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00:00Tonight on 22 Minutes,
00:01Holly Ev does Rogan's podcast,
00:04Doug Ford defends himself,
00:05Nova Scotia gets a spaceport,
00:07we try to buy Canadian,
00:09we dish out vigilante justice,
00:12and interim NDP leader Don Davies stops by.
00:1522 Minutes starts now!
00:34Welcome to the show,
00:35and happy first week of spring!
00:37Time to put away those heavy coats
00:39and get out those slightly less heavy coats.
00:43This week, the list of the world's happiest countries
00:45came out, and Canada fell from 18 to 25,
00:4830 with the wind chill.
00:50No wonder we're not happy,
00:52we're living next to Operation Epic Failure.
00:55The war has entered its fourth week,
00:57with America begging its allies to help.
01:00Here's Trump launching a charm offensive
01:01on the Japanese Prime Minister.
01:03Emphasis on offensive.
01:05One thing, you don't want to signal too much.
01:08You know, when we go in,
01:09we went in very hard,
01:10and we didn't tell anybody about it,
01:13because we wanted surprise.
01:15Who knows better about surprise than Japan?
01:18Okay?
01:19Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor?
01:22Okay?
01:23Right?
01:25Well, looks like he's bombing the hardest at home.
01:31Canada answered Trump's call for help
01:33with an RSVP.
01:34Really, sort of, vaguely, possibly?
01:37Yesterday, Canada signed on to a joint statement
01:40with seven allies, saying
01:41they're willing to contribute, quote,
01:44appropriate efforts to resume safe passage
01:47through the strait.
01:48But it didn't say what the government
01:50is ready to do.
01:52Canada is treating the war
01:54like it's a co-worker's party.
01:56We might drop by.
01:57Who are all going to be there?
02:00If we learned anything from America's other parties,
02:03it's that you shouldn't go in
02:04unless there's a hard out.
02:09My dear Baroness Genevieve,
02:13the enemy has laid siege to my castle.
02:16In this, my time of need,
02:19I call on you to muster your army
02:22and send aid.
02:23Make haste!
02:25My dear Lord Bartleby,
02:28I'm afraid I must decline your invitation,
02:31for my army is a little nervous
02:34about this whole war thing
02:36due to having been burned by you before.
02:39My regrets.
02:41Actually, Baroness,
02:43you have fallen into my trap,
02:45for my army is the largest
02:47and most tremendous
02:49in all of the realm
02:52and does not need your aid.
02:54T'was but a test
02:56and you hath failed.
02:59My Lord,
03:00in your time of need,
03:02you would kind of randomly do a little test
03:04of my loyalty?
03:07Seems a bit weird.
03:08I actually don't need any aid
03:12because I am...
03:17winning the siege.
03:19I'm looking out my thin little window
03:21and I'm actually not seeing you winning.
03:24Not true.
03:26Fake chronicles.
03:28Methinks you're just throwing stuff at the wall.
03:32Mayhaps to distract from
03:33the Epstein parchments?
03:36I am completely innocent.
03:38I did not know this warlock Epstein.
03:42I don't know.
03:42There are a lot of stained glass windows
03:45of the two of you hanging out together.
03:47I know not of what you speak.
03:54Hmm.
03:56I doth not receive a pigeon reply.
04:00Perhaps he's passed away.
04:03I shall never die.
04:06You're a son of a leper.
04:09Make a Giddy-up great again.
04:18Last week, it was revealed Danielle Smith flew to Saudi Arabia
04:21on a private jet provided by the Saudi government.
04:25Critics are saying that it is an oil-dependent,
04:27religiously fundamentalist government
04:29and the Saudis shouldn't be talking to him.
04:34Thanks to a partial government shutdown,
04:36Donald Trump is sending ICE agents to U.S. airports.
04:39And you thought your baggage got roughed up before.
04:44Meanwhile, Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow says
04:46she wants ICE agents banned from any role in the city
04:49during the FIFA World Cup.
04:50The mayor says citizens have already had their rights
04:52violated enough by the ticket prices.
