- 17 hours ago
Lucky Luke S01E08 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:04Don't worry cowboy, I'll let you live, but it will be worse, it will be worse because
00:20I'll be all around you, far into the desert, in everything you hear, my name will be there.
00:31In everything you see, my name will be there.
00:37In the whispering wind, my name will be there.
00:41Under each heavy footstep you take, is my name.
00:46My name will be that wall you endlessly run into.
00:55And you'll be afraid cowboy, afraid even of your shadow.
01:01There you go.
01:02There you go.
01:19There you go.
01:23Yes, that was a good day.
01:23Now, there's another one.
01:23There's another one.
01:25There's another one.
01:26If we look at the wall, there's another one.
01:26There's another one.
01:29There's another one.
01:31There's another one.
01:32Bye!
01:48Bye!
01:49Bye!
01:50Bye.
01:52Bye!
02:05Lincoln's convoy passed through here.
02:08Not far from where we used to live.
02:13You okay?
02:15I'm doing well. Why?
02:16Well, we're going to have to face the man who almost killed you.
02:19It's more like he's going to have to face us.
02:21Okay, so here we are.
02:23I'm being serious and you're acting all tough.
02:25Well, of course I am because we're three against one.
02:27And together we're stronger.
02:30I'm so scared something will happen to you.
03:15It's the convoy. Looks like they're boxed in.
03:20Look at the soldiers on the ground.
03:21The bodies with the gray and red uniforms are sentinels.
03:24The president's personal guard.
03:25You're obviously blindsided.
03:30In everything you hear, in everything you see, my name will be there.
03:36Yoo-hoo.
03:37Hey, analysis of the situation.
03:40Okay.
03:42Uphill, there are shooters hiding in the rocks.
03:44Downhill, the wagons have been blown up.
03:46But no cannon fire.
03:48So either they're out of artillery, or they've been sabotaged like that one.
03:54Did you hear that cracking?
03:55It's a Sharps 59.
03:56It's coming from the wagons.
04:00There's a sniper keeping the enemy in check.
04:02With all the sentinels that have fallen, he won't hold that long.
04:05In other words, we need to figure out how to cross a 300-yard open field with a bunch of
04:10heavily-armed, trigger-happy idiots watching us.
04:13Yep.
04:13We're gonna need a battle plan that's...
04:17daring.
04:18Imprudent.
04:19Suicidal.
04:21Stupid, then.
04:22Stupid.
04:24Stupid.
04:41Over there!
04:45Stupid.
05:00What?
05:01Sorry, but in the Odyssey it worked and Ulysses hid under the sheep's bellies.
05:04No problem.
05:04Bushes don't walk!
05:05What was your idea?
05:06You drew a blank.
05:19I surrender!
05:21I surrender!
05:22No more lives!
05:24Do you hear me?
05:27I surrender!
05:29But my Winchester doesn't!
05:33It's the President.
05:40Move it!
05:41Hurry up!
05:47Hurry!
05:51Hell of a change from Congress!
05:58You should leave us alone for a while.
06:00Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States, ready to serve.
06:05I'm so happy to see you, Luke.
06:06How long has it been?
06:07Almost three years, Mr. President.
06:08That's so funny.
06:09I was thinking of old friends and how I should invite them to Washington and pow.
06:13Here we are together under siege in New Mexico.
06:15Talk about kismet.
06:16We're not here by chance, Mr. President.
06:18What do you mean?
06:24There's gonna be a coup?
06:25Come on, we just won the election.
06:27Really, these guys have no patience.
06:28No, but they do have guns, Mr. President.
06:30So we're here to rescue you.
06:32Oh, is that why you brought your team?
06:33Now I get it.
06:35Between us, the lonesome cowboy, who doesn't wash, talk, or smile.
06:39A bit outdated and cliché, if you know what I mean.
06:41Does make me sad, though.
06:43Are your defenses strong?
06:44Yes.
06:45Of course.
06:46At least, so far.
06:47They attacked us by surprise, but my men fought tooth and nail.
06:50I sent a fireteam behind enemy lines to neutralize their cannons.
06:54The mission must have been successful, otherwise they would have wiped us out.
06:57But none of them came back alive.
06:59Ever since then, we've held on.
07:01Did you try to escape?
07:02Of course, but from above, they've got us surrounded on all three sides.
07:05And ever since they captured our wagon over there, they've closed our rear flank.
07:09Okay, we're surrounded.
07:09However, luckily, we have an excellent sniper to keep the enemy in check.
07:29I've always been a Wild West man at heart.
07:32I can feel it.
07:32I can feel it in my bones.
07:33It awakens something in me.
07:35I feel so much more alive.
07:36And if there's one thing that I've learned so far is that the river rat needs to come home right
07:41now.
07:44The river rat needs to come home right now.
07:47The river rat can't right now?
07:49It's a code.
07:50I sent him to retrieve the ammo off the bodies.
07:53River rat Bambini!
07:54I mean Corporal Bambini!
07:56Come back right away!
07:58Impossible!
07:59What do you mean impossible?
