistical, self-centered jackass.
00:28:16She did not say all that.
00:28:18I'm paraphrasing.
00:28:24I told you, Trina, he had money.
00:28:27I guess I can break that 50 for you now.
00:28:32You got 50.
00:28:38You want a bag for all that?
00:28:40Yeah, please.
00:28:41Get it, Trina.
00:28:47Shit!
00:28:48The cops!
00:28:49What?
00:28:50Who called the cops?
00:28:52Who called the f***ing cops?
00:28:53He did.
00:28:54No, what?
00:28:55Well, yeah, I did call the cops, but my car got jacked.
00:28:58Why the hell did you come in here today?
00:28:59I don't know.
00:29:00It was stick-up day.
00:29:01We're going to jail, Rodrigo.
00:29:02Shut up!
00:29:03Nobody's going to jail.
00:29:04We get rid of the cops.
00:29:06Just pretend we're in line, all right?
00:29:08Just be cool.
00:29:09Don't try nothing, or I put a bullet in his back.
00:29:12Okay?
00:29:13And everybody's back!
00:29:14I have to get out of here.
00:29:15You're not going anywhere!
00:29:16Check out those Doritos over there.
00:29:18Go!
00:29:20Just keep waiting.
00:29:22Hey, kid.
00:29:22What?
00:29:23Play that game some more.
00:29:24Fine.
00:29:25Trina, he picks up one of them hot dogs.
00:29:28Hot dogs ain't done yet.
00:29:29Throw the f***ing thing in the microwave.
00:29:32Do it, Trina!
00:29:33I can't do it.
00:29:34I can't do it!
00:29:35Just don't look at him.
00:29:36You'll be all right if you don't look at him.
00:29:39I can't do it.
00:29:45Howdy, Jack.
00:29:47So long.
00:29:47Oh.
00:30:07Which one of you's got the stolen car?
00:30:12Yeah, uh, you must be Rick.
00:30:16Deputy Beaumont.
00:30:19Wilma told me to tell you, hey.
00:30:22Did she?
00:30:30All right, I got some paperwork if you want to follow me out to the cruiser.
00:30:34Yeah, you know what, I would love to follow...
00:30:36You know what, you know what, I can't right now.
00:30:38I can't even do it.
00:30:40Uh-uh, I gotta stay in here, uh, back in line where the other people are,
00:30:45because they were witnesses.
00:30:47You two together?
00:30:53No.
00:30:54Uh, matter of fact, I don't even know him.
00:30:56Uh, how you doing, man? Uh, Mike. Mike Dawson.
00:30:59How you doing?
00:31:00Yeah.
00:31:02Uh-huh, all right.
00:31:04Um, I'll tell you what.
00:31:06I'll go out to the car, and I'll get some forms,
00:31:09and I'll come back in, we can discuss it however you like.
00:31:16I think he bought it.
00:31:18Yeah, sure, he sees a black man buying douche every day.
00:31:22How in perdition can you call him out when he dropped the damn gumball?
00:31:30Yeah.
00:31:32No, it's a mayor.
00:31:34Rick Beaumont.
00:31:36What is it, Bo?
00:31:42He didn't buy it, Rodrigo.
00:31:44Rodrigo, he didn't buy it.
00:31:45Shh.
00:31:46What's he doing in there?
00:31:49He's probably wondering why we looking so ridiculous.
00:31:52What am I supposed to be doing?
00:31:54I don't know.
00:31:57Buy something.
00:32:00How am I supposed to pay for it?
00:32:07I still can't break that 50.
00:32:11Would it be anything else?
00:32:16Horace!
00:32:20I got an emergency.
00:32:21You're gonna have to take over as coach.
00:32:23Okay.
00:32:25What do I do?
00:32:28Take it easy on him.
00:32:31This is my home phone number.
00:32:33If my girl answers, man, please hang the phone up.
00:32:36I don't want to deal with that.
00:32:36All right, all right, Mr. Dawson.
00:32:37That's plenty.
00:32:38I'll go get this on the horn.
00:32:40And we'll see what we can't come up with.
00:32:47Mary.
00:32:47Richard.
00:32:48Richard.
00:33:00And Boris.
00:33:02Vámonos.
00:33:06Hasta mañana.
00:33:08Just kidding.
00:33:18Oh, sh**.
00:33:22The cops are the same.
00:33:28Ah!
00:33:29He broke the horse breaking down.
00:33:33Vámonos!
00:33:34Free!
00:33:41Leave the damn place!
00:33:42No no no no no! Help me!
00:33:45Let's go!
00:33:46No no no, we can't leave him!
00:33:47We got the money!
00:33:49Go!
00:33:51Oh god! Rita!
00:33:57If you haven't you know what where you're going!
00:34:13That'll work!
00:34:26Those guys are great!
00:34:28No!
00:34:31You fellas hold on!
00:34:33Ain't no point in shooting up public property if it ain't necessary!
00:34:37Public property, my ass!
00:34:39I own this place!
00:34:42Sheriff Eli Pembry of North Butte County!
00:34:46We've got you surrounded so you might just well give up before this thing gets out of hand!
00:34:51No no no! Forget it!
00:34:53Forget it man!
00:34:55Nobody out here wants to hurt you!
00:34:57Forget it man!
00:34:59Your Grievous is crazy!
00:35:01I got you dead!
00:35:02We just want you to walk out nice and slow and give yourself up!
00:35:07That's it!
00:35:08I got you!
00:35:10I'm a hostage!
00:35:17Give me that!
00:35:21All you other pack of wood!
00:35:23Don't fire unless you fire the wood!
00:35:25Those rednecks are crazy!
00:35:26No shit!
00:35:30Back off!
00:35:35Or I start throwing out bodies!
00:35:38Alright!
00:35:40Somebody get me the book!
00:35:45He's got all the answers!
00:35:48Careful!
00:35:49Okay!
00:35:50Here!
00:36:02Ted!
00:36:04I need food and coffee!