05:23Well, Robin, looks like it's time to make
05:26excellent smack, Robin.
05:27It really filled up the whole screen,
05:29but we're not out of the woods yet, old chum.
05:31Heads up!
05:34Whoa!
05:36Um, are you sure you meant to do yours that hard?
05:39My what?
05:40Your pow.
05:41Your punch.
05:42It seemed different.
05:43Really? I don't think so.
05:44No, it felt like a lot.
05:46It was appropriate for the situation.
05:48Yeah, okay, yeah,
05:49it was appropriate for the situation, that's right.
05:51Look alive, Robin!
05:55Like, what did that just say?
05:57What did I just do?
05:58What you had to.
06:00I don't know, Batman.
06:00I think that said unnecessary violence.
06:03I'm pretty sure it said whammy.
06:06Maybe we shouldn't be doing this.
06:07I mean, look, watch.
06:09Like, what was that?
06:11Am I allowed to do that?
06:12It's nothing. Stop freaking out.
06:14You want to get these crooks out of Gotham, right?
06:16Yeah, yeah, no, I do, I do.
06:17Behind you!
06:21Oh, wow, okay.
06:23Yeah, I'm seeing it now.
06:25That was a long one.
06:26Yeah, I barely had enough time to read all that.
06:28You're right.
06:29Something doesn't feel good about this.
06:32This is what I'm saying.
06:33I mean, think about it.
06:33We're both wearing masks,
06:35we're not actually cops,
06:37and neither of us has any formal training.
06:39You know, you're right.
06:41I'm just a guy who fell down a well
06:42and got scared by bats.
06:44So maybe we're overstepping?
06:47Tell you what.
06:48I'm rich.
06:49Why don't I just make all of this go away
06:52and you and I never talk about it again?
06:54I'd really like that, Batman.
06:56Excellent, Robin.
06:57Now, let's get you a triple scoop
06:59of Rocky Road ice cream.
07:02I'm an adult man!
07:04He's a grown boy!
07:05I'm a man!
07:06A girl, he touched him!
07:10A Canadian Border Services Agency dog
07:13sniffed out 22.5 kilos of raw meat
07:16in a traveler's luggage.
07:17Said everyone else in the airport,
07:19yeah, we smell that too.
07:22This week, the federal government
07:24announced it's investing $200 million
07:26into a Nova Scotia space launch pad.
07:29And we have a photo of the first spacecraft here.
07:33T-minus two minutes.
07:36Crew 12 is ready.
07:37Copy.
07:39Ground control.
07:40All systems go.
07:41Over.
07:42Yeah, boy?
07:44Yeah, boy.
07:45What?
07:46Uh, cancel ground control.
07:49Please repeat.
07:50Over.
07:51Yeah.
07:52Bye.
07:54What is he saying?
07:55I don't know.
07:56But you're from here.
07:57No, I'm not.
07:57I'm from Ontario.
07:59Ground control.
08:00Please confirm.
08:01All systems go.
08:02Jesus, Murphy.
08:03What do you want from us?
08:05The system is right good.
08:07She's a goal, boy.
08:08The system's a beaut.
08:10Oh, okay?
08:13All right.
08:13Final checks.
08:14Vince.
08:16Radar.
08:17Main engine.
08:19Lift off.
08:19Confirm crew 12 is clear to sender.
08:22Go on now.
08:22Fill your boots, big fella.
08:24Sorry, with what?
08:25Where is it, this boot?
08:27Maybe he means the hatch?
08:29The hatch?
08:29You mean the storm door?
08:31What?
08:32I think our radios are jammed by.
08:33They can't seem to hear us.
08:35Do you copy cancel?
08:36I guess they cancel.
08:38All right, then.
08:39Take off in Tim's minus 10 seconds.
08:41What do you call a countdown, Andy Ganesh?
08:42What?
08:43A sobriety test.
08:44Oh, my God.
08:46You're so bad.
08:47You are.
08:48You're the devil.
08:49Ground control.
08:51Oh, yeah.