08:00What's wrong with you?
08:02What are you waiting for, Bambini?
08:04For Congress to pass a law against lazy ass...
08:07Look over there.
08:11Ah, you must be one of the men I sent to sabotage the cannons over there.
08:22Come on, hurry up!
08:27That's all?
08:27How many are there?
08:29Thirty-seven.
08:30Count them again.
08:36I lost hope, Sergeant.
08:39Fierce, Mr. President.
08:47I'm the only survivor.
08:49It's as bad as Gettysburg.
08:50It's not a pretty sight.
08:53Permission to resupply and go back and fight, Mr. President.
08:56All their cannons are destroyed, but they still have shooters.
08:59Nice work, Sergeant.
09:00Come on.
09:01Hey, on the other side of the lines.
09:03Did you see where the enemy was hiding?
09:05Yeah.
09:06Why?
09:07Because we're gonna need you.
09:15Well, we don't have enough bullets to hold them off.
09:17Oh, well, Bambini can always go and find some.
09:20That won't help in the long run.
09:22Mr. President, we have to attempt a breakout.
09:24You want us to flee?
09:25Like Southerners?
09:26I don't take sides, Mr. President.
09:28I take action.
09:30This is the rallying point.
09:32We are in the middle.
09:34The enemy is here and here.
09:37Because you already eliminated 23 of their men, they will have to redeploy.
09:41He's right.
09:42Thanks to the President's sharpshooting on their left flank, they all rallied here and
09:46found shelter on the higher ground.
09:50Which means that by crossing both of their firing angles...
09:56Now there's a blind spot.
09:58But the last ten yards before the rallying point is exposed to rain.
10:01Which means we'll die.
10:05Unless, of course, we could cover our entire bodies with metal plates.
10:09Look at these.
10:09They put a bunch of these all over the wagons.
10:12We'll slide these under our clothes to protect us.
10:14We're gonna destroy them.
10:17Mr. President, with all due respect to you, I honestly doubt that...
10:20Well, if push comes to shove, it fails.
10:22We run away.
10:23Z wins.
10:24The system collapses.
10:25She kills people and makes Bambini her toy.
10:27Wait, what?
10:28No, why would I become her toy?
10:30And as for me, I'll fake my own death.
10:32Then I'll come join your little team.
10:34Then, all together, we can go to the plains of South Dakota.
10:38Just a bunch of outlaws hunting outlaws, tracking men and rewards.
10:41The renegades.
10:43Okay.
10:44Or we evacuate in two separate groups.
10:46You three, go with Pierce and Bambini to find reinforcements.
10:49They've already crossed enemy lines, they'll be able to guide you.
10:51The men and I, we'll create a diversion to fool them.
10:54They'll concentrate their gunfire on us, so you can escape.
10:56We'll hold them for as long as necessary.
11:01Let's go.
11:14You can't stay here.
11:16I mean, we need you.
11:17With us.
11:18Right now they need my help here.
11:20What if something goes wrong?
11:25I've got things to tell you.
11:27One more reason to save the country and its freedom of speech.
11:34Don't worry.
11:45You'll take care of the girls.
11:47I mean, all of them.
11:50Everyone.
11:52Everyone.
11:53Everyone.
12:05Hey, you okay?
12:06No.
12:09For courage.
12:16Mr. President?
12:18Would you like some?
12:21Just a second.
12:23Can I try?
12:33I know that smell.
12:34And I know you.
12:37It's chloroform.
12:38It's chloro-what?
12:42What the hell's going on, Pierce?
12:43That's not Pierce.
12:45He took the uniform off his dead body.
12:48But he forgot this little detail.
12:52The Red Badge of Courage.
12:54It's for those who fought in Pittsburgh.
12:56Except he couldn't have been there.
12:58It happened on the same day as the worst battle he ever saw.
13:01Gettysburg.
13:02Almost 200 miles from Pittsburgh.
13:05Sentinels!
13:06Sentinels!
13:19Sentinels!
13:21Sentinels!
13:25Sentinels!
13:28Sentinels!
13:31Sentinels!
13:36Sentinels!
13:39Sentinels!
13:39Sentinels!
13:42Sentinels!
13:42Sentinels!
13:42Sentinels!
13:44Sentinels!
13:44Sentinels!
13:45Sentinels!
13:46Sentinels!
13:47Sentinels!
13:49I don't know.
14:23What are you doing?
14:25What are you doing?
14:29But the right question isn't that.
14:32The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
14:52We've been waiting for your signal.
15:22The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
15:39The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
16:18I put you all the way over here so you can enjoy the scent of the pine trees.
16:23It's impressive how smells can bring back memories as I recall we're not far away. It's like coming home. You
16:31can smell gunpowder, fear, blood.
16:44Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you. Look at the one who spared your life. When he could
16:51have easily killed you instead.
17:21It's time for you to sign, Lincoln.
17:23Eight letters, one period, and it's over.
17:33You really think I'm gonna hand you over New Mexico?
17:35Yes, and in all legality. A first step in renewing the United States.
17:39We're plunging into chaos?