00:36:07ASAP!
00:36:08Right!
00:36:09I need the blueprints for this store and I need them yesterday!
00:36:13Yes sir!
00:36:14Hey!
00:36:15Go down to the surplus store and see what they've got in the way of tear gas!
00:36:21Yeah!
00:36:22Come on!
00:36:23Bo!
00:36:24Yes sir!
00:36:25Call the chief of police in Vegas!
00:36:27He's an old fishing buddy of mine!
00:36:29Tell him we need to borrow a SWAT team!
00:36:31You got it!
00:36:31And will somebody kindly find out who's winning the damn ball game!
00:36:55Beverly Hills Cop you're coming with me!
00:36:58Hold on!
00:36:59Hold on man look you don't understand!
00:37:00We both are minorities.
00:37:01Why didn't you shut up you face?
00:37:02This ain't exactly the rainbow coalition out there man!
00:37:04They're gonna shoot at both of us.
00:37:05Shut up!
00:37:05They already shot!
00:37:05He's got a gun!
00:37:10You the sheriff?
00:37:12Oh, shit.
00:37:14You know, you're turning into one major pain in the ass for me, son.
00:37:19What the hell did you do to him?
00:37:21I didn't do nothing to him.
00:37:23The hell he didn't.
00:37:25He struck out my best hitter with two outs and the base is loaded.
00:37:29Oh, now he's your best hitter?
00:37:31Oh, yeah, yeah, you ain't worth nothing as a hostage.
00:37:33What did I tell you?
00:37:35I gotta get in line or shoot you?
00:37:36Well, take a number.
00:37:38Okay, listen up.
00:37:40You got those hicks over here to move this grave.
00:37:43Man, don't call them hicks.
00:37:53While you're in there, check and see how many hostages he's got and how many guns.
00:38:02Ready?
00:38:02On three.
00:38:05No way, compadre.
00:38:07You guys ain't coming in here with no guns.
00:38:11Make him take those belts off.
00:38:14Well, sir.
00:38:15All right, take them all.
00:38:21Okay, now everybody.
00:38:24No pants.
00:38:25Pants?
00:38:26I don't want no surprises.
00:38:28That's a surprise.
00:38:30Nobody comes in here with pants on.
00:38:33Do it.
00:38:44Oh, no shirts.
00:38:46Neither.
00:38:54Do it.
00:38:59Oh, no.
00:39:01Sheriff, I gotta get out of here, man.
00:39:03Hey, look.
00:39:03My name is Mike Dawson.
00:39:06My girlfriend's name is Ray Swanson.
00:39:08She was on her way to the airport.
00:39:09Wait a minute.
00:39:10Mike Dawson?
00:39:11Are you that boxer?
00:39:14No, no, no.
00:39:15That's Mike Tyson.
00:39:16Are you sure?
00:39:17You look something like him.
00:39:19Well, since then I lost a lot of weight and I'm a vegetarian.
00:39:22Come on, man.
00:39:24That's Mike Tyson.
00:39:26Cool.
00:39:26Can you please me?
00:39:28Can I say something, please?
00:39:33Hello, Sheriff.
00:39:35Hello, Mary.
00:39:37Could you let Sonny know that I might be a little bit late getting home tonight?
00:39:42Yes, ma'am.
00:39:43We'll do it right away.
00:39:45Go tell Sonny what's going on.
00:39:47You know where to find him.
00:39:52Sorry to bother y'all.
00:39:57Anybody else got some movies to return or something real important?
00:40:01All right, son.
00:40:02Just calm down.
00:40:04Come on.
00:40:05Bring it in.
00:40:09How'd you?
00:40:10How'd you curve?
00:40:16You got someplace cold?
00:40:18Hold it.
00:40:18In a freezer.
00:40:19Take it in back.
00:40:23Swap team's on its way, Sheriff.
00:40:45Get a two shot of the Sheriff and me.
00:40:48And I want to use the cars as a backdrop.
00:40:50I think you're going to want this.
00:40:52Yes.
00:40:56Yes.
00:40:56Yes.
00:40:57Oh, man.
00:40:58We got the f***ing TV news, too?
00:41:05Hey, I thought that thing was only hooked up to the security camera.
00:41:09Well, I've got to keep up with General Hospital.
00:41:11Yeah, that's a good shot.
00:41:12All right.
00:41:12A convenience store in North Butte.
00:41:15The information we have is still sketchy, but wait a minute.
00:41:19One of the suspects is approaching the door, possibly to surrender to police.
00:41:24Oh, man.
00:41:24They cut off the fire.
00:41:30Get shot them in.
00:41:36Oh, man.
00:41:36You got to be here.
00:41:39Oh, man.
00:41:44Dude, drop the fire.
00:41:44Oh, man.
00:41:48You got to be here, boss.
00:41:49You got to be there, boss.
00:41:49Oh, man.
00:41:57Hold your fire!
00:41:59I've been hit!
00:42:00Oh, they shot him, man!
00:42:01Oh, damn!
00:42:04Oh!
00:42:06Hold your fire!
00:42:10Hold your fire!
00:42:11No, you can't stop!
00:42:22Hold me!
00:42:24Oh, it's okay, Michael.
00:42:25I've never been with a white girl before.
00:42:27It's okay, it's the last minute.
00:42:29It's nobody enough.
00:42:30Oh, it's okay.
00:42:31It doesn't look that bad.
00:42:32It looks bad.
00:42:34It does, my brother.
00:42:35You gotta get that shamed out, girl.
00:42:37Oh, I do.
00:42:38Okay, how about some alcohol?
00:42:39I mean...
00:42:41Jack, what the hell's going on in there?
00:42:44You got any casualties?
00:42:50You need a doctor in there?
00:42:52Be strong.
00:42:54Carry on, my cockazordian, brother.
00:42:56He's a warrior.
00:42:58Peace be still.
00:42:59Okay, okay, maybe I should get some ice.