08:51Yeah, no.
08:52How are you getting on?
08:54Getting on?
08:55Do they not think we are on rock?
09:01I hate to be rude, but I don't have a clue what they're saying.
09:04This is sin.
09:05I'm just glad they're having a great time.
09:07Accent's a right tick.
09:08Yeah.
09:09Not from here, see?
09:10Come from away.
09:10Yeah.
09:19A new LeBooBoo movie is reportedly in development, but personally, I'm already excited for the
09:25sequel, LeBooBoo to Electric BoogalooBoo Boo.
09:32Doesn't matter.
09:35Electric BoogalooBooBoo.
09:37This week, to ease tensions between Canada and the U.S., Pierre Polyev made a diplomatic
09:42mission to the seat of American power, Joe Rogan's podcast.
09:47And like any good guest, he brought a gift for the host.
09:51This is from a gunsmith and machinist in Calgary, Alberta.
09:54His name is Jay.
09:55And he's designed a...
09:57Look at this kettlebell.
09:58Guess what the weight is?
09:59Oh, look.
10:00Three dead weights.
10:08Now, Rogan is controversial, but Pierre said this was a great way to spread Canada's message
10:14to millions.
10:15Pierre, what's that message?
10:17The...
10:17Taekwondo, wasn't it really the Koreans that developed so they could actually kick a man
10:22off a horse in war?
10:23Is that why the kicks are so high?
10:25I don't think so.
10:26Okay.
10:27But what did we expect?
10:29It's really, it's called the Joe Rogan Experience, not the Joe Rogan Rational Discussion.
10:38How are you, sir?
10:39Pleasure to meet you.
10:40Likewise.
10:41I brought you a gift.
10:43I don't normally do gifts.
10:45It sort of feels like welfare to me, but here it is.
10:48A kettlebell.
10:50Huh?
10:50I'm a kettlebell freak.
10:52My wife hated it, so I'm re-gifting it.
10:54Here, let me toss that over to you.
10:57Oh, gosh.
10:59Oh, my God.
11:01You know what?
11:01I'm just gonna...
11:02Maybe I'll just...
11:04Yeah, I'll just leave it on the floor here.
11:06Have you always been a workout guy?
11:08One second.
11:09I just need to catch my breath so that I can pander to you.
11:12You were about to win, and your party was about to win, but then Trump came along and said
11:17he was gonna turn Canada into the 51st state.
11:19Yeah, let's not talk about that.
11:21Did that really have that much of an effect up there?
11:23No, okay?
11:25No one lost their job, all right?
11:26Would you just drop it?
11:29I'm sorry.
11:30Sorry about that.
11:31That tone is reserved for my interns.
11:34Sorry?
11:35You say sorry.
11:36That's funny.
11:37That's so Canadian.
11:38Can you say that you'd vote for me, please?
11:41That would really influence some people.
11:43I don't believe you should have that kind of control over people.
11:47Well, and how else will I beat the liberals?
11:49A jump spinning back kick to the face?
11:51No, I'll do it without kicks.
11:53That's not working.
11:54Okay, this isn't going how I thought.
11:55Can we just break for a snack and then maybe reset?
11:58If you want to go and have five Big Macs, you should be able to.
12:01No, no, I brought an egg so that what...
12:03Wait, what?
12:04Five Big Macs?
12:05It is actually a superfood, and it is actually better for you than honey.
12:10Okay, how am I the voice of reason here?
12:13You know what?
12:14This is a waste.
12:15If you're not going to help me win, I'll find another way.
12:19That philosophy and that perspective from a leader is what we need in this world.
12:25Really?
12:26If I was a Canadian, I would vote for you 100%.
12:28Joe, please.
12:30I'm blushing.
12:31I'm turning dark pale.
12:34Okay.
12:35Yes.
12:36The 51st state thing messed me up.
12:39I lost my riding, and I had to take a seat from someone else.
12:44What you did was unbelievably evil.
12:47You know what?
12:48I'm taking my kettlebell back.
12:50That's right.