17:41How dare you mention chaos?
17:42When you've destroyed all our values, you promised everything to the people, including freedom to all. Freedom to speak, think,
17:48and own land.
17:49That's not what the people need. All they need is order and rules to follow to know where their place
17:53is. So I'll make sure it all gets restored. I'll empathy and progress. Even your pathetic abolition. I'll dismantle everything.
18:00Yeah, great fantasy you've got there.
18:03How many men do you have left? Four. That's the exact number of times I'll politely ask-
18:09And I politely ask you to fuck off now!
18:16One down, and next will be your private, and I'll rip his eyes out. After that, your corporal-
18:21Not her toy! Not her toy!
18:38I'll sign!
18:44I'll sign.
18:57This is bad.
18:59This is bad.
19:20Why are you smiling?
19:21I just located my finger.
19:24And that makes you smile?
19:26Yeah, it's the right one.
19:34Thank you for such a presidential gesture.
19:36And God bless America.
19:37My dad will bless your America.
19:41Maybe you should ask him for me.
20:05Long live this state of New New Mexico!
20:10This is the start of a new era!
20:13Finally!
20:14We have obtained what we wanted!
20:20Go, go, go!
20:26The declaration!
20:28She stole my declaration!
20:32Come on, guys! Let's put her down!
20:35Come on, guys!
20:36What is that shit!
20:38Go, go, go, go!
20:48Your daughter's got courage.
20:50You didn't raise her so badly after all.
20:52It almost pains me to have to do this.
21:03You have to save our
21:53You have to save our lives
22:04Ah!
22:09Ah!
22:11Ah!
22:13Ah!
22:15Huh!
22:18Ah.
22:37Mr. President!
22:43Wow!
22:45Now that's what you call protection!
23:15I'm gonna kill you!
23:16I'm gonna kill you!
23:37Help!
23:39Help!
23:39Help!
23:39Let me go!
23:41Help!
23:44Help!
23:44Help!
24:10No sudden moves!
24:12Gun in your holster!
24:13My trigger finger is twitching!
24:22Shoot!
24:23Get out!
24:33Look at his hand.
24:35He won't, he's afraid he'll miss.
24:38He also knows I'm a quicker draw than him.
24:46In order not to tremble you must have a heart of stone.
24:51But you decided to let them back into your life.
24:58Now you're paralyzed.
25:01You won't be able to save her.
25:02Yes you will!
25:04Shoot!
25:18Do you hear it coming Luke?
25:23The miracle?
25:26It's that special moment when lightning strikes the same place.
25:29Where it did before.
25:34Today's second lesson is in the west.
25:37If someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold.
25:40It's to hide the cards.
25:52Do you see Luke?
25:53He's a cheater!
25:54That's what makes him quicker!
26:11Tommy, get out of the right direction.?!
26:20What
26:21are you saying!? Go!
26:23Come home,
26:25you're a toujours right. That's the
26:32best way here. You're
26:52Oh, my God.
27:23Oh, my God.
27:48I told you I'd kill you.
28:09I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real calamity.
28:39Oh, my God.
28:42One of the most remarkable figures, a true hero from the Wild West, someone who, I must
28:48admit, I've always been a fan of, the one and only Calamity Jane.
28:56Yes.
29:09Mr. President, this is an honor.
29:14Excuse me.
29:15Sorry.
29:15Do you mind holding this for me, please?
29:19What are you doing here?
29:20Oh, well, I'm here with Mrs. Jane for her book.
29:23What do you mean?
29:23She didn't mention it?
29:25We're relaunching the franchise as a photo note.
29:27Calamity Jane, Volume 3.
29:29Title's mine.
29:30Real feats caught in the act.
29:31There's action and emotion, 100% authentic.
29:33She told me the whole story.
29:35Like, earlier in the forest, when she took on 32 desperados before saving you all.
29:39Thank goodness she was there.
29:41All right.
29:44Well, then, um, did she save us to save us, or for her book, then?
29:50Muybridge.
29:51Photograph.
29:53Find your places, please.
29:55Are you ready, Mr. President?
30:00Stand still.
30:24That was really super intense.
30:27We said a lot of things.
30:31When we avoided saying a lot of things.
30:35This means you'll be leaving, am I right?
30:39Come on, Muybridge.
30:40We're out of here.
30:41I've got work to do.
30:42Coming, coming.
30:43Joe's on the run again.
30:44He robbed Marshall City.
30:46You know him.
30:47While he was playing Marshall protecting the bank,
30:49he ended up robbing the bank.
30:54Okay.
30:54I think I have everything.
30:56Nope.
30:57Hold on.
30:57I'm sorry.
30:58Miss, over there.
30:59What's your name?
31:01Me?
31:02Yes, you.
31:03What's your name?
31:04It's for the book.
31:05Your name is Louise.
31:06He is the best and not been evil.
31:15Yea, I know.
31:34To Stop
31:39Lucky.
31:45Her name's Lucky Louise.
32:14On three.
32:16One, two.
32:37One, two.
32:39One, two.
32:39One.
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