00:43:01First, we've got to determine if the eye is dislocated
00:43:03or if it's merely protruding from the socket.
00:43:05That might be hard.
00:43:06He always looks a little cockeyed to me.
00:43:08Have you got a sterile cloth?
00:43:10I'll sterile.
00:43:12Okay.
00:43:13Who's got steady hands?
00:43:14Let me.
00:43:15Oh, wait a minute, man.
00:43:15I've seen this.
00:43:16I've been to jail.
00:43:18I know what y'all trying to do.
00:43:19I think I've got some Q reaction.
00:43:22Forceps.
00:43:23Ow!
00:43:26Oh, my God.
00:43:27Hunk of glass.
00:43:31Dorito.
00:43:32Barbecue or Cool Ranch?
00:43:34Cool Ranch.
00:43:37According to police sources, Mike Tyson, that's right, the former heavyweight boxing champion,
00:43:42is at this moment engaging in the fight of his life inside this convenience store.
00:43:47What can I get you, honey?
00:43:50Uh, just, um, a cup of coffee.
00:43:55You look like you could use something stronger than a cup of coffee.
00:43:59Oh, no.
00:44:00I don't drink hard liquor.
00:44:02Now, all right.
00:44:03Let me guess.
00:44:04He dumped you for some young thing with a loose top and a tight bottom.
00:44:09Well, no.
00:44:10Actually, it was a car.
00:44:13Sounds like my second husband.
00:44:15Oh, he had a thing for cars?
00:44:19No, he had a thing for prison, movies, and young boys.
00:44:26Hurt the same.
00:44:42Sheriff, sheriff, emergency call.
00:44:46Sheriff, now you're going to have to speak up.
00:44:51Tell Jeremy to keep his benches low.
00:44:54Johnson is a sucker for a low ball.
00:45:02Howard, Alice, what the hell are you two doing here?
00:45:06I understand that you've got Mike Tyson in there.
00:45:10I'd like to tell him that I lost a bundle on that Douglas fight.
00:45:15Yeah.
00:45:20When you're pulling a potato chip out your ass,
00:45:24that just puts everything in perspective.
00:45:28The Mucai Indians of Peru believe that a near-death experience
00:45:33cleanses the spirit
00:45:34and imparts worldly wisdom
00:45:36otherwise gained only through vast years of intensive struggle.
00:45:43Of course, they also eat bugs in sacrifice.
00:45:51Never eaten a bug.
00:45:55I had a bug.
00:46:11Jack, Jack, come on.
00:46:16Do you mind playing something else, man?
00:46:26I think I got it, sheriff.
00:46:28Well, let's give it to him.
00:46:35Wait, I think this is it.
00:46:51Hey!
00:46:57We're going to do this today.
00:46:59See?
00:47:04There go the dump bars.
00:47:06Yes!
00:47:14Well, what now, Sheriff?
00:47:16We wait.
00:47:18You'd think that cutting the power would have a little more effect at night.
00:47:24That's true.
00:47:26Where the hell is my SWAT team?
00:47:30Where the hell is North Butte?
00:47:41Big J, J, Money, do you mind?
00:47:45I mean, do you know some other songs?
00:47:49I know plenty.
00:47:50Thanks.
00:47:51I like one.
00:47:57Reasons.
00:47:58The reasons that we're here.
00:48:02The reasons that we feel our feelings won't disappear.
00:48:10Oh, come on, Jack, go with me.
00:48:13After the love games have been played, all our illusions are just a parade.
00:48:20And all our reasons start to fade.
00:48:26Oh, reasons.
00:48:29The reasons that we're here.
00:48:33The reasons that we feel our feelings won't disappear.
00:48:39We're here in the heart.
00:48:48You want music?
00:48:50Go to church!
00:48:52I got a tape right here, Sheriff.
00:48:58What's on the list, Bo?
00:49:00Well, it says here the next step is to negotiate.
00:49:13We are ready to listen to your demands.
00:49:18What do you want?
00:49:23What the hell did he say?
00:49:26Maybe you could hear him if you hadn't cut off the power.
00:49:32That was pretty sure. I mean, how are we supposed to talk to him now?
00:50:03Let's go.
00:50:07And he ain't wearing no pants.
00:50:10You in there. I'm sending in one of our bullhorns to reestablish communication.
00:50:17Remember, it's government property and you're responsible for its safe return.
00:50:25You just press the button.
00:50:26I know how to use the freaking thing, all right?
00:50:28Hey!
00:50:31Damn.
00:50:33Get your there. Go!
00:50:45That kid's lucky I didn't execute his .
00:50:50Next time I ain't gonna be so generous, huh?
00:50:53You wanna shoot at somebody, huh?
00:50:55Michael, where are you going?
00:50:57Michael, get back here.
00:51:01You're not gonna shoot me, man.
00:51:04I can see it in your eyes.
00:51:06Michael!
00:51:09Come on, go!
00:51:09Come on, go!
00:51:11Come on, go!
00:51:15You got lying eyes.
00:51:20What the hell are you shooting at in there?
00:51:22You wanna be a terrorist, huh?
00:51:23Well, you got your chance. Come on.
00:51:25Come on.
00:51:25What are you doing, man?
00:51:26We're about to negotiate. Come on!
00:51:28Okay, buddy.
00:51:29Okay.
00:51:32Sheriff!
00:51:33Look, I'm sick of this, man.
00:51:35I've been robbed, kidnapped, shot at.
00:51:38I could've stayed in Chicago for this .
00:51:40And all your trick a happy boss hog ass can do is turn off the air conditioner.
00:51:44I'm running out of time.
00:51:46What do you want, Tyson?
00:51:49Okay, he'll release all of the hostages if you provide transportation to the Las Vegas airport by 6.
00:51:56What the hell are you talking about?
00:51:57Look, you need to get to Mexico, right?
00:51:59I need to get to red.
00:52:01Okay, listen up!
00:52:04Somebody's going with me.
00:52:06Somebody beside him!
00:52:09That's humorous.