12:51This is mine.
12:53I'm re-gifting it back to me.
12:56Oh, God.
13:01This week, Ontario Premier Doug Ford said he's looking into live-streaming bail hearings.
13:06He said he wants to make the process more transparent.
13:08Plus, it's a great way to keep tabs on his high school friends.
13:14Doug is really trying to look tough on crime.
13:16He wants to legalize pepper spray and had this to say about a resident who shot and injured
13:21an alleged home invader.
13:23Congratulations for shooting this guy.
13:26Should have shot him a couple more times as far as I'm concerned.
13:28Doug, you shouldn't have said that.
13:31And you really shouldn't have sent him a card.
13:34Turns out the only crimes Ford softs on are his own.
13:38Last week, he changed the law, making his cell phone exempt from freedom of information
13:42requests.
13:43Didn't you learn anything from your high school buddies, Doug?
13:46Rule number one, get a burner.
13:50Hi, I'm Ontario Premier Doug Ford, and I'm concerned for my safety.
13:53I'm concerned for your safety.
13:55The streets of Toronto are filled with crooks and kooks.
13:58And I said, why isn't somebody doing something about this?
14:01And they said, because, sir, that's your job.
14:03That's why I want to legalize pepper spray.
14:07Now, a lot of bleeding-heart liberals are going to say it's not safe.
14:10But I think it's time we stop worrying about hurting criminals.
14:14Now, this here is Officer McKenzie.
14:16Now, he's going to help me to demonstrate that pepper spray is perfectly safe.
14:20Are you ready?
14:21Yes, sir.
14:22All right.
14:23Now, when the bad guys come, all you got to do is point this towards them and...
14:27Oh, my eyes!
14:30Okay, I'm glad that happened, because, folks, you really got to remember to check which
14:34way the nozzle is facing.
14:35You see that dot there?
14:37That's where the spray comes out.
14:38But it's really tiny, so you really got to look...
14:41Oh, my eyes!
14:43Turn your head.
14:44Turn your head!
14:47Stop pressing!
14:48I'm also advocating for castle laws.
14:51In the States, if some bomb breaks into your house, you've got the right to defend yourself.
14:55Let's go to the doors and see what Ontarians think.
14:59Hello?
15:00I'm Premier...
15:01Help!
15:03I'm your Premier!
15:05No!
15:15Ew!
15:17Ew!
15:19Ew!
15:19Ew!
15:28Remember the NDP?
15:30Last spring, Jagmeet Singh led the party to his worst election result in history.
15:35This weekend, members will elect a new federal leader.
15:38Putting our guests out of a job, please welcome interim party leader Don Davies!
15:44Don?
15:49Thanks for being here. I assume you tried to get on Joe Rogan like Pierre Polyev, but they said no.
15:56Did you bring me a kettlebell?
15:57I can't even lift a kettlebell.
15:59Folks, if you know Mr. Davies, you probably have seen an excellent speech you gave at the Parliamentary Press Gallery
16:06dinner,
16:06which is a night when different party leaders get together and kind of roast each other.
16:10You killed. We have a clip.
16:12The last election was tough for New Democrats, despite having a hip, fit, and well-dressed leader.
16:20So in choosing an interim leader, we're going to go in a different direction.
16:24Very funny.
16:26Very funny.
16:27Yeah.
16:29You lost official party status.
16:31The NDP now has just six MPs, which is convenient because you can all go out and split the one
16:35pizza
16:36and then share an Uber XL home after.
16:41How does it feel to have less seats than a Toyota Sienna?
16:47Well, Mark, I would just say that I think we've got the Liberals and Conservatives right where we want them.
16:53There's no place to go but up.
16:55That's right.
16:55There's a leadership race coming up.
16:57Now, let's talk about that.
17:00Currently, none of the candidates really speak French.
17:02Here they are trying.
17:04My first job, I worked at a place...
17:06Oh, jeez.
17:12Je travailleur, liquidation world.
17:16Il faut ouvir grand les bras et reculer le 50% des gens qui ne vont en plus.
17:23For somebody who had two years of high school French 55 years ago, it doesn't feel like it did too
17:28badly.
17:30Incroyable.
17:32Now, the party's had great success in Quebec.
17:35Leighton and Mulcair both really broke through Quebec now, but the orange wave is more of an orange dribble.
17:41Has the party given up on Quebec?
17:43Not at all, no.
17:45You know, I think every party has to go through a regeneration.
17:49You know, I remember in 1993 when the Conservatives went down to two seats.
17:53Yeah.
17:53After having majority government, the Liberals went down to 34 seats at one point.
17:57So, it's an opportunity for a party to rebuild.
17:59And as I say, a bird can't fly without a left wing.
18:03Oh!
18:05Touché.
18:08Now, the Kearney Liberals are kind of like Conservatives these days, you know?
18:13There seems to be a big hole where the left was.
18:17Is it time to fill that hole back up again?
18:20Absolutely.
18:21Yeah, I think it's not an unfair comment to say it looks like we have two Conservative parties in the
18:25House of Commons right now.
18:26We've got a far-right version and we have a sort of a progressive Conservative version.
18:30And so, I think there's a lot of room for the NDP to move in that direction.
18:34And I'm very optimistic about the next election.
18:36All right.
18:37Don Davies, the NDP is in good hands until this weekend.
18:40Then who knows?
18:41But right now, it's in good hands.
18:42Best of luck, sir.
18:56Scientists are finding more tropical fish in Nova Scotia waters.
18:59Say the fish.
19:00They want a damn coal!
19:06As the trade war rages on, we're all doing our best to buy Canadian.
19:10But our grocery giants aren't making it easy.
19:13CBC News uncovered more than a dozen cases of so-called maple washing, like raw almonds, branded as made in
19:20Canada.
19:20But now, the agency is cracking down, hitting two Lobla-owned grocery stores in Toronto, each with a $10,000
19:27fine.
19:33The offending products were items like blueberries, broccoli slaw, and ghee, though that last one's on you.
19:39I mean, who picks up a tub of clarified Indian butter and thinks, oh, is this made in Timmins?
19:46Each offending company was fined $10,000, or roughly two trips to the grocery store.
19:54Finding everything you're looking for?
19:55Well, not really.
19:57I'm trying to buy more products from Canada, but I'm not finding any.
20:00Oh, you just had to look for our Product of Canada sign.
20:02Well, that's the thing, because the sign says these strawberries are a product of Canada, but the packaging says it's
20:07a product of the U.S.
20:08Oh.
20:09Well, that's strange.
20:10And the avocado oil.
20:11The sign says Product of Canada, but the fine print says it's imported.
20:15Yes, it was imported to Canada, where it became a product.
20:19What about the oranges?
20:20The oranges?
20:20Yeah.
20:21What part of Canada are they from?
20:24Orangeville, Ontario.
20:25And the bananas?
20:26Banana-toba.
20:27See, this is ridiculous.
20:28You guys are trying to pass off all your food as Canadian.
20:30Oh, I'm sorry.
20:31Exactly what foods are Canadian?
20:33Donuts?
20:34Wow.
20:35And what does Canadian even mean?
20:38It means from Canada, made here, in Canada.
20:41Okay, well, that's not this, then.
20:42Well, then I'm not buying it.
20:44Uh, the French cheese is 30% off.
20:48The good, stinky stuff?
20:50And where's it packaged?
20:51Hamilton, Ontario.
20:53Oh.
20:54So then I guess it's a product of Canada.
20:56The Canadian Food Inspection Agency fined us $10,000 for mislabeling food as Canadian.
21:02Love Canada.
21:03Oh, no.
21:04Ten grand.
21:06Ha, ha, ha.
21:07A message from Loblaws.
21:11That's the way we saw the world this week.
21:13Thanks to the NDP's Don Davies for stopping by.
21:16Stick around.
21:17Still standing is next.
21:18Good night.
21:18Good night.
21:19Good night.
21:20Good night.
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