00:52:10Listen, he needs to get two plane tickets and we need to get transportation to the Vegas airport by 6.
00:52:16And if he don't get all of that, if he don't get his demands met, then...
00:52:20We all die?
00:52:21Then we all die!
00:52:23Yeah!
00:52:24Everybody dies!
00:52:266 o'clock and I...
00:52:27Take this and boom!
00:52:29No, no.
00:52:29Rains everywhere!
00:52:31I'm serious!
00:52:32They know you're serious.
00:52:33Blood and guts!
00:52:34Serious shit!
00:52:35He's just hot!
00:52:36It's hot!
00:52:36It's real hot!
00:52:37It's hot!
00:52:39Find out how much all this is going to cost.
00:52:43All right.
00:52:57Look, man.
00:52:59This is our first trip together.
00:53:01You know what I didn't realize?
00:53:02I didn't realize that she had never been on a plane before, right?
00:53:05So I sit there with her and I said, look, order whatever you want.
00:53:08She looks up and sees the flight attendant button with the little speaker by it.
00:53:12So she goes...
00:53:13Boom!
00:53:15Could I get a Diet Coke?
00:53:17Right?
00:53:17So everybody starts laughing, you know.
00:53:19But I'm like, hey, don't let her off the hook.
00:53:21So she sits there a little longer, right?
00:53:22Diet Coke ain't came.
00:53:24So she goes...
00:53:25These people.
00:53:26Boom!
00:53:27I said, could I get a Diet Coke, please?
00:53:29And it was just hilarious, man.
00:53:31You know, she was just so innocent.
00:53:33Like...
00:53:33Why were they laughing?
00:53:36Yeah, I'm not even wasting my time.
00:53:39That's my little ray, man.
00:53:40Little ray of sunshine.
00:53:42That's really pretty.
00:53:43Where is that?
00:53:44It's Mexico.
00:53:46Yeah.
00:53:47It's Topolo Bampo.
00:53:49Damn, brother.
00:53:50You're traveling, man.
00:53:52No, I was born there.
00:53:54How do you say it?
00:53:56Topolo Bampo.
00:53:58Never heard of it.
00:54:00It's a small port city 20 miles south of Los Moches.
00:54:03It's known for its temperate climate and guava bean exports.
00:54:07Oh, really?
00:54:11Yeah.
00:54:12Oh.
00:54:13See right here, we don't been seeing each other for a couple of weeks.
00:54:16We hadn't even known each other that long, you know?
00:54:20Oh.
00:54:22I'm telling you, Gloria, we were like, we were like the perfect fit.
00:54:27The first night we were together, man.
00:54:29Oh, man.
00:54:30Humpty.
00:54:31Humpty sat on the wall.
00:54:32We could just talk for hours and hours about everything.
00:54:36She would talk for hours about nothing.
00:54:42But I don't mind listening.
00:54:44Hello in there.
00:54:46We've got ourselves a little bit of a problem out here.
00:54:50Michael, come over here.
00:54:58Uh, what problem?
00:55:01Well, what with the cost of putting up the new scoreboard and fiscal cutbacks, uh, the mayor says that, uh,
00:55:09there's no way that we can charter a plane.
00:55:12We can send you on a bus, though.
00:55:15It goes down through Nogales and Yuma.
00:55:18It's a lot of pretty scenery down there.
00:55:21How about first class seats?
00:55:24It's a damn bus.
00:55:26I guess we could put you closer to the crapper or something.
00:55:29What about dinner?
00:55:32Um, is there a meal?
00:55:38You got a brochure here, Sheriff.
00:55:44Um, a delicious portion of mesquite-roasted long-hard steak smothered in a colorful vegetable melody, baked potato or rice
00:55:58pil...
00:55:59Boy, that sounds good.
00:56:03Okay, I'll go.
00:56:05That's cool.
00:56:06Okay, Tyson, you got a deal.
00:56:09We got a deal.
00:56:11Agreed.
00:56:12Wait, hey.
00:56:13Wait.
00:56:15One more thing.
00:56:16I need a dozen roses, no, make that two dozen roses sent to the Vegas airport right now.
00:56:26Find out how much that's gonna cost.
00:56:31So why come in here and rob a convenience store?
00:56:34There ain't no money in there.
00:56:36Why don't you go to, like, a bank or something more lucrative?
00:56:38Oh, yeah.
00:56:38Like, I'm very good at this.
00:56:40Well, you could fool me.
00:56:42Well, you come in here, you're waving your gun and shit, Billy Badass.
00:56:45Okay, nobody move!
00:56:47I thought you was doing it.
00:56:50Really?
00:56:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:56:53This is my first time.
00:56:54No.
00:56:55Get out.
00:56:56You stu-
00:56:57Man, you on your way.
00:56:59How much does this tear gas cost?
00:57:01No, we're sort of free.
00:57:06Good job, Dale.
00:57:12Good job.
00:57:19Sheriff, Dale's back.
00:57:21Get any tear gas?
00:57:23Well, sort of.
00:57:25Sort of?
00:57:27Clue, good buddy.
00:57:28Got an important job, boy.
00:57:29Before me and you, baby, drink tea.
00:57:31What the hell is that thing?
00:57:33Sort of.
00:57:36That's a nice gun, Dale.
00:57:39Looks mighty powerful.
00:57:42Clue.
00:57:43Sheriff's orders.
00:57:45Clue, how's it coming?
00:57:47What's that, Sheriff?
00:57:48What is your status?
00:57:50The fuse is lit.
00:57:53I repeat.
00:57:54The fuse has been lit.
00:57:58How long is this gonna take?
00:58:00Well, I really have no idea.
00:58:03Where the hell is my SWAT team?
00:58:06You ordered the burrito with extra cheese.
00:58:11What's the day job?
00:58:12I don't know.
00:58:12What did you really do?
00:58:13What did you do before this?
00:58:15Migrant work.
00:58:16What?
00:58:17Migrant work.
00:58:18Migrant work.
00:58:20Really?
00:58:21No, I'm president of Disneyland.
00:58:23What do you think?
00:58:24Oh, oh.
00:58:26Things weren't going that way in Mexico, so...
00:58:29Me and my old man came over here.
00:58:33Hooked up with a couple of harvesting companies.
00:58:37Bent over ten hours a day for two bucks an hour.
00:58:42You just work and work and work and work and...
00:58:49Then you die.
00:58:52Oh.
00:58:54Oh.
00:58:57Oh.
00:58:57All right.
00:59:05What did you pick?
00:59:08Squash.
00:59:11Beets.
00:59:13Beets?
00:59:16Strawberries.
00:59:17Strawberries.
00:59:18Melons.
00:59:20Melons.
00:59:21Oh, yeah.
00:59:23Melons.
00:59:26I'm way heavier.
00:59:27I'm way heavier.
00:59:38Why?
01:00:04It's about good goddamn time.
01:00:09Your order's my order, sir.
01:00:11Give him what he need, Bo.
01:00:16What do you need?
01:00:24Sonny!
01:00:25Mary!
01:00:25Mary!
01:00:26No, no, no, no, no, no!
01:00:27No, don't do any of this, please.
01:00:32Hi, Sonny.
01:00:36You got a little bit of a situation here, Sonny, so make it short, okay?
01:00:43All right.
01:00:46How you doing, Mary?
01:00:50You treating you all right?
01:00:54He's treating me fine.
01:00:55Where were you, Sonny?
01:00:58I came right over as soon as Clute told me.
01:01:02But Clute got back a long time ago.
01:01:04Now, Mary, I rushed right over.
01:01:07Ain't that right, Clute?
01:01:09He sure did, Mary!
01:01:11Hey, Clute?
01:01:13Where was Sonny when you found him?
01:01:15Now, you just wait just a second, darling, okay?
01:01:17I know where you were, Sonny.
01:01:19What, you think I'm the only person in the whole damn town who don't know?
01:01:33Don't you even wanna know where I make you wear them rubbers even though I'm on the film?
01:01:42You said that you wanted to keep the real feeling special for our wedding.
01:01:48Grow up, sonny.
01:01:50I did it because I know that you're screwing Pamela Ridgeway and I didn't want to catch something.
01:01:57Now, Mary, you just shut up.
01:02:00Hey!
01:02:00Hear me?
01:02:01Hey, don't talk to her like that.
01:02:03Hey, this ain't your fight, boy.
01:02:05Hey, don't you yell at him!
01:02:17What?
01:02:19What?
01:02:21What?
01:02:24What?
01:02:24What?
01:02:25What?
01:02:25What?
01:02:25You know what, sonny?
01:02:27I'm going to Mexico.
01:02:29Bye.
01:02:34I think you better leave, sonny.
01:02:56Maybe you want this back.
01:03:00Oh, man.
01:03:03You know that sonny told me he paid $700 for this thing?
01:03:10I found that receipt and it was like 40 bucks on one of those television shopping channels,
01:03:15you know?
01:03:20Do you guys have any of those television shopping channels in Mexico?
01:03:24Because I don't have anything to wear.
01:03:27Where I live?
01:03:28Yeah.
01:03:29We don't have no TV.
01:03:31Oh.
01:03:31Oh, but my grandparents have.
01:03:35Do you guys get General Hospital?
01:03:36Because I love General Hospital.
01:03:39We have an animal hospital.
01:03:41Do you need one?
01:03:43Waiting on your order, sir.
01:03:45I'm in position.
01:03:47Sheriff.
01:03:48Looks like the team's here.
01:03:55What is going on?
01:03:59Just waiting for your order, sir.
01:04:04We won!
01:04:05We won!
01:04:07We won!
01:04:08We won!
01:04:09We won!
01:04:10We won!
01:04:10We won!
01:04:10We won!
01:04:14We won!
01:04:15Let's get home any too clearly, sir.
01:04:19Sir, should I take that shot?
01:04:24Ah!
01:04:26Ah!
01:04:31Everybody back at the bus!
01:04:32Get out of the car!
01:04:33You can't get out of the car!
01:04:42Drop the guns!
01:04:43Open the door!
01:04:43You throw up the guns or I block his head off!
01:04:47What the hell's going on in there, Captain?
01:04:49Sounds like Guadalcanal.
01:04:50Sheriff, we got another problem.
01:04:52Oh, just one?
01:04:53Things are looking up.
01:04:54You know Lola Glaspie?
01:04:56Yeah, the town treasurer.
01:04:57What about her?
01:04:58Well, you remember last year,
01:04:59there was a big deal about her winning the trip to France?
01:05:03Mm-hmm.
01:05:04Well, she didn't exactly win the trip.
01:05:06They got her down at the mayor's office now confessing up a storm.
01:05:12How much we got?
01:05:15Well, we don't have enough for the charter and two dozen roses.
01:05:18Give it to me straight, Bo.
01:05:20Well, we can rent a tour bus for about an hour.
01:05:23What about the flowers?
01:05:25Well, there was a funeral down in Vegas,
01:05:28and they got an FTD pick-me-up bouquet left over
01:05:31when they said we could have it for half price.
01:05:36I guess that'll have to do.
01:05:38I told you kids to get out in there.
01:05:40Get them kids down.
01:05:43Sheriff!
01:05:44Get down, you piece of .
01:05:48I've been straight with you.
01:05:51I ain't heard nobody in there.
01:05:53And you sent this asshole to mess with me.
01:05:56Just take it easy.
01:05:57We made a mistake.
01:05:59You're damn right you made a mistake.
01:06:00You get back inside, man.
01:06:02Hold on.
01:06:02What are you coming at him like this for?
01:06:04You gonna mess around and get everybody in here killed?
01:06:06The bus is on its way right now.
01:06:12I got to get out of here.
01:06:16Just take it easy, son.
01:06:20Hand your f***ing son.
01:06:24There's a body in there, sir.
01:06:27This is getting good.
01:06:30Let it go. Come on. Let it go.
01:06:47What the hell?
01:06:53Get away from him.
01:06:56Get the hell away from him!
01:07:00Mary!
01:07:24It's not coming.
01:07:25Now, trust me, honey.
01:07:27They always come.
01:07:29Excuse me.
01:07:30I'm looking for someone named Rachel, who's flying to Chicago.
01:07:34That's me.
01:07:37Pretty.
01:07:38Where are they from?
01:07:40There's a card.
01:07:43Let me see.
01:07:43What's it say?
01:07:44Let me see.
01:07:46Our deepest sympathy on the loss of your loved one.
01:07:50My task is...
01:08:04Answer the phone.
01:08:12Hello?
01:08:15Um...
01:08:16Yes, he is.
01:08:18It's for you.
01:08:21Is it right?
01:08:22Mm-mm.
01:08:23It's your father.
01:08:24My father?
01:08:25Mm-hmm.
01:08:27Girl, my father is dead.
01:08:30Hello?
01:08:31Deputy Bomber.
01:08:32Oh!
01:08:33Hey!
01:08:33Oh, Dad!
01:08:34Hey, Daddy!
01:08:34Girl, when you said father, I thought you meant my priest.
01:08:37Yeah, my priest is dead.
01:08:39God bless him.
01:08:44Yeah.
01:08:45I know you can't talk freely in there.
01:08:47When I ask you a question, I want you to say,
01:08:52the weather is fine if the answer is yes.
01:08:56If the answer is no, I want you to say,
01:08:59it looks like rain.
01:09:01You understand?
01:09:03Mm-hmm.
01:09:03Oh, yeah!
01:09:04You know what?
01:09:05As a matter of fact, the sun just popped out.
01:09:09Okay.
01:09:10Here's the deal.
01:09:11We want you to help us take him down.
01:09:15Are you willing to play ball?
01:09:18Uh...
01:09:18Actually, it's starting to look like rain.
01:09:24Yeah.
01:09:24Now, you do your part,
01:09:26and we'll make sure that plane stays on the ground.
01:09:29We got a deal?
01:09:32The weather is nice.
01:09:38Okay.
01:09:39Here's what I want you to do.
01:09:41You get him to release everybody else,
01:09:44and then I want you to walk out there with him.
01:09:47Now, you keep your eyes on the sheriff,
01:09:48because he's going to ask you to swing away.
01:09:51Hand across the hat,
01:09:52and then across the chest,
01:09:53and then when you see him do that,
01:09:55I want you to hit the dirt,
01:09:56and we'll take care of the rest.
01:09:58You got that?
01:10:00Okay.
01:10:01Well, okay, I'll tell you what, Dad.
01:10:02I'll holler.
01:10:04All right.
01:10:05Okay.
01:10:06Bye-bye.
01:10:08Uh...
01:10:09Yeah, that's my dad.
01:10:12He's an old, retired, uh, weatherman.
01:10:15Oh.
01:10:19I want you to take him out in the first shot, Bo.
01:10:23Let's get those kids out of here.
01:10:25Yes, sir.
01:10:50All right, folks.
01:10:53I need you all to move back.
01:10:54No.
01:10:54Let's go.
01:10:55Let's go.
01:10:55Come on, move it.
01:10:56We're on safety.
01:10:57Let's...
01:10:57Come on, move it.
01:10:58Let's go.
01:10:59What's going on, Eli?
01:11:01Just a precautionary measure.
01:11:04You want us to move?
01:11:06Hold on.
01:11:07No, you're fine right there.
01:11:17Clarence, that's the one you're gonna pay for.
01:11:20This is yours.
01:11:23Thanks.
01:11:30For God's sake, James, get that.
01:11:33It's 116 in the shade.
01:11:39Quick, wait.
01:11:41No guns!
01:11:48Turn it, put it down.
01:11:53Let's go.
01:12:02It's all right, baby.
01:12:03It's gonna be all right.
01:12:07Are you okay?
01:12:08No, she's not okay.
01:12:09She don't like being around a killer.
01:12:11I didn't kill anybody.
01:12:12Then what about the dead body in the crate?
01:12:14What about the what?
01:12:15The body.
01:12:16The body in the crate.
01:12:18Shh.
01:12:20It's my father.
01:12:22Shh.
01:12:22I'm trying to take him back to Mexico.
01:12:31Don't stop moving.
01:12:32Don't stop moving.
01:12:40Mary!
01:12:42Drop your weapon!
01:12:43Drop it!
01:12:44No, no, no, no!
01:12:45Drop your gun around by!
01:12:46I'm gonna go by to Mexico!
01:12:48Drop your gun!
01:12:48Drop it down!
01:12:51Hold on, wait a minute!
01:12:52Sheriff!
01:12:52Move out of the way, Tyson.
01:12:53Sheriff, he's not a killer.
01:12:54If you want us to hold that damn plane,
01:12:56you will move your ass out of the way right now!
01:12:58What's going on, Michael?
01:13:00Man, they tried to get me to set you up.
01:13:03You did a pretty good job.
01:13:05oh!
01:13:05Oh, oh!
01:13:06Hey, leave him alone!
01:13:08Oh, oh, oh!
01:13:11Oh hell.
01:13:12Mary, you dropped that weapon in the back away from him.
01:13:14He's got a dead body in there!
01:13:15I know.
01:13:17It's his father and he is trying to take him home.
01:13:21What?!
01:13:21Clue, well, that's your fault.
01:13:23That don't seem to make a big difference. He's under arrest anyway.
01:13:26Oh, come on, Sheriff. For what charge?
01:13:28Well, for attempted murder, for that shot he took at you.
01:13:32Attempted...
01:13:32Well, look, if you charge him with attempted murder,
01:13:34then you gotta charge him with attempted murder, too, with his Barney five...
01:13:40Uh, all right, men. Put away your weapons.
01:13:52What is it you want, Tyson?
01:13:55I want what you promised.
01:13:56First of all, I need to get this dude to Mexico so he can take care of his father.
01:14:00We can't do that. We don't have enough money.
01:14:03You don't have enough money? What are you talking about?
01:14:05Look at all these tax-paying citizens around here.
01:14:08You got some money in here. Come on, don't b**** with me.
01:14:11Town's broke.
01:14:12We are not.
01:14:17Fifty.
01:14:19Oh, come on, Tyson. Don't do this.
01:14:21That's fifty. That's a start. Anybody else?
01:14:25Huh?
01:14:35You're mad.
01:14:36Give me something.
01:14:36Good boy, Rusty!
01:14:38There we go.
01:14:40Anybody else?
01:14:41I got fifty.
01:14:42Fifty and fifty and the five and the fifty.
01:14:44Well, this has been about as good as going till matinee.
01:14:48There we go.
01:14:49Thank you, Mr. Bojangles.
01:14:51This definitely qualifies as my rainy day.
01:14:54Jack had the money in his shoe.
01:14:56Look out now. Everybody, please, quickly.
01:14:58Thank you, people. Come, children.
01:15:00Oh, look at these happy, giving faces.
01:15:01Come on down.
01:15:02Come hither.
01:15:03Feel the love.
01:15:04Yes.
01:15:05I'm liking that.
01:15:07Sheriff, all I need is one more favor.
01:15:10I need to get a ride to that airport.
01:15:20It won't do you any good.
01:15:26We didn't hold the plane.
01:15:29So you just straight up lie.
01:15:32It's in the book.
01:15:40Is that you?
01:15:41Yeah.
01:15:43He's not coming.
01:15:45I'm sorry, honey.
01:15:47Yeah, it's okay.
01:15:49Thanks, Gloria.
01:15:51Bye-bye, baby.
01:15:51Oh, here, now.
01:15:52Don't forget your flowers.
01:15:53Here you go.
01:15:54Thanks.
01:15:55I'll see ya.
01:15:57Bye-bye.
01:15:57Bye.
01:16:04Good luck to you, son.
01:16:05Gracias a todos.
01:16:07I think I owe you a win.
01:16:09Hey, don't worry about it, man.
01:16:10Hey, I'm really sorry about your girlfriend and all.
01:16:13She probably wouldn't take me back right now anyway.
01:16:15Well, then she'd be a fool.
01:16:17You think?
01:16:18Mm-hmm.
01:16:19Oh, the love.
01:16:20Watch this one.
01:16:22Watch it.
01:16:23Okay, if you're ever in Mexico.
01:16:25Well, if you're ever in Chicago robbing a convenience store,
01:16:28I hope they pop a cap in your ass.
01:16:31Michael.
01:16:34What's going on?
01:16:36I've just had one hell of an unlucky day, man.
01:16:42Once upon a time, there was a wise warrior in a tribe
01:16:45who found a horse,
01:16:48and everybody said what a lucky man he was.
01:16:52Then one day, the horse threw him and he broke his leg,
01:16:54and everyone said what an unlucky man he was.
01:16:58Then there was a great battle.
01:17:01All of the young men died except the wise warrior
01:17:04who couldn't go because he had a broken leg.
01:17:10Deep.
01:17:11Hmm?
01:17:13Deep as usual, strange as hell.
01:17:16But deep.
01:17:18Get on out of here, man.
01:17:25Hey, Michael.
01:17:26Yeah?
01:17:27Did I mention I knew a girl in Topo La Bamba once?
01:17:31Yee-haw!
01:17:34Ah!
01:17:35Ah!
01:17:38Ah!
01:17:39Ah!
01:17:41Ah!
01:17:42Ah!
01:17:42Ah!
01:17:43Ah!
01:17:44Ah!
01:17:44Ah!
01:17:45Ah!
01:17:46Ah!
01:17:47Ah!
01:17:53Ah!
01:17:53Ah!
01:17:59Ah!
01:18:01Ah!
01:18:02Ah!
01:18:02Ah!
01:18:02Ah!
01:18:12Ah!
01:18:13Ah!
01:18:14Ah!
01:18:14Ah!
01:18:15Ah!
01:18:16Ah!
01:18:17Ah!
01:18:19Ah!
01:18:20Ah!
01:18:20Ah!
01:18:23Ah!
01:18:30Hey, wait up!
01:18:59That's Jose's plane!
01:19:01All right!
01:19:04Hey, Michael!
01:19:06This may be your lucky day after all!
01:19:09Maybe I can make it still.
01:19:21Wow!
01:19:23Grapefruit lates!
01:19:23Hey, you're my ride.
01:19:25We only got ten minutes.
01:19:26Yeah, we can still make it.
01:19:28Are you sure?
01:19:28Yeah, just a short flight over the canyon.
01:19:31Condom with glasses, all right.
01:19:33Wait, you got that 35 bucks?
01:19:36At least half a.
01:19:38Come on, please, this cannot be happening to me!
01:19:47Consider that alone, Tyson.
01:19:53Have a nice trip.
01:19:54Thanks, man.
01:19:57I'm a little sensitive about my money.
01:19:59See, see.
01:20:00Get me there.
01:20:07Sarah!
01:20:11How long have you had your license?
01:20:13What is this license?
01:20:16I'm on my way.
01:20:18I'm gonna shake it.
01:20:20If you get cold,
01:20:21I'll be your cover.
01:20:23Don't have to worry.
01:20:25Cause I'm here.
01:20:27No need to suffer.
01:20:28Cause I'm here.
01:20:30Go, we need to go!
01:20:31Come on!
01:20:32It's a nice fashion.
01:20:35Hold on.
01:20:37My time.
01:20:39Reach out, don't hear.
01:20:40This is the departure of all the air flights.
01:20:43The 2-4 to Chicago is ready for final recording.
01:20:46Oh, my hands.
01:20:47All when the flash να wish to be on board the aircraft.
01:20:50To clear opponents,
01:20:53Hold on.
01:20:55Yeah!
01:20:57Hold on!
01:20:59Hold on.
01:21:01Hold on.
01:21:02Hold on.
01:21:03Hold on.
01:21:03Hold on.
01:21:03I'm fighting.
01:21:04Hey!
01:21:05That's my car!
01:21:06Oh, I'm fighting.
01:21:08Oh, yeah!
01:21:12Hold on.
01:21:13Hold on.
01:21:14Hold on.
01:21:14Hold on.
01:21:21Did you see the excitement on the TV today?
01:21:24It was like cops without the commercials.
01:21:26You're not kidding.
01:21:27Early an hour glued to the set.
01:21:29When they came out of there in their underwear, I had to take a pill.
01:21:33But how they could mistake that skinny guy for Mike Tyson, I'll never know.
01:21:47You give me the other half of it now, okay?
01:21:51Okay?
01:21:54Craig!
01:21:55Craig!
01:21:56Has anyone seen a black lady?
01:21:59The North Butte Sheriff's Department, shown here bombarding the convenience store, issued an apology.
01:22:04Providing transportation to Mexico for one of the businesses.
01:22:39Oh, you waited for me.
01:22:41Oh, I knew you'd be later.
01:22:42You ever on time.
01:22:46Oh, let's go home.
01:22:48Oh, my God.
01:23:00Can I get a Diet Coke, please?
01:23:03Hello?
01:23:03Could I get a Diet Coke, please?
01:23:07Don't make me go for the ding-a-ling.
01:23:10Don't make the ding-a-ling go for you.
01:23:12Oh, my God.
01:23:18What in the hell?
01:23:20Okay.
01:23:21Don't move.
01:23:24Michael.
01:23:26Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:23:28Ho, ho, ho, ho.
01:23:30Brand new for the scene.
01:23:32Know what I mean?
01:23:33Brand new for the millennium.
01:23:35That is it.
01:23:37For real.
01:23:38Done deal.
01:23:39Bo, bo.
01:23:39You know how many us want to say they know hell?
01:23:42You know how many us want to hit though they can tell?
01:23:45You know how many haters say the record's supposed to sell?
01:23:48Oh, well.
01:23:50It's a done deal.
01:23:51You know how many us want to say they know hell?
01:24:03Don't let me hold you up
01:24:06Or be some type of inconvenience
01:24:09I'm a lyrical genius
01:24:10Believe me, I don't need this
01:24:12Hold you up, fool, I will roll you up
01:24:14And if you really wanna step
01:24:16I'll be the one to get the dough
01:24:17Just leave the platinum cards
01:24:19And the keys to the road
01:24:20It's done, but you wanna tell me
01:24:22A done deal, deal, deal
01:24:23I don't need y'all nicks to pay my bill, bill, bill
01:24:26Got something on it, I'm gonna take it
01:24:29Lobster is staking, I cannot fake it
01:24:31I feel no need to get butt naked
01:24:32Hellacious visuals, live off my residuals
01:24:36And shit on all you both is individuals
01:24:38The white men rule, just keep your shit on the low
01:24:41And anybody that's driven, it's less than the blow
01:24:44It's cats on two feet, it's jail gettin' mowed
01:24:46But you will never know
01:24:48Cause chick is chicken for my Cheerios
01:24:50No, I mean, everyone just let me know
01:24:52You know how many brothers wanna hit so they can sell
01:25:07You know how many of the little records won't fail
01:25:10Oh, well, it's a duck tail
01:25:13You can go ahead and kick it with them buckethead hoes
01:25:16I'ma work it in your whip and bang the bows
01:25:19I'm the Joe's and those opposed can't fuck with the nose
01:25:22You wanna give me static, I'ma call my folks
01:25:25I just talk this way, but boo, I ain't slow
01:25:27And if that roll is just your friend, well, she keep beeping you folks
01:25:30Just leave my key in the door and I can't see you no more
01:25:33And while you stepping over the thresh, keep this F on the low
01:25:36I throw the rolly and massages
01:25:38European things in my garages
01:25:40Lyrical menages
01:25:42I saw just what the large is
01:25:44Say words to me
01:25:45And ain't no baby daddy checking my currency
01:25:48You got to give me what I got, dude
01:25:50Gross the most revenue
01:25:52I said about you
01:25:53I ain't got the time to need, I remind you
01:25:56I hear your whispers
01:25:57Who lovin' her, who kissin' her
01:25:59Buzz it, smell your pie
01:26:00How many lovers wanna say they know hell
01:26:03You know how many buzzers wanna hit the label sale
01:26:06You know how many hackers say the records won't sale
01:26:09Oh, well, it's a dot deal
01:26:12You know how many lovers wanna say they know hell
01:26:15You know how many buzzers wanna hit so they can fail
01:26:17You know how many hackers say the records won't sale
01:26:21Oh, well, it's a dot deal
01:26:43You know how many hackers won't say they know hell
01:26:50You know how many buzzers wanna hit so they can fail
01:26:53You know how many hate to say the records won't sell
01:26:56Oh, well, it's a dumb tale
01:26:58You know how many ever wanna say they know hell
01:27:01You know how many ain't gonna fuck up in hell
01:27:04You know how many hate to say the records won't sell
01:27:07Oh, well, it's a dumb tale
01:27:12Uh-huh, a dumb tale
01:27:16Uh-huh
01:27:20Calaver, pull the back, put it down on
01:27:25Let it see, can't do
01:27:29A done deal, and that's real
01:27:34You know how many ever wanna say they know hell
01:27:37You know how many buzzers wanna hear so they can tell
01:27:40You know how many hate to say the records won't sell
01:27:43Oh, well, it's a dumb tale
01:27:45You know how many ever wanna say they know hell
01:27:48You know how many buzzers wanna hear so they can tell
01:27:51You know how many hate to say the records won't sell
01:27:54Oh, well, it's a dumb tale
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